HATL'HDAV.Jt'LY L'8, 1888.
THAT MAN 1'IIOM SAI.C.M.
Vnvr Viirk City Donn Up In CrUv Hen
(run' M eiiw nil bmiT llrnnilimy I'ril.
iller nil Ihn t'nrli Tim llnttnry Sernl j
Ureal Men. 1
Went to afternoon reception ot friend's !
Iiouhu Stupid piece of Ijuslni'H.i bit h of
folka wiiiidcrcd In Didn't arum to know
wlmt tlioy'il 1:01110 for Didn't seem to
knoiv wlmt to do wlien they Imd comu.
Tiil';il tliUN "So Klud to wo you."
"Wlmt weather wo'ro huvltiffl" "Have
yon seen Smithy?" "I.et mo Introduce
you to .Mr Cntonlnetall.i," "Happy to
iiinlcv your nciinliitnnco." "Saino to
you " 'U'Iumi nro you coining to roo
U8?" "Two year from nnxt Juno."
"Dearl dear' Why, wv nlmll nil bo dead
thcnl" "Mono you will I'hank you."
"8o kind of you." 'Hnvo you rend thu
lost tliltiK out, 'Tlio I'alr ltojr Trottort' "
"No, Cnn't ri'iul, Never learned." "In
ileedl How much trotililo It must mvo
youl" "It dni'H. Hnvo money by It."
'Ikon hUM" 'Yea" Wlmt wni tlic
mntturT" "Oh, several thing, doctor
told inu I'orjjet tho names .Vow coin
filiilntH, you know Now Ktylcx JiiHt
iniiortcd from I'nrla " "You my you hud
n Imd coldr" 'Yen," 'Wo never hnvo
colds now Wo mil 'cm vltnlle ninpen
nloiiH."
Thnt'H thu way they ruttlrd un and
flimlly rut tied out Took nhiliidiint htook
of each other'a drehses I'ow inch iirvi
(.fit What with twirled thuuihi looked
tillable, slii'cpl-li and thvd l.nwfed 11111
nftor their ft'iiiliiliu.i llko llttlo doffH after
tliolr utitsti-m Wlmt n hidplcHM, IiicIona
being a man Ih In a rhonl of jietticoatH on
ucli ocraMlon.it Look un If ho wanted
iomubody to put an end to hU tulsory
OIIKI.IHK AM) OTIIIIH ANTKit'lTICfl.
Haw the obelisk Doexn't cotnparo with
Hunker Hill inoiiuiiient, cilffon rhiped
mid worn Why Import r.tono from Krypt
when wo'vo ho much of our own? Qiilucy
prnnlto bint ax (,'orul, zoologically JumI n
old Vhltcd park museum. Moru un
tlqliltlcN In Mono, regular Hlouo yard.
Ntutuary from Cypi-UH. ulckt'd, bunded and
dirty.
VInIIimI .Second nveuuo and Knit Side.
i;iiiernlly Mom (lerinauy than In lloiton
molt) piel7el, lmliif,'iiii hausaf;o and (him
brluilH; morn children to the aitliiro yard,
mom niiiiiIIh, moro fain, umIi bo.o., bwIII,
uncleut fn-Hli Hah and liumuii bawling inn
chhu'M M'dilllii)( them
Vlhltcl the Itlalto, Union 8ittaro,Hwnnn
lug plucu for actora looking for work
I'uvemeut Ntitiwu with talent a foot deep
Vu of futuni Mam llurcheiideil statue
of Wnihliiuton near by on a borne, with
arm extended Kceiim to nay to thu hi
trlonlo throng, "do west, young men, pi
went," .Statue of Ijifayetto ditto, dune
Ini; pan hciiI for WiihIi
l r ''roadway Hustling at noon
Kvt. Ik.1n on thu dead null, All soils
of men. Had men Solemn men Itnu
down men .Seedy mmi Hungry men
.Men whoso Icj;h cnu't I'arry em fast
enough Men with all their minds n mile
ahead of em .Men working, rushing,
MWcallug, slaving like peons, making
money, while thu woman Is spending It un
fast if not faster two miles up town
Terrible street to cross Driven mcrcl
less, Wagon touguu threatens one's
back Ditto going for your front, .Men
skipping everywhere, chased to death or
near It by teaus NmvHpaer olllres
piercing thu heavens Street corners con
gested with crowds reading bulletins
More Niiiiburned Italians trudging iiloug
with bales, bags and boxes livery third
linsemeut a beer tunnel Mad car drivers
Having, howling teamsters Teeth gnash
lug cnituieu
ri:niii.i:iin on tin: cuiiii.
Serene iHillceiueii playing solltalro with
their cliilis (lliiicrack. shoestring and
Nhlithtud peddlers on thu curb Sun
baked, cake, cooky and candy s'ddlers
ditto City hall park lieiiche'r. full of
f;ents who've made their fortunes mid
iavt now nothing to do but enjoy them
fan nlTord now to wear their old clothes.
Court house I'll 1 1 of law, lawyer and
lost souls City hall Justice on top
weighing out leg.il prescriptions Was
nhown William .M. I'.varts Dried, but
nut yet smoked Necktie slewed. Won
derful limb of thu law Not much left of
him to bury No fat All gone to brain
If cremated, won't burn Nothing olea
f;lnous on him to kindle with. Am told
m U u chronic ohJictor. Objects to
everything but his feca.
Went to the Hattcry Crowded, with
foreign fathers and mothers of our future
presidents Don't speak ICuglisli nt i)n
ent riume liHikiug over to Comiuuiilpaw
thinking It Nebraskii
Went to ivstuurunt near Washington
mm l;ct Attacked at taldu bv a rullhm
Turmsl out to is a waiter luipresslvu
lallguagi "Iti'ef steak, gilt islged' A cup
of entice, milk outkiile ' Ordered broiled
nhiul. Waiter liiml piste and all at mo at
four feet distance Wonderful piccMon
ColIe cups half nil inch thick Nicked
almut tslge Pieces prolublv bittt ll out.
Visited Thu Herald ullk'o I'ull-of
edltoi waiting fur bibs Their pring
suits not set ready Viin lufnrmetl most
of 'em Imd been turloughet! fur writing
brilliant article Sent down stairs to
have blmrp slgu taken oil them
W'tt shown Chauneoy leMw Nice
man. (ielilal Might day speaking cluck
ut public dinners .S'over runs duwu
.S'lfHcilug htemwhulur luinnmintu
hiHHH'hts built by thu mllo liku .Mulne
Hu Wits Not Delicate.
A thin, dcllrnto looking woman nat In a
horso car one evening recently, and next
her snt n nntlvoof tho oueen's realm, Tho
window behind tho Uriton was open, and
tho cool wind bluw in on tho woman, mnk-
lug her shl-'tr At Inst nho unld In a Indy. '
llko way. "Won't you bo ktnd enough to
close tho window behind you, ns It nmltcs i
mo very cold?" It would hnrdly hnvo
caused tho man any Inconvcnlcnco to
grant this request, but ho replied hnrshly,
"I prefer It fipen; you Americans can't i
stand anything; you all nccin to havo con
Httmptlon " Tho other passengers In tho'
cur were iintouuded at Ids Incivility, mid i
theru wcro many angry glances cast nt tho ,
roynl Htibjuct
Vinnlly n gcntlcmnn roso on the oppo. .
slto hide of tho cur, and, approaching the I
I'.ngiiNiimnn, run nnout upotimis avoir
dupol, leaned over hitn, nml, grasping the
window, slummed It (lawn with vigor;
then ho remarked "Now my friend. If ;
you think nil Americans nro atlllcted with i
consumption you just ral.se, that window
ngnln I um nn American " The llttlo
woman bluslvd. tho other pasMingcrs
smiled, tho Ainerlniu returned to hl seat,
and tho lirltou looked out of the window
uud thought -Snn l-ronrlsro Argou.'iut
m'Ihhmiow, nial cut oil in vnrioiu lengths
ustouivnt, time. plaivM ami on
I'retitlco .Mulfgnl In Now
to HUil
IHlHlll Iti 't.
irK Mar
. I ' NctOUCO Of I'Ulll.
lVuprut.'i ill Uiw grounds (to young
luiidK'up' gunlenert lUvw ywi ovei
ht ulied or t iwihologyr
4UhImhmi Uanleuer -o. lr.
1'nmru'l.ir Wi, Uiwi yon wwi't ik
1 luiiki li h uutll m hu tkorxiiighl) uhI0T
htttiuU hv) iiiHuul Hlh. - UuiliiHtOH IW
Tlic U'. "t tMsrkwuln."
It IIM" tll tu eWM IllAfOn.
to know the niiili .( l ie wnnt cnii r.
mate .,,oii..m: in Notes noil i'uenei.
ii . . v . . - iU il. uiimI
tie a. i.i. ii.i .i
lletnl Clerk In Ni-w tirU.
It is exceedingly dllllcult fur n hotel
clerk out of employment to secure it posl
I tlou In tiny of the lending hotels. Theru
nre nt least threo clerks who Imvu held po
sltfous In Hie irlnclpal hotels who havo
been out of employment for u year or
more. They have given tip hopu of so
curing employment hero In any of tho
' lending hotcM. Yet they ranked high
among their iivsoclntcs, and In every re
' sped weio first elas men. Hut they say
I Hint when a vacancy occurs in any of tho
I hotels the position Is given lo n man from
foniu other city. A clerk from riilm
dclphln, Itostou or Chicago Is preferred.
.More people comu hero I rum thoe cities
tliim from tiny others. A clerk from
Philadelphia, for Instance, It Is expected
will liillnenco n large number of peoplo
from the Quaker City to stop ill the hotel
which employs him, whereas u New York
clerk will not poscess such an Inlluence.
Nuw York World.
'tile l Ii ii.ililiin's Drwit'oll In Itlir.
The (,'lilii.iinan's devotion to his rice Is
ns great us it 1 1 Ihiglishmnu'ii to his dinner,
uud nt their regular times for "chow"
II In the morn In it uud 5 In the afternoon
nothing can take lilm away from his
bowl of rice. As nil the city life Is nl
fresco otio hees miles of feeding C'hlnaineu
if hu progresses through tho streets ut
their meal hours, tu each open room or
(.hop tho hccnu Is the same n circle of
llrly heathens gathered ttroniul u table,
ihovellug the rice into their mouths us
fast us chopsticks can play, thu edges of
the howls being held to their months
merely as u funnel to direct the stream.
One cuti stand In tlutshops, vainly waiting
to purchase, uud a surly Chinaman will
only come forward when ho has Mulshed
his howl-of rice, uud has u subllinu lie
(inference lo trade, prollts mid cheating
when II Is his rice time Canton Letter.
rations i r ll Tuney rirtiiiiriinl.
Tho ik'inauils made on n clerk ut Del
inonlco's nro almost infinite. He must
bu nblo tu answer nil sorts of iierici
from astronomy to horse car routes In
ftiu I'rnncisco; from the news of thu latest
lire, races or nccldeui to the rules of so
cial precedence nt the court of St, James.
People nio continually wanting checks
cashed, tickets for entertainments, money
changed, bills made out, etc.
The other day mi Infantile looking dude
came In mid cried i
"WhatV my blllf"
"Nlnety'seveu cents," mild the clerk,
after u short computation,
"All right; don't let It run over fl,"
and the joiilli departed with a flourish.
People send servants In ut nil hours foi
bouillon, tiiihid, wine, cigars or cigarettes,
some of thu latter being doubtless foi
women. New York Tiibittu
llllii'ls Cullll-luVlK-rs,
A l.o'idi.u telegram relates nn amusing
lncldcuitl.nl occurred In a ca-e on trial
In one of the civil courts on Saturday,
One of the attorneys in the ease was .Mr.
Henry V Dhketis, sonof the novelist, mid
during the progress of thetrlnl he brought
down the house by calling lis a witness
John Pickwick. ijtioth the presiding
baron: ''What an appropriate witness to
Ih sworn for u Dickens!" This caused
Immense merriment, which Increased
when .Mr. Dickens added! "Hy n stilt
more curious coincidence the wltuevs Is n
descendant of .Mr. Moses Pickwick, pro
prietor of the ll.'ith conch, from which I
hnvo reason to bvllevo the character ot
Mr. Pickwick was taken, mid I verily t I
llcvo that one of thu reason why 1 wns
retained In the case was that I might call
Mr. Pickwick." Indianapolis .lotinml.
Leezer & Kuebler,
DRUGGISTS
Ttie lftrnnt nti'l most cotupletn stock of
Drugs, Medicmcc.
CHEMICALS, !
i
Toilet Sl Fancy Articles
In Eastern Oregon.
GIVE US A CALL.
ire You Protected?
Dcspain Block
Pendleton.
IF YOU WANT THE EARTH
TAKE
THE WORLD
It is almost tho same thing.
No Premiums;
No Special Offers;
No Cut Rates;
Hut
THE BEST AND BIGGEST
NEWSPAPER
On Tho North American Continent.
12 I.uik'o I'uiicri and 81 Long t'oliinniH.
A POPULAR NOVEL
I'litillnhed In and ul veil wild each Imio of
lliu w era iv edition.
ItHtfliiiilnir All . I. mill roiitltiulnc lluri-
aflor, l li World will print with each Issue a
i'iiuiisi' novel liy a H)unar iinllior. Anionic
me wti'it win i.ei
!Tli:t)iich',ss,
.Mrs. Alexander,
Molin H. U'lnier,
Jllenry WihhI,
I.M. K. Ilraddou,
"Klorence U artleii,
.Miirv Cecil liny
lli'itba M. Clay,
llllle Kilwiii'ds,
ItliiKla Ivdwanls,
v.c. l'l.niins.
Tliei-e novels will lie thu latest Wilms of Din
lat writers us they arc iml)lllicl-the Isioks
wnieli every one Is l ilklnn uliout. Notlilmc
hut Hie very btst will hu mlnilllcd Into the
World' Htiin.iiinl l.lbrury of ilctlou,
This Library ori'lcll in Will lie Hupplled to
Hiih.crlberi Only,
No K.ttin Cotili's Will He t'riuted.
No Hack NuiiiIjits Can I In Furnished ami No
hiKle Copies Will hiiHobl.
If You Wish tlm Hi rles ComplR'.e,
HUlHCItlllK ATONCK.
One Vrar (VJ number"), 51:
(1 .Monllmp) numbers), SO?.;
.1 Mouths (13 inimliersi.e,
Adilri
THE WORLD, Now York.
Waller Ik-linl.
Wllkle Collins,
Itoht, Miirhanaii,
It. I.. Htevciisuu,
II I. rnrji'iia,
Thomiis llanly,
Jiillmi llawllinrue,
K W. Itnblnxin,
I'hnlle (latHiihiu,
Jules Vellie,
iu, iiiiick.
l lleil In llrriimii) I
No foreigner has as et solved the myv
i ut lliu tlerman best Tho question j
ui'h must olten turns tip Is whelhei tu
-) ou the top of the mattress uud sitf
an isjuul iiivu of cold, or to p't par j
.:iv under tho mat tress uud toienmiu '
I lot tho ulKht in sections A tall man i
id n lierimui IhmI lorm ubout as tncon
nous and wn'tclusl a combination us
world of nrt. Iletnm, or mechanics euu '
.iuw llerlln Letter I
FOR SALE
On nud after this date, ns adiiilulstrutor of
Hip estate of the Into llllam Itoss, I oirer
foraleall Hie live stock owned by the ilt
c.'asvd,cons!stlni; of
Thorouyhhrvrt Hereford Hulls.
Sim rt-horn Cattle, (Jrttile Cattle,
and General Stuek Cattle.
Thorauuhhred Sxnthh Merino
Jtnehu and Kwen, Jieihtered,
Grade ltnrks and Stock Sheep.
Also n lante number of Horses uud a quan
tity of liny,
TERMS TO SUIT PURCHASERS,
Kor particulars, cull on orivldnns
R. C. THOMPSON,
AitmlulHtrAtor,
iny.'lil.w tf IViullctnn.Or.
WM. GARDNER & CO.,
Sanitary and hw0 Engineers.
Mamifiu'turtTs
Steam and Hot Water
Heating Apparatus,
fiinrmiphlv in nrotection should not
go any longer without insuranco on their property, of wlmtso
ever kind; and nearly everyone believes that a policy in a good,
Reliable Insurance Co.
Is worth every time what it costs, and procrastination should not
be indulged in when it conies to taking out a policy. In the
first place, pick out competent and
RELIABLE AGENTS,
With whom to dp your business those who represent nono but
the best insurance companies and go straightway and insure.
When in search of such agents, don't fail to turn your "peepers"
in the direction of the oflice ol
Clopton & Jackson,
Located in tho EAST OREGON IAN building, Pendleton,
where you can have any kind of insurance, whether Fire, Ma
rine, Accident or Life insurance, done up in
TickelsTv,nhlto
--p-'in-mimanPiij
Kml8rant8leeplncr,n,.
OMAHA, COUNCIL BLUFFS nn
FM80,0,iarndwitfcJ
Close connection t PonW I
West bnut.d freljht 52
partu an 1 15 p. m . n"a
Leaves nt fl.w. .
.1.. ... . "r- ior I'lia
IKW ill I . k II. in. rmm ur.it.
B'jite, May la
urcKon, amy in
Coltimblii, Msyai
fun U. ,1 II V ill
Oreiton, Jtny f
uoiumiii,!, June 1
Htnte. Jiimifi
Oregon. J line 0
(.olumiils.Jiinolj
Htate, Juno 17
Oregon, June 51
Co limbla. Jim'
Htate, June'jg
ureKOii, Jiuy 3
Hiu, i
Kuu:J
Orrnil
Lenve Htoumahtnwh. h..
nlKht, "
Ijcnvo Spear Hu nharf,RarJ
Cabin,
IUt of l'Muri
IucludliiB mralitmU
HlconiKe,
lioilllll J Till
UullmlM.
Kor further pnrtlcuUrn Inanira
iM.h A, 0.m 'V!"J''. A-'
A T. A.. Purl liin.l nMA.
I'ortlmiil, Orr(on.
A. k HUI
W. II. IIOMO.MH,
(Icncrnl Msnijfr.
W. Ci AM))V1T,J
Great Rock Is
. ASP
ALBERT LEA HOH
Tho direct uud popular lint h
wiiu inn ntiriiirrn rum
from Hi. i'uul and Mlanttpmii
To C'hlruicu and the Kin.
To Nt. Laulnnnit IkeMitiB
To lien .Malnri, Oiuial
A trillion aiiiKiJ
The Only Lino Si
nt Council lliu
Uliv for
un, Lf(enoiui
APPLE-PIE ORDER!
A True Mildlrr,
"Viw, ietitlunen," salil tho eolouel, ns
hu roturnoil hit ulnvsto the counter, "tho
irn NilUUr in never aveoo to iliMrltillius.
.Vouwtwr lunv objoctlonabl onlerH from ! KOlWKl.UNsoiti,tMlI.ICHUIt,niN(iJ
n uperior otlUvr uwy lw, the uiiut bo .
ohvyiNl irouiMl) nnil without uueolUm. .,.. ... ...
Tile true wdilier never" ' hlwlrtl'1",1 ""d emtmaies fiirnlsluHl foi
"IW ho roloRrlltllUoy, own o"diii In any eeitouof thei-oun.
lUtf UK) llour. "IIIH tO CtiUli) holilO iK' ''"I'-lldeile.- M.li.jtwl.
titthl vvn." !
ili-Sf!lt WkUM,U """nd' OFFICE: I34THIRD STREET,
.. . j Portlnnd, Orogon. ihjs
Iron hi SHI. I 1
l) Lm li:m Uu ittaktna u
InviviUvu :i of tho amount
uulk, ami OmU that cow' m v
mow of till ooutituvut
,111111,11 i(. iiVkim.1 ,..111; f
fw 1 ii -r lent, m
lo toll I't i-1 v i I . a l
It is well to remember that to bo secure you must insure in
one of the Thirty Reliable Companies represented by
Clopton & Jackson, with a combined capital of moro than
$100,000,000!
ntii
in .
XtruUeil ;
. troii in
:x utmi'tf
,liher
. I in
in liuio n
PETER
Dealer In Pine
SMITH
and Fir Wood,
If you contemplato insurance, call on them and get posted
i ; .Mi . ...
ami a win cost you nothing. Ke.uember their ollico is in
EAST OREGONIAN buildin
tho
up
or address
UIIIU.IUO ANII ALL rOllfl
I'nllinan Palace Sturm
Palace Dining OM
Accompnny nil tlirouih Eipral
iiim Home.
Tlrkem for miln by all coarMM
ami eonncctiona injeioiai
Korfnll InfornintlonrtftnfaJl
ctc.,npiiy to any ro'ipun iptnl
iwinli.u r.rlo W. C. Alii
Ticket AtmUlI
rcDOinn.i
CIIAH. KKXKIV,Vra,IH
No. 3 Wnahlnzton Ht. - IVI
i.. a iiir.Tiimnu
'h,ii Tut nnil l',i.. ArLd Ml
Chlcnifo.lll. , JT'KI
(Jen. T. and KAitH-tl
An5 Mlr
GREAT OVERLAND I
THE Nnrthprn Pacific I
THK ONLY LINE RCSfB
fuHmonMif'irrA'riTiiiOiri
WiU Jltrtlu fiM
From Oreaon and Walking
to the Eait,
PI (j Until ami Mlnntteoln
' linoVSnnlnel'-UMWl
(Mean u vi
- . v.... MiJr I
Count Over tte W
I'arine ri (
To Bloux Clly, Council Kta
AtohlKon, fvnwortb.
llarllniflon.Oulncy.HtU'Yj
all point throughout th -
runt via Ht. I'milani! MlaeW"
EMIGItANTfihKKW0tJ
Are hnulMl on rolar "PJiM
the entire enKlli of Ibl "m
ltullroad.
IHve Wnllula JuutUnSH
Ive J'orlland 13 ft-" '.."!
MlnnenpolU or Ht. Val tt rl
(ouriniiuv. , p-jij
Conneellon mnile 2!:,,,n41
olla to nil polnta Kal. K " 1
TrnlnwiJIUavelrt.
all polnta on i'uset cHlIJ
Oenerai Wftern ra"P,wl
Wa.uiugton u, "iVffAT.I
ACCIDENTS Will l
. . TitrMi
rney no napprii lil r
TRAVELERS INSURANut
the Tu VKtEna' rSJiSi
rnv at n(0 lt' w0!'J,,i
Uophm & Jackson,
Will !
f III f .
f.'
J. . -.
'Iv.'r wwl 'o nv pirt of t ,u 11 li
'I !' K t ll 4 Ml l l .1 (Mill. 11 li :4 , j ,T,
...I.
- .t iUo ir'K I . !
n i tt
rlattna llit eycu Bf ,"r.,7or
noil nri'ineiin ,
claim, wliliou; ','urB'vi '
rwiptofa t ''n''0,!
provl.loni In " I "
Aceti.
IUH I.IIIIIUIU Ul
nf Surplus.
.,..nn,TrVlInIIE,,s.l'l,,
Gloplon &
i' i. i it - v v v.. i ,i..a i.
lit ,
Pendleton,
Ore
Rf$i;N"i
fon.
. ..II Hllf. 11
Kan oresoniau