Thursday, October 21, 1937
The Gold Hill News, Gold Hill, Oregon
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ADVENTURERS* CLUB
H E A D L I N E S FR O M T H E L IV E S
O F P E O P L E L IK E Y O U R S E L F I
Minding Your Business.
ANTA MONICA, CALIF —A
society is forming in Eng
“ Through a Tropic Holocoust'*
land for the defense of the
By FLOYD GIBBONS
former Edward VIII, now the
Fam ous Headline Hunter
duke of Windsor and honorary
citizen of all places in this coun
ello everybody :
Well, sir, fellow adventurers, people have all kinds of try named for the Simpson fam
troubles in this bothersome old world of ours. You have your ily.
This society does not hope to re
troubles and I have mine. Maybe the old spinning ball would be
just TOO nice a place to live on if we didn’t have our share of store the duke to the throne. That
adversity to make the sweet seem sweeter and the bright seem would not only an
noy the archbishop
brighter still. Anyhow, I have a letter here from Alberta L. of
Canterbury, he al
Hitchins of New York City, who has had her troubles—plenty of ready having things
’em—but who doesn't let them bother her very much. No, sir. to annoy him. such
Because every time she begins to think her troubles are too much as Americans, but
would seriously up
for her, she looks back on that horrible day in Kingston, Jamaica, set
M r.
Stanley
In January, 1907, and realizes that what looks like troubles to her Baldwin,
who upsets
now don’t really deserve the name of trouble at all.
so easily that it
S
H
On that fateful day Mrs. Hitchins was sitting in the office of J.
Eustace Burke & Brothers, the firm for which she worked. She wasn’t
Mrs Hitchins then—just Alberta, the assistant cashier. With her in the
office was her boss, her sister—one or two other women who worked
there too Outside, it was a clear, tropical, sunshiny day. From over
head came the rumble of machinery in a bottling plant on the floor above
When the Earthquake Struck.
At 3:30 la the afternoon, a distant, ominous, rumbling sound
startled all Kingston. In the office where Alberta worked, how
ever, nobody paid any attention to these sounds. The bottling
plant on the floor above was always noisy. Rumblings were
nothing new to the employees of Burke & Brothers. The first
Intimation that Alberta had that anything was wrong was when
she happened to look up from her work and saw that the wall in
front of her desk S E E M E D TO BE B E N D IN G O V E R !
At the same time, she felt herself suddenly—inexplicably—slipping
from her chair. She jumped to her feet. From overhead a shower ol
E ilaster fell, littering her desk. All at once, things seemed to be flying
all directions. Then, in a moment, all was quiet again.
In the office, there was a moment of tense silence. Then Alberta
heard the voice of her boss saying: “ M y God! An earthquake! San
Francisco all over again!” Alberta took a quick look around the of-
seems strange the
British never have
thought of calling
him Reversible Stan. Irvin S. Cobb
Besides, the throne
would be quite crowded if the duke
tried to snuggle in there along with
the present occupants.
What some of us over here think—
and that goes for many Canadians,
too—is that England has a crying
need for a society dedicated to the
broad general principle of minding
its own business and suffering the
duke and his wife to mind theirs.
We have a rough idea that both of
them can better endure long-dis
tance snubs than officious meddling
in their private affairs. Just being
an ex-king is u hard enough jo b -
even if you ca.i get it to do.
• • •
Political Afterthoughts.
ASTER ROLLO, aged seven,
and city raised, was visiting
relatives in the country. On his
first morning he came in wearing a
worried cast of countenance.
“ Mother,” he sa d. “ I ’ve been out
under the mulberry trees.”
“ Yes.”
"Mother, do mulberries have hard
backs and six legs and crawl around
on the ground?”
“ Why, certainly not.”
“ Then, Mother," said Rollo in
stricken tones, “ I feel I have made
a dreadful mistake.”
What’s the point? Oh nothing, only
I got to imagining what the brood
ing regrets of some members of
the administration and a m ajority of
the members of the senate must be
when they recall the alacrity with
i which they moved to fill a certain
recent vacancy in a certain very
high court—in fact, the highest one
we’ve got.
• • •
Hirsute Virility.
A RISIAN boulevardiers believe a
dense arboreal effect of whiskers
is proof that the wearer is indeed
a man, without, in all cases, being
absolutely convincing about it.
We haven’t gone that far yet, but
I would like to know whence comes
this notion of appraising masculine
vigor by the amount of hair along
the breast-bone? Morbid, I calls it.
Two distinguished authors battle
when one intimates the other is
scantily adorned in that regard, for
getting that, in the immature sum
m er peltage of his kind, an author
has but a scanty growth as com
pared with the richer winter coat.
And then prying reporters ask the
new glamor prince of the movies
whether he has any fleece at all
upon his chest, their tone indicating
they rather expected to find trailing
arbutus there, or at least some shy
anemone.
Years ago in the hospital, when I
was being shorn for an operation
,1 remember remarking to myself
'th a t here was the only barber who’d
ever worked on me without trying to
sell me a bottle of hair tonic.
M
A Tottering Wall Fell With a Crash.
flee. There were five people in it. Miraculously, not one of them was
injured. Alberta heaved a sigh of relief—too soon. At that moment the
trembling started all over again.
From outside came the sound of a piercing shriek. A woman
In the next building! Alberta started toward the door—felt some
one grab her by the arm . It was her sister. "Don’t go out
there,” her sister cried. A tottering wall fell with a crash. The
woman's voice was stilled.
Terrible Scenes in the Streets.
The boss started to gather up the company’s books and put them
In the safe. The girls turned to and helped. When that was finished,
Alberta and her sister made their way out to the street and started to
head for home, down by the waterfront.
The town was a shambles. Buildings were down everywhere. Walls
were down—streets a mass of wreckage—debris strewn everywhere.
Men, women, children—even animals—were stretched out on the pave
ment, dead or frightfully injured. Everywhere, cries for help. People
pinned under falling buildings—half buried in the wreckage—shouted
pathetic appeals for aid that almost drove Alberta and her sister mad
with pity.
And to add to the horror, fire broke out—everywhere—and many who
could otherwise have been saved had to be abandoned by the rescuers
to a living death in the flames.
It was the most harrowing sight two girls had ever seen. They
struggled home to find their mother and younger sister alive, but
frightfully injured. They had just been dug out from under the
wreckage of what had been their home.
Earthquake shocks were still coming at intervals. Alberta and
her sister cast about for medical aid for their mother and the little
girl. The hospital was miles away—and in ruins. The only safe place
left was the sea. They took them aboard a veseel anchored in the har
bor and put them in care of the ship’s doctor.
There were hundreds of other people on that boat—hundreds of
refugees from the stricken city. All afternoon they straggled aboard.
Doctors—volunteer nurses came from the town. They turned that boat
into a hospital ship for the care of the injured.
Tragedies in a Night of Horrors.
Night came— a night that transformed the city into a red inferno
rimmed by the cosmic blackness. Fire flamed up anew in a hundred
different quarters.
Buildings tottered. Walls crumbled. The shrieks
of the victims continued all through the night. Dogs howled in the streets.
Fanatics sang wildly. People went insane for no other reason than that
which they had seen—and heard.
Terrible scenes were enacted in those grim hours. A father
and son were trapped between two walls of a fallen building.
Rescuers were striving to get to them. They were almost free,
when flame shot through the building, driving the rescuers back.
The trapped man's business partner had just time to pass his
hand through a hole in the wall— give his friend a last handshake
before the flames were upon him and he had to dash back, the
cries of his associate and the boy still ringing in his ears.
In the heartrending scenes that went on through that terrible night,
Alberta almost lost her mind. Long before it was over, she was a wom
an moving in a daze. Somehow she lived through it—somehow kept
her sanity. And now—
Now Alberta is married. As the mother of three children she has
responsibilities—sometimes troubles. But when she has troubles, she
looks back at that awful January day in Kingston and wonders what
the people who bled and died in that holocaust would think of her
feeble little woes.
e - W N U Service.
Monument to the Sea Gull
In Salt Lake City a granite col-
mn about sixteen feet high stands
n a granite pedestal in a basin
lirty feet in diameter. The column
upports a granite ball upon which
vo bronze-gilt gulls are represent-
d as alighting gently. The monu-
lent commemorates the saving by
ulls of the pioneers of Utah, in
548, from hordes of grasshoppers
lat threatened to devour every leaf
nd blade of their fields. The mon-
ment bears the inscription: “ Sea
ull Monument. Erected in Grate-
il Remembrance of the Mercy of
od to the Mormon Pioneers.”
Why It Is a “ Bridewell”
Long ago a hospital was built in
London on the site of a former royal
palace over a medicinal spring
known as St. Bride’s Water. This
was contracted to Bridewell. After
the Reformation, according to Lon
don Answers Magazine, King Ed
ward V I chartered the London hos
pitals to different work. Christ’s
hospital was devoted to the educa
tion of the young, St. Thomas’ to the
cure of the sick, and Bridewell was
turned into a penitentiary for un
ruly apprentices and vagrants. Thus
“ Bridewell" gradually slipped into
use as a general name for prisons.
P
Miss America—1937.
T LAST some rational excuse—
in moral values, anyhow—has
been found for a so-called national
beauty contest.
The seventeen-year-old New Jer
sey g irl chosen as “ Miss America of
1937” is not going into vaudeville,
is not going to make any personal
appearances, is not coming to Holly
wood for a screen test, is not going
to accept a radio contract, is not
even going to write her life story
for publication. She w ill return to
school and to the normal home life
of a well-raised normal girl—that is,
unless she changes her mind about
it all.
I f she shouldn’t change her mind,
she stands out as probably the san
est young person of her age at pres
ent residing on this continent, or,
should we say, this planet.
I f she should change her m in d -
well, the American populace has
been fooled many a time and oft be
fore. Our grandfathers didn’t be
lieve human beings ever could fly.
Our fathers didn’t believe anybody
would ever lick John L. Sullivan.
Only the other day our United States
senators didn’t believe their fellow-
statesman, M r. Black of Alabama,
could be a Klansman. They thought
that low but persistent sound of
“ Ku-Klux, Ku-Klux” was but the
voice of a modest hen.
A
IRVIN S. COBB.
e-WNU Service.
7
7IÆ
A sk M e y f
Another ■
1. What American statesman
was the grandson of a king?
3. How much does a single inch
of rain over an acre weigh?
Over a square mile?
3. How many wars have there
been since the signing of the
Armistice in 1918?
4. Do Chinese surnames pre
cede or follow the given names?
5. Who was the author of "Give
me men to match my moun
tains"?
8. Name some famous musi
cians who had the gift of abso
lute pitch.
7. How many cabinet members
were there in the first President's
cabinet?
8. What is the usual order of
business for general meetings of
clubs and sim ilar organizations?
9. What caused a farm to
“ sink” in Idaho?
10. How many words are there
in the English language?
Answers
1. Charles Bonaparte, a mem
ber of Theodore Roosevelt’s cab
inet.
3. A single inch of rain weighs
113 tons an acre, or 73,300 tons
a square mile.
A Qui» With
Answer« Offering
I n f o r m a tio n on
V arious Subject«
November 11, 1918.
4. They precede.
8. Samuel Foss.
8, Among them are Mozart,
Brahms, Mendelssohn, Rachman
inoff, Von Bulow and Mux Reger.
7. Three: secretaries of state, at
first called foreign affairs; treas
ury and war. The attorney g e n
eral and postmaster general were
not at first given cabinet rank.
8. Reading of the minutes; re
ports of boards and standing com
mittees: reports of special (se
lect) committees; special orders;
unfinished business; general or
ders; new business.
9 The geological survey terms
this a landslip The SAlnron Falls
river undercuts Its canyon walls
until some of the land overhead
breaks away, causing cracks or
other lund adjustments at some
distance from the rim.
10. According to the World Al
manac the reputable English ion-
gage
contains
approximately
700,000 words. Possibly 300,000
more terms may be stigmatized
as nonce, obsolete, vulgar, low,
etc., and therefore seldom or
never sought in dictionaries.
3.8^
It ’S No Use
“ Every time I look at you, M ag
gie. I think of Ginger Rogers."
“ Do you, David?"
“ Yes, but a chap like me has to
be content,”
“ Wooden - headed drivers are
best." says a golf expert. Not on
the road.
Two Sides to It
"She thinks no man is good
enough for her."
“ Well, she may be right. ’
“ She may be. But she may be
left, too."
Resourceful:
The man who
promised his wife a circular lour
—and took her on a m errygo-
round.
Should Help
Mrs. Browne—What I say to you
never seems to bear any fruit,
Mr. Browne—T ry pruning It a
little.
S
Ä
Ä
Ä
!
TO MAKE
Never Before H ave
T ir e . Been P«» »’
Such G r u e llin g
Torture
M.IOO9« on<1
Z
Mile« in 14
s « ',ae’ ’¿ 2 d ’
a T SPEEDS as high as 180 miles an
SJxrp Granila-»»«
Soit Bodsot
137.07 M IU . « How
Average
hour — with the hot, coarse, abrasive salt
grinding, tearing, scorching his tires — Ab
Jenkins* special racer, weighing nearly
three tons, pounded over the Bonneville
Salt Beds at such terrific speed that it caused
the surface to break up. Before the end of
the run the track was so pitted and rough
that it was almost impossible to hold the
car on its course. Yet Jenkins set 87 new
W orld, International and American speed
records on Firestone Tires.
Building tires capable of establishing
such records is made possible by patented
Firestone manufacturing processes. I hese
exclusive features enable Firestone to
provide car owners with txtra saje tires.
For the greatest protection equip your
car with Firestone TRIPLE-SAFE Tires. By
TRIPLE-SAFE we mean —
5 .7 5 -1 8 .......... •
4.50-21.............
4.75-19............. .
5-OO-19............. .
5.25-17............. .
5.25-18............. .
5.50-16............. .
5.50-17............ ,.
5.50-18.............
6.00-16.............
■I PROTECTION AGAINST SKIDDING
■ — The scientific tread design stops your
car up to 2 9 % quicker.
AGAINST BLOWOUTS
2 — PROTECTION
The Firestone patented Gum-Dipping
process counteracts internal friction and
heat that ordinarily cause blowouts.
AGAINST PUNCTURES
3 — PROTECTION
T w o extra layers of Gum-Dipped cords
7 -9 5
1O.OÇ
1 9 .6 0
1 1 .4 9
IX . 15
1 X .7 9
1 5 .7 5
1 1 .9 5
1 4 .1 0
1 5 .5 5
under the tread give extra protection against
( M o t H i m Prc u fHoRgRe l y L m p
punctures.
Make your car tire-safe for fall and winter
driving. Join the Firestone SAVE A LIFE Campaign today by letting your Firestone Dealer or Firestone
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rOU CANNOT AFFORD TO DRIVE WITHOUT
FIRESTONE TRIPLE-SAFE TIRES
EXTRA
POW ER
AUTO
R A D IO
BATTERY
Last year highway accident! cost the Iivee of more than }g,000 m en, women and
children and a million m ere were Injuredl
More than i 40,000 of those deaths and injuries were
v
caused directly by punctures,
blowouts and skidding due fa smooth, worn, unsafe tiresl
Left /» «
l^/t it a lection cut from
tmooth, worn tire,
with non-tkid prelection
worn o/. Tiret in thh
condition are liable to
sg«rw ViretianeTire. Note
•
th e th ic k , n o n -lk id
p r o t e c t i o n a g n in i!
blow oah a n d pane tar et.
Come in and tee a
demontlrathn.
Dynamic
? " •askar.
«39«
<AJWV TH E
F fPESTONE
CAMPAIGN T O D A Y !
f t restone
T R I P L l-S A T t T IP I S
m the V o le.
Flrem m . featuring
S l e a l i M on d o, « m in « ,
No. Io n .rid . N . B. C . R M Network