“ - * • “ ’ STRUNK WAS THE GOAT
That
Hollow Tooth
By C L Y D E A R N O L D
That Paul Chatterton, wealthy, and
to be richer still, should wish to be
natural, but that he should take the
course In dentistry and plan to set up
In the profession was an enigma to
his friends and a source of vexation
to his widowed mother.
“I wouldn't say anything about law
or surgery,“ she would argue. “I
wouldn't mind even If you were a
naturalist and went poking about
after snakes and bugs
I f you bad
graduated as a philosopher I think 1
could have stood IL but dentistry.
Paul— dentistry t “
"M y dear mother, wkgre would you
have got the half dosen false teeth in
your mouth but for dentistry?" he
would reply. “W e must have teeth
of some sort. W e must chew our
food. The world suffers more or less
with toothache; we must cure it. The
dentist brings alleviation; be helps
to preserve our good looks."
“But society. Paul!"
“I know that there are very few
dentists in society. Society doesn't
invite him to its dinners and recep
tions because he alone knows how-
many false teeth It has. It would be
a funny gathering of the four hundred
If all the dentists were to shut up
shop!"
“But when one thinks of the dentist
he thinks of the chiropodist.“
“Quite right, my dear mater. You
went to the chiropodist the other day
and had two corns removed. Your
graceful gait has thereby been re-
stored. He is a benefactor to human-
“ No, air. I want
tla t"
“Oh. Case of toothache?“
“The w o n t klud. I've had it two
days and nights. Mv Jaw ta all swol CACHELOR NO LONGER IS A ID OP
len vyi.
Mother was coming with
M A R R IED FRIENDS.
me, but acme company came at the
last moment.'
The dentist tried to get a better
look at the girl beaide him. He liked He Finds That for Years Their Wlvea
the voice, and he Itked the half of
Have Been Taught to Blame Him
the face he could Juat make o u t He
fo r Leading Huabanda
was also pleased with the Jaunty hat
Aatray.
and the brown hair under It.
"W ill you go to Dentist Roberta?“
A bachelor living Juat off Times
* *
they P ^ ^ e d e d at a alow «quare, New y ork~_wbo
, hall b<
MONSTER OF THE DEEP SEA ONE BROILER WAS MISSING
Some Strange Living Creatures That Rastua Couldn’t Beer to See Thin-
Inhabit the Dark Abyaaaa of
teen at Table, So He Re
the Ooean.
moved One.
The ocean water at depths of a mils
or more is so dense, and Its pressure
is so great, that glass bottles forced
down Into It are crushed to powder
and tubes of metal are twisted and
rtatteued out of shape.
Yet living
creatures Inhabit these den»« and
heavy depths. From the underworld
of the sea. where the pressure Is two
and a half tons to (he square Inch
_ i
»
,
.
„ . ca,led s ,ru "k for anonymity’s sake— the explorers' dredges bring up curi
“J” -
hy’. - * *Unl0' t P“ lle<S
been cur' d of certain Ideas he
ous Ashes, with bodies constructed
* -T i,'
...
bad ot doln* favors for wives of hus- with special reference to this environ
Then to Dentist Brown.
bands afflicted with too much of what
ment of weight.
No. He a savage as a meat-ax. I
often called good fellowship.
He
Their bony and muscular systems
want to go to the new dentist. 1 have - has long been noted among his friends
never seen him, but a girl friend told for his propensity to take care of are not fully developed; the bones are
permeated with pores and Assures
me he had dreamy blue eyes, and married friends when In their cups I The
calcareous matter Is at a mini
that she didn't believe he would hurt
anybody. My brother Sam h a. dreamy , “ d
X n l b ^ hour b° m’
|
, " 7 ,h * b° “ ” ° f ,h t ’ • [ ' • bra*
blue eves and von couldn't m t him I & > 11 B rea8onab,e hour.
are joined together ao lootoljr that the
to kin a ¿y Oh I fo ra it to iav tha L “
‘ hese frie n d s -B a n k . . larger Ashe, often fall «part while
!
.
.
L o ,fi. i x v
s
?"
r
•*
•!• TOE
SCffiAP
BOOK
Colonel Dobson was making hit
usual dally tour of his preserves, In
spectlng the gardens, both Dower nnd
vegetable, and had now come to the
. livestock. As far as the eye could
see everything In the etablea and the
barns waa In ship-shape order, and '
the colonel was somewhat lucllned 1
to compliment Kastus on the general '
condition of matters In his charge,
hut decided to withhold Anal com- I
tuendatlon until the chicken coop had
been Inspected. And here It waa that 1
the only noticeable shortcoming *ns
to be found. A careful count of ihe
In the Hands of a Chinese Barber.
spring broilers showed that there wss
All barbers may not know It, hut
one missing The brood had notched
,
. . . . . . .
.theirs la a business dating back tc
chLa.
. Th*
» ? 7 ‘i ”
,,,b l' cal da> '- and • ’ « b’ yond that
th l ¿ t o ,
r” ‘ rh e Î I Their office I . m.nllonod In Ezekiel
the point where the colonels mouth j j .
watered In anticipation of their Im
"And thou, son of man, take thee a
mediate service upon Ills table Thtae «harp knife, take thee a barber'»
careful counts demonstrated beyond
rator, and causa It to pass upon thins
all question that their number had
heud and upon thy beard."
bern reduced by one Twelve broilers
The average American barber II
and no more were there, and (he col
obliging and anxious to have you fot
onel turned a cold eye upon Rastua.
a steady customer, but In order to un
» ..T o ." “’ h " ’ n lT
brO" era, ber*' 0’ r.tand how obliging a barber really
2.
ee. I * ’ •
* *
T CUt • ran b” ” “ •‘«’«•e.aary to study a Chi
back there in th e h m . . . „ n
h in -i
J ' T aquar* recently. Banka had muscles are all thin, nnd the connec-
“Andl^ny
Paul Chatter on I
y ««*
responsibility and Uva tissue seem almost wanting Yet
I w ill drive T u t o t ^ o ic e of the » ‘ S
,m ™ed,,te,y *>»«»«»»•. He these Ashe, are able to dart about
i will drive you to the office of the had seen Mrs. Banks and had admired and capture their nrev
new dentist. I have heard that he ber „ a woman of beauty an„
, t . / X h e r Intere.
.
i 1 — — auotner
-------- — interesting
fact that
was very careful and sympathetic."
1..................................
intere«
ba~
w h ^ : ‘^
i S
hOW eW ' We” a ^ s ^ B ^ r -
,h-
oce,n
1.200
feet
being
had toothache for two days and
“My wife's In the country. Don't
total darkness-and this necessitates
- V . . "h* * r>
!■>•
n
| nese barber. He begins by carefully
nights!"
you care.”
Ra” “ ' * « h l n , th . victim ', face, ear. and
_
.
.another adaptation of the deep-sea In " J . ? ? , -
“It's awful."
Nevertheless. Strunk, as was h is ! habitants
They
I f ‘ he’ Z ' M ' 7 ? ,WfUlZ i S r terr,bIe, h‘ bl'- <" d
HS lnre" 'led ,he ’ “ ' I «any of these deep-se. Ash have s p t
. , h‘‘ad
*« «• dr | ’ p » |„ n ng warm
Mighty
Ane lot o chicken., C u m ar,b
.II.“
off , be
par W w a
w t.r,
K„ wiping
, we ,
If he should pull my head around er at a cafe to serve an antidote for c|«l organ» u p o n t h e ir
» Id e s
r —■
colL hT
W’ r’ i
Kaa,ua' “ td tha . towel. He then shaves the head, oi
s’hould f X ' a w 'a V 'h “ 1' * kn° W * I then F h.’ d* £,“ 7 “ “ *' ff
h * 7 7
he,u!*
kB<,WD to
.... * '
Y-
I rather around the crown where the
» 1
. w
th
had b,ack coffee brought for- luminous quality
„ „ J * hdr
7
! "
i
b»«‘ nB commencing right ove.
. But he won t do th a t
' ward. By the early hour of 11 o'clock ; oue of the la r v e s t o f th e » « .te e n -
U.^ b*r,,7 Uh'M " ? d ' 7 " d 1d , ? y' , I ">c right ear and moving along until
I f you know him won't you speak responsibility was again b a n n in g to
torch bearer» Is a Ash M x T l I t
W ell, said the colonel. Incisively, (he forehead snd lower part of ths
to him? Tell him It's ached two days perch on the shoulders of Banks. SuJ- , i„ng with a tall dorsal
An extending
and nights. Tell him that when I denly he started.
d
. ii
»
e.
. . . back bead are cleaned.
nearly the entire length of the body
Z T .W
7
• - • - Connell.“ | He n„ t
, ,o , he face and
tried to get to sleep I dreamed of
"W hat day's thia?” he asked.
Along
the
sides
of
the
body
Is
a
atammered
tha
old
man
"Ah
wanted
af„ rward ,o , ba neck. Tha eara a „
dragons.
T ell him that mamma
"Thursday," answered 8trunk.
double row of luminous scales. One to aav. d .t air brood foh you table. , haved and rarefully bnlah. d ou, wl(b
doesn't seem to think It's anything
“Cee-w hllllkens." gasped Banks. “1
sub an when I done remember .oh | drtJcat. bniahea and ,n([anloua , natru.
great, and that brother Sam poked forgot My wife was to get In on the of the most ferocious of these deep-
Tha „
ne,.k
h, ad a r,
fun at me. He said the dentist would nine o'clock train and 1 was to meet sea forms has a mouth full of teoth d .t IS am • onlocky nun.bah .uh. . o '
found
dem,1
3
broiler,
«.setting
down
th,.n
wa,
bed
and
lb . , „ tD
that
protrude
In
a
most
formidable
yank my head this way and th a t her."
manner. The Ans are all tipped with to delr tables s-eatln togeddah suhij aaaum,.a , bvallhy plnk
You tell the new dentist all about It.
“W ell, I guess she's home all right," Aamlng spots, while along the dorsal Ah Jess coitldnli set dsh mahself snd
won't you?"
The next operation la to manipulât«
said Strunk comfortingly.
e deni takln' no chances, so I Jess the head and neck till every cord and
surface extends a row of spots that
“I will, and here we are at his of-
"Home?" gasped Banks. "The house
appear like so many windows through done removed one , ob , 'em. sub."
muscle has been stretched, pinched
Oce. I'll go right up with you."
Is boarded up and I've got the keya which light Is shining.
"Did you kill It
demanded tha and punedj
which tha shoulders.
Miss Lottie Morton was so taken and her folks are all out of town."
colonel.
I The little Ashes called "Bombay
I arms and bark are sclentlAcally pound
up with her toothache that she
S tru n k was a man of action.
,
He ducks" are luminous over their entire
“W uh—well, Connell, ah u - * 7 ? ! ed and Pu,*«d- The queue Is then un
thought nothing of his unlocking the
,
tTi *Cab aDd ,heX were «urface. and when number, » r e c o l his neck, suh, and nacherlly he
died,' braided, combed and cleaned, and
office door and changing the signs. ^ “t Er|gh” to .
In
t" ,h e | ,ec‘ ad ‘ 0F“ ther
present an a . said Rastua.
again braided and put In place.
It was onlj when she had climbed eevera^D artlea atm
L ?
“ J tonl.hlng spectacle. Another apecles
"And what then?" persisted tha
Occasionally, when a barber desires
into the chair and he had removed
colonel.
-L
* . an<* d tha* 1 can
to show great attention to a dlstln
the bandage from her Jaw that she the chauffeur Anally slowed up Strunk
"Wuh— well. Cunnell." said the old gutshed customer, he rubs and pulls
sat up and said:
- x man. with an appealing smile, “yuh his Angers and even hla toes until th«
"W hy, the new dentist— where Is
“ now suh. dey ain't many nt.rgahs as ^ , n u " ^ C “l i ' u “lM t' for” .n hour"
her
..elrnormoua Proportions. would waste a dead chicken, auh. —
L x
“I'm he, and I ’m going to be very should do so and meet h i. family. A . ? d
he went up the step, he said Ingratl- i
*
h
* f r , a t ‘ ra n ,[w r,' nt Harper's Weekly.
gentle and sympathetic.”
Original “Old Glory.**
it
(n . i , .
a
| banoon hanging under the Ash. and
atlngly
"It's so funny."
The American national Aag wai
containing Its prey.
It waa an ulcerated tooth. There
"M y dear, I want you to meet Mr.
named “Old Glory" In 18Sl*by W illiam
W hen Genius Becomes Insanity.
The last expedition sent out by the
waa a hollow for the sir to strike Strunk."
W’hers my eugenic friend goes Driver, a skipper hailing from Salem.
prince of Monaco brought to light
down on a live q,erve. The Jaw was
"Mrs. Banks was really reffned,
some remarkable forma. The dredge wrong Is In falling to realize that a Mass., and captain of the brig Charles
gently bathed for a time, and when freezlngly so.
off Morocco brought up from a depth great many of the maladies which he Doggett. Just before leaving Salem
the tooth wag examined the patient
"I have heard of Mr. Strunk," was
PacIAc ocean, a
of one and a half miles a Aah that rails degeneracy are Juat too much of tor the Southern
was told that nothing could be done a" B*ie said, looking at anything but
speared to be all head or mouth. It the highly developed nervous system young man presented Captain Drivel
until a poultice had reduced the at him. Banks Ashed out his keys and
was of small size, and the length of which la the special endowment of tha with a large and beautifully made
swelling. She must come again in Fave them to her and she entered the
When It was sent
the mouth was about four-fifths of the gifted families, writes J. A. Bpangler American Aag.
three days. As the dentist had no hou«e. Then Banka laughed hysteric
aloft the captain christened It "Old
entire body; so that If the body had In Westminster Gazette.
pressing work on hand, he would act ally. Strunk failed to see any cause
Overcharge the battery ever ao lit- Glory." After retiring from actlva
been se.ered behind the head It and
as chauffeur to get her home safely. for merriment and said so.
two or three like It could have been tie and genius becomes Insanity; give life. Captain Driver settled in N’at.l-
W ith his own hands he replaced the 1 "You’re the goat,” Banks Anally
stowed away In Its capacious pouch. one member of the family a volt too ville, Tenn., In 1837, and the Aag that
bandage, and by the time It had been Puffed o u t "I've been telling her for
It probably moves very slowly, scoop much and the delicate balance of pbya- had accompanied him to the PacIAc
It W as an Ulcerated T eeth.
accomplished he realized that his years that you're the one that gets
ing mud and ooze Into its mouth, sift- leal and mental qualities on which was displayed from the window i f hla
moutn'
words to his mother might come true. I me off the wagon—and now she's sure
sanity depends Is broken down. Ex- home. At the beginning of tha Civil
tty. In curiDg an Ingrowing toe nail
IL was queer about that tooth. It
tlngulsh the fam ily and you will rid war It waa flred upon. Then It was
he may prevent a family quarrel— a wasn't such a big tooth, and you
the world of tome degeneration, but kept out of sight until February 27,
divorce. He brings peace to a house couldn't have put a hickory nut in the
Strunk In the taxicab on his way
you will also and at the same time 1862, when General Nelson appeared
hold.“
hollow, but Miss Lottie had to return back hardened bis heart.
rob It of some of Its most gifted at Nashville with a division of the
No Time to Scold.
The most the young man would again and again. Each time she
| Union army. Captain Driver presented
A western physician has two chil men.
promise was that his sign should sim found the dentist more gentle and
The doctrine of heredity should tha Aag tod the general to ba hoisted
dren. Ernest and Alice, aged nine and
Very Practical Arithmetic.
ply bear the word “Dentist.” The sympathetic. As she related It home,
Recently the never be forgotten by parents or re- on the capltol. After the war tha
Mental arithmetic on a melting day eleven, respectively.
sacred name of Chatterton should not not one single "yank" had he ever
To the Arst original "Old Olory" waa carctolly
- a n d while the cool river gleamed .<* ? tO,r * ' ? h'’ W,lf’ 7 * 7 * week* nd membered by children.
■wing In the breeze for the public to given her brown head. And the den
tantalizlngly from the schoolroom win 1 P . ? ° cou“ ,7 ’ learln’ tha «Wi It la the assertion of their responslbll- treasured. And on the death of the
stare a t
He also partly promised tist got In the habit of calling at the
dow! No wonder that small mIndl, | dren at home wlth the iervants. They Ity; to the second a reminder of their captain In March 1886, the Aag was
that If he came to like anything bet- house on the hill to see If the tooth
helplessness.
presented by the compiled of the “D ri
ter than dentistry after a trial he was all right, and the widowed moth grew confused under the strain, an d 1 * * * * l° returc MondaJ’ nl«h< °n
ver Memoir" to (he Essox Institute at
train due at 10 o’clock. The children
would give up the tooth business. He er happened to have a lady friend small calculators calculated with even
Salem. Masa, where it la now secure
wanted to meet them at the depot, and
When
Bleeping.
smaller
success.
could have furnished parlors In the who knew all about him, and so one
ly Eept
of
course
received
very
deflnlte
In
It
Is
well
to
sleep
from
Infancy
with
“Now, boys.” said the Jovial dom
city, but to the Joy of the mother he day when the young man entered the
structions not to do so.
the head uncovered, aa the hair thus
went 20 miles afield and hung out his mother's presence and saw that she inie, who was himself aching for a
Mystic Number.
When the parents arrived at 11:30, retains Its beauty longer. On retir
sign In a suburban village.
was about to begin on the same old swim, “here’s your last problem today.
Nine Is the mystic numbar of the
their train being an hour and a half ing the hair should be raised high
I f there were any aching teeth, or subject, he forestalled her by saying: See If any of you can get It rig h t
late, they were surprised to And Er above the ears, without pulling, plait Orient and also of the ancient Greeks.
teeth to be Ailed or extracted, the vic
“Mater mine, I promised to give up Suppose I have a piece of beefsteak."
nest and Alice waiting for them, and ed loosely In a single braid and tlad It la a trin ity of trinities. According
tim fought shy of the new dentist. dentistry when I found something
The joys supposed It obediently.
all alone. The mother rushed forword with a silk or cotton ribbon. Avoid to Pythagoras nine represents the
He had parlors over a bank, and he better. I have found i t That Is, I
"And suppose I cut it Into sixteen
deity. . Milton „ writes , of the . nine „ enfold-
had a beautiful gold sign. He had a have if she w ill say yes. She Is my parts. W hat would you call those to expostulate, but was cut off by the wearing starched nightcaps, as th e , .
shrill voice of Alice crying, "Hurry starch is Injurious to the hair. When | 7 . . apha^ ’._Maca.u,ay„ ? akM Por“ na
dog and gun and took long walks over Arst, last and best customer, and I pieces?”
up, mother. Don't stop to talk. The old age approaches It may be veil swear by nine gods. The nagaa or sa
the country. There was good Ashing want to take you down there tomor
"Sixteenths!" piped ■ dozen voices.
cred a»rpents of India are nine. Mil-
taxi's
up to 17.60 already!"— Harpers to wear nightcaps.
and he Ashed. There was good row row to call on her.”
"Right!” exclaimed the dominie,
ton aaya the gates of Hades are thrice
Magazine.
Brush the hair well, using a soft
ing and he rowed. The sign of; “Out
“And uppose each of these pieces
threefold, and that the fallen angels
brush, on going to be<P and In tbs
— Back in a Few Mlnutee” was on his
were
cut
again
into
four
pieces,
what
The Babel of Hooters.
morning. The best brusbea are made were nine days falling, and so waa
door oftener than the “Come Right
would they be?"
The Gallant CoratfciondenL
Vulcan when he was kicked out of
London la Intolerable, not only by
If the hair Is
In.” Three months passed and Mr.
A dead, awful silence reigned, while
Mme. Sarah Bernhardt In an Inter with short bristles.
heaven. There are nine crowns In
Paul Chatterton had not had a pa day, but by night also, on account of the small brains worked desperately. view In Reno, praised her Reno audi combed from the roots downward
heraldry-
There
Its
babel
of
motor
warning
sounds.
As
without
being
divided
In
several
parts,
.
. . era
. nine
, , marks
.
. of ca-
„
tie n t
Indeed, though, he had had
Suddenly a hand was held up, and one ences.
much harm may be done to I t The 7 . n7 . \ T i.- b ^ ra. b7 n?“ ’ h<ad*' ”
Just one, or come very near i t The we previously urged, there should be of the lightning calculators cried;
"They
are
the
most
brilliant
and
the
we And nine green peas In a peapod
respectable lady of a scrub-woman for a standard warning, and this warning
"Hash!"
most Intelligent,” she said, "that you halrs would certainly be broken off, It Is lucky.
Nine buttons are
a
become
uneven
and
could
never
be
the bank had come upstairs one day should not be unnecessarily sounded.
can Imagine. The women's Jewels
sli.n of official rank In China. Nine
to tell him that her married daughter As It is, there are hundreds of horns
made
to
look
cared
for.
It
la
an
excel
glittered, and the men's -vlt shone."
tailors make a man, and a cat has
A Bitter Controversy,
out in Nebraska had written her that on the motor vehicles In London which
lent thing to smooth the balr with tha
Mme. Bernhardt laughed gaily.
nine lives. Erasmus says the proper
send
forth
bd
irritating
blare,
the
note
The
Shakespeare-Bacon
controversy
her little boy had toothache of the
“O” e of these men was presented to hands.
number tor a dinner party Is not less
severest kind, and would he. the of which may be included anywhere formed the subject of debate at a well me,” she said, 'between the acts. He
than three nor more than nine.
dentist tell her free of charge what in a range of a couple of octaves. On known theatrical school not long ago. had been, by-tbe-way, corespondent
W h istlin g Stim ulated Hla Courage.
would cure It? He would. He even one vehicle there la the top note like On both sides the orators were would
W histling “ Horae, Sweet Home.” as
In eight suits. W ell, bis compliments
Tallest of Trass.
went so far as to give her 10 cents to a cornet, on another there la the mid be actresses, and pro and con the dis
substitute tor an anesthetic was
were so glowing that at last I cried:
In New South Wales, Victoria and
buy peppermint essence to send out to dle note like a clarinet and on a third cussion was feminine and furious. It
tried
at
Clayton
when
Dr.
O.
W.
Snod
"But,
monsieur,
remember,
I
am
66
Tasmania, grows a species of gum
there la the low note like a bassoon, seemed at Arst that the ardent parti
the sufferer.
years old!"
grass probed for a .22 caliber bullet In tree, which probably represents the
However, all things come to him and so on. Then there Is the Aendlsh sanship of the fair opponents would
” ‘Ma-iarae," he replied, 'to me you the back of Perry Ritchie. 11 years tallest of all trees of the globe. Tlie
who waits, whether he is a statesman device by which the exhaust actuates preclude the possibility of harmonious
are Just 23. For I, seared as I am by old, who was shot accidentally by hla loftiest specimen of this tree yet
or dentist A patient came to Mr. a »creaming siren or succession of conclusion; but the last speaker, in
scandal, am too charitable ever to companion, Edward Toy, while hunt measured towers to the holght of 471
Paul Chatterton. He was out with notes or even an attempt to produce the nervousness of her Arat public
believe more than half what I hear.’ ’’ ing In the woods near their homes at feet. A prostrate tree, measured tn
Ashing rod one day, a mile or more a chord. Thia confusion and multi speech, suggested common ground.
Spring Avenue Heights
plicity
of
sounds
to
gain
a
common
Vlctosla, waa 420 feet long and the
"Indies,"
she
said,
speaking
rapid
from town, and on his way back to
When asked to "keep up his nerve" distance from the roots to the lowest
change that sign to: “Come Right In,” and a humane end is completely Il ly, “I think there has been much
Girls and Ball.
the boy started to whistle the refrain. branch was 295 feet. At that point
when he heard an auto coming up logical and irritatin g beyond measure. misapprehension as to the real truth
John J. McGraw, ht a baseball ban I t was necessary to repeat the chorus
behind him and then a woman's We protest against this outrage upon of the Baconian theory. I stand ready quet In Fltlaburg, said of a baseball several times before Dr. Snodgrass the trunk was four feet In diameter
and 360 feet from the butt the diame
screams. As he wheeled about the the human endurance, thrust upon It to- show that the great playa we man:
succeeded In extracting the bullet. ter waa still three feet. Tha wooij of
machine ran across the road and Into not only by day, but in what should know so well were written not by
“Hla Ignorance of ball la astonish The accident occurred the other morn
this tree Is hard and of good quality.
a bank. The dentist ran back to And be the resting hours of the night. Shakespeare or by Bacon, but by Ba ing. It Is as bad as a girl's.
ing Just after the Toy youth shot It growB quickly, and yields a great
a girl with her Jaw tied up. He There can be no question of the real con and Shakespeare In collision!"
"A girl once said to me:
and killed an owl. Young Ritchey ran quantity of volatile oil from Its leaves,
Amid laughter and applause the de
couldn’t be aure whether she was an ity of the evil, and our authorities
” 'I adore baseball. I have a broth to pick up the bird and was stooping
which are very abundant.
old maid or a fair young girl, but she must be pressed to eradicate It. There bate waa declared a tie.
er, you know, who plays on the Yale over when Toy frlpped and fell. Tha
was In distress, and that was enough. is distinct medical testimony as to its
team.’
rifle
was
discharged
and
the
bullet
W ire Mileage In United States.
As for the chauffeur, there was no possible effects; and the evil could be
Knows How to Use IL
’“ W hat does he play?’ said L
plowed a furrow four Inches long In
doubt about him. He waa a young materially reduced, it seems to us, by
The annual report of the American
Man with the squint— Have you any
"She hesitated.
the boy's back. The wound Is not se
enforcing
a
standard
method
of
warn
Telephone and Telegraph company
man. H e was even too much Intoxi
safety appliances on your auto?
” ‘W ell,’ she said, 'I forget Just tor rious.— St. Louis Globe-Democrat
cated to talk. H e was taken by the ing and preventing the superfluous
tor last year says that 1,200,000 mile«
Man with the goggles— Yes, there’s the moment, whether he’s a foul tip or
back of the neck and lifted down and use of the "hooter."— The Lancet
of w ire were added to the lines, m ak
a speedometer— the little Jlgmaree, a high fly.’ ’’
Devoted to Duty.
deposited on the grass, and then the
ing a total mileage of 12,000,000. SQmo
you know, that tells how fast you’re
"Are you ever coming to bed?" he Idea of what thia total means may he
dentist took his seat, backed the ma
H a b it
going. T h a t’s saved me many a fine.
Incomplete.
chine Into the road and asked:
called out.
grasped when we calculate that thia
"There’s no use talking," said M r.
“There’s nothing In my play
to
"I don’t know," she replied. "I prom -' length of wire could be wrapped
“Am I right in thinking you were
8ta.X\ ? h7 C°,:POratlOn 01 ° Ur*
Their CIssslAcstlon.
bring a blush In anybody's cheek," ised Mrs. Jones that I ’d keep track of around the earth 600 times and that It
bound for the village?"
“HowV wBl y o T w about it?"
"W hat d° 7° U ,h ," k ° f the
said the author.
her husband while she Is away, and would make 50 separate lines from the
“Yes, sir," answered a girl's voice.
How will you go about It?
f Inventions you ree at Washington?’’
“W ell,” replied the producer, "bring ' i - m going to know what time he earth to the moon, but there would
"Then I w ill see you safely there
" I don’t know. The only way I ,
>
,
« . j,
I
.vi
« * 1
That many of them are patent ab- the manuscript around when you get comes home, If I have to stay up not be half enough wire to reach from
Your chauffeur Is not exactly «fell. know of to dissolve things Is to keep aurd| tjea >•
It finished.
I all n ig h t”
.th e earth to our nearest planetary
putting water Into them."
|
W ill It be to the depot r
I “ 7 . M ? r“lle7-
I
neighbor. Venus.
x