THEIR OWN POLE.
S e r io u s
Sits
W om en
I t K n n S e h e d M ore F un th a n If I t Had
Hern Htulen,
N« Uss (or Threw««.
Napoleon Bonaparte Is quoted as say«
fug to Dr. O’Meara at Ht. Helena: ”Ii
I was In Kugluud now, ami the Fran uh
nation was to offer me the throat
again, I would not accept It, because If
I was to do so 1 would 1st obliged to
turn houman (executioner), I would
1st obliged to cut off the heads of thous
ands to keep myself upon it, which
would not be pleasant to me. Oceaus
of blood must lie shed to keep me there.
No, no; I hsve mad* enough of noise
I I ready lu the world; |ierhapH more
than sny other mau will make; iierhujis
loo much. 1 am getting old, mu <I only
want retirement. What could I do it,
France?
Alone, to set myself against
all the (lowers of Europe.
Maduessl”
—Century.
Five wicked students were In a bar-
bar’s shop getting their hair cut aud
parted In the middle. All this took to
quite late lu the night, aud then oue of
them said:
"Barber, what will you take for your
sign pole?"
"Ten dollars,” replied the artist,
smilingly.
"Here Is your money," said the stu
dent, who was a member of the win
The d e ra n g e m e n ts o f
ning football team that season, and so
the fe m a le o rg a n is m th a t
had only to write home nt any time
b r e e d a ll k in d s o f tro u b le
for a check. "Slgu this.” and he drew i
a n d w h ich o rd in a r y p r a o -
up a bill of sale.
"Boys, help me
tteo does n o t o u ro , a r e th e
home with my load.” And the little
v a ry th in g s th a t g iv e w a y
eavaleade went down the dimly-light
« In ly T w o C e n te r « In t h e U n iv e r s e .
p ro m p tly to Lydte E . P in k -
HE railway passenger station
The door la-11 rang, ami In a moment ed street with the singular burden up
There are but two centers in tile uni
h a m ’s V e g e ta b le C o m -
s a mass of people. Cheers the fumlllar voice of Judson was In on their shoulders.
verse, tied and self.
We recognize
“HI. there!” yelled a policeman, either tile one or the other of thtme as
and sobs, smiles and tears, were quiring for ’Gene.
pound.
mingled and merged Into the scenes of
‘ Tell him to hurry; the girls are whom they hud tried to pass slyly, the center alsiut which all things re
U t e r i n e a n d o v a r i a n the
“what are you doing with that bar volve aud towards which all things are
last minute. One of Chicago’s vol
to see him.”
tro u b le s , k id n e y tro u b le s , unteer r< glments was leaving for the crazy
ber's
pole?”
drawn, ill our existence.
In the one
In a few moments he was undergoing
u lc e ra tio n s , tu m o rs , un frout. A blaze of Soldiery, a fever of a counterfeited enjoyment of greetings, “That Is our business," grimly re case we consider our neighbor, the
u s u a l d is c h a rg e s , b a c k patriotism, and ten thousand people and took his place beside a young lady plied the footbnll player.
world, our interests, our duties, ami
“It Is also mine,” rejoined the police our pleasures, in their relation to God,
ac h es a n d p a in fu l p e rio d s had transformed the station Into a tur whom he could see but dimly. She had man.
“Come with me to the station, uud in God’s relation to them. In 'In
- th o s e a r e th o Ills th at bulent sea with waves of unrestrained been presented to him as Miss HurtV aud bring that pole with you.”
other case we consider all these things
Between the inspiring strains | man. The conversation naturally drift
h an g on a n d w r e o k h e a lth emotion.
"We cannot afford to carry It away in their relation to self, slid the rela
of patriotic airs and the rattliug of e«l to the war, but It was with u notice
a n d h a p p in e s s a n d d is drums, shouts of encouragement were able effort that ’Geue was Induced tc from Its proper destination,” said on« tion of self to them. How is it lu
of the students.
p o s itio n .
your case?—S. 8. Times.
pouring from the meguphoued mouths participate In the discussion.
"Never mind,” growled the police-
of the multitude.
“And you have been with th e ---- Illi
H ow P o lly K n o w .
Lydla E. Ptnkham’* Vegetable Compound
"Kemember the Maine!” thundered a nois, Mr. Brockway?” said Miss Hurd ntnn. “I’ll get It there," anil he sum- j A “ liefo’-de-war” matron was teach
moned
help,
and
conducted
the
whole
man whose appreciation for the eternal man, plunging Into the subject very
ing one of the little darkies on her
procession to the police station.
h a s a w o n d e rfu l r e c o r d titness of things is more to be admired near her heart.
The primer
"Boys,” snhl the sergeant, after the, plantation how to s|iell.
o f a b s o lu te c u r e s o f th ese than his originality.
"Yes, I started with the boys,"
she used was a pictorial one, and over
had
ranged
themselves
In
front
of
Instantly a thousand voices took up growled the soldier.
tr o u b le s — a o o n s ta n t
him, "I'm sorry, but ttils'blt of fun will euuh word was its accompanying pict
the
refrain, which euded dual
“How stiauge; I had n very dear
ure, and Polly glibly s|ielle<l “o-x, o x ,’*
s e r ie s o f s u c c e s s e s fo r ly in uucouth
an uproar.
friend with that regiment. I bad known cost you $"> apiece.”
and "b-o-x, box,” etc. lint the teach
th ir t y y e a r s . Thousands
“Perhaps
before
we
are
fined,
you
“Kill every bloody Spaniard you see!” him but a short time,” she continued,
thought she was making too rapid
o f w om en vo u ch f o r th is . added a young man, whose appearance with a cone aled smile, “but 1 bad be would like to look nt this strip of pa er
progress, so she put her hand over the
per?”
Inquired
the
ball
kicker.
T h e ir te tte rs c o n s ta n tly gave no token of the vicious lujuuctiou. come very much attached to him, and
"Why,” exclaimed tbe sergeant, picture uud said: “ Polly, what does
An old fellow with a copper button j the thought of his being so far from
a p p e a r In th is p a p e r .
“ O x,” answered Polly,
rending
the bill of snle, "here Is au o-x spell?”
in the lapel of his coat hobbled through home aud the object of Spanish treach
nimbly. "How do you know that it
awkward
nilstnke.
This
Is
your
pole."
I m it a t io n o f C h r is t.
the throng, flourishing his cane in the ery has given me an Interest In the war
“Seed his ta il,”
"We bnd thought so,” meekly replied spells ox, Polly?”
The true imitation of Christ lies not air with little consideration for the which otherwise I would never have
replied the apt Polly.—Argousut.
the
student.
In a mere copying of the outward de comfort of bis countrymen.
felt.”
T h e M m all-M ln<te<l M a n .
"Young men,” said the sergennt,
tails of his life, but in the possession
The clang of the bell gave notice that
The tender and sincere manner of
“ W ell,” said the small minded man,
and outworking of the spirit which little time remained for the tlual fare Miss Hurdmau in referring to her "you are discharged. Officer, go back
“ 1 have found out another woman’s
dwelt in Him .—Baptist Union.
wells. Wives, mothers and sweethearts friend appealed rather strangely to to your beat.”
age.”
"Will
you
kindly
Instruct
him
to
take
were clinging about the necks of the de young Brockway, and he brightened
S H A R K IN T O Y O V K S H O E S
“ How did you do it?” asked the
parting soldiers, aud, amid the tumult, j somewhat as he quizzed his clever the pole where he got It?” Inquired the
listener.
A l l e n ’s F o o t - E a s e , a p o w d e r fo r t h e f e e t .
student.
I t l i t r e s p a i n f u l , s w o l l e n , s m a r t i n g , n e r v great tears were falling from the eyes charmer as to her soldier boy.
“Certainly.” replied the sergennt, I “ Why, I asked her suddenly how
o u s t e e t . a n d i n s t a n t l y t a k e s t h e s t i n g o u t of the parting friends.
’’Was be a private. Miss Hurdinan?” “that Is your right,” and the stripe«! many years it was since 1873.”
o f c o r n a a n d b u n io n s . I t ’s t h e g r e a t e s t
A witness of all these demonstia-
"Well—yes, I believe so,” she drolled, stick of timber was tugged back again
“ But how did you find out her age?”
c o m f o r t d i s c o v e r y o f t h e a g e . A l l e n ’s F o o t -
tions,
and alone, with no one to cheer feeling her way out of rather a danger
E a s e m a k e s t ig h t o r n e w s h o e s feel e a s y .
“She figured it up by subtracting
by the disgusted myrmidon of the law.
I t i s a c e r t a in c u r e f o r I n g r o w in g N a i l s , him or to say good-by, was a silent ous corner of the conversation, "but
five
from 32 before she thought.” —In
The
students
again
shouldered
their
s w e a t i n g , c a l l o u s a n d h o t , t ir e d , a c h i n g young soldier, who stood lost lu reverie. j was it really true that you had nothing
tapering load and started down anoth dianapolis Press.
feet.
W e h a v e o v e r 3 0 .0 0 0 t e s t i m o n i a l s .
looked scarce more than a boy, 1 to eat but bad beef, which made you er street. They soon met another po-'
T r y it to d a y . S o ld b y a ll d r u g g i s t s a n d He
An artisan in Lyons, France, lias
sh o e sto res
B y m a il f o r 25c. in s t a m p s . with a proud ml itary bearing and a s!ck?” she added, seeking, with some
llceman. This time they did not at constructed a clock with a little plat
T r ia l p a c k a g e F R E E .
A d d r e s s , A l l e n 8 . handsome face.
While his comrades adroitness, to generalize a hit.
tempt nny evasion.
O l m s t e d , I.e R o y , N . Y .
w ere blddh their last adieus, he stood
"Our provisions were served a la j "Wbat’re ye doin’ with that beam o’ form aud two disirways just under the
dial. Gn the stroke of every hour the
T w o S id e s o f T h is Q u e s tio n .
as if transfixed to the platform, but carte,” Joked Brockway, “but not with
figure of a soldier comes out of the
Since the United States has cast grave suddenly he loo.ed about an.I ex the pomp, perhaps, of our Chicago Del- wood?” shouted the officer.
“Our business,” sang the boys.
doorway, stands for a moment tietween
doubts on the safety of German toys, claimed:
monicos. But your friend, has he le
“Your
business seems to be the thief the two doors, gives a military salute,
etc., says the Indianapolis News, Ger
"Won’t somebody kiss me good-by?” turned to the States?’”
business,” said tbe officer.
“Come aud then fires a miuature pistol.
At
many has discovered that tariff dis
Before lie could escape a pair of arms
"No—that is. not that he has told me. with me to the station.”
the
hour
of
<<ue
there
is
one
report;
at
crimination is no child’s play.
were thrown around Ids neck from be It has been so long since I have re
"We will not carry the pole.” said the hour of six, six reports, etc.
hind.
and
as
be
turned
he
caught
a
ceivcd any news from the company the students; "but If you want to,
M others w ill find M rs. W in slo w ’s S o o th
ing S y ru p th e best rem ed y to use fo r th e ir j w a r m k is s squarely o n th e lip s, a u d a that I am getting much alarmed. And we'll swear not to run for It.”
ch ild ren d u rin g th e te e th in g perio d .
s o f t v o ice w h is p e re d : " B e a g o o d boy had you no cream for your coffee, aud
The officer believed them after they
It’s aliout as hard for some men to and come home again!”
did you often sleep out of doors all had repented It In Latin, and being a
lu another instant the savior had night, Mr. Brockway, by tbe banks of large, strong man from the Tipperary
collect their senses as it is to collect a
! gone, but as the train moved out a rivers where crocodiles and things were regions, just about managed It.
bill of them.—Chicago Daily News.
He
dainty white handkerchief was waved crawling and swimming around?” ram was soon before tbe same sergeant
C arter*« I n k In t h e B e a t I n k
j In the crowd—and for him.
bled Miss Hurduiuu, with embarrassed mentioned above.
m a d e , b u t n o d e a r e r th a n th e p o o r e st. H a t
I f yon h a v e n 't a re g u la r, h e a lth y m o v e m e n t o f th e
The vision—the sweet face, the burn desperation.
t h e l a r g e s t » a le o f a n y in k in t h e w o r ld .
“It’s their pole,” shouted the ser bowel«
e v e ry d a y . yon re alck. or w ill be K ee p y o u r
open, an d be w ell- Force. In th e «hain) o f
ing of the kiss on his lips, and the ten
"The heat and swamps of Cuba were geant, ns soon ns he saw them. “Take v bowela
io le n t pbyalc o r p ill polaon. I« dang erou
s. T h e
wroua.
S m o k in g b y B o y « .
der admonition to “be a good boy and our deadliest enemies, Misz Hurdman. It bnck where you got I t”
•m o o U ie s t. eaaleat. m u tt p e r fe c t w ay or keeping the
bowels
c
le
a
r
au
d
c
le
a
n
la
to
ta
k
e
The Japanese house of representa come home again”—followed Eugene but what was the name of your friend
“Why didn’t you tell me?” grumbled
tives has passed a prof>osal to prohibit Brockway to Springfield. It broke camp and of what company was he a mem
the
officer, between breaths, on the
CANDY
boys below the age of 20 from smoking. with him when they were ordered ber? Perhaps I may know something
way back.
C A T H A R T IC
I do n o t believe P iso ’s C ure for C o n su m p South and embarked with him when of him---- ”
“You uald we were thieves, and how
tio n h as an equal for coughs an d co ld s.— on the transports which carried the
“Are you folks still talking war?” ex could you believe tlilevt-s on a ques
J o h n F. B o y k r . T rin ity S prings, In d ., Feb. regiment to Cuba.
In his dreams the claimed Judson, whose previous atten tion of property?” replied the students.
16, 1900,
___________________
VW A O I MAAN M W SVSASO
girl was sure to present herself, and tions bad been so absorlted that he was And they started once more for home.
Two hnndred thousand acres in Chi when the fever took possession of his not aware how his timely Interruption
Again and again they were escorted
huahua, Mexico have been bought for reason tbe boys heard him say:
had saved the day for Maime.
to headquarters, until they began to
400 colonists from Missouri.
“Be a good boy and come home
“I must tell you a good Joke on feel quite well acquainted with the
P * ! ‘ u b >e - ’• o w n t .T s .t s Q p o r t . D o G ood.
N e v e r S ic k e n . W e a k e n , or G rip e . 10c.
W)c W r it s
again!”
H e a d a c h e T ills M o r n in g ?
’Gene,” continued Judson. “It conies sergeant
fo
r
f
r
e
e
«
am
ple, an d b o oklet on h e a lth . A d d r e te
T en c e n ts , a fter e a tin g to o m u c h , d r in k in g
After
a
year’s
struggle
with
war
and
from h 8 own comrades, girls, so 1
S«v T«rk. SMa
The sixth or seventh policeman they S U rll., SM ,« r I . « . « . 7 ,
to o m u c h , w ill p rev en t th a t m o r n in g to rtu re.
C arry a b o x o f C aacarets in you r p ock et. D ru g i the elements of the tropical island know It must be true. When he was met waa a smallish man, and they
g ists, 10c, 25c, 50c.
I Brockway was retut nt d to Chicago, sick and out of his head In the army took particular pains with him. They
Scientists are recommending the haggard and weak from the privations hospital the only thing he ever said yelled, whistled, sang "Good-night,
electric light hath. It is free from the and hardships of the Cuban campaign. was, "Be a good boy and come boms Ladles,” and marched four times
PORTLAND DIRECTORY.
exhausting effects of Turkish baths, One thought remained uppermost In his again.”
around him In solemn procession. He
.M a c h in e r y n in i H u p p lle « .
“Well, any fellow's mother would tell simply thanked them for the entertain
and is soothing to sore muscles and mind. His deeds of daring and bravery
Joints.
while In the trenches of Santiago, his him that,” laughed Brockway.
ment.
CAWHTON A CO.; KNGINKH, HOI I.KBS, MA-
clim ery , supplies. 4H-60 F ir stH i.. P o r tla n d . Or.
praises sounded In the home papers,
The thrill which swept through one
“Why don’t you arrest us?” one of
and his new commission as lieutenant of the hearts In the carriage at that mo them cried.
JO H N PO O LE,
P o r t l a n d , O r k o o i »,
were entirely forgotten In his quiet ment was known to Maline Ilurdtnan
“There’s been a general alarm sent can give you th e best, bargain.1« In g en e ral
learch for the pretty and plump little alone. "Could It be possible that this all over the city,” replied the peace- m a ch in e ry , en g in es, boilers, ta n k s, p u m p s,
piow s. b elts a n d w in d m ills. T b e new
A p o sta l a d d r e sse d to P. O. B ox 41, P o r tla n d , maiden whose kindliness had complete was the fellow,” she thought; “and still preserver, “to the effect that If we met steel I X L w in d m ill, sold by h im , is u n
O regon, w ill b rin g y o u a h a n d so m e K o -N u t ly disturbed his peace of ntlnd.
these were the very words I used,” and five min wid a pole, don’t mollst’ em, equalled.
Cook B ook . K o -N u t is (h e la te st lard s u b s ti
In a comfortable and happy home In she secretly wished that he might be as they're harmless lunatics on de way
tu te ; a n d p u rer, c h e a p e r a n d m o re e c o n o m ic a l.
S K t t T lK I I (>K
jne of the suburbs the movements of •
When she spoke she leaned lovlng- to the asylum to start a barber's shop
EE R E F U N D E D .
For Sale by all Grocers.
’B len t a d v e r tise d fr e s.
certain Illinois regiment bad been *
to the shoulder of tbe young man by there.”—Weekly Telegraph.
F
r
e e a o v i c e a s to p a -
uncommon interest to Malme Hun,
r side and softly whispered in bis
t e n t a b i l l V, Hend for " I n v e n t o r s ’T r lm e r .”
E'
,
M
I
L
O
B
.
8
T E V V N * A. C O .,
man. She followed the campaign of the ear:
M o a t C u rio u s C h a r it y .
K stab. 1864. HIT 1 4 t h A t ., W a s h in g to n , D.*Q.
Infantry In Cuba with a consuming rel
“ ’Gene Brockway, your mother nev
One of the most curious charities In B ranch Ottlees: C h ica g o , C le v e la n d , D etro it.
ish. She scrutinized tbe printed lists er told you that. It was I.”
Surrey has Just been distributed In the
)f casualties and refused to believe
A double wedding took place that village of Wotton, In 1718 a resident
¡hat death was able to overcome the fall, for ’Gene begged the privilege named William Glarvllle died, leaving
rugged lad she had Jokingly clasped in from his friend Horace, who was to a will which directed that he should “
2&.e,Vr *ne which
<*ure each and «very
m . NO CARR known it has ever felled to cure, no
her arms, and who, In return, had car marry Zella Raymond, the fourth mem be burled In the churchyard “six yards m m atter
how Mrlotia or of how long utanding. Iteaulto
ried away her heart with neither her ber of the happy driving party which underground,” and that 40 shillings from ita u n w ill aatontih you. I t la ahaolutely aafe.
To fo lly Introduce oar F a m o u s •••O U T H B R W
B E L L E C IO ARB** we giv« to each person buying ronsent nor hint of where he might be attended tbe reception.—Chicago Times- apiece should be paid annually to five
a box of 80 ci<ara for $2.60 and express charges, an elegant
ticket plate case, stem wind, stem set, open face W a t c h ,
_, _ Plpt of price, by
tound in the future.
poor boys of the parish, who, on the
Herald.
American make, which with proper care should last
Several weeks after his return Lieu
anniversary of his death, with their
lor years; also a plated watch chain and charm , fiend us
four name and fu ll address—no money. W e w ill send
hands laid on his gravestone, should re
R e g ic id e s ’ C a v e .
felgarn. watch, chain and charm. If . after exam ination, you tenant Brockway received an invitation
satisfled^ pay your agent S’2.64) and express charges.
io
a
reception
he
was
disposed
to
de-
peat
by heart the Lord’s prayer, the
After
the
execution
of
Charles
I.
and
ise goods sen t any where in t n e U .f i. at these terms. The
K
tline, owing partially to the state of the restoration of the Stuarts to royal creed and the commandments, read
“Southern Belle* is as good as many 10c cigars now offered.
Address N a tio n a l C ig a r C o«,
8t Leuts.Me.
in g o r r e m o d e lin g r e sid e n c e s
end
ils health, but more directly to the gen power, Edward Whalley and William First Corinthian«, IB, and write two sto B r u e s ild
when order! ng please give the name ofthis paper without rail
. We ca rry a c o m p le te lin e o f M a n tels.
eral disfavor with which he now con- Goffe, two of the Judges that condemn verses of the chapter. Lately the num- G ra tes e n d T ilin g ___________
, T ile F lo o r in ..
g. _
T _
ile Wain’
____
lldered society girls in comparison ed the unhappy monarch to the scaf her of boys participating In the charity os^aiTd Combmatlon*
with one romping yet sympathetic soul fold were compelled to flee from En has been Increased from five to seven. P.Ile’ pertaining to E le c tr ic an d G as L igh tin g^
n i e e a lso ca rry a ll k in d » o f B a tte r ie s, B e ils a n d
whose image was lodged In his raera- gland. They came to America, and for This year sixteen boys offered to com In
d ic
,, a to , r s . P hotoi
o g r a p lis c h e e r fu
f u lly s e n t o n
»ry. Had It not been for the persist a time they hid In a rock cavern near pete, but only eleven attended. The a p p lic a . t io . . n » ._ F K A N —
K RO
ft co.
CO.
O L L C c O o M
m H i a
# 4 » W a s h in g t o n H t., P o r t l a n d , O r.
ency of his friend, Horace Judson, he New Haven, Conn. This hiding place first seven were successful and the un
would have remained In his room. But has since been known as the “regi successful boys were each presented
d im
Horace
had sent him word that he cides’ cave," and Is one of the interest with half a crown, while the five non-
___ ____
SV
comnetltors
received 2 Shlllinir onnh
E v e r slnoe g ra te flres w e re In v e n te d , h n u n e h n ld -
would call for him with a carriage and ing sjtots In that locality.
c o m p e u i o r s r e i e i v e u a s m i l i n g e a C H .— er« h a v e been w a s tin g SO p e r c en t « .r th e lr fu v l. Tor
m o s t o f (h e h e a t w e n t up th e c h im n e y . B u t n o w
Iwo ladies at 7:30 o’clock, and there
Pall Mall Gazette.
th e r e Is a w o n d e rfu l cliH iigp. fu r e v e ry b o d y w h o
S O ’ S C U R E FOR tJ
was but one thing to do.
W’hen a young man doesn’t take a
sees It a dop ts th e N e w C o lu m b ia n A re g r a te t h a t
CURfcS
_____ WHfcHt Al U ELSE [AILS
a new s ystem o f di-nuglits, m a k e s a w h it e
“Hang the parties,” muttered ’Gene, girl any nearer to her home than the
Watch-out that your popularity Is not lias
[ Boat C ough Syru p. Ta s tes Good.
fla m e , no .m o k e a t a ll. a nd send« a ll th e h e a t In to
In tim e . Sold by druggists.
is be pulled and tugged with his high next corner the gosBlps are very quick du® to the fact that you tell a piece of ‘ "•L IS ? *“ - F i ir p h n itre a a nd fu ll d e s c rip tio n a p p ly
t o T H K J O H N H A K K K T T C O ,, H l l i r a *
U M P T IO N
</>
rtlff collar.
to notice IL
gossip surprisingly well.
• tr e e t, P o r tla n d , O re g o n .
-
BE
A
G O O D
BOY.
1
I
BEST FOR THE
BOWELS
Isioowuto
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
COOK BOOK FREE.
PATENT E
YOUNG MEN!
NOTICE TO PROPERTY OWNERS.
MFURIFIER
1000 YEARS OF WASTE
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