WILLAMETTE FARMER: SALEM, OREGON, FEBRUARY 25, 1887
I.
Current if erahin.
FORBIDDEN FUUIT.
My fslthful ilor-hls Actions fairly talk
Gambolled about roe on our morning walk,
And bebg frivolous, for ho wu young,
Fanned, with flying foet and noisy tonguu,
The ciroling bird that skimmed along the
ground
And mooked with whistles thrill tho baying
hound,
lie mapped at flic, slow buzzing in tho air,
And chased tho chirping cricketi hero and
there j
At length with sudden leap, in merry play,
Ho caught a hornet, paining by that way,
And let him go attain, and moaned and sighed,
And icraped hli jawa along the ground and
cried t
And ahoutod "Fire," as a dog might shout,
And ran before the wind and put about
And shrioked, and gnawed tho trcot, and
snapped and rolled,
Fanted and thiverod, at with heat and cold,
And would not frisk, nor laugh, nor bound,
nor play,
And was not happy any moro that day,
"Alas," I cried, "how many times have I
Caught at somo gauzy ploaturo passing by,
And thought "but hero wo reached the spot
Whcro all that hornet's family lived, and I
forgot
Jnat what I thiught, and what I sought to
In ono tumultuous rush to get away.
Robert J. Burdotto.
Their Wedding Tours.
"DoRutiful doughnuts?'' murmured
Mr. Zobcdiali Bird, taking immonso
monthfuls with lingo relish to testify
his npprcclntion. "You nlwnyB hit it to
lmvo 'cm just ho tender so nico whon
you lmint got only a fow tooth an' tho'
nint ninny o' thorn opposite Tho' nint
much liko tho Widdor Atbigil'a dough
nuts, down in tho hollor. Hnrder'n so
mnny tin boxes."
"It's hnrdor whon thor'a nono," snnp
pod Miss Slinpphy. If her guost hnd
been Iohs obtuse ho would lmvo scon
that alio rcBonlcd to (illusion to tho
"Widdor Arbtgill," ilnttoringiy ns it hnd
boon tnado. "Wlint wns ho down in the
hollor for anyway, tnstiix' of her dough
nuts?" "That's ho, Miss Slinpphy," nespnted
Mr. Dird heartily. "Hut tho nint no
nocd o' boin' without whoro you nro, I do
lovo "
Miss Snpphy dropped tho ten-pot cov
er and scnldod tho cnt. It wns vory
embarrassing to hnvo him do it right
horo nt tho tnblo.
"your cooking," ho llntshod,
looking up in mild mirprisont tho usual
carofuMinnded MIhs Snpphy.
This time alio droppod tho ten-pot
cover off on purposo ns alio wns filling
hia cup, Hplashing tho hot liquid in his
fnco ah bIio noted with somo satisfac
tion.
Mr. Zobcdinh Uird wns well-to-do, old,
and wanting a wife. Ho hnd buried his
lnut ono n little moro than a year ago.
Ilia largo houso lookod empty now tljnt
tho young birds hnd llown nwny to
ninko othor nests, mid ho hiniHclf was
lonoly. His liotiKokcopor's doughnutH
woro not nmoh toudoror than tho Wid
dor ArbigU'a. Ho had about mndo up
his mind on tho subject boforo starting
out nonius lots for his usual evening
call.
"SIio'm a Hrtvin' crittor,"hosaid to him
nolf, chowiug his straggling chin-whin-kors
ns ho looked hor over thoughtfully,
'Hrtviii' an' neat. I guess I'll givo
horithp chimco."
As for Mins Snpphy, sho wan not un
mindful of tho "chance" Sho hnd long
soon things going to rack mid ruin ovor
nt tho "Uird's-noit" us it was generally
called, and wished in hor Having hou!
that bIio could stop tho household loaka
big and little.
"Miss Snpphy" began Mr. Uird
cautiously.
"Hnvo another doughnut," said Miss
Snpphy encouragingly, passing tho
pinto.
That settled matters.
"Sposiii you and I jog along togeth
er, MUh Snpphy!" Iio suggested insinu
atingly. "'tsposin' wo do," assented Miss Snp
phy. Miss Sapphy's heart "swelled liko tho
Solwny," but sho contented herself with
this mild form of words. Yet sho wan
not prepnrtHl for tho unronmntio way in
which her now-old lover lookod ou this
stop of a lifo-tinie.
"Well," ho said after a fow moments
of silence- (moments of solemn bliss to
Miss Snpphy) "about how soon, say,
could you think of ruuuin' ovor?"
"Wo aiut married yetl" grasped Misa
Dobby.
"No, but that's a five-minuto job. You
aint ho used to them things aa I bo," ho
addtul, smiling ou hor with tho condes
cension of (uperinnco.
Mias 8apphy smiled faintly, conscious
to a fluttering wish that ho wcro not
quito so used to it.
Sho whb only forty-five, according to
tho last census. Should sho let tho cov
eted and long-deferred glory of a brido
clip through hor fingers?
"Ze'bby, donr," sho said coaxingly, "I
want a tour."
"Toro what!" said Mr. Bird.
Sho explained. It scorned foolish to
Mr. Bird. Nono of his othor wives had
ever had "tores" (that was tho way ho
spoiled tho word in his mind) and it
mudo him wonder if sho wasn't ronlly a
littlo "wenk." But say whnt you will
nothing could controvert hor dough
nuts. "Wo couldn't both Ieavo to onco, Snp
phy," ho said indulgontly. "Thcro's
tho chickens nnd nil tho chores out
round 'twouldn't do.
"I wanted a tour," repeated Miss Snp
phy, sadly.
"Might go first ono nnd then tho
other," I H'poso" ho suggested jocularly.
"Well, wo might," snid Miss Snpphy
slowly. "Tlioy don't us'nlly. but it's bet
ter thnn nono. Well, Zobby, you go
first, nn' then I will."
So it was sottled. Tho wedding enmo
off duly nnd Miss Snpphy, or Mrs. Bird
as wo must now sny, wns fairly installed
in tho Bird's-nest. Mr. Bird thought ho
would liko to tnko n trip "down East
whcro ho wns nlwnys born and brought
up." and Mrs. Bird had no objection.
Bho packed Ills bag, filled his satchel
with doughnuts nnd throw a Blippor nf-
tor mm lor luck as no started on bis un
did tour.
"Now, Birl" said Mrs. Bird. When
MIbh Snpphy used to sny "now, eirl" it
moant something. When sho that was
Miss Snpphy said it, it meant something
still.
"I nint goin to hnvo him houtcrin' at
mo to como homo 'foro I'm rondy," bIio
said sngoly. ''The chickens enn tnko
enro of themselves. I'll sponk to ono of
tho neighbors about 'cm. I'm just going
off for a tour by mysolf and I'll look out
nnd got back the day 'foro ho docs so it
'll bwll right."
Sho left on tho vory next train. No
Down Knsl wilderness for hor. Sho hnd
nlwnys longed to boo a grcnt city, and
nil things como to her who can wait.
Thoy had agreed thnt tho tour should
occupy throo weeks ; nn unhord of dissi
pation for Mir. Zcbodinh Bird. Ho had
mentioned two, his wife wished for
four; thoy hnd finally compromised on
thrco.
Mrs. Bird mndo her way directly to
Boston : finding n room in n roenectablo
qunrtorsho proceeded in business fash
ion to "do" tho city. Hor tour was
quito extensive, embracing tho recesses
of tho Common, a morning visit to tho
Stnto Houso, a pcop nt tho Household
Art Booms, which alio believed to bo
tho Art Museum whereat a neighbor's
friend's son's had scon wondors on hor
wedding tour, a curious invasion of a
placo whoso haughty plncnrd, not tho
jiublio library mndo her wonder insatia
bly "whnt in creation it was then,"
nnd mnny othor things, tho which if
thoy woro all herein sot down neither
tho oditor of this paper nor any other
would find room to print thorn. Throo
weeks! Throo ycnrB would not liavo
ufliccd for hor sight-seeing. Each now
morning brought a fresh delight. Sho
was taking out hor crimping pins ono
frosty morning, trying to decido to
which of lin!f-a-dozon places sho would
go first, whon a loud troblo knock nt
hor chnmbor door set all hor (also teeth
chnttoring.
Sho opened tho doorn cautious crack,
and somebody olso burst it opon to iU
full width, bounced in and ilung herself
in tho chintz rockor, shaking with
laughter.
"Lor', BotBoy, why didn't you sny 'Its
mo!1 said Mrs. Bird, recognizing tho
sister whom sho hnd moro than onco
soon whon tho Inst Mrs. Bird wns yet
living. "But whnt nro you laughing nt?
Aro your nerves unstrung? Or is my
friz on crooked, alio naked faltoringly,
or "my wig on too far bnck."
"rio, donr land, dor laughed Miss
BeUoy. "You're all as right ns you
over was I guess I Hut can't holp lafiHn'
it 'twas to savo mo. lou'd better como
homo and see to Zebby, Miss Sapphy!"
"Ho lmint got homo!"
"All thero is left of him!" said Miss
Betsey.
"Ho haint gone and eloped witli
another woman?"
That sot this unaccountablo Miss Bet
sey oil' into another hysterical giggle,
which she brought up with a sudden
snort, and tho exclamation "No, but ho
thinks you hnvo!"
Mrs, Hint saw there was something
sorious, ho sho sat down to listen ser
iously. "If ho aiut sick or dead or eloped off
witli anybody, I don't soo anything to
laugh over to cry over, I mean, and if
you could stop long enough to tell
mo, I should bo glad," sho observed
meokly.
"Well, I will," said Miss BoUey. 'It's
just this it way. Zebby, you see, he
don't know no moro about bridal-tours
than a six weoks baby, an' so ho thought
ho must do something uncommon to
tell you an' I guess ho did! (Hero Miss
Betsey showed Bigns of "going off," but
chocked herself and went on.) Ho got
his ticket straight to Portland (tho Ian
dy knows how ho dono thnt whn ho
never got a ticket 'foro in his life.) And
you know wo live on nn island out a lit
tlo way and when tho harbor's friz or
its winter weather you can walk out or
rido out or anything right on tho ice.
Woll. Zebby ho thought ho'd walk.
Twould save money and perhaps you've
found out already lies kind osnug
though not what you'd call near. Well,
ho undertook so walk. 'Twos ico,
mind you, and Zcbby's an old man. I
exiicct ho nover was groat on ico any
wny. Tho wind it blow a perfect hurri
cano, and down ho went tho vory first
thing on hia kneos. Ho cropt along a
spell and then ho riz up and the wind
would givo him another knock-down
blown an' down ho'd go.
"So ho hnd to ctocp along, risin' up
onco in awhile, nn' they wns somo mon
on tho shoro ont bun tin' or something
with a gnn. And what should thoy do
but tnko it in their heads 'twas a boar!
It looked just like one, rocly! Black,
an' big an' crccpin' along bo, T don't
wonder, I'm euro. An' thoy fired nt
him. O! don't you go to fafntin' over
that. Thoy didn't como within forty
rows of appIo-trocB of him. But t
ucnirt him uwful. Ho riz up and begin
to wavo hia arms at 'cm and whisporod
to 'cm (haint you over noticed how ho
looses his voice sometimes?") an' thoy
thought 'twos a bear pawin' nt 'em
moro'n over. So up they go along shoro
to got somo dogs to put on him. But
ho didn't wait for thnt Ho scrabbled
along on his hands nnd kneos until ho
got across and then ho couldn't walk,
ho'd boon crnwlin' so long. Ho crawled
up tho bank to our house, nnd I holler
ed out nmazcd-liko, 'Zobby, is thnt you!'
ics,' says ho, 'whnt thoro is left of mo.
An' truly, thoro wnsn't much. His
trousers wcro nil woro through and his
Itnocs woro bleeding and hia hnnds, too.
I did him up ns well as I could, and fixed
him, but do you know tho crcotur
wouldn't hear to stnyin' another day nor
a halt n any. Iio snid ho d hnd enough
of tores, nnd ho wns going homo to his
wifo.
And I thought in my soul ho would
hnvo a fit when wo got thcro nnd didn't
liiul hair nor Judo ot you. iio would
hnvo it thnt you'd run nwny. All I
could sny I couldn't get that out of his
bond. So I told him to Btny still and
I'd go find you. And such n timo ns
I've hnd a-doin' it. Itaccd all over Bos
ton without tho least hopo o'iindingyou
only I caught n streak o'your red feath
er coming out of n horso car and put mo
on tracK oi you."
Mrs. Bird could do ns many ns two
things nt once, nnd with tho eloso of hor
visitor's nnrntivo sho strnppod tho Inst
bucklo of hor slinwl-strnb, snapped tho
cntch of tho sntchol and stood nrrnyod
for tho trip homo, which was to end
hor bridal-tour. "Zobby" wolcomed hor
with incredulous joy. Tho chiokons
woro dead but ho forgavo her. Tho
pump was frozen but sho wns pardoned.
"Anything, Snpphy, anything undor
tho sun, moon or stars but another bridal-torot"
Anna P. Buiiniiam.
Shortness of Breath.
Dn. Flint's Heart Remedy should bo
tnkon nt onco whon slight oxortion or a
hearty meal producos shortness of brcntli
or pmn in tho region of tho hoart. At
nil druggists, or J. J. Mnck it Co., 0 and
11 Front at., a. P.
STOCK FARM FOR SALE.
A flood Opportunity to Bay a Btook Farm with
Large Out-Range.
A pnrty hns placed in our hnnds for
salo ono of tho best stock farms in tho
vallov. This land is situated in tho
foot hill region of tho Cascades, nnd is
conccedod to bo tho best adapted to
stock growing of any portions of our
Stnto. It consists of 9S0 acres, all
fenced but 80 acres 200 acres in culti
vation t good houso and fair barns and
out buildings; 8 acres in orchnrd;
county rond passes through plnco; a
creek passes through ono edgo, and
springs abound over tho ontiro place.
Situated in Olncknmns county. Small
timbor covers parts not cleared. I'rico
$8,000. Apply at onco to this office.
Anyono meaning business will bo shown
tho placo freo oi ohnrgo.
Bans Up.
It isn't every girl who will tell on hor
sclf, but ono did. Sho enmo to tho
storo nnd returned a fino pair of bangs
sho hnd bought tho day provlou-ly.
"Can you not sell mo somo that will not
como out como our wny, tneso
will stay on with very littlo care, said
Briggs. "Oh, thoy aro horrid. They
cateli on collnr buttons and pullod oflV
Beverly fell on tho chair and screamed
"What?" whilo tho young lady departod
bangless and without hor chango.
A Chanco for Health
Is sfforded those fast sinking into a condition
of hopeless debility. The means are at hand.
In the form of a conitl uuvliciual cordial,
ilotettr'a Stomtch Utters embodies the com
Wnod qualities of a Mood fertilizer and de
purent, a tonio and an alterative. Whilo it
promotes diceition and assimilation, aud
stimulates appetite, has the further effect of
purifying tho life current and strengthening
tho nervous system. As the blood grows
richer aud purer by its use, they who resort
to this kterliog medicinal agent, acquire not
only vigor, but boddy substance. A health
ful change in the seorotions is affected by it,
and that sere and rapid physical decay, which
a chronic oUtructiou of the functions of the
system produce, is arrested. Tho prime
causes of diieurs being removed, health is
speedily renovated and vigor restored.
Reentered Berkshire Bog for Bale.
Wo have for solo a Berkshire boar.
Ho is by Registered stock, nnd a choice
animal. Will sell for cash or approved
security. Address at ouco :
W. J. Claukk, Salem, Or.
Barklta's Arnica Salve.
The Best 8lv in tho world for Cuts ,
Bruises, Sorts, Ulcers, Salt Hheum, Ferer
Sores, Tetter. C pped Han, Chilblain
Corns, and I Skui Eruptions, and positively
cures Pilot, r no w rcauired. It is guaran
teed to give pun in .atiiUCfon, or money re
funded. Prico M rents pe box.
For sale by I'oit & Soo,
THE NEW LAWS.
The Numbers and Titles of Bills that
Passed Those Signed by
tho Governor.
From 8lem Statesman.
Following Is a list of all tho bills that
passed both bodies of tho legislature, and
that hnvo received tho signatures of tho
president and speaker, and that liavo
bcon handed to tho govornor. Tho list
also shows all that hnvo received tho sig
nature of tho governor at tho present
timo. Ho will hnvo until Wednesday to
consldor those bills that liavo not yet re
ceived his aignnturo :
HOUSE DILLS BIONBD DY THE QOVEIINOR.
No. 20 To incorporate Hoppncr.
128 To incorporate Drain.
62 Amending act creating Morrow
county.
109 Amending Springfield charter.
20.'5 Amending hast Portland charter.
il Amending AHliinnu cnartor.
03 Fix timo of holding county court in
Gilliam county.
113 To incorporate Sollwood.
109 Amending Kugcno City charter.
3 Croatlng Wallowa county.
218 Fixing timo of holding circuit
court in Douglas county.
14 I'rescribinc timo and'nlacoof hold
ing circuit court in 7th judicial district.
223 Amending Arlington charter.
248 For rolicf of school district of Linn
county.
12 To provido for timo of holding cir
cuit courts In 1st district.
80 To provido for publishing rojwrts
of county finances.
254 lo provido county commisslonors
for Columbia county.
222 For pay of per diem, etc., of 14th
biennial session of legislative assembly.
33 Amending act creating Klamath
county.
22 To incorporate Alblnn.
19 To incortwrnto Myrtle Point.
31 To Incornornto Joseph.
18 To relocnto tho county sent of Ynm
hill county.
109 To prevent iwrsons from unlaw
fully wcarintr bnduo of Q. A. It.
j 'ii increasing salary Buporintomlont
penitentiary to $1500.
HD lo dol
oflno boundary lino between
Yamhill and Tillamook counties.
13 Relating to snlo of liquors to mi
nors. 180 Defining southorn boundnry of
Linn county.
00 Crontlng Mnlhour county.
204 Creating ollko of recorder of con
veyances for Multnomnli county.
145 To provent deception In snlo of
dairy products.
GO Amending school lnw.
91 Amending school law.
69 Amending school lnw.
90 For roliof of A. W. Prosloy.
270 For sustaining tho creel it of tho
state of Oregon, and making specific ap
propriations for carrying on tho stato
government, etc.
32 l'ortlnnd bridgo bill ; 'votood nnd
passed ovor veto.
27 Portland wator bill ; vetoed.
IIOUHK DILLS IK THE HANDS CIV (lOVKIWOIt.
147 Amending school lnw.
iu-' l'or ".Minor" noiiuny.
124 Amending sec. 90, titlo.0, chap.
V, miscellaneous laws.
41 For selection and salo of stato
lands.
137 Amondlng sec. 52, titlo 3, cliapt.
7, misc. laws.
211 Relating to Portland firo dopt.
238 To nuthorlzo Tillamook county to
ncgotinto a loan.
201 Amonding Dallas charter.
43 Adding kindergarten work to pub
lic school system.
82 Ainond sec. 32. chant. 7. misc.
laws.
132-Ainonding county judges' salaries.
40 Frovidinir bounty on certain wild
nnhnnls.
103-Ornntlng P. & W. V. It. It. right
of way through River View cemotory.
72 Amending school laws.
28 IneorjKjratlng Medford.
24 Amending Newport charter.
55 Relating to sheriffs' fcoa in Coos
and Curry countlos.
115 Regulating salo of opium, etc.
107 Rolutlng to stato printer.
1(17 Amonding sec. 18, titlo 3, chapt.
41, inlse. laws.
30 For organization of national guard
of Oregon.
SENATE 1I1I.I.S SIONKI).
89 For foreclosure mortcairo oxcctit-
ed by Baker City acadamy.
07 Authorizing cities 10,000 inhabi
tants to build armories.
3 Incorjwratlng Cottngo Grovo.
134 Amending Ilillsboro cbnrtor.
94 Amending Albany charter.
10 Incorporating I'rinovillo.
151 Amending Sec. 0, chapt. 49, misc.
laws.
152 Amending Jacksonville charter,
117 Amending Astoria charter.
158 Authorizing construction of dykes
nero-s Duncan slough.
150 Fixing timo holding circuit court
in 5th dist.
153 Amending Portland charter.
00 Amending Marshfiold charter.
135 Amending act creating Crook
county.
102 Incorporating Silvorton.
103 Amonding McMinnvilio charter.
149 Amending Dalles City charter.
20 Amending Salom charter.
62 Repealing titlo 3, chap. 29, miscel
laneous laws.
ISO-Relating to Sixth judicial district.
81 Hare's swamp-land confiscation
bill.
119 Incorporating Baker City.
137 Incorporating Grant's Pass.
165 Reapportioning the state into sen
atorial and repiesentativo districts.
160 To establish board of railroad
commissioners.
54 and 550. R. & N. Lease bills: not
signed, but became laws by limitation.
SENATE HILLS IN QOVERNOn'a HANDS.
No. 113 Creating olfico of county re
corder.
112 Amending Pendleton charter.
133 Authorizing Or. Ry. Bridco Co. to
bridgo the Willamette river between Ma
rlon ami i amiiill counties.
103 Relatinc to wire fences east of
Cascade mountains.
37 For oilicial publication of decisions
ot supremo court.
to tor return to Oregon ana burial of
tho body of tho late Gov. Glbbs.
161 For recovery of property escheat
ed to tho state.
20 To prevent fraud in obtaining cer
tificates of registration of cattle.
102 Amending section 8, chapter 8 of
general laws.
GO Regulating practico of dentistry
0 Amending section 347, titlo 4, chap
ter 4, civil codo.
107 To provido for Bale of certain lands
to Leo cemetery.
27 For constructing cattlo crossings
under public roads.
48 To provido modo of procedure in
ascertaining boundary lines.
155 Autborlzo dyko across Isthmus
slough, Coos county.
154
35 For protection of live stock nnd for
pay for stock killed by railroads.
30 Amending section 6, titlo 1, chap
ter 50, miscellaneous laws.
175 Insurance law.
178 Amending Halsey charter.
80 Defining vngrancy nnd prescribing
punishment.
125 Declaring what shall constituto
irrcduclblo school fund.
61 To provido fees of witnesses in
Clatsop county.
57 To nuthorlzo county courts to ox
pond county monoy in constructing roads.
100 Amending school law.
10 To rolmburso cortaln counties.
83 To protect Btock growers.
104 To authorize constructon of bridgo
across Willamette rivor at Oregon City.
182 Directing governor to call a special
election in November, 1887.
184 Changing timo of holding court
in tho sixth district.
170 For fish commissioner.
yq don't Wi.
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4C0 ACHES.
INCOnrOltATKD IMi.
California Nursery Co.
Fruit and semi-Tropical.
CHAPE VINES.
Smi'J rrtl'J, Xte.
LARGEST STOCK
On lb Taclflc Ooait.
8PE0IALTICS:
PLUMS, PRUNES & APRICOTS
ON MYnODOLAN STOCK.
Our t tcllltlts for ptcslog in J lUlrrlng to ills,
lant points ire UDiurptMfd,
sVi:il for Catalogue. AiMiym
CAUFORNIA KURSERY CO.,
JOHN HOCK. Milliliter. Nllaa, Cl.
NO M0REK'4H8sv!B'
Dlsonsos of tho Bladder, Gravel,
Dlnbotos or Drlght's Dlsonso,
Keed trouble you, for from th TAU WEST oomea
well tried remedy, sure and permanent.
The Curs Is
mm
wmm
m
l'nrelr sttablt,
Fleaaaat to Uietait. toning nptnoaretem. It la
A PERFBCT HEALTH GIVER.
T,'ril4 for taujUe tnllmtmlatt, maUtlfrt.
f,14VrUDr.r,UU. l,rutK,U1llHlrr.
1'reparcd oolj r Baeil, HclUaa A WecJarJ.
WholMAlo DroreUta. Portland, Oregon. J
o
Ttu BUYERS' GUims U
issued Sept. and March,
cachjrrar, SJ-3U Pfftf
BK x UK Indies, witli over
3.B0O UlutraUons a
wttoU PWturo Galltrr.
GIVES AVboleaale Prices
dlrrcl fa consumers an all goods for
personal or family nee. Tells now to
order, and glTCS) exact coat of CTery
thlng jroa nee, eat, drink, wear, or
bare fun with. Thee I.TVAXXJAHLK
BOOKS contain information gleaned
from the markets of the world. W
will mall a copy VRKC to any ad
dress upon receipt of 10 eta. to defray
czpesuo of malllna;. Let ns hear front
you. Respectfully,
MONTGOMERY WARD & CO.
887 de 880 Wahaafc Ascaae, Ckleage, IU.
SEEDS fZ
Warranted. rmkjuliaUe.
Tested Rrfi cheap. IUu
Prlroi I rt lev Ant
imuu iiuigfii vent tree.
QtrUrnvr mj our
racai
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