Willamette farmer. (Salem, Or.) 1869-1887, November 24, 1882, Image 6

Willamette farmer., November 24, 1882, Page 6, Image 6

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Newspaper Page Textis: yj..PiU-2 yji j - f p $::; J f urrcnf if eralnr AWAIT1HO THE EHDj Marc Cook ("Van Dye Brown") the vounjr tioet who died in Utica, on Thursday, of con sumption, left one or two poems touching hia tickneu and tho prospect of his early eleath which are very pathetic. Here is one with a righ in every line : , Never aeain to know Health' charming, radiant filow; tTever again to frcl the pulse's quickened beat, J be sinews pliant as steel, tempered in ac tion's heat. The sweat of honest toil, brinving its respite sweet; Hut day and night, niuht and day, To maik tho body's slow decay. ' .Andknowthatdeatliscoresoncinthogame (In sunshine and shadow all the same), Every day, every day ! Never again to dream Of nil that mav be. or seem. a tho sunlit futtiro hid from tho eager eye of youth; Never to raise tho lid of the precious casket of truth; Never to hope to delve in tho field of thought forsooth; ltut day and night, night and day, To watch the hours waste away. Still in the world and still not of it Still learnii g more and more to love it Kvery day, every day! Never again to stand In tho thick of the battle grand Jn the God-let battle of life, the goodliest baitlo of all, Whero noble it were in tho strife, manfully fklitinir to fall: Kever in action's ranks to answer the bugle call But day and night, night and day, To passively sit and watch the fray, With a skeleton spectro always nigh Oh, worse than a thousand times to die Kvery day, evuiy day 1 Troy Timtf. Felicia's Doubts. IIYC. II. WJIITKIIKAI', Woman's Journal. The spring cleaning was done. Tho house had been rans-ickul from garret to floor; the cracks and cornets blown with the bellows to make euro tho moths wero all cut; the win dows washed; the walls wiped and kalsomined M their needs determined; tho paint cleaned; the carpets ehakcu, beaten and mado over if tboy showed worn spots; tho bedsteads searched as with a lighted csndlo, if pcrchaoco thero should be but happily uono wero found; the troiiblcsnmo upholstered parlor furnituro brushed and blown behind every button; drovers and chests emptied and a mental inventory taken of their contents; then a general going over and tidying up ami, as I remarked at tho beginning, the spring clean Ing.wua over. Also, tho children's summer clothing was in order i good stock of it, too, so that their nerves and mind need not bo worn threadbare with tho fears that cloan clothes would not bold nut till next tvash day. When these things wero dono I wus tired; not that I had contributed all tho muscle, but I hud contributed a largo sliaro of the brain necessary to then faithful acoiinplishment. I told Hirold that I needed a vacation of a week or two for recuperating, and wautod to visit my old friend Felicia, whom I had not seen for eight years or more, "Sho livoi five hundred miles from here." "Kxaotly," I answered; "what of that?" "You will havo to chango cars thrvu'timen and take a boat once; furos are enormously high now. If you mako this visit I shall have to uio my old mow ing machine another yetr. You know I was Intending to trade it otf for a new one, and should have to pay a good deal to balance tho trade. 1 supposo 1 iw wait another yeur," "its, I know by oxperionco you can. I waited live yean after 1 wanted to exchange my sowing machine. I waited seven yean for the speaking tubu and dummy, and there's no telllni.- how many morn times I went up and down stair in tliosa seven years than would havo been ncoessaiy if I had had t'lem. We uie them every day, and many times a day, while a mow lug machine is only rci-ulrcd fur short season) so, if I could wait for them, I'm sure you can wait for this." "If I go away, and come homo with a new (took of health, spirits and ideas, it will re.ict on you so that you will Ikj able to do more work with your old muwer than you could with your new one if I am dull, gloomy and irritxblo all summer, 1 heard the vlilMien talking yesterday about how cross mainm t is poor llttlu tliingl It will bo better for you. better for them, tor me, for my Sunday school eliaa and fur my neigh tors, if I take a good rest. Besides, Kelicia is such a good manager I shouldn't ly surprised to bring home enough of her economical Ideas to mako up even for tho inouey spent." "Is that ) our reason for goinn to I'elicU'a? I was just about to ask why you couldn't go aWtuevv here newer homo. "No; I tnint lohgo to Felicia's, and that's nay reaon forgoing.1' 1'mll. you aro Kvuerally such a reasonable body, 1 suppose 1 must give in sometimes When you do seem a trifle Unreasonable." "Ueu't' be to tulf-concejtul M to thluk I am lway reasonable when I iwm aO'to you, nor tK tirrw. A lauli from Harold, a wonder if I had b-u uating pieklvi, and then wa wt-ui to sleep. In the nioruing I (old Jane, my "help," that I was going sw.iv. and she aweited her entire wllliiigusss, to till my place as far aa possible. .Who bad always b r-u as kind and faithful to the children as tluir waywanlueaa would al low. I felt ooiillduiit that they would lie taken jrood can, of pltysieally; but I laid to Harold, whIU on the tram, previous to starting i "I hope vmi will l a inuthtr to the childnui aettlo tl.cir quarrels, ntiswtr their d,uetious, comfort and emMIe tliejit wltvu tliey feel lad, read to thrill, hear I larn 'a spslliulcvu u, i im that they learn their riunuay nhcwl verses nd ilmt tltivk tho Carlttnia by ulayug noisily ou Km ehy, etc., etc. Ami, negative ly, do not txi ti't them to sit still tor an hour while ouicid the paper; tltwi'i break their hearts with a LI ck Jruvru if they tear their lothea or spill milk at the table; and hen ou K up to bed, if either of them calls Ta- 1a,' In a soft voice, don't say gruffly", 'You ceep still and go to sleep.' Oo to the restless little dear, turn it over, nx me piiiow ana oca clothes, pat its cheek and ask, 'What's the matter that it can't go to sleep ?' " "Yes, I've seen you try that; but they go to sleep a pood deal quicker my way." ' "The quickest way isnjt always the best way. "By the nulling of that engine I judge it r my best way out of this car. Oood-by,' and I was off. The journey was not very tedious. Felicia knew I was coming and met me at the station with a stylish horse and carriage. I shoald not have recognized her, but sho knew me di rectly. Wo soon arrived at htrhourc, a far diffcrentplacn from that in which I hadlastseen her. Her husband was absent for three days on business. The children came out to meet us, and, askin? the housekeepei to show me my room, sho excused herself for a few min utes to give them a ride. I taw her but little that night, and the next day her manner was so constrained that I be gan to fear my visit was unwelcome. I was much perplexed. On the third day, when her husband was expected home, I thought I saw a clue to the mystery. My children are always on the qui vice when Harold is coming, each anxious to be the first to get in bis lap and find out what he has brought them. These children took no notide of the announcement that their father was coming home, with the exception of little Mary, who exclaimed: "Oh, elearl then I e.vi't sleep with mamma any more 1" That evening, as Bbe sat in my lap and Ted in his mothers, cight-year-old Albert, who seemed to feel rather lonesome, went bashful ly, andwent down on Ins father's knee. "You get a chair and sit down; you're too big to sit in laps." The boy made A poor attempt to conceal his chagrin with a silly laugh, and sat down by mother's side. "Harry sits in his father's lap, and ho is four months older than Albert," I aaid; but Mr. Solomon went on talking about the rise in cotton, seeming not to hear. F-dicio snuggled Ted closer,-with one arm around Albert, and a look or. her thin faco that I interpreted to mean, "It has always been so, and always will bo so." One day, when my visit was more than half over, ard very little pleasure so far, I sat in the ptrlor and mused. A fine piano, easy chaiis, rich carpet, lvco pictures and heavily draped windows gave no sign that money was stingily used; but I missed the touches of taste that it always seemed to mo Felicia would put into a room. It wantod a music holder, a bracket here, a vase there, a bright cover on that little tabic. A similar lack was noticeable all over the house Was it possible that Felicia, being a "woman's rights wo man," took no interest in her homo? What ailed her, any way ? I would go and ask. hho looked up with a moony sort oi a smile at least it wasn't sunny from the flower sho wai weeding. I sat down on tho grass op posite her and asked, "Felicia, what is the matter with vou?" Sho answered, nuietlv: "The doctor said I had a elicht Mint of scrofula, which would al ways bo an annoyance until eradicated " Her simplicity or duplicity I did not know which it was almost to k my breath away at first. After a long pause I said, "I don't mean that. I want to know what makes you so different from your old solf ?" Ihcn she stopped weeding, anil asked, anx iously, "Am I so very different?" 'Uillercut I vou aro not the same person at all." "I wai afraid so. I know 1 felt like some body besides myself. The fact is, I'm in doubt." 'The communion of saints, the foruiveness of sins, tho insurrection of tho body, and the life everlasting' which do you doubt f " "Not those) things." sho answered, "f hope mind is settled there past unsettling. I don't know, but wo aro doing a wrong and fonliib thing to try to learn anything but what wn ask our husbands at home. That i-s such of us as hive husbands; the others, of course, can do as they please." "Felicia Solomon I I think tho doctor was right, and all the scrofula has gone to your brain." At that sho really luughid, more sponta neously than I had seen her for eight years I firoceeded : "If you havo any explanation iow you havo been brought into this miser able condition, pray enlighten me, if by any means I may avoid such a fate." .She pitched into the tlowcr bed again, ami beheaded several luckless petunias. I waited a little while in silence. Then 1 said, "Feli cia, we wero friends. If wo are not now, 1 shall go home to morrow. I may as well say honestly that tho change in you has prevented my deriving any enjoyment from my visit. t'auaiug in her slaughter of the innocent potunias, sho looked all around as guiltily as if contemplating some more teiublo crime, and asked under her breath, "Do you think it is right to say anything about your husband?" "llaveu't you li ard mo talk about Haloid ever since 1 came here?" "Yes; but I mean anything not oxactly u) thing that you think isn't in his favor." "Certainly 1 do, if there's any such thing to say, l told Harold before w o wero man led that ho could not depend on mo to hide any hadnos9." "Is Felix bad to jnu!" I asked, deter-inine-d, now I had begun, to cairy the battle to the gates of the enemy. "K-v, not that. Well, I'll tell you -if you won't my anything, not even to llnioUl -I'll tell you about tho last eight years." "I can t promise that. Do on think I dis play Harold to the lest of the world, and eon teal tho rest of the world from Harold? Why do you want uie to promise not to tell any body? If he is too bad to tell of, he is too Kid to live with. 1 dislike concealment. It al ways works mischief sooner or later, oven when begun with the boat intentions." "What is the orgau of secrvtiveness given us for, theu?-' "1 don't kuow. It is oneof the unaccount- ables, like snakes ami iiioamiitoea. But do go ou with our story. 1 will endeavor to lie aa discreet at my temperament ami circum stances will allow." So she becani "You remember wheu wo were married ?" "es, very well." "l'erhana you did not kuow it. but Felix waa in debt If I had known it, I should have insisted on a tHutuouement. for I alwava had a horror of debt. lowed nothing, and had a little ooinlug to me from my scho-.l. You remember I taught school oue term after we were married, and took in sewing and went out sewing; I canvassed for books aud papers; I kept boarders; but still we were In debt. I think ou moved away before Albert was lioru." I nodded avent, ami the proceeded t "My he.lth iailad at that critical neriod. just w hen I uredeel it moat, and I have uever been very strong itcce. I was almost helpless the tlrst year, and at the end of that time we were not out of debt. After thtiiklui; it over a great deal, I told Felix if he would let ne havo fourteen dollars a week I would pay all our vxpeiura out tf it, 'aud perhtpi there would bo something lelt to apply ou our debts, Ihouuh we could uut tell certainly at at thai time he was selling goods on commisdou, aul omo weeks btouijht in more ihau others. Hut I knew by looking over the accounts that wn were sihu ilim n.uro thau tint tack week. I was to hate the mo'iryi viy Satuiilay night in adrAiio, to that I oould pay cash. l mm WILLAMETTE FARMER: PORTLAND. that the credit system dupea more people poor than it over benefits. It look us three or four yeirs but finally every debt was paid. Felix developed remarkable business talent. He was prompt, careful, honest, of pleasing ad dress, and very energetic when well. You know he was tick a great deal at first. Before odr mariiage, an early widowhood was proph esied for mo If I persisted in marrying that sick-looking chap. My allowance for family expenses fluctuated from fourteen to twenty five dollars a week, as circumstances seemed to1 demand, or aa it suited Felix to pay, but when his income was established iu the thou sands, ho took natters into his own hands and refused sny longer to make an allowance for family expenses. He said he would pay his own bills. I don't know why. Perhaps he thought I was too extravagant, or net enough so. At any rate he forgot that he that is faithful in little will be faithful also in much, forgot that we wero in debt when I took charge of the family expenses; and worked out while I still paid the bills. And I did not like it. "Then we or he. rnoro properly arranged that I was to have $9 a wick, clothe myself and the two children, and what was left to do what I pleased with. That year we moved on to this plac, and as the house is much larger than the one we foimerly occupied, it n quired a largo outlay for carpets and furni ture. I received all that waa allowed me, but 1 often had to overdraw, so I never had any retrular pay day. Felix kept tho account. and if I looked over the books the result was generally so disheartening that I was discour need. I bought a cood many honks, and sub scribed for a good many papers, for I thought I must have them anyway; and I had some money to give away once in a while when l saw anybody worse off than I was. But I could not buy anything for the house, which accounts for the lack of the little finishing touches I've seen you wondering about. I couldn t get an article of furniture, a vase or pin cushion, a flatiron or carving knife, a gar den tool or tabic cloth, without asking him for the money or using my allowance. How ever, I had the consolation of thinking that that was mine, alter providing respectablo clothing for myself and the children, until last fall I found even that wa; subject tq lim itations. "I joined the Woman's Club coon after coming here. We Were all interested in school suflrave for women. I don't kuow that other people's children would ever have seemed of enough importance in my eyes so that I should have felt a call to make any especial effort to obtain tho power to remedy the evils of our school system, which must he apparent to any casual observer; but when Albert began to go, of course, I visited tho school, which his father has never done. Neither docs ho see tho boy one hour to my ten, and consequently has nothing liko my opportunity for deciding on the effect of1 his IGIIUVUU&. '! Please don't stay to discuss that question," I interrupted, "for I am now settled and grounded." "All through the summer we planned tint I and another woman, a Mrs. Rockford, whose husband is quite well off, should go out in the fall and hold some meetings, and try to obtain pctitioos for school suffrage for women. 1 announced my intention last spring. My husband objected. I think now if I nad asked his pcimission aud waited awhile if. would have been granted; but it did not at the time occur to me that such was the pr. per course to pursue. Ho hud nover asked my permis-iou to go away, and I did as he did. We said but little about it through the summer. In the fall, when I began to make preparatioi s, he took a decided stand. He did not say in plain words that I should not go, but ho accused me of neglect ing my homo duties. I asked if he consid ered tint tho store was neglected when he was absent three or four days. I said: "Of course yon muKO arrangements for it do what you can botore you go and tho rest after you como back.' "He said it was different with a house and children." 1 said: 'You kuow I havo several times left the children much against my will, however ou your invitation, and had been absent sometimes tor a week. I should stjy away as long as that at one timu on this business, and yiu acknowledge that Mips Daniel's U tho tnoit trusty housokeercr wo uver had.'" Then ho plead his louliness till I wavered. But thinking over tho urgency of the woik. I said: "When you havo any work you think yon ought to do, you do not let my lonlincss stand in the way. I do not want yon to, and could not rospe'et you if you should. Why should I do what I could not respect you iu doiug ?" "As a hut resort, after I had made one en gagement, ho said he was not willing to ha o his money used for such a purpose. I replied that I diil uot intend to use his monoy. 1 had been very economical during the summer, and thought there tnust bo something due on iny allowance. Then he expressed his unwilling ness to pay me and have me awny from home. I stid I would deduct the tuno 1 was absent, oven though I did extra duty while at home. But this was not satisfactory. Ho hauded inc money two or three times without making any account of it, aud I saw that ho consid ered the allowance engagement otucellcd. 1 have never looked at iho books, and do not know whether an) thing was due mo at tho time or not. I do not enru. Alter I found it was not mine to do what I pleased with. I did not want it at all." "I should think all this, instead of earning iiouoij ot woman s rights, would have con irmed you in your belief, "Wait and see. Of con course, then. I had to atop. I rilled my one engagement aud awak ened quite au interest, though only ten signed the petition. There is no telling how many more wanted to. and waited to ask their hus bands. Mrs. Hock ford never went at all. She aaid her husbaud feared her health would suffer." I kept on thinking. I couldn't help it. My thoughts ran back to tho time when we were married, wheu I first learned that Felix was m debt: the years of deprivation and sickness, aud nit gradual iucrejse of wealth. He owns two farina now,, and all the goods in his store-, while I am only it pauper, dependent upon his moods. His brother laid not long ago that I had coat more for doctor's bill than 1 was w or tli. " It it true that I have never been very well tinco Albert waa born,, but I think that it largely due to the care, anxiety and overwork of the early part of my intrried life. It it true, too, that we di 1 pay a good ileal for tho ten ice a ot various ph siciaus lie for I ,weut to the Hygienic luttitute; but there I learned enough, so that, with fair opportunity, I could take such cato of vur laiuily that ncknesj would be unknown. Aa it is, I have done much in that direction. You kuuw how miser able Felix wa when we were married. I found he was making his hrtakfaat of nnttW, buckwheat cakel and fried sausages, morning after morning. Aa a coutequenoi-, bring of a bilious temperament, he had fnqueut bilious attacks and thus 1 it many days' work. I took great lutertst iu sanitary matters, read ing ail I could bud on tuch subjects aud I Iwliqve the improvement in my hutbwd'a health is ow iug, iu a meat measure, to my eu d cavort to have him Uko Ixtter caro of him self in matters of diet, clothing, etc Albert was a ticklv litU baby never will until he wa two yeata old. Now he very teldoiu'hsa a sick day. II I have boeu tick a great deal, the elaj t arv few in which the children ha OREGON, NOVEMBER not come to 'mamma' for aomfort in their griefs. Sick or well, have attended to their clothing, their bedding, the ventilation of their rooms, and many things th it need atten tion with little children, 'lheir moral, intel lectual aud physical guidance has been left in my hands, though I have not had tne oppor tunity and appliances necessary to carry it on successfully. If they or Felix are sick, I am usually nurse and physician. I have never been sick enough to keep him away from bus iness but three day." Then sho added, as if speaking to herself, 'No one could be more tender, thoughtlul and intuitive than he was." After a pause she resumed: "For the last six years 1 think our doctor's bills and medi cine have amounted to $100. As yon observe, the children consume very little of their fath er's time or attention. As far as they are con cerned, his vitality is all left for his business, which would not be the case if he distrusted my ability to care for them." "Tho longer you talk the less reason I seej for jour having doubt on women's rights," I said, a littln impatiently. I fear. "I m comirg t th t directly. I thought these things all over, reasoning on this wise: We were married, and both of us, I suppose, put all we were, all we had, all wo expected to be or haire, into the firm matrimonial. Whatever of spiritual, intellectual or physi cal resources I had has been freely drawn from, and I do not think it egotism to assume that the other partner has profited thereby, lie is a healthier man, a broader minded man, and, I trust, a better man than when we were married; and not so poor in this world's goods. Now, as we staited even, how is it that he owns his thousands and has good health, while I cannot spend a dollar except upon c nditions, and am broken down in health ? The only principal on which I can account for it is that marriage is a partnership in which the husband shares the losses with the wife, and keeps the profits him'elf. I have prayed, thought, read studied and planned for the good of the fami ly, besides working with my hands. He may have done all these too; but why should he reap all the pecuniary benefits and I be ex pected to bo satisfied with affection? Hn wants that, in ndditicnto his money; why may I not want money in addition tj the af fection? He tells me tho money is all mine, but w hat does that amount to when I can't dispose of a dol'ar of it except ns I am direct ed? It's liko'buying n beautiful doll and set ting it up before a child to bo lookcel at, and f .iyiog, "it's yours, but you must not t puch it fr fear you will spoil it.' I always thought that it was one of the'most tantalizing things in the world. "I talked this all over to Felix, and seeing 'men as trees walking,' be offered to renew and increase my personal allowance, subject ti co dictation from him as to it expendituie. It was too late then. I would not have it. It was unjust. 'What v, ould bo just ?' he asked. I replied, 'For you to far1 for the next fie j ears as I have the last five. Givo me nil the money, and let me spend or iuveet it as I see fit, only allowing you such a sum as I think proper, and telling you that you shalK not spend that for certain things to which I ob ject, lhat would be measure for measure. "1 wish you could have se.-n his tace. 1 know you would havo pitied. I could harelly keep from nutting mv arms around his neck to comfort him, but I gave no sign of the in waul conflict. Outwardly I was serene and dignified. I really believe he thought me in sane. For a long time he only looked at me as if so preposterous a propositi! n had never been imagined in nil the world. Finally he asked me if I really wauted him to do that. I said no; I did not ask justice; I was only stating what would be strictly just; but as men seemed to have no idea of justice as be tween themselves and women, I should be obliged to trut to his generosity. What I did ask for was a full and liberal allowance for all family expenses, This ho refusal, and so oc ca-ionally hands me five or ten dollars. It is not mine; I hold it in trust to be dispensed for his family, of which I am a part; it must not bo useel for humanity or the world at large, neitiicr must it be spent for his family in any way of which he does not approve; at least that is tho way I feel about it. "Now I come to the doubts. I remember hearing of a very kind old slave holder who was asked w hy laws were made to prevent the slaves from learning to read. His reply was, 'Bee uise ignorance is the lightest chain with which wo can bind them.' I am begin ning to see the truth, wisdom and kindness of that reply; Unt it is too lato I havo learned to lend.'' She was silent. I could not speak. How ould I urge theories 'against such experience as hers? We sat in silence for a. little while, and then she sa'd: "If I had not assumed equality, if I had deferred iu nil things to my husband's judgement but I could not. I had judgement of my own that would sometimes rise up in protest against his in spite of my self.' My conscience could not accord with his. My tastes seldom did; but those I easi ly relinquished. He has tormented himself and me in vain attempts to make me happy as if I did not know enough to make myself happy, if I cou'd be allowed to. Doubtless he thinks me very ungrateful not to bo hap py with whst, according to his idea.', ought to make me sn; and, if I had no ideas of my own, would. As he is not different Horn the aver age man iu these vespects at least not worse I havo olmost come to the c nclusion that it is not w ell for a married woman to have any judgment, conscience, taste or ideas. I doubt if it is not bet for married women, if they will leant anything, t i-sk their husbands at home. Then if they knew but little before marriage, their knowledge will agree with his and they will be more easily guided by him. I am learning to think it iu a man's place to rule and a womau's to submit. If so, we I who havo been putting women forward and r.,(Xn.T lirv limn.- Oifni.qhnn linvantaila ?, rible mistake. We may as woll look at things as they are. I know Felix is strictly consci entious in hit idea. He cannot possibly see the justice ot placing him iu the- position I have occupied so long." "I don't blame him for that," I said. "It it too mean a position for any one; but he ...-Jk -- ...l... muvmivui ..w.,.-.w n - ought to be able to see that, if it is good enough for you, it is good enough for him." "lie cannot see that 1 havo the same lipht to freedom that he has, vet be is considered, and considered himself, a woman's rights man." "I protest it it not fair to judge all men by your nusoanu. "I admit minor differences, but I think in herent in masculine nature is that which re volts at acknowledging woman's equality in some r-tpectt. That feeling is universal. In every case, I believe, were it put to the teat, we should find that the hutbaud claims some rights he would not be wiling to grant his wife. Bles td is that womsu who happens not to want those particular things. But iu any cose, no t ou not think it is easier for a woman to submit than for a man?" "I cent see that that makes an difference Should a woman give up what she believe! it ruht, simply because it it easier for her? I do not ask to have men submit. There it ni need of submission with either, that I can ae. "But why was this universal love of rule, I this injure.! feeling it hit right to tuperior , privileges W questioned, put into man, and' this willingness to submit put into woman, if not that he should command and she obey." "Yeu remind me of the little Christian boy who wai plaiug marblra for 'keep.' "Hit uunittcr came along aud said in a tine 24, 1882. of rebuke: "Eddy, can you pray about your marbles?' EJdy answered enthusiastically: '0, yes sir, I do every night. The minister was surprised, and said, 'Indeed! what do you pray for?' 'I pray the Lord to help me u:i An -p, iiwna ' Tlion f lift minister asked 'Don't you ever ask him to help tho other boys hit?' And Eddy responded, '0, no, sir; that wouldn't be human nature.' " That boy looked at human nature in its low est developement, and not as it is when puri fied, ennobled and lifted up by Christianity. Your view would bar progress make out that slavery and war should always be. I do not profess to understand all the wherefores of evil; but I believe its whereafter is ultimate extinction; and every form of oppression will sometime aud somehow cease. I don't agree with you that women are willing to be con trolled. Are you?" " "No, but as I tell you, in my desire for knowledge I learned h great many things I did not ask my husband, and that he could not have told me if I had. However, I am trying to forget all I did know." "Are ycu in earnest or joking? It seems too solemn a subject for jokes; but if you are in earnest I must say you have been very suc cessful in your novel attempt." Two big tears, a suddenly boa-ed head and choking sobs were my only answer. I put my arms around her as when we wero girls, and begged her forgiveness. But I could not help saying: "I am sorry you givo up so easily. For your own and for your chillren's sake, even if your husband does not need it, ycu ought to go on making the most of yourself that cir cumstances willallow. I read in a paper the other day, and posted it on my desk for a mot to, 'Let us rather yearn and struggle forever, than accept less than the ultimate best.' I thought it was grand, but I don't know who said it in just those words." She lifted her tear-wet face and said eager ly, "I do. It was Rachel Pomeroy. I read all about her. But it's so hard to know which is the ultimate best" and the eager look died out, the dull patience came into the fr.ee again as she said, "If you could understand what a heavy pressure I have been under year after v ear, you would not wonder that I am sub dued." went away alone to ponder long and sad ly. I thought I would talk to Felix; but when he came home so quiet and serious, so patronzingly affectionate to his wife, so stern, forbidding and impatient to tho children, I, ton, doubted if in her case she had not done well; and I said nothing. But I packed my trunk tnat night, and started for home the next day. Hov glad I was to sie Harold's dear face! As I covered it with kisses, I said; "If I ever thanked the Lord for anything from the bot tom of my heart, it is that I married a man who does uot mako me feel that I am not a human being, nnH cause me to regret that I have learned whjt little I elo know." iromrtt' Journal. Stock Breeders' Directory. TTUnJer thU head we will Dubllsh small adv. r- tUcments, like tho following, tor is per J ear. Larger adicrtisonicnts will be charged in proportion. AVM. BOSS, BREKDER OP SPANISH or AMERICAN MERINO Sheep, Pilot Rock, Umatilla county, Oregon. Send for circulars and descriptions of sheep. Jlypd JOHN MINTO, BREEDER OF HEUllS'O SHEEP, Salem, Marion County, Oregon. DAVID GUTHRIE, TREEDER OF LONG-WOOL and SPANISH I rlno Sheep. rKMnii Pollt Conntr. Oregon. Tne Dundee Norigaae-nnd Trust Investment Co., Llnilleil. Tlie Orrgeu and Wanlilnstou Mortgage inv lags Uantr, Limited. "' I HEREBY INTIMATE THAT, AS THE DUNDEE Mortgr ge fjo , limited, refused upon the 12th day cf December, 1881, to mae, and has not since made anv new Uortg-ge or loaos in Oreron on account, it Is alleged, of the "tax law then in existence being pre judicial to its interests," that 1 accordingly the next day, the 13th ot December, 1881, accepted In Its place aniUtead the business preeloiMy offered to me of the American Mortgage Co., cf Scotland Limited, with a capital of two millions of dollars, And I then tendered the Dundee company my resignation, u hich was not accepted. They then inttructed me to continue to act for tnem in collecting their moneys and remit ing the came to New York, which I hae since done, to the ex tent of Kit 600 for Investment In other states, where tner auegea ine laws wero more lavoraoie to lorelgn capital; that they were aware I consented to act in that position temporarlaly, because they w ere doing no new business here, and, hence their new busineis was hare. lrco the 10th of December, conducted tho busi ness of the American Mortgage (Jouipany, in Oregon; which has, since the retiremens of said Dnndee Mort- fage Co., loaned, through me 9357,000 upon Mortgages u this state and the adjoining territories, to the annoy ance of the said Dundee Mortgage company, whose ob ject, as they stated to me in their official lettors, was to compel the sta'e of Oregon to amend its laws to suit lheir interests, which letters 1 shall publish, If nee e&sar ; that recently the Dundee directors proposed In Edinburg to the dir"ctors of the American Mortgage Co, that I should act as Joint Agent here for both (tho latter company doing its business entirely, however, through tluir Dundee office) which the American Mort gage ex flatly refused to do preferring to treat with mo as thty hae i ecu doing hitherto, direct. The Oregon & Washington Mortgage Savings Dank 01 Oregon, and tho American Mortgage Co., of t-cotland, both ol which I represent, wilt be glad to make loans upon Mortgages in tingon and Woshlrgton territoiy, at the old cilice, 48 First street, upon reasonable terms. November 8, lb3i WILLIAM KEID. The Dundee Inaeslment Co., Limited. IIIEREUY INTIMATE THAT UTON THE 8th DAY ft August, lost tear, 18SI, 1 voluctnly resigned im position as agent ot the Dundee Investment Co., limi ted, and not liaviDg recelred one dollarof salary oroth er remuneration since for my services in connection with its affairs, and that I have been compelled to com mence suit agulust It In the Courts. November 8, l&S. WILLIAM KEID. Oregunian Kallway latnpaay, Limited. I HEREBY INTIMATE THAT UPON THE 8Ui DAY of May lost, ltxit, I voluntarily teudered my resig nation as local President and General Manager of tmt evwipaiiyiiii avwuiit of im srisuMkl. eo pay ms auy salary whatever for my services a such local President and U sneral Manager from ths date wt en It was organized n 1M, and that 1 have now a suit in the U. S. Circuit Court at Portland, against said Railway Company to recover payment of my salary tor two and one-half years' service dovotod to Its iateiesu. November 8, 1881 WILLIAM REID. CIBCCLAB. Ortgem aavd Wathlngts Martaage Savtan Baak t vVrt-gsm M First Street. Wll, KEID, Managing Director.. ... .. Portland, Or. Tth Nov., lstt. rr Sir: The Dundee Murtgags Company havlnr lost w inur discontinued Un making of loans In Oregon, 1 have tines accei ted the badness ot thi American Mortgigt Company ot Scotland, with a capital ul two million dollars, which It now prrpuod (through me) ta receive all Applications for I cans. The American Mortgage Co. 'a business and that ot thle Bank ill be conducted by me at the old office la twv logs Rank ltullding, 48 tint street, where I shall be glad to meet you a any time, and to receive hy mail any Applications tor Lotos you may desire to make looa roe usu you may acaire lo mats. lours raieniuuy, P. a Drawer, No. 80. WILLIAM KEID. U.U.G. BrSMEfttSVBl CATIO.V. COLUMBIA Commercial rVvllcai .Tnnmal lilline 'uil lntciuutton leUUnir to cue ct tho moat rmlieal InsUluuciis let the l)ultma Irainlncct tha cuegaoJ JikMlai t"i ot either sex.) cat tree oo awhcaUen, 9 Mideast Adsullud aay Week aa) lalkr lrar. Address: ' W. S. JAMES, tax MS, Portland, Or. cctSOr PORTLAND BUSINESS COLLEGE (Old "NATIONAL,- Established 1866.) M Front Street, bt. WaabJntn tad Alder FOKTLANn KEON. A. P. ARMSTRONG Principal 1. A.WESC0, Penman and Secretary An Institution dctlmtd for the practical buttatit education of both sexes. zMadw&fy Admitted on any week day of the jou. No vat lion at any time, an! no examlnatioa on enteriu;. ttcholarshlp, for Full BiMlneia Course, $ PEN WORK Of all kinds executed to order at reasonable rates. Satisfaction guaranteed. Tho L'ellege Journal, containing Information of the course of study, when to enter, time required, cort of board, etc., and cuts of ornamental pensuaa shlp, from the pen of Prof. Wesco, tent free. Annaus : A. V. AKMATKONK, Lock Box 104, Portland, Oregon. auglSit JOHN A. MACBONAIiD, Salem Marble and Granite Works. CoBuntrrclaU St., South of Post Office (Post-Offlce Bon 3'J, 8alem, Orcgon.)7 "XT A . IT kAr. T l It E It i: or Scotch and California Cranltt and Marble monuments, Head Stents CEMETERY LOTS Enclosed with California Granite and Stone Walls built of ev ery dcscriptlcn Prices Itednrrd One Half. COUNTRY ORDERS PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. Ague Mixture, evhiils and FeV6r ue pBrmanentlj' cured by Dr. Jayae'ii Agne Mix tstre. With a little caro on the part of the patient to avoid exposure, and the occasional use of Jayne'b San a ttvk PiLM,this remedy will be fount to be certain in its operation, and rad ical in its effects. In many section. of the country" subject to Ague ant other malarial diseases, it hos an es tablished character as a popular spe cific for these harrasslng complaints, and the number of testimonials re ceived show that its reputation is constantlj increasing. Intermittent and Remittent Fevers are effectually cured by DrJjtajrBe'it Acne Mixtare. In these com-, plaints care should be taken to follow the directions closely, and especial attention given to the Uver, which should be assisted in performing its functions by Sx. Jatkb'8 San ati vk Vills. For sale by Hodge, Davis 4 Co., Agents. wm Stfclv, HAS BEEN .PROVED Trie SURE8T CURE for KIDNEY DISEASES. Does a lamo baok or disordered urine indi cate that ycu are a victim P THUW DO NOT HTSITATEj use Kidney-Wort at onoe, (draff Sfct recommend it) and It will Bpeodily over come tne disease and rcstoro Healthy action. am ac x or complaints peculiar and witnesses, Kidney-Wort is wimrpaaeod, U1 1f H1 1 ttssvt tVHVmfttlw ; annli. w v. wB i toot igx. iucii u oain QthcrBex. Zncortinence, retention ofnrfne. (f onox umv: cr roT)TaapoKot aaa ann arrgm C pains, au rwtMny yield to its curative power. tavvt-l BU1M A1U Mi,JUUIi XTlO &. l'i ' Queen t South, FARM MILLS. Far Seek Fata sr Mad ftf FaaaU wa. ' 10.000 X3JT WTJC. W riu far Paaanklat. IBtopton k QMltirfc Co. Mli.aAataatv1 ta M1RI 11 Ifl. Oft. rtvoiUNATI. O. CORNSPBtiNjONS uracM aiiea www, wuiMsWi, mm tni K vverv . TET.J r 5 ff iMIMUMniipni nWWWTUDrrllM B W WTtaJJsTMTW jamtj wj m Jb QjyWislsitlsaV RAILROAD LANDS. Liberal Terms, Lew Prices, I.eug Tinit, - Low, Iul crest. OREGON AKO CALIFORNIA RA1LI10A1) COHFAHT, Orrrn their lands nn sale lton tm, follcrinB liberal terms: Ore-tenth el the price In cash; interest on the balsnce at O e rile ef aorta ar cent oq jrvr after aaJc, and ewh fpHowlejr year one tenth of tie rrinriral and Interest en U bJanca at tka rateot srv,n r-tr ecntoejr annpin. IolU ) ru-iipal Interest pajat'.s Id U. B. Currou-, A dicu t ct ten per cent wir i ne! I"r cash Letter! tVnld arfdreafed rt FAVL SCnriJ'F. LaM Artnt, lt 0. r. 9. .. PertSaaJ. Oitcm 2$( mg bUbbIbVF sstrrSaS tUv sHM T-JF" 1 .irvlfc;;'-. ,-t, t .,?w -" w'l-, u .w.