- WILLAMETTE FARMER; CENTAUR LINIMENTS. One Kind tor the Human Family. Tlio otlicr for Horses and Animate. Tbeeo Liniments ato simply tho wonder of tho world. Their sflccts aro llttlo Ics? than marvellous. The While Liniment la for tho human fatnl ly. It will drive Ithcumatlfm, Sciatica and Ncnraljria from tho (ytem; cures Lumbago. Chlllblaln. Lock jaw, Palsy, Itch and most Cutaucous Eruption; It extracts froet from frozen hands or feet, and tho poi son of bites and stlnge of venomous reptiles; It sub dues swellings, and alleviates pain of every kind. When sprains or bruises occur, It Ii! tho most potent remedy ever discovered te heal tho Injured parts. Tho Centaur Liniment Is mod with great ofilcacy for Soro Throat, Tootlincc, Cnlicd llrent, Ear ache, and Weak Back. Tho following Is but a sam ple of numerous testimonials; "Indiana Home, JBrr. Co., Iml.,Mayas, , 1673. "I think It my duty to Inform you that havo suf fcrrcd much with swollen feet and chords. A few bottles or Centaur Liniment has done- tho work for mo. I havo not been free from theso swellings In eight years. Now I am perfectly well, Tho Lini ment ousht to bo applied wjggj, UR0WN The proof Is In tho trial. It Is reliable, It Is handy, It Is cheap, and every family should havo tho Whlto Centaur Liniment. Tlio Yellow Centaur Liniment Is adapt ed to tho tough mnsclcs, cords and llcsh of horses and animals. It has performed moro wonderful cures, la thrco jcars, of Bpavln, Btraln, Wind-galls, Scratch es, Sweeny, and general Lameness, than all other remedies In existence. Read what the great Express men say of It: "New Yont;, January, 1671. Every owner of horses should glvo tho CrNTAun Liniment a trial, Wo consider It tho best article oy er ttscil In our stables. .. .. .. ,. "It. MAItSH, Sunt. Adams Ex. Stables, N. . K. l'ULTZ.Snpt. U.S. Bx. Stables. N.Y. "ALIJEllT S. OLIN, Supt. Nat. Ex. Stables, N. ." Tho best patrons of this Llnlmintaro Farriers and Vctrlnary Surgeons, who aro continually using somo Liniment. It heals Galls, Wounds and l'oll-ovll, removes Swellings, and Is worth millions of dollars annually to Farmers, Llvcry-mcn, Stock-growcrs, tihccpralscrs, and thoso having horses or cattle. What a Farrier cannot do for $50 tho Centaur Lin Imcnt will do at a trilling cost. Thcio Liniments aro sold by all dealers throughout tho country. They aro warranted by tho proprietors, and abottlo will bo glcn to any Fariicr orl'hyelclttu who desire latest them. Laboratory of J. B. Host: & Co., 10 Dcv St.i New Yonu. Honey. lltclier'H Caatortn Is a complcto snbstltuto Tor Castor Oil, and Is as pleasant to tako as lloncy. It is particularly adapted to Teething and Irritable children, It destroy worms, assimilates tho food, regulates tho Stomach, and cures Wind Colic. Few remedies aro as cmcaclous for Fcvcrlshncss, Croup, Worms and Whooping Cough. Castorlals a scienti fic snd puraly vcgetablo preparation, moro cAVrtlvn than Castor Oil and neither gags nor gripes. I'repar lliv Messrs. J. II. Rose & Co., IrtDcy Street, Now York, from tho reclpo of Samuel l'ltchcr, M. D., of Dunstable, Mass. LUCIUS BHI.Ii, Sncccssor to J. M. Keelzii .Ss Co., 05 Liberty M., - - NKW YOICK, Commission Ajont FOR 11UY1NU AND FORWARDINO FROM Now York via Isthmus, I'acluc Itallroid, and Capo Horn, all kinds of Merchandise, and for tho sale or Product from tho I'acluc coast, for tho collection of money. Ac. octstr J. A. STKATTO.V, Attorney at Law: SAliKM. OHEQON. Offlco en Stato Stroct, opposlto tho llcnnctt House. Final Settlement. TVTOTICK U hereby given that J. M. Drown, Admin Ji lstrator of tho Kstato of Jotcph A. Wright, ha stilt day llled hi final account, and Saturday, tlio 1 lib .lay of April, at 11 o'clock a. m. of raid day ha been llxcd for hearing tho same. Therefore all person in tcrcitedlnsaldestatoarc required to ippcar In tho County Court of Marlon County on or Itef iro tho said day and thowcauso.lfany there be, why said account ,houdnotheallocd. Q Q March HI, 1677w4. County Judge. ATTENTION )HEEP GROWERS!! A SURE CURB FOR Scab, Screw Worm. Foot Rot, AND ALL Farasitos that infest Shoop. TT 13 SAFER. BETTER AND VASTLY CHEAP THAN ANY OTHER EFFECTUAL REMEDY FOR THE TREATMENT OF SHEEP. IT Improves the Health OF THE ANIMAL, AND THE QUALITY OF THE WOOL. t3T Ono gallon Is enough for one hundred to two kunlred Sheep, according to their ago, fctrcngtb,nnd condition. It Is put np in FIVE-GALLON CANS-Prlcc, f 13 per can. Send for circular, to T. A. DAVIS & Co., PORTLAND, OREGON, Wboleaale Aceut for the Stale. Or to your ncart RmU Drejsfct. &TG SS&s if rrii rtiimftpsiii inn iiih- PARBO LI CSH E tTP LTl PJ iAUMCKRODT &Cfl J RsLLOUIS.MoJjf m Oregon Weather. Tho rain comos dropping, dropping down, All o'er our fortllo meadows, All o'ortho woodland pastures brown, And 'mid tho mountain shadows. Tho rain comos driving slowly on In from tho bound loss ocean, At evening tido and early dawn, With an unchanging motion. Somotlmoa it patters and it pours, It Alls tbo streams and hollows, And down tho riven hill-sides roars, And oVr tbo sttnkon fallows. Sometimos tbo folds of murky mist Above tho hill-tops lower, Or fields by doublo raluboWB ktssod Seem grateful for tho showor. In many forms tho blessed rain Brings comfort or brings leisure, Which, earned by hard lnlr-weatkor work, Wo tako with doublo pleasure No wish havo wo to growl or fret At this tbo woalth-bostowlng. Tbo means by which returns wo got For reaping and for mowing. lis truo somo Joys of North or South Aro for this causo doniod us, But cold or drought will shut tho moutb Of him who would derido ua. For health and poaco and suro roturu For well-directed labors Mako us content, nor will wo burn With onvy of our nolghbora. Thon hip! hurrah! for hornoa and hoarts, Nor would wo from thorn eovor; Our sunny Sutcmor's long enough Our wobfoot land foroverl Of tho stars which havo boon studied, wo know tho dlstonco of 20. Among thoso wo may signallzo Sirlus, a sun 2,GSStlmos largor than our own, surroundod by a system of heavonly bodios, sovornl of which aroal roady known, and distauco from us 82,000, 000,000,000 miles; tho Folar star, which is ft doublo star, distanco 2(12,000,000,000,000 miles, and Capolla, distanco -125,000,000,000,0008 spaco which is travorsod by light in 71 years nnd eight months, so that tho luminous ray which roaches us from this lino star In 1S70, must havo startod out In 1605, Capolla might havo bcou extinguished In 1800, but wo should soo it still. It might go out, to day, and tho Inhabitants of tho earth would continuo to admiro it in tholr heiwons' until 1018. Conversely, If thoro oxlstod on tho planots gravitating round Capolla, minds whoso transcoudcut vision could tlionco dohorv our llttlo earth, lost ns It is amid tho sun's rays, thoy would now uco tlio earth of thoyoarlS03, ami Wmim iw7i vmrs. mirnt mouths behindhand n its history. Thoso aro tbo stars that nro ncaroat to us. Tho otn orsaro incomparably moro rotnoto. Thoro aro stars whoso light cannot reach us in less than 100, 1,000, or 10,000 years, though light travola at tho rato of 1S5,000 ratios porsocond. I.voi:iwor,i. on IIaiiI) Monky. Thoro is another question, and that isthoromonotlzu tion of sliver. I do not know how you feel about it In Now York, and Icaro just as llttlo as I know, oxcont for tbo conoral cood. Wo aro a silver producing nation. For what oarthlv reason will wo sliuidor our own wasos? Hllvor In cood enough for mo: It is good enough for you. It will buy broad; It will ouy lauor; ana nnyiuing on oanu moi will buy broad aud labor Is good enough to Eay a dobt. I want to soo good tlmos coining aolttothU oounlry, I Uo not want to HUO everything given up to tho porsons thoy itro ploasod to call tbo creditors of this Govern ment. I want them to havo ovory dollar that Is coming to thorn. If wo havo agrood to pay thorn In coin, lot us pay Just as soon as wo nan, ovory dollar, In coin; but I want It to bo understood that tho debtor is as good as tho creditor, and that tho man who tukos ids coupon down to tho bank ovory morn ing at 10 o'clock is no hotter than tbo man who has dug in tho snow and tho cold for his dollar. PREMIUMS FOR NEW SUBSCRIBERS. Quito n number of persons havo availed thomsolves of our offer to allow n yours sub scription to any ono who will send us threo now names, of subscribers who will pay tholr subscriptions In advance or within tho year, so wo ropoat tho proposition for tho bouotlt of our renders. Any porsou procuring throo now subscrib ers who will pay lu advauco or will pay within tho yoar, cm havo tholr own copy froo for tho presont year. It Is of courso adyisablo to Bond tho money with tho names whoro practicable, but whoro it Is doslrod wo can wait until noxt Fall. Any ono not a subscriber can huvo-tho Faiimiiu ono yoar on tlio satno tonus, Thoso of our frlonds who aro In arrears can havo n yoar'a crodit on aocount for ovory throo subscribers procured for HioFarmkr. All will of courso understand that wo can not crodit thorn until tho subscriptions thoy bond aro paid up. As wo cannot afford to pay travollng agents, wo mako this liberal proposal to any and all persons, whotbor thoy aro subscrib ers of tho Faiimiui or not. Times bolng a llttlo hard, just kcop this mattor in mind and savo something for your selves as woll as holp us. Do all mombers of your Grange or Lodgo, and all your responsiblolnoighbors tako tho FAUMim? If not, why not? If thoy will tako it, you can mako n commission by sending in tholr names, Beaver Glen Nursery. A CHOICE COLLECTION OF ruit AD SMALL Trees FRUITS. G. W. HUNT, Proprietor, Sl'ULIMITY, Plarlou Co. Or FebOrnJ SPECTACLES, SPECTACLES! For Old and Young. Far-Siglitcd and Near-Sighted, KliootliiK-f;iuake for SporUuicn, STEEL, SILVER, AND GOLD FRAMES. I AM prepared to tunplv Spectacle, to lit all eye, at price to nlt. W. W. .1IAUTIN, Jeweler & Optician, Uank Block, btato St. Sijea, May 19, 1670. tin Tho George S, Wright. Victoria. B. 0., April -1. Tho gunboat Rocket arrived to night from tbo north, where sho wontsovontoen days ago to inquire into tho alleged massacro of 10 pooplo bo lonclncr to tho wrecked American stonuisbln GeorgoS. Wright, in 1874. From Sorgoaut IMooinflold, of tho Victoria pollco, wo loarn that two Klnlsgut and two Wakonai wero arrested at ivlnlsgut on suspicion of bolug implicated in tho massacro of tho passengers of tho Georgo S. Wright, aud brought down on tho war vessel. At Kiulsgut viUago, at tho head of Do.iu'a canal, tho oftlcers wero tired at by tho Indians. Tho next morning tho Itockotshellod and burnt tbo village to tbo ground. Sergeant Bloomllold, from In quiries made and facts rovcalod. feels confi dent that somo of tho crow and passoupers reaohod tho shoro ollvo, and woro afterward tnurdorod in cold blood. ViCToniA, I). O , April C Tho most Ror rowful pago lu tho story or tho wrock of tbo VX. a. If AIM", '. A.l w.-'.. v ww . a.w.uu. Tlio Colotist has a lew additional particulars of tho massacro of a portlou ol hor passen gers and crow uy tno inuians ana tuo no structlon ot tbo Indian vitiligo. Tho officers loarnod onough to couvlnco thotu that seve ral of tho shipwrookod persons got aahoro ond woro murdorod by tho natives. Tho story is to tho purport that a numbor of whlto mon canto ashoro in a boat; that thoy had with tbom a box In which woro many papers and a largo sum of monoy in gold andsllyor. Thoy bargained with a party of Klnisgut Indians, who wero bound to Victoria to tako them to Port Ituport for sevon dollars oaoh. Tho whlto mon woro without arms, and whon night camo and all woro osloop, tho Indians murdorod and throw tho bodios into tho seaaftor stripping thorn of ovorythlng of vnluo. Tbo monoy In tho box was dlvldod by tho savagos, who thon camo on to Victoria and spent tho coin. An Indian women says sho picked up tho hoad of a whito man on tlio boach at Capo Caution a fow inontbs after tho wreck aud was told to put it down again, and say noth ing about having found it. Tho olllcors found no property belonging to tho Wright, oxcopt portions of tho wreck which proba bly drilled ashoro. with rospect to tlio destruction of tho vll lago, wo loarn that Sorgoaut llloomtlold laud ed with throo othors from tho ltockot, and domandod four mon who aro suspoctod of complicity In tho murdors. Tho Indians enmo out and rofusod to glvo up tho mon. Tho party thon securod two of tho suspected savagos and mado for tho boat. Thoy wero (trod on but got back to tho ship safely. Captain Harris thon gavotho trlbo six hours in which to Httrrondor tho mon, After tho lapso of six hours, ho oxtendod tho tiiuo thrco hours longor. Ho thon fired blank cartrldgo and tho Indians ran away. Tho Ylllngo was thon nliollcd and afterwards burned, and tbo two mon secured. No ono was killed. An. JmivuvTAnt Bi:ct.sfos Jtulgo Slmt tuck rocontly rondored a decision involving tbo constitutionally of tho Lock Hill passod by tho last legislature, and tho Stato powor in rogard thoroto. Tho quostlon aroso on a writ of mandamus sued out by tho board of canal commlsslonors to compol tho Wlllam otto Transportation and Locks Co. to furnish corllllod lists of tons of frolght and numbor or paisongors passing through tlio locks in accordanco.wltu tho provisions of tho lock bill. Judgo Shatluck hold that It was a roa sonablo requirement aud within tho genoral powor or tho Stato to provido for tho public Interest and wolfaro of tho saino. In closo conuoctlon with tho prlnolplolnvolvod In tho above caso Li tho rocontly nunouncod decis ion of tho Supremo Court or tbo Unltod Htetos, Inthocasoof MunnvsThol'ooplo or Illinois, which roaouod horn slucn tho above decision by Judgo Shattuck. It swims that a numbor or prlvato firms had built olova- tors at Chicago for tbo purposo or storing grain, and transferring it botwoon cars and oats, etc, Afior tlio erection of thoso olova tors tho loglslaturo or Illinois passod an act liiMitiug tho ohargos lor htorago of grain thoreln, Tho Snprotno Court nftor consider ing tho quostlon for fully a year nftor argu ment unanimously decided tlio Illinois law to bo valid. Tho principle Is enunciated that when nrlvato nronorty Is dovotod to a usn in which tho public has nn iutorost, tho otl'oct Is to grant to tho public an Iutorost lu that iiso, and It must submit to bo controll ed by tho public for tho common good to tlio oxtent of tlio interest thus created. Thus Invoking tho homo prlnciplo upon which Statos rogulato tlio motiiods of busi ness and compensation of hackmou. Inn keopors, lorry men, eta. Tlio last Albauy Lute Jouruul prououncos it a loading decis ion, uud that it will tako rank in tholtoportH with tho woll known D.utuionlh Col logo caso. Orr;oiifi. Xoti:. Tho Orcgoniun Is mistaken In tho dato of tho Supremo Court decision roforred to, as It was received hero boforo Judgo Shattuck rondored his decision. Chico Assassins Indicted. San Fiianci&co, April 0. A pross dispatch from Orovlllo savs tho crand lurv to-day presontod a roport aftor a brlof sosslon of thrco daya and u half, They find Indict monts against 1 11. ltoborts, John and Chus, Slaughter, F. W. Stalnbrook and F. K. Con way , for nuirdor of each or tho four China men killed at l.omm's ranch noar Chlcoj for arson, against Wright, Jono.s aud Fay, tho threo Slaughtor boys, Roberts and Conway; for attompt to commit arson against HobortH, John and Clms. Slaughter anil lloldorbaum, Thoso charged with arson will probably bo arraigned on Saturday, aud tho trials will commciico on tho 10th Inst, Tho roport of tho grand Jury closes as follows: "wo llnd thoro has been Inexlstonco In our midst an organised baud of lncondlarles and assassins, whoso crimes may bo compared to thoso of tho worst criminals ovor brouuht to Justlco, aud wo bellovo that some of thorn aro still at largo. Wo urgo uuon tho whoso duty it is to jiursuo with relentloss vigor ovory cluo to tholr Idontlty and punishment." A great deal of dissatisfaction Is exprefesod at what is considered tho hasty and superficial man nor in which tbo jury lias conducted Its in quiry, vory llttlo ell'ort having beon mado to secure tho Indictment of a number of prinon ors, including soveral niuinborn of tho coun cil of nine, who havo been Hot at llborty und havo returned to Chloo. A ronositondont hints that by vlrtuo of their pof.nco thoro additional items or IntoroH .iy kooii bo oxpoctcd. Cleopatra's noedlo is to bo rennvod from Alexandria to Kngland. Clixjfutia having llnished hor towing, und having, therefore no further uso for It. An Iron cyllndor is to be built around It, nlnety.il vo lU-llong by lliteon In diameter, and when tho obelisk has boon wedged In, and tho cylinder mado water tight, tho wbolo sllalr will be rolled In tho sea. It will then bo provided with two bilgo keels, a rudder, light spar deck, mast and lug sail, an anchor and good chain cables, and, if neccessary, a pump, Incuo of leakage Tho cylinder ship will then bo tit to go to any part of tlio world with 1U frolght, and in any weather. Tho cost of tho operation is estimated at ? 15, COO which will bo Increased to ?50,000, by tho tlmo tho obelisk is placed in position on tbo pedestal already prepared lor; It, THE ORPHANS' HOME. Iu n small villago on ono of tho moat bnrrcn districts of tho West of Ireland thoro lived n vory poor widow, whoso solo Inheritance from her husband woro two healthy children, girls, of tho re spective ngos of threo and llvo. Painful ly and by tho utmost effort sho had con trived to pass two years of her sorrowful wldowliood. Bad nnd scanty food, ob tnincil only by labor too grcnt for her delicate frame, hntl nt Inst thrown her upon her sick-bed, nnd death, in pity, removed her In n few days nnd without grcnt suffering, from hor rnrthly troub les. Tile poverty of tho wholo pnrlsh wns so crent thnt nothing could bo done for tho poor orplinus. "If tlio children could only bo got to Kilburn" a vlllngo somo miles distant said one of tho nelghbory, after tho poor mother had been buried, "a brother of their father lives there, nnd ho could not possibly refuso to tnko care of them." So n cmrlcr, who wns going near to Kilburn, us an net of charity, took tlio two girls Lizzie wns seven now, and Mary was five in his cart with him. Toward noou they readied tho spot whero tho enrt would (urn oil. Tho man lifted them out, showed them the road, nnd bid them go straight forward. . . "I am so hungry," sobbed Mary, "Wo havo had nothing to eat all day." Aud ncaiu they both began to cry; for Llzzio was equally hungry. Tlio children wero vory weak, ami could only drag themselves slowly along. Hand In hand they tottered on. At last Lizzlo saw n house. With hesitating steps thoy entered tlio yard, for tltoy had never begged before, iu splto of tholr former misery. Kut at tills moment they could not think of nothing else than thoir tcrriblo hunger. Tlio children, ter rified, stood still nt tho door until an nngry voico censed. Then Lizzie opened tho door and both children entered. Tlio farmer sat iu an nrm-chalrby tho lire. "Well, what do you want'.'" ho harsh ly ashed tho children, who wero too frightened io utter a word and to toll their errand. "Can't you speak?" ho asked, moro roughly, Lizzlo at Inst took courage, and snld, gently: "Q if you would bo so good as to give us tl.j least bit to eat a small plcco of bread a few potatoes." "1 thought so," shouted tho farmer; "I was suro you wero nothing but beggars, although you do not seem to belong to this neighborhood. Wo havo plenty of thoso here, aud wo do not want them to como from other partH. Wo havo not bread for ourselves In the.so hard times. You will get nothing here. Ho oil', tills moment!" Tho children, both dreadfully frighten ed, began to cry bitterly. "Wo havo not enton a morsel tho wholo day," pleaded Lizzie. "Wo nro ho tired that wo cannot movo u step. If you would but glvo us tiio least bit to eat, wo aro no hungry." "I havo told you I would not. Ueggars get nothing here." Tlio farmer got up with a threatening look. Lizzlo quickly opened tho door nnd drew her sister with her. Tho chil dren again stood In tho barnyard, but know not what to do. Suddenly llttlo Mary drew her hand from her sister's elasp aud went to tho other sido of tho yard; there was n llerco dog chained, his dinner stood beloru him In a wooden basin. Mary put her hand lu the basin nnd began to eat with tho dog. Lizzlo went nearer aud saw that lu tho basin there was some liquor lu which u fow pieces of bread uud somo boiled potatoes wero Moating. She, likewise, could not resist; she had but one feeling thnt of tlio most gnawing Hunger; ulio took Bomo of tho bread and potatoes, and eat them greedily. Tho dog, not nocustonied to such guests, looked nt tho children; ho drew back, then sat down and left them his dinner, of which ho had enton hut very little. At this moment, thofariuerstep ped Into tho yard; ho wished ro sco whether tho children had really loft, and when ho saw this singular scene ho was amazed. The dog was noted for his ilerceiicss, mid feared nliko by old and young. J Io was oblidged to bo constant ly chained, and no ono dared to come near him except his master. Kven tho sorvant put his food before him In u most cautious manner. In tho llrst moment tho man thought of nothing but the fearful danger in which the children were, nnd walking quickly toward them oxcluliued : "Dontyotisco tho dog? Ho will tear you to pieces !" But suddenly ho stopped as If rooted to tlie ground; the dog had got up again and gone near tho children; then ho looKod nt his nmsterand wnggcdhla tall, it scorned us if ho wished to say: "Dont drive my guests away!" At thnt Bight n great chnugocamo over tho man; tlio spectaclo boforo him acted like an electric shook, and feelings sneh ns ho novor had before, seemed to stir within him. Tlio children bad risen, terrified at tho call of tho man, und, fearful of punish ment for having eaten, camo with down cast eyes. At lust, aster aeyerrl minutes' silence, tlio farmer said: "Aro you really so fearfully hungry thnt you do not oven despise tho dog's food? Como in, then, you shall havo somothing to eat, anil as much as you like." And then taking tltm by the hand ho led them into tho house, culling out to tho servant, "Biddy, get somo hot bread und milk, und bo quick, for these children." Thy dog had shamed his master the bruto had shamed tlio tuau. Ho seated tho children nt tho table, sat down by them, and kindly asked them their names, which thny cave him. "Do you know my nnmo, chllilron?" "No," replied Lizzie. 'How happened It, then, that you havo como to mor" ho asked. "Has nny ono sent you io mo, " "Nobodyjlias sent us," ropllcd Llzaie. Wo Woro to iro tn Iv II fill i-ii. wlmrn n. biothcr of our father lives, nnd they said ho would gladly recolvo us. 33utl do not believe It, for our mothornl ways said ho Is a hard-hearted man, who docs uot care for his relations." "Your mother wni qulto right whon sho said so," 8ald tho farmor. "But what will you tlo if this hard-hearted man ooes not reeeivo you?" "Then wo will hnvo to 8 swered Lizzie. starve," an- "No, not" oxclnimsd tho man, quick ly. "It shall novor como to that novor! pry your toars. Tho merciful Uod ha9 hnd pity on your helplesncss, nnd has mado uso of a flerco bruto to soften tho heart of your unole, and therefore ho will novor forsake you nover." Tho Mhlldren looked at tho man In bo wlldermout; they did not qulto under stand what ho said his words nnd his behavior wero nliko strango to them. This lie soon perceived, for ho ndded: "You aro going to Kilburn to Patrick Sullivan; you nro already thoro! I am your unolo, and now thnt I know thnt you nro tho children of my brother Mnr tln. t mrko you welcome." Tlio children's tenrs quickly changed into smiles, nnd tlio meal which Biddv Just put on tho tnblo for them mado them torget tnoir grior. A kind Provldonco had directed tho children's steps, but If tno dog hnd not taught tho man a lesson of kindness, who knows what might af tor all become of tlio poor orphans. AVt Icm Arytis). A man was landed at tlio ferry dock yesterday, dripping wet, and shivering till the rattle ot his teeth could be heard forty foot away. Whon taken Into a sa loon to thaw out somo ono passed around the lint, remnrking that tho victim was n poor man. Tho man two whom tho hat came llrst called out: "Whero was it that you fell Into tho river?" "On tho Canadian side," was tho reply. "Then uot ono cent from me." continued tho man, "Its every truo patriot's duty to succor thoso who full into American wa ters, but I'll bo htuigod If I'm going to help run two countries!" And the col lection amounted to only four cents. An Intemperate printer Isn typographi cal crr-er. Retiring early at night will surely shorten a man's days. As you cannot avoid your own compa ny mako It ns good as possible. "Sir you hayo broken your promise." "Oh, nevermind! I can mako another." The motto of tho Chlneso race iu "No chin chin." It Is a good motto for any one. Knvomoro than thou alio west, Hpenk loss than thou knowost, loiul Io-jm than thou owest. Thero is a general falling oil' of llttlo boys who try to rhlo on tho behind end ot tv street car. A burning barn In Germany so warm ed up nu orchard that the trees boro new leaves aud blossoms. Tlio mnn who sang "Cub, oh, cub wld me," is supposed to have been In tho habit of going nut bear-headed. Uccauto n man who attends a flock of sheep Is a shepherd, makes it no reason that a man who keeps cows should bo a coward. "Doctor, pleaso cut along tho .enm," said an ellectlouatu wife to a physician, who was cutting open her apoplectic husband's shirt. A man out West, who nd'orod ball for a friend, was asktd by fhu Judgo if ho had any Incumbrance nu his lurm, "Oil, yes," raid lie, "my wife." Sot ytrtirnmrk high in tlio world, mul then movo toward It. Do not wait for homohoily to lilt you up to tho phtco you iispiro to lilt youiyelf. Avoid nil hoa.stlng.s und o.vnggora tions, ithtiho und ovll speaking, slung phrases and oaths In uoiivorantion; do preciuto no mini's qualities, uud uccopt hospitalities iu it hearty and npprocia tluu iiiauuor; If you givo oM'enco, imvo tho niiinllims.4 to upologiso; lufiiso its much olognnco ns possible iutoyotiructs nnd thoughts; avoid vtilgarltioH, uud you will grow in tho rospuct of othors. mid says, "Karly to ryes, and lato to bod, inoltua fortune nnd bustn your hoad." ItuliatiH prefer siialiH to oysters. I'orhapu bocaiiHo tlio Jazy-roul pooplo cm catch them easier. Farmers novor wait idly lor Koniothlng to turn up. Thoy Just tako a plow uud forco business, A nation has no lodgment till It can Judgo Itsoli. And this grout udvautueo is of Into attainment. Vanity is as 111 at oano undor Itidlfl'oronco as teudernotH Is undor u lovo which It can not return. Wo cannot bo too thankful oven for small tnoruies, but wo may bo troublod about small miseries. IiKiulsltlvo noonlo aro tho fannols or con- vernation; tuey uo not tauo . ..-r ... . ... in anvthlnu for tholr own use, but merely, pass it to an- other. "Bablos aftor having takon ono bottlo of my soothing syrup will novor cry any moro," says u celebrated compounder of soothing syrups, Tho man who wears gum shoes has no muslu in his solo. Tho infant bridgo at Brooklyn Is bolug put up on crudlo wires, When dlplitliorla is about, nil bubloH should kick against being kissed. HhopkeoporH who soil goods on Sunday put up tholr shutters for a blind. liven a falso hot of tooth may havo a sllyor lining. Two of a trado soldom agroo. Health and tulrtU ccato Louty, i I i - jd i- f! ! i x ,- ! l"