: -J,
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i
WIDOW SMYTH'S HUSBANDS.
Tho Widow Smyth cnllccl at Mr.
Mix's marble yard tho other day, and
the following conversation ensued:
Mrs. Smyth. Mr. Mix, I am anxious
to have my cemetery lot fixed up, to nut
In new tombstones and reset the railing;
and I called to see if I could make some
satisfactory arrangement with you.
Mix Ortalnlv. madam. Toll mo
precisely what it is you want done.
Mrs. S. Well, I'd like to have a now
tombstone put over tho grave of John
my husband, you know and to have a
nice inscription cut on it. "Here lies
John Smyth," etc. You know what
I mean; tho usual way, of course, and
iniy bo some kind of a design on the
stone like a broken rosebud or some
thing. Mix. I understand,
Mrs. S. Well, then, what'll you
charge mo for getting up a headstone
like that, out of pretty trood wliito mar
ble, and a little picture of a torch upside
down, or a weeping angel on it, and
tho name of Thomas Smyth cut on it?
Mix. John Smyth, you mean?
Mrs. S. No, I mean Thomas.
Mix. TJut vou said John before.
Mrs. S. I know: but that was my
first husband, and Thomas was my
second, and I want a new headstone
for each one of them. Now it seems to
mo, Mr. Mix, that where a person is
huying more than one that way, you
ought to make f-omo reduction in tho
price tiirow something oir. Though,
of course, I want a pretty good article
at all the irr.ives. Not anything gor-
peous, but neat and tasteful, and calcu
lated to please tho eye. Mr. Smyth
was not a man who was fond of show.
Give him a thing comfortable, ai.d ho
was satisfied. Now which do you
think is the prettiest, to have tho name
in raised letters in a straight lino over
tho top of tho stone, or just cut the
words "Alexander P. Smyth" in a
kind of f-emi-cirelo in sunken letters?
Mix. Did I understand you to say
Alexander P.? Wcro you referring to
John or Thomas?
Mrs. S. Of course not. Aleck was
my third. I'm not going to neglect his
grave wnilo l am fixing up the rest,
ject to tho same law of improvement?
'V li n f oL ! 1 1 o M f 1 in rn o n rl ro 1 1 o.f n H n
in selection of particular animals, should
finally give us breeds that keep easily,
fatten easily, maturo early, and have
all tho desirablo points required in
swine? And yet there aro farmers
who think the hazel-splitting, razor
backed, alligator hog just as good as
any. They must bcliovo tho world
Stands still; that there is no change, no
improvement in anything. Such far
mers q class old fogies,
The Comforts of Life.
I wish to make a complete job of it, Mr.
Mix, whilo I'm about it.and I'm will
ing for you to undertake It, if you are
reasonable in your charges. Now what
will you ask mo for the lot, tho kind
I'vo described, plain but substantial,
.and sunk about two feet, I should think
at tho head of each grave? What will
.vou charge mo for them tho whole
four?
Mix. Well, I'll put you la these
three head-stones
Mrs.S. Four headstones, Mr. Mix,
not three.
Mix. Four, was it? No, there was
John and Thomas and Alexander P.,
that's nil you said.I think. Only three.
Mrs. S. Why, I want one for Adolph
too as a' matter of course; tho eumo as
tho others. I thought you knew I
-wanted ono for Adolph, ono just liko
John's with tho name different. Adolph
was my fourth husband. Ho died
About four years after I buried Phillip,
und I'm wearing mourning for him
now. Now pleaso givoino your prices
for tho whole or them.
Mix. Well, madam, I want to bo
reasonable as I can, and I'll tell you
wjiat I'll uo. You, give me all your
work in tho future and I'll put you In
thoso flvo headstones ut hardly any
thing alwvo cost, say
Mrs. a. lour lieatlstones; not flvo.
Mix. I think you mentioned flvo.
Mrs. S. No, only four.
Mix. Loss see; thoro was John and
Thomas, Aleck, and Adolph and Phil
Jp. Mrs. S. Yes; but Aleck nnd Philip
were the same one. His middle name
was Philip, und I always called him
Phil.
Mix. Mrs. Smyth, I'll bo much
obliged to you if you'll tell mo precise
ly how ninny husbands you have plan
ted in that cemetery lot. This thing is
getting a little mixed.
Mr. S. What do you mean by say
ing "planted'."' I never planted any-
hody. It's disgraceful to use such
language.
Mix. It's n technical term, madam.
AVo always use It, and I don't see that
Jt's going to hurt any old row oreorpcs
jiamed Smyth. Planted is good
enough for other men, and is good
jonough for thorn.
Mrs. S. Old row or What d' you
mean, you impudent vagabond? 1
uoiiUln'tlorymi put a headstone on ono
of my grave.-, if you'd do it for nothing,
Then Mrs-. Smyth bounced out of the
shop, and Mix called after her as alio
went out tho door,
"Lemmo know whim you go for
another man, and I'll thiow hint in a
tombstone fora wedding present. He'll
want.it soon."
Mrs. Smyth Is now looking at head
stones in aniarblo yard in Wilmington.
. ytnirilfe American.
Only about 000 years ago our English
ancestors, even among the irlstocracy,
had leaves and dried gras for beds; the
earth was their floor, and rusbesserved
in tho lieu of carpets. It is but little
more than 100 years ago since woven
carpets were used, and but littlo more
than GO years since they came into gen
eral use. Yet our ancestors of 300
years ago weroas virtuons, and in their
way as connortaoie as ourselves; al
though tho nobles then had fewer of
what wo call luxuries than tho well-to-do
mechanic, or tho ordinary fanner
now-a-days.
Too many look at tho gloss of city
nie anu imagine the interior to bo as
pleasant ns the outward show isglittor
ing. Many fanners seem to suppose
they have fewer of tho comforts of life
than thoso who lalnir daily in our citifs
at tho various mechanical trades. If
so it is their own fault. They have the
farm and garden todrawupondircctly,
whilo the other class must buy, at
greatly enhanced prices from the cost
of production. Fanners have only to
pay a littlo more attention to tho crar-
as well as the farm; and to the dairy as
well as the meadow, to secure moro
real comfort than nine In ten of all the
rest of tno population; and a largo pro
portion oi that other tenth woukl glail
ly bargain that which mere wealth
gives, to bo assured of the sweet sleep,
tho robust health, and tho good appe
tite of that class of farmers who, with
a productive garden, a good orchard,
and thoso other accessories that go to
make the real farmer have real comfort.
Ho hns nine-tenths of tho comforts of
lifo within easy reach, and tho easv
means of securing tho other tenth. If,
however, among tho comforts of life
aro classed tobacco, alchohol, Jewels and
other gow-gaws; their com fort becomes
a mere arbitrary and artificial thing,
and alters the complexion or tho case
materially.
however, that if thoy can go to Wash
ington and see tho President, and get
tho nssurance that they will not bo mo
lested in their new homo by the whites
direct from the President's mouth,
iknn ni i,n cnH0prl to have a new
reservation assigned them. livery
year wo hear of a delegatiou of Indians
generally headed by tho most blood
thirsty and treacherous Indian in the
tribe, being taken to Washington for a
talk with tho President, and wo do not
on wlivnrclnrlvnnd well-beliiiveulnui-
ausliko thoso at Umatilla ought not to
be trpnti'd nnunllv well. Walla Walla
Union.
A "Poor Max.s Fiuknd." Moro
than ono generation havo sung the
praises of good old David MoWayne,
ono of thu early settlers of Oxford
C.'oiintv. Aliiini'. lie lived in Water-
ford, and tho place of his lcsidence is
fetill known as "Mc Wayne's Hill," in
honor of him
O. W. LAWSON. O. CCTTINO.
XiAWBOXf Ji CUTTING,
Attorneys at Law, ami Ileal Eh-
tato AgenlM.
SALEM, .-- - - OREO OX.
Office In tno old Court-House. Jan. l.lSTO-tf
SELLING OFF AT COST!
HERRMAN
&
r
Hd
nAVINU COSrWIWD TO WIND IT THEIR
Im Iniit, uou- offer t" tlio public tlidr
WeZi-SSdXsoted Stock
Anecdote of Alexander Hamil
ton. Hamilton was oiue applied to
for professional assistance by n man of
Now ork, who held the guardianship
of several orphan children. These
children, then very young, would on
coming of age, if they had their rights,
succeed to tho posession of a largo and
valuable estate. In tho title deeds of
this estate, tho guardian had discover
cd material defects, and ho thought he
saw a way, with assistance of an able
lawyer, by which ho could secure the
title to the whole property to himself.
Ho opened to Hamilton the whole
business, exhibiting copies of tho title
deeds, and explaining how. ho would
like to proceed. And ho promised the
great jurist a largo reward if ho would
undertake tho business, Hamilton
said he must give to a matter fro impor-
tent duo thought beforo ho decided,
and set a time for his client to call
again.
Tho guardian called ai cording to
appointment. Hamilton had put in
writing faithful minutes of their former
.conversation, which upon his second
visit ho read aloud.
"I think," said Hamilton, when ho
had finished reading, "that is a true
statement of your plans."
client.
I may
Oi.dFooy Farmers. Is not n far
mer an old fogy who will continue to
breed tho common scrub hogs of the
country, when there is undoubted tes
timony from every ono who has tried
tho improved breeds, such as tho Dork
shires. Polund-Chinu, Ac, that there is
A wiving of at least 2,' to.r0 per cent. In
feed, in producing u cortaln number of
pounds ot pork, by keeping tho Impro
ved breeds? Is It not evorywhero ad
mitted that some animals will fatten
moro readily than others, on less fooit?
That somo breeds of cattle are eminent
or thoir butter producing qualities, and
others for their beef producing proper
tics? That somo breeds of sheep aro
noted for wool, and others for tho
quantity and high quality of mutton
tliey produce. That somo hor.cs are
noted for tht-lr t-peed its. runner.!? It Is
.Irsi'ae, then, tutu lioirs bliould be sun
"Yes. sir." answerod tho
"that is correct And now, if
ask. what buvo vim (lopiilirl'
"I will tell you, sir," replied Hamil
ton, sternly: "vou nie now eomnlotclv
in my power; and I consider myself as
tao future guardian of these un fortune
ato orphans. I have decided that you
will settlo with theni honorably, to the
very last penny, or I will hunt vou
from the burfaco of the earth!"
It may bo unnecessary to add that
tho fal.-e-lieartcd guaidian did not pur
sue his nefarious &chemo any farther.
In the Fnited States S3,)00 men arn
employed in mining' and oO.GOO.COO
tons of coal are mined yearly. In Penn
sylvania tho death rate exceeds that of
Great llrltuin. Tho do.ith rate In Ohio
was nNo greater last year than that of
England, but this year it will bo les-,.
The most damrerous mines in tho rTni.
ted States am in Schuvlkill County.
ronn., one man being killed there for
every ;ki,oih tons mined. One man i-
killed in England for every i;W,t)00 tons
mined, one in Pennsylvania for every
83,000 tous, and one hi Ohio for oveo'y
i:t;i,000 tons. The de.-truution of human
life ought always to bo conMdored
whon making complaints about dear
fuel.
Ho was an eccentric man, but a true
friend to tho unfortunate, and when
David McWayno died, the poor men of
the section lost their ciuei stay.
On n certain seaon tho corn crop
failed almost entirely in tho county.
It was McWayne's custom to keep a
year's supply ot corn on hand in ad
vance; uud then, again on his elevated
land, the late frosts of spring and early
frosts of autuin did not trouble him as
they did his neighbors of lower-lying
farms. And so it came to r.ass in this
winter of (-carcity, David Mc Wayne
had enough to spare. Somo people
over in the adjoining town of Norway,
iicarincr that lie had nieant.v oi oreau-
stufi', and knowing his liberality, drove
over for tho purpose of purchasing.
They asked him it ho had any corn to
spare. "Yes" said he, "I have corn to
spare. They wanted twenty bushels.
"Have you any money to pay for it?"
ho asked.
"Yes, sir." answered tho spokesman
of tno party. "Wo should not have
come without money."
Then, gentleman," said McWayno
with calm decision, "I cannot let you
have corn. If you have money, you
can send to Portland for it. I am sur
rounded by poor people, who havo no
money und no corn. I must supply
them, and let them pay mo in work
Thoy would sutler else."
And through that long, winter,
David Mc Wan vno adhered to his reso
lution No man who had the money to
pay for it could bay his corn; but to tho
poor uud penniless lie emptied his gar
ners, allowing them to wonc lu roturn
for him, at their own convenience.
If aw Fork Ledger.
Orator' and tiii-' grange. Ora
tory, is essentially an art. Given the
genius, or the original faculty for its
exercise, the material of discourse be
ing added, such as facts, arguinonts,
and illustrations, which aro always and
only to be accquired by arduous indi
vidual toil, this art, liko evory other,
is onlyacquired through the diligent
practice' ot it. Tho most natural and
appropriate place in tho world for this
is in the subordinate grange. ItalFords
full opportunity and should supply
every stimulus in this direction, ir it
is not made available in this way,
thoso who asnire to be effective nubile
speukers, who are envious of the acqui
sition of others in this direction, and
who mouru the absence of opportuni
ties and advantages of self-culture,
may well question wiiothor tho defi
ciency is not nearer homo and more
personal to themselves. In short, they
lack tho first elements of progress in
self-culture, viz: the ability to seo and
seize tho oiportunity for it. The fault
lies at their own door, and the blame
of wasted opportunities, or tho credit
of improved ones, lies there too. Now
wo have expectetd as one of the edu
cational fruits of tho gr.mgo organiza
tion, to see developed an effective
power in public discourse among tho
tanner class.
EIEI&
IlfflMill
Want to no to Washington.
Tho head men of tho Indians at tho
Umatilla Agency wish to w?nd a dele
gation of Indians on to Washington to
talk with tho Prosidont. They see
that thoy aro being hemmed in on all
sides by whites, that the grass on tho
Ileservatiou is being eaten out and des
troyed, and that their people aro being
uutUM-ii iiy cuiliaci wan mo White
mey icei mat tuey niiibt havo a now
location set apart to them, and that it
would to their advantage to have some
thing of the kind done, but tliev aro
fearful that if they leave the present
reservation they will not bo protected
in thoir new home, and have misgiv
ings that In n few years they will again
bo surro.uided hv white Mttlir. mni
i 1 ------ - - ..--- ,,..,.
I win oo njj uu crowuou out. They say, j
Make the jJkst or Yourself.
Are you making the best of yourself?
Aro you using to the best advantage
the iintur.it powers of body and mind
given you by your creator? Or aro you
droning through lifo in half oll'orts,
and steadily drifting behind men of
less ability than your own-men who'
with fewer talonts than you possess, are
making tho best of themelvs? Think
ot ibis. Put tlio question to yourself
as we put it to you, do it Honestly.
Look the matter right in tlio face.
Aro you making tlio best of yourself?
If not, begin n new lifo at once. Do
your host in everythlng-in your think
ing and in your doing, ltiso out of
iiidoknco und bi'lf-iudulneuce. und not
only will the world bo tho better for it
but you will bo Letter for having lived
in the world.
Messrs J. II. Spears it Son, Tallula,
111., havo sold to Mr. George Fox,
Harefleld, Wllnislow, England, the
roan hotter calf S2nd Duchess ofAir
drio calved Juno UO, 1875, by 24th Duko
Airdrle, 1725, out f 10th Duchess of
Airorto ny loth Duke ofThornsdnle
(2S4os;, for $22,0(W. This is the calf
that was bought by messrs. Spears &
Sou at Messrs. I(. li. Groom & Son's
sine tor 517,500.) She has changed
hands twico in to than threo months.
Messrs. 11. B Groom & Son ravaftl:! -
000. and sold her at a profit of $5,500,
and now Messrs. Spears & Son make
$1,500 on their recent puacease, Live
Stock liccord.
Jl? OOSi'X'1 1
Don't
Wo wflro-t.i.rdv,uowxi by T. Q. Hen
dricks an improved Poublu Sdmr oulthator
tout wvsder, nnuio by Ins, Sliorrill ut Jfurris.
uv.rg. 'iiil- iimi-iiiiifiMaH rtiorvuirli'y lusted
lust joir huO .-it) v ! Mtiwrtitluu, slnco
vuoii linj ro3'i.'uu m li. n uivto which
and jnturt'li- :o it vt'.t. Tno uiAoliltio
has cwo s.''s -!" pl(wp,mi Urn Medina npjni.
nuns K t imUi- io it,e Liouluui u-edtr.
('and. , i
For
Ask
Credit
NORTH SALEM STOEl
W. JL,. WAJDE,
A T THE BRICK STORE, HAS JUST Irtpr
JX. od a mil asMU-tmentof
General Merchandise,
wyweouB,
Groceries,
Boots & Shoea
Hardware.
nijLi . ' I
Aoiaing
BonchU
Calcn luted for tho Cltrarid Country Trada.
low, and will ho fold at as SMALL a ritOPIl" . I
those who SELL AT COST. fCrUowlh acllviril f!l
. nwon Mi. prn . Ml
inv part ol tho cltv free of charirp.
Norfir
B90THBY & STiPLETON,
Manufacturer and Dealer in
Sash, Doors, Blinds; and
ETC., ETC.
BRACKETS,
And all Kinds of Scroll-Sawisg.
FACILITIES AVn ,,
wood-ttorklni mt.chlncn in
. ( lol jj ii (li ,ir. t .. j
nii wuc liliiUCCmcntff
vta vino Tin: urst
JL1 lfttcU
HERBffiAZS & HIRSCE'S,
As Wo are
determined
to close out
our entire
Stock,
FOR CASH ONLY!
NOTICE;
lmDrovcd
manufacture tho ahovo arllcl'
to customirn. Aim,
Ty OOB-TC2XIHI3N O,
In all Its varieties.
Ordero from the Country
Promptly attended to.
Office and Mannf&ctory, cor. of Front and State street?'
tnr.89 ST,EM. dwtf
ATTENTION
isSHEEP GROWERS!!
ysfe
XCARBOLICSHEEPDlPj
aleAtUNCKRODT B&&.
Scab,
All
Person EmlebtedTtoiTus
will plen.se bottle luicticillatcl',
by Cnsu r IVute, andsnro Ex
pense. HERR3TAN & HIRSCH,
risvoUI3 RIocIt,
Sept. 3 SAI-KWr, Or.
. Pure-fired Fowls for Palo.
LIGnT AVD DMtVr IIIUIIIIW TSUW co
chins, Hondans, Mhxr and Gold (Spangled Po
lands. SicrSpinelcd nnmbnrc, BlAfk-liriii:d
Kcd Oame, English DorUujts, Whlre China Ooeso,
Larjro Bronze Turkey. Hcu Ep, $J p.r doen.
white China Gccbo Eggs, 5 per docn.
Pure-Bred Sheep and Goats.
Spanish Mer'no. New Oxford'htro and Cotswold
Cross, and Merluo Grades, Thorouahhrpd and ttnded
Angora Goats. J.I1.IM.KUIMI.
Salem Feb. 18, 1S75. t,m
400,000 FRUIT TREES,
All ot t!ne Host Varieties.
G. W, WALLING & SON,
Onwoio, 0-.,
Have this number of
Fruit and Ornamental Trees,
For sale, in their cxtcmho Nursery, indudhi" the
reaiarkablo
WAITING'S
A SURE CUUE FOH
Screw Worm.
Foot Bot,-
AND ALL
Parasites that infest Sheep.
TT 14 SAFEH. BETTER, AND VASTLY CHEAP
T1IAN ANY OTIIKIC EFFECTUAL REMEDY FOB
THE TREATMENT OF SUEEP. IT
Improves the Health
OF TUB 'ANIMAL, AND THE
QUALITY CP THE WOOL.
53? Ono gallon Is enonsh for ono hundred to two
hundred aheep, according to their age, strength, anil
condition.
It Is put up in FIVE-GALLON CANS-Pricc-; 410-
per cm.
Send for circular, to
T. A. DAVIS & Co.,
PORTLAND, OREGON,
Wliolenale AroiiIh lor the Mate,
Or to your nearest Retail Druggist. mr6
WOOL BAGS
.AND..
3rr,iix JEfcioliJS
AT THE
SALEM BAG FACTORY
AND
Sm
mm 5twm
T. Cunningham & Co.'s,
AT SA3T FRANCISCO PRICES.
Balem May 11. 1674. d&wtf
To Farmers and Others.
o tlK'rcimu ranustlr raiicl Furmt.ru and others '
ho require Fa m UanS. ..labor tff any kim, ?olrn!
niidiatU. coaimunluto with us and v.o will cladlv
,'"?' c 1",,,r,,cl1 I",,"r f"-' "' chaw on our
part. I'leaso state iliu w.t.;e t ilem.1, tl.e class olmen
you want, and for h lV.n . ..i'.."...:? -.!. i"
sw; an? & ;W
- .....WVM.P, f,llvtU. I
from lu to a n
should be addietsul,
PEACH PLUM,
XIio Xtuliuu Prune,
And rho best arlttlesof
HMuui,
Prune,
Peach,
Apple.
Pear,
Cherry,
Nut and Shade Trees,
IN FULL ASSORTMENT. wt,
Send for Descriptive Catalogue
Rnildilli'. Pi i-ll.inrl
each day, to whoj all letters
W H. I.ADD.
U. OOLDrMilIT.
H w hjrhi:tt,
O LBINFNWEHKR,
K... o , WILLIAM KKU, '
htate Lommlrtinners of Jmmisn-ailon.
Attorney at. Luw,
SLEM. ORiqoN.
Offlco ri3r tin Old Court-Uowe,
CASH PAID FOR &DES.
The Highest Market Price
PAID FOR
Hides, Pelts, Doer, and Elk.
Skins,
And HlB Kinds; or rsirs,
JO)lNW. GILBERT,
Ow.USH. s , LESr
SALEM FOUNDS Y, &
BXncliiuo Slioj),
SALEM OREGON.
B. P. DRAKE, Prop'r.
1ITEAM ENQINE3. BVVVMILLS, ORIST MILLS.
3 Heapeii. Iurap., and all kinds and tyles of Ma'
entnery raa la to order. Mm hlnery rei.aired at a wt
K.1 h1101? ff,u'w donB ta it'; varlou's'fom
Ihw'J.SRi0'.?8" n ,lmn CastlDM lornlshedVt
su.t notice. wAlsn, cssnnfactarer of KNTCRPniSH
S1IAP.E&. M MATW,R- 3 MnCKKKSlfl
iiiAimui MavJwtl
1l$&a-tPi f ,',"'.a . Ani ,K
., WW frvn.. Jin A l.r tv., tl.LvW3,lij.
U.v'i!. -V
; ffjT Y'
A'kr
, -iv-