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Newspaper English of 1884.
Picked np a paper bera to-dar.
And, by my conscience, I must say.
That tney da write In the funniest wayl
Borne time ago, oyer my cap,
Went sound asleep Jutt woke op;
Must bare been well, let me see
Eighteen hundred fifiy-tnre.
Cow came along bell w raid tinkle;
Roused me up second old Winkle;
Fell asleep, by IS'ir say so,
One and thirty years ago.
'Bout that paper? I was struck
All In a heap, Sir Just my luck;
"Miss Susan Bmller '11 etocute
Thursday evening." I stood mute;
Never, In all my life, had beard
Of such an outlandish, barbarous word.
Eloeutel Elocutel I do declare
Bit my whiskers; pulled my balr;
Looked in my Webster 'twasn'i there;
Oave the thing up in wild despair
Said to myself, it's mighty qualrl
Pretty near choked myself with rage,
Paper set forth on another page
Wonderful piece of local news
"People up town are going to tnUixut
And then the thing get worse snd worse,
"To morrow the people anlverse;
"July 4 th hsppy to state
'People are golog to declaratti
Think I'd better shut up shop,
"Mr. A. B. Is apaUantAron;
And then, look here, why bless my eyes,
What In the world is BamarckUcf
Eyes of mine you can't be trusted! .
"(Joal-oll factory all combusted;"
"OircumtrtncK your favorite fruits;
"Mexican Kmpire molutet;"
And, since the days I went to Bshool,
What sort of thing is a pttfmdtaUtf
Reading along why, bless my fate I
Here's a man who's going to oraUt
Wby, what on earth's this paper about?
Oo atark mad If I don't nntl out.
Must be French, and yet I vow,
Never heard of the word till now.
Folding paper undecided
Dear met soma one's htrmicidti.
Laid down paper right away;
For, my conscience. I muil say
Thst they do write In the funniest wsy.
It. W, Lowrie, in Bolton Tranicrtpt.
White Lies.
(By Elba B. Ajtthojct.
There ore many people who would scorn
to
Conservatism in Dress Reform.
( From the Paciflo Rural Press.)
"Variety is the spice of life," and I fancy
oven Mary Mountain would not care to see
all men droased in black cloth or all women
in brown waterproof. Nature is prodigal in
coloring and ta.sloful in all things; and bocnuso
the pansy is an humble flower seems no reason
that she should not wear a putplo nnd golden
gown.
Tho world would be all too sombro a place if
we did not havo many colors to onliven it. And
I should not liko to havo nil tho flowers cut by
tho samo pattern oithor. Even naturo follows
fashions and presents us with pleasing variety.
Did your over notice a bod of petunias, portu
laoas, or annual pinks, and note the almost
endless marking) and beauties they each day
present and in spite of Damo Fashion's freaks
and frailties I confess to a sligibt liking former
devious ways. Perhaps it is a lingering rem
nant of that total depravity with which modern
reformers lovo to accuse, nil woman kind, in
this day nnd generation. And yet I havo not
thought it worth while to consult n. miHtm ..
the "perch" of my lint, but weur it on the top
of my head where it was intended to be worn
nor do I need to wrnr "pointed hoela" when
thoro nre so many kinds of comfortable Bhoes
and slippers to bo found.
Paul snys something about "using but not
abusing things," and although not n great
favorite with me in Bome things, I thiuk his
idea might unfely be applied to fashion in
dress. We ull know how somo people will
abuse very good Ihiugs. I hnvo tuought thnt
somo people oven abused reHuinn. TJi (ii,.i
about it at all unseemly times. They oroaked
at sin and wiokediioss. Tlicy quoted plati
tudes by the sooro. And yet I never blamed
religion, Ve may doplore their want of taste:
nnd their idoa of the fitness of thiugs may
seem incongruous nnd out of place, but we
cannot consistently blnmo religion. Tho fault
is iu the porsou, in his temperament nnd his
eduoytiou. And I am Borry to say that these
peoplo cannot be reformed in a day oither. It
must be a gradual education. H.. it Lin.
some women, they can't exeroiso good tost in
dress, because it is not a part of their naturo to
do so. Their iumte vulgarity or a oomniendablo
ambition prompts thorn to exeell in everything
thoy undertake, whether it bo iu out, oolor or
material, nnd it will take many years yet to ed
ucate them out c.f theso lingering romnants of
barbarism. But how will it be done. By alms
ing fashions? No, I thiuk not; but by iinprov
ing their taste, by eduoattug their heart and
mind; by placing other and wiser objeota beforo
them for competition, by presenting u nobler
ambition even if it be to reform the world in
politics. And I don't oousider it necessary that
they altogether reform tbeinselvos first either
seeing that the other reform is needed so much
tho worst. M -r m
tell a deliberate falsehood, but who are adepts
in fibbing sometimes unintentionally, no
doubt; and when remonstrated with, "wilt reply
with a toss of their beads: "Oh I that was
only a white lie; everyone ttlls those,"
When Cliudine asks her friend's opinion of
her new bonnet, and Victoria answers: "It's
peiiectly divine, and so becoming to you, my
love;" she knows that she is uttering a white
lie, for in her heart she thinks the bonnet is
hideous.
Even you. sir, admire Jones' horses to his
face, nnd then tell a confidential friend that
you never saw such "sorry-Iooking animls."
And you. madam, tell a white lie. when von
press your friends to prolong their visit, tell
ing them that you cannot live without them,
etc.: when in reality, vou are canirratnUilnir
yourself on their departure
Yon, young man, who part your hair in the
middle, and perfume your mustsohe, why did
you lure Irene to confess that she regarded yon
with a feeling warmer than affection, and then
tell your boon companions tbat she was "a
gushing girl." You thought we did not hear
about that little episode, hut we see and hear
more than is supposed, 'and what we do not
know, others tell us, so we keep well informed.
Blooming maiden, who with eloquent glances,
winning smiles, and dulcet voice, encouraged
nuuipuus to ueciare nis manly love for you,
to which you listened with flushing cheeks,
downcast eyes and heaving breast, and then
cooly declined his love, because he was not
wealthy enough to support you in luxury
have you ever thought that you acte'd, a worse
than white lie, a deliberate falsehood, a syste
matic course of deception?
You may dimple, blush and smile at another's
agony now; but the time may come when you
will experience the same pain which you meted
out to others without remorse.
The beauties of trnlh havn been anno mil
lauded oountloss times, but can never be ex
hausted. If people would speak the exact
truth, scorn exaggeration and white lies, bocI
ety and morals would be elevated ami nnrl.
fled, and individuals would be far happier.
The Head or tub Table. In Queen Eliza
beth's time the fashion came into vogue
of placing the principal joints and pieces
of moats at the head of the table above the
salt, in order that the chief guests might regale
their eyes with the promise of good cheer be
fore them, nnd also be conveniently served to
choicest cuts. This custom involved the neces
sity of carving the ments after they had reached
the table; therefore, the ladies wire invited to
Bit at the bead of the board, that they might
jjnorm me services wnicn nad Heretofore boen
ctotegated to the professional carver. It was
thuB from no desire to compliment the fair sex
inai woman in tne beginning, promoted to the
most honorable place nt the table. It was for
the Belflsh convenience, of her lord, and not for
ner own digully, mat the position was accorded
to her, nnd ns in medieval society, she minis
tered to her guests by preparing dishes for
their enjoyment, olten bearing them to the table
herself, so she now, in the capacity of carver
oontinuos in the rank of a servitor. But with
the tact which is her distinguishing character
istic she has gradually converted tho carvnr'a
stool into a throne of state, and nsumed the
right to preside over the company through an
office which originally authorized only her to
ueip mem 10 100a.
Divunsirr op Qirrs. Ono of the most diffl
cult questions parents are called on to settle
conoi-rns the particular training each individ
ual child requires. No two of a dozen children
in tho same family agree in disposition, in
ability, in tasto and inclination. Each has his
idiosyncrncies and his sptcial gifts which ren
der special treatment necessary. One hoy has
a passion lor tarming, His brother delights in
music, still another enjoys using tools and solv
ing mathematical problems. What folly it
would be to subject theso three boys tr the
samu curriculum of study, and expect In this
way to rnako tho most of them as men. Not
what wo put into a boy's head educates thnm.
but what we draw out of it. Education is a
process not of cramming, but of development,
and wise are those parents who, undei standing
the abilities of thoir children, suit the training
each roceives to his special requirements. It
is note nay inn multitude of cases to tell ex
actly what particular talent a boy or a girl pos
sesses. Wo must woit for time to develop his
or her special gifts, and while so doing give
the best general training in our powor, shaping
the oh i Id's course in the direction in whii h it
seems most probable ho will be successful in
winning tho desirable things of this life, and to
winning mem as not to tore in the life to come.
Mrs. iymam in JY. X. JYlbune.
Women's Work.
In the great labor contest that is always
going en, woman enters at a disadvantage, and
tbat disadvantage continues throughout. The
avenues of employment are closed against her
merely because she is a woman, and when she
does find employment it is generally at beggarly
wages. The man who cleans the gutters can
command better wages than women of intelli
gence and ability can obtain. There are hun
dreds of women and girls in our cities who are
rorcea to work for a living in the .East. Very
frequently they are of more than ordinary edu
cation and intelligence, yet they can rarely
make it avail them. It is not, alter all, to be
greatly wondered at that so many young wo
men fall by the wayside. Their position is one
of great danger, and only the possession of
sound moral principles can carry them through
with safety. They have to fight single-banded
egainst a host of foes. There is a prejudice
ngainst employing them in positions tor which
they are best fitted. They are paid much less
wages than men, but their board bills are just
as high. They must dress at 1 east decently,
and tbat cannot be done without money. They
are compelled to live in more expensive places
than men, because a man can live anywhere
without affecting his reputation, whilst a
woman has to exercise the greatest discretion
in this respect. So of emnlovment: a man
can do anything on a push without hurting bis
iuiur, uui ior a woman to ao ceitain worK,
though it be honest work honestly done, would
injure her entire future prospect. At every
step she is surrounded by temptations to ex
change her life of weary work snd worry for
one, the dazzle of which in the present perhaps
hides the certain misery which lies in the fu
ture. When to all this is added the fact that
masculine labor is organizing in somo quarters
to elbow women out of the labor field entirely,
and that a large class of women, less intelligent
and refined than the working women them
selves, regard oontemptonsly the young woman
who "works for her living," the way of the
girl who seeks to maintain herself by the labor
of her bands or brain, rather than eat the
bread of dependence or of shame, is sufficiently
hard.
An Encouraging Rumor.
There has lately been current a rumor so im
probable and yet so delightful that most men
fear to investigate it lest it may vanish in the
proco'B. It is asserted, porhaps in quarters too
sanguine to be trustworthy, that ladies are
seriously thinking of wearing dresses which
they can walk in. For the last year, the pro
menade has been a torture to any weman who
has any respect for heelf. Her dress dracs
all the way around and the train thereof folio ss
her for a foot or so. She must either make it
loathsome by dragging it through the filth, or
she must hold it up with both hands. If she
attempts this delicate and fatiguing office with
one, tired nature soon asserts itself, and some
where or other a fold of the idiotio garment
drops into the mud. It is generally known
that the female human has but two hands, and
it both of these are filled with auperfluous
raiment, the management of the parasol, the
portemonnaie, the half dozen bundles of dry
goods, and pound of confectionery, without
which a street costume is incomplete, becomes
a matter of some difficulty, 'lhe unassisted
male intellect can see no way out of this trouble
except the shortening of the peccant skirts.
But we do not envy the fate of the rash man
who should suggest it. He will be told he has
no taste, no perception of style, no regard for
the pure intuitions of woman. If he shall
say that a few years ago women wore lovely
short dresses and looked like nncelx in thm
he will be met with the crushing reply that "a
few years ago" is not to-dav. None of these
severe votaries of Fashion, however, seem to
see tbat they are evading her decrees in hold
ing np their dresses. The milliners compel
them to wear these long robes, so that they
may Ret muddy and wear out sooner, and it
is disloyal to try to save them from this fate.
N. Y. Tribune.
Little Talk to the Boys and Girls.
It is very hard for boys and girls between ten
and twenty to believe what older people tell
them concerning the selection of reading mat
ter. If a book is interesting, exciting, thrilling,
the young folks want to read it. They like to
feel their balr stand on end at the hairbreadth
escapes of the hero, and their nerves tingle to
the ends of their fingers at his exploits, and
their faces bum with passionate sympathy in
his tribulations and what harm is there in it?
Let us see what harm there may be. You
know very well that a child fed on candy and
cake and sweetmeats soon loses all healthy ap
petite for nutritious food, his teeth grow black
and crumble away, his stomach becomes de
ranged, bis breath offensive, and the whole
physical and mental organization is dwarfed
and injured. When he grows older he will
crave spices snd tobacco and alcohol to stim
ulate his abnormal appetite and give pungency
to tasteless though healthful food. No man
who grows np from such childhood is going to
have the firm positions of Conor and trust ana
usefulness in the community where he lives.
The men who hold those positions were fed
with milk and bread and meat when they were
young, and net with trash.
Now, the mind like the body grows by what
it feeds upon. The girl who fills her brain
with silly, sentimental, lovesick stories grows
up into a sillly, sentimental, 'lackadaisical
woman, useless for all the noble and substan
tial work of life. The boy who feeds on sen
sational newspapers and exciting novels has no
intellectual muscle, no commanding will to
inuke his way in the world. Then, aside from
the debilitating effect of such reading, the mind
is poisoned by impure associations. These
thrilling stories have always murder, or theft.
or lying, or knavery as an integral part of their
tissue, and boys while reading them live in the
companionship of men and women, of boys
ana gins, witn whom they would be ashamed
to be seen conversing, whom they would never
think of inviting to their houses and intro
ducing to their friends, and whose very names
they would not mention in polite society as
associates and equals. Every book that one
reads, no less than every dinner that one eats,
becomes part and parcel of the individual, and
we can no more road without injury an un
wholesome book or peiiodical than we can eat
tainted meat and not suffer thereby. Just as
there are everywhere stores full of candy, and
cake, and liquor, and tobacco, and spices, so
there are everywhere books, newspapers and
magazines full of the veriest trash, and aboun
ding in everything boys and girls should not
read. And just as the healthful stomach,
passing all these pernicious baits, will choose
sound aliment, bo the healthful mind will re
ject the unwholesome literature current every
where, and select such only as is intrinsically
good. N. Y. Tribune.
Domestic Ecof,ofy.
Ideas of Woman.
"Tag Old Man and Old Womin." How
often do we hear young mon speak of their
father nnd mother as the "old man" and the
"old woman." Shame on you, young man,
to speak thus of your honored parents, who
have in their breast a love for you which no
other can feel; who would brave their life for
you and givo their laBt dollar to save yon from
diegraoe; and vet you speak of them as the I
Living TooETitEn. The art of "living to
nether pleasurably is greatly promoted by the
habitual exchange of the little courtesies of life:
they are never unimportant, uovor unaocepta
ble, are always grateful to the feeliugs, aud are
ft constant well-spring of agreeable feelings in
every household. Shall brothers and sisters
be less oeful of the feeliugs of one another
than of those of a stranger? And, between
husband and wife, should there be less effort at
b""c i iieporiuiont, ol suavity of manner
aud courtesy of expression, tbau is extended to
uuwmers, wno nave no special claims ond may
never be seen again ? Shame upon any mem
ber of any family who neglects those anVoilun.
ate attention aud those suavities of deport,
weut toward the member of the household and
even to the lowest servant, which oanut fail to
elevato the giver, and to draw from the receiver
thoe willing aud spontaneous reciprocities
which wake of family association a little
heaven below,
Tiib Uiout Kind. In speaking of the death
of that great aud good man, Qerrlt Smith, au
exchange has the following: "In religion Mr.
ounin wa extremely liberal. He gave In hi
adhesion to no creed, but framed one of hi
own, based on that fundamental principle of all
religion, "Do auto other as you would have
?,tHtLr"wJo 31?? you.' His charity was broad.
Catholic, Christian and Pagan, bond and free,
white and bUck, were alike brothers to htm,
and had a claim upon his generosity which he
never gainsaid. That a human being was in
want was all he desired to know; lhe question
of creed or color never suggested itself to his
Blind Hi was the uobleat of all philanthropy
philanthropy baaed upon a broad human
ity. When such men die the world is a great
r;for such men seldom too seldom for
humanity' sake have an eiiateim." Rnn
were also Mr. Lincoln, religious trait of
character. Hit creed was the golden rale
under any and ail clreuniatanor.
"old man" and tho "old woman." inatnaJ nf
Riving mem tne houored title of father and
mother. As a general thing, wheu one annulia
of the old man or woman, it is only of those
who havo never lived a life of usefulness, nor
nevor by nature bore the noble name of father
or mother. When we hear a young man speak
of his parents in this way, we generally find
him to be a fast young man, who is unto him
self a law sufficient and who gives his parents
much trouble and pain, and who, sooner or
later, brings them in sorrow to the grave. My
uTiro iu yuuug women is to discard a young
man who speaks of hi uarenta in this dism.
spectful way, for ha who has no respect for
iniurr or uioiuer win nave out utile for a wile.
"For a young man aocording to his ways, even
wheu is old be will not depart from it," and it
gives us pain to hear young people speak so
lightly of their parents.
How Tom Mbull Came to be a Dbdni
Abu, "How came you to be drunkard?,"
asked a friend of Tom Marshall in a conversa
tion with bim. 'Well, I will tell you all about
that." said Tom. "I Dradnated in law in T..r.
ington, with the celebrated divine, Ilev llobett
I Breckinridge, aud our frieuds thought we
were the intellectual wonders of the ace. and thev
advised us by wav of taking a hlah nositiun at
once, to attack lienry Clay, then in the prime
oi ma isuie aim powr. upon tne nrst oppor
tunity which presented itself. Tbat oppor
tunity aoou came. "We were both employed in
a case in opposition to him. Bob made a
speech and I made a speech, and our fi lends
congratulated u on our tremendous speeches,
and we were basking in the sunshine of our
oomlng prosperty, when the old lion arose,
and with one sweep of hi paw ha drove Bob to
the Bible aud me to the bottle, where we have
been ever since."
Tm Quaintest thing of late in baby talk A
little girl seeing a dog scratching to be let in at
A recent work published at Brussels con
tains, among other interesting matter, a col
lection of aphorisms by various authors, mostly
i' itiuvu, ui wuiuu wo uppeuu a lew:
Chamfkrs. In the choice of a lover a woman
considers more how he appears in the eye of
utuonvuuicu iuhu iu uur uwu. ajove is more
1 leasing than matrimony, just as romance is
more entertaining than history.
uotjqdkabt. it we speak ill or the sex gen
erally they will arise against us; if we do the
same of any individual woman, tbey will agree
with us.
Charlks Lemeslr. Most of their faults
women owe to us, whilst we are indebted to
them for most of our better qualities.
Sterne. Most women are endowed with
such naturnllv endearing charms that even
their presence is generally beneficial,
Madame dk Stael. Love in a woman's life
is a history pin a man s, an episode.
Catalani. Oulv he who has nothing tn
hope from a woman is truly tincore in her
The Baby Wakino. Did you ever watch a
baby waking from its morning nap ? It is one
of the prettiest sights in the world. There is
the crib, with its small preparations and snow
white drapery that covers something, round
and plump. There is nothing to reveal what
it is; not the slightest movement of the pil
lowed whiteness that is visible no sound to
indicate keenest actual life, until the hour hand
of the clock that stands sentinel like yourself,
has twice made its circuit. Then, there is a
slight pulsing in the white drapery, a small
pink tremulous hand, fair as a rose-bud is
thrust out, and from the nest thus broken into,
appears a round diminutive face, with wide
open eyes that have not much speculation in
them yet; soon however they cease to stare
and become questioning, serious, as if wonder
ing what kind of a world it is they open upon,
and the head lifts itself iust a little, unrl (on
snow-white feet stand up spasmodically with a
simultaneous movement each toe of which has
an attendant dimple. But the head is too
heavy it falls back on the pillow with its own
sweet weight, the hair all damp aud golden
the cheeks peachy the mouth just pouted, as
the angels kissed it in drenmR. A fii-vt unno..
inggo-o-o comes from its rosy depths, sweeter
. .. j w.u a ovufj, iu. iii una a spirit tone
and yet retains a thrill of its native skies. The
chubby hands are lifted imploringly, persua
sively, the baby is awake and ceases to be an
angel. Prairie Farmer.
Humbug Food.
A oarefnl observer will not accuse us of ex.
aggeration when we ssy that thousands, yes,
millions of people are daily attempting to sup
ply the alimentary wants of their bodies with
compounds which are the veriest humbugs ex
tant. Very earnest and just protests are raised
against the many lottery swindles and num
erous other deceptive operations constantly
being brought to light; but the majority of us
daily allow ourselves to be "taken in " by the
savory but innutritions and unwholesome mix
tures which modern cooks furnish ns. A mul
titude of shrewd farmers, merchants, lawyers,
and even doctors, who pride themselves upon
their tact and cleverness, are unwittingly
cheated several times a day by their dear' wives,
although we should in justice say that the latter-are
in total ignorance of the perpetration
of any offense. And yet, although a matter
'which is so intimately related to life and
health as is food and drink is of vastly greater
moment than mere material or pecuniary af
fairs a protest against these wholesale dietetio
swindles is seldom beard.
The common terms, "rich" and "poor," as
applied to food, are excellent illustrations of
the ignorance of the popular mind respecting
the real dietetio value of articles of food.
Thus we hear, and sometimes ourselves speak,
of rich pies, rich cakes, etc ; and we talk of
Door food and low diet, including in the latter
classes articles which are deficient in those ele
ments which would give them rank in the class
of "rich food" if present. In our estimation
the terms rich and poor should be applied to
articles of diet in exao:ly the reverse of their
present application. If the word " rich " has
any proper significance as relating to food, it
should certainly be applied to such articles as
contain the materials requisite for the main
tenance or tne Dody in the largest proportion,
and in the most available condition. This
would require us to denominate as "rioh,"
such articles as Graham bread, oatmeal pud
ding, and similar delicacies, while the appel
lation of "poor" should be applied to pies
polluted with lard and spices, cake made indi
gestible with soda, butter, and a profusion of
sweets, and all articles of like cbarcter. So,
too, would we be obliged to term " poor" the
numerous "fried" dishes which figure so
largely in the popular bills of fare. But poor
est of all is the diet of the man who allows
himself to believe that in taking a glass of
"bouillon" he is tikinga'Mong drink and a
square meal at the same time," as the flaming
placards in the saloons assert. Health Reformer.
praise.
Diderot. There exists among women a se
cret tie, like tbat among the priests of the same
f.ilih. They bate eaoli other, yet protect each
others interests,
Staul. No woman, even the most intellect
ual, believes herself decidedly homely. This
self-deception is natnral, for there are some
most charming women without a particle of
beauty.
London journals have for a long time had
articles on the subiect of "A Third Sex." and
a writer in the Homaiu' Journal thus alludes
to the matter: "There is growing np in Eug-
uu uugo ciais oi women wno ao not marry,
but who apparently wish not to marry. They
deliberately devote themselves to liteiature, to
teaching.to some trade, generally an artistlo one;
at any rate to otu occupation tbat gives a
livelihood and tends to culture, and this they
choose for life. The marrying instinct seems
dead, or rather never to have been born in tbem.
They do not teem to be thought out of place,
but, on the contrary, they move in fit places in
the great social organism easily and naturally
aud are accepted without remark."
Growth op Man. Observations regarding
the rate of the growth of man have deter
mined the following interesting faots: The
most rapid growth takes place immediately af
ter birth, the growth of an infant during the
first year of its exisrerjca haino 0Kr,t :u.
inches. The ratio of increase gradually de
creases until the age of eight years, at whioh
time the size attained ia half that which it is to
becomo when full grown. After five years the
succeeding increase is very regular till the six
teenth year, being at the rate for lh ...
man of two inches' a year. Beyond sixteen
the growth ia feeble, beina for th faUnm;.,,.
I two years about two sixteenths of an inch a
Vear: WhilA from piolf..atl tn tnr.nl. IU- 3
crease iu hight is seldom over one inch. At the
age of tweniy.five the growth ceases, save In a
few exceptional cases. It has furthermore
uora ouservea mar, in the same race, the mean
size is a little larger in cities than in the coun
try, a fact tbat will be received with doubt by
j "uw Mi,o vuiud iu irgaru me rusuo as tho
true model man.
BnowN Bbead. The sweetest bread ever
made. Take three pints of coarse yellow corn
meal, scald it with three pints and a half of
boiling-water, add two pints of ooarse rye meal
after the corn has cooled. Knead thoroughly
with the hunds. Take it out into a stoneware
crock which is a little larger at the top. The
quantity here given will take a vessel whioh
holds five or six quarts. Place it immediately
iu the oven, after smoothing over the top with
a spoon frequently dipped in cold water.
Cover with a stone or iron plate, aud have but
little heat in the oven. It should take three
hours to begin to bake, then bake slowly four
hours. Leave the loaf in until th nn nnnla
off, if it is several hours longer. It should be
dark-colored, light and firm, with a good soft
crust. A rouud-bottomed iron kettle will do to
bake in. Try it.
Split Pea Soup. Put one pint of split peas,
which have been previously soaked in cold
water four hours, into two quarts of pure soft
water. Let them boil for one hour, then add
one carrot, one parsnip, one turnip, two on
ions, a small head of celery and a little mint,
all cut smal .and boil nnother hour. Strain the
soup from the vegetables, and thicken it with
a little Indian meal, previously mixed in cold
water; boil the whole for ten minutes more,
and serve in a tureen with toasted or plain
r'llT1 -b-r?d- Mix ,he vegetables well,
ond put them into a mould or baiin. and then
into a vegetable dish, and serve with steamed
or baked potatos. Salt moderately.
Apple Bbeat w:i. j .. . .
. " "s" who iiuuuu oi iresn
juioy apples, peel, core, and stew them to a
i 7V 8 l?re"i70 use a porcelain kettle or
a stone jar, placed inside an ordinary saucepan
of boiling water: othri i. t.i-.i ".li'T"
n?D?v!dl0flred; Bil the P'P w"b wo pounds
of the best flower; put in the same quantitv
of yeast you would S .w JZ"l Au"u.1"?
Snh W."!er aB wi" make !t One, smooth
dough; put into an iron pan and place in a
warm pface to rise, and letHremV&ewS
SSi at least Form it into long-shaped
loaves, and bake in a quiok oven. P
A Hoa with a Wooden Leo. A hog with an
artificial leg must be a touching and Dictnresane
object. The cow-catcher at Dunleith took off
tne binder leg of Mr. Bmlth's hog, and his
benevolent owner made a wooden snooedaneum
and strapped it to the stump. The creature
show its gratitude by accumulating fat with
great rapidity, the only drawback being. that
when killing and curing time comes, one of the
hams will have no handle.
Too Deep fob Uttesance. There are times
when language, even in Michigan, ia totally in.
adequate, and one of then was the other day,
whe n a carpenter named Johnson pat ti finger
through an auger hole to remove a sliver, and
his fellow workman seeing the digit projecting
from the orifice took it for another sliver let fly
an opposite door, promptly knocked at the from the orifice took it for another aliver let fly
window and called out, Ing e bell, doggy, ing with hi chisel and took it off clear np to the
". knuckle.
Rkcubd mb the Aoed. A little thoughtfu
attention, how happy it makes the old. They
have outlived most of the friends nf ih.ir u.ii
youth. How lonely their hours! Often their
partners in life have long filled silent graves;
often their children they have followed to the
to the tomb. Tbey stand solitary, bending on
their staff, waiting till the same call shall reach
them. How often must Ihev thinV nf .v,cct
lamented faces; of the love which cherished
them, and the tears of sympathy which fell
with theirs, now all gone. Wby should not
the young cling around and comfort them,
cheering their gleom with songs and hannv
smiles. SelecM. er'
Hobbibui Slavebt. Mrs. Livermore's blood
boils and her spine rises when she oomes to
this part of her lecture: "Among the Brah
mins in Southern India, when the husband
takes a wife he binds around her neck the
badge of ownership, as vou bind vonr hmAon nr
ownership around the neck of your Spitsbergen
dog. She cook her husband's food, sUnds be
hind and serve i him, and when he has finished
bis meal ade eau what he has left, if h !..
anything, and if he does not she gets along the
best way she can."
A Match Undeb the Micboscope. Tho
who are fond of investigation a with the micro
scope will find a beautiful object in the bead
o; parior maun, Btme tne match, and
blow it out as soon as the head has fused sunt
ciently to cause protuberance to form on it;
on the part of the head which took fire first,
will be found a white, sponsy formation,
which, nnder the mlcroaoona imi wlev. K-.-v..
sunlight upon it, has the appearance of dia
monds, crystals, snow, frott, ice, silver and jet,
no two matches giving the same combination
or arrangement.
Baked CrjsiABDs.-One pint of cream; four
eggs; cinnamon; almond-flavor, and three
ounce, of sugar. Boil the cream with a piece
M,nS5mu0Di Pnri'" Win. and when
cold add the eggs, well beaten and strained
the sugar nnwiWori .a . j. "r",uea
- I ' ' - (BULB M I HUT 1 MT-tO A
Umond.fl.Tur. Bake in small cups, in a' cool
Keeping Bctteb. I desire to pay a tribute to
a profound maxim credited to an eminent dairy
writer, to wit: "The more aroma in but er the
lesstimeitwill keep." That is so true It
Si.."? fi?"y' U U "msumed
about as fast as I can buy it at 50 cents nar
ANewLiqbt. A new artificial light of
great intensity, particularly rich ir I photo
graphic rays has Seen recently invented
mn,?,eif ' quart b0,Ue with eomewhaiarge
TZnii. hM .?.. cork "ith tw open ngs!
Throngh one of these a tube passes to near tie
bottom of the bolt e; through tbeaMnnd.
largo tube packed with iron scTle is ues! t
menl. of pumice fill the bottle, and on tbe
-bviw?.?"' FPH b' Seville's method
n,Vt Fii0a ot n',rioxJ rolphurie acids on
ihentnrofe- "Sg
iron acale to the b.i '" J", "fav"n
graphs
Fight, t
were taken in .. .. j rt .. ,
ight, the obiect bdn. Z72rXLZ2?v2E
LfhiSpow,rtb?ll8nlUBS'd to be
m. r . 'sv " eiectric UKUl Itself.
TheproducUofcombuaUonare noxious and
must be gotten rid of.
The finest coal vat diTir . n.. ..!.
coast, without any exception, is declared by
some expert, to Se that lately discovered ij
Pierce county, Oregon, in the foothill, of the
Cascade mountains, near the headwater, of
he Tacoma Biv.r. and from 25 to 28n?e8
ft"? ,rnri'I'C0B- The depowttner"
ii 0W?J? .xtnd "V"gion at least two
.. w iu suv uiroe uuiea long, and In- M
are from four to eight inches in thickneaaT
fl
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