Page 2A EUGENE REGISTER-GUARD, Sunday, Jan. 6. 1983
The Real Facts of Life for Congress-Watchers
EDITOR'S NOTE The
average citizen probably
doesn't have a very clear un
derstanding of how Congress
works. Here is a tongue-in-cheek
account 0 tchaf the
congressional record doesn't
tell. .
The Closed Mind,
Open Mouth Policy
Is Highly Popular
By ARTHUR EDSON
or the Aisocllted Press
WASHINGTON Congress,
comes back to work Wednes
day, so it's time for each con
scientious, high minded citi
zen to buckle down to his
homework.
The task: To learn what
senators and representatives
mean when they speak the
languages mysteriously their
own.
In this perilous age, when
we can't understand the Rus
sians, when the Russians can't
understand the Cubans, and
How to Address
A Congressman
What to write to your congressman or legislator? It's
simple.
For U.S. senators, make it "Honorable Adam Smith,
U.S. Senate, Senate Office Bunding, Washington, 25, D.C.
For U.S. representatives, "Honorable Adam Smith, U.S.
House of Representatives, House Office Building, Wash
ington, 25, D.C.
For a slate senator, make It "Sen. Adam Smith, State
Senate, Salem, 10, Ore."
For a state representative, it's "Rep. Adam Smith, State -House
of Representatives, Salem, 10, Ore."
To write to the President, the proper form is "The
President, The White House, Washington, D.C."
For the governor, it's "Gov. Adam Smith, State Capital,
Salem, 10, Oregon."
Salutations are generally ignored. Start the letter with
"Dear Senator Smith." Courtesy requires that it be "Dear
Mr. President" in writing to the White House.
Herewith a Glossary of Terms Used in Both Houses
the Cubans can't understand
anybody, let's at least know
what our heroes at the Capi
tol are up to.
Here, then, is a glossary of
terms used in, or about, Con
gress: DEBATE, HOUSE VER
SION Don't be misled by this
word; in the House, there is
no such thing.
With 435 members, time is
severely limited, on import
ant issues, where everyone
wants to talk, a congressman
thinks he has hit the jackpot
if he gets as much as five
minutes at the House micro
phone. So he gets his great oppor
tunity and drones until time
runs out and the gavel falls.
Orator follows orator, with
hardly anyone listening to
what is said except, possibly,
the fellow doing the talking.
Possibly no vote is ever
changed by House debates.
That's why they are usually
attended by a smattering of
members, chiefly those wait
ing to get into the act.
The House is the exact re
verse of a fancy shop which
uses its showcases to tempt
the customers to buy. If you
want to appreciate the House,
you have to march right in to
the committees, where the
work is done, and investigate
the interesting stuff on the
shelves yourself.
DEBATE, SENATE STYLE
It is not true that senators
talk longer and say less than
any other similar body in the
world. It only seems that way.
Yet, despite the unending
speech-making, here, too, few
votes are swayed by it.
Tom Connally, the former
Texas senator, was speaking
of a single colleague, but what
he said is true of almost all of
them (and almost all of us).
"The . senator approaches
each issue," tart old Tom said,
"with an open mouth and a
closed mind."
"The distinguished Sena
tor" never has an adjective
been so devoid of meaning.
Privately a senator may know '
his colleague is a creep, but
publicly all senators are dis
tinguished, to other senators.
Fairly harmless habit, but in
curable except by a crushing
defeat at the polls.
FILIBUSTER This is a
dirty word, so dirty that no
body ever admits he filibust
ers. No, he wants to arouse
public attention, to explore
constitutional problems creat
ed by this iniquitious legisla
tion. Or, if he's a wordmonger
like Sen. Everett McKinley
Dirksen, R ill., he has a yen
to ventilate the issue. But,
filibuster? No, this is a horrid
word reserved for the other
fellow.
MAJORITY LEADER This
. is a humorous term used to
describe Sen. Mike Mansfield,
D-Mont. You can't lead a sen
ator to water, much less make
him drink.
It got so bad during the.last
session that Mansfield was
given unexpected support,
from his Republican counter
part, the gallant Dirksen of
Illinois.
"I have seen some of the
articles in the newspapers
and magazines which under
. took to demean him as the
leader of the Senate," Dirk
sen said in that magnificent
purr that sounds like a well '
tuned sports car.
"God save the mark. I know
him well. I served with him
in the House of Representa
tives as well as in the Senate.
He deserves far better. He ,
has made an effort to har
monize 100 diverse personal
ities in the U.S. Senate.
"Oh great God, what an
amazing and dissonant 100
, personalities there are from
. the orchards of Oregon and
Washington, from the cotton
fields of Mississippi, from the
cranberry bogs of Massachu
setts, from the rockbound
coasts of Maine, and from the
cornfields of Illinois."
They or their amazing, dis
sonant successors will all be
here, daring anyone to lead
, them anywhere.
SPEAKER This is a hum
orous term used to describe
Rep. John W. McCormack,
D-Mass.
Speaking is what a speaker
doesn't do. He rarely comes
down on to the floor to take
part in the purported debate,
and when he presides over
the House he usually mumbles
expertly so no one will be
sure exactly what Is said.
Sam Rayburn, greatest of
speakers, turned mumbling
into a science. Rayburn could
sneak a passel of legislation
through the House before the
snoopiest legislator could cry,
"Hey, what's going on here?"
Once he mumbled 50 wonder- .
fully that he even fooled the
official reporters and the
"Congressional Record" came
. out next day saying the House
had zigged when it really had
zagged.
McCormack still hasn't
mastered mumbling, but, even
though he's 71, he's still a
rookie playing a strange posi
tion. Given time for season
ing, his speakering should be
; as difficult to understand as
anybody's.
"MR. SPEAKER, I ASK
PERMISSION TO ADDRESS
THE HOUSE FOR ONE MIN
UTE AND TO REVISE AND
EXTEND MY REMARKS"
Possibly no other combina
tion of words is used so fre
quently in the House. But,
since these words usually
come at the opening of the
day, when that noisy body is
midway between hubbub and
chaos, they are never heard.
And nobody cares.
For this ' is a pleasant
little device whereby a rep1
resentative can insert a whole
speech into the "Record"
without saying a word of it
Copies of this opus can now
be mailed back to his admir
ing constituents who so the
theory runs will cry out,
"Man, he's a really a-telling
them up there in Washington,
isn't he?" - .
WASTE Despite the talk,
you won't find a pro-waste
man in all of Congress. We
pant for economy in govern
ment, and always have..
"The people justly view
with alarm the reckless ex
travagance which pervades
every department of the fed
eral government." These
sparkling words are a part of
our national literature that we
don't read much any more,
and rightly so. They're from
the Republican platform of
1860.
Nobody wanted reckless ex
travagance then, and nobody '
wants it now, but the diffi
culties arise from the way a
congressman looks at this
sunple word:
ECONOMY Something
that should be practiced sever- :
ely, but in the other fellow's
state or district.
But don't get me wrong.
Congress is a delightful in
stitution. So welcome home,
gentlemen, gentlewomen.
Speak right up so that we can
hear you.
f people jlW.jiil
! UStlu VIEW il if !:!('
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everw ,
3S1
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One Hundred Years
And the Song's
The Same
4
Conflict Revealed in Research Chief s Resignation
PORTLAND W) A conflict
over administration of the multi-million-dollar
Oregon Region
al Primate Research Center
time to light Saturday with the
"resignation of the facility's di
rector Donald E. Pickering.
-'. Pickering said in a letter of
'resignation to the board of
directors of the Medical Re
Search Foundation of Oregon
that the administrative code
adopted by the dean of the
University of Oregon Medical
School Dr. D.W.E. Baird and
the foundation did not permit
him to exercise scientific and
operational responsibility for
the center.
Pickering said that he planned
to continue as senior scientist.
however.
Pickering said that problems
had arisen over budgets and
'Monopoly Seen
In Railroad Merger
WASHINGTON ln The Justice Department says the proposed
irnergcr of the Northern Pacific, Burlington and Great Northern
railroads would create a huge and powerful rail monopoly cross
ing four Northern states.
i The railroads' brief, filed Friday, said the merger would re
ult in better transportation at lower cost.
j The Justice Department took a different view in a brief filed
with the Interstate Commerce Commission opposing the merger
application. It contended the
merger would:
J Destroy vigorous competi
tion between the Groat North
ern and Northern Pacific.
- Seriously damage and
eventually jeopardize the exist
ence of the Chicago, Milwaukee,
61. Paul and Pacific Railroad
0., a principal competitor, and
hurt other competitors by di
verting millions of dollars of
'freight revenues.
Impair adequate transpor
tation in a growing region of
the nation and deprive it of the
advantages of competition.
Impose hardships on com
munities and shippers in the
area, and trigger new merger
applications.
The brief, presented Friday,
also contended that opponents
ol the merger were denied a
fair hearing in testimony taken
last year on the merger plan.
The Justico Department said
the ICC examiner deprived the
opponents of the right to cross
examine some witnesses and
placed undue restrictions on
other cross examinations.
what he said were obstacles
placed in the way of graduate
education.
University of Oregon Presi
dent Aulhur S. Flemming, a
former Secretary of the Depart
ment of Health, Education and
Welfare, said in Seattle Satur
day, "I believe that the adminis
trative code and the manner in
which it has been, administered
by tho Research Foundation
through Dean Baird is in com
plete conformity with the un
derstanding reacnea wun me
Department of Health, Educa
tion and Welfare when the
Bus Firm Seeks
Service Reduction
The Oregon Public Utility
Commission is studying a re
quest by Western Greyhound
Lines to abandon service on its
Junction City-to-Eugcne route
over River Road, the Corvallis-
to-Eugene run over Highway
90W and the Albany-Newport
run over U. S. Highway 20.
At the same time Valley
Stages of Salem has applied to
take over the threo runs.
And Pacific Trailways has
now filed a request with the
PUC for permission to operate
between Albany and Newport
and for a route between Cor-
vallis and Eugene over U. S
99 E.
Protests have been filed
against Greyhound's request by
the Canby Chamber of Com
merce and the Railway and
Motor Coach Employes Union.
3
n 1
UUUULfU
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B&Wlafla
grant was made for the Primate
Research Center.
"1 also believe the Medical
Research Foundation, working
through Baird, has conducted
the affairs of the Center in a
manner consistent with sound
principals and will develop it
to the point where it will be
one of the outstanding institu
tions of its kind in the nation."
The center is under the spon
sorship of the University of
Oregon Medical School.
Three Killed in Flaming Plane Crash
SUNNYSIDE, Wash. Ml
Three children were orphaned
here Saturday as their parents
and a family friend died in the
flaming crash of a light plane
at the start of a scheduled cross
country flight.
Killed were Harold Gerard,
39, his wife, Shirley, 35, and
John Platsman, 31, all of Sun
nyside. The Gerards were survived by
two daughters and a son. Peggy,
16, Jean, 12 and Allen, 8.
Neighbors are caring for them.
Platsman was unmarried.
The Gerards, operators of i
drive-in stand, were bound for
a national soft drink convention
in Florida. Platsman, owner of
the Sunnyside Glass Co., had
offered to fly them there in his
four-place Cessna 170, which he
had had about three years.
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