The Patent Mouse Trap. Peddler A Football fr lj T i n FY ' By FRANCIS WALLACE I! ,3 i i LE .iWo Fttrof 5tray IT; No Fear ShaU 4wt": I f !' ' T Fmm Firs!- Statesman? M.rrfc Oft. IRSl M , THE STATESMAN PUBLISHING CO. f S - Chaeles A. Spkacde V- ' - ' - Edtor-JancrjreT J The Associated Prss 11 exclusively entitled to the as Cor publlca 5 tlom of all onri dispatches credited to It or not otherwise credited to 4 two paper. - v w, v. J - -.. -fry. "ADVERTISING ' f I Portland Representative . ..' Gordon. B. Bell, Security Building, Portland, Ore. V. I-rz5- Eastern Advertising Representatives Bryant, Grlftlth Branson, Inc., Chicago, New Yotk, Detroit, ir'j - - - Boston.. Atlanta . - Entered at tke-Poetoffico at. Salem, Oregon, a$ Second-Oat Hatter. Published every morning except Monday. Buine$ office.'! S. Commercial Street.' ... li ' ! I' SUBSCRIPTION RATES: -7 ItsU Subscription Rates, tn Advance. Within Oregon :' Daily and Sunday, 1 Ma 6 cents: S Mo. fL2S; f Mo. 12.3$; 1 year IMS, Slsewncre SO cents per Mo., or 15.00 for 1 rear la advance. By City Carrier: 4i cents a month: ll.ta a year la advance. Per Copy a Kent On tratoa and News Stands i cents. ! f If-: ' -I -' Oregon for Hoover ' L rpHa presidential campaign draws to close. What had threatened to be a republican, rout now gives some strong indication of re Publican victory. That la true of Oregon. A few weeks ago It ' was correctly listed in the Roosevelt column. So abrupt and sweep ? lq has been-the change of sentiment, that Hooter electors appear K aiiured ot success in this state. 45 If i It has been a strenuous campaign. Unea of strength have run directly opposltei. The Roosovelt strength was at its peak In the early :faj; but as Roosevelt talked he lost votes. He was forced to retreat , frim one position after another, until now his stand on everything i b4 beer la badly muddled. Hoover on tne other hand has ; progressed r frifm strength to strength. Seldom or never hare we seen such trans formation In a man. Long rather aloof, seemingly timid of the crowd wjfch Its jostle, Hoover has emerged as a fighter. His speeches hare ; had force and rigor. If the battle Is won It will be purely a personal , victory for Herbert Hoover. It It Is lost he goes down a fighting "hero. . Roosevelt's retreat haaAean conspicuous.- Starting out by con inlng the Hawley-Smoot4ariff as a "ghastly jest", as a monstros- itj:ho has already assured agriculture that he would not reduce ag ricultural schedules and asuured labor that he stands for full protec tion against products of cheap foreign labor. Thus he virtually gives way his own case. : If On the question of relief he takes virtually the same stand as Pines. Hoover: that localities and states should take care of their eaes,, calling on the federal government only when their local re-i sources are not adequate. That Is exactly Hoovers stand. If On the matter of the bonus Roosevelt kept silence for months, filially admitting "it couldn't be paid"; but, his tardy declaration wiis an index of weakness and not of courage.) 41 On the matter of economy Roosevelt wildly proclaimed he would the federal budget 2 5, apparently ignoring the fact that the democratic house of representatives had not only emasculated the economy bill in the last session, but his own, record for economy' in Nif w York state was nothing minus. Under dor. Roosevelt New York tsie expenses grew, to nearly iour times tne expenses unaer uov. Whitman, republican, in 1918. if On the matter of solving the problems of the depression, Roose- vttt offers no other or better plan than the Reconstruction Finance I corporation. He merely scolds and says that Hoover has brought re- lUsf to the "big business man", which the facts specifically refute. ' Tis government money has gone to farmers, has gone to banks. ' chiefly those in smaller cities, to Insure ce companies and building and loan associations, with their millions of policy holders and share-1 nuiuwi, xk lias uctju auuiauiereu oj iua ui cayaciir iau ui lakcsiiu. j Tie dramatic story of the Dawes bank was told by Pres. Hoover in 'K. Sti Lonis, and Is reprinted elsewhere in this issueJAs the public heard . ' ' Altlf. & - , At . . . . L .a f . - line uwrr irom iu ups ox ia ureiiaeni tney must nave) k&iucu tfuer and fairer picture of the president himself and of Oeneral Dawes ; wao was reaay to go aown ratner tnan appeal tor aia, wno accepted M nnlt vhn It was thrust nnan him to save a serious situation. I .M AA .mm. -l fl ! .t. I . it.m V.,...4. i-.u)!.,. "i m , ill a.1 mi. l. 1 . 1 . .1- n... i proDaDiy wipea out or nearly so: out tne aeposnors nave not lost, the banking situation In Chicago has cleared, and the government is htafn renaid the monev It advanced. li On one issue and one alone does Roosevelt still stand: Immediate a4 unqualified repeal of the 18th amendment and immediate res toration of beer in spite of the 18th amendment, what a glorious is sue to campaign on for the presidency at a time when the real issue U "bread not booze, Jobs not beer! 1 Ooartesy sTew Tedc Herala-Trtsass Early Days In Oregon Collected by H. O. Porter of Auasrille from the Oregon Parmer. August 22, I860 We learn from the Pioneer and Democrat, that some $2000 worth of wool frill be shipped from Olympla the present season, for Boston. Wo do not know why sheep cannot be raised with suc cess la Washington Territory. Advertisement Union .Course. This race course located two and a halt miles east of Portland, haa been opened by the subscriber, who haa erected good stables, commodious stands and eTerythlng else necessary for thrills of speed. The rules of the Multnomah Jockey club Till gov ern the course and all persona entering horses may depend on getting all their speed calls tor. An omnibus will run from Port land to the track every Sunday from 10 o'elock a. m. till night. Faro 50 cents each way. The house on the grounds will bo sup plied with the best wines and li quors at 25 cents a glass. Posi tively no gambling allowed on the In contrast with the retreats and compromises of Roosevelt Her bert Hoover has taken his ground and stood firmly upon it. He op i poses the bonus. He stands for tariff protection. He opposes the dole, tt grants the need of federal aid to supplement local resources. He f fights to preserve and restore the economic system to the end that : tffe unemployed will find jobs back in their normal vocations. He op Elites inflation of the currency. HO tights for sound money, for sound pibllc credit. He favors reduction Jn government costs, reduction in bp rdensome armaments. He stands by his policy of economic rebuild- li and assures the public that it is already bringing results. til Herbert Hoover is seasoned. Ho has passed through the fires. He is in fall control of himself, in full control of the various public I JE . . , . v. ....JI..1.J ..li.. I aaa private agencies wuicu nun us cuutumieu iut uuu-ni - i f0r vrtce. The country should not drop him now. it needs his experience. IMt jieeds'hls organizing 'ability. It needs his great mind and his great heart. Suppose at Valley Forgo the continentals had rejected George Washington. How long would the army have kept the field? Suppose In the spring of 1252 Lincoln had been deposed. Would the civil war hare beenwon and the nation reunited? In this time of c?isis the nation should clffltftQ its leader, who despite difficulty and despite error and failure is nevertheless holding fast to certain great f Jndamentals of government and of economics, proven after centur ies of trlaL ""' ; i I : Finally The Statesman appeals to the people of Oregon to vote f$r Herbert Hoover because of the personal element Involved. We should not do so at all it wo did not believe it was the best for this country BelieTing that wo can supplement it with reference to the fiket that Herbert Hoover crew UP in uregon, tnai nero in ne ana Law and Collection Office George H. Williams (late chief justice), A. O. Oibbs. WUQaxcLS Glbbs, Portland, Ore., will prac tice In the courts of Oregon and Washington Territory. Office in Stark's block opposite Metropolis hotel. " ' 4 George H. Carter, attorney ft counsellor at law, and Proctor In Admiralty, Stark's building. Front street, Portland. rholesomo surroundings his character was shaped. Scores of people -i t Salem and In Newaeri knew Hoover as a ooy ana young man. no Lore is the little golden -Clasp That bindeth up the trust; Oh, break it not, lest all the leaves Shall scatter and bo lost. New Views BITS for BREAKFAST -By R. J. HENDRICKS Two Octobers: S Under the heading, "Lincoln 1884 Hoover Itil" the Cumber land. Maryland, Daily News had the following article la double col umn form on its editorial page: S "Mid-October, 1864 Abraham Lincoln sat in the White House, his reelection very uncertain. The Civil war had been under way for three and one-half years. Gettys burg had been fought and Von by the union and the outcome of the war had really been decided. But the people did not realize this fact. Financially, physically, men tally, morally they were ex hausted. Misery was everywhere and the average man's personal troubles were overshadowing the real issues of the day. "Throughout the land democra tic orators echoed the party's platform, which declared the war a complete failure, and. In mid October, 1864, the tired Ameri can still believed that such was the ease. But, as election day ap proached, the mist rolled from the rotors' eyes. They saw the man of the people whom they had crltl- The Safety Valve - - Letters from Statesman Readers I 3- i Poetry The family is like a book The children are the leaves, SWS-S ; S. AW - Ihsl gft thlTclty to gain through hi. own efforts Jam. and tortuno. After "yg . depletion lot his fortune. His publie service has been marked by deep At first the pages of the book JZ tntrMt in the welfare of humanity. There hare been Are blank and purely fair. einUter rumors and charges ths in the.pe$od ho-was absent from But Time soon writeta memories, America ho was unscrupulous in his business dealings and vicious in I And palnteth pictures there. 11 labor i policies. We are satisfied that these charge are utterly laseless. No man who has had such worthy And careful training as be bad In Quaker homes, no man whoso entry into publie life was mark ad by such supremo consecration to tho succor of humanity, no man who has kapt his personal and publie career so spotless as Herbert Hoover could have so completely altered his, character in the 20 years he spent In professional work in many lands. li Hoover knows Oregon andjtho Paeifle coast. His homo Is here, lis personal sympathies are her Oregon and tho Pacific coast with m riAwtn sense of arldo In theif most distinguished son, should give iMm a rousinr vote of endorsement in tho election next Tuesday. i w&at person in the news IK 7 . I . . m . m . . ineae, aaye ao you most aamiro S- i f i f At. -i i . I ana wnyi" statesman reporters niinni Like an Artertnoucrnt nbtafnnd th fniinwin u.r hpiHE editorial defense of the effort to repeal the Anderson tnlf action yesterday: iJL prohibition law of Oregon is One Of the weakest argU- I - A. r. Adoshsosu nhotoirraBlier t snents which the Salem Capital Journal , has ever offered. "Right now, it's Roosevelt, be- anat paper says that: -1 v "Advocates of repeal of tho 'Anderson bone try aet simply seek to have tho statute rewritten by tho legislature to permit f biw mi aiiis f ruunthu ,iMiinif mnimti 1 Fred EdmvAdsoa, football It t,f v tm- -rVt, man for, WIRamettei "Right ipes out ALL enforcement machinery? The advocates need I Out la that 1ra him, nf ht-mn Miot have SDent a sinsrlei cent in thi.r ernensive camnaicm. All I for a lone time. Ho seems to be f hat tney would nave needed to do was to wait till the legis- " xavml,JfE111" e?"em'n j ttr -:4.m m.tm. j a i Mbo keeps his . mouth i shut till vw 4fc r"17 "r r1"" WU1U uw he's pushed too tar: And as Me- i pit any tune subject only to the constitution; - - -a Nabb said, when you get "a Qua- I ur tna initiative, It this was the purpose of the advo-jker nied up, look out- Fifty thousand Oregon workers are threatened with unfair compe tition from tropical oils, imported into this country, duty free. These oils axe mainly manufactured into a produet outside the state of Ore gon, and thus escape ail taxes to the state. Because the oleomargarine in terests employ almost no labor In Oregon; they use almost no Ore gon products; they pay almost no taxes la Oregon, they Import from the Philippine Islands, duty tree; the chief Ingredient of their prod ucts, "coeoanut oil," and place it in competition with the butterfat produced on the farms of this state, we suggest that the Oregon citizen Tote 208 X Yes." - In case the oleomargarine tax fails at tho November election the dairymen of this state are in fa vor of tho importation of Philip pino labor to bo employed on the dairy farms hero. This is tho only way that we can combat tho un taxed substitutes of dairy prod ucts, and keep the dairying indus try on a paying basis." It. A. HULBURT. Dalrymaa. clxed so harshly was winning tneir battle ana was entitled to a square deal. The result was that Abraham Lincoln to all appear ance a loser in October emerged from the fight an overwhelming victor. The people had seen the truth in time! "Mid-October, 1922 Herbert Hoover sits in the White House facing an uncertain election. His problems have equaled those of Abraham Lincoln. The financial and economie cataclysm which, as the aftermath of the great war, has swept Europe, America and tho rest of tho world nearly re sulted in general chaos. We and other nations have stood on the brink of the greatest catastrophe ever known. For more than three years the war has been waged In America. Some mistakes were made at the start, as in the Civil war, but through tho leadership of a genius wo are emerging from Our difficulties. Tho Gettysburg of this war haa been fought and won, but the exhausted people do not yet realise that fact. "The democratic platform pro claims the economic war a failure and, to a largo number of Amer icans, exhausted with his or her battles, this seems a fact. But, is it not likely that before tho ave rage citizen Totea ho or sho will awaken to face the real truth? MA man of tho people, deep in his understanding of their prob lems. Is winning the world's great est war for them a war in which we were engulfed by factors be yond our control and deserves re-election to tho same extent that Lincoln deserved it in 1864 It would seem likely that America win think and will re-elect Her- canso of his character and his future. He's practically elected. You know that" ixates, could merely have rewritten the statute to "permit the .manufacture possession and sale under proper restrictions of fbeer and, wine of reasonable alcoholic contents". Why did &1tiw A r. 4Vi?aO V,rK AIA 41iaw mm 4y Vi a av4-vama A ii i - j,uc uvk uu wiui iuu wj vug aucuac auv utut a I l.JTl ti rntln Ani ATT Annvnl n ' fi ij 1i '.mTi m.m f- -' The argument of the Capital Journal is falsa on its face. BVe ask the C&pitd Journal: Will you." be satisfied until pro- W!fiibitiott is repealed irem doui tne xeaerai ana state coastira- j" rsn n A until th orJa ht liminrA nf sill Idnrls f aoin iwih esoaMk ivws . vw bjssbfm- -gwv " o Daily Thought "Who among, ua can tell or measure the power of good mu sic? Who shall say how many hearts it ha soothed, how man tired brains ft has rested, how many sorrows it has taken away? It Is like tho power conscience mighty. Immeasurable.'- Theo dore Thomas. CHAPTEa XXXV That night, before Ptdge dropped in for a smoke, Ted sat in .his room, looked oat a the disturbed lake, listened to the moaning winds. He had been like that; his life had been. But now he was calm; Phyllis had scattered oil oa his troubled soul: she was perfection. He had known that somewhere in the world there was a girl like that was glad he had waited, Rosalie was a good egg bat she argued; gave the impression she was checking op oa some of bis judgments and opinions. Barb was sweet and all that but too much .rouble, too much worry. He had found a girl who melted into his Ideal beautiful, talented, senous; nice family. Pidge would be his brother-in- law. That would be funny. "Weil, what yon laughing at?" Pidge cried, flopping on a carefully pressed doodad in a window seat "Just thought of something funny. "The Thinker, I suppose. I no ticed she was putting on the act for you. -Yes?" "Sure, she always docs; leaves most ot them groggy, out you handled her just right fed her the old daffydilio right back." "You noticed it, eh?" "Sure. I was betting she would- n t put the works over on you. "You mean you had a bet with herr "Oh ao; but she always does and 111 give her the old berry be cause she didn't put it over. That's why I can't figure why I'm such a setup. "What do you mean?" "Here I've been watching the kid put over her stuff all the time look behind the scenes, see and yet go right out and eat up the same Une.- "Do they aQ put on acts?" Sure a woman is as full of tricks as a bridge game." A ea blew smoke rings consecu tively until they made a tunnel. He looked through it "Why the tricks, Pidge?" "I don't know; the men are sup posed to do the choosing you ask who you want to go to this dance or to marry you or something like that you think you do just take your pick from the gals la the show windows. "Being hi the windows they dress p so much right?" "Right Then while you're look ing them over, the hand is quicker than the eye, bingo, you're choosed by the one you think you're choos ing. "They spot as a couple of touch' lowne and then knock us off." "Sure," Pidge continued. "They're geared to it That's why women grow op quicker, maybe. Lookit Phyllis; just a Irid yet; but she's been slaying them so long with her tricks that she piles into yon with HI the confidence in the world." "Just to keep in practice," Ted sodded. "Sure and probably thinks she poshed 'jroo over. Bat yo see where she's going. She's Just a kid in prep school, bat one of these days shell really point for a guy and he won't hare a chance." "You're sure ifs an act, Pidge?" "Sure you heard her work. Probably told you how wonderful you were toft-voiced, big eyes that was the Janet Gaynor act She heard me talk a lot about you and looked you over and figured you would go for that Now if I should bring Stone home and if I should somebody should drop me in the lake she would put on the Clara Bow. Hell, she's good." Ted laughed. She was good all right Pidge's theory was startling and illuminating. It care Ted what he had long needed, a key to the manifestations of, the feminine gender. "But there's one more question. Elinor Glyn," he asked. "Barney says it's bad football to rely on tricks for a basic game." nThe game ends when the whistle blows end this lore game ends when the organ blows and that's an these babies are interested to win their big game." All right quote you Barney right back it isn't the play but the execution. I know I'll probably go right along, tit back of the wings and help her put up the scenery and then go out front and watch the show." "I'm afraid I'd walk out on the show." I guess maybe you would. Well, you take a tip from an old timer and do a lot of scouting be fore you sign up for the big game.' iea toon tne not Up and did a lot of scooting. As winter slid into spring he applied his cynical searchlight to new girls, to mem ones of old ones. He observed women at dances, on trains, in hotel lobbies, in stores, on the streets; watched them be fore their men came, watched how they talked to their men, watched them after their men had gone. Watched them go into the hud dle and come outl Tricks. It was part of their de fensive mechanism. Why blame them? lien had all the best of it One night watching a movie siren, he thought of Barb with bit terness. It shocked him. Always before he had excused her deficiencies, glossed over them as those of an indulgent child; even found some comfort in the bittersweet Now Barb stood in her own col oring, without the pastel draperies with which his idealism had clothed her. Rosalie had been right; Ro salie seemed always to have been right Nor did he blame Barb. She was what she was; not what he had thought she was. If Barb didn't love him. if she hadn't wanted to be serious, if she wanted to think it funa for Stone to manhandle hei in pajamas it was her affair. But Ted couldn't quite rid him self of the Barb of his Imagination the girl she might be the girl he had loved. The Barb business had to be settled and cleared one way or an other. -She was or she wasn't Ted wrote her. a frank letter calling foi a showdown. , She answered by special delivery) and it seemed to Ted that it had been the girl in the flesh who had worn the mask that the real Barb was the girl he had dreamed, after alt At New Dominion, contrary to usual custom, the Prom was not the major dance of the college year. this spot being reserved for the Senior Ball a four-day revel in the final spring when college was sup ping into the past and life was just ahead. But the Prom was an im portant two-day affair and the Juniors brought on girls from home for this as the Seniors did for the ball Pidge was fixing no the room. He removed the Rouge Gallery and , Murderer's Row; tipped the janitor ' to sweep and dust it thoroughly; polished everything that would stand polishing and finished op by going around the edges of the rug witn a razor blade, cutting away vagrant threads. "I'm really nuts about this little granite," rhe said enthusiastically. "We've got to make a good im pression with the room." The little granite was from Chi cago, the latest of an honorable line of damozels over whom James Pidgin had raved. Ted was not so enthusiastic. He had just received a wire which an nounced that Barb would arrive at five in the morning.- "She might have picked a better hour," he complained, "that means I"ve got to get up about three and hare a cab out here to take me in and probably they'll forget and III have to walk." That's the women for you," Pidge laughed. "It's this one, anyhow." Barb stepped off the train in the early gloom with maid and bags. In the thrill of this first intimacy of their relations Ted forgot his discomfort forgot everything of the past except that it had finally brought her to him. They had breakfast at the Bolivar. The girls wanted me to back out at the last minute," she informed him casually, "but now I'm glad I came." . Should he thank her for not running out on him? She was on his home grounds now and he must be a gentleman at all costs. Pidge and Ted had hired a U-Drire-It for the duration of the Prom; that afternoon they called at the hotel, picked op the girls and drove about town and out to the campus; Barb was vivacious now, and friendly, and Ted took on something of the feeling of a homesteader showing his bride about the ranch for the first time. "Now," Pidge announced, "well show you the room." Ta B Coattamel bert Hoover by a wide majority. This is as it should be!" S Some of the bitterest and most merciless slanderers and detract ors of Abraham Lincoln, after his martyrdom, became the alncerest in the belief that they had been mistaken, and gave him and his career the highest praise. S This Included democrats, so-called copperheads, and rebels. Some ot the leading democrats were among tho first to proclaim him tho greatest ot all Americans, and one ot tho most exalted of world figures. m Henry Watterson. outstanding American editor ot a democratic newspaper, was among them. There are many people In Salem who heard at tho old Reed's op era house tho Watterson lecture on Lincoln, and will remember it as ono ot tho most eloquent trib utes ever paid from ono man to another. Whether he emerges a victor from the present contest, or whether he shall fall from the shafts ot tho bitter onslaught, a similar setting will be that of Herbert" Hoover. S Ho Is fighting tho good fight for his country as no other man In It could wage It V Tho writer believes Hoover will Daily Health Talks By ROYAL S. COPELAND, M. D. Wo here la Oregon have been advised to follow Canada as to our: liquor problem, that fa by state or local control. I am receiv ing a monthly religious magazine published at Riverside, CaL It states that Dominion control of tho liquor problem is far from sat isfactory. In tho province ot On tario tho revenue dropped 'from $57,000,000 in three years to about $10,000,000. This is duo to competition of tho bootleggers. They got too much ot tho business and. It haa. been suggested by some of tho government officials to Uko 20 off tho tax aa to bet ter meet tho competition. Would state control now In Oregon bo any better? Why should ' the moonshiner want : tho state- to hare, all tho benefit from tho bus iness? He having roted as a wet It would but bo fair to let him have part ot tho profit, State con trol? No, I guoss not! N. T. BOWERS, West Salem. URING the fall and winter months, accidents duo to cas -poisoning are all too com mon. The first measure to be taken in its prevention la to inspect coal and gas stores, gas tubing, gas jets and flues for defects. Most of these acci dents are doe to negligence and are positively preventable. Tho danger ous carbon mo noxide, a deadly poison, is found in natural gaa, coal gas, illumi natinc gas. and of rasolme zoo. Df'c,",i"i tors. Whoa such gnaos are Inhaled, tho carbon monoxido oomhinoa with tho blood and prodncoa dangerous eaautros within tho boar. - The greatest danger attached to gas poisoning is duo to tho rapidity ox tta effects. Too Yietm wuauy Inhales tho gas during sleep and is not aware of his slisnt. His sloeo is made all the deeper by the action of tho gas, and aniens energetie measures are taken tho rktms. never awakens. : Former methods of. treatment failed to revive the victims, but dur ing the World War a groat deal was learned about gaa poisoninr. Though tho treatment should be left to the physician should bo fazeiliar with first aid measures, for often tho physician is delayed. - Until ho arrives, much harm can be prevented by proper and immediate treatment '-Whilo wsitmr for tho physician, seo that the vatiant receives plenty of fresh air. Do not more the pa tient, as walking or any other oxer- uoa may permanently damage us heart. Keep tho rfctmt warm with blankets, aad place hot water bags to tho feet Artificial in i whore f a MA.t.l mmMIm fa ire breatniaeT is i In severe casjoa, tnhslstwm of oxy- thing is dilSeult, ran and carbon dioxide as sary to save life. Oxygen alone is of Yarae, but beat results are ob tained by alternating tho oxygon with eaxbtm dioxide. Mild cases of gas poisoning hare such sfmptoma aa diTrinets, head ache, nois es in tho ears, throbbing at tho temple, naoeea and vomiting. These symptoms precede a sleepy feeling, which in torn is followed by deep sleep. Theae cases require tho same careful attention, that is given in tho more serious form. I want to warn all my readers of tho great dangers associated with gaa poisoning. Repair all leaks tn gas pipes, gas Jets, imperfect fluea and old stores, , Avoid burning gaa jets during tho night. .Merer run your automobile motor in a closed garage, bat make sure that doors and windows arc wide open whflo tho motor is running. to VbukWk Qjierles) t.; - A. B. C Q, Wftl you please teD mo what is good for poor circulation and what brings it on? A This Is doe to a general run down condition. Build up tho gen eral health. For full particulars ro stato your question and send tamped self -addressed envelope. c. Q, What could be tho cause of swelling in tho abdomen just after aUghtmealt Ay Your trouble may bo doe to hyperacidity ox in&lgestfcsv For full particulars restate your queo tioa and send n stamped sjsli-ad- nts. win. and that U such shall be the issue of tho popular plebiscite, wo will see something like what hap pened on the election of McKlnloy In 1896 The immediate resumption of business, with a quick starting of f a e t o r I e s, and unemployment wiped out so quickly as to heart en and astonish tho whole nation, as it was then. Perfect Shirt Tail is a Wondrous Thing; Always Down, Never Out By D. H. Talmadge, Sage of Salem OTH the clock In tho court house tower and tho ono on tho United States National corner stopped last week. Prob ably more ot Sir. Hoover's doings. B Horses should bo required to wear lights, head and tall, when ambling on tho highway in the dark. Ask motorcyclist Eddie Men- namin of Tho Statesman delivery force. He knows! And how! Cinema note: It was delight fully refreshing to have Mr. Ar- liss with us again. "A Successful Calamity" has not, perhaps, tho dramatic strength of "Tho Man Who Played God," but it was en tirely enjoyable. gh-h-ht Are tho workers shown in tho "return to prosperity" fea tures of tho weekly news . reels' wearing clothes that-were la vo gue seven or eight years ago, and are not now, or is somebody suf fering from a distorted Imagina tion? Down but not out Tho perfect shlrt-ua. Rumor from tho short-order houses: Patrons are still eating sparingly. No change in their manners. Tho Messrs. Schmidt, so I ai told, have spent in tho neighbor hood of ton grand in fixing up the Q rand theatre during tho past several weeks. Puzzle: when Is a depression not a depression? An swer: When it is not permitted to depress. Editor Wilfred Hagedorn says in his Salem Junior Gazette that whoa a big tiro "threatens to leap out of, control there's something aim to panto in every breast". Ain't it the truth? Gosh! By tho way, Wilfred, you haven't by any e nance been listening to some of the current campaign-speeches, nave your v George Washington had to be urged to accept tho presidency of tho United States. How times have changed!, : ' ;.-.. f s When- soma- folks get discour aged, they got It bad. I heard man aay this week that about tho ft D. H. . TALMADGE best thing wo con do with this land of tho bravo and homo ot tho free is to put a string around It and give it back to tho Indians. It tho campaign was to last an other month there's no telling what fool things folks would be saying. I know a dozen or more Intel ligent people who seem to have got tho idea Into their heads that all our young folks are in tho "flaming youth" class, which idea is x a whole lot erroneous. Tho truth is.l there's a sort of dumps epidemic la this country at pres ent,, and dumps is powerful dis couraging to reasonableness. George Arllss Is a strict vege tarian, . .. . v- . ,. , ; Potty thievery is said to bo pre- ralent A rather desperate situa tion. Some of tho stolen articles are reported as not having been : worth, stealing. Why steal some thing which is not worth stealing? Soma quite odd questions arc pop- WbfTa it. inquires Editor Spra v(Tarn to Pago t) r,;-x