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What Is
TITORE than four hundred
ill the wisest men of the city-state of Alliens, tne meu
who originated the study of philosophy, debated many
I? And had they thought of it they would have discussed
the alcoholic content of an intoxicating beverage; which Ai
Smith wants scientif ially defined, and so has made an issue
of it in the present campaign
TkAu Voafnra nf r,hU(vmuhv concluded from mucn sxuar
that there are only three things worth while in the world-
justice, beauty and truth
Rut thev defined none of
u n.nQnki ofi'noH F.ah
nition in different times and
concerning them change
a a i ic fka coma with
may be defined for you at half of one per cent, and not too
much of it at that. But this may be a very poor definition
when it is applied to the beverage of a man usea 10 iorcy-ruu
The idea of Al Smith that each state ought to be the
saloon keeper for its people might bring xorty-eignt. scien
tific" definitions of an intoxicating beverage
T?nt nithpr nf them would be rieht or scientific.
So the whole thing is reduced to absurdity ; is a reduc
tion absurdum, when weighed in the balance oi reason ana
experience, as indeed, is every single trimming conclusion
that Al Smith has announced in the whirlwind shif tings of
this campaign. . .
He has gone far in his wanderings, but he has arrived
nowhere, with any certainty that he will stick longer than the
beginning of his next speech or interview; nor that he can
convert any considerable section of his own party.
You cannot appeal from Al drunk to Al sober, because
he cannot demonstrate his capacity. What is drunk?
Farm Women
A LICE CURTICE MOYER -
A republican headquarters,
on farm women workers, sent out a questionnaire to nwae
wiAkora in the rural sections of the country. She has "been sur
prised at the vast piles of answers. Stteiconcludes a long
. . i-w - .1 A. I 1 AM katfa
i statement: i am convincea inai since wu wuwou us
entered pblltics they have bjeen more earrSt, more thorough
and more conscientious than the average man. She says 74
Ter cent of the replies stress
ecutiveand humanitarian; 65 per cent his sound know
ledge or business : 15 Der cent bis stand on prohibition, and
11 per cent the fact that he
farmers. '
Mrs. Wing mentions a number of the statements of farm
women, giving them in full, with addresses and names. She
picks out this one of Mrs. Wert Thompson, living on a farm
ww i j r . 1 a.- "A.? m.
near ivansas uiiy, imssoun, as cnarac tenant :
"The platform on which Mr. Hoover and Senator Curtis
stand is explicit. It carries the stamp of continued prosper
ity in every industry followed in America, and.no claptrap of
the opposition can blind us to this truth. Mr. Hoover's life
experience has made him familiar with farm problems. He
is wholly capable of finding their solution and if he promises
this, he will do it. He is a man of his word. His entire his
tory proves this. Women should be for him regardless of
party.
Mrs. Wing concludes : "Do
of my politically minded farm -
telligent vote on November 6th."
Root On Hoover
f"N a public statement, Elihu Root says:
X "The coming election is not going to decide any particu
lar issue and the effect which it may have on any particular
issue will be much less important than it is to secure the
most wise and competent management of our whole national
government with its multitude of difficult and dangerous
questions. The responsibility
success rests upon the voters,
that responsibility.
"We ought to get the very best man possible for the
head of that business, and the best man clearly is Mr. Hoo
ver. 'His clearness of thought, his proved depth of human
ympathy. his quality of complete devotion to whatever task
he undertakes, his long executive training, his wide experi
ence in large affairs, his practical knowlegde of national ad
. ministration all these make him by far the most competent
man available, and he ought to be elected for the good of the
' country.
Steiwer
T710LL0WING are brief excerpts from a speech of Senator
X Steiwer of Oregon at Guttenburg, Iowa, on Wednesday
evening last:
"In this election more than in any other for generations,
the voter is going to base his choice on the character, fitness,
and training of the candidate.
. "The republican nominee attained fame as a world-char
acter during and after the world war. He is not a politician.
For more than seven years
merce. During those years he
with efforts to increase prosperity of the American people.
' Mr. Hoover knows the business needs, the farm necessities.
and all ofrmr national problems better than any other man.
tie is -both a national and world figure.
"The democratic nominee speaks the language of a little
. territory and his vision does not extend across the Hudson."
You have to hand it to
called him on his outrageously
treasurer's accounts are Chinese puzzles." Of course, no one
is expected to be able to solve a Chinese puzzle, especially a
man who never got beyond the fifth irrade in school, and whn
claims to have read nothing
r.m. u. mi
vurvauus uazeice-limes.
A straw vote taken among the farmers of 40 of the 48
states by the Farm Journal, national agricultural organ, pub
lished at Philadelphia, indicates that so far as the 72.852
farmers polled are concerned,
whelmingly elected president
popular vote gives Hoover 45,798; Smith 27,054.
Kellya
A FAMOUS New York Jeweler
xi. Clares Is true: Two women, representatlres of a once promt,
sent old family, came to him with a sapphire pin to hare ft appraised.
It had been in the family for two or three generations, and had fig
ured in four different wills. The branch of the family that now
owned it had met rererses and could not afford to keep costly jewels.
Bat they had proudly held on to it for yean eren looking down on
richer reUtlres and could always get credit on the strength of their
heirlooms. . . :
Finally, howefer, funds got so low that they were obliged to sell
the sapphire pin. and the two women brought It to my friend, the
Jeweler, to learn its value. .They knew that It waa worth. -at least
165.000, according to an appraisement made many years previous,
and they hoped that the value had at least doubled sine then. The
jeweler plactd the sapphires under a glass, studied them Intently for
a few moments, and then announced: "Ladles, I'm sorry to teU you
that these stones are worth a total of only about $12. They are
imitations." . - - .
u - It came out later that Uncle Abner, of a previous generation,
had been a great sport and spendthrift In his day, and In all probabil
ity he had secretly arranged with a Jeweler to- substitute Imitations
tor the real stone as a means of raising ready cash. The stones had
been handel down by will twice after that, without anyone being the
wiaer. . V;., -.
Drunk?
years before the birth of Christi
x
them. None of them has ever
mav have a near accurate deli
countries and conditions, ideas
..... v
an mtoxicatin sr beverage, it
for Hoover
WING, leading staff writer at
Washington, D. C, specializing
Mr. Hoover's record as an ex
was born and raised among
you wonder that I am proud
sisters? They will cast an in
for making that business a
and everyone of us shares in
on Hoover
he has been Secretary of Com
has been constantly in touch
AL After Secretarv Mellon
false statements about govJ
but current newspapers since.
Herbert Hoover will be over
of. the United States. The
BY
FREDC
KELLY
told flwthla torj, which he de-
THAN HE
I J ft HwO AFTER I. . 1 TT7 V
cZSi
Herbert Hoover
A Reminiscent Biography
By Willi IRVVIX
S though in a spirit of irony
the Peace Conference, even
while the British were re
pudiating pork orders and the
French blocking his efforts to suc
cor the old enemy, had made Hoo
ter administrator of the economic
restoration of Europe. At his sug
gestion fhe conference created tlie
Supreme) Economic Council. Hoo
ver at first took his turn as chair
man, and became eventually Its
executive head.
All through that exciting. Irri
tating, important half year he was
keeping reUef running to the east
ern and southeastern fringes of
Europe. The struggles to avert
disaster from the American farm
er and to break through the block
ade into Germany furnished the
heavy dramatics; the southern and
eastern Jobs, for all their tragic
importance, have here and there
a lighter and more amusing touch.
Once an Italian colonel blocked
a relief train and kept it blocked
for a day. The American captain
in charge lost his patience. Ac
companied by an interpreter anl
by an aide who understood Italian,
he went up to have it out with the
colonel.
"Say this to him," our captain
commanded: "I'm getting blank
blank tired of this sheenanegan.
Blank-blank you. if that train Isn't
moving in two hours, I'm going
to start something with your gov
ernment that wiU blow your blank
blank-blanking hide to hell' say
it to him!"
Liberal Translation
The subordinate who under
stood Italian heard the interpreter
translate:
"Tour Excellency, the American
captain presents his respects and
says that the delay is most incon
venient to him anet harassing to
his government. He would be
greatly obliged for anything your
Excellency might be so kind as to
do by way of facilitating the move
ment of his train." The American
captain glared at the colonel and
roared: "Yes. .that's what I said!"
At any rate, the train went
through.
Another train,' rushing to meet
the emergency in Vienna was stop
ped at this same point. An army
crew ran it; a simple douzhbov
commanded it. Diplomacy having
iiicU me aougnDoy ordered tSm
engineer to start up. swung to the
siep or tne locomotive, and stood
covering the guards with his auto
matic wnue the train pulled out
Paralysed by this breach of n
Balkan precedent, the guards did
not shoot. Interviewed at Vienna,
the doughboy said: "Those Wop
uw w generals don't man
nothing in my life, el'm working
ror Hoover!"
Serlo-Comlc EnltKMte
Then there was the serio-rnmio
episoae in Hungary. Austria and
uzecnosiovaaia. when the Hana.
ourgs tell. Immediately t tin
puouca. iui Hungary, monarchist
by habit and beUef. sat paralysed.
A.un, a communist adven
turer, thereupon declared thm m-.
let republic The impression that
Hungary had gone bolshevik
might In that critical period work
much mischief. However, after
conferring- with the leading spirits
of the conference at Parts, wired
an ultlmatlum to the effect that
Hungary would get no food ahip-
meat, ao long aa. Bela Ka helliospTred cnVidenJe"andm"al'
(Muck) Raking Time
HAS I -iff -m WOWKTHATl I UJHtK- V
power., This measure sufficed
Budapest bounced Bela Kun.
That left Hungary again with
out government. "You could have
taken the throne with a pop-gun.
Archduke Joseph, a minor Haps
burg, did Just about that Again
a dangerous situation: a Hapsburg
on a Balkan throne was but pre
lude to a new, confused, devastat
ing war. Again Hoover got per
mission to act. He wired Captain
Tom Gregory, Stanford '99, his
agent in Hungary, another stiff
ultimatum no more food and no
more railway communications un
til Joseph got out. He ordered
Gregory to deliver this at the pal
ace, and at once report the ans
wer.
Code of Its Own
Now the European Food Ad
ministration had started off with
a telegraphic code of its own. To
this the suspicious allied powers
objected. All messages, they said,
must be in plain language. Hoover
yielded the point. But the boys lo
the field beat the game by using
American slang for Important
communications. So to Hoove
waiting at Paris, came .this mes
sage:
Archie on the carpet three p. m.
stop through the hoop three five.
GREGORY
Now before we finished. 16.000..
9 Oft tons of American food came
across the Atlantic for the salva
tion and stabilizing w of Eurooe.
From Latvia on the north to Al
bania on the south, from Polaud
on the east to Belgium on the wejt
it chased away the specters- of
starvation. r
how many lives have theje
Hoover organizations saved since
the armistice T" I asked a Euro
pean who knows.
"Ten million at a minimum," he
replied. "But If you said twenty-
miiuon, you'd probably stand
wunm the truth."
, (To be continued)
f
Hoover's
Alphabet
By MABEL P. MABTIX
QUESTIONS-
Hoover Faces Them
HOOVER does not talk much
but when he does talk he
peaas leariessly and with
out equivocation. Thr t.
dant evidence of this in his accep
tance speech and other pronounce
ments since that time. Hi
sis of the farm question la admit
ted even by his opponents as shedding-
real light upon the perplex
ing situation for the first wme.
His statement of remedies was
positive and feasible. His firm
and fearless stand on the prohi
bition question which had hn
touched so lightly by politicians.
. -
The Way
of the
World
By GROVE PATTERSON
THE MAIN THING
It is a great temptation to tell
the boss all the details and pro
cesses by which you were able to
get the results he was after. And
in the telling of the story it is
quite easy to Infer your own clev
erness and initiative and general
capacity in the matter. Probably
you are not "kidding" anybodr
except yourself. -That's what we
all do fool ourselves and go
away in the happy consciousness
that we have fooled the boss. The
fact is he is probably bored by
your recital of details. He is less
likely to get a good impression of
you to give you further promotion
than he would be if you merely
laid down the result and walked
out on him.
CREDIT X
If your work is not good enough
to make its own speech, no amount
of eloquence about it will make it
better. The man who blows his
own horn leads the parade, but
the big fellows ride in motor cars
behind the band.
BEING FAIR
It would seem to be very sim
ple and easy to be fair. No mat
ter what our personal 'opinion
about a thing may be, it ought to
be quite within reach of our pow
ers to present a perfectly clear.
fair statement of the case. But it
is not, so easy. Try it, Can you
really appreciate and understand
another man's viewpoint and sin
cerity about any issue? Can you
really state the evidence without
putting your opponent in an un
favorable light? If you can. you
have an unusually fine, fair and
analytical mind.
INTANGIBLES
The hardest thing a salesman
has to go up against is the "in
tangibles" in the mind of his pros
pect. What's thatf Well, the sales
man may be almost 100 per cent
perfect In his goods and his pres
entation. He may convince you
that his proposition is a little bet
ter than the other fellow's. But
the thing he is up against and
that Is hardest to beat Is the un-
explainable conviction in your own
mind that for some reason or oth
er you DESIRE the other fellow'j
goods. The most human thine
about human beings is their child
ish likes and dislikes. For these
strange likes and dislikes they are
often only partly responsible. Per
haps they are not responsible at
all. These things are there. They
are the intangibles of the mind
and they are hard to beat.
tion for its clarity and logic. His
recital of other questions that the
nation will have to face in the
near future assured the country
that his ideas are . positive and
his plan of action- effective. We
need these qualities in a Presi
dent
(To be continued)
DINNER STORIES
SOFTER, PLEASE
- An absent-m i n d e d pianist
bought an automobile, and, after
thm salesman had given him two
lessons, decided he could ran it
without assistance.
- When he awoke in the hospital
the first thing he said was: "I
thought that was the lond pedal J
pressed wittumy right foot."
a snAlV
"It was!" said the nurse, with
Bits for
Bj B. J.
Business will be better
W
When the election is over
t v .
Because every one will know
that Herbert Hoover will try to
make good his promise of a Job
for every mux and woman with a
will to work A
m
And that will be the biggestjo
ever tackled by any : man in all
history. He fed more starving
men, women and children than
any other man in history; saved
more lives than any other .man in
history. He has not yet tafkled a
job that he did not get away with
It
If a job can be provided to ev
ery one with a will to work. It
will mean vast development, and
Oregon, with more latent resour
ces than any other state, will wit
ness big speeding up processes -n
her industries on the land and in
the cities and towns.
S V
The Willamette valley above
Multnomah county ought to have
ten million people, instead of ber
present 300,000 or so. She should
have a million or two dependent
upon her flax and linen industrioi
alone, and a larger number get
ting theii livings directly and in
directly through the sugar indus
try. These things will help in the
program to give a job to eve.y
worker in America.
There is to be an attempt to
clear the air for broadcasting elec
tion returns irom 8 o clock a wek
from Tuesday evening, till noon
the next day, so as to get "satis
factory reception of returns." The
amateurs and others not broad
casting election returns are asked
to get ort the air. A good sized
job. And "satisfactory reception"
will mean a sweeping victory for
Hoover.
1- f
Attempt in Tammany strong
holds in New York to throw out
40,000 illegal registrations is
charged by Smith supporters to
republicans trying to defeat hirp.
The wicked republicans! It would
be terrible! Smith will need them
all. and millions of others that lie
will not get.
Schnectady, New York, talked
to Australia by radio at 6:8 0 in
the morning yesterday on this side
and 11:30 p. m. there; just like
phoning across the street.
S S
Some years ago. Thomas A. Ed
ison said the time was coming
ibur Auto Insurance
Complete Coverage in One Policy
7 f Cnyin on
where before you carried as many as five, are
GENERAL OF Amtotoa J ' .
The General
fW th.fi- nnine$ yo'in case of
fire, theft, collision, property damage or liability. On,
pohcj protect, you without danger of the conflict
cUuse, that often ari,e when you carry more Wofe
policy. One organization handles all your claitns-a ow.
ing mstttutioa that will be eren stronger at the dCof
the longest damage suit. V
On the General full covew it
ng expenw, oa one obvious!, re iL 1Z 7r
even two! 7 less than on five; or
uesUon
AiftomohtU Cortrag
Property Damage
FireTbeft U
Coilisiem j,
' IJahtiity ..
Breakfast
Handridu
-v.- man In the center of the
o.i.,r, rfprt mizht take an in
strument out of his pocket anH
talk to a neighbor in any oiuci
.nnt on the rlobe. xnat sounuwa
,vrannv then. It does not sourd
that way aow.
m . S
Am wa understand Al Smith,
who defended himeelf on the rad-
dio last noight, from the cnarge
of socialism, he believes in u ia
everything but the name. His
wolds on this matter are as con
vincing as his stand on farm re
lief. Corvallis Gazette Times.
. t
Tf the outcome of this campaign
was not such a serious matter, It
would be awfully funny. Here is
Smith rebuking Hoover for failure
to be more explicit In referenda
to farm relief. Indeed. Mr.. Smith
is so busy rebukjng Hoover that
he again forgot to be explicit him
self and to tell the farmers' wheth
er he Is for or against the equal
ization fee. He has made some 20
odd (very odd) speeches and
hasn't told us yet, though it would
seem to be a very easy thing to
do. Exchange.
The Grab
Bag
Who am I? What Is my profes
sion? What is my nationality?
Who was known as England's
Virgin Queen?
What estimated proportion of
. .
vs";
" "c yjvimsiL UP AMERICA
vurwigc automobile policy.
np AuvDtr
Fred E. Mangii
New Bllch TtafMi-.
Bllgh BeJldJng
INSURANCE
COMPANY
the earth's surface U covered !-
water? -
What is the capital of India?
I said In mine heart, God shal'
judge the, prtghteous and th
wicked: forHhere is a time thr?
for every purpose and for ever
work. v -
,l WlATIh1 FOOTGAi-L.
jL t OoTHORT IN
TlL Tne fight after
v6P- j
Today in the Past
On this date, in 1858, Theodora
Roosevelt, 26th president of the
United States, was born. .
Today's Horoscope
persons born under this sign
are inclined to be very inquisitive.
Nothing, even the private affairs
of others, can be hidden from
them If they desire to know them.
But they do not always impart the
knowledge gained in an unselfish
way.
Horoscope for Sunday
Persons born under this -sir a
have the gift of eloquence and
their listeners hang on their words
helplessly for they always carry
conviction and sincerity.
A Dally Thought
"Remember when the Judg
ment's weak, the prejudice is
strdig." Kane O'Hara.
Answers to Foregoing Question
1. Edward Johnson; opera sing
er; American.
2. Queen Elizabeth.
3. 73.39 per cent,
4. Delhi.
5. Ecclesiastes, 111, 18.
THE ONE-MINUTE PULPIT
Ye shall not steal, neither deal
falsely, neither lie one to another.
And ye shall not swear by name
falsely, neither shalt thou profane
the name of thy God; I am the
Lord.
Thou shalt not defraud thy
nelghboud, neither rob him: the
wages of him that is hired shall
not abide with thee all night un
til the morning. Leviticus, xix.
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