1 rTwrtc ratherUrge: ul)
mother ahsent-miaftedly,-, j ' -j;,
i!Olu .Oe! Mamma! f", said: sX
ter'f won't-he -mak a daady po
liceman." , Airs. -Edith Kraf U
-
trvpooxKHM. Cartoon Cx. X. T. oi
' '
Sl my'pi-v snm!
By Jl. W.Bannlck,
If I'm feeling raither gloomy,. v
Outsortsand klnda.'blue, i
I've a scheme that " makes ' me
. - ppy; .r.' ---" f ::
Let me tell yod what I do: i
I picV up theXam'Jy alhiim. '
Pilled 'with aidant paotbgtaphs;
' Every pasfe crithf ri that volume -
Is ,5oa for aVdoen f laughs,- 1 ;
Ju8fone lookt dlar bid grandpa,
Uncle Joe or Cousin .Min
14PutaUDOH mVifBM a.-arrfnv -
r'McCLAREN
:: : CORD
Ktageev Salesmen, and
Deliveries 'Use Them :
.- Do You?
but
' Smith & Watlrins
, 4SNAFFY SERVICE
,l - PIIONE 44
v -
V
i - V " f I '
J I I I -.
V T7v
; .. :w; ; r r- --r 1 L f I f r 1 .t. J l " - ' -
I I lit I f
LINOLEUM FOR EVERY ROOM FOR THE LIVING ROOM, THE
DINING ROOM, THE BEDROOM, THE HALL, NURSERY, THE
SUN PARLOR,' THE SLEEPING PORCH, THE KITCHEIsr. VHAT
EVER YptfR NEEDybtr SHOULD NOT FAIL'TO AVAaJL YOURSELF
J t
OF THIS OPPORTUNITY,
. .. .
1 , . )l
"jyindow
Butfhe loud and hearty laughter
Comes- whene'er I take aqint
At my baby-legs in stockings I I
Likea stick of peppermint.
If we. ever hare some callers
That are hard to entertala.
We break down the wall of shy-
With the pictures of Aunt! Jane,
So, of course, this prized posaea-
sion J. ' :
I shall guard- for all I'm worth.
Our .'"-old-fashioned, plush-bound
: -'-,-albumr-l" i
It's the best Joke book on earth!
, . - Where-. Ignorance Is Bliss
Irs. - Stuyresant; "Yon can't
read o write U What do you do
withyarurv time?"
Rastus: "Well, ma'am. Ah lin't
eddieated' to worry Tbout' dat."
:.v-cr ;.., 'y--.rn Gertrude.
, c EXTBA PAPURS !
j-A fire had started-' The alarm
.had sounded. The fire," was gain-:
ing. ' Excitement prevailed. - The
nenspftper .was printing -antextra."!
Presently -we" heard a i newsboy
hurriedly yelling : J
-J EXTREE!lEXTREE!PAPUR!
.. 4 EXTREE!. l:.... i..,',... .1 . ;
. J,UST.. ODTJ- .EXTREE! EX-
TREE .,: . " '
BIO WEST SIDE IRE! I
JUST OUT!, , A. J, Minx.
-: - ; Hard to Please
. Elsie: "Why don't, you marry
Phillip?" ; ' : . j
"Jane: "Why I don't know him."
Elsie: "Well, why don't you
marry1 Hugh?;
. Jane: "I do know him."
George Jeffords.
, ? Are They All Like That?
' Allan, aged three, was being un
dressed by sister a few years old
er. - ;:- :f : ?
"Mamma, just look at his stom
ach,", said sister.
PJEAiD COLDS .
Mwt in epeori; inhale vapors;
apply freely np nostrils. i
V VAPO RUD
Oorr 17 Million Jmru UJ Ymrty
i - iiJ - L -
! .Ot'
All New Goods and
11 1 J ""' Lj5 "
OtliGPC 01.05, 01.19, 5135, 01
Printed 'Mrioleum-at : 99c
. . . Brins Your Own Measurements .
Ncna Sold
1 i
ptxxan nAbmU fishing off
' the Hebrides Vs
: By' Dr. Walter E. Traprock
j People wonder why the finnan
haddle, , sometimes wrongly called
the "haddock," Ia; so seldom seen
oh our. menus, r. The answer, lies
li' the great 'danger . in . getting
these, wily, denizens ,of the deepl, .'
Their, favorile waters are the
treacherous channels among" the
Hebrides,- on , the north coast of
Scotland.. In this region of per
petual storm, steam-trawlers are
doomed, to destruction. The fish
erman's only hope lies in the small
craft known, as : "cockles." which
are , so Jight they are frequently
tossed from the crest of one Ware
I to another.- In facfl have often
caught splendid: fish, wbii my
boat, was- in .mid-air; ? This, -Jjow-eyer,
ie dangerous.' - - - - - jr -
i During, my last, trip, to the f in-nan-haddie
grounds -I planned-. a
new method,' of catching them. I
had ; noticed that when our tiny
craft was In the vortex botweea
two "waTes that I could 3 distinctly
see the finnan-haddies sporting in
the crests above -me, their great
bodies silhouetted against the sky
back of them. ' The-next - time 1
went outI took' an -xpressrif lei
I began potting tne finnan-haddie
as. they rose above me.'. It was
hard shooting, from'. a most 'dan
gerous ' footing, but I "drilled 20
of the-beggarsr nd we" brought" in
s Tecord.icatch.:,;",ii,: '.rVx'i -ct.
- I-missed- only one, the- bullet
puncturing another . boat which
was on the other side of the wave.
This was regrettable but; as my
boatman said, "vera excusable un
der the circumstances." :
Circumstantial Evidence
"Has your wife bought her East
er bonnet-yet?" f s
"Apparentlyvnot.' At any rate
I'm still insolvent." - s '
i - Aymar- Knight. .
' ' '' .... . -S '"i Vi':'' l-
THE SPORTING GOODS
COUNTER i .'
A Fair Enthusiast' '
Muriel: "So Dorothy Is a dead
game little sport?" ' " '
Helen VThat's . what she is.
When the boys got "up a ball game
the' other day she let them use her
best sweater f of a base." , : 5 " ' '
". . :. Preparedness
I'm fond of golf; I like to bowl;
I like to try to reach a goal; I - '
I like baseball and tennis, too; "
A - i - D
or-.
Beautiful Designs
to Dealers
71.7.' -Ji r-
rtil!J'-,:
it!.
4 9
Most any sport,. 'twixt me and yon.
Save ; swimming; that - I've never
It didn't seem to me much- fan,,
And yet; all winte, to be frank,
I've practiced swimming in a tank.
' l i 7-- i" - . " r .
To say a platitnde I pause-- ," : -.
For everything there la a cause.
I dverheard'a friend of mine, 2
(A beauty, too, with form divine.)
Say this year she would' learn to
, swim; J i ' - ;
And so, unless I break a limb,
I'll bet I'll .be the first' to reach
i - her " - ' 1 x
For I propose to be her teacher!
j ; Henry Ballon.
- ' Seitled Forever' ' ' -To
find the 'oldest game tn earth
' Hag caused ' more talk than it' is
i worth", :!'rV', ' ' :'' '
When" all yrfu have 'to do is go ' : '
"Xnd read the 'Bible, then youll
i 'know "i . i-- -That
Tennis' Is' Ihe'oldesf sporf
For Moses,' served in Pharaoh's
- court. Russell Richards.
. . ' On The Move V
v Paul: "Let's loin a evmnasinm:
' Phil: "Nothing doing.1 , I get
enough exercise . shaving with a
safety razor," dodging autos," and
hanging on a strap. V. V
-u --Herman Sell.
v. 1 ti. - '
UThanks to' the , ocean, waves.
swimming will always be the clean
est of the 'sports! r
PROBE DEMANDED
PORTLAND, Or., Marc h24.
Mayor jGeorge L., Baker today ask
ed' investigation by. the- county
grand, Jury of all law enforcement
agencies of the city of Portland,
The mayor asked for the inquiry
as a result of a raid 'by dry squad
officers on - the home of - David
"Foulkes.
n
'3 o o o c
3 . C -
Credit'
Without
Interest
waaa
r
LllfPJlRlEE
Adele' CbtfrlsonaKeW Phase' ol
REVELATIONS Ot A WIFE
Copyright by Newspaper Feature
-Service :
- ' in" -.-
CHAPTER .417 .
. THE WAY CLAIRE FOSTER
MANAGED THINGS ,
. After the first involuntary -be
trarai 1 of 1 surprise aV'Claire "Fos
ter 's rudeness, '.which the girl d id
not see, Dicky played . up . beauti
f ully-tohfer : .commands., concern
ing the dinner which he had pro
posed having Bent in, ; and : upon
,whch she had given me no time
to .comment.' : , '" ; . fl .
;; Yes, mademoiselle,", he. 'mur
mured,, flinging an imaginary nap
kiai over his arm and crossing the
room to stand at attention, waiter
fashion, beside her. V'l think mad
emoiselle mentioned broiled fowl
and.pepperless bouillon. Has she
any Other commands?" !
She gave him a roguish push.
'Get away "iwith ; : you, till -1
think!;' she cried. "You're worse
than a bumble-bee. Xet me aee."
. She put her forefingr; to . her
forehead, -and -then : after ! half a
minute's consideration she glanc
ed up at him coQuettisbly. :
"Hors d'oeuvres," she said "Oh,
oodleaof. 'em." Especially' those
darling little cookie-shaped things
with ' caviar, and ' those anchovy
strips. . Then: a cream of celery
soup, but be sure it isn't too thick
i if -you go to a good place they
ought to do it well boiled chick
en or squab, with French frieds,
asparagus tips with drawn butter,
a salad "of endive, tomato and
reen' pepper, an ice, moulded,
pome Camembert and coffee."
Dicky Takes Claire's Order.
Dicky carefully wrote it all
down In the most approved waiter
fashion, and I wondered if he were
mentally reckoning, as I was, the
probable cost of the dinner she
"bad jordered, served, aashe ad
roitly had stipulated from agodd
place.'!" When he had finished he
bowed low;-, "-.y. .-- ..., k4 ' .
T "Is that all mademoiselle wish
es T he asked guilelessly. - ,;'.' t
; "I-think-that? wUl hold me. for
a few minutes," she retorted.
"How about-you, Madge?" Does
that go doable Tor you, or is there
something else you'd rather
have? -' -
Her manner was so insolent in
its-assumption that she was ..the
one -whose wishes were most to be
considered,-and I was only an af
terthought, that for a flaming-second.
X xould. not answer JierI shall
always be proud of the fact that I
was able ,to pull myself t together
and speak In carefully nonhcalant
tones. ; ;.. . i '
;. ''It certainly goes double. Yon
have 'selected ' my .own favorites."
"It Certainly Goes Double."
The sense of economy which my
Puritanancestry, planted Jn me
had urged me to make, my own
order a much simpler one. : I
knew that nothing eonld so offend
Dicky as such "a procedure, but
the ; necessity., for duplicating the
expensive-order did not make my
feelings any kindlier toward the
girl. , .V. - -.:"-
"Oh, I'm the original little
waiters' delight!'', she said. "One
of: 'em told me once: 'Mademoi
selle of a certainty is of so much
something or other French for
cat's cream,: I suppose in a din
nerjorder,.JLnd. r,ve. had, other,
people tell me the same thing in
less picturesque languages But
wlat are you waiting for, old
dear?"". She turned her fine eyes
cm. - Dicky. "Do .you realize that
I'm starving to death? Haven't
yon enough .iron ; men In your
jeans to . kick in for i the grub?
Spill it quick if that's what you
want, for I'm .well-heeled. - ,.,
KowthB ..ahsQlnteJynnpaTdqnr
able social affront In Dicky's eyes,
as in many men's, is the assump
tion. that he; does pot. carry around
wi(h him enough cash to - insure
any, woman of his acquaintance
anything fierVcaprlce. mayfapcy.
So' at Claire Foster's audacious
little: speech -I shot . a ; qu ick, start
led; glance glance at. him, and
caughtx -theIaToIhhtaryj angry
frown, which,' however he-man-aged
to - banish before ' Claire, ap
parently absorbed in the contem
plation of her own clevernessii
IocixdLax.hlnu: I ."-.. ....
, 'Don'r.'wo'rjry.': lituVone,"" he
billfold is heavy with yellowbacks.'-
And you.sfiali have your
heart's r- Weatt your tmmmy's-T-deslre
as fast " I -can speed' up
a restaurant head - waiter. Any
thing you want,' Madge, in the line
of supplies-for breakfast? There
are some good shoos around-here,
and I might as well order the stuff
now .'- :-vv;'-.V'' '"s.i
',' : "Is that what yon'' call speed
ing? Claire asked ironically.
Waiting whfle Madge makes up a
grocery list? What's, the big idea,
anyway?':.- jT , , - -r .--f.
. (To Be Continued)
MEAIDEALERS ANGRY
AS LONDON JURNa TO T
.APPLES AfJD, ORANGES
' LONDON, March 25. An "eat
more fruits campaign throughout
England bas recently- brought thej
fAjherican apple into - more promi
nence thai it-ever--has -enjoyed
heretofore. The fruit is now he
lp g sold' in the groceries and the
luxury shops; and .from push carts
in -the streets of London. . t
The campaign has. brought' to
the fora also" the American apple's
neighbor,, the Canadian' apple, but
In most cases the products of Ore-f
gon and Washington appear to be
th favorite.' American apples re4
tail here at a few cents a pound
more than they do in cities of the
United States, i .
VIn addition to American cran
berries, Florida and r California
grape fruit and oranges, various
other fruits from the other side of.
Ire 'Atlantic, Americans in London
tiAs -winter have enjoyed, the pri-
Vege of being able, 1 when they
were . willing to pay the price, to
r
A
in
Thursday
- Illh -
Friday
llll I '
i- f
llll i
1
f
III
MATINEES
5 35c v -;
III
EVENINGS
" 50c
IIII
i. -
I,
! t.
NEXT
1 L
mm1 i ..h ma .sw k.f a- aiaifi ii ii , t ? i ti , i
treat " themselves to fresh corn on
the cob,' at about one shilling the
ear. The corn, in the husk,, has
full white grains: and -Is imported
in. barrel lots from South Africa.
It has. much the same appearance
aa the corn from America,' except
ing that the ears,, perhaps, are a
trifle longer and more slender.
w Butchers .are far .from happy
over the efforts to popularize .the
eating of fruit. Boosters for the
apple recently set' going a song;
"Don't - eat muttoh.-i. .don't i jeat
lamb,." which made them , particu
larly wrathy. In
complaints . to
mmm
The Best Light Opera Co. in America . . r
two.-' - i
TONIGHT fw '
vfHE CHIMES
FRIDAY-'. ?J.' :L.T.ii:z ;::
"ROBIN HOOD"
SATURDAY.'- ; t:- I r ''
"THE CHOCOLATE SOLDIER"
Prices. $165 $L10
Starts Today
. ! ?::v!S:;.r':J,H!'!,'J;-.0-' f
One of the year's "six best sellers," the search-'
ing and intimate story of American morals and
marriage by Wallace Irwin. . -t.. w -
DeMille,' master director, who gave yoii Tsuch: .
triumphs as "Manslaughter- and "Feet of "
Clay " stages in his newest production a novelty
candy ball . . .. a dazzling society wedding : . .
thrilling -and- beautiful scenes in .the snow
topped Alps that .you have .NEVER BEFORE
SEEN IN A MOTION PICTURE. . . -
U.xWJ. a -i -J . -- v. ' ,- r- T
SUNDAY: L2ILTON
- With RodLaRocque flhi 0 "4 j
Vera Reynolds .' - Mf V 4 ,!
I LlUian Rich ; : : Ml i
Warner, Baxter
Theod'ore Kosloff .
Julia' Paye ' Jj r
T ' m ( 1
' :i" I III " -
McDonald . t
. . OBG.iXIST rT
1 in .
C02IEDY ri
- . : llll- . - ; --
,: news, 1 1 , : i
U.. I
- ' 1 t . .
various official sources the -described,
the 'song-as an insult' to
the trade, and. retaliated: with an
other composition extolling ."beef
for brawn and brains." ', , r
GOLD STRIKE MADE
, WRANG ELL, Alaska, iMarch: 2 5 .
Telegrams' received .here, today
announced a new gold, strike rs 50
miles northeast of here on k trib
utary of the. Eagle rivsr.'ln.the
Cassiar district;, British Columbia,
a ; short distance .from . a placer
made" last September.. . ,' ' .
o
TONIGHT FRIDAY
AND SATURDAY
CtURTAIN 8:30 - . - v. K
' f..v...- , ,
OF NORMANDY."
75c- Including Tax ,
i i
4
I
I
SILLS
-QQU
.f. trt.
adjured her-langhIngly.-My ock-
eu are weighty with cola and my
. -