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About The Oregon statesman. (Salem, Or.) 1916-1980 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 16, 1924)
TIIE OREGON STATESMAN, SALEM. OREGON TUESDAY, MORNING, SEPTEMBER -16 1924 TV" v 11 Sfrniona in Klirmn j - " By Mammy Bee I'so allers ied in dls good book, de lessun's mighty plain ' But I'll her to own up chillun. ! here s .something hard to ex- 'plain. : . ' . - In Matt. 5 an 40, the good Lord hisself say, If a feller's gwtne t sue you, an (takes yer coat "away, Don go to law an fight It, "till yonse lost yer all an broke. But han him de coat he's wantiu', an den gib him yer cloke. s Now 'taint in human nature to gib ' iup wldout a. fight. An I wonder why de good Lord say, de hardest way am right. Bat de good Lord know dem law- lyers, an' know yer gwine to . lose, ' ' " -I'"' " "' : ' - M T So He saygib away yer cloke an , . jsare yer; pants and shoes. " 'Reason Enough ! Young Author: "Why did you reject my burlesque on lunacy?" i Editor (brutally): "It was "nothing to . rave-over." Impartially a Pretty , One . Bill: ''Smith's gents' furnish ings store was a failure until he hired that pretty, young sales girl. All the sports of the town patro- ' nize it now. : Phil: "That's what comes of having a counter attraction." I - Elmer Griswold. ! 'Agnes, the office siren, says that the only thing really, per manent about the permanent ware la the expense. , . Habit!' , iWlfe: "How can you look me in the face and say that?" ! Hubby: "I suppose It's "be cause : I've gotten used to your face." ! " Earle Mueller, i ' . Expensive Surprise ; ., L iWeldon: "I'll bet you -were . surprised when the " cop handed you a summons for speeding, eh?" . . Shelton: "Indeed I was. 1 I never thought the old bus had ' in her!" , ! - : James Rathbun. . I A Pair of White Shoes A pair of white shoesj i Now, what - more j could they ' mean? , A, pair of trim ankles , . j-; -' Above "mlghtbe seen; "'"-'; n'--A pair of blue eyes ' " '. . Looking shyly In mine; A. pair of red Hps With a bow so divine; A pair of strong arms - Held' out with a plea -That a pair of warm hands I Be held close to me. . Ar pair of white shoes i Yes, they might have meant 1 more, . But this pair 'of -"while shoes ... j - : Were for sale in a store! ' ; : Henna The Way It Seemed to Her i t Little Betty,' "on. her first visit to the country, was watching her aunt ' prepare the butter alter churning the milk. ! f "What are you doing now?" she asked. vi "Why, I am-washing the but ter, dear." '! After a few minutes thought of the butter she was accustomed! to see come in cartons, from the gro cery store, Betty said: "We don't wash ours, we Just eat it dirty." Mrs. Frank Benefield 1 - , ; . ; Practical f j uriah someone would Invent another daily dozen." "What for?" I : "To reduce living expenses.'? Arrid Kanter 'Worthy Of Mention t ; i; ! I had - an ; unusual experience in the park today." j j 1 "What was it?" - " I I walked the entire length. and no one said "Gotta match?! to me." J: . "?. i' 1 , Helen Wood Who's Boss Although much praise as ' singer i he has earned " ' I And he holds listeners in thrall; So far as managing his home's ' T . concerned, ' rj It seems he has no voice at Jail. tJnf rocking the' Pretender ! He should have known better than to have left that tell-tale letter sticking out of his coat pock et where ' his ' wife would surely see it! He groaned inwardly; as he saw -her - approach the coat. Would she recognize the delicate woman's handwriting on the jen velope? A cold perspiration broke out on his forehead. She lifted the coat off the - hanger Then, what he, most dreaded, hap pened she saw the letter! ; i "So!! she biased, "you've been up to your old 'tricks again! ! Sup pose you try to explain away this '-this words failed her. i "Why er dear," . he stam- mered, helplessly, " er forgot to er " ; ' -.;: r i "Teg," she broke In, frigidly. "that's Just the trouble. You for got to mall it,' as usual. And . I gave you this letter yesterday morning! j J Edward II. Dreschnack. Philadelphia Girl: Who' Captured MiwAixiOTca TitleBeauty She America's new Queen of Beauty, Miss Ruth Malcolmson of Phila delphia, is shown above, in insert, being crowned at the Atlantic City pageant by King Neptune, im personated by Jack DeLange.V. At Miss Malcolmson's left is Miss The Sad Part J North: "Dobbs Is' mad because Bond ' said f he had more money than, brains.' : ? , West:-"I wouldn't worry about what people said if I had the money." : i 3 '' :- North: ''But .Dobbs hasn't any money. ; ! ; B. . Cerf. THE EDITOR'S OO&SIP SHOP I Te. it' been done. : W'e'Te received contributions by air nail ! n x . , And how we wonld lore to hare ft little fan and say the rontributiens were nothing i"bot air,' or ."heaTier-. than-air," and ao ont ... But that's not onr point. 1- ' We don't ' advocate sending ontri bntiona by i Air Mail. We advise' against it. H Bat the spirit deserves great com mendation. - It shows ft desire on the ptjt of our1 readera to cooperate with ' the editor and get good humor to the reading pub lie aa fast as possible. .That.theJiituIJi-.v;;g, THE JIXGLE-J ANGLE COUNTER Handsome dresses grace the flap pers; All cigars are clothed in wrappers. Louis Brachman. :5H" ' Bound in Ribbon "Have you ever written any thing that will live?" asked the poet. .... "I'lr say f I have!" replied his friend, the humorist. "My wife has every one of the love letters I wrote during out courtship days, packed away in her trunk." IIDRSESliQE TITLE TO BE Slate Fair Puts on New At- -.traction State-Wide ; . Interest Sought Horseshoe . pitching contest to decide the championship for the state of Oregon, will be a feature at the forthcoming state f fair," which opens in Salem, September 22. This Is the first time 1 that this, now universal sport, has been introduced here, but these contests have been a big drawing card at eastern fairs for some time, where they have proved of great Interest both to those who participate and those who witness .the games. . -. The state fair appropriated ' 500 as prize money to be distributed for the various events. The" con tests will open ; with walking games on Monday, beginning at 9 a. m.. and continuing through to 1 p. m. Elimination will con sist of each entry .pitching '72 shoes, being credited with three points for each ringer thrown, arid one point , for each ; show within six Inches of peg. The 14 J con testants: having the largest score will be entitled to pitch In 'the finals for championship. A warm up 1 6 shoes will be allowed .each contestant. V . The finals will be pitched Tues day, the second day of the fair, and ; shall'; consistj of each of the contestants playing each other one 25 point - walking, games. The final standing of contestants to be determined by the number of games won. ,j "; '. 1 ; '-.'j "'; " - The national association rules will govern -all contests. All 'ties will be decided by; pitching r two shoes. Any bona fide resident of Oregon above the age of 16 years is eligible to enter this : event, providing he can pitch as ' many as 15 ringers, out of ,100ipltched shoes. The entrance fee for this event Is $1 each. .'All' entries must be In the hands of the secre ? - 'mvi ,'? L.v " i tt y , $ "ik$ m .;v.. .x.:. Vf-jA.; - f - . i l i5 It M V : t I I i: I 1 "f . f I , f I v- $ 1 v. - j DECIDED Dethroned, and; Pretty "Loser1 .Kathryn Campbell of Columbus. O., who had worn the honors for the last two years. In the other photo are seen the pretty girls who represented Oklahoma City and Los Angeles in the national beauty tournament. j. ; . tary of the state fair board, by September 20 Prizes; for the event will be 50, 25, 15 and 10. All contestants reaching finals will be entitled - to j medal stating position won. i ;i 'The club games, which are scheduled for Wednesday begin ning at 9 o'clock,, will consist of eight men,: doubles, and shall . be 50 point games. The number of games played will be determined the 'day of the contest and will depend on ; the number of clubs entering. Any club in Oregon may enter ! this contest. i The : final standing of clubs will be determin ed by the total points scored. The entrance for each club will be 5, with prizes ; ranging as fol lows: $90, $70, $40 and $25. The 10 highest ringers pitchers in mis event wm be' entitled to a medal stating position ;won. J "'Games' ' for' ' women exclusively hate "been eet for Friday. -This contest will be club doubles and will consist of four women clubs, any four women in the state will be considered a club and eligible to enter. The number of ' game3 played will be determined on the day of the meet. They shall con sist of 25 point games, and total points scored shall determine the standing of club. The distance pitched fee will be $2 for a club of four women, prizes for the event to be $40, $30, $20 and $10. The six highest ringer pitchers will -receive a medal stating jposi tion won. . i, Boys' games will take place Saturday, prizes to be $10, $7,50, $5, and $2.50, the entrance; fee to be 50 cents. Any. boy n . the state, under 17, may enter, prov ided he is capable of pitching six ringers out of 100 pitched shoes. Method of pitching will be deter mined on day of contest, the dls tance to be 40 feet, r Entries should be in the hands of he slate fair secretary by Thursday, September 23. ; ' x Disregard for Bible ti i Censured at Convention OREGON CITY, Or., Sept 14. Growing disregard for the Bible and general use of the Sabbath as a day of pleasure instead of wor ship, were censured Wednesday; in resolutions adopted by the county convention of the WCTU held in the Estacada Methodist church.1 j The resolution declared that poor moral conditions i . in the schools were largely due to neglect of parents, to train their children along proper lines, and urged that all professing Christians maintain family worship. Women were urg ed to vote that Officials pledged to law enforcement might be el ected. ' " ' I: ' j t '. The attitude of Governor Pierce On law enforcement, particularly In regard to the dry law, was in dorsed. " " -. i - :;. Other resolutionos were adopted pledging members to fight against the , inveterate use of cigarettes and narcotics, indorsing the Chil dren's Farm Home at Corvailis, and pledging moral and financial support to that institution.' ' ; , In the election of officers: Mrs. E. E. Andrews of Oregon City was WE PAY CASH FOR , - YOUR. AND TOOLS Capital Hardware Cz . Furniture Co Best Prices Paid , . 2S3 N. Ccal SL Phcas S47 re-elected couotyXpresident; Mrs. E. E. Hannah of Estacada, vice president; Mrsj. George Eberly of Oregon City, corresponding and re cording secretary;, Mrs. Fannie Smith of Jennings Lodge, treas urer.' '-; - ; ' . .; J. D. Micklej Wants Old . Salaries -Restored Help ? Hoping to restore salaries in ths state dairy and food department to the level at Which they were prior to a "tritnming by the ways and means committee of the 1923 legislature, J. - D. : Mickle, state dairy and foodj commissioner, asks a total of $56,1 63 ifor salaries in his budget for the coming bienni um. The amount expended for the present bienntum is $39,982. The statement says that thecommer- clal food stuffs department of the commissioner's office is self-supporting, and has received $12,000 this biennium.' There was added to the general fund from licenses and fines $3,992; but the depart ment does not receive credit for this. 1 FUTURE PATES . I r I 'ii hi i i -a September. 15, Monday, Willamette uni versity opens. I September 22-27, Oreeon State fair. September 17L Wednesday iJonstitn- tion day. September 29 Monday Salem, poblie schools start. September 3O-0etoer 2 State conven tion ol Congregational-churches. NoTember 11. (Tuesday Armistiea nay. November 20-22. 4! Third Annual Cora Show and Ifciduatrial -Exhibit, auspices Chamber of Comiiieree..; ' ll I"1 j' PORTLAND IT-'. ligM (Set No matter what your ailment is, do not think your case is hopeless until you have tried Chiropractic Spinal Adjustments. What it has done for others it will do for ydu. Do not . through ignorance of this wonderful science shut the door to ultimate relief and happiness; ; Thousands of sufferers who have failed to get relief in any other way are being perma- P, Improved apparatna tor making I spinal photographa.Tia only i on In tbs West. v!.,, V !1 Dr. Nathaniel Reich of Philadelphia Familiar With Fifty Languages . N. . Dr. Reich,:; assistant curator and reader of ancient manuscripts in the University of Pennsylvania Museum, Js able to comprehend writings, that In one instance only two persons,; and in the other four Dr. OSCAR W. ELLIOTT C.CJ JJay . Preaident I Xi ' Students may attend either the day or night school or he may change from one to the other without interfering at any time as they run parallel all the way through. The night course givc3 the student a great opportunity to work and pay his way through school if it is necessary. No other reform touching the welfare of all the people has ever made such strides against a fighting opposition in so short a time in history as Chiropractic. Learn this great science now and learn it at a college whose standards are the highest augmented curriculum, able faculty, clinical facilities unexcelled and Anatomy taught by dissection. Prepare yourself in a profes sion that will guarantee your future and make of you the man or woman you would like to be. .Today is the time to start that career. Tomorrow never comes. ' For Further Particulars Address 125 GRAND AVENUE, NORTH, i '' 9 - . - I ; ....... , WeI4Get WefcGet Wet nently restored to health and happiness through .S :: .Ver. w,' '4 persons in the world can decipher them. He has mastered s the pictured writings , of the. ancient Egyptians. This -scholar and teacher has been a professor in half the great schools of Europe. ,---.... , . -. .j - r.-.-.-.-.;.., ... V.T.V. CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGE CORNER OF HOYT . ' ; ; i V afaU W ArkYI Our X-Ray Laboratory takes all of the guess out of Spinal Analysis and Diagnosis, permitting Chiro practic adjustments to be correctly and scientifically given, returning health at the earliest possible mo ment. . . -v. :- j;- ;- -' . . Our hospital facilities make it possible for patients at a distance to come to the college where the best services can be had at most reasonable charges. Write us regarding your case. ? 1 " , ' . Pacific (Mropra College, Inc. Dr. Oscar W. Elliott, President x 7 125. Grand Ave. North,., . Portland, .Oregon QU1ZZIIUB BRYAN BY N. P. LEAGUE Great Commoner Willi Be Asked Why He Supports Democrats The following Is a list of quest Ions sent Mr. Bryan and will be distributed by hand bills at the meeting in Salem Tuesday. ! Mr. B ry an please answer: 1. The; democrat platform of 1912 says: We favor the vigor ous enforcement "of the criminal as well ai the civil law against trust officials and demand ' the enactment of such additional legis lation : as: may be necessary to make it impossible for a private monopoly, to exist in the United States? Ho.w many trust offi cials were prosecuted criminally during the eight years of Mr; Wil son's administration AUGMENTED CURICULUM CLINICAL FACILITIES UNEXCELLED' Vrite for Catalogue jJ yTLOW FCNCIL i unaammt J0 RfD BAND cur STREET, PORTLAND, OREGON 'i - , : ", : .' . ( -m 1 ' hlr ' A "afl lllf UO How many trust official we convicted? Name5 some of ther t ; Does the democrat part condemn the action of the Feder Reserve Board ' for -vailing' tl loans In 1919-1920 under a dem; crat administration? 3. Does "the democrat part condemn its child th Cummlu Ksch law? If not why not? 4. Do you think the democr party with Mr. Davis as preside would destroy the criminal trust such as the Sandard oil, J. P. Mo gan "company, etc. I support, you Mr. Bryan as loyally as ar one could from f 1896 to 190 when you left your teachings l support Alton B. Parker? HH. STALLARD State Manager Oregon Nonpart ean League, k IAY FEVER If you can't "gat away," aa thm attacks with V VapoMu; VeW7 MiOio Jan CaW Ycu: ,-4. llllWill y . . """ 11111 -1 Day and Night ! Courses -,, ",