THE OREGON STATESMAN, SALEM, OREGON
WEDNESDAY MORNING, JULY 30, 1924
' : ; - ' : "
l
4
I
7.
ft.
M
f
4
m
Issued Paily E-ept -'Monday by I
STATESMAN PTJBIJSHINO COMPANY
3" South Ooniuiereial St.,: Salem, Oregon
THE
R. J. flemlri-k
John W. Brady ,;
Frank Ja.Uoiki
MEVtBEE OF THE
The Associated Pree ia exrlusWely entitled U the nse for publication of all
a dipat-he rrediiej to it or not otherwise! Credited, ia this paper and also the
local new published herein
I ! uraivpsa
Tbomaa F Clark Co., Xew York, 141-143 Wrat: 36th St.; Chicago, Marquette Build-
" i i inc. W. S. Orothwahl, Mgr. I
(Portland Office, 33 Woree.ter P.ldir.. Phone 6337 BRoadway. O. F. Williams. Mgr.)
j TR1.EPHOXFB: '
i . 23 Circulation Office
V-i- 23 104 . Society Editor
Job department j . - - i - - '; 583
Buainesa Office ,
Newt Department
Entered at tti Poatof fica in Salem.
; ! 1 RIBLE THOUGHT AND PRAYEK f
Prepared by Radio BIBLE SEHVICR Bareau, Cincinnati, Ohio.
If parents will have their children memorize the dally Bible selections.
It 'will prove a priceless heritage to them in after years.
- ; -I 71 J A i' - July 30.-1S24 . X - ; ' V ;
ASK WHAjT YE WILL: -If ye abide In me; and my words abide
In you, ye shall ask what ye will, and It shall be done unto you.
John 15:7. ' ' ' ! '. : ! ! ! : 1 I 1 , . .
PRAYER- May we ever be In Thee, O Lord, as the branch Is
in the vine, and then our natural living will be in the Spirit of satis
fied communion. ' ' : I
j j
I INCREASINQ DEMAND FOR LINENS j
'I ' -: 'I1 j- I ' . r ' . ' I V ;
The New York Journal of Commerce of July 17, under the
heading,! "The Reviving Linen Industry,") devotes a leading
editorial) artiele io the increasing demand for linen manufac
tures in this country
Speaking especially
',t he
: linens J - - - 'j.' ! . , 1 , . ,
And the writer declares that "certainly there are evidences
of expanding demand for linen manufactures of all sorts shown
not only in statistics but also in the recent extension of the flax
growing areas of Europe." ? I
The writer in the Journal of Commerce, in his conclusions,
says : .; 1 : ' I "-. .
"There would seem to be a very distinct limit to the
extent to which an expanding market for linen manufac
tures can fe furnished with raw! materials, even with the
encouragement to flax growing pffered by current prices
for raw flax, which are now about .four times what they
: were in 1914 and for some grades jare 60 to SO per cent
above the Be fast quotations of a j year j ago. Although
the favorable price situatiomhas resulted in a 'consider-.
able (addition to the flax output of Belgium, Czecho
' Slovakia, Finland, and Ireland during the past year, the
gain has been just about offset by the loss in the Polish
" nntniit Sr. tin r-rPAt there, annear to be definite restric-
fcSM4 tions to the extent to which the linen industry-can keep
pace! with the progress of a reviving demand."
In other words, the people of the Jnited States would buy
still more linen goods, and especially jlinen dress goods, which
are in vogue, even at the present high prices, if these goods
I .-were to be had m oraer to oe
f Notwithstanding the fact
JKZl VA aa.vai u . .j via
flax fiber spun into yarns for
-. " M : t tin-
Hliilllar luauuiacMiics vii iioa an;
ill I -'-
Ti.!afM itraia mmla riih
X III' U11..1 " V . ..MMV - ... g t , r-
tnanufacturing of yarns and twinjes and thread and linens in
' . . jr.. i i. !:' ? I i ; - -!..-'.
this country. I '
" Congressman Fordney, then chairman of the ways and
raeans committed of the house of representatives, told the late
Mrs. W. P. Lord of Salem, Sat one of the hearings of the com
mittee on the flax schedule, that! his people had grown flax
tvhen he was a hoy, and he understood the value of a possible
great linen development in this country, and he proposed to fix
U nr. L. ..ioitr tn liMnvitifV this nlinnt This W9 at
rf 4 1 1 CT laica niiii a " c ri
r AVashington, D. C. Congressman Fordney made his Word good.
7 The time is opportune for this development. Our people are
r7bout to begin Jt; and. they should lose no time. Against our
55 per cent ad Valorem protection on linenj cloth, Canada4 gives
her manufactures only 15 per cent. j
"We can produce the raw; materials to give the people of the
i United States all the linen gWls they will buy, and they would
buy perhaps more than double the present quantities if they
g could get them," and pay prices that would make the whole
? industry very remunerative, from the growing of the flax to
h the final touches of the high
finished products. r .... j - - I '
All this, with the flax .seed and other by-products, would
mean a $200,000 annual industry here, employing, directly and
indirectly, two millions of people. It would mean a doubling,
with this single crop, of ,the value of the annual money crops
taken from the land of our: whole state, j
It is possible that Salem may be named as the place for
holding the proposed egg laying contests decided upon at the
poultrymen's convention at; Corvallis last week. Canby sent a
delegation to. urge that it be held there. Other towns want it.
But it is understood that President Kerr of the Oregon Asri-
cultural college favors Salem, in case the contests are not to
be held at the college. The fixing of Salem as the place would
help our already booming poultry industry. , It would adver
tise Salem as the center of interest in Oregon poultrydom. This
is worth looking after. Salem can be the Petaluma of Oregon,
if our people will think in terms of high production poultry,
and act and work together and let nothing of advantage that
we miiy have get away from tis. ! y 1
i The sheep symposium oii the Slogan pages of The Statesman
of tomorrow is going to be worth while. Decidedly.
FEELS RESPONSIBLE!
Premier MacDonald was one of
the loudest socialists in favor of
recognizing Russia and doing .bus
iness with the soviet republic.
One of his first acts was to recog
nize Russia. He stopped there,
and despite theH&nger and vigor
ous protests of the rabid socialists
he refuses to go any further.
Here, after six months in office,
he makes this terrific aoccusation
against the soviet government of
Russia: ' X
"You (the Communists) have
had in your hands for seven years.
In name of the 'proletariat a
great country, self sustaining In its
resources, a great people utterly
sick of bloodshed and on that ac
count susceptible to the operations
of any system which promised
hope and peace, and the wealth of
a great empire. What have you
made of It all? What have- you
done for the proletariat? j
- ' ' T 1 I
i
. . . - Manager
. I - - . . Kiti tor
t JIanager Job lept.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
rvppirF-
rH3
Oregon, as aecond-claas matter.
-increasing vogue for costume
onereu to luem
that the importers must pay
55
on
Cjv' j 7 j
the making of such goods and
tinrV, iinlav It n nncnt tariff
'e 11 iv- rv.w..w
". I
nn tinmoRff! to pnpouracre the
salaried operatives making the
peasant landholders In ..Russia.
You took j over the land. How
many of the peasants now own
land on which they expend their
toil? '
"Your records show that in the
year 1922-1923 you exported 8,-
000,000 bushels of grain. How
many millions of your starving
proletariatj died for lack of grain
that year?! Is it not the case, also,
that In that year America by di
rect succor rescued from death
nearly 11,000,000 of your people?
And when these things were hap
pening were you not spending
largely of the remaining resources
of your land to carry your propa
ganda into foreign countries?
; "Why have you failed to present
to the world the greatest and most
forceful argument in favor of com
munism by showing the world the
successful application of it in your
pwn country? Many statements.
but no i Information come out of
Russia. Why have you killed
. - - - .
tern and muzzle all foreign cor
respondents of Independent mold ? J
i"Your record shows propaganda
fifst and your proletariat last. Has
your work lowered or raised the
life of your proletariat? Have
you succeeded in your industrial
theories, have you built' or de
veloped any means of transport
or set up any facilities for the
betterment of the condition of
your people, out of the immense
resources which were at your dis
posal when yon took over, or out
M the huge resources contained in
Russia?
"Thus far you have proved only
that you can seize and squander,
that you can throttle liberty of
thought and spirit. You allowed
ypur land to lie in ruin and your
people to die for lack of organi
zation, but your propaganda or
ganization remained always at full
strength. Your people or your
propaganda which gave you the
greater concern?
"In view of your record, why
do you call yourselves communists
and expect the sympathy and help
o$ a socialist party? i
POOR SUFFERING OREGON
You would think to hear the
state malignera talk that they
were trying to save the state. As
a matter of fact they are the worst
epemies Oregon ever had. They do
npt tell the truth. They say Ore
gon is being ruined, and all sorts
ojf things. In all its history Ore
gon has never been so prosperous.
It has never had the outlook It
has now. .v: : i -. '. '
j To illustrate: ColJ ;E. Hofer
sends to the press and to subscrib
ers a weekly bulletin setting forth
the developments of the territory
he serves. The past week , is just
a fair sample of what he sent out
about Oregon; and we submit that
ijt gives the lie to the state detain
ers In a manner that can not be
controverted. The bulletin says:
I Portland New site secured for
soap factory. 60x200 feet"
Eugene Two hundred merch
ants sign agreement to not use
billboard advertising. i
Portland announces $200,000
new buildings past week. r
Northwestern Electric company
to expend $1,750,000 on improve
ments, of which one is 20,000
horsepower hydro-electric plant on
White Salmon river and $30,000
horsepower steam plan In Port
land and physical connection with
pacific Power & Light company, i
North Bend hospital to have
$50,000 addition.
Four-story apartmenta going up
next to Portland News. ; ;
Contract for. Willamette river
bridge at Albany let for $245,306.
Hood River association contract
Bartlet pear crop to canneries; i
St. Helens Columbian bought by
Alfred Erickson and Arthur Steve.
Dallas Over 300,000 yards of
black surface pavement under con
struction, f
Eugene Junior high school to
go up at Eighteenth avenue .and
Agatf street. ;
Albany Linn county to have
modern fish hatchery. i j; i
The Dalles, Libby. McNeil &
Libby cannery reaches record peak
when 98,000 cans fruit were pre
pared in one day.
Cottage Grove Dam across
Prather creek is completed and
work on trestle for railroad t he-
gins. -
Eugene Three and a half miles
telephone wire received for new
line in Fall Creek district.
Roseburg Trunk sewer line
planned. , li
Oregon Trail to be improved
east from Pendleton at expendi
ture of $20,000.
Medford $100,000 church com
Medford $100,000 church com
pleted. ' ?.';--..: I .: '; i
Work on highway from Medford
to Crater Lake under way.
Eugene Mapleton road to be
surfaced.
Klamath Falls Paving of Mich
igan avenue from Main street to
Esplanade under way at cost of
$9,638.75.
Freewater gets new garage.
Cottage Grove Woodward saw
mill to resume work. J
Portland Contract awarded for
$2,390,173 Burnside bridge.
Southern Pacific to resume pas
senger service on Salem-Dallas-Falls
City-Black Rock run. ;
Rainier New structure to rise
in burned areas work to start at
once. 1 ' ' ,:' - .-. ;
Eugene Southern Pacific com
pany to pave Eleventh avesne, west
and South .Willamette street;
VernoniaNew brick block on
Bridge street is completed. 1 i
Marshfield banks, with new one
In field, show increase of $165,
527.91 for six months period be
tween Dec. 31, 1923. and June 30.
.1924. . i . ; -:-t . .;.
Albany letsi $32,000 paving con
tract. ' , !..."!.' 1 1. .
Stay tor New flax plant to be
in operation soon. i:
Forest Grove Business of the
Western Oregon Packing corpor
ation's cannery shows marked In
crease over previous years. : .
Harrisburg Work being rush
ed on Willamette Valley-Florence
highway.
Fossil Community to get auto
park. ; .
Corvallis Farmers of Benton
county to .ship' three carloads cat
tle to California. I
Klamath Falls Gold discovered
in vicinity of Diamond lake dis
trict -
St. Helens will vote, Aug. 4. on
$130,000 bond issue for water
system. -
Coquille Alpine Paper Mann- j
facturins company purchases ten
acre tract for proposed paper plant
Marsh field Work on new Wes
ley hospital will commence last of
August. v
(Iresham A $.".000 church, to.
bo known as Grosham Undenomi
national temple, completed.
On August 27 Myrtle Point will
vote on $280,000 bond issue for
the finishing of roads already be
gun in county. 1
Sutherline Canning factory.to
start: within 15' days.- new ma
chinery being installed."
Paving through Turner com
pleted. Wallowa - Tiowman - Hicks saw
mill resumes cutting with greatly
enlarged plant.
Roston commercial reports show
wool market steadily Jmprovlng.
with market price trend upward-
over; 80 per cent domestic clip
sold. -.
f
iu:ligious unresti
From the great centers of the
world we hear of mighty minds
challenging certafh things In re
ligion but in what might be called
the but of the way places we have
accepted it that the people have
continued steadfast in the holy
faith of their fathers. However,
there seems to be some exceptions
at least here is one. The Lake
View Examiner has fen article on
the severance of relations of the
local Baptist church from the Bap
tist association- which is tremen
dously more important than any
thing the great minds of New
York or London can conceive.
Here is what the Examiner says:
"After a period of some forty
years' membership with the East
ern Baptist association of Califor
nia and Oregon the .First Baptist
church of Lakeview, Or., have
elected to withdraw, from the as
sociation. Action to sever the re
lationship was taken July 5, news
of the action having just been re
leased to the public. j
"Rev. L. A. Meyers, pastor of
the local church, attributes cause
for the action to a divergence in
belief of various matters of policy
of the church. It appears that
during the convention of the Bap
tist churches held In this city June
12 to 15, some friction developed
between the association heads and
the Lakeview church pver (matters
of belief and the final action of the
local church was taken on this ac
count. ;
"According to the Rev. Meyers
there is considerable latitude in
belief of the different Ilaptist
churches, each being a free and in
dependent body, choosing its. own
policy in regard to these matters
without affecting ts standing as
a church.
It , is probable that the local
church will at some time in the
future affiliate with other church
es holding similar lines of belief.
of which there are a number in
the; state. Churches at Eugene
and AsHland are said to be wonk-
ins along lines parallel to the
work of the local church."
CHURCH ADVERTISING
Rev. J. T. Brabner Smith, ser
vice commissioner of-the Metho
dist church, said to a gathering of
ministers from eleven middle
middle western. and eastern states
the other day- "Every church
should have a fund for purchas
ing space in the newspapers and
should advertise in the daily or
weekly papers regularly, consist
ently, and constantly." He says
this is no new thing, as hundreds
of ministers have learned that ad
vertising pays and have enjoyed
results in larger attendance, in the
collection, and. what Is most Im
portant of all, in larger publicity
for their activities. He said that
most churches "sponged" on news
papers.
His plan includes the enlistment
of ,the support of newspaper men
and advertising experts, some of
whom are in -nearly every congre
gation, in the preparation of
"copy," not only for church ad
vertisements, but for the news
columns. To, quote from the Rev.
Mr. Brabner:
The church needs the news-
paper as a medium of spread- N
Ing the kingdom of God be
cause it enters into almost
every home and Is a visitor In
almost every family circle. It
! reaches those who favor the
church and those who do not.
BETTER ROADS
The Oregon Statesman pointed
out recently the need of good
roads to the ocean. This Is for
the accommodation of our own
people. We call them market
roads for convenience because
they are of local importance,
but they are the most important
roads in the state because they
are our very own. Permanent
roads to the ocean mean that more
people will go there.
j True we may have to hold our
church services at the oceanside
on Sundays during summer, but
should encourage them In every
possible way. -.'.'.- :
I We have, in mind a road' that
could profitably be hard surfaced.
It is from Dallas northwesterly to
the Wallace bridge on the Tilla
mook highway. ; That would sav.e
at least 10 rniies in 'going '.from
Salem to tho ocean, and for I he
people of Dallas it would save 18
miles. This is certainly' a con
sideration, and Polk county should
build this road. We are told that
the plans are to build it next year,
land we hope nothing will inter
fere with these plans because it is
highly Important. " r
GET OUT TO VOTE
i It is true that less than half of
those entitled to vote have ever
voted at a presidential election.
It is true that the other half ought
to have the same interest In gov
ernment as those who do vote. It
is a bad j state of af fairs that we
have a minority government.
This year an effort is being
made to get. out the vote.? We
are going to organize clubs under
that name. Membership in the
clubs does -not cost anything and
it gives a lot of information. In
fact we have reached the point
when it is absolutely necessary for
lis to teach .citizenship and con
vince the people thatjthe expres
sion of citizenship lies via the
ballot box. i I -
j There is some cold logic and
considerable patriotic motive back
of this plan.1 Collier's recently con
ducted a 24-year survey in which
the stay-at-home habit is shown
to be increasing ominously. In
1896 80 per cent ofi the voters
went to the polls; in 1900 73 per
cent; in 1908 66 per cent; In 1912
62 per cent, and in 1920 less than
50 per cent. ; -
UNFIT TO LIVE
j 'Recently three men -were, fined
because they refused to help ex-
tinguish a timber fire,
as their'excuse that
-They gave
they: only
would receive 1 40 cents an hour
and they would not work for less
than $1 an hour, r '
. There is no punishment too se
vere to deal with this class of peo
ple. They are: derelicts; they are
treasonable; and they are un
worthy of the respect or confid
ence of 'any decent man. Fighting
fire of this kind should not be a
iquestion of dollars arid cents. It
is a peril, and every man who does
not do his best, to subdue that
peril is a contemptible renegade
to citizenship. Fortunately there
are not many of this jelassj but it
lis necessary; to properly , brand
them when we do find them.
'A GOOD FLAN
Recently a careless driver was
sent to jail for 30 days in Port
land. This will do more to stop
carelessness in driving than any
thing else-. Men can- pay their
fines, but they can't serve their
jail sentences without serious in
convenience. No man' with respon
sibility enough to own an auto
mobile could go to jail without be
ing everlastingly disgraced, and
When a few of these stiff-collared
but reckless drivers serve jail sen
tences, we will see an end to most
of our carelessness, i i .
MY MARRIAGE
PROBLEMS
Adele Ganisom New Fbaae f
REVELATIONS OP A WIFE
Copyright 193L. by Newspaper
Tsatora Serrlea. las.
Chapter 228.
THE WAY KATIE TOOK THE
NEWS OF ALLEN DRAKE'S
; DEMANDS
"I'll not take your wager," I
told Lillian, smiling, "for I have
po desire to bet against a cer
tainty. Father just, told me Mr.
Drake was having some difficulty
with the codes." . - ' t ' '
"His trifling variation,'' Lillian
commented with a trace of mock
ing malice. "I'm only a novice in
Allen Drake's end of this game.
but J have a fancy that this time
he has underrated the task set
him. It wouldn't do him any harm
to bump his nose a bit, especially
as he's sure to come out on top
finally he always does." i
This, was in her voice, despite
her feline little wish, a distinct
tribute to Allen Drake's unusual
powers, and I knew that the mag
nanimoiis soul of her was-perfect
ly- sincere in her belitting of her
own knowledge of codes and her
exalting of Mr. Drake's ability.
Lillian can be. a trifle malicious
occasionally, but it Is not In her
to be petty. .
"Do you mean that he will
finally solve It?" I asked;
"He'll get enough of It so that
we'll know . where - things stand.
and he won't take final leave of
the thing until every tiniest part
elgn experts, and the dove-talllng
of their various records,' he'll
finally .get all of It. He's like a
bulldog, only more tenfecious. But
it will be a solar plexus blow to
his vanity not to get it all easily
especially afterr
that
spiel he
made to me.
A Laughing Promise.
"There's one thing certain. W'e
won't know he's fallen down un
less your father spills the beans.
There's just one person In the
world to whom Allen Drake
yields deference and j. obedience.
and that is your father, and it Is
the Chief, alone, who will know
what i he accomplishes or
doesn't."
A thrill ran through my pulses.
To Lillian Underwood and Allen
Drake my father's remarkable re
juvenation, and the triumph which
was almost in his grasp, were
matters of professional joy, of
loyal but a bit impersonal pride
in a brilliant chief. To me there
was a tensely poignant happiness
in knowing that the father whom
I adored was coming into his own
again. Allen . Drake's success or
failure was a matter of indiffer
ence to me when compared with
the wonderful news ! which my
father so . unobstrusively had
given us. Yet I felt a sudden in
explicable disinclination to discuss
Mr. Drake's prospects with -Lillian.
! ;!''.
"Well!" I rose, throwing out
my hands with a little gesture of
mock despair. "This isn't break
ing the dread news to Katie. If
you hear wild shrieks "
"I'll stand by in ambush wUh
hand 1 grenades," Lillian promised
flippantly, and I left the room
with the feeling that I was indeed
going into battle.
Dis Too Much!" I
The feeling was intensified a
little ; later -when after Katie had
listened silently and unsmilingly
to my list of the things which Mr.
Drake would require during his
self-imposed seclusion in his
room, she put her arms akimbo
and faced me belligerently.
"You mean," she said, and with
uneasiness i heard the tremolo
which always precedes hysterical
anger In her voice "you mean, I
got to feex all sorts of nice tings
all hours of day and night for dot
boonch of soup greens vot all
times stand and look at me like
I vun peeg or foony animal from
circus vot he nefer see before und
vant to find out vot I do? : Und
me mit all kinds of extra york on
hand, und shoost look at beeg
family in dis house, vork enough
tor two, tree girls, und I nefer
keeck, und alvays try to do
shoost efery ting you ask me, und
take sooch care of dot babee, und
stand all day dot old vomans no
matter vot shesay- Oh! . Oh! Dis
too mooch! I no can do dot. Dot
beeg sheep head he can cook
heemself, eef he vants sumting.
Me, I do noting for heem!"
The-flow of words, so fast, so
vehement that I felt as if a cloud
had burst above my head, sud
denly changed to the hysterical
sobbing which I sometimes sus
pect Katie has. on tap, ready to
turn on-at -will. I had watched
her closely, and had listened at
tentively, planning my course the
while. Now I stood, perfectly si
lent and motionless while she
wept and sniffled, waiting until
her insatiable curiosity got the
better of her. When I saw her
eyes furitively peering at me from
behind the hands which she had
flung before her face, I said, with
careful indifference:: i
"Very well, Katie, T am sorry
you feel that you cannot do this
for me. But it is something
which must be done, neverthe
less, my father has asked fo'r it.
So if yo,w will please leave the
cooking things when I can get at
them I will prepare-Mr. Drake's
meals myself." V
I, To be continued. )
FUTURE DATES
I
August 1 to 10, atatpwido American
legion drive for new members.
Aug-uaci 1 to ltt. Uvj Bcout inrnmef
camp. Caaeadia.
September 3. Wednesday, Labor Day.
September J5, Monday, Willamette
university open. '
i September 22-27, Oregon State fair.
- 7' - M - ' ;
Blanks That Are Legal
We carry in stock over 115 legal blanks suited to most any business
transactions. We may havej just the form you are looking for at a big
saving as compared to made I lo order forms.
x-,-- n:
Some of the forms, Cont act of Sale, Road Notice, Will forms, Assign
ment of Mortgage, Mortgag Forms, Quit Claim Deeds, Abstracts form,
Bill of Sale, Building Contract, Promissory Notes Installment Notes, Gen
era Lease, Power of Attorney, Prune Books and Pads, Scale Receipts, Etc.
These forms are carefuly prepared for the Courts and Private use. Price
on forms range from 4 cents to 16 cents apiece, and on note books, from 25
to 50 cents.
The Statesman Publishing Co.
LEGAL BLANK HEADQUARTERS
f- !- M jlrl
MasoylSasm
LINES PENNED AT THE SEA
SHORE
(By George S. Chappell.)
Alternately fog and sun
Work their ill upon my hide,
Dampt hed every morn by one.
By tho other daily fried.. '
'Damp, the garments that I wear
Ilojt.'niy brow, and peeling, too;
Stifrly glutinous, my hair.
Hard i o get the old comb thru.
Busted, all my racquet strings,
AVarp d, my clubs, from grip to
head, -
JSlimpsy, all my flannel things,
Dark, the. pillow on my bed.
Ocean,' you're the -Bunk, old
! - . Dear, . '
But I ask of you no pity,
For I'n going away from here
Goo' iye, Ocean; O you City!
CooiMration .
'Ah.
Gerald, if you could only
love like that," sighed the maid.
as they p watched the final fade-
out on the screen.. -
"Maybe I could." replied -Gerald
"If I had. a couple of high salaried
directors1 telling me how."
-Mrs. Hugh Harris.
Short and Sweet -
Shoe
Salesman: "Aren't you
the young" lady that called last
week for a. pair of shoes with a J-
short vamp?"
I Indignant Fatron: . "Sirf That
was my sister!"
-Richard Blever. .
Leap Year !
They tell me this is leap year and
I know that It Is true,, r.
It's been impressed upon, me till I
know it through and through.
Old Lady Luck's been with me and
I've kept alive so far.
For every year Is Leap Year for
a man without a car.
They say that leap year only comes
I ! one: in every four, :.'.;
But thaths not true. I've leaped so
: much that. Its got to be a bore
And up (until the present Ive es
! eapod without a soar.
For every year is leap year for
the man. without a car.
, .-I ' ' - ''".'
But I am apprehensive as I walk
j from day to day,
That sometime I'll forget to leap
j. or leap right in the way.
And if do I'm pretty sure my
features it will mar
Every year is leap year unless you
ariye a car.
E. P. Malone.
Too Convincing ;
I it naan t overplayed L my
hand, I jwould have landed a fifty
thousand dollar policy this morn
ing," rejmarked the insurance so
licitor, j ' ' ; - .
j "HowH was that?" Inquired the
manager.. ' ": -!
"I put the fear of death into
the prospect so strongly that he
is sure pe can never" pass a medi
cal examination." - ;
The Modern Version
j First
woman the old
Sheik: ; "Never chase ' a
br a street car. You know
saying, 'Another will be
along, in a minute.'
Secorii
d Sheik:
Yeh. and If
you wait long enough the same
one will
be coming back."
Jack Wood.
j Sidney says he named six bank
ers as his pallbearers., as they had
carried jjhim for so long, that they
might as well, finish the Job.
Could He Be Exchanged?
Little Helen had had a severe
scolding from her father, and was
brooding over her wrongs. ,
At last she blurted out: "Mama,
how loh
g have we had papa?"
Mrs. R. S. Filkin.i
My Hosiery!
The hours I spend with those old
socks - ' !r
Are jusi so many bachelors to me,
I look them over, plain ones and
j ' with clocks. .
PRINTED AND FOR SALE BY
At Business Office, Ground Floor
My hosiery! My hosiery!
Each sock a hole, from each hole 1
a run.
Some start at knee and end at toe, t
I find a few unfit to mend.
The runs have no place to .go. i
Oh stockings that have danced all 4
night, '
Oh stockings that havo1 worked all
day, r
They are all feet-less, so 1 might
as well .
Throw them all away oh dear,
Throw them all away,.
Mrs. Clayton C Ellis.
A man once crossed the Atlantic
and. when his last match went
out, threw his cigar overboard (
and It lit on the water.
: Air castles are usually built
with love stories Of "would."
j Ont Where Texas Begins .
Out where the , "gats" are a whole ,
lot thicker, .
And -the guy that lives has to
draw some quicker,
Out where the hooch kills a little
"deader," ' ,
Out where the girls paint a little
"redder" 1
Must be Texas.
N. H. Crowell.
' " "- i
The Higher Education
Maggie was a pupil in a rural :
school. She was extremely dull,
and her mother was complaining
to her. teacher about Maggie's t ;
poor grades. ;
"But Maggie has no persplcac- ' j
ity," the teacher replied. i
"She ain't!" the mother cried.
Well, if I give you the money
will you get her some the next
time you go to town?"
Mrs. Edna Walling.
Strenuously! '
"Is your wife still re-
Krlss:
ducing?" l
Kross: "If you mean my la-
come, I'll say so." ,
Edna Baehr.
Too Good
Morgan: "Why did you dis-
charge your new efficiency ex
pert? Couldn't he show results?"
Schuyler: "Results? Why. It
I'd have let .him stay another
week he'd have owned the busi
ness and fired me."
Samuel Julian Relsman. ,
Irepared
Maxine: "Would you marry a
bachelor twice your age, provided '
he was wealthy, dear?"
Judith: "Just introduce me to
one and see!"
Reader! are recreated to eoBtrlbate.
All humor, epigrtma (or homoroua mot
toct), jokes, aoecdotea, poetry, bur
lesque, aatirea and bright aayincs af
children, must b orlgiBal and aopnb
liahed. Accepted material will be paid
tor at regular rates. All manuscript
must be written on on aide of the
paper only, should bear name of thia
newspaper and ahoold be addressed ta
the Fun Shop Editor. The Oregon
Statesman.
I
PRINGLE
; ; ;
The Coats . threshing outfit is
now threshing, at the state farm
for the feeble minded. We learn -that
the wheat is threshing out
better than was expected. T
Harold Meeks, Who has been
visiting in Albany . for several f
days, returned home Sunday, and
said he was much pleased to be
home again. The Probst family
is visiting in the vicinity of Yak
ima, Wash." and expect to be away
for some time. ?
Mrs. Evans and daughter, Maud, t
visited friends in Corvallis Sun
day. Mr. Sanders of Portland spent ,
Sunday at his farm with his sons,
William and Frank.
Percy Robins is stacking his,
wheat this week.
Mr. Evans reports that his Io
.ganberries made two tons per
acre this season. G. W. Browning ,
and family of Chemawa vicinity
and Mrs. T. J. Browning of Sa-
lem visited with II. E. Stewart,
and family Sunday.
W,' M. , Coburns entertained
friends from Dayton, Ore., Thurs-1
day and Friday.
The roasting ears are short and
the spuds are small and the beans t
are drying up,; tops and all. .
f
r ia 1 1 n tr hjj y s 1 t tp a.JJ sjc ' a ft lvt