Ije (teflon 0tatjesimm
lined Daily Except Monday by
, THE STATESMAN PUBLISHING COMPANY
r 21S S. Commercial St., Salem, Oregon
f Portland Office, iz7 Board of Trade Building. Phone Automatic
611-93
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Tne Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the use for publi
cation of ail news dispatches credited to It or not otherwise credited
In this paper and also the local news published herein.
R.; i. Hendricks . ... ................
Stephen A. Stone ........
Ralph Glover ....MM. ...........
Frank JaskosU ....................
...... Manager
. .....Manarln Editor
. .Cashier
, .-r.wf.m Manager Job Dept.
TELEPHONES:
Boslness Office, St
Circulation Department, 6 SS
Job Department, S81
'Society Editor, lQf
Catered at the Poitottlce tn Salem, Oregon, as second class matter
THE FAITHFUL EARTH
Men sneered at the July weather, but men's friend, the
good, old, brown earth, smiled over it. The reason is made
plain in the United States crop forecasts.
Three billion busheLa of corn -the fourth largest in the
fanning history of the United States.
An increase of 15,000,000 bushels of spring wheat.
A record crop of hay 33,000,000 tons.
The second largest crop of white potatoes ever grown.
Two bushels of apples for every person in the country.
? The fourth largest tobacco crop.
Up in Canada the crop estimators say that the produc
tion of grains of all kind3 will far exceed last year's harvest.
Even in Russia, where everything else has gone to smash,
nature refuses to turn Bolshevik. The wheat harvest, says
Moscow; Is more than enough to' feed the entire Russian pop
ulation for a year. v i -,- n,
. (Commenting on these statistical facto, a writer in the New
York Herald says: : .,5 .
"It is marvelous' the way that this, planet, plagued by
wars, strikes, grafters, tax-eaters and common or garden
, fools, manages to sprout enough food for the 2,000,000,000."
tomato left in Oregon. But when
yon start off with a temperature
of 10,000 degrees,, a drop of 500
or 600 does not cut so much of a
figure. If a man is being- cre
mated, a change of 100 degrees
cr so would not make any vast
difference.
Bat if Betelgeuse Is only running-
under a temperature of 9000
degrees it is still a hot place.
Even Ilad&i would seem like a
cooling station by comparison. If
Lucifer ever turned up on Betel
geuse he would be wiring for his
Palm Beach suit..
. But they are not bulletining the
climate on Betelgeuse.- We are
told that it will be several tril
lion aeons before this star will
be cool enough to permit the ex
istence of living' organisms. The
dawn of creation will not strike
Betelgeuse " for 9,000,000,000
years or is it trillions?
There is no one on Betelgeuse
to inquire: "Is it hot enough for
vnn"
0 W -
"rave time, you show you don't
know xt he first thing about what
time means. Yon may need sav
ing, but time doesn't.
And, of course, the most ab
surd thing of all is to talk about
'killing time." Just wait long
enough and you will find the right
relativity. Anyhow, time has
eventually killed every being that
has. been created since the days
of Adam.
And yet rome little manikin
will teU the world that he is just
killing time.
-
rhptey. What would your reac
tions be, then, if someone should
attain Judgment against yon for
two or three million dollars?
Reparations must be reduced
to an amount that it is possible
for Germany to pay. Such is to
the" Interest of aJL For it will
e & step toward putting the
whole world on a sound economic
basis. Otherwise Germany may
drag ali into the mire by her collapse.
SWEETEXIXG THE PUGS
Now for prune picking and dry
ing. It will make busier times,
if. possible.' ",.:, '.;;.
The debt of the allies to the
United States totals, in'' round
numbers, $18,000,000,000. Round
numbers, all right.
Leas than 100,000 votes separ
ate the wets and the drys In Swed
en. Which means that! prohibi
tion Is nothing to laugh at, even!
In continental Europe." . . r
The wets have promised beer to
the thdrtty. within twoi years. rIf
they get tired waiting for it while
standing on one leg they can fiat
down the other.- Exchange.
Cart Gray, formerly lot Port
land, now -president of the Union
Pacific, declares that the railroad
ahopm(en rjke Is MtU Too
bad for the men who- were - mis
led; but the losing of the strike
will.be good thing for all the
rest of the country Including all
the working people excepting
those who lost their places and
may not be able to find others as
good. ' " f.' '
The primary vote in Ohio shows
that but . small percentage of
women east their ballots In the
recent election. , There was a fall
ing away everywhere from , what
was expected to be the btrength
of the woman Vote. Party poli
tics in Ohio, as in every other
state, for that matter, ts still very
largely a man's affair, in which
women, as a whole, take but a
very mild interest.
Los Angeles county simply
can't get away from it. There's a
Johnson for United States . sena
tor, a Johnson for state treasurer
and a Johnson for atateTaenator.
Is there such a thing sis too much
Johnson?-Los Angeles Times.
It is reported' that the soviet
government is about to offer for
sale the Russian crown jewels and
many art : treasures that . were
filched from the castles of royal
ty and the nobility at the time of
the debacle. An effort is being
made to interest rich Americans
fn these precious stones or paint
ings. They might be glad to buy,
but there is some question as to
title, and It is not likely that the
administration will consent to the
admission of such "purchases to
this country. Nobody will care
to take a ' chance on smuggling
these treasures. About the only
thing for the Russian plunderers
to do is to break up the collection
with a hammer and permit the
diamonds to trickle Into the mar
ket unidentified. They will lose
much of their historic value, tout
that will be the surest method
of getting real money.
HEAVENLY JlEAT .
Astronomers I are ' said ,to ' have
recently - calculated the tempera
ture of Betelgeuse. the vast fiery
star which makes our sun seem
like the flicker of a. 'firefly. BeteL.
geuse is ' hotter than Aldebaran
and, is now indicating a. tempera
ture of 10,000 degrees centigrade.
An astronomer is a person who
can tell how hot it is on a planet
40,000,000,000 mines away but
who cannot guess within 40 de
grees of -the temperature of his
bath,-..;;
But, at that, some' other star-gazer
is apt to get out his ther
mometer and monkey wrench and
give us another reading on Betel
geuse. He may show as that this
remote orb is carrying a temper
ature, of only ,9470 .degrees.
Everybody knows what that would
mean. If the mercury dropped
530 degrees In e, single .night in
this section there wouldn't be a
CKOWX JEWELS
The New "i ork boxing -commis-
eion Is pmiSfymg the ring, all
right. The commission now as
sumes the prerogative of inquir
ing. Into the domestic life and
moral behavior of the pugs. If
a hard guy beats up his dame
every Saturday night he cannot
hope to get any ring engagements.
Battling is to be done by gentle
men only. If an athlete's mar
riage and divorce -record Is not
straight be will not be permitted
to box in the state of New York.
Kid McCoy's nine wires would be
liable to bar him from the rin
in Gotham. The commission is
doing the Will Hays and Judge,
Landis stuff to the boxing ga'me
and when they finish the Clean
up only such unsullied characters
as Jess Willard and William J.
Bryan will be eligible for engage
ments. Exchange.
EUROPEAN FINANCE
SOME TIMELY THOUGHTS
If you want a practical proof
of the general popular ignorance
of the law of relativity, just con
sider the-farhion in which folks
talk about time. - J
Our relation with time is not
what are "we going to do with
time but what Is time going to
do with us. Yet who really gets
the right perspective? ;
There are those who will talk
of a laggard who Tolls his way
through life ,as one who "wastes
time." But there again they are
all wrong. Time is making waste
out of him. , i
' Possibly' you yourself have talk
ed about how you Intend to spend
time under certain more favor
able conditions. But- time len't
yours or any one else's to spend.
If you could spend time, you could
buy it also. And yet Rockefeller
couldn't buy one second with,, all
his wealth. ...
. When a train goes a little fast
er than It set out to do, you say
it is "making time." "That Is the
most meaningless, statement. So
also when yon do something to
A compromise has finally been
reached between England and
France.! Short term treasury
bonds are to be accepted toy the
cllied reparations commission lor
the, 1922 payments. Payments
due in 1923 are to be discussed
and arranged later. It is to be
hoped that) these natlonh come
to the realization by that time
that their own ends can best be
reached by compromise and co
operation.
Relations between nations are
much like tllose between indi
viduals Two self-centered indl
viduals with different Interests
can get along peacefully only by
compromise and cooperation. Life
is possible only through compro
mise. ' ' ' - " ,:' '
Inposible reparations .have
been imposed upon Germany. The
result has been that Germany has
stupidly led herself to the brink
of bankruptcy. Not; howeverby,
a wellv thought -'out program.
Rather it has been the ' natural
psychological result , Of the pre
posterous reparations. Suppose
you were on the brink of bank-i
WHY AUGUST HAS 31 DAYS
Why have July and August 31
days apiece, while poor old Feb
ruary has only 28 or, at the most.
29?
The vanity and pealousy of em-
perora explains this peculiarity.
In the Julian calendar February
used to have 29 days for the com
mon years and 30 for leap year.
The other months alternated regu
larly, one with 30, the next with
31 days.
Now Caesar's first name, Julius,
hani been given to the aejventh
month, and when the Emperor
Augustus decided to have a month
of his own he made up his mind
that certainly it should have no
fewer days than July, which was
Caflrar's.
i
.Consequently they cut another
day off February in order to give
Augustus his 31 and then re
arranged the sequence of strong
and weak months after August;
otherwise there would have been
three successive months July,
August and September each with
31 days.
; This is the explanat!)on given
by an Italian review, without
documentary evidence, according
to Le Petit Parisien, the great
Paris newspaper. -
perfect torrent of information on
the ease in point.
Prosecutron avoided him as U
would an adder.
The jury retired and returned.
The case cf the state was upheld.
The defendant was adjudged
guilty.
Some time later the astute wit
ness met one of the Jurors and
asked him how such a verdict
could have been rendered in the
face of his testimony.
Jut one reason why," replied
(he Juror. "You said ao much
we couldn't understand you."
Which is much to the point,
whether or not it Is true.
Too much talk has cheated
many otherwise good men out of
prospects and property.
"Don't spout and you'll never
spill your brains and your oppor
tunities," is the way Old Man
Frick used to put it.
Your mouth is a wonderful
opening if you only know
enough to keep it shut. (Ubual
per cent off on this generaliia-tion.)
WONDERFUL OPENING IP
YOU KNOW ENOUGH TO
KEEP IT SHUT
NOT QUITE DEAD
New York Is to have another
big hotel', a 15-story building to
coat 129,000,000. It is Increas
ingly apparent that prohibition
has tylled the hotel business.
Nashville Lumberman.
THE UPIJFT
How can! people complain at
the high cott of living when they
can get Jaxz-band renditions of
"Oogie, Oogie Wa Wa" and
"Deedle Deedle Dum" on the
t lame record for a trifle of 83
cents ? Exchange.
This story is told of a certain
astute party who was called to
the witness stand as an expert
In a serious litigation.
His replies to counsel and at
torneys worn narvlels i of raj)id
thinking.
Hi3 knowledge of the subject
discussed was almost uncanny in
Its grasp of detail. !
, Moreover, he was versed in the
law to a degree' which enabled
h:'tttt or forced him to express
himself in the most precise lan
guage, IWfi 'W "ands" and
fbuts" Just where they should be,
his sentences absolute periods.
Counsel was delighted wjth the
Witness.
He urged, him on, drew him
cut until he had given vent to a
FUTURE
DATES
S 8Ut
Elk
to
September T, 8 ani
convention, fl.ai1a.
Sept.nrber IS, Saturday D.A.R.
obferve National Constitnhon dajr.
fieptember 17, Sunday National Con
stitution day. ' '
8pUmbr 31 M and it Paadlsto
ronad-ep,
September 24, Sunday Annual T.M.
C.A. "Set ting up" conference, Wallace
farm.
September 27. Wednesday Oregon
Purebred Livestock association to meet.
September 16 to SO iaoluaiTa Oraffva
Stat fair.
October S, 6 and T Polk Connty fair.
Delia
Novtaler T, Tatsday Gmtral 1
tea.
SCTfOOXt .
STUDY .
sre&TS ,
II
mm
RTJIfOB
PLAT
WOKS
Copyright, 1023, Associated Editors
The Biggest Little Paper tm the World
Sdited by John H. MfUar
THE FUN BOX
Open the Lid and Laugh
.- -
"I think I'll take a day off," . "Willie: "A florae that runs hard
Temarsea tne oince 007, as u 1 mov, uu.i .
tore a leaf from hu calendar,
" Johnny, aslced ! the teacher,
"can you tell me the difference
between one yard and two yards,?'
. "Yes'm," replied Johnny, cheer
fully, "it's a fenco.". : ,-r
X A Riddlr, lVrhsps v-i
"Why Is a soldier like a round
hole In a rock?" -. f -
"Because he's drilled." '
. ld Von Know? .
-It's the sweet potato that makes
: postage, stamps t tick. This vere-
table has been found to make the
. most harmless gnrj. The liquid
is forced through the pipes and
: made' to drip- on the sheets , of
'printed stamps. Oi ; ,
v ' There are certain places In Mev
ieo where rain has never . been
known to fall, while in Torrent
Kentucky, it rains some time dur
ing every day in the. year, .
A cyclone moves at the rate o
' B85 yards a second.
)
: Teddy: "I wish I hadn't licked
Jimmy Brown "this morning.;.
Mother: "You see', now . how
wronsr it is to fight, don't you
dear?".-. . ';.- y'-
: Teddy: "You bet. ' I dldn'
Iwtow till noon that his mother
Mothers "Yes.
Willie: "And a chair like this
that doesn't move around stands
fast, doesn't it?" -
Mother: ."Yes..
Willie: "Well, what 1 wn to
know is, which is i.he f.es:t'
Why She Knew,c At
-Mary Jane: 'Tye been 'reading
how they can tell all about what
kind of person yon are by read
ing the humps on your head."
Emmy Lou: "Huh! That's all
bunk. I had my -head read- that
way once, and' lound there was
nothing in it."
rTHE SHORT STORY, JR.'!
KATHLEEN MAPCAP
, Kathleen stuck her hands In
her sweater 'pockets, and locked
up at the two boys with a tanta
lizing grin. VIa like to see any
body keep me -int of any place.
she boasted with curling lip. The
two hoys shitted aneaslly. They
knew she meant It.
"Oh, well," agree! Stub, "come
on. Well see whtt'g doicg."
.The three o them moved down
the road, the .olaede.. handsome
girl swinging along wfwh a boyish
stride - Kathleen Made p'V olrter
fierce temper, a con. H)t for all
girls, and a gift of mimicry that
made her entertaining, but feared.
No prank was to 5 daring for her
"Here's the turn in the road,"
said Howard. Beyon-1 was a low
ering house and alongside it a
number of apple-treR, with the
red, tempting apples, which were
the object of their expedition. .
Stop whistling, Kathleen. That
old man may be around and hear
us."
Huh!" retorted Kathleen
"Who's afraid? Hp's blind, ien't
he?"
Teh, he's half-blind, but he
hears, all right. ' Tie's a fierce old
tight-wad, too. Once he took
gun after a fellow. Better watch
out."
They vaulted lightly over .the
fence. Stub climbed "up the near
est tree,. while the others watched
for him to throw down some;ap-
ThAv did not intlfi th l'chr
footfalls'dHJtbe g''ass. The first
thing they heard 5-ras a roar'like
an. angry hulli ar Ye "didn't tmn
I'd hear.ye, ye spalpeens! :Ou(
wid ye off nnrrtherwni; be done
this day,", The . beetle-browed
man. waved a blackthorn club a
he advanced on them. with an nn
erring sense of direction.
The boys stood as if froieu
Only Kathleen did not seem to be
afraid." Her eye J danced with ex
citement. She spoke in a soft
voice, like a true Irish colleen
"It's sorry I am," she began, and
went on to explain she dldnt
know the apples belonged to any
one, being new thereabouts, a
she had just come over from the
old country a month ago.
- The man's aagry expression
softened like magic He talked
with .her eagerly. He invited her
in for a bit of tea, and Kathleea
followed, with mocking backward
smiles at the two tuDefied bora
It was some lime later; thai5 nXe
turn of the road. "You sure fool
ed that old duffer," grinned How
ard.
"Oh shut up!"... commanded
Kathleen Madcap. v "Don't you
dare let him know how I fooled
him." '.I'm going to visit him evr
ery week. He's a dear. If you
tease me about it, I'll FILL
I'll " They never told.
I PICTURE PUZZLE
Amonq the trnnos, , m ju&KS'
lu neb -box era orunrt r t
'Answer' to" eUrdy'a: "Onvar. oiaiie.
Allan Ryan, who recently went
bankrupt on the New York stock
exchange with liabilities of S30.-
000,000 or so, disposed of his
tangible assets at a creditor's sale
the other day and the amount
realized was $8100. Looks as if
his creditors would not even get
the half of 1 per cent allowed
jnJeT the Vc'stead act.
A Spokane man played 22
rounds of golf and made 198
holes on a nine-hole course in a
single day. He tegan at the first
glimmer of dawn and kept it up
until darkness had set in. He
covered a total of 53 miles in the
15 hours and wore out three cad
dies. He took a pint of ice cream
and four raw eggs at starting,
but had .no other nourishment
during the day. This is believed
to be the marathon record for
golfers. When the human engine
can run all-day on a quarter's
worth of Ice cream It has a Ford
skinned.
2 Days Starting Today
A First Run .
Western Classic
SURE, YOU KNOW 'EM:
Roy Stewart
1. . ,i ...:..- - . . . v - . - s w m- .v..;--..- h. .wis!
Marjorie Daw, Wallace Beery and, .
y Johimy lker,1 - ' i
We will also show a comedy that is absolutely a
knockout
Get your Free or Discount Tickets at the following
places of business and follow the crowds
. at 2, 7 and 9 p. m.
The Spa .
C. & C. Store
Buttercup Ice Cream and
Polar Cakes - " -Handy
Cash Grocery
A. II. Moores Bicycle Shop
The Candy Coop
Smith's Cigar Store
Paris Shoe Store ' '
Goodyear Shoe Repair
Holsum Bread
The French Shop ,
Acme Restaurant '
Acme Chocolate Shop '
Hazel Pure Candies
Rex Shoe Shine t
The Man's Shop
Dr. Geo. F. Hiner
The Song Shop
The People's Cash Store
Liberty
0 neaxi
e
Both lor Men and Women
Oxfords are again to be the -most popular foot wear for this winter and we now have a complete
stock of all styles of Oxfords in every known pattern, shade and combinations of colors and pat
terns. We are offering these new styles at very low prices, considering the high quality and, the
good reputation of the factories making these shoes. You can buy good Oxfords at !'
jaoo to s.oo-
Just Received New Shipment of Pumps
We have the most attractive line of new pumps ever shown in Salem, made up in all the new styles,
including kid, patent, satin and brocaded silver. These high grade pumps can be bought at
a .
NEW HAN AN SHOES j
Both for men and women. A complete line now in
stock to fit every foot at the new price
$12.50
NEW FLORSHEIM SHOES
For men in both black and brown, dozens of styles
to select from, every width and size, we can fit any
foot. The greatest line of shoes in the world for
$10.00
AN EXPERT SHOE REPAIR MAN
iis now in charge of our shop and we
are in a position to turn out the fin
est work in Salem at reasonable
prices. ,
THE PRICE
SHOE
CQ
si -as
SebYSavi
Fm Paxpi
DtxBaxOil
ft, ....
VticiQaDectv
CafBdSUfoot
XwtAiBd
DR. WILLIAMS, Expert Foot
Specialist, always at your service."
Removes corns, treats bunions and
relieves all foot trouble.
was going to give a parly.--
1 people called he vv-She: had
cam- outran A, met -them. -at' the