ORJGQOX CITY, OEEGON, FBIDAY, OCTOBER 27, 1871.
jc iUcckln (Enterprise.
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IIJW TIIBY Il.vh IH3I.
When I was yonna: and tender too
I hud to mind and had to do
Whatever mother bade me.
She used to have a walnut stick.
Which kept me on the double-quick,
And that was where she had me.
When older grown, and quite a beau
Anions the frills. I used to know
A MNs I'risciila Quduiy ;
.X nd v. ith Hie ludp of smiles and nods
J fell in love at forty rods
And that is where she had me.
When I wa3 older, say sixteen,
I thought i: lime to have a queen,
And asked her it she'd vd ni".
'.?he'f3 lid she didn't much object,
'Or words sotnetliiiiff to that eil'ect,
And that is where the had me.
Hut when, to make1 the matter straight,
I went up to negotiate
Affairs with Colonel Cadmy.
lie said he "didn't c ue to sell."'
lb told me I might go 1o well,
And that was where he had me.
I drowned my sorrow in the cup
Until I got my dander up.
(I couldn't hare been much madder)
When she proposed that we be one
In spite of pa the thing was done,
And that was where 1 had her.
Two lovely urchins on my knee
Fin proud to say belong to me,
(That is. to me and madam :)
For when we left our native sod
We spent a year or two abroad.
And that was where we had "em.
A Slanderous Telegram.
From London Court Circular.
Otto of the peers of England
lately made himself very seriously
and needlessly wretched about the
fidelity of his wife, though tli ere
was some excuse for it.
During the Army-bill debate,
the lady's noble husband, who is
as proud and fond of her as he
should be, was about to deliver a
violent attack, upon something or
somebody, when a telegram was
put into his bauds, lie read it,
turned pale, and quitted the house,
called a cab, drove to the Charing
Cross station, and wont to Dover,
and was not heard of till the next
day, when he returned to his own
home, and to his first inquiry was
told that the countess was in her
own room. lie hastened to her,
and a terrific row ensued, the ex
act words of which no one knows
but themselves. At last, however,
he burst out :
"Then what did you mean by
your telegram ?"
"Mean ? What I said, of course.
What are you talking about?1'
"Head it for yourself," returned
the still unappcased husband.
She did read :
"I ike with Mr. , to Dover
straight. Pray for me."
For a moment she was startled,
but then burst into a hearty fit of
laughter.
"Most dreadful telegraph people.
Xo wonder you are out of your
mind. I telegraphed simply:
"I tea with Mrs. , in Dover
street. Stay for me."
His lordship was so savagc at
he laugh he had raised against
himself; that he was at first in
clined to make a parliamentary
question of it ; but listened to
more judicious advice, refrained.
Two Kinds Take Torn
Choice. There are two kinds of
girls; one is the kind that appears
best when abroad the girls that
are good for parties, rides, visits,
balls, Arc., and whose chief delight
is in such things. The other is the
kind that appears best at home
the girls that are useful and cheer
ful in the dining room, sick room,
And all the precincts of home.
They differ widely in character.
One is often a torment at home;
the other a blessing; one is a moth,
consuming everything about her;
the other is a sunbeam, inspiring
light and gladness all around her
pathway. The right kind of edu
cation will modify both, and unite
the qualities of both.
A Good Rule. Back yo ur
friends and face your enemies.
A Great Farmer's Maxims-
The successful life of Mr. Jacob
Strawn,the prince of American
farmers is attributed to the close
observance of the following max
ims, originated by himself:
When you wake up do not roll
over, but roll out. It will rnve
you time to ditch all your sloughs,
break them, harrow them, How
them.
Make your fencing high and
strong, and tight, so that it will
keep the cattle and pigs out.
If you have brush"" make your
lots secure, and keen vour lios
f from the cattle; for, if the corn 'is
j kept clean, they will eat it better
than if it is not.
lie sure to get your hands to
bed by seven o'clock they will
rise early by force of circumstances.
Pay a hand, if lie is a poor hand,
all you promise him; if he is a
good hand, pay him a little more;
it will encourage him to do still
better.
Always feed your hands as well
as you do voursclf, for the labor
ing. men are the bone and sinew of
the land, and ought to be well
treated.
I am satisfied that early rising,
industry and regular habits, are
the best medicines ever prescribed
for health.
When rain v, bad weather comes,
so that you cannot work out of
doors, cut, split and haul your
wood.
Make your racks, fix you fence
or a gate that is off its hinges, or
weatherboard your barn where the
wind has blown the siding off, or
patch the roof of your barn or
house.
Study your interest closely, and
do not spend your time in electing
Presidents, Senators and other
small officers, or talking of hard
times when spending your time
whittling store boxes, etc.
Take vour time and make cal
dilations, don't do things in a hur
ry, but do them at the right time,
and keep your mind as well as
your body employed.
Marriage Maxims
The following marriage maxims
are worthy of more than a hasty
reading. Husbands need not pass
them by, for thev are designed 'for
wives; and wives should not de
spise them for they are addressed
to husbands:
The very nearest approach to do
mestic happiness on earth is in the
cultivation, of absolute usefulness.
Never talk to one and another,
either alone or in company.
Xever both be angry at once.
Never speak loud to one another,
unless the house is on fire.
Let each one strive to yield
oftenest to the wishes of the other.
Never find fault unless it is per
fectly certain that a fault lias been
committed; and always speak lov
ingly. Never taunt with a past mistake.
Neglect the whole world lather
than one another.
Never make a remark at the ex
pense of the other; it is a moan
ness.
Never part for a day without
loving words to think of during
abscence.
Xever meet without a loving
welcome.
Never let the sun go down upon
any anger or grievance.
Never let any fault you have
committed go by until you have
frankly confessed it and asked for
giveness. Never forget the happy hours of
early love.
Never sigh over what might
have been, but make the best of
what is.
Never forget that marriage is
ordained by, and that His blessing
alone can make it what it should
be.
Never let your hopes stop short
of the eternal home.
Woman Suffrage. A woman,
writing a sharp review of the wo
man suffrage doctrine as advocated
by the notorious Mrs. Woodhul,
concludes with the observation
that "one of the -evils to be dread
ed when women vote, is that few
besides courtesans will be able to
obtain oflice." This seems to hit
the case. In the same article the
writer, referring to Woodhull's op
erations among Senators-and mem
bers of Congress, says : There is
no telling what these modern Cleo
patras may do, according to Mrs.
Woodhull's own testimony, how
ever 'cold and distant they may
be at first, they soon send to her
to visit them at their lodgings,
after which they come out flat
footed for woman suffrage.'
Creditable. A Yankee paper
says in an obituary notice, that
"The deceased had been for several
years director of a bank, notwith-
tlll.li.llii!i iiit.il lie; uitu i -iiii3
tian, and universally respected.
The Four. Seasons. Mustard,
salt, pepper and vinegar.
Another.
We have been pained to hear of
not less than two weddings knock
ed into cocked hats during the
pas two weeks in the one case by
the lady "skedaddling" while her
swain was riding night and day to
wards Kerbyville for a license; in
the other, by a sudden change of
mind on the part of the lady on
the wedding day. Now it be
comes our painful duty to chroni
cle another marriage knocked into
"pi" this time, however, by the
faithless swain, who, by-the-by,
happens to be a preacher. It
seems he took an affectionate leave
of his lady love for the purpose of
proem ing a license. She desired
to go with him, but out of consid
eration for her comfort, lie protest
ed he could not allow it, as the ride
to Kerbj'ville would be too fa
tiguing. Well, he rode off gaily
after the piece of paper which
should authorize him to enter into
the "holy bonds of padlock" that
veiy evening. But, alas! he never
returned. The last heard of him
he was crossing the mountains in
a direction different from Kerby
ville, to fill an appointment. The
most charitable construction to be
placed on his conduct is, that he
forgot his pastoral duties in the
midst of liis love-making, and only
remembered them when about to
consumate his nuptials when he
haun t time to send back word to
his forsaken damsel. So many of
these little breaks occurring so close
together constrains us to say, with
the bewildered Dutchman, "Mine
Gott, vot a beebles !"-
7
i j tea.
Ge: mans in the United States.
A table in the New York Her
ald gives the following :
The total number of Germans
residing in the United is 1,600,533,
distributed as follows: Alabama,
2,482 ; Arkansas, 1,503 ; Califor
nia, 29,999 ; Connecticut, 12,443 ;
Delaware, 1,142; Forida, 597 ;
Georgia, 2,701 ; Illinois, 203,758 ;
Indiana, 78,000 ; Iowa, CC,1C2 ;
Kansas, 12,775 ; Kentucky, 30,318;
Louisiana, 18,933 ; Mafne, 993 ;
Maryland, 47,045 ; Massachusetts,
23,072 ; Michigan, 04,043 ; Minne
sota, 41.3G4 Mississippi, 2,800;
Missouri, 113,018; Nebraska, 10,
954; Nevada, 2,181; New Hamp
shire, 43G ; New Jersey, 54,000 ;
New York, 31G,902; North Caro
lina,904 ; Ohio, 1 72,897 ; Oregon,
1,875; Pennsylvania, 100,1 4G ;
Rhode Island, 1,201 ; South Caro
lina, 2,751; Tennessee, 4,539;
Texas, 23,085 ; Yermont,370 ; Wis
consin, 192,314; Arizona, 379 ;
Colorado, 1,450; Dakota, 503;
District of Columbia, 4,920; Ida
ho, 38S ; Montana, 1,233 ; New
Mexico, 582; Utah, 358; Wash
ington, G45, and Wyoming Terri
tory, 05 z.
--
A Tidal Wave. Of course the
subject of universal interest just
now is the predicted tidal wave,
wiucn is to break: upon us the
night of the 5th proximo. The
anxiety about it, especially in the
recently inundated district, has
risen to a feverish heat. The peo
ple gather at the street corners,
and discuss the matter excitedly
whilst many plans, looking to an
escape from its effects, are pro
posed with ingenious and elaborate
cunning. Uiic person, an ancient
matron from Ethiopia, has gone
to work with energy, and, like
Noah, will be prepared for the ad
vent of the flood. Around a huge
iron kettle sue lias constructed a
raft of hencoops. Seated in the
kettle, she expects to float away
when the tide comes in, and save
her chickens as well.
"Do you think you'll get off,
Aunty ?" inquired an interested
spectator.
"I'm gwinc to get off or bust
this biler !"
"And land on Ararat?" pur
sued her questioner.
"No," replied the sable devotee,
"I-aint gwinc to carry nary rat
along. I'se gwinc to take dese
chickens !"
The indignant emphasis of this
assertion precluded all further in
quiry. j O. Picayune.
-
An English lawyer insisted on
speaking after the learned judge
had cautioned him to desist, till at
last his irritated lordship cried:
"Sir, 'tis no use speaking; what
you say to me goes in one car and
out of the other."
The advocate would not be si
lenced. "My lord," he said, "Vis no
wonder, when there's nothing be
tween 'em to stop it."
Soox. An ingenious mind has
invented a sheep-shearing machine,
to which the animal under opera
tion supplies the motive power.
W e shall soon have mutton roast
ing itself and walking on the
table.
A Wife's Text. "The right
man in the right place" a hus
band at home in the evening
Loose Life at Washington.
The Washington correspondent
of the New Yoik Jlerahl gives
a frightful revelation of social
life in certain high circles at
Washington. He says:
The public may have forgotten
that one of the last acts of Presi
dent Johnson was to remove from
oflice, or retire from the active list,
Rrcvet Maj-Gen. 15. W. Brico, Paymaster-General
of the United
States Army. Disobedience to
orders, or indifference to them,
which is the same thing, was the
cause of the President's action.
The clap-trap cry was instantly set
up by lirice and his'claquers that
"Brice was known to be a friend of
Grant, hence disliked by Johnson,"
etc. That was enough whether
true or not. The very first official
act of President Grant was to re
instate Price as Paymaster-General
at the head of the Pay Depart
ment. We are now told by President
Grant's principal organ in New
York, that Hodge's defalcation is
manifestly the result of "the care
lessness of the chief of his De
partment" Gen. Price; that his
examination of Hodge's accounts,
as required by the law and regu
lations of the Department, "was
omitted because of the favoritism,
and from the vicious S5'stcm which
has prevailed in the Pay Depart
ment, whose chief is, by his habits
incapacitated for doing business,
and who lends an easy faith to
others, while he nglccts the affairs
of his own office."
A reform is required in other
channels besides the one Avhich
seems just now to attract the at
tention of certain moral reformers,
the press, and city authorites.
Let the truly moral people of
tuc j-nstrict revive tne great asn
ingtonian movement in earnest,
and appeal to the heads of the
several Departments to sign the
total abstinence pledge anil stop
drinking and getting drunk.
George S. Routwell, the -Secretary
of the Treasury, is the only one of
the Cabinet Ministers surrounding
President Grant who. gets up
every morning with a. clear head
for business, lie never rises intoxi
cating drinks. Let him deliver, as
he can, an address in the House of
Representatives upon the duty of
men holding high and responsible
positions of trust confided to
them by the people.
A Suspicious Husband-
The SVcics Letter relates the fol
lowing good one :
Returning home late the other
night, a gentleman living on Mis
sion street disrobed without ( light
ing the gas, and lay peacefully
down beside the partner of his
-! 11 1 !
joys, linking oacic upon tnc pil
low, he straightway raised him
self again and remarked':
"I say. wife ! how's your pillow?
Warm?"
"Why, what a foolish question,"
returned she, "my pillow is all
right." -
"Is it real warm ?" he asked.
"Certainly it is ; I've had my
head on.it for three hours."
Apparently satisfied, he lay
down, and was silent for some
time, when a vigorous nudging in
the side of his wife proved he had
another idea.
"1 say, wife."
"For goodness sake what do
you want ?" petulantly answered
the sleeping dame.
"I say ! you don t use hair oil,
do you ?"
"Of course not ; you know that
as well as anybody. Do for
mercy's sake, go to sleep."
A hour passed in silence, broken
only by the solemn ticking of the'
clock in the darkness. Then there
was another spasmodic nudging :
"I say, wife ; you didn't put the
calf under this bed to-night, did
you ?"
"Gracious me !" returned the mat
ron, "what is the matter with you?
Of course the calf is not under
the bed. Will you never go to
sleep?"
"Well," replied her lord, sliding
his legs outside of bed, "I'm d d
if there ain't something alive under
here."
There were the sounds of a
scrabbling round, a partial upheav
al of the couch, the quick gleam
of a white garment making for the
open window, through which it
disappeared, a thrashing around
the rose-bushes outside and all
again was still.
The custody of the children has
been awarded to the husband.
How They ahe Corrupted.
How modest girls are corrupted at
the watering-places is thus told by
a correspondent: Our girls have
sharp eyes and nimble perceptions.
They see the sensible high-necks
going to the wallj pushed aside
by the favored belles, who do not
wince at a liberal display of neck
and bosom. These never go un
attended, and are engaged many
deep for all of the dances."
Practical Hints.
to Clean Oil-cloth. A good
way of cleaning oii-clotji. -is to
sponge it well with skini'miflc. as
it brightens and preserves the
color.
3filJc of 7iO.t's. Bitter almonds
four ounces ; elderflower water,
two ounces. Make an emulsion,
and add oil of tartar, one ounce'
and a half; tincture of benzoin
one drachm. Cosmetic. Beautifies
and renders the skin smooth.
To Mal-e Black Soft Wax.
Take bees' wax one pound, Tur
pentine three ounces, oil of olives
one ounce ; mix and melt them
together, to which add lamp or
ivory black; and when cool, make
it into what form you please.
7b Destroy 'Warts. Dissolve as
much common washing soda as the
water will take ; wash the warts
with this for a minute or two, and
let them dry without wiping; keep
the water in a bottle, and repeat
the washing often and it will take
away the largest warts.
To Care Carbuncles. The fol
lowing ointment is good for simple
carbuncles : Take half a drachm
of opium and mix up with two
ounces of white ointment, spread
as thick as the back of a knife on
a linen rag and apply to the part
three times a day.
7o Cure Stlnys of Tnsects. A
remedy for the stings of wasp,
bees, etc., that often proves effec
tual, is simply to hold a chest key
or any hollow key over the place
stung, press it hard into the flesh a
minute or so, and when taken off
the poison will be on the surface
of the flesh and do no harm. A
thimble with a top will do, but
not quite as well.
Cax it ee True ? The New
York Sun propounds the following
interesting inquires:
Can it be true that President
Grant owns 50,000 in stock of the
Seneca Sandstone Company of
Washington.
Can it be true that this stock
was a present to him, and that he
never paid one cent for the $50,
000 worth.
Can it be true that this $50,000
of stock in the Seneca Sandstone
Company was presented to Presi
dent Grant by the owners of the
Seneca quarry through the Hon.
II. 1). Cooke of Washington.
Can it be true that after this
handsome present, President Grant
appointed the Hon. Henry D.
Cooke, governor of the District of
Columbia.
Can it be true that the Seneca
Sandstone Company is making a
great deal of money through vari
ous official relatives in Wash
ington. Ve trust all these questions can
be answered in the negative. Pres
ident Grant has so many political
misdeeds to answer for that wc
should hope that this particular
case of present taking may be kept
off his account. But we have re
ceived a statement of the facts
here intimated from such a source
that we dare not withhold them
from the public.
--
Be Gextlemfx at Home. It
is cruel and cowardly in any man
to speak to the woman under his
roof in a manner that would for
ever disgrace him, if heard under
any other. Yet how many do it,
alas ! and even go their ways after
it, selfishly forgetting the tears
and bitterness they have caused,
and selfishly expecting, if they re
member it all, that on their return
the domestic sky will be without
a cloud. More the pity when it is !
Then, indeed, is there danger
in the air ? for then too often
comes deceit, and hypocrisy, and
indifference.
Refuses to Believe. The
Troy Times refuses to believe that
women are at the bottom of most
of the ruin brought upon men and
women and nations, and adds : By
the side of each one of these
'ruined' men, history, by its silence
at least, places millions of men
who have not been ruined by wo
men, and hundreds on hundreds
who have been sustained and sup
ported by good women, and un
written and unwriteable history
might show thousands and thou
sands more."
It is remarkable that the wealth
iest citizens of Xew York are all
at an age when most men are too
infirm for affairs, yet they are not
only hale and vigorous, but active
ly engaged in conducting their
own business. Wm. B. Astor is
nearly 78 ; Alexander T. Stewart,
79 ; Cornelius Vanderbilt, 78 ;
Daniel Drew, 74 ; Peter Cooper,
78 ; G. Law, 73.
.
Woxders of Fasuioxs. Wear
my hat on my head ! Impossible,
grandpa, dear. Haven' done such
things for ages ! It's pinned on
with my hair !
General Butler and Senator Sumner
Sumner's Opinion of Grant.
We have. seen in the Journal
what purports to be an account of
a private conversation between
General Butler and Senators Sum
ner and MWilspn, . Politics have
come to a very bad pass when
private conversations are retailed
by anybody ; but when one por
tion purports to be given, perhaps'
it may ue as. well to give all parts
We have heard that General But
ler saw Senators Sumner and Wil
son, yesterday, upon the subject of
what was printed m the newspa
pers. Air. Sumner said that while
his language was not given, lie had
had conversation with two editors.
We learned also that a discussion
was had between the senior Sena
tor and General Butler upon the
causes oi difference, Mr. Sumner
saying that his difference with Gen-;
eral Butler was a political one ;;
that General Butler favored San
Domingo, but that Sumner did not;
General Butler favored the rcnom
ination of Grant, and Mr. Sumner
did not. General Butler then said
that, this being the ground of the
political difference" between Mr.
Sumner and himself, the quicker
the fight came olf the better, be
cause he desired the integrity of
the Republican party, wliich'Mr.,
Sumner and Mr. Greeley would
certainly destroy, and General
Butler saw no hope in the future of
the Republican party but in the re
nomination and election of General
Grant. General Butler also stated
that the Journal, having advised
the Worcester Convention not to
endorse the renomination of Gener
al Grant was evidence of where it
stood. There was much other per
sonal conversation, which we re
frain from publishing, even xjnder
the provocation of a supposed, re
port of it furnished to the Journal
but which, if either of the Senator
desire to have published, can be
easily given in detail.- lo show
Air. Sumner's opinion of Grant we
have,, but ...to repeat what he has
said on more than one occasion:
"General Grant," he says, "is the
lowest , man who ever sat in the
Presidential chair; lower intellect
ually than Andrew Johnson ; low
er morally than Franklin Pierce
and lower socially, because in pri
vatC' life Mr. Pierce was a gentle
man." This is the exact language
used by Mr. Sumner, who does uot
hesitate frankly to say that Gen
eral Grant should be impeached
for his conduct towards San Do-
mm go
JJoston Traveller.
A Monstrous Womax. At the
fortT -first annual, meeting of the
British Association for the advance
ment of science, recently held in
Edinburgh, Sir Duncan Gibb con
tributed " A Xote on the Fat Wo
man now exhibiting in London. "
As a rule, he said, enormously fat
woman were rare compared with
men. Caroline IIcenan,now exhib
iting in London, is 22 years old,
and weighs 40 stone or 500 lbs;
she is 7 feet around the body, 3
feet 0 inches across the shoulders,
and 2G inches around the arm.
Differing from most fat people,
though the limbs are very large,
they are not exclusively composed
of fat, a large proportion being
due to her muscular development,
which is confirmed by her history
and actual inspection. The chest
and abdomen are of course enorm
ous, but not from simple obesity.
Her growth and enlargement have
been progressive from infancy, and
withal she has been able to sus
tain great muscular exercise that
would have fatigued ordinary per
sons, which is opposed to the
view of pure adipose-enlargement.
At 9 months she weighed seventy
pounds, at 9 years she was eleven
stone, and at 14 years she was
twenty-four stone. She is hand
some, and pleasing, face not fat or
greasy, is highly intelligent, and
not in any "way drowsy. She will
in all probability progressively in
crease as she gets older, and may
become the largest and heaviest
female who has yet been seen.
--
Air. Coulter was the victim of a
mistake in Missouri the other day.
Several of his friends got together
and fitted a rope around his neck
and drew him up to a limb to
make him confess to the particulars
of a murder. lie wouldn't confess,
and they let him hang just a min
ute more. The coroner's jury re
turned a verdict that 'the deceased
came to his death by the improper
care exercised by the lorn Taylor
Vigilance Committee.'
"I once dreamed," said Pat,
"that I called upon the Governor,
und he axed me would I drink, I
tould him I didn't care if I tk a
drop of punch. 'CoM or hot."
axed the Governor. 'Tot, ycr Ex
cellency,' said I ; and he stepped
down in the kitchen for some
rtnd neiore nu iivi,
back I
woke straie up; uuu now
it's clistre&M"
f hrjf. I f k n r,
take it
QFte Tomb of Sidney Johnston.
"Town Talk" of the New Or
leans Tunes gives us the following. '
The epitaph is indeed beautiful and
and appropriate : o
A lady correspondent, in a re
cent stroll through the St. Louis
Cemetery in this city, visited the
grave of Gen. Albert Sidney John
ston, and found a written epitaph
pasted upon a rough board attach
ed to the tomb, in her note to T.
T., our far correspondent says she .
was affected to tears ujon reading
it, and took the trouble to copy il,
verbatim. Here is the beautiful
epitaph: ,
IX memorial.
Behind this stone I.i laid, for a season.
AL11ERT SIDNEY JOIIXSTOX. -
A General in the army of the Con
federate States, who fell at Shiloh,
Tennessee, on the sixth day of
April, A. I)., eighteen hundred and
sixty-two; a man tried in many
high offices and critical enterprises,
and found faithful in all.
His life was one long sacrifice of
interest to conscience, and even.
that life, on a woful Sabbath, did
he yield as a holocaust at his coun
try's need.---
Xot wholly understood was he
while he lived; but, in his feath,
his greatness stands confessed in a
peoples, tears. Resolute, mod
erate, clear of envy, vet not
wanting in that finer ambition
which makes men great and pure.
In Ids honor impregnable; hhis
simplicity sublime. Xo country
e'er had a truer son no cause a
nobler champion; no people a
braver defender no principle a
purer victim than the dead soldier
who sleeps here"!
The cause for which he perished
is lost the people for whom he
fougn'j are crushed the hopes inss
which he trusted are shattered
the flag he loved guides no more
the phagring lines; but his fame,
consigned to the keeping, of that
time which, happily, is not so
much the tomb of Virtue as its
shrine, shall, in years to come, fire
modest worth to noble ends.
In honor, now, our great captain
rest; a breaved people mourn him.
Three commonwealths claim him;
and history shall cherish him
among those choicer spirits, who,
holding thicr conscience unmixed
with blame, have been, in all con
junctions, true to themselves, their
vvimnjj ailVl lilV.il V VI . Q
Ax Opixiox of the "Beast."
In his Springfield harangue, Ben
Butler said: "do anywhere, every
where, and find a good soldier who
served under me, and ask him
about me, and I will abide his an
swer, whatever . it rnay be."
Whereupon a veteran, who offers
to compare his record in the army
witn tnat oi Jiutler, publishes a
letter, in which hesa-s: "I served
under Gen. Butler while he was in
command at Fortress Monroe, in
1803, and all the time he was in
command of the Army of the
James. During the whole time I
never heard, so far as I can remem
ber, one word spoken in his praise:
but he was always regarded, by
both officers. and men, as an incom
petent leader, and an arbitrary,
tyrannical, brutal commander. I
never met a person in the army
who expressed the least confidence
in his justice, honesty or military
Il-Ullllj.
ii.u:f "
IIorrirle Suspicion. ---Chignons
are
rising
in Paris. The French
"capillary artists" now sell annually
140,000 pounds of hair, which.
when braided, curled and cork
screwed, bring in a revenue of
more than $15,000,000 ! There is
a horrible suspicion that dead fe
males arc scalped in order to sup- o
ply the demand.
Cax't Calculate. A man in
making his income return, wrote
on it: "For the last five years mv
income has been under $1,500, but
as the man is dead from whom I
borrowed the money, I can't calcu
late what it may be m the future,
The Chicago Tribvne says that
the people of the United States
would "probably turn out in great
er numbers to see Goldsmith Maid
or Laura Fair than to hail the Pres
ident of the nation."
Particular. A householder m
Florida, in filling up his census
schedule,underthe heading "where
born " described one of his chil
dren 'as "born in the parlor," and
the other "up stairs." A strict re
turn.
The difference between a coun-
try and a city greenhorn is, thato
the one likes to know everything,
and the other thinks he can ex
plain it to him.
Less. A man with a scolding
wife says that he has less fear of
the jaws of death than of the jaws
of life.
Uxiiealtiiy. Five children in
Mobile died lately from eating
nainted rnnilr.
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