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OEEGO CITY, OREGOar, PKIDAY, AUGUST 11,1871.
WO. 40.
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E!jc lUccliln (enterprise.
J DEMOCRATIC PAPER,
FOU THE
gusinsss Man, the Farmer
ite FAMILY CIRCLE.
UEI)
72V Kit V FIUD.VY BY
NOLTKEr,
K D1TO II AND I'Ur.LISIIER.
7C'-:-I,i Dr. The-saiVs Brivk Building.
Til It MS of SUBSCRIPTIOX:
ie Copy one year, iu advance, S2 CO
r yV.'i U S' o J TA' R ITS IX G :
ms'-nt .i 1 vert i-eni.r:its. including all
!,.'- i! iitu:cs, i -'
of 12 hues, 1 w.$
2 50
J.'j r ,; t.-il sie.-t"iil -utilise rtlon. . .
! 0 du-nu, oiio year
Ililf " "
Onr-pr " "
i,; ies, Car.!, 1 square one year
1 00
$120 00
00
12
f.S" R -null inren to be made at the risk o
Su'j-:ri'K'ro, and (it the expense of Agents.
nooh' a.xd dor, printing.
'he i::it-rprisi; uRi :e is "applied with
!, riTif.il. :j:i)rvd stylen of type, and itiud
o ii t vOlliN'il 'ilS.Sl'Irs, wliieli will eiiiible
i,,. i'nijr.t'tui' tn do J -ib l'i iutinj; at all lion's j
X, at, Q iir'; and Civap !
v " -V i lie ) ,c 1 1 e.l .
j" ; i it tr i.'ii:fdioiis upon a Specie bash
Attorney at Law,
tii;iji City, Oregon.
Sept.l'i-.l v.
J OHN 31. r,Acox,
T in ;')i tor aiid Dealer in
G
ct: e-sl. 9
STATION KIIY, rilllFUM HliY, ic, Ac,
O''1 ' CV.'f, Oregon.
A' Ch
O in t Wm-'u-i '.i v.'J .'-t -id, lately oo-
. !) S. Afk rii:i, Main street.
1 1 1 tf
jOHN FLEMING
:
d;
ALMR IN
STATIONERY j
J -J J A
1 : m i
It C IS CITY. CTiECJON.
i. t t . i
In Odd K. ii..v ' Ten pie, corner
'li st and Al l r Str.-ct-. ! 'm tland.
:tr on t ' ; 'Ii" e destr tig snpcr'o-i
s i in -;.rc ul teque-t. Nitrous ox
. i ai-il-- exM-.ietiD'i of tetli.
. icia. toot i "bet it tliari tbe best,''
, th:
: l
H.
HATCH,
I)
1
X T I S T
p-ntou ie of ttiiise desiring (Tutx
.v. is l esneettull v solicited.
S itishii-ti')-.! i:i all cases uarauteed
N. !J. --X,fr-i
- V, ,-,,. tAcydf aduauisterea ior tue
I i i . i i -i !'. v t i:i-t inn of Teeth.
,),vic,4 -la Wf i 'ant's new building, west
side Fht street, beuveen Alder and Mor
rison streets, l'ortlaiid, Oregon.
i t r ;r-
md Let Live.
JILDS & STlilCKLEU,
DM VLIHIS IN
P10VI3I0H3, GROGERISSj
COUNTRY PRODUCE, &c,
OH Old I WIXKS AND TAQUOIIS.
t the old -f ind of Woitman & Fields
Oi'egou Cit. , Oregon. iati
7 II. W ATKINS, M. P.,
SUTiGKON. roiiTL-wn, Orkg( n.
OFFICE Odd Fellows' Temple, corner
First a nd Mder streets-
-Residence comer of
Mu!i and Seventh streets,
V4 .
F. HIGHFIELD,
Ed iblished since ist9,at the old stand,
Mtin Street, Oregon City, Oregon.
n Ansorttoeat or aienes, -e
Irv and Seth Thomas' we-ght
'' n-'ks, all of which are warrante d
m ie aj represented.
R.Mviirinscs done on short not;
nd t'nnkf'il tor past tavors.
-Q
CLHK
GHEENMA1T,
o
City Drayman
OTi EG OX CITY.
VII
rders for the delivery of merchan-
d :s" u'ka.'es and freitrht of whatever des
crinti.n.to anv nirt o- the city, will be exe-
citel pr -aptly and with care.
THY YOHK HOTEL,
(DeHtfehes Craftans,'
No. IT Fr-uit. street, Mpos:te the Mail steam
shin landing, Portland. Oregon.
II. R9THF03, J. J. WILKENS,
PROPRIETORS.
Rijrd per Week
i " with Lodging.
" Div ,
i on
A. G. AVALLIXG'S
Pioneer Rook Bindery
o u fa; o n i a n h iT 1 n i N r-
Corner of Front and Al 'r Street.
PORTLAND. OREGON.
HLVNN HOOK RULED and BOLNP to
v 1 i f ? mttrrn.
anMVTO. 'WK. MVOAZTNF.P. NFWS-PVP'-'R.
Ec, Sound m every rariety of
stvle known to the trade.
yrA"r3 fi'om tbe country promptly at
cii4d to.
"LITTLE SISTEIt NELL
BY GEORGE C. GII MOKE.
I had h little sister once,
In cl ildl o"ds happv d vs.
Whose lovinsr smiles I'll nVer foro-et
Throuyh life's t. mptuous ways '
t?he was so pure, so rood ;t il
And, motber lovel li-r weli. '
She seemed an angel leaned t eartfi
"My little sist. v Nell." '
At morn, lit r 1 tile praveis went un
To Heaven's b igbt tiirone nb .ve,
For father, mother and fur me, '
In innocence and love;
Her little flowers thn she'u view
With water in her pail, '
Then spi inkle o er with tiny hands.
"My little sister Nell."
'he often talked of r.od, and Heaven,
Ahd the angels up on high. '
And v sheil so to be with them
In their home beyond the xkr;
She would not play as others ii ,
15ut lea;n her les-o"s wi ll.
And foremost i l the class was seen
"My little sister Neil."
But sickness came, poor Ii tile Nell,
Was sad to leave us all.
But. she said the angels beckoned,
And she must obey their call;
She told us all to follow,
Then breathed last fuewell,
he'd gone home with the impels,
'My little sister Nell."
Long years have passed away since then,
Some 'Taught with joy, s me pain,
But all my pleasure-; I'd icsign
To he a club) again;
Yet! hope at times pa'iits visi iih,
And my h- ait within rn Wilis,
For in II aven oon, 1 i,o)e t meet
"Mv liit.e aister Neil."
The Ruinous EefTcts of High Protec
tive TariU's.
From the Kxin;iner
There is nothing iii the whole
history of Congressional leirisla
tion more atrociously unjust than
rotection, sti-ealled, as illustratei
by our present laws. It is a thou
sand fold worse than the taxintr of
projierty holders to subsidize rail
roads, and yet it is the same in
principle. It is equivalent to tax
ing property directly to raise a fund
more than enough to support the
Government, to distribute amonv;
a few favored capitalists. And
they alone derive benefit from
"protection." It does not increase
in the slightest decree the wanes
of the worUinx-meji and workin;
w oitu'ii and workinu,-ciihlren. It
tioes not tal-e one minute from the
hours of their d.'iily toil. It does
not add one particle to their hu
man comforts, if human machines
can have comforts. It only fills
the coffers ol heartless corporations
and capitalists at the expense of
the toiling many.
In a commercial point of view,
too, it is blihtinjj; in its effect. It
has reduced our tonnage to one
half what it was before the war.
It has crushed out ship-buihlinix. It
has closed the foreign markets to
our domestic manufactures. It
has thereby depressed instead of
stimulated our urcat manufactur
i nix interests. A most conclusive
pr.
ool or mis is driven ov ine oooi
and shoe nianufactur.-i's it
. i "r .
New
lnirlaiHl. e have receive! a
.i
protest signed by lour hundred
leading New England manufac
turers in t his business, set t ini; forth
the depressing effects of the high
tariffs on their business. After
enumerating the articles used by
them, commencinir with the leather
at 35 per cent., they show that the
combined tax lias yielded the Gov
ernment from this source only 83,
500,000, while there is imposed
upon the manufacturers ot boois
and shoes a tax of 818,000,000,
which is eventually paid by the
wearers of these necessary and
indispensible articles. We quote :
The direct consequence of these
protective taxes is such an increase
in the cost of our products as pre
vents our competing with the
manufacturers of boots and shoes
in other countries. Of late years,
there has been an increase of
twenty-five per cent, in the pro
ductive power of a given amount
of capital and labor engaged in
our manufacture through improved
machinery and new proces-es.
This gain, winch should have re
sulted in cheaper boots and shoes,
has been completely nullified by
protective taxes. The legislation
of our own country has driven our
products from the markets of Can
ada, Mexico, the West Indies, and
outh America, which we had en
joyed for more than a century. It
has transferred the manufacture of
our products to a great decree to
Canada, where it enjoys greater
advantages, and is subject to fewer
impediments, in the prosecution of
business. Thus, our count rv l as
to this extent lost the benefits of
this industry and given her wealth
to others, through a system of
tariff taxation, professedly framed
to foster and encourage American
industry, but which expels it
from America and increases the
wealth of other nations.
This is a most striking illustra
tion of the ruinous effects of pro
tect ion, so-called. There are few
who understand the magnitude of
this interest. We learn from sta
tistics given in the JFftc Trader
that in the value of its products
and the number of hands employed.
it exceeds any eithe r single indus
try in the country. The product
of boots and slmes in 1808 was
valued at $246,252,000, and 131,-
3.33 hands. These added by their
Labor to the value of the raw ma
terials 1 10,082,392. Let us com
pare these fiirnros with those of
other leading industries. Theriro-
duct of the manufacture of cotton j Committee for over three hours
goods was estimated for the same ! yesterday, lie was first interro
year, at 184,000,000, of which j gated as'to the existence of a band
less than 870.000,000 are to be j f armed men called the Ku-KIux
credi.ed to the labor of manufae- ! i'i that tate. On t!:is point, he tes
turings i)erformed by 133,000 j titled decidedly that, of his own
hands. The woolen industry em- j knowledge, and after having en
ploys 90,000 hands, and produces j deavored to ascertain by all means
an annual product of 8150,000,000, i in his power, lie was satisfied
of which about 800,000,000 are to ; there was no such organization,
be credited to the labor of manu- i and thai the oldest residents in
facturing. The whole iron indus
try of the country employs 115,
000 hands; including those pre
paring the ore and the fuel as well,
as producing the various forms of
iron. The entire value added to
the raw material by the furnaces,
rolling mills,etc, amounts to about
8120,000,000. These figures, un
aided, present an unanswerable in
dictment against the legislation
which, with supreme folly, has
taxed almost to death the greatest
and best of our home industries iu
order to fill the pockets of woolen,
iron and cotton monopolists with
unlawful gains.
The manufacture of shoes, says
the lure Trader was firmly estab
lished in Lynn previous to 1051,
and in that year shoes made in
that town were exported from
Poston. Protectionist
W ho
gull
no
eV-
riTl-
our
the
the people by assertions
th:;'
manufactures will spring u:,
eept under the stimulus ot go,
ment bounties, and that all
manufactures originated in
system of Protection, carefully
eschew such facts as these. Leath
or was more abundant and cheaper
in Massachusetts in 1051 than it.
was in England, although the hit
ter was an old country, and the
former a struggling infant colony
only twenty years old. Colonial
records informs us that in 1009
there were tanners anl shoemakers
in every town of the Masa hiw 1 Is
colony. In 1 78, it is staled that
L vim actually exported one hun
dred thousand pairs of women's
shoes. In 1705, the town contain
ed two hundred master-workmen,
and six hundred journeymen. 300,
000 pairs were annually exported,
some to the Middle and Southern
Stales, and many directly to
Europe. One manufacturer ship
ped during a period of seven
months 20,000 p
This home iudu.-; rv thus took
root and flourished, nwt only in the
absence of protection, but in the
face of the adverse legislation of
the mother country. The distress
which wrung this protest from
the si maun fact tiers takes its
place with the depression of Amer
ican ship-building, and the ruin of
the wool and woolen industries is
another illustration of the truth
that if you favor one, you are eer
a:n to injure another industry,
dependent or complementary. It
demonstrates that Protection de
stroys the ability of American la
bor to compete with "pauper labor"
of other countries. Taxes upon
his tools, his clothing, his food,
fuel, and shelter, are the Protec
tion the American gets against
loreign competition. Once the
boot and shoe woikers were, busy
night and day supplying foreign
orders; they had good wages and
were happy. How is it now ? The
extract from trie protest
above answers this question.
given
Honor tiik Scissors. -The Amer
ican Newspaper Peporter has some
very sensible remarks under the
above title, which we subjoin :
"Some people, ignorant of what
good editing is, imagine the get
ting up of selected matter to be
the easiest work in the world to
do, whereas it is the nicest work
that is done on a paper. If they
find the editor with scissors in hand
they are sure to say, 'Eh ! that's
the way you get up your original
matter eh '? accompanying their
new and witty questions with an
idiotic wink or smile. The facts
are that the interest, the morality,
the variety and usefulness of a
paper depend, in no small degree,
noon its selected matter, aim Jew
men are capable of the position
who would not ?:-enssvl""es be able
to write many of the artieu-- they
select. A sensible editor -h -ires
considerable selected matter, be
cause he knows that one mind can
not make so good a paper as live
or six.
The father of our respected
President was married fifty years
ago to-day. There are a great
many very excellent people who
v ill regret" that that venerable old
official bummer did not conclude,
fifty year sn-o, to not marrv at all.
C h i cu (jo Tim r?.
"My boy," --said a clergyman,
don't you know it is wicked to
catch fish on Sunday ?"
"Guess I havn't sinned much
yet," said the boy, without taking
his eyes off the cork; "hain't had
a bite."
The Ku-Klnx Investigation Testi
many of Hon- P. M- Dox.
II
on.
P. M. Dov, of Alabama,
i was examined before the Ku-Klux
his section of the country would
bear witness to that fact. lie
further testified that in 1808, dur
ing an election which was held in
that year, the negroes became un
ruly and boisterous, to such an ex
tent as to alarm peaceable citizens.
They by some means secured arms,
ami freouently in snuads would
march through the streets and
roads in cities and villages, firing
them off in a careless niannti,
much to the alarm of women ai.d
children, and that lives had been
iost by these imprudences of tlx
colored people. They were ex
postulated with and requested t"
refrain therefrom, but to no pur
pose. Accordingly, with a view
to self-protection, the citizens of
the village's and small towns thus
annoyed, banded themselves to
gether, as a kind of local patrol,
such as existed before the war in
Alabama.
In order to work on the super
stition of the negroes, masks were
used by some of the organizations,
with the view only of frightening
them, and by such means endeavor
to subserve the object, for which
the organizations were formed.
This may have been the prime
cause which led to the belief by
many that there was a systematic
formation, with chosen officers,
called the Ivu-Klux ; but of his
own knowledge Mr, I), testified
that the local patrol thus spoken
ot accomplished tin object of pre-
servieg quiet and
rd
t r in a s
iort
space of time, and at once there
after disbanded, and no organiza
tion of any similar kind now ex
ist ill in the State.
Mr. Dox was then questioned in
regard to the testimony of liev.(?)
Mr. Lakin. He testified that he
lis
not personally acquainted
iim, although he had heard of
I .
him ; that he had read his state
ment made before the committee
published iu the newspapers ; that
alter so reading he had travelled
in various sretiousof the State,
with a view to ascertain definitely
the character of the man, and
I hat, almost universally, by respect
able citizens, regardless of politics,
the opinion was entertained that
they would receive his evidence
cum, ffrtiuo $di. One eminently
respectable citizen, who personally
knew Mr. Lakin, told him that, in
conversation with Lakin on the
subject of Ku Klux, he stated to
him that "he had never been
treated betteriu his life than by the
citizens of Alabama."
The witness testified that men
had been killed in Alabaa a, just as
the same grave offense had been
committed in other States, and
for causes which had their origin
between man and man, which
might arise from various sources ;
and further, that he spoke of facts
within his own knowledge, when
he asserted that of those killed in
the section where he resided, all
were Democrats, and he had yet
to learn of the murder of a single
negro.
He was then invited to give his
views as to the best means of main
taining order and pc:tce through-
out the South ; to wl
ich
he
re-
plied that, in his judgment, un'ver
al amnesty would heal all discord,
ami end -all political trembles.
Patriot.
-- -O-
Shall It Succeed ? Congress
man Peck is telling the pe'Ople
some.' very pungent t ruths about the
corruption of the liadical mana
gers at Washington. He s.r.s
that thousands of millions of dol
lars are gone without a trace', tin
loss which cannot, or will not, be
explaine'd. Willi I he cessation of
hostilities there was war material
in the most profuse abundance
stored in the liffer nt Government
depots, besides mules, horses and
supplies. A great "part of these
were sold, and yet not a dollar has
bee n accounted fer. Secretary
Poutwell acknowledged that the
Depart ment had squandered mil
lions iu that, way; yet a bill to re
quire an account to be rendered of
these transactions was laid on the
table and killed by a party vote.
Sham Republicanism could not af
ford to permit the light of day up
on its corruption and public rob
bery. And this party, young in
wars and old m venality, is work-
in:
to he conunueei m
power.
A pious individual opened the
Radical State Convention in Iowa
by praying for forty thousand Rad
ical majority in the State.
The Effects of Uaiiexl PtrSdy on the
General Welfare.
From the Examiner. J
The liadical party is a party of
aggression Its leaders know no
halting place in their raids upon
the rights and liberties of the poo
pie ami the States. When they
succeeded by fraud and force, in
engrafting the amendments upon
the Constitution, it was understood
that the work of reconstruction,
so called, would stop there. Put
they were not contented that this
of should be. Their party was born
agitation, and only by agitation and
sectional strile could it live, aniiso
the "bayonet act" and "Ivu-Klux
bill" were put through not to accom
plish anv good purpose, but to g ad
the Southern people to some act of j
resistance, and a fiord pretext bn ;
farther reconstruction. Inthisthev
have been disappointed. The ;
Southern people saw through the
nefarious purposes of their oppres
sors and tormentors, and have act
ed with a dignity and forbearance
worthy of all admiration. The
Congressional Nosing Committee,
instead of convicting the Southern
people of lawlessness, have demon
strated the wickedness of the war
fire which has been waged against
them by the Washington agitators.
This bad treatment of the South
has been a severe blow at her at
tempts at reorganization and indus
trial development. Put the lovs
fails on every section of the Lrnion.
Our shipping interests are para
lyzed; our home manufactures find
a limited home market in regions
that were once the best markets
for the sah' of Northern and West
ern productions. We- import and
pay in gold for products once raised
in superabundance within our lim
its. Py the hostile legislation em
acted against the South we have
tie j rived our own industrial classes
of employment, and the capital of
the nation is diminisheel to pay for
articles preduced abroad
prtiduecd aoroad and im
ported in vessels not of our own
nationality. In our large cities
thousands are condemned te idle
ness, because by tin wise legislation
they are d eve-d ot voi that
would follow if disabilities and
penalties did not cnisli -he enter
prising spirit of the pi .e'e in ene
third the area of the e,. ,ntrv.
The' ext ra v ; gance- the Admin
istration has ea ised high taxation
(in the necessaries of life, with
swarms of official.-- to colh-ct the
taxes, and some of the impositions
have been of that character that
the revenue elerived from them
would not pay the expenses ef
their collection. The tariff has
been so adjusted that it gives im
memse bounties to manufacturing
lords at the expense of every eb'ss
ol consumers
and
orkmg men
of many grades, who could earn a
respectable living at their trades
under a proper system of revenue
duties, now earn but a precarious
support lor tjieir families. Pccip
roeitv of commerce is no longer
the principle of our Government,
and, in-dead of endeavoring te re
gain what we' have lost, the pivs
edit Administration is erecting leg
islative barriers to e-ornmcreial in-tere-onrse
with feueign nations as
hi'di ami strong as the walls of
China.
The adoj, ted . amendments were
regarded by the liadical party as
sufficient to settle all the issues
greiwing out of the war. It was
supposed that their ratification
would be followed by universal
amnesty; the people of the' Ne;
ami SeMith e-arnestiy desired n
filiation. The prosperii v and h
th
niness of each section reouire
! it.
The- eiections in the various Stati s
exhibited the revival of friendly
fee ling and a general determination
te hav in future an cconennic ii
administration. It was to arrest
the progress jf these movements
that the scalawags in the Sout he rn
State's, seeing their eiccupations
menaced, determineel to invoke
Federal aid to maintain them in
power. The peaceful etjmmunities
i i
of tiie South who were endeavor
ing to retrieve the-ir losses by pa-ti'-nt
toil were represented as guiity
of fiendish ciimes, and the admin
istration, perceiving that its power
in the Western, Middle and North
ern States was rapidly waning, in
timated those-enact me nt s, which at
an early day the national mind will
re-garel as the scandal of the age.
The question will be asked, could
such things be? The Alien ami
Sedition Laws, that marked the
close of the last century, are sur
passed in infamy by the penal en
actments of our own time-s by
those laws elesignnteel the Bayonet
Law anel the Ku-Klux Act.
A New Hampshire editor, who
has been keeping a record of big
beets, announces at last "the beel
that beat the beet that beat the
other beet, is now b--itmi 1-iv n
j .
beet that beats all the beets,
whether the original beet, the
beet that i . at the be , or the
he't. tll!i: in 'it f 1m !.-,, I lw LiKJt
I -- v.... n. i n wi. lijv w-i,
that beat the beet."
About Platforms.
When Thomas Jefferson deliver
ed his first inaugural adelress, he
laid down what he conceived to be
the principles of government. They
form the best platfom of Demo
cratic principles ever anuneiated,
in office or ent of office, and for
nearly three-fourths of a century
have' been rolling principles gov
erning the great party of which
Mr. Jefferson was the ae kuou lege 1
head. They are as follows:
"Equal and exact justice tf) all
men, of whatever state or persua
sion, religious or political.
"The support of the State gov
ernments in all the-ir rights as the
surest bulwarks against anti-repub- (
Mean t eudeaicie's.
"The preservation f the gener
a! government in its whole eensti
tut ional vigor, as
of our peace at
abroad.
"A jealous care
election by the v
"Absolute a '
decisions ed the :
the sheet-anchor
mine and safety
of the right of
p!e.
eiu-e in the
qority, the vital
principle of republics, from which
there is no appeal but to force, the
vital principle- and immediate' par
ent of despot i rn.
"The supremacy of the civil
over the military authority.
"Economy in public expenses,
that labor may be slightly burden
ed. "Enceniragement of agriculture,
and of commerce as its hand-maid.
"The honest payment of our
debts, and sacred preservance of
the public, faith.
"The diffusion of information,
and arraignment of all abuses at
the' bar of public reason.
"Freedom ed religion, free-dom
of speech, freedom of the press,
and freedom of person, under the
protection of the habeas corjna,
and trials by jury impartially se
lected." These eloct lines were gooel
enough for Jefierson ; they were
good enough for the country during
the golden period, and all we ask
is a return te those sacred princi
ples. They guided this Govern
ment threnigh an unexampleel peri
ed of happiness arid prosperity, and
it was only upon the abandonment
ef these doctrines that misfortune
fell upon the country, North anel
South.
Littte Things.
The Pest Headc'arters
Praius.
A Pklative Position Stand
ing Godfather.
A Lucky Hit An original idea
striking one.
Useful Domestic Cookeky
Making both ends "meat."
Little girls believe in the man
in the moon
big gills believe in
the honeymoon.
A woman's tears soften a man's
heart ; her flatteries his head.
Why is a dentist like a farmer? j
Pecause he pulls out stumps anel
fills ache-rs.
Why is a comet more like a dog
than the dog-star? Pecause the
comet has a tail, and the dog-star
has not.
They say there is a sawmill
down east that wnrs so e-asy, that,
as a young man was sitting en a
log as the1 saw was running
through, he was sawed
in
halv
es.
and lid not discover it until
the
overseeT told him te roll off.
A farmer who had lost, a sheep,
advertised thus: "Lest orstraved
mi
from me, a shepe, all over with one
leg was black, and it had a black
head. All persons shall receive
live dollars tvwaid trj bring to me.
He was a she goto.
A very absent-minded individual
being upset from a boat in the
river, sank iwi !. '"ore he could
remember tha; h . uld swim. lie
fortunately reuu mbe-re-d it just be
fore he sank the third and last
time. A gnat invention is mem
ory.
A man in I'eti ;! was fooling
i ,:n .i . . i -
iouiim a sawinoi, ami not nenig
able to find his finger, went home
without it ; now he brings suit
to recover it freun the man who
liel find it, and who preserved it
in a jar of spirits.
"How much cider did you make
this year?" inquired onefarmerof
another, who had offeree! a speci
men tor trial.
"Fifteen barrels," was the
answer.
Another sip.
"Well, if you had another apple,
you might have made another
barrel."
A Query. If women don't
smoke, whv is it that they have so
frequently" Hi tie holes burned
through the front brcadthsof their
summer dresses ?
A little boy three ye ars old, who
has a brother of three months,
-ave a reason for the latter's gooel
conduct "Baby doesn't cry tears
because he doesn't drink anv wa-
ter, auu can v wj mu.
.1 I . . . r.( I t ,w 1 1 1 - ?1
Begin Eight.
The following, if not new, is, at
least, true, and is worthy of atten
tion at this particular time, when
so many "of 'em" are rushing in
content ly into the holy, bonds of
matrimony, to be lost to us for
ever. "This little fable," said my uncle,
"may perhaps be of service to
some poor de il, 'more willing than
wise.'
A ee-rtain man once married a
lady whose reputation for amii
bilit.y of disposition was seriously
questionable-. At the wedding
everything went eff merrily, of
ceuirse : the party gav, the supper
magnificent the. whole affair had
been eminently successful, and all
parties extremely delighted.
On retiring to his apartments q
the gentleman found himgelf an
noyed by the mewing anel purring
ef a cat.
"What in the devil's name is
that'?" he exclaimed.
"Oh, nothing, my dear," but my
favorite eat Pussita."
"Oh, d n Pussita I hate cats'!''
f -
and ivith this uncerimoniousiy
threw Pussita out of a se?0nel
story window.
"Well, if you haven't got a tem
per !"
"Yes, mv dea r, y
IT,
d better be-
lieveit."
" Everything, " continued 'my
uncle " went on weil in that estab
lishment even to a warm dinner
on Sunday."
Now, it so happened that a friend
of the above named gentleman
who had some months bef ore "com-
mitted the
' error
of marrying" an
angel, ' tooic occasion to inquire ot
c
him :
"ilew is it, that with you every
thing 'goes merry as a marriage
bell,' while I on the contrary, have
almost given up the idea of wear
ing the pantaloons at all."
"He related to him the story of
Pussita ami the second story
window," saiel my uncle, "without
fully impressing on his mind the
important moral that it was nec
essary to begin right. Neverthe
less, there was that in his eye
when he startel for home 'that
told of treason."
"Well !" said his wife, "you've
come home at last, have you, after
keeping me sitting up for you.
And what's the matter-you haven't
been drinking have you? You
look very strange."
"Not in the least, my dear but
I hate cats, my love."
"You de, do you? well T like
'em that's all the difference."
Hereupon the unfortunate hus
band made a dash at poor Tabby,
who was quietly snoozing on the
sofa, and rushed impetuously to
the window.
"You have been drinking.
What are you going to do,
monster ?"
"Throw her out of the window."
"You'd better try it ; I'd like to
see you do it; I'd break every
heme in your body; why don't
vou throw her out ? I dare you to
doit, sir!"
He put the cat softly clown on
the sofa hung his hat on a peg in
the hall his manliness and his
pantaloons on an easy chair, and
said :
"Go in, ducky, darling, and win ;
I elieln'l be gin right."
"I rather think you didn't
yoti'el betti-r take a fresh start -but
elon't try that game again, or
you'll catch it. Come to beel"
and he Went.
"Wrong from the beginning,"
saiel my uncle. "Oh, dear me."
Dei.inq u e n is. All d el i n quen t
subscribers to newspapers will "aj
preciate" the following clipped
from an Exchange :
A steiry is told of an editor who
died-, went te Heaven, but was
denied admittance, lest he would
mee t some elelinepu nt subscribe rs,
and bad le e lings be engeiulered in
that pi a- e'fid e -lime. Having togo
somewhere, the editor text ap
pe-areel in the legions d' darkness,
but was po--itively re iuseil admit
lance, as the place' was full of de-linque-nt
subscribers. Wearily the
editeir turueel e.n k to the celestial
city, and was met. by the watch
man at the portals with a smile,
who said; "I was mistaken, you
can
j ute I ! there IS lioi vnir
quent subscriber m Heaven
He
mt w v -w
At.baW. Oregon. July 31. Yesterday
morning about o'clock, at th Jndiau.
enmn in the upper part of tow n, soaie In
(li ni's. while gambling got into aow,
a.Miiio- wfcicli a halt' civilized Indian
n ,uiM Jim Kirk owning arid Hying en a
ranch near Uriovrisvilie. in this county,
shot aud instantly killed another Indian
nutii'-d Charley. The murderer was
caught and i.s now held in close confine
ment in this place.
A Vermonter lately taken to
task for beating his wife, extin
guished his prosecutors thusly ; "I
have read ancient and modern
history, and rode on a peddler's
cart thirteen years, anel I think I)
know something ot human nature
and when my wife ought to be
whipped."
G
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