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The Weekly Enterprise.
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rOR THE
Businessman, the Farmer
Ami the FAMILY CIRCLE.
j la-ISUSHEB EVERY SATURDAY
t T-rrrrnrnpr of Firm and Main streets
Oregon City, Oregon.
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iuir ;;
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ROOK' AND JOB PRINTING,
f 3" Hie Enterprise office is supplied with
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1 ern MACHINE PKE&SRS. which will cual.Ie
f t..e Proprietor tv do Job Piinting at all times
I Neat, Quick and Cheap !
53 Work solicited.
-VI J'i.n' tra:) teti"ns upon a Specie busts,
i ' ' JOHN MYERS, Financial Agent.
JJ USIXESS OA RD S.
R. F. BARCLAY,
aVMO Jtti.-Wt-O -C3 Jui
(Formerly burgeon to tlie Hon. H. 1J. Co.)
OFFICE At Residence, Main street Ore
pan City, Oiegon.
T H. W ATKINS, M. D.,
SURG EON'. PoKTr.Axn, Okkg n.
OFFICE 9.") Front street Residence cor
ner f Main and Seventh streets.
J. WELCH,
DENTIST.
, imminently Located at Oregon. City, Oregon
; ROOMS With Dr. Raffarrans, on Main st,
3 W. C. JOHNSON. V. O. M'l'OWN.
Notirj' Public.
I JOHNSON & BIcCQWN,
0 Oregon City, Oregon.
, KT Will attend to all business entrusted to
fiircaie in any of tlic Courts of the Statft,
( ullfct mouey, Negotiate loans, sell real estate
rti . Particular attention given to contested
tl nJ cae-i.
) A. C. CIUIM.
c. w. paiuusii,
Notary Public and Cm. of Jjccdt.
GIBB3 & PAERISH,
Attorneys and Counselors at Laid,
, Portland, Okego.v.
OFFICE On Alder street, in Carters
t brick block.
'j. H. MlTCIIKtX. J. X. DOLPII. A. SMITH
' Mitchell, Dolpli & Smith,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law,
Solicitors in Chancery, and Proc-
c tors in Adwirallu-
- J5T Office o-fir the old Post Office, Front
is'reet, I'ortlaud, Oregon.
Logan, Sliattuck & Killin,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
So. lOO Front Street, Up Stairs,
I PORTLAXP, OR EC. ON.
:pAGE & THAYER,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
OFFICE In Crce's Building, corner of
S Front and Stark streets, Portland. SJ:tf
i '
' f. CAri.ES. J. C. MOKELAND.
CAPLER ,t MORELAXD, "
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
' Cor. ritOXT and WASHINGTON Sis.,
PORTLAND, OREOO".
J,
AW PAKTNKUSIIIP.
.IAS. K. KELLY,
r.- i,lrnfp, Columbia st
I lwt. 2d and 3d t.
j. ii. ni:r.n,
Ttesidence corner of
Columbia and 7th sts.
i Jas. K. Kelly and J. 11. Reed, under the
l firm name of
. KELLY A UKED,
TV.!! practice law in the Courts of Oregon.
i Ullice on First street, near Aiucr, over me
rtw l'ost office room, Port and. , (40tf
;XinxTstout;
: Attorney aiu Cotmselor at La-s,
Q PORTLAND, OREGON.
Office Under the .United States District
Court Room. Frout street. 40tf
.jM. McKEXNEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
OREGON CITY, OTtEGOX.'
OlIN II. SCIIRAM.
Manufacturer and Dealer in
SADDLES, HARNESS,
etc.. etc..
Main Street, Oregon (ity,
lWihes to renresent that he is now as
f.l prepared to furnish any article in his line
the largest establishment in the State. He
farticularly requests that an examination of
stock lie made before buying elsewhere.
! F. S. 0 S T H E I IfT .
4
J IMPOIlTEn AND DEALER IX
egars, Tobacco. Pipes, Stationery
I CUTLERY, YANKEE NOTIONS, ic.
1 o
I t3- Xo. S3, corner of Front and Washing
ton streets, fire proof brick store, called the
).d Corner, opposite American Exchange
Portlaud, Oregon
37.3m
E. A. r-AUKER.
i. II. BELL.
BELL &, PARKER.
DRUGGISTS,
Vhemicals, Patent Jfedicines, Paints,
I Perfumery, Oils, Varnishes,
Jnd erery article kept in a Drag Store. Main
f -reet, Oiegou City.
AXD DEALERS IX
THE SOJVU OF THE SHELL,
BY JULIA A. EAST il AX.
Is it lonely, 1 wonder, the beautiful shell.
That it murmurs forever the song of the sea?
With its musical moan is it trying to t,dl
Ths tale of the ocean to you and to me?
The care of pink ccral the grotto of pearl
The mermen and mermaids who spot t down
below
Sea weeds ard sea mosses that daintily
curl
Bright flowers that never inland gardens
grow!
Is it lonely, I wonder, that all the day long
Whenever I listen 'tis singing to me
The dim, and the distant, the sorrowful song
That it learned, long ago, of its mother the
sea?
That gray ocean mother who nrver is still,
But sings to her childien forever and aye
And always is rocking and rocking them
still,
By sunlght and starlight, by night and by
day.
So loud iu the tempest, so long in the calm
Do they listen far down in their cradles of
sand?
In the haunts of the iceberg, the wilds of the
palm,
In frozen Spitsbergen, or vine-covered land?
The sail in the offing the boat on the bay
The stars in the sky and the stars in the
wave
The dusky browed children with pebbles at
play
The salior's silent, and tnnoticed grave
The sYp that w. nt saibng, and sailing afar,
The eyes that were watching, and waiting
so long,
The wild waste of waters, the one floating
spar.
All these area part of the wonderful song.
Sweet shell of the ocean! Life's discord
and whirl
Can never destroy the sweet music of home !
Like thee, in thy pink, polished chamber of
pearl,
Let us sing the old melodies where'er we
roam !
Tlic Oregon tHllnl4 Farewell to liis
Indian untl tlicii-Annual " Green,
bai."
From the Orogonian Sept. 7th.
The following is n synopsis of
late Agent Barnlmrt's u Farewell
Address" to the Indians of Uma
tilla lieservation, with whom he
had lived as Agent for the ast
eight years. The scene is said ly
eye-witnesses to have been affect
ing beyond description, The
young, the old, the lame, the halt,
the blind, all, all came to perform
n painful duty to bid their old
Agent, friend and companion a sad
farewell :
My Dkaii Fkikxds : The time
has at List come when Ave must j
part. The dark hour is upon us. i
The calamity may be no longer
averted. Your grief and despair
are alike as unavailing as my own
anguish and regret.
" the Kubicon is passed !" " The
Oordion knot has been cut !" "The
Jhxnd has ceased plminff" In
short "My Goose is Boyled.'
For eight years we have lived
happily and peacefully together.
The flower of my manhood has
passed away in your service.
When I came among you first my
brow was unwrinkled and my hair
was as tlic raven's wing. Now I
am in the sere and yellow leaf
my step is infirm, and my head is
white yet I trust that my memo
ry will ever remain green with
pleasant recollections of my sojoufn
with you. When we review the
past, eight years seems a short
time ; yet in that period what
changes we have witnessed imme
diately around us ! Many, very
many of our dear old friends
wise counselors in your tribe
have passed away to a better
world. Another generation is
springing up about you to reap the
benefits of that new and higher
civilization which the Great Father
lias promised, and which has been
so assiduously planted and cultiva
ted by me.
As I said, Ave have lived happily
toether, and, doubtless, Avould
continue to so liA'e for many years
to come, Averc it not ordered other
wise by the Great Father at Wash
ingtoiu Figuratively speaking,
you arc his children ; and Avere I a
cousin, in a literal sense, or even
more remotely connected by the
ties of consanguinity, 1 would most
probably be permitted to remain
with you as you desire. Ihit un
fortunately 1 am not related to the
President, and that, of course, lets
me out.
One of the theories of our so'
ereign Pepublican form of Govern
ment is that when any of its citi
zens become competent, by zeal
and experience, to assist in its ad
ministration in a manner to reflect
credit on the nation, they should
tLieut. Boyle is Barnhart's successor as
agert on the reservation.
ITY9 OBEGOIV, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 189 ISOSi
at once be displaced, however ex
alted or subordinate the position
they ma)- have occupied; that oth
ers, totally unqualified for the re
quired duties, may have the op
portunity to acquire that knowl
edge of public affairs deemed so
essential and necessary for a self
governed people to possess. The
practical application of this theory
is one of the beauties of our sover
eignty, and is in perfect accord AA'ith
the genius of our free institutions.
Political economists and other
Utopians have sometimes objected
to this principle in our govcrniiient
as being fundamentally Avrong,
and invariably resulting in great
injury to the body politic. Jut
then those- A'isionary people are sel
dom or never candidates for Con
gress, but when by any chance
they are, defeat is always inevita
ble, and they arc offered up as a
sacrifice on the altar of their coun
try, a lasting, and a terrible exam
ple to others.
This is as it should be. It in a
great measure explains to foreign
nations and our numerous Indian
tribes, Avhy avc are such a great,
untaxed, prosperous, united, happy
people. My friends,
your status in the scale of civiliza
tion to-day Avill compare favorably
with the average Missourian, or the
native of the. mountainous region
of North Carolina. You -have
steadily progressed in the science
of agriculture Until now Ave see cul
tivated by you, Avith all the care
and skill of the thrifty husband
man, thousands of acres of land
which a few short years ago AVere
as Avild and untamed as your
fathers. Your herds of horses and
cattle ha-e multiplied until you
can count them on every hill by
thousands. Through my private
generosity you have become pos
sessed of all kinds of domestic an
imals including sheep, hogs,
ducks, geese, chickens, etc., etc.
To behold your vegetable gardens
causes one to feel justly jn-otul, and
overwhelmns your Avhite neighbors
Avitli jealousy and envy. Your
race-horses are tho-fleetest 'in this
region. Your men are the bravest,
your women the purest. Pefore I
came hcrc,an abortive attempt had
been made to build a saAV-mill and
a flouring mill on this reserve for
your benefit. When I inspected
this work Avhat did I behold ? 1
saAV a dam by the mill site, but, as
you are aware, I did not see any
mill by a damned styht ! Your
mills have been erected by me,
and they are as good as any in the
country. ion have ueen Kept
comparatively free from the con
taminating influences of Western
frontier civilization, and the IioavI
ing Avilderness of your youth has
been subdued, and made to bloom
and blossom as the sunflower, so
far as the alkaline nature of the
soil Avould permit. So far as the
application may be made to you
the solution of the problem of the
"Indian question' is settled".
You are
now fdted to become citizens of
this glorious Republic, and I trust
the day is not far distant Avhen
you Avill be entrusted Avith the
right of freemen. I allude to the
franchise !
" The ballot, which. Eke snow flakes falling
on the sod,
Executes the freeman's will, as lightning
d?cs the will .of God."
At Avhich lime if you will enter
tain your present sentiments of
gratitude toward your early bene
factor, he Avill perhaps return among
you- and Jhoi for
Conrress '
Thus in the future it may be in
your power to repay, in a slight
degree, one avIio has devoted the
best years of his life in earnest,
fruitful, endeavors to ameliorate
your early condition of barbarism.
Although my official relation
with you must now cease, perhaps
neA'er to be renewed, I am not go
ing far away. J am too poor, even
if I hrtd the inclination.
I shall be your neighbor, your
philosopher, your friend, ami my1
car shall ever be open to listen to
the recital of your complaints,
your troubles, and perhaps your
Avrongs. I may be Avithout the
power to do more for you than to
vouchsafe my advice, consolation
and sympathy, of Avhich I ever
hope to have sufficient for the de
mands of all.
After we haATe been for months
threatened with Spiritualists, and
Quakers, and small pox, a com
promise has evidently been effect
ed, and a soldier of the army is or
dered to be stationed here to per
form the functions of agent. That
he will be able to acquit himself
creditably of tho important trust
committed to his hands, much,
very much depends upon your
Aviiling co-operation and complete
acquiesence in the p.cav state of af
fairs to be inaugurated here.
With this military chieftain, who
will shortly assume the charge of
your temporal welfare, I have no
personal acquaintance. His fame
as a warrior is only knoAvn to me
in a general sort of a Avay, by the
success of our arms in the recent
struggle for the life of a nation.
I allude to the "late unpleasant
ness" among the Ahites on the
other side of the mountains, scenes
Avhich I used so often vividly to
describe to you, and Avhich- you
haA C c 'en depicted in lrcaifc Leslie's
JJictorial. You will have ample
time and opportunity to cultivate
his acquaintance, and as you lis
ten to the story of the dangers he
has passed, you Avill, doubtless, be
come greatly attached to him.
We all entertain unbounded ad
miration for human valor and mar
tial prowess, Avhen those qualities
are not directed against us person
ally, and the approach of the con
quering hero with the olive branch
instead, of the sword, should bring
the assurance that you will not be
harmed or imposed upon if you con
tinue to practice those virtues im
planted by my constant jreceit
and example for so rilanV years.
From
a civilian point of view, I am the
last of the Indian Afods a class
of " Good Samaritans" avIio have
been more maligned and traduced
by the common herd than any
other benefactors of t he human race
in any age of the Avorld. General
ly, I believe, Ave have maintained
a sublime imperturbility. Yvre
ha"e been inA'ulnerable to the false
accusations and maledictions of an
envious, ignorant rabble, and have
brought consolation to our Avound
ed feelings oyer in the serene con
sciousness that " Virtue is its own
reward."
My friends, our attachment and
affection is mutual and is not a
thing of yesterday. It has grown
Arith our years and been cemented
by our constant, peaceful associa
tion, and Ave have the sweet reflec
tion that tlic whole pOAver of the
government, although it may re
morselessly seA'er our official re
lations, cannot estrange our mutual
Ioa'c and esteem.
My friends, the time, perchance,
Avill come Avhen you may be hunted
like the cayotc and the grizzly
bear from your plea-sant fields and
fruitful gardens. I do not econo
mise the fact Avhen I tell you that
only perfect obedience and sal mis
sion to the laws made for your sup
posed benefit will avert that dread
ful catastrophy. The Government
will not, cannot be so cruel as to
drive you from your homes, and
the graves of your sires, if you
continue your peaceful avocations
and obey the authority of those
placed over you. Obey the com
mands of your new Agent in all
things, ami he Avill soon learn to
love and respect you, but if you
become troublesome and rebellious,
your sojourn upon this fair domain
will be brief, and, in short, yem
will go out like a candle!
And now mr friends, I must go,
avc must part. I cannot bring my
self to say that saddest of all sad
Avords my emotions choke my
utterance these children crying
your tearful eyes resting upon me
this poor old man " Camas
Billy" Weeping on my shoul
der unmans me I I cannot
can not say-y the word my
friends " Othellos occiqxdioi's
gone " Farewell !
IjUFFALOS OX A J ( At LAVAY' TfiACK.
A correspondent of the Chicago
Tribune writes from Sheridan :
Vast herds of buffalo graze along
the railroad, and are frequently
seen fijom the cars, and not mi fre
quently so near that many .are shot
Avith rifles in the passengers hands
while the cars are in motion, Yes
terday Ave saw upwards of thirty,
by actual count, but about half a
mile off. We saw several elk and
antelope, and one AVolf, and dined
on venison and buffalo steak.
Sometimes a large herd has been
surprised near the track by a train
of cars. The shrieking of the wins
tic and the rushing of the train has
produced such a panic of fear that
the herd has rushed pell-mell along
in the same direction Avith the train,
and at almost as great speed, thus
affording a splendid opportunity
for shooting from the carsv In one
case the engine killed several which
were on the track.- Numerous Car
casses are seen of the noble animals,
Avhich liaA C been slaughtered and
left to perish along the line of the
road, from Ellsworth to Sheridan.
Sheridan lias about one thousand
inhabitants, principally transient
tradesmen and hotel and boarding
house keepers.
FOILED BY A WOMAN.
A Leaf from tlic Diary of an. Old De.
From the New Orleans ricayune.
" Madame, it is my duty to ar
rest you !" "
" You dare not !"
The lips Avere white with passion
rather than fear, and the lady stood
before me like a lioness at bay.
Even then I could not help but
note the splendid beauty of this
grand lady. Tall and slender,
eyes black and flashing almost
lurid noAv, the spectacle she pre
sented, standing there in . the mid
dle of the apartment, was more the
appearance of a qtieen than a hunt
ed criminal.
" I must," I replied. " I do not
doubt your innocence; Looking
into your fncCj it is strange" that
any one could couple it wit li guilt ;
but I am constrained to do my
dutv, Madame, liowcver inimical it
niay be to my feelings."
" Will you allow me to change
my dress V" he said, in a tone al
most - pleasant. The hard lines
around the mouth had relaxed, and
the passionate glow on the face
gave Avay to a pleasant smile.
" Certainly, 1 will wait for you
here."
"I Avish also to send a messenger
for a friend ; Avill you permit him
to pass ?
" Certainly."
This Avas my first interview with
Euginia Cornille. I had seen her
for months, the leader of our gay
est and most fashionable society.
In her splendid mansion she dis
pensed the most profuse and ele
gant hospitality.
A Spanish lady a Avidow she
had represented herself and had
been a resident here almost a year.
No one ever suspected her of be
ing aught than Avhat she seemed,
until one day I Avas ordered to ar
rest her as a murderess.
It Was now alleged, said Mr. F.,
that this young beauty Avas no
other than the Avoinnn aviso had
poisoned her husband in Havana,
and fled with all his AveaUh, An
immense reward Avas offered for
her apprehension, and the circum
stances that had come to our
knoAvledge pointed her out beyond
all doubt as the person Ave avc re in
search of. Yet the person avIio
recognized her the CA ening before
at the theatre advised us to be
careful lest she should escape us.
I laughed at the idea. Mr. I. and
myself were surely sufficient to ar
rest a lady. e Avere old enough
in the Avays of cunning to defeat
any such attempt. When the lad y
left me I stepped to the Avindow,
and said to Mr. I., avIio Avas Avait
ing at the door:
"Tlic lady desires to send a mes
senger" for a friend ; suffer -him to
pass."
Almost at the same instant, the
door of the apartment the lady had
entered opened, and a youth ap
parently a mulatto boy came out
and passed hurriedly through the
room into the hall, and from thence
into the street. It Ava.?, no doubt,
the messenger, I thought, and I
picked up a book and commenced
reading. Nearly an hour passed,
and still the lady did not make her
appearance, nor did the boy return.
1 tie friend she had sent foT must
live at some distance, I thought,
or the lady is unusually careful
about her toilet.; and so another
hour Avent by. At last I grcAV im
patient, and knocked at the door.
" Madame, I can wait no lon
ger.
There was no reply. I knocked
repeatedly, and at last determined
to" force an entrance. Stra nge fears
barrassed me; I began to suspect,
I know not Avhat. It took but a
moment to drive in the door, and,
once in the apartment, the mystery
Av.ts revealed. The robes of the
lady lay upon the floor, scattered
over the room Avere puits of boys7
wearing apparel, similar to that
Avorn by the mulatto boy. On the
table Avas a cosmetic that Avould
stain the skin to a light, delicate'
brown.
I was foiled, for a surety ; the
lad a had escaped in the disguise
of a messenger. I should haA C de-
tected the ruse: I felt humiliated,
ana determined to redress my er
ror. I knew she would not remain
iu the city an instant longer than
she could get away. I hurried to
her bankers, but found that she
had drawn the amount due her an
hour before.
" Who presented the check ?
1 a"skcd of the clerk.-
"A mulatto boy. It was made
payable to bearer."
There was yet a chance. The
French steamer left Avithin an hour;
it was possible she would seek that
means of escape. I jumped in a
cab and arrived there ten minuter,
before she left the wharf just in
time to assist an aged, decrepit
gentleman into the cabin. There
Averefew passengers; none of them
answered the description of the
person I sought. I stood on the
wharf watching the receding ves
sel until it disappeared. I Avas in
the act of turning away, when a
hackman approached me with the
remark :
"Mr. F., did you see that old
man on board. He had a long
Avhite beard, and hair that fell on
his shoulders V"
"Yes." .
"Well, there's
ous about him."
something curb
a
Why ?"
W Iia", sir, when he got into
my carriage he Avas a mulatto boy,
and Avhen lie got out lie Avas an
old man !"
I Avill not repeat the expression
I used then it was neither refined
nor polite for I kneAV the vessel
would be far out to sea before she
could be overtaken; I Avas foiled
by a woman. Nor could I help
rejoicing, now that the chase Avas
over, that she had escaped.
Innocent or guilty, there Avas a
charm about her none could resist.
The spell of her Avondrous beauty
affected all avIio approached her.
It lingers in my memory yet ; and
I could not have the sin of her
Mood upon my conscience.
A Desperate Suitor. A Voting Latly
Shot by Sier LoVtr
From the St. Timl Fioneer, Aug. 7.
We learned yesterday partial
accounts of a serious affair which
took place at the Nicollet House,
Minneapolis on Thursday evening
last, about 8 o'clock. It seems
that a young lady of A ery prepos
sessing appearance, named Alice
Ferguson, Avho, until recently had
been living in the family of IJ. J.
Mendenhall, Esq., but who, for a
short time, had been engaged at
sewing at the Nicollet House, had
unconsciously Avon the affections of
a young man named Anthony
Cochrane, a bricklayer in Minneap
olis. The young man was a very
ardent lover, but unfortunately,
his love Avas not returned by the
object of his affection. He pro
posed and was rejected. The cold
ness and indifference of the young
lady droAe him almost frantic.
His attentions amounted to perse
cutions, and greatly annoyed the
young Jady, Avho is not only very
beaut ilul, but as good as she is
loA'ely. She had reasoncdagain
and again Avith her unreasonable
admirer, until her patience Avas
about exhausted. On Thursday
evening he again forced himself
into her room in the Nicollet house
Avhere she sat seAving, and again
urged his suit. Again he was re
fused, when finding persuasive
Avords of no effect he resorted to
threats, and -drawing a reA oU er,
he told her she could have her
choice, cither marry him or die.
Seriously alarmed, but not intimid
ated, she persisted in her refusal,
When he fired, the ball taking ef
fect in her hand and arm, Avhich
she had thrown up as a protection.
This probably saved her life, as he
had aimed at her head, and but
for the ball striking the bone of
her arm,- and being thus turned
aside, she would luwe beeit killed
instantH'. Immediately upon fir
ing the cowardly Avretch fled, and
up to our latest accounts had not
been arrested, although strong
hopes Avere entertained of his ar-
. a t - nil v
rest yesreraay. nc young lauy s
arm and hand is badly shattered,
and niay have to be amputated.
The feeling in Minneapolis was
A' cry bitter against the young man,
and had he been found w hen the
facts first became known, theA
would have lynched him.
- Mons. Lcgouve of the French
Institute relates that when he once
threatened a little damsel that " If
she didn't behave properly he Avould
tell everybody he knew' the child
responded: "Well, that docseivt
trouble me !" " And pray, why
not?" he asked. "Because," re
plied the precocious little philoso
pher, " There are a great many
people you don't know, and they
Avill never hear anything about it!"
--Ida Lewis has saved the lives
of eight men, but Anna Dickinson
is ft greater benefactress.- She has
saved the peace of mind of a hun
dred (her count) by not marrying
them I
A " strapping " fellow The
schoolmaster.
Hoav to prevent sea-sickness-stay
ashore.
Woman lost us one Paradise
but makes us another.
Tlic Pleasures of Marrictl Life.
Seems to nie things have all changed
somewhat, seems to me bust rae up if I
don't I've been married nearly six
months row, and the fact is, Susan show
a heap more temper than I thought
she had ; in fact, to speak the right down
truth, fhe's knocked things about general
ly for the last two months. She slung tho
cat through the window by the tail, and
would have thrown nie out by the by
the heels, if I hadn't walked out in a fast
rnn. She's got as cross a3 four sticks, and
says she'll use a stick on my back if I
don't quit smoking in tho bouse. And
she threatened to throw the boot jack
down my throat last night because I spit
in the if5. If she'd done that, 7 suppose
I'd have the colic or boot-jack cramp.
Timithy P. Xigglns." said I to myself;
says I, " you've gone and done it, and yoti
have got to put up with the consequences ;
you have come what will you can't get
out of it, you can't. A girl loses her
beauty mighty quick after she gets to bo
Mrs. Susan Sunflower was as pretty as
Venus, but just as soon as I married jer
her skin turned yellow, her eyes lost their '
beauty, and ber hair got thin ! And oh
what a temper she has got ! Never
knowed her mad before I married her ;
never knowed her to throw the stove or a
chair down anybody's throat ; no, never
until she was Jlrs. Niggins ! Aunt says
she'll come out all right afier a while ;
but I don't see why she can't be all rigbfc
now, I don't. If she don't improve, the
Lord help me ! " Ji.st you spit in that firo
again,'-' said she to me yesterday ; " jist do
it again, and I'll throw this stick of wood
down your throat ! What did I marry yoii
for ? To run around after you, and make)
up the fire after you spit it out? You
tormenting beast! Did I marry you to'
slave and work for you, while you spit
in the fire ? There's I henf chickens I had
to feed, too ; and Den Dyke's bog weut in
the garden and dug up my seed beets, and
you never saw it ; there's that blamed old
rooster scratched up my onion bed, and
you never saw it! And you see nothing?
you ought to see, and see everything you
oughtn't to see ! There's Ann Buster.
who was over here yesterday ; I saw you
wink at her! I saw you. Tim Nigglus !
Don't say you didn't! I saw you I sar
yon !" Jixchawje.
.
A BACHELOR'S DEFENSE.
Balchelors arc styled by married men
who have got their foot in it. as only half
pel fected beings, cheerless vagabonds, but
half a pair of scissors, and many other re
diculotis titles are given to them ; while on
the other hand they extoll their stale as one"
so perfect that a change from earth to
heaven would be of a doubtful good. If
they are so happy, why don't they enjoy
their happiness and hold their tongues
about it ? What do half tho men get mar
ried for? Simply that they may have some
body to dam their stockings, and sew but
tons on their shirts and trot babies ; that
they may have somebody, as a married
man said once, " to pull off their boots
when they are a little balmy."'
These fellows are always talking about
the loneliness of bachelors. Loneliness in
deed? "Who is petted to death by ladies .
with marriageable daughters invited to
tea and evening parties, and told to drop
in just when it was convenient ? Tho
bachelor !
Who lives in clover all his days, and
when he dies has flowers strewn over his
grave by the girls that Could not entrap
him ? The bachelor.
Who strews flowers over the married
man's grave the widow ? Not muchly
she pull;? down the tombstone that six
week's grief had set up in her heart ; sho
goes and gets married again, she does.
Who goes to bed early because time
hangs heavily on his shoulders ? The
married man. .
Who gets a scolding for picking out fa
softest part of the bed, and for waking tip
the baby in tho morning ? The married
man.
Who has wood to split, house hunting
and marketing to do. the young ones to
wash, and lazy serar.tsto look alter?
The married man.
Who is taken up for whipping his wife?
Who gets divorces ? The married man.
Finally, who has got the Scriptures on
his side ? batchelor. St.- Paul knew
what he was about when he said : '"lie
that marries does well, but he that marrie3
not does better."
A person of experience crystalizes the
wisdom he can acquire in that way in the
following sentence : "Courtship is bliss,
but matrimony is blister'
- i-
A physician, going down Broadway
with a friend of b'is, said to him, " Let 3
avoid that pretty little woman you seo
there on tbs left! She knows me, and
Casts on ne looks of indignation. I at
tended her husband." '-Ah! I under
stand you had the misfortune to dispatch
him." "On the contrary," replied the
doctor, li I saved him."
An Irish student was once asked what
was ment byposihumous works ? " They
are such works.'; said he, " as a man writes
alter he n dead.'
I