NOT A SICK DAY For Over Thirty Years! KESULT OF USING AYER'SPILLS "Ayer's Calliartii: Pills for over thirty years have kept me in j?ol health, never having hail a sick lay in all that time. Before I was twenty I suffered almost continually as a result of con stipation from lyiepsia, headaches, neuraljria, or boils ami other eruptive diseases. When I iieuame convinced that nine-tenths of my troubles were caused by constipation, I began the use of Ayer's Pills, with the most satisfac tory results, never having a single attack that did not readily yield to this remedy. My wife, who had been an invalid for years, also began to us Ayer's Pills, and her health was quickly restored. With my children I had no ticed that nearly all their ailments were preceded Ty constipation, and I soon had the pleasure of knowing that with children as with parents, Ayer's Pills, if taken in season, avert all danger of sickness." H. Wkttstein, Bvron, 111. AYER'S PILLS Highest Honors at World's Fair. Ayer's Sarsaparilla Strengthens the System. A HOUSEHOLD WORD. Ludicrous liltmiler Which Was Made by a Prosilin Officer. The Washington correspondent of the Chicago Timcs-IIcrahl relates a laugh able incident in the career of Mr. Tars ney, of .Missouri, who was until lately a iu-miiIkt o? congress from that state. lit was unseated by the housr. The oeeurronef, it should be explained, tool; place .some years ago, w hen Mr. Tarsney was not so well known he is at pres ent. It was in th? midst of a political cam paign, and Mr. Tnrsuey, who had gone . to Xew York state in the service of his party, was. announced to speak in a country town. The chairman of the meeting, a local '-clcbrity, was proierly minded to give the gentleman from Mis souri a handsome reception. "Ladies ami gentlemen." he said, "we have with us to-i: ight. one of the r-reat-tsl statesmen of tie great west, nil ora tor fiime.il throughout the Mississippi valley, n gentleman whose name is to you a household word. Permit me to introduce to you Mr. Jlr. " Here the flow of his eloquence was cheeked, and leaning towai-d the orator of the evenii'g. he whispered: 'What did you say your narue was?" "Tarsney, of Missouri," whispered the orator. "Fellow-citizens," resumed the chair man, "it is my proud pleasure to intro duce to you Mr. Larceny, of Missouri." DOG BURIES A CAT. A l.ittle l'sycholosrical Speculation Con cerning the Incident. A dog and a cat, belonging to the same master, were the best friends in the world, and spent their time in frolicking together. One day, while playing as usual, the cat died suddenly, falling .1 the dog's feet. The lattery at first, did not, realize what had happens, but continued his play, pullicg-. pushing and caressing his companion, but with evident astonishment at her inertness. After .some time he appeared to under stand the situation, and his grief found vent in prolonged howls. Presently he was seized with the idea of burying the cat. He pulled her into the garden, where he soon dug a hole with his paws, rand put in the l-orty of his former com panion. He then refilled the hole with dirt, and, stretching himself out on the grave, resumed his mournful howling. The idea of burying the cat was ex i raordinary. Whence eame the thought fulness? Could it. be imitation, or, which is a better explanation, did the dog have a vague idea of concealing the event which might be imputed to hiin? I5ut then it would seem unreasonable for him to call -attention to the fact by installing himself on the grave and howling. However, even human crim inals are, sometimes equally incon sistent. It is difficult to form an exact idea of what gave rise to the dog's con duct in this case. , ', When Baby was sick, we gave, her Castorla, When she was a Child, she cried for Castorla, When she became Miss, she clung to Castorla. When she had Children, she gave them Castorta, Subscribe for Thi Chbokici.e and get he news. The Song Tint Keitrhe Oar Hearts Is "My Old Kentucky Home." There is one -song in the Knglish lan guage that, perhaps, comes closier to the hearts of Americans, particularly if they are far from home and kmsmen. ! than any other. That sontr is "MV Old Kentucky Home." The simple, tender story it tells and its irresistible tnelody nre familiar to nearly every one. It has been sung by noted singers in every c ivilized country on the globe, and has been eulogized by authors and critic .f classical taste; yet its author, .Stephen Foster, died unhonored and unsung, and unconscious of the master ly work he had wrought. Like nearly all other great artists, however. Foster's leeompense eame after he was dead, and it is safe to say that "My Old Ken tucky Home" and its writer's name wi II live so long as human (sentiment and love of home endure. Those Americans who were present at a Palti concert, in the Grand onem house of Paris in the early seventies are, many of them, old men and women row, but they can still vividly recall the indescribable scene when the diva apienred in response to an encore and sang, as only Patti could sing, this sweet, simple ballad. It was entirely unexpected, and before they were aware strong men were weeping and women were hysterically giving vent to emotions they did not try to control. t its conclusion the great singer was literally showered with flowers ami erwtly gifts. One rich American threw a roll of bills over 1he footlights that " was said to contain a sum of money up in the thousands. The demonstration was jcrhaps the most magnificent ever accorded a suitor for pubiic favor. Apropos of all this, the following from the Philadelphia Call illustrates the wonderful charm the song still i ids: A street singer stopped to sing the other night in front of a well-known hotel. He was an old chap, blind of one eye. and infirm, but gifted with the remnant of what w as once a very sweet tenor voice. With him as attendant and guide was his daughter, a child of sunny Italy, sun-brow ucd. large-eyed and attractive in her picturesque gjrb. The old fellow sang first that dittv of the streets: "Just Tel Them That. You Saw Me." provoking little attention. Then he began to sing in his tremulous, quavering voice an old favorite. As he proceeded t he windows of the hotel were raised one by one and guests looked out with sympathetic eves. Coins showered down to the picturesque little maid, who circulated about with her tambourine, . collec ting. Men strolled out of the cafe and gathered on the stents, listening with interest. One old fellow, a tall, soldierly-looking man, with flashing dark eyes and an air that was unmistakably southern, gave the child a note with the remark: "It did my heart a dollar's worth of good." When the last strain of the touching old melody died away everybody pres ent wore that dreamy look "that tells of old memories stirred and refreshed. The song was "The Old Kentucky Home:" the southerner touch..! 1.1,1 rendition a former Kentuckian ruined by the nnages of the war. Cincinnati l'.nqmrer. The Discovery Saved Bis Life. Mr. G. Caillouttee, Drucsrist. Bearers- ville, III. says: "To, Dr. King's New Discovery I owe my life. Was taken with La Grippe and tried all the physi cians for miles about, but of no avail and was given op and told I could not live. Having Dr. King's Isew Discovery in my store I sent for a bottle and began its use and from the first dose began to jrei ueiter, ana alter using three bottles was np and about again. It is worth its weight in gold. We won't keep store or uuuoo wimoui H. uet a tree trial a Blakeley & Houghton's Drug Store. Otto Birgfeld is now ready to supply amities with the celebrated Gambrinus keg or bottle beer, delivered free of charge to any part of the citv. Tele phone 34. " Dalles-Moro Stage Leaves the Umatilla house 8 a. m, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Douglas Aixejt, Prop. Female Help Wanted. . Wanted Red-beaded girl and white horse to deliver premiums rn'iren with Hoe Cake Soap. Apply to any- wnere. Money! Monei! mmmi TO nSV WflSCn nnnnrtr . . UT tui , omo regis tered nrinr t-r .lnlw Q l qoo t . r v u, i li Lcrcyfc ceases after May 15, 1896. ' L. L. Phillips, mylS-tf County Treas. It May Do as Much for Von. ,Mr. Fred Miller, of Irvine. 111., writes that he had a severe kidney trouble for many yeart. with severe nuius in bin back and also that his bladder was af fected. He tried mrny so called Kidney cures but without an v eood result. Abont. a year ago he besan to nae Electric Bit ters ana found relief at once. Electric Bitters is esDeciallv adanted all Kidney and Liver troubles and often gives almost instant relief. One trial Will Ttrnvn nnr atatAmant f.;AA ra a $1.00. At Blakeley & Houghton's Drug You'll be surprised when vou trv TTn Cake soap, and wish we had told sooner. It is made by patented pro cess. - , ' jly24-ii Ko more BOILS, no more PIMPLES Use Kinersly's Iron Tonic. The Snipes-Kinerslj- Drug Co. '-' Telephone No. 3. , "Takes mi You may have "money to hum." but even so, you needn't throw it away. For JO cents you get almost twice as much "Battle Ax" as you do of other high grades i P m I for the same money The highest tobaccos good as Every knows there as afkw mm You will find rao oeucc Dag.ana two cou pons inside each four cuncs nagcl BJackwcil's Durham. Buy a bag of this cele brated tobacco and read the coennn urrtifli rou !.".. J of valuable presents and to eet tlieiii. i PKEPAftATlON'S FOB The Great OF NOVEMBER 3 ARK ALREADY CXDER WAY. a" NEW President of the United States .4. r ' - IS TO BE ELECTED, AND THE . " . . NEW YORK WEEKLY TRIBUNE K!lnM8a& the fight' "ng vigorously for sound uuBineas principles, which will bring prine prosperitv to the nation papeTrof t?rcountrv ZJ iot'only tVeTead 'ng Republican paper oi ine country, but is pre-eminently a national familv iiewsDanlr iuXPneSwano78thdHdiaCUri-n8 W'H iDterest ev"y Amedcan'clHzen. market record T short r'' iOTVgt n PPondence. agricultural department, Plated wheiabora nlnVi ?mplete,,n ea-cfa "onber, comic pictures, fashion Sake . fdeaT Lmifv rf,0n8Urand a Vety of itema of nhold interest, ONE YEAR FOR ONLY $15, CASH riKfSfc Aax.. jine reeuiar snhsnrlntlnn nri. .r t. the Cake.' claim for other is " Just as Durham." old smoker is none just good a ona cotipon insida Battle "o'.l'.mra'.S: "The Regulator Line Tie Dalles. Portland and Astoria Navigation Co. THROUGH Freignt ana Psssenosr Lins Throuch Daily Trips (Sundajs ex cepted) between The Dalles and Port land. Steamer Regulator leaves The Dalles at 8 a.m.. connecting at the Cas cade Locks with Steamer Dalles City Steamer Dalles Citv leaves Portland (Oak street dock) at 7 a. m., connect ing with Steamer Regulator for The Dalles. ' -iSSEMiEK HATES. One way Round trip. ..$2.UU .. 3.0Q Rates Greatly Reduced. All freight, except car lots unit oe brought through, vvtth out delay at Cascades. ShinmpntB far Psrtlrwl . j- - j - uoiuu iCWlfDU ill any time day or night. Shipments for " miiuiiign luusc oe ueuverea Detore K . . m T t , . 1 , .... " h. uivc omjck auipments soiicted vnii on or auureBB, W. CALLAWAY Oeneral A jceut- I ME. DALLES. - OREGON QIORTHERN y PACIFIC R. R n Pullman Elegent Torurist Sleeping Cars Dining Cars Sleeping Cars ST. I" A lit. MINNEAPOLIS DULUTU VAHGO TO GRAND FOURS ! CBOOKSION WINNIPEG HELENA and BUXXK Thtroagh Tickets I CHICAGO i WASHINGTON PHILADELPHIA NEW YORK BOSTON AND ALL POINTS EAST and SOUTH For Information, time cards, maps and tickets, cal on or write to ' W. C. ALLA WAY. Agent, The Dalles, Oregon OB A. D. CHARLTON. Asst. G. P. A.. 255. Morrison Cor. Third. Portland. Oregon J. 8. Schenk. President. J. M. Pattbeson. Cashier. First Rational Baok. THE DALLES, - , OREGON A General Banking Business transacted Deposits received, subject to Sight Draft or Check. Collections made and proceeds promptly . remitted on day of collection. Sight and Telegraphic Exchange sold on New York, San Francisco an ort . land. DIRECTORS. D. P. Thompson. Jko. S. Schbnck. Ed. M. Williams, Go. A. Likbx. H. M. Bkall. RI-PA-N-S The modern stand ard . Family Medi cine : Cures the common - every-day ills of humanity. Bill" rMiomj". . . oil t-Vi' -." EAST and SOUTH via The Shasta Route OF THE Southern Pacific Comp'y. Trains leave and are due to arrive at Portland. LEAVE. FROM JUNE 23, 1S95. AEKIVE. f nVFRT Avn -cv- I press, Salem, Rose- I I burg, Ashland, Sac- I 8:50 I. M. i rumen 10, ugaen.sau 1 Franclseo, Mojavc, ( 'S:10 A. M. New Orleans and I I F.asr i 8:30 A. M. lloseburg and wavVta- tions fVia Woodbnrn fori Mt.Ansel, Silverton. 1:1') P. M. Daily except Sunday 4 :00 P. M. 7:30 A. M. P. M. -put .;. i) i except Sundays. i iiie.opriiigneia ana I Salem and way stations!. no A m stations ( JMeMlnnTllIc and U S:I5P M (Way stations j Daily. tDaily, except Sunday. DINING CARS OX OGDEN ROUTE. PULlAlAN BDFFET SLEEPERS AND SECOND-CLASS SLEEPING CARS Attached to all Through Trains. Through Ticket Office, VM Third street, where through tickets to all points in the F.ostern Stites, Guimdaand Europe can be obtained at lowest rates, from B- KIRKLAND, Ticket Agent. All above trnins arrive at and depart Jroiu l.rand ;entral Station, Fifth and I streets. YAMHILL DIYISIOX. Patsenger Depot, foot of Jedersou street. Leave for OSWEGO, week days, at 6:00, 7:20. ,0:lu,f-i?-' 12:15 1:55' 5:15 6:30 V- m., s:00 p. m ' ano 11:30 p. in. on Saturday onlv. A-ri?vS.ai Portland, 7:10, 8:30,"ll;25 a. m., 1:30, l:lo, 6:20, 7:40, 9;05 p.m. !" Leave for Sheridan, week days, st 4:30 p.m. Arrive at Portland, 9:30 a. m. Leave for AIRLIE on Mondav, Wednesday and Fri iov at 9:40 a. m. Arrive at Portland, Tues day, Thursday and Saturday at 3:05 p. m Sunday trains for OSWEGO leave at 7:30, 9:00, 11:00 a. m., 12:40, 2:00, 3:30, 5:30, G:! p.m. A-'TL" P?rilHnl t 12:35,8:40, 10:30a. m 12:lo, 1:.t0, S:1o, 4: 15, 6:30, 7:55 p. m. Ji. KOEHLER, E. P. ROGERS, ilunasrer. Asst. G. F. & Pass. Agt. T11JJ ipes-''nersly Drug Co. Drugs, Paints, Wall Paper, Glass. Etc. 129 Second St., THE DALLES, - - OR. Harry Liebe, PRACTICAL Watchmaker! Jeweler All work promptly attended to, and warranted. FRENCH & CO., BANKERS. TRASSACTA GENERAL BANKING BUSINES Letters of Credit issued available iu the Eastern States.' Transfers sold on New York, Chicago, St. f Jll ! O Sail f?ranAiaA . I 1 s - , ..uuw.ovv, xuitmuu Ore gon, Seattle Waeh,, and various points orable terms. - AafflMB UIUMd Bmi. ENNYROYAL PILLS - - OrlHn.l , 1J rclisbla. uom ul Druggist for Chickeuer t Bnqli.1, Dia-i .motid Brmd in Red and GaU ne.llinC boxo. eall with bin ribbon. Tak "ReUeJ tor IjnHe," n laur, by nstarm aison A ePCIALTYf1S COTedtel5to33day. You can be treated J Inomeforaame price under sameEraarao 1 ty-I Jyon prefer to come here we will con- fBfr.loaiam pptaah, and still have aches and pains, SIiMjousl'atches in mouth. Sore Throat! Ilmplea Copper Colored Spots, Ulcerion or part of the body, Hair or Eyebrows falling out, it is this Secondary BtooTpmsol naie cases and 1 cnuUentro the world for a cane we cannot cure. Tills diseaaa hZ filled the .kill of the Z?SS" clans. WOO,000 capital behind our uSciudZ Uonal arantr. Absoiuteproofs sent e3edon ' soplicatioo. Address COOK K BMEnv ro Sd r; A 0 I L. ID F1L0DDP Su"bacribe for Thk CnKOJriCLK. I