D02PT LISTEN to the dealer who is bent on bigger profits. ' The thing tha he wants you to buy, when you ask for Doctor Pierce's Favorite ' Prescription, isn't " just as good." Proof of this is easy. The only guaranteed remedy for the ailments of wo manhood is the M Favorite Prescrip tion." If it ever fails to benefit or are, in making weak women strong r suffering women well, you have your money back. Anything "just as good," or as sure to bring help, could be, and would be, sold in just that way. This guaranteed medicine is an invigorating, restorative tonic, es pecially adapted to woman's needs and perfectly harmless in any con dition of her system. It builds up, strengthens, regu lates, and cures. For periodical pains, bearing-down sensations, ulceration, inflammation everything that's known as a "female complaint," it's a remedy that's safe, certain, and proved. Everything catarrhal in its nature, Catarrh" itself, and all the troubles that come from Catarrh, are per fectly and permanently cured by Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. No. matter how bad your case or of how long standing, you can be cured. Miggles What I are you actually in the agonies of love again this late in the season? Piggies Yes. "The last throes of Summer," as the poet says, dear boy. Town Topics. Daisy Doesn't Jack swear he will re form if you marry him? Delia Yes, that's just the trouble. I'm afraid he'll not be the least bit fascinating. Town Topics. Deafness Cannot be Cared By local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure Deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed con dition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets inflamed you have a rumbling sound or -imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely -closed Deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condi tion, hearing will be destroyed forever; 'nine cases out of " ten are caused by -catarrh, which is nothing but an in flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (.caused by catanh) that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. V. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, 75c. Artist 1 sold four pictures yes terday. Friend What are you going to do with the money? I think I'll buy a frame for another picture I'm working on." The Dauber. A Million Friends. A friend in need is a friend indeed and not less than one million people have found just such a friend in Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs, and Colds. If you have never used this Great Cough Medicine, one trial will convince you that it has wonderful curative powers in all diseases of Throat, Chest and Lungs. Each bottle is guaranteed to do all that is claimed or money will be refunded. Trial bottles free at Snipes & Kinersly's drug store. Large bottles 50c and $1. "Was his first novel a success?" "I imagine not. He has just written a second, entitled 'Hard Times.' " The Scribbler. While in Chicago, Mr. Charles L. Kahler, a prominent shoe merchant of Des Moines, Iowa, had quite a serious time of it. He took such a severe cold that he could hardly talk or navigate, but the prompt use of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy cured him so quickly that others at the hotel who had bad colds followed his example and half a dozen persons ordered it from the near est drug store. They were profuse in their thanks to Mr. Kahler for telling them how to cure a bad cold so quickly. For sale byBlakeley & Houghton Drug gists. Fanny I'm to marry the handsomest young man in town. Julia Oh, are you? So am I. The Impartial One. "Fred kissed my hand." "Wasn't your face clean?" The Snarler. Bnoklen'i Arlnca Balre. The best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fevei sores, 'tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi tively cures piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satis fac . tion. or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale Dy Snipes & Kin ersly. Another Call. All county warrants registered prior to January 1, 1891, will be paid on pre sentation at my office. Interest ceases after Sept. 10th. War. Michell, County Treasurer. The Chbonicle prints the news. SOME ODDITIES IN ETIQUETTE. What Is Considered Proper and Improper In Different Countries. In Holland a lady is expected to re tire precipitately if 6he should enter a store or restaurant where men are con gregated. She waits until they have transacted their business and departed. Ladies seldom rise in Spain to receive a male visitor, and they rarely accom pany him to the door. For a Spaniard to give a lady even his wife his arm while out walking is looked upon as a violation of propriety. No Turk will ever enter a sitting room with dirty shoes. The . upper classes wear tight-fitting shoes with goloshes over them. The latter, which receive all the dirt and dust, are left outside the door. The Turk never washes in dirty water. Water is poured over his hands, so that when polluted it runs away. In Syria the people never take off their hats or turbans when entering the house or visiting a friend, but they always leave their shoes at the door. There are no mats or scrapers outside, and the floors inside are covered with expensive rugs, kept very clean in Moslem houses and used to kneel upon while praying. In Persia among the aristocracy a visitor sends notice an hour or two be fore calling, and gives a day's notice if the visit is one of great importance. He is met by servants before he reaches the house, and other considerations are shown him, according to relative rank. The left and not the right is consid ered the position of honor. In Sweden, if you address the poor est person on the street, you must lift your hat. The same courtesy is insist ed upon if you pass a lady on the stair way. To enter a reading room or a bank with one's hat on is regarded as impolite. JOINTS AND CARTILAGE. One of the Wonders of Xatnre in the Hainan Hody. Why do joints work so easily and never give us any pain? In a fresh joint its appearance in life can be readily studied. In the ball and socket joint, says the London Hospital, the round end of the bone, as well as the cup, are covered or lined with a smooth substance called "cartilage," or "gris tle" kept moist and smooth with synovia. Cartilage contains no nerves, and has no feeling; if it had, we should have pain when we moved. The bones are kept in place at the joints by very strong bands or ligaments, in hinge joints a number of these bands are fastened above and below, but in ball and socket joints they also surround the joint, forming-, a cap, in which the joint moves freely. In disease this smooth cartilage gets worn away, and the ends of bone rub together like those of a skeleton; the pain is great, because the bones have nerves, though the car tilage has none. A bone without car tilage is like a decayed tooth with an exposed nerve. In a healthy tooth the nerve is well covered, and gives no pain, and in a healthy bone the nerves are there, but tney are only felt when the cartilage is worn away. The Good That Remains. How many are there who are valu ing themselves by what they have, and not by what they are! What they may have be talent, or money, or position; it matters not what, but it is not their very selves. True worth cannot be separated from a man's real self. Money, position, even intellect, may go; but the sterling, i: e., the moral, worth will remain. A sultan of Mo rocco is said to have discovered that one of his viziers was becoming too powerful. He therefore summoned him to tea, and complimented him on his great wealth. The vizier becoming vain, boasted of the number of his houses, wives and slaves, and the sultan rebuked him saying that he was too rich. To show the man exact ly what he was worth, his majesty had him taken by the soldiers to the slave market, where he was put up for sale and received only one bid of eight- pence. All his property was also taken from him.. The price which we put upon ourselves and our fellow men put upon us are two very different things. Death by Electricity. The Digest gives an account of some experiments on the effect of alternat ing electric currents on animal organ isms, described in a paper read before a recent medical congress at Rome, It aly, and which corroborate the views of D' Asonval, referred to recently. The current used was an alternating one, and it was found that animals sub jected to from fifteen hundred to two thousand volts were not easily killed, and that death resulted mostly from asphyxia caused by the sudden stop page of respiration. Frequently breath ing started again spontaneously, and the animal recovered completely. In no case was there any physiological change noted, though in a few there were mechanical lesions, in themselves cause for death. This further confirm ation of D'Arsonval's formula, "A man shocked by electricity should be treat ed as if drowned," renders it still more important that the electrician should make himself acquainted with the prop er means of resuscitation from the ef fects of electric shock. A Momentous Proceeding. in Mr. Montague s "Tales of a Nomad" he says that in . the old days the Boer seldom used his pen, but when he did there was a regular com motion in the house. "Hush. Be quiet all of you. Drive out the ducks and the geese, and the pigs and the fowls. Father is going to write his name." 'And then the old gentleman, with el bows squared on the table, would seize the pen with a flourish,' and put ting on a determined look, as if he were going to tackle an adversary, would bend down his head until it nearly touched his left arm, write his name with many a splutter, and then, throwing down the pen and pushing the chair, would look round with an air of mingled pride .and resignation and say: . ."I have done it." HAD ENOUGH OF SUBSTITUTES. Homemade Bootblacklnar and the Embar rassment It Caused a Texas Wooer. Some gentlemen were discussing cur rent topics in the lobby of the St. George the other evening, when hopfen weiss, the new prohibition substitute for beer, was drawn into the discussion, says the Baltimore News. - Some had tried the new drink and pronounced, it equal in point of flavor to the genuine article, and various opinions were ex changed relative to the right of persons to sell it in local option communities. "I am not competent to venture an opinion upon that phase of the ques tion," said one of' the party, "but as a rule the man who monkeys with sub stitutes usually comes to grief in one way or another. At any rate, that is my experience, and I will give you a case in point. In the early days of Texas, when few of the modern con veniences that we now enjoy were ob tainable, I was living in the country, working on a farm. A man named Brown lived near my father's. Well, one day I learned that a couple of young ladies were visiting Mr. Urown and family. Of course, now. I would have to go over and see the young, ladies! I had a tolerable good suit of clothes, but my shoes were consider ably worn, and never .having come in contact with blacking, very naturally were tough and unpleasant to the sight. So I set about trying to hit up on schemes whereby I could improve the complexion of my shoes. Finally an idea struck me and I smiled tri umphantly as I congratulated myself on my shrewdness. I would take some soot from the chimney, use molasses as a vehicle, as the druggists say, and polish, up my shoes with the compound. The soot would certainly make the shoes black enough and the molasses would hold it on. Capital idea. There fore I got to work and soon had my substitute . ready and applied to the shoes. "The effect was not to say artistic, but it made the shoes black, and that was the end. I sought to achieve. A short walk soon brought me to our neighbor's, where the girls were visit ing, and on my arrival I was invited into the room which did service as a parlor. The young ladies and I had exchanged a few compliments relative to the weather when I unconsciously shifted my foot on the floor. Then my heart sank within me and I cursed the day that my inventive talent got the upper hand of me and I monkeyed with substitutes, for when I moved my foot a swarm of flies filled the room and roared like bees. They had been after the molasses on my shoes, and the shifting of my foot had put them to flight. I felt that my face was get ting unbecomingly red and my nerve began to fail me, but I made a heroic effort to renew the conversation and stand my ground. But it was useless. I could see that the girls were all but dying to laugh, and reenforcements of flies were constantly appearing upon the scene. They roared and buzzed and fought each other for first place on my shoes. Directly I heard Mrs, Brown from the other room say: 'John nie, I think I hear the bees swarming-. Go out and see about them.' That was too much, and, gathering-nip my hat, I bade the young- ladies a hurried good day and departed, enveloped in a halo of flies as big as a balloon. As I closed the gate behind me I heard Johnnie shout: 'Maw, the bees ain't a swarm in'; they're after that young feller what just left here. He's been stealin' honey and theyre after him about it. Wush they'd sting the triflin' rascal to death, I do.' Xo, gentlemen, no sub stitutes for me, please. The bare men tion of them makes my hair pull." FIRST STRIKE ON RECORD. Roman Flute Players, B. C. 300, Successful ly Resented Exclusion from a Banquet. Livy, in his famous book, "The An nals," ix., 30, relates in the following suggestive words the story of a singular strike which occurred at Rome in the year 300 B. C, and was probably the first strike ever known: "That year occurred an event lit tle worthy of being related and which I would pass in silence had it not ap peared as involving religion. The flute players, dissatisfied because the latest censors had forbidden them to take part in the banquet in Jupiter's tem ple, according to the ancient custom, withdrew, every one of them, to Tibur, so that nobody was left at Rome to play during the sacrifices. This inci dent shocked the religious sentiment of the senate, and the senators sent messengers to invite the inhabitants of Tibur to make every effort in order that the players should be restored to the Romans. The Tiburtines, having promised not to neglect anything necessary ior tnat purpose, caused the flute players to come to the place where the senate met and exhorted them to go back to Rome. Seeing that they could not prevail upon them to do so they employed a stratagem in keep ing with their character. On a day of lestivai, under the pretext that music would increase the joy of the feast. every citizen invited the flute plavers individually to his house, and wine, of wUich people of that profession are usually fond, was given to them in such quantities that they fell into a deep sleep. They were thrown- into wagons and transported to Rome, They only became aware of what had happened on the day after, when dawn surprised them lying on the carts. which had been left in the forum. A large crowd had assembled and they were induced to promise that they would remain at Rome. The right of attending the banquets was restored to these flute players." Royalty and Home Industry. The ladies of the British royal family show a commendable feeling in their patronage of home industries. Sev eral of them wore British silks at the court this summer, and now the queen has ordered some Irish poplins for the trousseau of Princess Alix of Hesse, the bride-to-be of the czarowitz of Russia. They are supplied by a Dublin firm, and the designs contain small gold shamrocks in profusion. Mexican - Mustang Liniment for Burns, Caked & Inflamed Udders. Piles, Rheumatic Pains, Bruises and Strains. Running Sores, Inflammations, Stiff joints, Harness & Saddle Sores. Sciatica, Lumbago, Scalds, Blisters, Insect Bites, All Cattle Ailments, All Horse Ailments, All Sheep Ailments, Penetrates Muscle, Membrane and Tissue Quickly to the Very Seat of Pain and Ousts it in a Jiffy. Rub in Vigorously. Mustang Liniment conquers Pain, Makes flan or Beast well again. "The Regulator Line" Tie Dalles, Portland ani Astoria Navigation Co. THROUGH Freigfii ana Passenger Line Through Daily Trips (Sundays ex cepted) between The Dalles and Port land. Steamer Regulator leaves The Dalies at 7 a.m., connectingat the Jas cade Locks with Steamer Dalles City, Steamer Dalles City leaves Portland (Yamhill st. dock) at 6 a. m., connect ing with Steamer Regulator for The Dalles. PA8SKNC1KK RATES. One way Round trip. .$3 XX) . 3.00 Freight Rates Greatly Reduced. All freight, except car lots, will be brought through,, with out delay at Cascades. Shipments for Portland received at any time day or night. Shipments for way landings must be delivered before o p. m. lave stocfe snipments souctea. Call on or address, W. C. ALLAWAY, Qenerml Agent. B. F. LAUGH LIN, General Manager. THE-DALLES. OREGON J F. FORD, Evanplist, Of Des Moines, Iowa, writes under date ol March 23, 1893: S. B. Med. Mfg. Co., Dufur, Oregon. Qentlemen : On arriving home' last week, I found all well and anxiously awaiting. Our little girl, eight and one-half years old, who had wasted away to 38 pounds, is now well, strong and vigorous, and well fleshed up. S. B. Cough Cure has done its work well. Both of the children like it. Your S. B. Cough Cure has cured and kept away all hoarseness from me. So give it to every one, with greetings for all. Wishing you prosperity, we are Yours, Me. & Mas. J. F. Fobs. If yon wish to feel fresh and cheerful, and ready for the Spring's work, cleanse your system with the Headache and liver Cure, by taking two or three doses each week. Bold under a positive guarantee. 50 cents per bottle by all druggists. NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION. TJ. S. Land Office, The Dalles, Or., ( August 11, 1894. i Notice ps hereby given that the following named settler has filed notice of his intention to make final proof in support of his claim, and that said proof will be made before the register and receiver of the TJi S. Land office at The Dalles, Or., on Sept. 28, 1894, viz: Alvln K. Lake, H. E. No. 4512, for the NW NEJi, Sec. 35, SW, SEJ and E4, BWJ Sec. 26, T4S.EUE. He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon and cultivation of said land, viz. : J. R. Woodcock, I. D. Driver, S. G. Ledford, of Wamic; T. J. Driver, of The Dalles. , JAS. F. MOORE, , , . Register. for York Weekly Tril Danes WeBKin oniomeie 41QNLY The iaBles laity and Weekly ihronicie. THE CHRONICLE was established for the ex press purpose of faithfully representing The Dalles and the surrounding country, and the satisfying effect of its mission is everywhere apparent. It rtnxxr laarlci oil vfVuvi TMiWinoiAna in Wo o -v QVtA-v. man, Gilliam, a large part of Crook, Morrow and Grant counties, as well as Klickitat and other re gions north of The Dalles, hence it is the best medium for advertisers in the Inland Empire. The Daily Chronicle is published every eve ning in the week Sundays excepted at $6.00 per annum. The Weekly Chronicle on Fridays of each week at $1.50 per annum. ' For advertising rates, subscriptions, etc., address . THE CHRONICLE PUBLISHING CO., Tlie Dalles, Orogon. There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at its flfHMX leads on to fortune." The poet unquestionably had reference to the Clnsii-fliit liii fc- at CRANDALL Who are selling tbe&e sroods M1CHKLUACH I5KICK. D. BUNNELL, Work. Tin nenasrs ann Roofing Pipe MAINS TAPPED on Third Street, next door west of Young & Kust1 Blacksmith Shop. THE CELEBRATED COLUMBIA BREWERY, AUGUST BUCHLER, Prop'r. This well-known Brewery ia now turning oat the beet Beer and Porter east of the Cascades. The latest appliances for the manufacture of good health ful Beer have been introduced, and ony the first-class article will be placed oa he market. lane - $1.75. Firiitire V Cargets & BURGET'S, out at greatly-reduced rates. - I'NION ST." UNDER PRESSURE.