CM) IN GJDASS. That's the way Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets come. And it's a more important point than yon think. It keeps them al ways fresh and re liable, unlike the ordinary pills in cheap wooden ot pasteboard boxes. They're put up in a better way, and they act in a better way, than the huge, old fashioned pills. No griping, no violence, no reac tion afterward that sometimes leaves you worse if off than before, cure permanently. In that way, they oick xieaaacne, Bilious Headache, Constipation, In digestion, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the liver, stomach, and bowels are prevented, relieved, and cured. They're tiny, sugar-coated gran ules, a compound of refined and concentrated vegetable extracts the smallest in size, the easiest to take, and cheapest pill you can buy, for they're guaranteed to give satis faction, or your money is returned. You pay only for the good you get. There's nothing likely to be "Just as good." Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy cures Catarrh m the Head. Husband (meekly) This is the fourth time this week we have bad tinned beef and cabbage, Maria, and I'm just a lit tle tired of it. His wife I'm sure, - Thomas, you're very unreasonable. ' Tou know I've had to correct the proof sheets of my new book "One Hundred Daily Dinners." Tib-Bits. Deaftaess Cannot be Cured By local applications, as they cannot . reach the diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure Deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed con dition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tube restored to its normal condi tion, hearing will be destroyed forever; -nine cases out of ten are caused by -catarrh, which is nothing but an in flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (.caused by catanb) that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, 75c. Everett Rest This here paper says whisky kin be made of sawdust. Lay mand Sowre I wonder ef it would be any disgrace for a gent to saw wood ef he knowed whisky would be made from the dust. Cincinnati Tribune. Strength and Health. If you are not feeling strong and healthy, try Electric Bitters. It "la grippe" has left you weak and wear", use Electric Bitters. This remedy acta directly on liver, stomach and kidneys, gently aiding those organs to perform their functions. If you are afflicted with sick headache, yon will find speedy and permanent relief by taking Electric Bitters. One trial will convince you that this is the remedy you need. Large bottles only 50c. at Snipes & Kanersly's drug store. Mistress Did you tell the lady I was out? ! Ward Yes, ma'am. Mistress Did she seem to have any doubts about it? Ward No, ma'am. She said she knew you wasn't. Harlem Life. While in Chicago, Mr. Charles L. Kahler, a prominent shoe merchant of Des Moines, Iowa, had quite a serious time of it. He took such a severe cold that he could hardly talk or navigate, but the prompt use of Chamberlain's Cough Eemedy cured him so quickly that others at the hotel who had bad colds followed his example and half a dozen persons ordered it from the near . est drug store. They were profuse in their thanks to Mr. Kahler for telling them how to cure a bad cold so quickly. For sale byBlakeley & Houghton Drug gists. . Bolker (meditatively) My experience has taught me one very curious thing. Blobbs Has, eh? What is it? Bolker That the closer a man is the harder it is to touch him. Buffalo Courier. . Bncklen'a Arlnca Salve. . The best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fevei sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi tively cures piles, or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac tion . or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. For sale 0y Snipes & Kin only. ' : "I always knew he was too timid to propose. 'But he was married a short time ago." "Yes but he married a wid ow." Life's Calendar. Tor Collo and Grnba In my mules and horses, I give Simmons T.iver Regulator. I have not lost ne -ve it to. " Taylor, Agt. for Grangers of Ga. A BAROITS BAG OF BIRDS. The Sprier of Royalty the Victim of a Clever Ruse. . , j Gamekeepers and Poachers Conspire to fleece the Vaunting Nobleman .Expensive Sporting Ex perience "Be not righteous overmuch," says King Solomon if, indeed, that mon arch was the author of Ecclesiastes. "Be not amiable overmuch" is a maxim that might be dednced from it, and that is now somewhat tardily taken to heart by the Austrian nobleman whose name is known in England and who is a million or so out of pocket for not having acted upon it earlier. This , nobleman, says the Chicago Times, j married a lady who was understood to ; be the heiress apparent to property . worth over one million florins, or, say, I one hundred thousand pounds. Not that she had any inalienable rights to it, but simply that her relative, a wid-1 ower without children or kindred was. known to have made a will in her favor. He died a few months ago, and a re cently drawn-up will found in his room not only makes over the entire prop erty to two strangers and one benevo lent institution, but explains this leg- j acy as the result of an adventure with grouse. The story is amusing in itself, to say nothing of its interest as throw ing light upon an impending lawsuit, ' which will probably take high rank among Austrian causes celebres. For the will is about to be contested by the lady, who ne ver did anything to incur the anger of her wealthy rela tive, and who maintains that he was of unsound mind when he drew up his last testament. Her husband, Baron X., unwittingly- but mortally of fended the touchy old gentleman, 1 and one million florins is the price of his excessive amiability. j The wealthy Count Y., paid a visit to ' Baron X. last autumn, and immediately after his arrival explained that he had come to do what he had never done in his life before to shoot grouse. He held the opinion that, being an excel lent shot with a rcolver,he must like wise be a good marksman with a gun; and he had, in fact, laid a wager that he would not return empty handed from his first day's shooting. Count Y. was quite serious in a!2 this, and hon estly believed he could accomplish his desire with the greatest ease. Baron X., however, knew better, and con sidering that the count was not only somewhat deaf, but likewise very near sighted, kindly resolved within him self to facilliate matters as much as possible. With this object in view he called up the head gamekeeper. "Ferdinand," he said, "Count Y. is going out for a day's shooting Thursday. I'm afraid he's a very bad shot, and yet he insists on showing us that he can work won ders. 'Now, I want you to arrange matters so that, whatever he hits or misses, he may feel convinced that he has shortened the lives of a few birds. You understand? The details you may ' work out at your leisure. Make no blunder." Ferdinand said only "H'm!" in his master's presence, but he used very wild words later on,and not hitting . upon any likely idea himself, he called on his assistant, Franz, and instructed him to mature a plan. , Now, Franz is a man of many re sources, and his name has become, proverbial in sporting circles in Aus tria as a wily Ulysses. A few hours ' later he unfolded a project to his senior which caused the latter to split his sides with laughter. 'Franz was to hunt up a daring poacher, who had been twice wounded while trespassing i on these very estates, and to ask him to appear at a certain place Thursday with some recently shot birds and to , drop one or two after each of the j count's shots. The plan was-agreed to, ' the poacher promised to be invisibly on the spot, and the various stations at which he should succe ssively drop the ! grouse were determined upon. At length the morning dawned and count and baron were early on the field, arcnm rtan i (fl hv tlio fait.Tifnl f.1 m .il n -It i- 1 xfl r -id a . . J I and sad as undertakers. , "I don't see anything about here," murmured the count after a time. ''It's true I am somewhat nearsighted, but " "Look there, your excellency! Look there! You are in luck!" shouted the head gamekeeper at the top of his voice, en deavoring to look the while as if he were only whispering the information into the sensitive ear of his master's guest. His excellency became flurried, took out his monocle, fixed the spot pointed out to him, and said: "Well, I don't see Oh, that black mass, do you mean?" "Yes, your excellency. There are half a dozen there if there is one. Now is the time, your excellency, to fire." The count shouldered his gun, to the mortal terror of the baron, who feared he should be called to his last account before that day's shooting would be done; then he shut one eye and pulled the trigger. Something was seen to falL "Splendid shot, that, your excellency. I saw the bird fall. He's, done for." In stead of hurrying to the place where the feathered victim was supposed to lie the gamekeepers allowed the count to go before them, so that he might see the handiwork with his own eyes. Arriving at the spot he stooped, picked up something dark, fumbled at it a few seconds, drew out a brace of grouse, looked in stupefaction at the two gamekeepers, who were desper ately waging war with their facial muscles, and then flung down his gun in disgust, rushed from the field, and left by the following train. What he had picked up was a bag with recently killed grouse. The poacher, it seems, was late on the field, and reached the spot just as the count had fired, so that be had no time to open the bag, and he lacked the needful presence of mind to keep it and himself out ' of sight. He flung it down and rushed off to the next place. But that was the last shot fired there that day, and it cost the baron over one million florins. TOOK HALF IN RATS. Bow China's Dowager Empress Mltlgateo. . the Force of the Pestilence. A recent number of the North China Herald, just received in this city,' tells this story of the Empress Dowager of China: "A rather good story is told among the Chinese about the empress dowa ger and the plague. The empress keeps constantly burning, day and night, in her palace', eighteen lamps, which represent the eighteen prov inces of China. Not long ago one of the lamps, although d it -received precisely the same attention as all the others, was burning very badly, and the em press sent for the chief imperial as tronomer to learn the reason. The chief astronomer having carefully con sidered the matter and consulted the archives, told the empress that the lamp which was burning so badly rep resented the province of Canton, which was about to be afflicted with a serious epidemic, in which the god 'of pesti lence had determined to take off eight tenths of the people. "The empress was very much con cerned at being told this, and asked the chief astronomer how such a dreadful doom might be averted from eight tenths of her people in the province. The chief astronomer said that the god might perhaps be moved by prayer and oE erings, and everything was done to placate him by the empress dowager's orders After this the chief astrono mer was asked what success had been achieved, and, after much, considera tion and consultation, he replied that the god of pestilence had consented to compromise but this was absolutely the best he could do for four-tenths human beings and four-tenths rats. Thus the frightful mortality of rats and human beings at Canton this spring is explained." HAVE THEIR OWN METHODS. The Cassowaries Pursue a Plan of Their Own for Catching Pish. The methods employed by the casso wary in catching fish' differ materially from those of the common fish-hawk. The fish-hawk employs very much the same methods as the birds of prey, while the cassowary fishes according to a method of its own and uses a good deal of strategy. A number of years ago I was standing near the bank of a river when I saw a cassowary come down to the water's edge and stand for some minutes, apparently watching the water carefully. ' It then stepped into the river where it was about two feet deep, and, squatting down, spread its wings out, submerged them, the feath ers being spread and ruffled. The bird remained perfectly . motionless and kept its eye closed, as if in sleep. It remained in this position at least half an hour, when it suddenly closed its wings, and, straightening its feathers, stepped out on the bank. Here it shook itself several times, whereupon a num ber of small fishes fell out of its wings from amid its feathers, which the bird immediately picked up and swallcnved. The fishes had evidently mistaken the feathers for a kind of weed that grows along the river bank and which resem bles the feathers of the cassowary. The smaller fishes often seek a hiding place in these weeds to avoid the larger ones that prey upon them. TIME AT THE NORTH POLE. The Slan Who -First Reaches That Point Will Meet with Surprises. If ever the north pole is reached the adventurous spirits who get there will find that they have . actually out stripped Father Time altogether; in fact, he will have given up the rate en tirely, for at the northern and south ern extremities of the earth's axis there is no fixed time at all, says the London Globe. At any moment it can be noon or midnight, breakfast time or supper time, work time or play time, wnicnever one uses, uioctcs will be a fraud and delusion, for at the pole all degrees of longitude converge into one, and therefore all times. The pos sibilities of such a position are endless. Not only, too, will the clocks be out, but the calendar as well. It can be, at will, either yesterday or to-day, or to morrow.. We have heard a lot of fool ish people ask what the use and pleas ure can be of getting to the north pole, but a little reflection will show us ad vantages can be gained there which cannot be found in any other part of the globe. There, at any rate, instead of being like the poor inhabitants of lower latitudes, the slaves of time, we can turn the tables and be its masters. THE GERMAN'S JOKE. The Cute Smoker Plays Bim Game and Has It Returned. ' The . following "Fraud Upon an In surance Company," in the Deutsche Ta- bak-Zeitung, is certainly just a little too good to be true: A cunning fellow, who wanted to smoke the best cigars at the cheapest possible cost, bought one thousand cigars of the highest quality and corresponding price, and immediately insured the whole stock. When he had smoked the last of them he demanded seven hundred and fifty marks from the insurance company on the ground that the whole of his in sured stock, ten boxes of cigars, had been consumed by fire! The Solomonic court decided in favor of the plaintiff. The company then brought an action of conspiracy against the smoker, ac cusing him of having intentionally pnt fire to his own cigars and deliberately destroyed his property. Hereupon the same wise court condemned the in sured smoker to three month's impris onment. ' Origin of the Walking Stick. Probably the patriarch's staff was the first adaptation of the walking stick and from its first inception to the present day it has undergone almost endless changes. In 1701 footmen at tending gentlemen were forbidden to carry swords, these being replaced by a porter's staff. Thirty years later gentlemen were forbidden to carry swords, but allowed to carry large oak sticks. Before many years varnished and polished woods with ornamental heads came into use and in one form or another have held their own in public popularity. A ROOMY HOTEL. Cheap Pare and Always Open to Guests of Every Inscription. . The impecunious bohemians of Lon- don,when too poor to pay for a night's lodging, sleep in what they poetically name the Hotel of the Beautiful Star, or the Hotel do la Belle Etovle. as it is called by those. who speak French. It is a large hotel, and the lodgers can choose from among several cham bers, such as the park and the Thames embankment, and always find elbow room and plenty of water. Eight or ten years ago Mr. Christie Murray he tells the story in "The Making of a Novelist" was sitting in the Savage club in company with four distinguished men of letters. One of them was the editor of a Lon don daily, who said: "I do not sup pose that any man. in my present po sition has experienced in London the privations I knew when I .first came here. 'I went hungry f or tUree days, twenty years back, and for three nights I slept in the park." - "You cap that, Christie," said one of the party. "Four nights on the embankment. Four days hungry," he answered. His neighbor, a poet, chimed in, laconical ly: "Five." All of -the party had slept in that hotel which is always open for every body. - Por Trout Lake. The great fishing resort of the North west. Parties can procure teams or con veyance the round trip by writing and stating time they wish to start, number of the party, amount of baggage, etc Address A. H. Jewett, lm White Salmon, Wash. Por Rent. The Union street lodging houee. For terms apply to Geo. Williams, admin istrator of the estate of John Michel- bach, lm. "The Regulator Line" The Dales, Maul and Astoria Navigation Co. THROUGH Freigfii and Passenger Line Throuarh Dailv Trios (Sundavs ex cepted) between The Dalles and Port land. Steamer Regulator leaves The Dalles at 7 a. m., connecting at the Cas cade Locks with Steamer Dalles City. Steamer Dalles City leaves rortiand (Yamhill st. dock) at 6 a. m., connect ing with Steamer Regulator for The uaiies. FA8BENOER KATKH. Oneway . ..,$2.00 Bound trip 3.00 Freight Rates Greatly Reduced. All freight, except car lots, will be brought through, with out delay at' Cascades. Shipments for Portland received at any time day or night. Shipments for way landings must be delivered before b p. m. Live stock shipments soiictea, Call on or address, W. C. ALLAWAY, General Agent. B. F. LAUGHLIN, - - General SCanaffer THE-DALLES. OREGON J F. FORD, Evaielist, Of Des Moines, Iowa, writes under date ol March 23, 1893: S. B. Med. Mfo. Co., Dufur, Oregon. Gentlemen : On arriving home last week, I found all well and anxiously awaiting. Our little srirl. eisrht and one-half years old. who had wasted away to 38 pounds, is now well, strong and vigorous, and well fleshed up. S. B. Cough Cure has done its work well. Both of the children like it. Your S. B. Cough Cure has cured and kept away all hoarseness from me. So give it to every one, with greetings for all. Wishing you prosperity, we are Yours, MB. ftMBH. J.r.fOED If you wish to feel fresh and cheerful, and read; for the Spring's work, cleanse your system with the Headache and Liver Cure, by talcing two or three doses each week. Sold under a positive guarantee. 50 cents per bottle by all druggists. NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION. TJ. 8. Land Office, The Dalles, Or., AotruBt 11. 1894. Notice Us herebv srtven that the following- named settler has filed notice of his intention to make final Tiroof in 8UDTort of his claim, and that said. proof will be made before the register ana receiver oi ine v. a. uma omce at ine Dalles, Or., on Bspt. 28, 1894, viz: Alvln B. Lsks, H. E. No. 4512, for the NW NEJ4, Sec. 85 SWVi . SEJi and E, SWii Sec. 26. T 4 8. R 11 E. He names the following witnesses to prove his continuous residence upon and -cultivation of nam laiiu, viz.: J. K-Woodcock; I. D. Driver, 8. G. Ledford, of n amic, x. J. driver, oi ine .uaues. , JAS. F. MOORE, Register. NOTICE FOB PUBLICATION. . TJ. S. Land Office, The Dalles, Or. J July 26, 1894. ( Complaint having been entered at this office by Frank Malone against John Vredt for aban doning his homestead entry, No. 4333, dated Mareh 28. 1892, upon the EJ4 SWW, NWJ4 8Wl and SW NW, Sec 10, Tp. 8 8, S 18 E, in Wasco County, Oregon, with a view to the can cellation of said entry, the said parties are here by summoned to appear at this office on the 19th day of September, 1894, at 10 o'clock a. m., to respond and furnish testimony concerning said alleged abandonment. E. M. Shutt, U. S. Com missioner, is authorized to take testimony "t Antelope, Oregon, on September 12th, 1894, at j.u o ciocK a. m. JAS. F. MOOSE, Register. to Yor t Ueelcly 41-ON II." 'JM k Duly and Weekly liirosiicle. . THE CHRONICLE was established for the ex press purpose of faithfully representing The Dalles and the surrounding country, and the satisfying effect of its mission is everywhere apparent. It now leads all other . publications in Wasco, Sher-. man, Gilliam, a large part of Crook, Morrow and -Grart counties, as well as Klickitat and other re- . gions north of The Dalles, hence it is the best medium for advertisers in the Inland" Empire. The Daily Chronicle is published every eve ning in the week Sundays excepted at $6.00 per annum. The Weekly Chronicle on Fridays of each week at $1.50 per annum. For advertising rates, subscriptions, etc., address. THE CHRONICLE Tlie Dalles, Oregon. There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at its JtsoA leads on to fortune" The poet unquestionably had reference to the AT CRANDALL Who are selling those poods MICHKLBACH . JUtlCK. D. BUNNE Pips WorR, Tia MAINS TAPPED Shop on Third ' Street, 'next door west of Young & Kus' Blacksmith Shop. THE CELEBRATED COLUMBIA BREWERY, AUGUST BUCHLER, Prop'r. This well-knovrn Brewery ia now turning oat the best Beer and Portei east of the Cascades. The latest appliances for the manufacture of good health ful Beer have been introduced, and ony the first-class article will be placed on he market. - mm I nbune $1.75 s PUBLISHING CO., is &. BURGET'S, out at greatly-reduced rates. ' - . ilNION ST." " Repairs ami UNDER PRESSURE. CamB Hoofing . 'V 1