. MOW DO YOU DO
wben you buy shoes or clothing?
Don't you go to tbe place (if you
an find it ) where they tell you that
you may wear the articles out, and
then, if you're not satisfied, they'll
refund the money? Why not do
the same when you buy medicine?
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery is sold on that plan. It's
the only blood - purifier so certain
and effective that it can be guar
anteed to benefit or cure, in every
case, or you have your money back.
It's not like the ordinary spring
medicines or sarsaparillas. All the
year round, it cleanses, builds up,
and invigorates the system. If
you're bilious, run-down, or dys
peptic, or have any blood - taint,
nothing can equal it as a remedy.
The worst cases of Chronic
Catarrh in the Head, yield to
Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
So certain is it that its mak
ers offer $500 reward for an
incurable case.
'"What are your political beliefs?" "I
don't know that I have any." "What?
Don't you belong to any party at all?"
"Oh! Why didn't you ask that iirst?
I am a democrat." Indianapolis Jour
nal. Deafness Cannot 1e Cured
'By local applications, as they cannot
reach the diseased portion of tbe ear.
There is only one way to cure Deafness,
and that is by constitutional remedies.
Peafnees is caused by an inflamed con
dition of tbe mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets
inflamed you bare a rumbling sound or
imperfect bearing, and when it is entirely
closed Deafness is the result, and unless
the inflammation can be taken out and
this tube restored to its normal condi
tion, bearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases out of ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but an in
flamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case of Deafness (.caused by catarih
that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, free.
F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
CiySold by Druggists, 75c.
Mamma What are you trying to
draw? Little Ethel A elephant.
"Rather a difficult subject." "I'd rather
draw elephants than anything else, be
cauee my iriends can always tell what it
is. They knows a elephant is the only
animal wif two tails." Philadelphia
Press. -
It Should lie in Every Mouse
J. B. Wilson, 3.71 Clay St., Sharps
burg, Pa., says he will not be without
Dr. King's New Discovery for consump
tion, coughs and colds, that it cured bis
.wife who was threatened with pneumonia
after an attack of "la grippe," when
various other remedies and several phy
sicians had done her no good. Robert
Barber, of Cooksport,, Pa., claims Dr.
King's . New Discovery has done him
more good than anything he ever used
for lung trouble. Nothing like it. Try
it. Free trial bottles at Snipes & Kin
ersly's. ' -.
Manhaltone So you really think that
marriage is an expeneive institution?
Kakefronte Why, yes. I never got a
divorce that didn't cost me at least a
thousand. Buffalo Courier.-
While in Chicago, Mr. Charles L.
Kahler, a prominent shoe merchant of
Des Moines, Iowa, had quite a serious
time of it. He took such a severe cold
that be could hardly talk or navigate,
but the prompt use of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy cured bim so quickly
that others at the hotel who had bad
colds followed bis example and half a
dozen persons ordered it from the near
est drug store. They were profuse in
their thanks to Mr. Kahler for telliDg
them bow to cure a bad cold so quickly.
For sale byBlakeley & Houghton Drug
gists. She Why does the ocean make that
moaning sound? He probably one of
the bathers stepped on its undertow.
Brooklyn Life.
Hacklen'i Arinca salve.
The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fevei
sores, tetter, chapped bands, chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and posi
tively cures piles, or no pay required.
It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac
tion, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For . sale Dy Snipes & Kin
ersly. For Colic and Grubs
In my mules and horses, I give Simmons
Liver Regulator. I have not lost ne
I gave it to.
E. T. Tatlok, Agt. for Grangers of Ga.
Notice.
All ity warrants registered prior to
January 2, 1892, are now due and pay
able at my office. Interest ceases after
this date. 1. 1. Bubget, City Treas.
Dated Dalles City, Aug. J, 1894.
INCOMES IN ENGLAND.
Wealthy Men Not So Numerous
as in America.
Notwithstanding Which the Wealth of
This Country I Wore Evenly Dis
tributed Facts Cleaned
from Flpures.
If the evidence of the British govern
ment returns showing the number of
persons assessed for the income tax is
trustworthy the number of very rich
people in the United Kingdom is small.
Only 250,000 subjects of the queen con
fess to an annual income of over $51,000
a year derived from trades or profes
sions. The whole number of them who
live on the scale represented by a fam
ily income above the $1,000 mark, de
rived from any source, is set down at
about 2.000,000, or one in nineteen of
the population. In other words, says
the Baltimore Sun, not,more than 5 per
cent, of the inhabitants of England,
Wales, Scotland and Ireland are living
in the moderately well-to-do state, im
plied by a family income of 820 per
week. Going1 up in the scale of in
comes we learn from these official re
turns that 123,000 British families, ag
gregating C15,000 persons, are all who
are in receipt of incomes of 51,500 a
year and over. Commenting" on these
figures the Westminster Gazette says
of the limits of wealth and income in
the realm of Victoria: "The possession
of what is ordinarily termed a modest
income, of anything1, in fact, above
150 (or 750) is a rare stroke of fortune,
which comes to very few in this world,
while the chance of becoming a Croesus
is so wildly remote that it will hardly
enter into the calculations of a reason
able man." It appears that about
5,000 persons in the whole United King
dom have incomes of over $25,000 a
year. Gen. Booth some time since took
a servant girl census of London and
found that only 94.000 houses in that
city hired any servants at all. and that
in one-half of that number there was
only one maid-of-all work employed.
And this in the richest city of the coun
try, containing one-ninth of its entire
population.
Making due allowance for the fact
that Britishers, like mankind general
ly, can be trusted not to overstate their
incomes for purposes of taxation, it is
still evident that the wealth of this
country is not only greater than that
of Great Britain, but that it is better
distributed. Far more American fami
lies than British have incomes exceed
ing any given figure above S1,000 a
year. As against the 5,000 British fam
ilies with incomes of $25,000 a year or
larger, the famous tabulation made by
Thomas G. Shearman shows that there
are more than twice as many American
families possessing that degree of
wealth. These Shearman figures have
not been disputed by anybody, and. if
true, they show that at least 400,000
American families, or 2,000.000 persons,
live on a level of comfort represented
by an income of 52,000 a year or more,
as against the same number living on
the 351,000 a year plane' in England. It
is estimated that 85,090 persons will be
called upon in this country to pay the
new income tax on incomes exceeding
4,000 a year. The British parliamen
tary returns indicate that this is three
limes as many persons as are assessed
over that figure by the queen's Tax col
lectors. On the whole it seems safe to
conelede that tlie average incomes of
families in the United States are still
liigher than in the most favored, or at
any rate the best governed, country in
Europe. Wealth is still distributed
more evenly here than anywhere else
in the world.
ALL HAD SEEN HARD LUCK.
The Actor and the Man Who Kents Out
done by the Dry iioods Clerk.
"I think," said the actor, "that the
toughest luck I ever ran against was
when I was playing Lorenzo in a comic
opera company which I prefer shall be
nameless for reasons of my own. We
had an engagement at a pavilion in a
summer garden. It was a good engage
ment, too, and we went out there with
our hearts as full of hope as our pockets
were empty of money. It happened,
though, that we struck one of those
nasty cold summer months. This was
the coldest that I ever saw. It was
positively arctic. But the place was
popular and a lot of people came on the
iirst night. Show was a dead frost,
though, and we had to walk back."
"Didn't the people like it?" asked the
Buffalo Express man.
"Couldn't tell. - You see, there was a
big crowd, but it was so blamed cold
that they all wore ear-muffs and
couldn't hear the gags."
"Huh," said the man who rents,
"that ain't a marker to the luck I had
to-dny. Here I am a man with a sick
wife and a lot of other things on my
hands, and when I got home to-day I
found that it would be absolutely im
possible for me to stay there any longer
All there is to it, I've got to move.
When you think that my wife is flat on
her back, you will realize what an af
fliction that is. I've got to move; think
of it."
"Well," inquired the reporter, "what
have you got to do that for? Shy on
the rent?" .
".No; I'm not shy on the rent, but a
lot of my old creditors found the place
the other day, and there's nothing to
do but get out of their way."
"You fellows make me laugh," said
the dry goods clerk. "You actually
make me laugh. You talk as if you
knew what hard luck really is. Why,
you ain't in it with me! I had a job as
floor walker that paid me thirty dollars
a week. Part of my duties were to
paint the signs used so extensively in
the store. I always was handy with a
brush, you know. I had a big sign to
paint for the candy counter last Wednes
day. It was to read 'Fresh To-day,'
meaning some particular kinds of can
dies. - I painted it, but an infernal imp
of a boy who worked in the store paint
ed another just like it that read 'Fresh '
Toddy' and hung it in place of mine. I
The highly moral head of the firm had
a fit when he saw it and fired me with
out giving a chance for an explanation."
AFFECTED BY WEATHER.
The Mental Faculties Regulated to Some
, Extent by Atmospheric Changes.
A writer in the American Journal of
Psychology for this year discusses the
subject from the view of common ex
perience, and presents' some facts that
are interesting as well as leading m
their directness. lie says: "The head
of a factory employing three thousand
workmen said: "We reckon that a disa
greeable day yields about ten per cent,
less work' than a delightful day, and
we thus have to eount this as a factor
in our profit and loss account.' Acci
dents are more numerous in factories
on bad days. A railroad man never
proposes changes to his superior if the
weather is not propitious. Fair days
make men accessible and generous, and
open to consider new problems favora
bly. Some say that opinions reached
in best weather states are safest to in
vest on." Other facts are mentioned in
the psychical and physiological rela
tion, as "weather often affects logic,
and many men's most syllogystic con
clusions arc varied by heat and cold.
The knee-jerk seems proved
to have another factor. It is , not
strange if the eye, e. g.. which wants
the normal stimulus in . long, dark
weather, causes other changes,"
Temperament is a fundamental fac
tor in sensitiveness to atmospheric
changes, that type of it called the
mental being the more intensely af
fected, while the bilious type may ex
hibit by comparison the more capricious
or morbid impressions, says the l'reno
logical Journal. The mental mani
festations, as a rule, however, depend
upon the organism primarily. If the
culture is good, i, e ; the faculties have
been trained to co-ordinate, harmoni
ous action, and the elements that con
tribute to serenity and self control
have been well developed, weather
conditions will but operate like other
parts of the environment, and self
training will show adaptation and self-
repression. The "nervous," excitable,
irascible person is he who has not
learned to control feeling and expres
sion and it is he who finds fault with
his surroundings and imputes uncanny
conduct to them. That there are f unc
tional states of the body that predispose
one to mental depression or exhilara
tion we are ready to admit. A torpid
liver, a chronic catarrh, a rheumatic
joint, and even, an old corn may render
one susceptible to weather changes,
the physical ailment producing a nerve
reaction that is kenly felt at the spinal
centers and may test the spirit. Mind,
however, is superior to matter, or
rather constituted for superiority.
Fairly organized, carefully developed
and trained, it will exhibit that supe
riority by its pose and calmness in cir
cumstances that are disagreeable or
painful to the physical sense. -
DANGER IN A LOBSTER'S CLAW.
Twenty-Five Pound Monster Can Kasily
- SDap a Mau'a i'increr Off.
A mature lobster is not small or
harmless looking by any means, says
the Xew York Eveninsr Post. Without
the claws an old fellow should measure
from one to two feet in length, and
will weigh altogether from five to fif
teen pounds. Smaller ones are caught
more frequently than larger ones.
especially since the competition has
become so fierce as to reduce the num
ber and size all along the New Eng
land coast. Occasionally an old-timer
is caught one that weighs as high as
twenty-five pounds. Such a - monster
is a veritable fighter, and a fierce strug
gle is sometimes experienced before
the creature is landed safely. The
claws of a large lobster are- powerful
enough to crack the shell of a clam or
to snap off a man's finger. Instances
are on record where several lingers
have been thus nipped off and where
severe injuries have been inflicted on
the hands and arms. The fishermen
are consequently very cautious when
they land a big lobster, and take par
ticular pains to see that he is well se-
cured before taking him out of the
trap. According to the fishermen of
Newburyport, Mass., the lobster sheds
his shell for the first time when he is
about five years old, but no one seems
able to tell how often after that the
shedding occurs. The young lobsters
a few inches in length have very little
power to protect themselves, and they
generally seek refuge under their
mother's shell when danger approaches.
If startled by enemies when away from
their mother they will run into conch-
shells or other places of refuge. The
parent lobster shows the same ma
ternal instinct noticeable in all living
creatures. If her young are pursued by
enemies she is pretty sure to enter into
the race also. Her powers of locomo
tion are pretty good at such times and
her fighting abilities of no mean order.
Very few fish or shell creatures can with
stand her onslaughts or give effective
battle with her. One stroke of her pow
erful claws will suffice to destroy most
enemies. The food of the lobsters con
sists for the most part of clams, mus
sels, flounders, sculpin and other fish
that get within their reach. They
seize these creatures with their strong
anterior claws and hold them up to the
mouth whjle the substance is slowly
sucked in.
A Gold Miner's Flan.
An Australian mining journal is re
sponsible for the following story: A
miner in that country who was obtain
ing fine gold by sluicing, was askec
how he saved it. lie replied that he
employed the common amalgamation
process, but used a novel and ingenious
retort for the purpose. "After amal
gamating with quicksilver, I get a
potato," said the miner, "cut off one
end and scoop out a cavity in it large
enough to take my ball of amalgam. I
next take a spade or piece of flat iron
and place that over the fire; and then
upon that I place the potato with the
cut side down. As the amalgam gets
hot the 'silver' evaporates and goes all
through the potato; but it can't get
through the skin. When it is cool I
have my gold button on the spade and
my 'silver' all in fine globules in the
potato. I break that potato up under
water and I have all my 'silver,' "
"You are old, my dear prandma," the little girl
said '
As she lay by the fire with Dolly.
"For as white as the snow are the hairs on your
head
Yet you always look rosy and Jolly.
"Pray tell me, dear grandma, the reason of this
Why you alwajs look healthy and spritely.
Why you never are pale when you give me a
kiss,
Why von take such long walks-, mom and
nightly!"..
"The reason, my darling," her grandma replied
"Is simple, it needs no description.
I've nlways been well, for I keep by my side
A bottle of Pieree'a l'resci iption."
All ages, and all conditions of woman
hood will find just tbe help that woman
needs, in Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip
tion. That's a matter that's guaranteed.
1 If it can't be done, then the medicine
costs you nothing its makers don't
want your money.
I For all derangements, irregularities
and weaknesses peculiar to the sex,
, "Favorite Prescription" is the only
remedy so certain that it can be guaran
teed. If it fails to benefit or cure, you
have your money back.
Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy positively
cures catarrh.
Lost! Five Dollars Reward.
Strayed from my west pasture, one
iron-grey horse, branded - (half circle)
on left shoulder and two S's crossed on
right shoulder; rather thin cinch sore
on left ribs ; foretop roached back to the
place for halter. Probably went tow
ards Tygh Ridge. Will give $5 reward
I for his return to me at my ranch, or a
liberal reward for any information lead
ing to his recovery.
A. S. Roberts,
lm - Prospect Ranch.
For Trout Lake.
.
The great fishing resort of the North
west. Parties can procuro teams or con
veyance the round trip by writing and
stating time they wish to start, number
of the party, amount of bapgage, etc.
Address A. H. Jewett,
lm . White Salmon, Wash.
Cord Wood.
We again have an abundant supply of
dry fir and bard wood for immediate
delivery at tbe lowest rates, and hope to
be fayored with a liberal share of tbe
trade. . . Jos. T. Peters & Co.
Get Your Money.
All county warrants registered prior
to August 1, 1890, will be paid on pre
sentation at my office. Interest ceases
after' July 12th. Wh. Michell, ,
County Treasurer.
For Rent.
The Union street lodging house. For
terms apply to Geo. Williams,, admin
istrator of the estate of John Michel
bach, lm.
"The Regulator Line"
Tie Dalles, Portlaij ani Astoria
Navigation Co.
THROUGH
Freiani ana Psssenger Line
Through Daily Trips (Sundays ex
cepted) between'The Dalles and Port
land. Steamer Regulator leaves The
Dalles at 7 a.m., connectingat the Cas
cade Locks with Steamer Dalles City.
Steamer Dalles City leaves Portland
(Yamhill st. dock) at 6 a. m., connect
ing with Steamer Regulator for The
Dalles.
PA8SENUEK KATES.
Oneway.... '.. $2.00
Round trip 3.00
Freight Rates Greatly Reduced.
All freight, except car lots,
will be brought through, with
out delay at Cascades.
Shipments for Portland received at
any time day or night. Shipments for
way landings must be delivered before
5 pi m. Live stock shipments eolicted.
Call on or address,
W. C. ALLAWAY,
General Agent.
B. F. LAUGHLIN,
General Manager.
THE-DALLES.
OREGON
J F. FORD, Evanplist,
Of Des. Moines, Iowa, writes uuder date ol
March 23, 1893:
S. B. Med. Mfg. Co.,
Dufur, Oregon.
Gentlemen :
On arriving home last week, I found
all well and anxiously awaiting. Our
little girl, eight and one-half years old,
who had wasted away to 38 pounds, is
now well, strong and vigorous, and well
fleshed up. S. B. Cough Cure has done
its work well. Both of the children like
it. Your S. B. Cough Cure has cured
and kept away all hoarseness from me.
So give it to every one, with greetings
for all. Wishing you prosperity, we are
Xours, . Mb. & Mas. J. F. Ford.
If you wish to feel fresh and cheerful, and ready
for the Spring's work, cleanse your system with
the Headache and liver Curo, by taking two or
three doses each week.
Sold under a positive guarantee.
SO cents per bottle by all druggists.
JJK. A. DIEIKICH,
Physician and Surgeon,
DOFUE, OREGON.
43SF" All professional calls promptly attende
o, day and night. - aprH
He vj York WeeEciy
lailpnraeE;!
Iliroick :
THE CHRONICLE was established for the ex
press purpose of faithfully representing The Dalles
and the surrounding country, and the satisfying
effect of its mission is everywhere apparent. It
now leads all other publications in "Wasco, Sher
man, Gilliam, a large part of Crook, Morrow and
Grant counties, "as well as Klickitat and other re-
gions north of The Dalles, hence it is the best
medium for advertisers in the Inland Empire.
The Dally Chronicle is published every eve
ning in the week Sundays excepted at $6.00 per
annum. The Weekly Chronicle on Fridays of
each week at &1.50 rer annum.
For advertising rates,
THE CHRONICLE PUBLISHING CO.,
Tlie Dalles, Oregon.
'There .is a tide in the affairs
.... leads on
The poet unquestionably had reference to th
c
-Ont Sale
at CRANDALL
Who are selling those pooas
MICHKLBACH liKICK..
1
D. 'BUNNELL,
Pipe Won, Tin Bepaiis Hoofing
MAINS TAPPED UNDER PRESSURE.
Shop on Third Street, next door west of Young & Kuss'
. Blacksmith Shop.
THE CELEBRKTED .
COLUMBIA BREWERY,
AUGUST BUCHLER, Prop'r.
. This well-known Brewery is now turning oat tha best Beer and Porte
east of the Cascades. The latest appliances for the manufacture of good health
ful Beer have been introduced, and on.y the first-class article will be placed on
he market. . - . .
inline
subscriptions, etc., address
of men which, taken at its Jiooc
to fortune."
oi l
& BURGET'S,
out at greatly-reduced rates.
' - - PXION ST.
Garnets