JUST FULL f improvements Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. To beffin with, they're the smallest, and the easiest to take. They're tiny, sugar-coated anti-bilious granules, scarcely larger than mustard seeds. . Every child is ready for them. Then, after they're taken, instead of disturbing and shocking the sys tem, they act in a mild, easy and natural way. There's no chance for any reaction afterward. Their help lasts. Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, Sick or Bilious Headaches, and all derangements of the liver, stomach, and bowels are promptly relieved and perma nently cured. They're put up in glass vials, which keeps them always fresh and reliable, unlike the ordinary pills in wooden or pasteboard boxes. And they're the cheapest pills you can buy, for they're guaranteed to . give satisfaction, or your money is returned. .-. Yon pay only for the good you get. The citizens of Oxford, Chenango county, N. Y., are to celebrate the one hundredth anniversary of Oxford acad emy on June 28 and 29. The institu tion is the oldest but one in the state. Horatio Seymour, Ward Hunt and other distinguished men were enrolled on its list of students. Kenneth Bazemore lad the good for tune to receive a small bottle of Cham berlain's Colic, Cholera, and Diarrhoea Remedy when three members of his family were eick with dysentery. This one small bottle cured them all and he had Borne left which he gave to Geo. W. Baker, a prominent merchant of the place, Lewiston. N. C, and it cured him of the same complaint. - When troubled with dysentery, diarrhoea, colic .-or cholera morbus, give this remedy a 'trial and you will be more than pleased with the result. The praise that natur- allv follows its introilnction and nse has made it very popular. 25 and 50 cent bottles for eale by Blakely & Houghton, druzcists. Clara I'm afraid I should get tired of married life. I should like to be married .one year and single the next, year and year about. JacK Why don't you go on the stage, then? New York Herald. ' Deafness Cannot fee Cured By local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There is only one way to cure Deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an inflamed con dition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can be taken out and this tnbe restored to its normal condi tion, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an in flamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (.caused by catarih'1 that cannot be enred by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free. F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O. 7Sold by Drngrgists, 75c. , English Lord I assure you, madam, I can always tell at a single glance what people think of me. American Host ess It must often be very trying for you, my lord ! Truth. "I know an old soldier who had chronic diarrhoea ot long standing to have been permanently cured by taking Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy," says Edward Shnm pik, a prominent druggist of Minnea polis, Minn. "I have sold the remedy in this city for seven years and consider it superior to any other medicine now on the market for bowel complaints." 25 and 50 cent bottles of this remedy for sale by Blakely & Houghton drug gists. Even the- most successful effort to bear the wheat market must go against the grain. Buffalo Courier. My boy was taken with a disease re sembling bloody flux. The first thing I thought of was Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. Two doses of it settled the matter and cured him sound and well. I heartily recom mend this remedy to all persons suffer ing from a like complaint. I will an swer any inquiries regarding it when stamp is inclosed. I refer to any county official as to my reliability. Wm. Roach, J. P., Primroy, Campbell Co., Tenn. For sale by Blakely & Houghton drug-gi8t- ' . We could uae most of the advice we give away. For Colic and drabs - In my mules and horses, I give Simmons liver Regulator. I have not lost ne I pave it to. E. T. Tatlos, Agt. for Grangers of Ga. A WATCH OF WOOD. The Remarkable Ingenuity Which Secured Pardon for a Russian Convict. A watch described in the Scientific American is an excellent illustration of what may be accomplished by a combi nation of ingenuity, skill and persist ency. It is a watch made almost wholly of wood by a watchmaker, who was convicted of some crime and sent to Siberia by the Russian government. The convict made this watch to while away his time, and was pardoned be cause of his work. The only tool he had to work with was a penknife. Ir regularity in the work can only be dis cerned by examining it with a glass. Nevertheless it is remarkably accurate and the watch runs and keeps fair time. The wood used was box wood. The numerals on the face are small pieces of ivory, inlaid. The dial wheels are of ivory, and are set on the face of the dial. The hour, minute and second hands are of tortoise shell. The second dial is recessed on the lower part of the main dial. The wheels and plates of the movement are of wood, while the pinions, balance, cylinder and es capement wheel are Of ivory. The rachet. spring is of wood. The plates are held together by wooden pins and the balance bridge by ivory screws. The key with which the watch is wound is made of wood with an ivory sip, and is made like a modern rachet key. The winding "square" is of ob long' shape. This ingenious watch maker also constructed the box in which the watch is contained. All Vhe joints are perfect, so that the box it practically dust proof. A LEGEND OF CALVARY. About the Soldier Who Pierced Christ's Side with the Spear. The name of the soldier who pierced Christ's side with the spear while he was hanging1 on tho cross has been pre served in the legendary lore of the church as Longinus, says the St. Louis Republic. This man was one of the soldiers appointed to keep guard at the cross, and it is. said that he was con verted by the miracles which attended the crucifixion. The legend even goes further, declaring that he was one of the company of watchers set to guard the scpulcher, and that he was the only one who refused to be bribed to say that the body of our Saviour had been stolen by the disciples. For his fidelity to this great truth, Pi late resolved upon his destruction. On this account Longinus left the army to devote his entire time to spreading the gospel; but he did this without first getting permission from the gov ernor of Judea, or from Rome. He and two fellow soldiers whom he had con verted retired to Cappadocia, where they began to preach the word of God. At- the instigation of some of the leading Jews, however, Pilate sent out a detachment of soldiers who surprised the deserters at a place where . they were holding a Christian meeting, and where they had three crosses, set up as an illustration of the tragedy which had occurred but a short while before at Jerusalem.. AH three' were killed and beheaded, and their heads nailed upon the crosses and carried in triumph back to Jerusalem. AMBULANCE FOR MINE USE. It Is Adapted to Crooked and Uneven Passageways. The difficulty of carrying injured men in mines through narrow and un even passages has often been recog nized. An apparatus invented by Dr. Paul Troisfontaines is described by the "Semaine Industrielle," of Brussels, and seems to be simple and convenient, as well a3 cheap. It consists of a sort of hurdle or litter, made of hoops about eight mm. in diameter, placed parallel and joined by a fabric of coru or mat, somewhat like a hammock, thus giving when required rigidity in one direc tion and flexibility in the other. The injured man is laid in the litter with his legs extended and his arms at the side of his body; the upper part of the litter is then folded over and secured by three or four straps. The man then forms a package, and can be car ried without the slipping and jolting of an ordinary litter, no matter how narrow or rough the workings may be. In case of fracture there is .believed to be less danger in carrying a man in this way, holding him immovable, than in attempting to keep the broken limb in place by rough splints or bandages extemporized on the spot. These lit ters can be easily stored in a small space. ' HER FUNERAL EXPENSES. She, Has Found Them Useful on Several Occasions. "What do you do when you need some money dreadfully and haven't got any?" asked one girl bachelor of an other who carried herself with an opu lent air and who was famous for dis covering cash in times of financial dis tress, says the New York World. "Well," replied the other bachelor, "I'll tell you, if you won't tell anybody. , I borrow it from my funeral expenses." "Funeral expenses!" exclaimed the horrified querist, "what do you mean?" "Just this; when 1 first began earn ing money I put in bank several hun dred dollars for my funeral expenses. I've always had a horror of people be ing able to say of me: 'Poor thing, her uncle had to bury her,' or 'The church had to pay her funeral. Well, when I'm feeling pretty robust and want something very much, without having the requisite cash, a trip, a new gown, or a course of lectures, I borrow the sum needed from my funeral expenses, and put it back when I am in funds again. I argue that good clothes, rec reation and intellectual pleasures help me postpone my f uneral, no it is really a wise investment. Do start a funeral fund. You don't know how convenient it is." ' The Moon's Movements. The inhabitants of this earth have never seen but one side of the moon. The explanation is this: The moon makes one revolution on her axis in the same period of time that she takes up in revolving once around the earth; thus the same geographic region of the lunar surface is always toward us. WOOD FOR KINDLING. How It Is Prepared by 8team and Ma chinery for Use. Pine kindling-wood comes principally from the forests of Virginia. The trees, says the Scientific American, are first cut down and the trunks quar tered and sawed into proper lengths. The wood is then carted to the coast, packed into sailing vessels and brought to this section, where it is bought up at the docks by the dealers and manu factured into kindling wood, being first sawed into short lengthsj then passed through a steam splitter which carries the pieces to an elevator, which in turn passes them along and drops them down into the delivery wagons. The pieces of timber, which' are four feet six inches in length, are first sawed into eight and one-half inch lengths, the saws used for the purpose being thirty inches in diameter, one-eighth of an ineh in thicknes, having fifty inch and a quarter teeth. These saws make about two thousand revolutions per minute, the attendant being able to saw up about from twelve to fifteen cords per day. ' The pieces as ' fast as they are sawed are passed to a steam splitter. They are first placed end up on a movable endless chain, which, by the aid of two hexagon wheels and a ratchet wheel which is worked by an eccentric, causes the chain with the wood to move along under the kives, which pass down through the pieces of wood, splitting each of them into a dozen or more pieces. The knives are four in number and bolted into the crosshead. They are twelve inches in length, six inches in width and three-quarters of an inch in thickness. The knives pass up and down a i perpendicular slide with a twelve-inch stroke, making . about eighty cuts per minute. The endless chain is twelve inches in width, and passes over a wooden bed, the top of which is covered with an iron plate which protects the chain from the blows of the knives when striking the wood. At every downward stroke of the knives a moveable bearing which the knives pass through holds the pieces of wood down firmly against the chain. With the upward stroke it releases the split wood, which is moved forward about two inches at a stroke by the chain, which is worked by the ratchet wheel and ecccn trie. The pieces of wood then drop down into an elevator at the end of the machine and are car ried off to the delivery wagons by a number of buckets bolted on a twelve inch cotton belt. These buckets are eighteen inches apart, and made of wooden strips three .inches in height and about one and one-half inches in thickness. They are held in place by being bolted to narrow iron strips on the under side of the belt. The belt is about forty-five feet in length, and travels about one thousand feet per minute. The splitting machine can cut about twenty cords per day. A delivery wagon holding about one cord can be filled in about fifteen minutes. The wholesale price of Virginia pine at the dock is from '. seve n dollars to eight dollars per cord, the manufac tured kindling wood brings from eleven dollars to thirteen dollars per cord. MADE YOUNG BY THE CIRCUS. A Childless Pittsburgher's Vain Quest for an Excuse to Visit the Sawdust Ring. It is surprising- how paternal men be come when a circus comes to town. They must get fatherly to become child ish. A Pittsburgh Dispatch reporter saw one man the other day who spent most of the forenoon trying to "bor-. row a boy to take to the circus." He confided to me that the circus was one thing that made the blood thrill in his veins, but his dignity would not per mit him to attend one without sufficient excuse. As he had. nov- children of his own he was forced to hunt up somebody who would loan him a child to take to the show. He said: "But the strang est part of it all is that I was unable to get one- ' Now. you would imagine that there would be plenty of children around anxious to see a circus, and you would be right; but the supply did not equal the demand. By actual count I went to twelve of my friends who have growing boys and requested that I might give the little fellows some pleasure by taking them. : Without a single exception they thanked me Very much for my kindness, and said they were going to take them themselves. Now, I would feel foolish going to a circus without I had a child with me. Yet I do not know of anything I like better. It brings back the old days when I was in the country, a bare footed boy following the parade, look ing with wonderment at the lone ele phant plodding along. ..The smell of the sawdust, the cries of the peanut and lemonade man are ' as pleasant to me as the new mown hay and singing birds. They are the chemicals which develop the unseen image which is upon the plate of memory, and it comes forth in all its glory. , But I missed this aU. for, thanks to the same feel ing in the hearts of my father friends, all the available 'excuses' were taken up. . Go myself? What do you take me for? Do you think 1 woul.l allow any one to think I would enjoy such a thing as a circus? Never." "Ignorance in Mexico. Says an American business man who has been living in Mexico: . "What Mexico most needs is education. The ignorance of the peons is astonishing. If the great churches of America, which are yearly sending millions of dollars to China and Africa to educate the heathen there, would devote a fair pro portion of that money to Mexico far more good would be accomplished. The money would be better spent and re sults more apparent. The few mis sionaries in that country are .doing ?ood, but their number is not suf icient. Then less theology and more liberal education should . be taught, sectarianism should not interfere with the work. Strange as it may seem, the English' tongue has displaced the French as a foreign tongue, and is rap idly being learned by the younger na tives." ' A "Bun-down" " And "need-up" feeling is the first warn ing that your liver isn't doing its work. And, with a torpid liver and the impure blood that follows it,' you're an easy prey to all sorts of ailments. That is the time to take Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical discovery. As an appetizing, restorative tonic, to repel disease and build up the needed flesh and strength, there's nothing to equal it. It rouses every organ into healthful action, puri fies and enriches the blood, braces up the whole system, and restores health and vigor. For every disease caused by a disor dered liver or impure blood, it is the only guaranteed remedy. If it doesn't beneft or cure, in every case, you have your money back. : 500 is offered, by the proprietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh. Their remedy per fetly and permanently cures the worst cases. Lost! Five Dollars Reward. Strayed from my west pasture, one iron-grey horee, branded"' (half circle) on left shoulder and two S'e crossed on right shoulder ; rather thin cinch sore on left ribs ; foretop reached back to the place for halter. Probably went tow ards Tygh Ridge. - Will give $5 reward for his return to me at my ranch, or a liberal reward for any information lead ing to bis recovery. A.S.Roberts, lm Prospect Ranch. For Trout Lakt. The great fishing resort of the North west. Parties can procure teams or con veyance the round trip by writing and stating time they wish to start, number of the party, amount of baggage, etc. Address A. H. Jkwktt, lm , - White Salmon, Wash. "The Regulator Line'5 Tie Dalles, Portlaiifl .art 'Astoria Navigation Co. ; - THROUGH ; FrelgHt and Passeiiger liixb Through Daily Trips (Sundays ex cepted) between The Dalles and Port land. Steamer Regulator leaves. The Dalles at 7 a.m., connectingat the Cas cade Locks with Steamer Dalles City. Steamer Dalles City leaves Portland (Yamhill at. dock) at 6 a. m., connect ing with Steamer "Regulator for The Dalles. PASSENOEK BATES. ' ' ' One way . .,. . Round trip. ....$2.00 .... 3.00 Freight Rates Greatly Reduced. All freight, except car lots, will be brought through, with out delay at Cascades. . Shipments for Portland received at any time day or night. Shipments for way landings must be delivered before 5 p. m. Live stock shipments' solicted. Call on or address, W. C. ALLAWAY, Oenerft! Agent. B. F. LAUGHLIN, General Manager. THE-DALLES, OREGON J F. FORD, Evangelist, Of Dei Moines, Iowa, writes under date ot March 23, 1893: S. B. Med. Mfg. Co., , -. - Dufur, Oregon. ... ' . Gentlemen: - On arriving home last week, I found all well and anxiously awaiting. .Our little girl, eight and one-balf years old, who had wasted away to 38 pounds, is now well, strong and vigorous, and well fleshed up. S. B. Cough Care has done its work well. Both of the children like it. .Your S. B. Cough Cure has cured and kept away all hoarseness from me. So give it to every one, with greetinge for all. ' Wishing you prosperity, we are Yours, Mb. & Mas. J. F. Fobs. 11 yon wish to feel fresh and cheerful, and read j for the Spring's work, cleanse your system with the Headache and liver Care, by taking two or three doses each week. Sold under a positive guarantee. 60 cents per bottle by all druggists. House Moving! Andrew Velarde IS prepared to do any and all lrirfa of work in his line at reasonable' figures. . Has the largest house moving outfit in Eastern Oregon. ' Address P.O.Box 181.The Dalles JK. A. DIETRICH, ' , , Physician and Surgeon, - DTJF0B, OREGON. CST- AU professional calls promptly attende o, day and night. aprl4 B V evj';Yoift .'.TJeeldy. 4KDNLY cra ipi Will 1 mm THE CHRONICLE was established for the ex press purpose of faithfully representing The Dalles and- the surrounding country, and the satisfying effect of itsmission is everywhere apparent. , It now leads all other publications in Wasco, Sher man, Gilliam, a large part of Crook, Morrow and Grant counties, as well as Klickitat and other re gions north of The Dalles, hence it is the best medium for advertisers in the Inland Empire. The Daily Chronicle is published every eve ning in the week Sundays excepted at $6.00 per annum. The Weekly Chronicle on Fridays of each week at $1.50 per annum. 'For advertising rates, subscriptions, etc., address . THE CHRONICLE PUBLISHING CO., Tlie Dalles, Oregon. There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at its jZoa leads onto fortune." The-poet unquestionably had reference to the -oiiriP at CRANDALL W.ho are selling those goods MTCHELBACH ' BRICkI MAINS TAPPED Shop on Third Street, next R! IJVMN P , .Diacxsmun oaop. THE CELEBRATED ; u COLUMBIA BREWERY, a w ir-r r-w f yt r?r r- rtuuuo i DUunLLn, rropr,. . ; r ; V: Thia well-known Brewery, is now turnin? oat the best Beer and Porter east of the Cascades. The latest appliances for the manufacture of good health ful Beer have been introduced, and ony the first-class article will be placed on he market. a rabune S1.T5 ; c t; -; '.. : :. m Finn I Carpets & BURGETS, out at greatly-reduced rates. ."'- - '-ttTNION ST. I mv.'7 5 Si UNDER PRESSURE. door west of Young & Kues'