i rx j I J) SOMETIZIN& TO liEMEUBXR, 3f you're ? weak or ailing woman : that there's only one medicine bo sure to help you that it can he guaranteed. It's Dr. Pierce's Fa vorite Prescription. In building up overworked, feeble, delicate wo men, or in any " female complaint " or weakness, if it ever fails to bene fit or cure, you have your money hack. It's an invigorating, restora tive tonic, a soothing and strength ening nervine, and a safe and certain remedy for. woman's ills and ail ments. It regulates and promotes all the proper functions, improves ligestion, enriches the blood, dispels aches and pains, brings refreshing ' sleep, and restores health and strength. In all the chronic weaknehses and disorders that afflict women, it is guaranteed to benefit or cure, or the money is refunded. Nothing else can . be as cheap. . With this, you .pay only for the 'good you get. HEEL Easily, Quickly. Permanently Restored. WEAKNESS, NERVOUSNESS, DEBILITY, and aU the train of arils from early errors or later excesses, the results of overwork, sickness, worry.eto. Pull strength, development and tone given to every organ and gortlon of the body, lmple. natural met tiotls. Immediate Improvement seen. Fnllure impossible. 2.000 references. Book. explanation and proofs ! mw itm iBeaieuj tree. ERIE MEDICAL CO. BUFFALO. N.Y. THOSE WHO WISH j Glass, Lime, Cement, ' PLASTER, LftTH, j i Picture Frames, Shafting, Pulleys, Belting, Engine and Boiler, - CALL, AND SEE ZEE. O-Xj E DST-3ST-. "The Regulator Line" The Dalles, Portland and Astoria Navigation Co. THROUGH Freignt ana Fcsoengsr Line Through Daily Trips (Sundays ex cepted) between The Dalles and Port land. Steamer Regulator leaves The Dalles at 7 a.m., connecting at the Can cade Locke with Steamer Dalles Citv. Steamer Dalles City leaves Portland (Yamhill St. dock) at 6 a. m., connect ing with Steamer Regulator for Th Dalles. PA88INOIR KAIKll, One way. . . . Bound trip. .2 00 . 3.00 Freight Rates Greatly Reduced. All freight, except car lots, will be brought through, with out delay at Cascades. Shipments for . Portland received at any time day or night. Shipments for way landings ronm be delivered liefor 8 p. m. Live stock shipments eolicted. Call on or address, . : W. C. ALLAWAY, tiwtifrI A Kent.. B. F. LAUGH LIN, THE DALLES. OREGON GEORGE HOLLAND'S JOKE. lion-- ttie Great Comedian Once Upon a Time Uooke:! a Policeman. From 'The Autobiography of Joseph JeiTerson,'" in the Century, we quote as follows: ''George Holland was distinctly an :ictor of. tho old school, invariably in troducing even into modern character' its traditions and conventionalities; h etTects were broadly given, and his per sonality was essentially comic. He w quite an old man when I first knew him, and I had serious doubts as to whether our acquaintance in .tho theater would be an agreeable one; for by tho tenr"' of my engagement I was to hold a lead ing part as the oommedian of tho com pany, and he, who had always occupied that station, was placed as second t me. I naturally thought that- feeling himself comparatively subordinate, anil that 1, a younger man, was to outrank him, ho would, by his manner at least, .resent ray intrusion upon his former ground. I was, however, agreeably mis taken; for I found him too generous a man to harbor any jealous feelings, and to my gratification wc were friends from our first meeting. It is pleasant also to know that this relationship extended over many years, and up to the day of his death. "The useful cafeer and unblemished character of George Holland will be re called by all who knew him. . lie lived, a bright and cheerful spirit, in this world for eighty years, for time could not age his youthful heart. He was the merriest man I ever knew. Practical joking was a passion with him, and though his pranks were numerous, by some good fortune they always ended innocently and with harmless mirth. I remember that on one occasion, when some goldfish had been placed in the ornamental fountain in Union Squaro, Holland dressed himself in a full sport ing suit, and with a fish-basket strapped upon hi3 shoulder, a broad-brimmed hat upon bis head and a rod in bis hand, he unfolded a cauip-stool. and quietly seat ing himself in front of the fountain be gun to fish, with such a patient and earnest look in his faco that no one could havo supposed that it was intend ed as a practical joke. This strange spectacle soon attracted a curious crowd about the sportsman, who with a vacant and idiotic smilo sat there quietly awaiting a nibble. A policeman soon forced his way through the crowd and arrested Holland, who explained with a bewildered look that ho was fishing in his own private grounds. Tho police m;i:i naturally concluded that tho in-triiiii-r was some harmless lunatic, and pat;i:ig him kindly on tho shoulder bado him go home to his friends. Hol land burst into a flood of tsars, and while affectionately embracing the guardian of tho law contrived to faster the fish-hook into the collar of tho po liceuian's coat, who walked slowly and sympathetically away, unconsciously dragging the line and rod after him. The crowd, seeing tho joke, roared with laughter, as Holland quickly mailo his way to tho nearest omnibus, which ho reached before, the infuriated policoman could cato nim." AN ODD STEAMBOAT. Bow an Ingenious Kegrn Ituilt One Out or Odds and Knris. ' Some amusing descriptions have been written about the home-made steamboat that plies on the St. Paul river, Liberia, but very little has been said of tho mo chanical genius who. knocked the boat together out of material that was never intended for a steamboat. His name is Irons and he used to be a slave in South Carolina. Awhile ago he made up his mind that it was high time there was a Steamboat plying on the St. Paul river between Monrovia and the first rapids. Ho secured the engine of an abandoned sugar-cane crusher, and wont to work to build hi3 stcamor. Ho took a canoe fifty feet long and ripped it from stem to stern with a saw. He placed tho halves nine feetapart, ribbed and plan ked them, and before long tho hull was ready for the machinery. Hardly any two pieces of tho machinery were ever together before. He had to mako a score of things before he could induco that engine-" to turn a paddle-wheel. He-pifeked up bits of iron shafting 'anil so., on hero and t"7C, ZZ'l wittt the' aid of a blacksmith shop 'knocked them into shape so that they would work smooth ly together. Ho made a pair of paddle wheels, built a deck-house, secured an old steam-whistle, fitted up a rudder wheel, launched his creation and was ready for business. This man was once an illiterate slave on a cotton plantation, but inventive talent was born in him. His side-wheel steamer -is not conspicuous for speed or beauty, but sho is serviceable, and is noteworthy as the first steamboat ever built in Africa and probably tho first that was ever built out of pickod-up material. One of Liberia's disadvantages is tho fact that the former slaves, who compose her citi zens are most of them jioor, not only in purse, but aloO in intellectual equip ment. But sho has her men of mark like Dr. Ulyden, who would bo respected any where for their attainments and ability; and sho has reason to bo proud of such a man cii Irons, who was known for hisre markabio inventivo and mechanical talent long before he built Liberia's lirst steamboat. - insurance Ag limit Kanks. A company has been established to guarantee depositors in National, State and saving banks and trust companies against loss by reason of the suspension or failure of such institutions in which thoso guaranteed may havo their de posits. In caso of tho suspension or failuro of such an institution in. which tho party, guaranteed has money on h por.it, tao company, upon receiving evi dence of tho fact and a transfer of the claim with power of attorney to collect, p-ys tho full cmountduothc-guaranteed by tho insolvent institution. Tho rates are cs follows: For any amount not ex ceeding 0000 CI per year; for any amount not exceeding 1.50 per year; for any amount not exceeding 81,000, S3. 50 per year, cr.d 02.50 for every additional 01,0. J guaranteed.; It i3 a Now Jersey in:ilii f.ttpn and has been incorporated vti tiiaa a year. . A DRINK OF TURPENTINE. the Mistake WniI Made a I -a wye r Out - - of a Store Clerk. "It is remarkable vrhat little irjei lents v.-ili change the oourseof a man's life." raid the veteran lawyer. Joseph A. ISonlmrn, the ether day. while ia a reminiscent -jnood, to a Philadelphia tall reporter. 'Kovr, if it had not been for a little mistake I should probably nave been a country storekeeper in stead of a latvyer." . "How was that?" inquired the listen-. sr.. . . I "Well, when I was a young fellow," ! said the lawyer, "my father placed me with Andrew Provost, an old French j merchant, at Freiijhto--n, J., to learn the business. Provost kept a lit tle of everything in the store, which wis in charge of John Jones, who r. w keeps a store of his oxvn somewhere in Jersey." I hadn't in-cri tUcro lor..t v.' hah one-day an old farmer came in with a half -gallon jug after gin. Jonen r.cnt me dovn the cellar with the old frvria-.-i to draw it. As I wan not familiar with the numerous barrels ia the cellar and didn't know much about gin, 1 conclud ed to let the farmer try a drir.is from the different barrels until he struck' the right one. This pleased him. lie took the tumbler and turned the spigot of the first barrel.' 'Struck it first time, said he, as he straightened tip -and drank. Then ho tlirew him-.e!f down on the cellar ilor and yelled like a fiend. He had struck the turpentine barrel. They took him over t the doc tor's to have him pumped out, while I, thinking the farmer was a dead man sure, ran up to the Provost mansion and hid in my room. I lay low all night till four o'clock in the morning, when I skipped out and drove to the turnpike, where I knew the stage was coming along at that early hour. I got to Philadelphia by easy stages and soon afterward found ovit that the - farmer who drank the turpentine was . ctill alive. I entered Theodore Cuyler's of fice and studied law. If it had not been for that turpentine I might have been a Jerseyman yet." WOMEN ON DUTCH RAILWAYS. Long Honrs and Small Pay for Doing , Comparatively Light Work. The British consul at Xhe Hague says that, as regards -the employment of women and children on Taiiwrys, it is stated that the latter are mos'Jy m:::e use of at the several railway woriis, their parents being glad of the one or two ilorins they are able to cam for comparatively light work. They art occasionally put to similar work cn the permanent way, being paid at the rate of 75 or 80 cents. The worsen are chiefly 'employed in cleaning the car riages, working on an average cipkt hours a day on the state railway, with light work on alternate Sunday:;, and getting 14 florins 25 cents wages pei fortnight; on the Holland railway ten hours a day without Sunday work, with a daily wage of 1 florin U0 cents, or else watching the lines, turn about with their husbands, the "wegwach tcrs" or cantonniers On the state railway their work averages twelve hours (the men taking the night duty) and they are paid at the rate of 25 cents a day, being lodged besides; the husbands earning 90 cents a day. On the Holland railway the average hours of work are about the same, t he woman receiving pay at thes rate of 55 cents s day, 1 florin 65 cents a week being, however, deducted for the lodging al lowed them. For women with families the -rvork is considered trying, especially when they are kept on duty as long as sixteen hours, as is the case at certain points, where the traluc happens to bc. very heavy. As regards the general condi tions under which the persons ia the employ of the great." Dutch railway companies carry o.n- their work, tho tes timony of the, numerous witnesses ex amined by the commission, with a few exceptions, went to. show that they are well satisfied both as to the wages they receive and as to the - treatment awarded them.' 1 One witness was of the opinion that the wages of . railway servants compared favorably with those of most factory hands. How'a Tills! We offer One iin'.iir-fl Dullm-a TinararA 'or any cxee nf CatMrrh that cannot be ured bv Hall's C-.iturrli Cure; F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo, O. We the nudei-Minpd have kiinun F. .1. Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe nun eriecllv lionoru Die in all liiisinePS transaction and nnanciHlly utile to carry iut any i-bliwHtion nmde ly their firm. " Wkst & Tbaus, Wholesale Draitei-t:, Tolid... O. W i . . . T" . . . p. t .' , T- l !-rih urugtrisis, ltil-l", U. Hull's Ciitsirrli Cure is taken intern ally, acting direclly upon the blood and nine mi? surfaces' ot the system. Price 75c. per hottle. Sold by'all drnguits. Testimoniats fr e. . All Free. Those who have used Dr.' King's New Discovery know its value, and those who have hot, have now the opportunity to try it free.Call on the advertised drug gist and get a trial bottle, free. Send your name and address to H. K. Bucklen & Co., Chicago, and get a sample box of Dr. King's New Life Pills free, as well as a copy of Guide to Health and House hold Instructor, free. All of which i" guaranteed to do von good and cost yon nothing. Sold by Snipea & Kinemly. : It is said that no. book has ever been printed which did not contain typo graphical blunders. The nearest ap proach to perfection is "The Lnsiad," printed by Joza Sousa -in 1817. which has but one, ajtd that an accident caused by the press. - Sleeplegftnf sn. , - Remove the cause by regulating the liowela, by establishing good digestion nd by quieting the nerves with Sim mons Liver Regulator. Try it and ymi ill soon know the. blessings of good health and sound. sleep. Poison the squirrels. Sure Shot at Snipes & ICiueraly's. - A Painful Experience. A bashful and youthful bridal couple from the rural districts had a painful experience at Danbury circus day, says the, New Haven Register. . The young hushand wrote his own name and his wife's on separate lines of the hotel register and the purblind clerk assigned them to separate rooms. Each waited for the other to set the matter straight, but it was only after a terribly lone- -some hour that the ' bride plucked tip sourage and her . marriage certificate and descended to interview the clerk. She held out the document mutely and the situation at last dawned upon him. The banished benedict was summoned ' from bis seclusion and the curtain fell amid profuse apologies. v. TIio First Shaven. j ' Unlike the Romans of the latter age the Egyptians did not confine the priv- j ilege of shaving to free citizens, but -obliged their slaves to shave both face ; aiiu iicuu. ine uuium is not exactly ut authentic as one would like to have " it. but it is believed that the custom ot shaving the beard was introduced ir Rome in the year 300 IJ. G. According to Pliny, Scipio Africanus was the first Soman -who shaved daily. Persons who tymputnize with the afflicted will rejoice with D. E. Carr of 12o5 Harrison street, Kansas City. He is an old sufferer from iiiflammator rheumatism, bat has not heretofore been troubled in this climate. Last winter he went up into Wisconsin, and in con sequence has had another attack. - "It came upon me very acute and severe," he said. "My joints swelled and became inflamed ; sore to touch or almost to look at. Upon the nrvent request of inv mother-in-law I tried Chamberlain's Pain Balm to reduca the swelling and ease the pain, and to my agreeable sur prise, it did both. I have used three fifty-cent bottles and believe it to be the finest thing for rheumatism, pains and swellings extant. For sale by Blakeley & Houghton, drnegists. The self-denial week for foreign mis sions English Presbyterian church realized 1,000. The Lutheran Year Book gives a list of 70 orphanages, asylums, etc., tinder the Lutheran name. See the World'! Fair for Fifteen Cents. . Upon receipt of your address and fif teen cents in postage stamps, we will mail you prepaid our souvenir portfolio of 'the world's Columbian exposition, the regular price is fifty cents, but as we want yon to have one, we make the price nominal. You will find it a work o art and a thing to be prized. - It con tains full page views of the great build ings, with descriptions of same, and i executed In highest style of art. If not satisfied with it, after you get it, we will refnnd the stamps and let you keep the book. Address . H. E. BtrcKXBN & Co.. Chicago, 111, . Nokway ranks second to England in the number of her sailing vessels of fifty tons and over. The United States is third.. ' A lady at Tooleys, La., was very sick with bilious colic when M. C. Tisler, a prominent merchant of the town gave her a bottle . of Chamberlain's Colic, Cholera i and Diarrhoea Remedy. He Bays she was well in forty minutes after taking ,tBe first dose. -For sale by Blakeley & Honghton, druggists. At - the ' ' late . jubilee in Carlsbad iu 'honor of . "iribit:.'.:y. tho Catholic priest eorfipo.x-e-.i festival hymn, the Protestant minister wrote the words and th;i Jewish synagogue furnished the sinners. ' v . Buekleu Armca salve. The best ealve in tho world for cuts. raises', Bores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilblains, orns, and all ekin eruptions, and posi 'ively cures piles, or no pay required It is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac tion, or money refunded. Price 25 cents per box. -For sale by Snipes & Kin ersly Cottage Pudding. One cupful of milk, one egg, one tablespoonful of baking powder, two tablespoonfuls of melted butter, one-half cupful of sugar, one pint of flour. Mix, and bake one- half hour. Serve with liquid sauce. WOOD'S 1'liOSPIIODIJfJi Tho Great English Remedy. r71t Promptly and permanently ' cores all forms of Nervous i WeaJeneaStEmitsions. Sperm- atorrheoi Xmpotency and aU effects of Abuse or Exoesses. Been prescribed over S5 rearaln thousands of cases; ijj,, j j3ft, latheonlvBeHablemdBbn' J est tnediotne Jmoten. Ask druggist for Wood's PhosDhodinej if be otters come worthless medicine in place ot this, leave his disnonest store, inclose price in letter, and we will send by return mail. Price, one package, 1; six, 5. One toiU please, atavai cure. Pamph let in plain sealed envelope, 2 cents postage. Address The W-ood Chemical Co.. 1C1 Woodward nvenne. Detroit, Mloh. SoM-in Th Dalles bv snipes & Kinersly. J. F. FOBD, Evanplist, . Of Des Moines, Iowa, writes under date ot March 23, 1898: S. B. Med. Mfq. Co., Dufur, Oregon. Gentlemen : . On arriving home last week, I founo all well and anxiously awaiting. Out little girl, eight and one-half years old. who had wasted away to 38 pounds, it now well, strong and vigorous, and well fleshed up. S. B. Cough Cure -has done its work well. Both of the children like it. Your S. B. Cough Cure has cured nnd kept away all hoarseness from me. So irive it to every one, with greetings for all. Vyishing you prosperity, we are Yoursi . . Mr. & Maa. J. F Fobd. If you wisb to feel fre&b and cheerful, and read for the Spring's work, cleanse your system witt the Hexdaehe and Liver Cure, by taking Uom three doses each week. . Bold nnder a positive guarantee. . 50 cents per bottle by 11 druggists. HewUTdf k;: WelilrdyTribune -AND- OHLY The ' Wasco County, The Gate City of the Inland Empire is situated at the head f navigation on the Middle Columbia, and is a thriving, pros perous city. , ITS TERRITORY It is the supply city for an extensive and rich - agricultural and grazing country, its trade reaching as far south as Summer. Lake, a distance of over two hundred miles. The Largest Wool Market. The rich grazing country along the eastern slope of the Cas cades furnishes pasture for thousands of sheep, the wool from which finds market here. The Dalles is the largest original wool shipping point in America, about 5,000,000 pounds being shipped last year. ITS PRODUCTS. The salmon fisheries are the finest on the Columbia, yielding this year a revenue of thousands of dollars, which will be more than doubled in the near future. The products of the beautiful Klickitat valley find market here, and the country south and east has this year filled the warehouses, and all available storage places o overflowing with -their products. , ' ITS WEALTH. It is the richest city of its size on the coast and its money u scattered over and is being used to develop more farming count y than is tributary to any other city in Eastern Oregon. Its situation is unsurpassed. Its climate delightful. Its pos sibilities incalculable.."'' Its resources unliniid. And on. these -orner tones sh- Ktinds. Men the Tram stops at THE DALLES, get off on the South Side - ' T THE flEW GOLtUlVlBlfl HOTELi. - ThiR lorpe and popular Ilonse doe- the principal hotel business, . .' and is prepared to furnish Va Host Accommodations of any House In tho city, and at the I... v rata of .......-.... $1.00 per Day. - pirst Qass reals, 25 Ccpts. Office for all Stage Lines leaving The Dalles for all points in Easteru Oregon and atiru Wasulnerton, In tail Hotel. Corner of Front and Union Sts. ' ''There is a tide in the affairs leads on The poet unquestionably had reference to the CI at CRANDALL Who are selllne these poods ; WM kwk'K'. isii-Oil Sale 0! c- D. BUNN Pipe WorR, Tin Repairs and Roofing MAINS TAPPED UNDER PRESSURE. Shop on Third Street, next door west of Young 5 TCus&V Blacksmith Shop. - $1.75. Oregon, T. T. NICHOLAS, Propr. of men which, taken at its fiooA to fortune" J Forittre 1 Cmsis & BURGET'S, out at greatly-reduced rates. I .- rvmv ST.