The aUes Daily Ctoniele.
Entered at the Fostofflce at Tae Dalle. Oregoa
. as second-class matter. .
THE DALLES
OREGON
DON'T KNOW HOW TO AT.
Too Many Americana Woefully Deficient
i . la That Branch of Educations-
'.' ""When mv children get to the proper
asre," said the man who was smoking a
briar pipe, '-'I intend -to have them
: taken in hand . by some competent per
son and give them a thorough instruc
tion in the art of eating, and, further,
in the science of finding oat what to
eat and ordering." '
"What do you mean?" inquired a
Buffalo Express man who sat next to
him. .
"I mean this: The average American
citizen is woefully deficient in Tmowl
dir of what he can get to eat. He
falls down when it comes to ordering
. . dinner. The great majority of people
. in this country are brought up frugally
at home and do not know anything but
r the - commonest dishes. . The conse-
quence is that when a man goes into
- a -restaurant for dinner or to a hotel he
; gazes helplessly at the bill of fare and
sees many things of which he does not
know the component parts. lie dares
not order anything that he is not sure
of for fear of ridicule, and he falls back
on roast beef -and mashed potatoes.
The fact is, he doesn't know anything
but roast beef. Same way in a restaur
ant. When a waiter shoves a bill of
fare under a man's nose nine times out
of ten he will look it over and then say:
'Gimme a steak and some fried pota
toes.' Now, the man who does this
day after day doesn't want roast beef.
He is sick unto death of steaks and
fried ' potatoes. - He loathes -ham and
eggs, and j-et he keeps on ordering
them in dreary and dyspeptic succes
sion, because he 'doesn't know any
better and he is too proud to confess
his ignorance. It's that way with me,
and I'll bet it's that way with most of
you. I am going to relieve my children
of all these things. They're going to
know what's what when it comes to
eating. 'No roast beef domination!'
shall be my household slogan."
Fish as a Fertilizer.
a novel object lesson on the
It was
effects of stimulants that a New Yorker
sojourning in Maine last summer dis
covered.' Beside the house where he
boarded was a field that had once been
cultivated, but now was as barren as
Sahara. "What is the matter with the
land that nothing will grow on it?"
he asked the fisherman, his host. "Fish
did It," was the laconic answer.
"How?" ."Why, it was manured with
fish. You know farmers near the' sea
shore use porgies, dogfish, and other
fish worthless to eat to fertilize the
land- And .don't the fish just make
the crops grow for a few seasons! Look
. . at that patch now. For years it
yielded the finest corn, potatoes and
. garden sass you ever heard of. You
. : see the fish acts on land just as alco
hol acts on a man. It stimulates it up
to the highest notch, and as long as
there is any productive power left in
the soil it goes into the crops. But
there came the . time when that field
gave out all at once, and all the fish
; you could heap ou it wouldn't make
it.bear so much as weeds or grass. Tho,
ctftly thing is to let it lie fallow until
tli.2 soil gain:; strength by rest. Farm
ers round the seashore have found out
that though fish fertilizers give them
tempting crops to start with, they
must be handled as carefully as a man
ought to handle rum or brandy."
A Wood-Dock's Tomb.
At the farm of G. W. Ilutchins, seven
miles from Marysvillc, a bee tree was
found near the east bank of Feather
river, which was cut to obtain the
honey. After the tree was cut down
to the ground an investigation
was instituted and the honey
located in a x hollow half-way be
tween where it was cut and the top.
On cutting open the body of the tree
they secured about eighty pounds of
honey, eleven duck eggs and a dead
duck. It appears that a wood-duck had
formed a cavity through a hole that
was originally large enough to admit
her body. After laying eleven eggs
she had commenced setting to hatch
them and while doing so the bees had
filled the hole with comb, so that she
could not get out and she died on the
nest. Red Bluff (Cal.) Democrat.
Good Chance for a Rustler.
A man. is wanted by Kerr & Buckley
of GraBS Valley to run their hay and
grain ranch on shares, one with some
means preferred, but can furnish all
horses, harness, plows, etc., if neces
sary," provided he pays his own living
expenses for the year. One hundred
and fifty acres is already sown and now
growing nicely, 100 acres are plowed,
ready, V-ww in the spring, and there are
100 acri of old land to plow and sow.
For furttier particulars address Kerr fe
Buckley, Grass Valley, Or. dwtf
' T y-"1 . :
Sloe Keward, SIOO.
The readers "bfthis paper will be much
pleased to learn that there is at least one
dreaded disease that science has been
able to cure in all its stages, and that is
Catarrh. ' Hall's Catarrh Cure is the
only positive cure known to the medioal
fraternity. ..Catarrh being a constitu-
tional disease, requires a constitutional
- treatment. Hall's Catarrh Care is taken
internally, acting directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system,
thereby destroying the foundation of the
.disease, and giving the patient strength
by build'ng up the constitution and as
sisting nature in doing its work. The
proprietors have so much faith In its
curative powers that they offer $100 for
any case that it" fails to care. Send for
' list of tfH'imonials. Address
F J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O.
The Breakfast -of & Rounder After
: a Night Out,
" ;
An Institution of Uncertain Origin Yet
familiar to All "Walters Opinions
of .Physicians on the Try.
log: Mixture.
Take six men of the world gentle
men, I mean, of an all round social ex
perience, who have been unfortunate
enough to stay too long with their
liquor once in awhile and probably
five of them will tell you what is meant
by the term "drunkard's breakfast,
says the New York Herald.
For the enlightenment of the sixth
member' it may be explained that a
drunkard's breakfast," so called m
many swell clubs and restaurants, con
sists of a salt mackerel, boiled, not
broiled; a dish of milk toast, and a pot
of strong-, hot tea. This is a repast
which is supposed to be peculiarly
adapted to the stomach of a man who
permitted himself to be tempted to look
. , 1 !
too promiscuously upon -m; -- m.
night before.
My wife's absence from home com
pelled me to take my meals at the
restaurants recently. For my first
breakfast I went to one of the fine
hotels in the immediate neighborhood.
The restaurant was chilly, and that,
added to a severe cold in my head,
must have piven a watery appearance
to my eyes and a nervous tremor to
myhand as I took a seat and picked up
a bill of fare. An obsequious waiter
stood at hand to receive my order. I
ran over the list of meats a secona
time, pausing, mentally, midway, 'twix
a steak and a chop. The waiter,
noting my indecision, but utterly mis
taking the spirit behind it all, stepped
to my side and with perfect politeness
said: "Eef I maybe permit, I reci
men' ze salt mackerel, wis ze xneelk
toast and ze tea ver' nice. ' It eez ze.
breakfast populair wis gentlemen after
ze excitement of ze long night."
The fellow had, actually recommend-,
ed a drunkard's breakfast for my con
dition, although as a matter of fact I
hadn't taken a drink in a year and a
half!
DNext morning I went into another
restaurant near by not exactly a first
class place, but an extraordinarily
good second-class one where the busi
ness is enormous, the cooking excel
lent and the service generallv satis
factory. My eyes were bloodshot and
watery still, the result of a neuralgic
attack. The waiter, a decorous, hand
some German-American, handed me
the bill of fare, eyed me 'suspiciously,
but not' rudely, for an instant and
then remarked in an undertone: "How
would a nice salt mackerel, boiled, a
plate of milk toast and a pot of tea
suit you this morning? That is what
many of our patrons order for break
fast after they have been' out late.
Much better than cocktails, I assure
you."
There was no impertinence in the
man's voice or manner. He didn't
dream of being intrusive. He merely
thought he was doing me a friendly
service in suggesting- a regular brac
ing "drunkard's breakfast."
The same suggestion will be offered
in many first-class restaurants to any
man whose appearance or manner in
any way excites the suspicion that he
drank too much the night before. The
hint is always offered politely and
quietly, and only after the waiter has
convinced himself that his purpose in
making the suggestion will not be mis
understood. And thus, in some mysterious way,
it has come to be believed among res
taurant waiters that for a man .who
has had a long drinking bout the cor
rect breakfast should consist of salt
mackerel, milk toast and tea! It is an
extraordinary combination, surely,
and why it is peculiarly adapted to
the condition of a man recovering
from a spree is as mysterious as the
identity of the genius who first pro
posed it.
. A popular physician who was spoken
to with reference to this - fad said:
"Yes, I know what a 'drunkard's
breakfast' is, but why any man suffer
ing from over-indulgence in drink
should eat such a meal is more than I
can tell. Salt mackerel is harsh, acrid;'
hot and irritating to an already con
gested stomach. I can think of no
article of food more likely to increase
the digestive disorders due to drink
than salt mackerel." -
Another physician of long .practice
and wide observation said: - "It would
be interesting to "know how and with
whom the 'drunkard's breakfast' origi
nated. It is a ridiculous idea. None
but a normal stomach in healthy con
dition can digest a salt mackerel with
out discomfort, or at least unpleasant
reminders of its presence. It is a fish
that I am very fond of, but if I eat of
it even after drinking moderately it
causes an attack of indigestion. My
only theory of its supposed popularity
as a breakfast dish for one who has
taken a drop too much is this: Its salti
ness excites thirst for great quantities
of cold water, which is, in my opinion,
of real benefit to a stomach v fevered
with alcoholic irritation. It enables
him to drink water copiously until the
stomach is cleaned and cooled, and the
alcohol in his tissues becomes so di
luted that it is the more easily elimi
nated from his system. As- for its ali
mentary value in such cases, I can't
see that it has any. The milk toast
would be all right, but salt mackerel
and tea what an insult and crime it
is to force them upon a stomach al
ready smarting and burning under the
abuses of alcohol!" , V
Nevertheless the "drunkard's break
fast" is an institution and a fixture.
If you don't believe it just go into an
up-to wn restaurant some morning when
you do not feel on particularly good
terms with yourself and allow ' the
waiter to infer from your manner that
yon were somewhat oil the coast the
night .before. If that waiter is up to
date and estimates you as one of kind
ly spirit, he will discreetly suggest a
breakfast consisting of salt mackerel,
"There is a tide in the affairs
' . - leads on to' fortune." !
The poet unquestionably . had reference to the
Mv-Oit Sals
at CRANDALL
Who are selling those poods
' : M1CHELBACH BRICK,
P1RSTCLHSS
Do
Is
CAN BE
C H RON I C
Heasonably
New - Umatilla - House,
THE DALLES, OREGON. -
SINNOTT &. FISH, PROP'S.
Ticket and Baggage Office of the 17. P. R. R. Company, and office of the Westers
Union Telegraph Office are in the Hotel. - ' '
Fire-Proof Safe for the Safety of all Valuables.
LARGEST : AND : FINEST : "HOTEL : IN : OREGON.
TTT ANTED Situation on ranch by a competent
t au-rouna man. Address j. j. sianoney-
Tne lianas, ur.
WANTED Pushing Canvassers of pood ad
dress. Liberal salary and expenses paid
weeKiy; permanent position, dkuwh sku..
i;u., nurserymen, Portland, Oregon.
"4 lOwdawp
Rheumatism.,
- Lumbago, Sciatica,
. Kidney Complaints,
Lama BacK, etc
0.1. SAHDEN'S ELECTRIC BELT
With Electro-Magnetic SUSPENSORY
laich rstenwi ucn inprvvcmeiM -
"Win cure without medicine all Weak mot resulting from
OTer-taxAtiou of brain nerve forces x excesses or India,
cretion, as nervous debility, sleeplessness, languor,
rheumatism, kldiiey, liver and bladder complaints,
lame back, lumbago, sciatica, all female complaints.
arenera ill health, etc, Tills electric Belt eontaina
WoMterfkd Im promt en to over alt others. Current is
instantly felt by wearer or we forfeit &,OOO.OSi and
wili cure all of the above diseases or no pay. Thou.
U-nds have been cured by this marvelous invention
after all other remedies failed, and we frive hundreds
of testimonials in this and every other state.
Oar Pvwertal Im pro red KLKCTRIG 8C&PE.VS0BT. tbo
greatest boon ever offered weak men. frek wttat
Belt. HealUk mmA TlRmroo Straaaik GUAilAnTBKD la 60 ta
IHU Send for Illus'd Pamphlet, inaiied. sealed fxeo
8ANDEN ELECTRIO CO.,
ao X? Kir Street, JM.BXXAJk Jtft OJ&E.
The Dalles Daily Chronicle.
vi. ' HAS A FAMILY OF
?T. ...... 2000 EEADEES.
They read The Chronicle to get the latest and
most reliable hews. , And they read every line
that is in the paper. That Is what makes the
Chronicle an invaluable advertising medium.
The newspaper that . , goes to the family
firesides is the one that the advertisers
of today patronize I when they desire to
reach the people. . When they want yoor trade
their announcements will be f onnd in the paper.
Look over our columns and observe the verifica
tion of the truth of this assertion. Remember,
t, , a trade of a family of two thousand
is worth asking for through these 5j-
columns, espcially so at our ynj
C: P. STEPHENS,
D13..,EK IN
DRY GOODS
Clothing
Boots, Shoes, Hats, I-to.
FancjJ tjooclg, ; flotiigng,
Etc, - Eto., . Etc.
Fcond St.Tha Dalles.
of men which, taken, at its Jiooa
if
I BURGET'S;,
out at greatly-reduced rates.
- - ' UNIO ST.. . '
HAD AT. THE
LE O FFI CE
lainous Rates.
Caveats, and Trade-Marks obtained, and all Pat-
ent business conducted for Moderate Fres.
5 Our Office re Opposite U. S. ptcwt Office
, and we can secure patent in less time than those
t remote from Washington. -
Send model, drawing or photo., with descrip-
ition. We advise, if patentable or not, free of
charge. Our fee not due till patent is secured.
J A Pamphlet, "Howto Obtain Patents," with
(cost of same in the U. & and toccign countries
sent free. Address,
C.A.SNOW&CO.
Opp. patent Office, Washington. D. C. jf
MS
)9
eg
Tie Dalles, Porflani ani Astoria
Navigation Co.
THROUGH
FrcigltauHPasseierLiiie
Through Tri-Weetly (Sundays ex
cepted) between The Dalles - and Port
land. Steamer Regulator leaves- The
Dalles at 7 a. m.,
Mondays; Wednesdays and Fridays,
connecting at the Cascade Locks with
Steamer Dalles City. Steamer Dalles
City leaves Portland (Yamhill at. dock)
at 6 a. m., (
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Satur dayi,
connecting with Steamer Regulator for
The Dalles. . ....
PASSENGER KATES.
One way . .-.
Round trip. ........
.$2.00
. 3.00
Freight Rates Greatly Reduced.
All freigJit, except car lots,
will 'be brought: through, -with
out delay at Cascades.
Shi omenta for Portland - received nt.
any time day or night. ' Shipments for
way' landings must be delivered before
5 T. m. Live stock ehinmento nnlipterl.
Call on or address, . - -
' C. ALLAWAY,
i d.' . General Agent.
B. F. LAUGHLIN, ." ' '
, General Manager. .
n u li
mi n
ulator Line
l n e it
j5 r rry f T
When the 'fait stops' at THE
ftEW COIitf JVTBlfl HOTEL.
r- "o '
This lartre and popular Honse does the principal hotel bnclnes,
' and is prepared to furnish the Best Accommodations pf any ,
Ilousa iu the city, and at the low rate of . ....,' .
$i.ob per: Day; - prst Qass Teals, 25 Ceits.
' - . Office for alt BtBga-Lloea lasTlnr Thn Iall for all
points in Knutgra Oregon aid kwtwu Washington.
. in this Hotel. . , .
Corner of Front and Union Sts.
Ilieilalles
laily ai leekl
IhronicSe.
THE CHRONICLE was established for the ex- . .
press purpose of faithfully representing The Dalles
and the surrounding country, and the satisfying !
effect of its mission is everywhere apparent. - It
now leads all ether publicdtWs in Wasco, Sher
man, Gilliam, a large part of Crook, Morrow and
Grant counties, as weU as Klickitat and other re- .
gions north of The Dalles, hence it is the best
medium for advertisers in the Inland -Empire.
: The Daily Chronicle is published every eve-1-ning
in the -week Sundays : excepted at $6.00 . per
annum.. The Weekly Chronicle on Fridays of
each week at $1.50 per annum. ; V
For advertising rates, subscriptions, etc., address
THEXHRON I CLE PUBLISHING CO.,
Tile Dalles, Oregon.
Successor to LESLIE BUTLER. " '
Will constantly keep on hand a complete line of
GROCERIES, - CROCKERY,
' . jJ3sn ca-T r n. sts w are.
Having- purchased Mr. Butler's entire stock, I shall endeavor to maintain the reputation of
the house, which has been :
BEST GOODS AT L0WETT PRICES. - SQUARE DEALING TO EVERYONE
Call and see me, nesct door to Postofflce.
PAUL KR EFT & CO:,
DEALERS IN
PAINTS, OILS AND GLASS
. And the Most Complete and the Lateat'Patterns nd Designs in
gJS9 Practical Painters and Paper Hangers. None bn t the best brands of th
Sherwin-Williams and J. W. M -usury's Paints used in all - jar work, and none bat
the most skilled workmen employed. Agents for Maeury Liquid Paints. No
chemical combination or soap" mixture. A first class article in all colors.. - All
orders promptly attended to. '
w Faint Shorj ooruor Third aim W ashing tou tots.. J'Jie Dalles Oreoa
..Familiar Faces
O. EX BAYARD,
Late Special Agent Qenerpit Land Office.
Jfye FJeal Estate;
COU..ECTION- ACEl-STCY.
'JEW
Parties having Property they wish to Sell "or Trade, ' Houses to Rent, c
' - Abstract of Title furnished, will find if to their advantage to call on us.
We shall make" a' specialty of the .prosecution of Claims and Contest!
- -., ( ' before. the TJnitep States Xand Office. v .. .
85 Washington St.
TMO CELEBRTTTED .
COLUMBIA BREWERY,
AUGUSt BUCHLER. Prop'r.
This well-known Brewery ia now turning out the best Beer and Porte
east of the Cascades.- The latest appliances for the manufacture of good health
ful Beer have been introduced, and on. y the first-class article will be p'aced Oo
he market. ' '. " i ' '' "-
- ' '- 4 i i , ' DBiLEKB III : . '
BOOKS, JEWELRY, MKTCH
DALLES, get off en tte South' Side
T. T. NICHOLAS. Propr.
in a JVew Place....
J. EJ. BARNETT
Ipai?, Iisurapee,
IO. - -
THE DAXiIjES. OR.