How to Make a Dress Look Well Always.'
Be sure it fits well; that doesn't mean
that it should be too tight for eomfort.
See that it hangs exactly right.
When taking it off hang it np instead
9t throwing it in a heap to get crumpled.
Never omit sleeve protectors if yon
wd them at all.
Make war agzfinst all spots and press
plamngs that need it.
.Mend any rent on the right side with
nvelingg of goods and press carefully.
Heplace braid as soon as worn and
"fcrush whenever the dress needs it.
Have ns handsome buttons as you can
afford; they give style to a plain suit and
re necessary on an elegant one.
How to Treat a Frozen Fart.
Rub with snow and the bare hand al
ternately, gradually increasing the fric
tion until the sensation returns. The
person frozen should by no means be
taken into a warm room until the sensa
tion, is restored. It is nearly nl ways best
to begin in a tolerably cold room aud let
the air grow warmer very gradually.
Ia short, . the frozen part should be
thawed by a . gradual extension of the
patient s own circulation and never by
oatside heat, as in the latter there is
danger of inortificatiou.
, How to Treat a Newspaper Reporter.
Don't tell a newspaper reporter, when
lie calls on you on business, things
which you do not wish him to print. He
does not call for information for the fun
fit. He is there on business. When'
you meet a reporter socially don't say to
him every time you onen voux mouth.
"Xhis ia not for publication." The
chances are that reporters know the
proprieties of life quite as well as men
in other callings. If you really have
information to give either give it cheer
fully and frankly or refuse with firm
aess, but don't try to be clever and at
tempt any "funny business." If. you
give the information frankly you will in
.niuety-nine cases out of a hundred be
accurately reported and respectfully
treated. If you refuse on any other than
trivial grounds your reticence will be
respected. If you try to outwit the re
porter by an effort to mislead him or by
direct misrepresentation you are sure to
make a mess of it and wish that you had
been better advised. Disabuse your
mind of any foolish impression that
newspaper reporters are malignant per
sons trying to stir up strife in the world.
They are as a rule the opposite of this
and have as high an idea as -other men
of that message of glad tidings, "Peace
n earth and good will among all good
men.
How to Check Vomiting.
An obstinute case of vomiting (that is,
when the vomiting continues simply by
convulsive retching after the original
cause has ceased) may often be cured by
flrlnking freely of water as hot as can be
done. Seasickness in some ieople is
.greatly relieved by the game method.
How to Shave Easily.
The moment you get out of bed is the
best time. Your beard will never be bo
pliable after yon are around awhile.
First wash your beard well with soap
and cold water. Rain water is better,
of course. Then apply lather plentif ully
and cold as a rule. But if your razor is
cold, close it and place it in your pocket
or xinder yonr arm till it gets warm.
Like other edged tools, the razor is only
a very fine saw, and therefore it is better
to move itu little endways as you shave
rather than with a straight, broad
sweep. If you always shave in one di
rection around your face the beard will
Boon get a permanent "cant" in that di
rectum, the effect of which is well, a
matter of taste.
How to Loosen Glass Stoppers. . -
Sometimes a ground glas3 stopper gets
fixed so tight in the neck of the bottle
that it cannot be loosened without dan
ger of breaking. In that case dip a rag
in hot water and wrap it around the neck.
Try the stopper soon, so as to seize, the
instant when the heat has expanded the
bottle neck and has not yet affected the
stopper. A drop or two of camphine
around the stopper so that it will soak
in between it and the neck will often
serve. The surfaces of polished glass,
stopper and neck often adhere with
"wonderful tenacity.
How to Servo Macaroni for a Change.
Boil it until tender, putting it into a
vegetable dish. Then prepare fine bread
crumbs by tossing them in hot butter in
a spider until they are crisp. Spread
these over the macaroni. Thiifis bor
rowed from the German way of serving
noodles. -
- .
How to Clean Shells. .
Make a 6trong lye from ashes and al
low it to settle thoroughly, then boil the
Bhells in it six or seven hours. Soak
them in fresh water and rinse.
How to Make a Barometer.
Take a long narrow bottle and put in
it 2 drams of camphor and eleven
drams of spirits of wine. As soon as
the camphor is dissolved add a mixture
composed of water nine- drams, salt
peter thirty-eight grains and muriate of
ammonia (sal ammoniac) thirty-eight
grains. Dissolve these thoroughly -in
water before adding them to the other
mixture. Shake the whole well together.
votk me wnie ana wax in tne cork
tightly. Then make a minute aperture
in the cork with a hot needle. Hang np
the bottle and the many changes- in the
appearance of the fluid will soon teach
you by experience the impending changes.
How to Save Glass from Sadden Heat.
In washing, place the glass in cold or
tepid water first and add the hot water
without pouring any on the glass. When
cold lamp chimney is placed on a lamp
turn np the light slowly, giving the glass
tima f tiAav AAnallw -
LONDON THEATER TOUT8.
Bow Patrons Are Made Miserable by
Cloak, Proa-ramaae and Other Fiends. -
You have scarcely put yonr nose in
side a theater before you are seized upon
and called to stand and deliver. First it
is your coat. Men and women rush after
you and pester you for your coat. They
would rejoice if all were foolish enough
to yield to their importunate demands,
and risk colds, coughs, influenza and
bronchitis for the rest of their natural
life. Why, it is madness to venture into
the stalls without a draft protector.
Modern, theaters are so constructed that
they are mere draft traps.
If you are seated near the door you risk
a stiff neck. Y.ou must wrap your cloak
around you and be careful to protect
your legs from the blasts of wind that
pour in from every crack and canny. If
you are in the center of the stalls, at
many theaters directly the curtain is
raised a tornado of wind rushes across
the footlights and catches you by the
throat. I often think that women are
mad who venture into theaters with low
dresses in winter time. It is bad enough
for men. i
And yet these attendants get quite of
fended if we do not leave behind us. the
only garments that will protect us from
sudden death. Remember that no one
is free from the theater highwaymen.
Even those who go in with orders cannot
get out of the cloakroom or programme
tax. - At last they must pay. I remem
ber once going into a theater with a
friend who had a keen sense of the lu
dicrous. I think it must have been W.
S. Gilbert. It was a morning perform
ance and he was attacked in the usual
way:
"Coat, sir!"
"What do you want with it?"
"To take it off."
"Very well," he murmured innocently.
The highwayman prepared to strip off
his coat, and behold 1 my friend, who
had prepared for the . dodge, walked
away in his shirt sleeves I He had only
put on his overcoat, with nothing un
derneath it.
Unconcerned he was preparing to en
ter the stalls coatless. when the attend
ant rushed after him.
"Look here, sir, you must not go into
the stalls like that!"
"Why not?" he asked with -a bland
and innocent air. "You- asked for my
coat. You have got it. What more can
you want?" .
The coat and cloak fiends' having been
disposed of, you encounter the second
rankvof touts. . Now it is a programme
tor winch you must pay. They inso
lently bar your passage. They dun you
and din into your ears, "Programme,
sir!" It is not a civil request to know
if you would like a programme or not,
but a demand with an implied threat.
The implication is that you are a stingy
person, who has no right to be seen in
the stalls. ,
But this is not all. Having gone
througfi the first easy stages of theatrical
purgatory, you are worried all the even
ing .with ice sellers and chocolate vend
ors and stale cake providers, if you are
in the stalls, safely wrapped np from
the drafts, these touts edge in between
the very narrow and uncomfortable
stalls and generally make hay. They
tread on your toes, they disturb the lit
tle nest you have made, they make havoc
with the ladies' back hair, pulling ont
confiding hairpins and crushing the re
sult of the maid's handiwork. They
don't care if they dig yon in the eye
with an ice tray or powder you with the
refuse of sponge cake or bury you under
chocolate boxes. ,
Their duty is to make as much money
as possible for the speculating contract
tor. It is not their fault, poor things.
They all get a commission on their
wares and it is their duty to tout
Clement Scott in London Graphic.
Sense In National Proverb.
There is a deal of sound sense in the
proverbs of a nation. Earl Russell de
fined a proverb as being the wit of one
man and the wisdom of - many, and the
aptness of this is well shown in the fol
lowing from the Spanish, "Since we
cannot get what we like, let us like what
we get." The thought is as old as the
race of mankind, but ages passed before
one man hit upon the happy expression
of it. This saying, from the Chinese, is
a whole homily on pride in one sentence,
"When a tree is blown down, it shows
that the branches are longer than the
roots."
For a concise expression of the . lofty
aspirations cf youth and the sober
achievements of riper years, take this
sentence from Henry D. Thoreau, "The
youth gets together his materials to
build a bridge to the moon, or perchance
a palace or temple on the earth, and at
length the middle aged man concludes
to build a woodshed with them." B. A.
Heydrick in Brains.
' ' The Planchette. ,
The pla.t-!iette was the popular craze
in the year 1887 in Japan. The instru
ment used there consists of three pieces
of bamboo of a specified length tied in
the middle to form a tripod, over which
is inverted a shallow circular tray of
lacquered ware about a foot in diame
ter. . The legs aro 1 foot 6 inches, Japan
ese, - in length. All present put their
hands gently on the tray, and thecokuri,
as the object is called, or cokuri Ban, san
being honorific, is politely asked to an
swer the proposed questions by raising
one leg for "yes" and another for "no."
Or for "yes" by turning around, many
such devices beingoused. The operation
will be seen to be more closely allied to
"table turning" than what we know as
the planchette. Philadelphia Ledger.
It Went Off.
- One of my fellow students once bought
an old gun, which he intended to use in
some private theatricals he was produc
ing. Several of his fellow comrades
were in his room one night and the gun
came np for criticism. - One of them
picked it np and pointed it, pulling the
trigger. The others followed suit, but
after six or seven of them had tried it,
the next one pulled the trigger, the gun
going off and .blinding one of the poor
fellows for life, as well as disfiguring
.him. London Tit-Bits. r '
- -A Woman's Statement. -
. They got into an 'argument..' about the
money made by people who earn their
living on the stage. Of course they dif
fered; people can't argue satisfactorily
unless they do differ. , .But here is "the
opinion of a woman who was once on
the stage, who was considered popular,
who was clever enough in her work to
get applause and praise, who presum
ably earned more than the average ac
tress, and yet who is content with her
present life:
- "When I take out the money paid for
gowns which yere useless except on the
6tage. when 1 make allowance for trav
eling expenses, hotel bills, weeks in
which few performers earn anything;
when 1 take into account engagements
which could not for many reasons be
satisfactory to me; when I foot up the
salaries which sometimes in my early
work 1 never received, and when I esti
mate the thousand and one little ex
penses which were then necessary, I con
sider that for several years of my life 1
earned practically nothing but a living,
and 1 worked very hard, you must un
derstand. Wheu 1 .got married I left
the stage. Now it isn't necessary to tell
you what my salary was or what my
husband's salary now is, but his earn
ings are less than mine were. But we
two live much better n- his smaller
salary than 1 alone could live on my
bigger salary. We have a pretty home
and all that we need to be happy. We
save a little money too. ' So I suppose
this is a fair answer as to what ona
makes on the stage. There are a great
many circumstances to be considered."
-'ew York Tribune.
Ten AnxiOus Minutes.
Captain Anderson rescued the crew of
a Dutch schooner from a wild part of the
island of Formosa, after firing upon some
of the natives. His return is thus de
scribed in "A Cruise in an Opium Clipper.-"
"Our way took ns in single file
through a narrow pass, and as I entered
it at the head of my men, for a second
my heart almost ceased to beat at the
: startling sight that met my gaze.
"The pass was lined on both sides with
j ferocious looking natives armed with
. pole axes, spears, huge knives and many
, other death dealing instruments.
t "Although I was taken flat aback by
. the sight, some instinct carried me for-
I ward sword in hand, looking to the right
; and left with a cool, staring eye, whih
seemed to curb the revengeful spirit of
I the natives.
-I "On arriving at the other end of the
defile 1 stopped, turned round, saw all the
. men safely through, and then told them
in unmistakable English to make a clean
! pair of heels for the ship, while 1 brought
j up the rear at a sharp pace as soon as 1
I had got a little way from the entrance of
! the pass, so that the natives might not
j see us in too great a hurry,
i "How they let us through without
, touching a hair of our heads or once
making a motion toward ns passes my
! comprehension.'
i '
Letters That Never Came.
They tell a funny story of a man who
rented a box in the postofiice awhile ago.
He appears to have been new to the
business and failed to get the hang of
the thing. After a month or so he called
on one of the postofiice officials and be
gan to kick about the box. "The blamed
thing never had any mail in it," was his
complaint
I "I have looked in that box every day"
; since 1 rented it and it hasn't had a thing
j in it the whole time: I even addressed a
I letter to myself and never heard from it."
j . The two took a look at the . box and
I the postofiice man inquired if the box
renter had" ever opened his box Why,
no; of course not. Couldn't he see that
there wasn't anything in it. -i
Of course it turned out that he had
j forgotten the number of his box though
j it was on his- receipt, and had been
. watching and swearing over an nnrented
one. He found a stock of mail in his
! box at last and went away feeling small
enough to crowd inside of it. Buffalo
i Express.
The Wooden Indian.
j 1 used to live in Spain, and after
j ward in the West Indies, before I came
to the States. 1 met the wooden Indian
long before 1 came to this country. 1
have been asked before where the wooden
Indian got his start. I only know what
1 have heard about him in the Old
World. ' There was an adventurer
named Rutz who left his old city, Bar
celona, and came to Virginia 300 years
ago. When he returned he executed
the wooden Indian in a rude way, as a
type of the sort of animal he had met in
the New World, and the figure was set
up in front of a shop where wine was
sold. Finally it became a sort of trade
mark. There were smokers in those
days and they assembled around the In
dian. And the wooden Indjan is now.
seen in front of nearly every cigar store.
Interview in Chicago Tribune.
Waited Until the Child Was Safe.
An interesting little war story has
Governor Jones, of Alabama, for its
hero. At the time Gordon was resisting
Sherman's advance, Jones, then a staff
captain, was delivering a message from
his chief when he saw a little child, clad
only in night clothes, hiding in terror
behind a frame house in the direct range
of the bullets from each army. Jones
rode forward, took the child on his horse
"and galloped back with her. to the Con
federate line. When the Union forces
saw the act they ceased firing, and there
was an impromptu cessation of hostili
ties until the child had been carried to a
point of safety. Charleston News and
Courier. " "
Thieves Trust in Fortune Tellers.
The thief has implicit reliance in .the
foreknowledge claimed by gypsies and
other people, and he has been known to
pay blackmail to professed exponents of
the "black art" who threatened him with
all manner of perils. Exchange.
His Error. -
Husband Thank heaven I am not at
other men
Wife Yon are mistaken there. It is
they who should be thankful. Detroit
Free Press. : -
A Street Magician.
The followiug account of an amusing
adventure- is vouched for by the highly
respectable gentleman to whom the in
cident occurred.' ... "1 was walking down
one of the principal streets of San Fran
cisco on a windy afternoon, when a sud
den gust of wind lifted my high silk hat
(for 1 had been making some visits and
was clothed in my best) and sent it spin
ning down the street. Of course I started
at once in pursuit": but before 1 could
reach it my unfortunate tile was picked
np by a gentlemanly looking person who
was apparently about to return it to me
with a bow, when he' suddenly ex
claimed, "I beg yonr pardon, allow me?"
Had he drew out of my hat a cabbage.
- " 'This is very odd,' he continued, as
the half dozen idlers .who had been
watching the proceedings drew near,
"but really, my dear sir' drawing out
a bunch of carrots 'this must be very
uncomfortable' extracting half a dozen
bjg beets 'and you' cannot surely put
such things as these on your: head,' and
he held , up, amid the laughter of the
crowd, a rabbit, who kicked violently as
he was held aloft by 'the ears. Rather
annoyed at the publicity of the enter
tainment, I finally succeeded in captur
ing my hat, and the magician, followed
by a small crowd, took his way np the
street ready -to play his tricks upon any
other likely subject." New York Trib-
Twlns Nine Times Without a Skip.
Mr. John Miscall," who is one of - the
head bakers in James Reed & Sons'
bakery, Norfolk, Va., has been made the
proud possessor of the ninth consecutive
pair of healthy and strong twins, a boy
and a girl. Mrs. Miscall has- never
given birth to one child at a time. Cor.
Baltimore American.
Just
24:.
In just 2i hours 3. V. 8. relieves constipation
and sick headaches. After it gets the system
under control an occasional dose prevents return.
We refer by permission to W. HvMarshall, Bruns
wick House, 8. F.; Geo. A.Werner, 531 California
Bt., 8.F.; Mrs. C. Melvin, 138 Kearny St., S. F.,
and many others who have found relief from
constipation and sick headaches. G.W. Vincent,
of 6 Terrence Court, 8. F. writes: "1 am 60 years
of age and have been troubled with constipation
for 25 years. I was recently Induced to try Joy's
Vegetable Sarsaparilla. I recoguized in it at
once an herb that the Mexicans vised to give us
In the early 60's for bowel troubles. (I came to
California in 1839.) and I knew it would help me
and it has. For the first time in years I can sleep
well and my system is regular and in splendid
condition. The old Mexican herbs in this remedy
are a certain cure in constipation and bowel
troubles." Ask for
Joy
S Vegetable
Sarsaparilla
For Sale by SNIPES& KINERSLY
THE DALLES. OREGON.
1-7 GRIPPE
'. CUKED
By using 8. B. Headache and Liver Cure, aud S.
B. Cough Cure as directed for colds. They were
STJOOESSPTJIjIjY
used two years ago during the La Grippe epi
demic, and very tiotteiinn testimonials ol their
power over that disease are at band. Manufact
ured by the 8. B. Meflicine Mfg. Co., at Dufur,
uicgvu. . r or suie uy mi uru ggisis.
A Severe Law.
The English peo
ple look more closely
'to -the genuineness
xw
of these staples than
we do. In fact, they
have a law under
'which they make
seizures and de
etroy adulterated
products that are
cot what they are represented to be. Under -this
statue,thouands of pounds of tea hare
Lceu burned because of their wholesale adul
teration.,.. ,
Tea, by the way, is one of the most notori
ously adulterated articles of commerce. Not
alone are tho brijrht, shiny green teas artifi
cially, colored, but thousands of pounds of
subriiutM fnr tea leaves are used to swell
the bulk of cheap teas; oeh, jloe, aud willow
leaves beiaff those most commonly used.
Aguiu, sweepings fr. m tea warehouses are
colored and sold as tea. j;ven exhautcd tea
leaves gathered from the tea-hpnses are kept,
dried, and lnadeovernnd find ih-At way into
the cheap teas.' .
The English govi rriinont nt'ciopta to damp
hi cut by co:iS.va;i n: but no tea is too
poor for u, and the re-.;lt I?, that probably
the poort:t tcasu&cd by any nation are those
consumed in America.'
- Beech's Tea is presented with the guar
anty that it is u-icolored and unadulterated;
In fact, the sun-cureu tea leaf pure and sim
ple. Its purity insures superior strength,
about one third less of it being required for
an infusion than of the anineial teas, and its
fragrance and exquisite flavor is at once ap
parent. It will be a revelation to yon. In
order that Its purity and quality may be guar
anteed. It ia sold only in pound packages
bearing this trade-mark: -
BEEC
'Pure AsWdhoarj J
Mm Me per poind. For sale at
H,L TEA
V?V OT SI SSBBW K
Xieiallo Sutler
THE DA1LE8, OEBGOH.
Trie Dalies
IS
Of the Leading City
During the little over
has earnestly tried to fulfill the objects for which it
was founded, namely, to assist in developing our
industries, to advertise the resources of the city and
adjacent country and to work for an open river to
the sea. Its record is before the people an-i the
phenbmenal support it has received is accepted tis the
expression of their approval. Independent in every
thing, neutral "in nothing, it will live only to fight
for what it believes to be just and risht.
Commencing with the first number of the second
v'clume the weekly-has been enlarged to eight pages
while the price ($1.50 a year) remains the same.
Thus both the weekly and daily editions contain
moi'e reading matter for less money than any paper
published in the county.
GET YOUK
DONE
TH
E CHROHICLE 1
BooK aiM Job priptir
Done on Short Notice!
LIGHT BINDING
Address all Mail Orders to
Chtoniele
THE DALLES,
tiiironicie
of Eastern Oregon. :
a year of its existence it
PRINTING
AT
NEATLY DONE,
Pub; Co.,
OREGON.
Room.
4