'" ProMl mt th Climate . !
Cbcusin John and bis wife were visit- !
Ins relatives in the west. -: It was their
first trip to that part of the country, and i
.they listened respectfully and admiring- !
ly to the descriptions of the climate i
given by their western host. -'
There's nothing like it hi the.vworld. i
Why, we have days and weeks here '
without any moisture at night; We Bit
Tight out on our lawn until 10 o'clock
and never think of taking cold. ' We
don't have fog in the morning the way
yon do back in New England, either.
Clear, bracing air and dry for" an hour
before sunrise. And then people talk
about the wind in some parts. of the
west. 1 never saw any wind to com
pare with the east wind on Boston Com
mon.' The beauty of this climate,
though, is its dry, cool, bracing atmos
phere. It-beats the world. .. " Yes, sir,"
this is the paradise for. people suffering
from lung or throat trouble." - -
- The next morning the visitors awoke
and looked out of their window. A fog,
r something very much like a fog, such
as they were familiar with "down east,"
held possession- of the country, and they
could see nothing of the scenery. ;
They went down to breakfast, and the
hot apologized for. the weather: it was '
the first' fog he had seen for two years,
be assured them, and it would lift in an
hour or two.
Sure enough, it did lift, and before
night it was blowing a gale. The sever
est -wind that the "oldest inhabitant"
could recollect set in and lasted three
days. Several houses were unroofed and
considerable damage was done to grow
ing crops.
. During the visitors' stay several very
severe rainstorms occurred. Only one
iw two evenings were dry enough to per
mit sitting "on the lawn." Cousin
John . was. afflicted nearly the whole
time with a hacking congh, and his wife
caught cold in the head from sitting on
the veranda after sunset. . .
" The host was disgusted. "Catch me
- bragging again about the climate! It's
as dangerous as trying to have a child
"show off.' It's sure to do just what you
don't want it to. After this 1 don't say
anything about our weather!" Youth's
Companion.
Self Puttttued. -
Two ladies and an invalid boy who
was carried' on a stretcher were the
last passengers on the gang pjank of a
river steamer. The boy and one of the
ladies were successfully embarked, and
the other lady was crossing the plank,
which was loose and partially drawn in,
when'it tipped and plunged her into the
river. Several young men on the boat
hastily removed their coats and wera
; jnsj ready to leap into the water, when
fclio came up smiling, holding fast !to her
bag and umbrella. ' '
! i''N6w don't any oue jump in after
me," she called to -the excited passen
gers; "I'm all right, and will float until
my clothes become soaked with w.ater.
.Just throw me a rope. There's no ne
cessity for any one else to get wet." . .
The rope was thrown to her and she
grasped it with one hand and was drawn
to the side of the steamer, when she
said: " ,-
"Now some one lie flat on the deck
and reach down and take my bag and
umbrella, and then help me out."
A young man followed her instruc
tions and she was soon standing safe on
the deck. -
Requesting a porter to take her trunk
fmmuliat.l r n n 1. -.4.- .3
J W C DMIW1W1U, BWJ AOIITOU,
and in a few minutes returned dry clad
' and cheerful to receive the congratula
tions of her fellow passengers, and to re
lieve the alarm of her lady friend, who
had promptly fainted at sight of the ac
cident. Washington Republic.
Polly's Command to Her Father.
The followiug extract from "Madame
Knight's . Journal," writteu ; in 1725,
shows that children were much the same
at that time as they are now:
Thursday, about- 3 in the afternoon,
I set forward with neighbor Polly, a
. girl about eighteen years, who- , her fa-
iner saui ne Htm been to fetch out of the
Narragansetts, and said they had rode
; thirty, miles that day on a sorry lean
horse with only a Baiijr under hei for a
pillion, which the poor Girl often com
plained of. ' "
Abftut 7 that eveniug we came to
- New London Ferry. Here, by reasoa of
- a very high wind, we mett with great
difficulty in getting over;
The boat tost exceedingly, and our
Horses cappered at a very Surprising
rate, and set via all in a fright, especially
poor Polly, who desired her father to
say "So Jack" to the horse to make him
stand.
But the careless parent, taking no
notice of her repeated desires, She Rored
out in a Passionate manner, "Pray, Suth,
father, Are you deaf? Say 'So Jack'
to the horse I tell yon."
The Dutiful Parent obeyed saying
"So Jack, So Jack," as gravely as if he
had bin saying Chatchise after young
Miss, who with her frightJook't all the
Colours of ye Rainbow. '
Working for a Wife.
An infinite amount of trouble has a
youth of the Philippines ere he is allowed
to take a wife to his bosom. After the
parents on both sides have come to terms
the young gentleman has to work for his
intended father-in-law for a certain time,
"' very often for four years, and sometimes
longer. During this time he must mind
his p's and q's, for if he does anything
wrong he is instantly discarded. Very
, frequently unscrupulous fathers make a
- practice of dismissing their daughters'
young men on the merest pretense, thus
enriching themselves )py their gratuitous
labor. San Francisco Examiner. .
Wnat Makes Hair Cnrly.
The difference between straight and
curly hair is very apparent on a micro
scopical examination.
A hair is a hollow tube, and a straight
hair is as round as a reed, while a curly
hair is always flattened on both sides
and curls toward one of the flat sides,
never toward the edge. It is a curious
and little known fact that the hair of
women is coarser than that of men, as
well as thicker on the scalp. National
Barber.
CO-OPERATIVE YACHTING.
An Eng-iub Method or ntiin( witnoet
Baying an Expensive Boat."
It is becoming more and more popular
every year- in England for steamers to
go out with passengers bound on a regu-
lar yachting -cruise. . .In summerthey go
cruising up among the fiords of Norway
and visit the North cape.. In winter
they go to the Mediteranean or the West
Indies.. Adot of .people on pleasure bent
engage passage and have all the pleasure
f a cruise on a steam yacht without the
trouble" and expense of owning one.
Richard J. Goodwin, a retired mer
chant of this city, who has made a trip
en one of these vessels to the North cape,
said in conversation with a reporter re
cently: "I was delighted with my'iex
perience, and don't know of a better way
to spend an outing.' Captain R. D. LrrrK
ham was the pioneer in this service. He
commanded the British steamer Ceylon,
and ran her with great success on various
pleasure cruises to Norway, the Baltic
and the Mediterranean. He then pur
chased the . steamer Victoria. She is a
beautiful -vessel-of over 1,800 tons and
fitted up like the most luxurious of pri
vate yachts. " Her saloons are -paneled
in different -colored marbles, and she is
lighted with? electric lights. In'- fact
nothing could exceed the beauty and
elegance of the Victoria's fittings. I was
so much pleased with her when I went
on board to inspect her that I engaged
passage at once.
"There were sixty-eight passengers on
board when we left the Tilbury docks,
below London, for our twenty-five days'
cruise to Norwegian fiords and the Cape
of the Midnight Sun. Nearly all of the
passengers were English, but we had
three of four from Brooklyn and New
York. We left the Thames on June 27,
and at 6 o'clock that night had cleared
the Nore and stood out into the North
sea. The wind and sea increased and
shook ns up somewhat, and the next day
it blew almost a gale. Most of the pas
sengers put in an " appearance at the
breakfast table, however. As the day
wore on the sea and wind continued to
increase, and many of the passengers
sought the seclusion which their state
rooms granted. By noon of June 29 we
ran into smooth water again and were
able to make an acquaintance with each i
other. A pleasant party it proved to be. j
" We reached the Norwegian coast that j
day at the little village of Scudesnaes, a j
quaint old Norwegian place, where a
government officer came on board and j
remained with us for the rest of the"!
cruise, which was through sheltered !
passages up the coast. After leaving
Scudesnaes we eutered the Fiord Har
danger, and by 0 o'clock the next rnorn
ing anchored -in the charming bay of
Odde, surrounded' with snow capped
hills. "We remained here thirty-six hours,'
our steani laiieich making frequent trips
to the shore, so we had a chance thor
oughly to iuspeet the town.
"From Odde we ran up through a lonir
! line of fiords, seeing on every hand the
grand Norwegian scenery, until we fin
ally arrived at the North cape,- and from
its stern heights beheld the midnight
sun. It was a trip I never can forget,
and one of the most satisfactory in every
respect which I ever made. .- It was not
an expensive trip either. In fact, I re
gard such a trip as the perfection of eco
nomical enjoyment.
"The expense of such a trip as I have de
scribed is about ten dollars a day, which
cannot be considered large considering
the accommodations offered and the lux
ury in which one travels." New York
Tribune. -
Slur Found Him Out. j
A couple of Erin's sons were taking !
their noonday rest on Court street Fri j
day, and 1 heard one of them ask - his j
companion: ' j
"How is it, Mike, that yez don't spend j
the money that yez used t' ?" ;
Mike ejected about a quart of tobacco
jni-e from- between his lips and replied;
"Well, Denny. I'll tell yez. Ya sees,
I got me sixteen dollars ivery week, an, 1
used to tell the old lady that . I was only
gettin tin dollars. 1 usty put tin dollars
in wan pocket for the old lady an the
other six in me other pocket for meself,
J... -j ixr-.ii -i i. i. - ,
ecr i eu, nuuui mree weens ago,
sure. 1 forgot to separate the money, an
when 1 got home I handed the old lady
the whole sixteen dollars. A little whoile
after she sez t me:
" 'How much did yez make this week,
Moike?"
. " 'Tin tlollars,' sez Oi.
" 'Th six dollars,' sez she.
"An thin it kem t' me all in a minute,
an I sez: "Oil, he must ha' med a mistake
an given me some wan else's money.
Give it here ,'t me ah H tek it back t'
him agin.' But the divil a penny would
she gimme, an the very next day she
kim down t see th boss. Of course she
found out that I was makin me sixteen
dollars a week, an now 1 have to give
her ivery cent." .
And then the boss came along and or
dered them to go to work before Denny
had a chance to convey his sympathy.
Brooklyn Citizen.
v Abbreviations In Letter.
Emerson said that "in a letter any ex
pressions may be abbreviated rather
than those of respect and kindness;'
never write 'Yours affly.' " But, be it
said with all respect, this smacks of ped
antry. The close of a letter is mere for
mula, and is precisely that part which,
in writing to a friend, may without risk
of misunderstanding be cut short or dis
pensed with. But no haste or degree of
familiarity excuses careless expressions
in the letter itself. Written words stand"
by themselves; the tone of the voice and
the glance of the eye. which often con
vey more than half the meaning, are not
there as footnotes; many and many an
unintentional sting has been planted by
a clumsy phrase-or halting expression.
The same principle holds good in con
versation. Blackwood's Magazine.
- - He Wanted to Keep Sunday.
Mrs. Gazzam (as she came in from
church) Sometimes it is very hard work
to listen to Dr. Thirdly's sermons.
Gazzam That's the reason I don't gc
to church. - I don't believe in working on
Sunday. --Harper's Bazar. -
A; BRAZEN DEADHEAD.
As Es(llikmM Seem-ed . a .Box In b
Tn eaten but Did Not See the Show.
. ' Soon . after, the doors opened a good
looking young " fellow in evening dress
came up to me as I was standing in the
lobby and" asked me what box had been
reserved for him, : I said -I did not know
him who was he? ' He said he had met
the manager of tho theater that after
noon, and he had been, told to come to
the theater and his name would be left
for a box. : .-, . " ; '-'
Unfortunately - he entered too much
into details. He told me that his name
was Leslie, and he was a leader writer
and subeditor of The Morning Wire. As
I knew my manager was rather in the
habit of giving these somewhat vague
invitations to the theater, I thought it
better to err on the side of politeness, so
I gave Mr, Leslie the ticket for the box,
and he thanked me and said he would
go to a'' neighboring restaurant where
his friends were dining and bring them
on to the theater. - . '--.-.:. .......
1 As the principal piece was commenc
ing! saw Mr. Leslie enter the theater
and go to his box accompanied by a
.well dressed party two ladies and a
gentleman. I thought nothing more of
this, but about 10 o'clock who: should
come into my room but the son of the
proprietor of The Morning Wire on his
way from the office. Of an evening he
sometimes used to drop into my room
and have a chat with me. While talk
ing with him 1 suddenly thought of Mr.
Leslie up in a box, so I asked my friend
if he knew the leader writer and subed
itor. 1 was rather astonished when 1
heard there was no such name on The
Morning. Wire, but to make assurance
doubly sure 1 took my friend into the
theater and pointed Mr. Leslie out to
him. All knowledge of Mr. Leslie was
denied, and "my friend wanted to" give
the impostor in charge at once, but I
asked him to be quiet and sit still in my
room while I sent a note up to. Mr. Lea-"
lie, asking him to come and have'a cig
arette. - After the curtain was down Mr. Leslie
walked in as bold as brass, lighted a
cigarette, and prepared for a chat; my
friend 1 could see was being consumed
by inward temper, but luckily held his
tongue. After some general conversa
tion I asked him how the proprietor of
The Morning Wire was, and after other
questions 1 asked him if he knew his son
(my friend sitting fuming in an arm
chair). . "Oh, yes," said Mr. Leslie; -"great pal
of mine; often dine with him; only left
him about an hour ago."
"You liar! you swindler!" shouted my
friend, unable to resist . the temptation.
He could keep quiet no longer; he flew
into the most violent temper, calling Mr.
Leslie every name he could lay his
tongue to, and wanting to give him in
charge at once. To see 'Leslie cower
down, beg, pray, offer every apology,
was indeed a sad sight.
After we had kept him in agony some
time I gave directions that he should not
be allowed to return to his box, but po
litely and firmly shown out of the theater.
It seemed that he was the son of a doc
tor m very fair practice in the south of
London, and he confessed that he had
been successful at several theaters, but
after the shock we gave him I do not
think it at all likely he ever tried again to
get a box "on the cheap." Interview in
London Tit-Bits.
Japanese Doctors.
A Japanese doctor never dreams of
asking a poor patient for a fee. There
is a proverb among the medical frater
nity of Japan, "When the twin enemies,
poverty and disease, invade a home, then
he who takes aught from that home,
even thongh it be given him, is a rob
ber." '
"Often," said Dr. Matsumoto, "a doc
tor will not only give his. time and his
medicines freely to the sufferer, but he
will also give him money to tide over his
dire necessities. Every physician has hid
own dispensary, and there are very few
apothecary shops in the empire.
"When a rich man calls in a physi
cian he does not expect to be presented
with a bill for medical services. - In
fact, no such thing as a doctor's bill is
known in Japan, although nearly all the
other modern practices are in vogue
there. The doctor never asks for his
fee. " - .
. "The strict honesty of tile people
makes this unnecessary. When he is
through with a patient a present is
made to him of whatever sum the pa
tient Or his friends may deem to be just
compensation. The doctor is supposed
to smile, take the fee, bow and thank his'
patron." San Francisco Chronicle. .
Mistaken Identity.
A man who had evidently arrived by I
the train walked into a boarding house
in a Texas town and asked: -
"Is Mr. Day in?' - "
"What Day, sah?" asked the porter.
"What do 1 know about him? Do I
look like a detective? If Mr. Day isn't
in, tell Mr. Week to step out here."
"What week do you refer to, sah?"
"Oh, last week or week before Christ
mas I Do you take me for an almanac?
Who runs this shebang, anyhow?"
"De Widow Flapjack, sah."
"Well, then, you tell her to take down :
her sign. I read on the sign out there,
'Boarding by Day or Week,' and pow it
seems that both of 'em lit out. That
sign is put up there to deceive the trav
eling public, i don't believe there are
any such people living," and he picked
np his gripsack and swung himself on
board of a street car. Texas Sif tings. '
Literature Didn't Start Them.
Eastern Man Yes, sir, it's a shame
the way this sensational juvenile litera
ture is turning the heads of boys and
sending them west to fight Indians.
Western Man Did you ever meet any
Indian fighters? ' -
"No. Why?" .
"Nothing. Only most of them can't
read." Good News. '
Baron Arthur Rothschild, a nephew of
the head of the great financial house, is
serving his twelve months in the French
army as a private soldier. . -
- Lived In a Crypt Tweoty-elj-ht Years.
" Robert Davidson,' who - for- twenty-'
eight years lived in the crypt of the
Westminster . Presbyterian church, at
Baltimore, is dead. . He , was born in
Ireland in 1811, and came to' America
early in life. Some years before the
war he became sexton of Westminster
church. " He fitted up a - room in a
humble way among the ' graves and
tombs beneath the church, and since
1863 he lived there in a hermitlike way.
He was extremely reticent in regard to
his. history, and would, never give any
explanation as to how he .came to choose
such a place as a dwelling place. Phila
delphia Ledger.' " - .
- ,' Shot tho Dummy.' ,
- James Toles.-a well to do colored man,
near Plain City, O., was awakened a few
nights ago by the unusual barking and
snarling of his dog, and going to the
door with his shotgun fired at the figure
of a man standing near one of several
apple trees on Which Ms Thanksgiving
turkeys were roosting. The figure fell
to the ground, and Toles, cautiously go
ing forward, found it to. be a dummy,
made with old clothes stuffed with straw.
In the meantime thieves had carried
away seven fat gobblers. Exchange. .
:" Discing- for Buried Treasure.
A tradition exists about English, InrL,
that the Wyandottes buried treasures of
gold and silver which they stole from
the early-missionaries and other parties
in that neighborhood, and occasionally
the treasure hunters become a plague.
One of these fevers is now "on," and as
the country is underlaid with iron, the
divining rods are leading the owners to
dig, until some of the fields look like
newly planted ' graveyards. Philadel
phia Ledger. "
SICK
Head
Aches. . SieU-heudiicihes are the outuarj Indications ol
tl.Tiuu'-Mncnts of the stomach and bowels. As
Jyn Vegetablo Sarsaparilla Is the only bowel
re;; l.-uing preparation of Sarsaparilla, it Is seen
y.-hy it is tho only appropriate Sarsaparilla in
;'!:-. :rudaehcs.-. Ic Is not only appropriate; it Is
iri i:!j.-iV.ite cure.- After a course of it an occa-
so:til fluent intervals will forever after prevent
return. -.'"-,.'
.hut. -ft. Cox, of 73o Turk Street, Snu Francisco,
write: " I liuvc teen troubled with attacks of
tii-k-hcailaebc for the last three years from one to
threetimes a week. Some lime ago I bought two
bottles f Joy's Vegetable ireaparilla and have
iinly l;ul one ultuek since and that was on the
oi-ou I 'day after I beja'i le-ing it."
Jnu'Q Vegetable
Uy w Sarsaparilla
For Sale by SNIPES &. KINERSLY
THE DALLES, OKKOON. - -
By using S. B. Headache and Liver Cure, and 8.
B. Cough Cure as directed for colds. They were
STJOCZ:SSX,TJXjjS'
used two years ago during the La Grippe epi
demic, and very nattering testimonials of their
power over that disease are at band. Manufact
ured by the 8. B. Medicine 51 fg. Co., at Dufur,
Oregon. For sale by all druggists.
A Severe Law.
' The English peo
ple look more closely
'to the genuineness
of these staples than
we do. In fact, they
have a law under
'which they make
seizure and de
stroy adulterated
products that are
not what they are represented to be. Under
this statute thousands of pounds of tea have
"been burned because of their wholesale adul
teratlon. . -
Tea, by the way, is one of the most notori
ously adulterated articles of commerce. Not
. alone are the bright, shiny green teas artifl-
dally colored, but thousands of pounds of
ubstl:ute for tea leaves are used to swell .
the bulk of cheap teas; ash, sloe and willow
leaves belnir those most commonly used.
Agaiit, sweepings from tea warehouses are
colored and sold as t-.-a. Even exhausted tea -leaves
gathered from I hctcn-hausea are kept,
dried, and made over and find their way into
tuechcap leas. " ' . - . ' .
Tho English government af.einpts to stamp
-this out by roufisrati.m; but rfr tea is too
poor lor ur, and the result i, that probably
the poorest teas used by any nation are those -Consumed
iu America.
Beech's Tea Is presented with the guar
anty that It is uucolored and unadulterated;
- in fact, the sun-eurea tea leaf pare and sim
ple. Its purity insures .superior strength,
about one third less of it being required foi
an Infusion than of thea-tifieial teas, and Its
fragrance and exquisite flavor Is at once ap
parent. It will be a revelation to you. In
order that its purity and quality may be guar
anteed, it is sold only in pound package
'bearing' this trade-mark :
BEEC
I-K GRIPPE
5
- cnxizro
SUM
TarcAsWdhood:
. Price 0o par pound. For sale at .
Zieslle Butler's,
THJt DAILES, ORSaOK.
Dalles
Qf4he Leading City
During the little over
The
has earnestly tried to fullfil the objects for which it
-was founded, namely, to assist in developing our
industries, to advertise the resources of the city and
adjacent country and to work for an open river to
the sea. Its record is before the people an the
phenomenal support it has received is accented as tha
expression of their approval. Independent in every
thing, neutral in nothing, it will live only to fight
for what it believes to be just and ri j ht. .
Commencing with the first number of the second
vc lume the weekly has been enlarged to eight pages
while the price ($1.50 a year) remains the same.
Thus both the weekly and daily editions contain
moie reading matter for less money than any paper
published in the county..
GET YOUH
DONE AT
THE CWIICLE JOB B0BD.
BooK apd job priptip
Done on
LIGHT BINDING
Address all Mail Orders to
Chtfoniele
THE DALLES,
:'.-.; -ft ry.i"-' '-.;''- 7 "' :: - ;"
CHionicie
of Eastern Oregon.
a year of its existence it
PRlNTIflG
Short Notice.
NEATLY DONE.
Pub. Co.,
OREGON.