- .1
POLITICAL PARASITES.
THE "STRIKER," THE "WHEELER"
AND THE "HEELER."
Descriptive Noon That Most Local
. Statesmen in nig Cities Understand
Distinctive Peculiarities of Each Vari
ety AboTe Them Is the Voter.
The vocabulary of politicians is not
frequently enriched by additions of any
very striking sort, for the reason, very
probably, that local leaders are much
snore likely to quote the expressive
phraseology of others than to originate
any of their own. So when in giving
his testimony at one of the boodle trials,
Alderman Michael Duffy, known prior
to that as "the mayor of Harlem," used
. the term "a combine" with the accent
on the com to describe a corrupt alli
ance between public officials having leg-
the politicians' vocabulary and the term
lias endured, in frequent use, since.
There are, however, some nouns of de
scription which all local politicians un
derstand, even if no one else does. Here
: are a few: '
A "striker'' is a full fledged or would
be elector who seeks some pecuniary re
turn as the condition of giving his sun
port to a candidate or party. . The basis
of his demand is that if his terms are
refused he will work for the other side.
Usually the "strike" is sugar coated;
under guise of ball, picnic or excursion
tickets offered for sale just before elec
tion, or of the membership of a target
company or a social club, or a subscrip
tion for an alleged destitute person, or a
chance at a raffle. The distinctive pe
culiarity of the striker is that he is with
out power or influence. He deceives
only the weak kneed or uninitiated.
Strikers, like wolves, usually go in
pairs never alone.
A "wheeler" is, in politicians' par
lance, an elector whose identification
with a party is due to pecuniary reasons
and 'wholly disconnected with any prin
ciple, 1 The "wheeler" is a grade above
the "striker," because he has usually
some influence, and those who pay him
get, therefore, some return, whereas in
the case of the "striker" they "are, to use
a Bowery phrase, "flat bunkoed." The
"wheeler" does not remain on the same
side of the political house two years in
succession, lest through close identifica
tion with it he might come to be regard
ed as a regular member, and thus out of
reckoning as a purchasable agent.
A "rooter" is a follower of a party or
candidate on behalf of whom or which
his loyalty and enthusiasm is shown
whenever required. He gives and can
give no .reason for his support other
than the fact that he is with his cham
pion "through thick and thin." He
hqlds usually some small place and there
is no discount upon his effusive devotion,
extending, as it does at times, to deeds
of violence and even to those of a crim
inal character. The "rooter" does what
he is told and does it with great energy
and in a loud tone of voice.
THE "HEELER'S" FORMES BUSINESS.
A "capper" in the field of politics is the
subsidized eulogist of a local statesman
who is rich in means but spare in fame.
The chief dutv of the "ranwr" i to re
tail in touching accents and in forcible
and picturesque language the kindly and
beneficent actions of his chief. He gets
tor this a regular weekly salary, and his
ordinary formula in a crowded barroom
or on a street corner is about this: "You
all think that the old man is mean,
small, selfish and only looking out for
himself. You never made a bigger mis
take in your life. Why, in my presence,
only this morning, I saw him distribute
$300 among a score of poor persons, -asking
only of each of them one thing, that
they would never mention it to a living
oul. I suppose he will be dead sore at
me if he hears that I have told this, but
Fve got to stand up for what is just and
Tight, even if it is my ruin."
A "heeler" is the follower and attend
ant of some boss or . subchieftain whom
be accompanies on all missions or excur--sions
of peril or importance. He is not
enthusiastic like the "rooter" and has
none of the intellectual accomplishments
of the "capper," but he is invariably on
band when needed for a convention, a
primary or an outing, and no instance is
known of a "heeler" enjoying anything
bat the most robust health on election
day, even though on other occasions his
complex as others of the average of hu
manity. In the old days of repeating
and ballot box stuffing, before a registry
law was enacted, the prime duty of the
"heeler" was to vote early and often.
ABOVE THEM ALL, THE VOTER.
A "hooker" is a constitutionally impe
cunious person, who believes that the
living which the world owes him, and
which the world withholds, can and
should be secured in the troubled fields
of politics. He regards, therefore, every
candidate, leader, ward worker and mu
nicipal statesman as his debtor,.and loses
no opportunity to enforce small loans
ranging in amount from a dime to a dol
lar. He uses no threats like the 'striker,"
and makes no promises like the "wheel
er," but regards himself as a privileged
character and the candidate as his ap
propriate prey. It not infrequently hap
pens that one of the results of the
"hooker's" persistence is his failure to
register, the consequence of which neg
lect is that heis unable to vote, and thus
all the financial aid and comfort given
him is entirely thrown away.
The list of personages indigenous, as
it were, to the field of local politics
might be still further extended, but
when the "striker," the "wheeler," the
"rooter," the "capper," the "heeler" and
the "hooker" have been 'told 'about, the
subject in its plainer aspect has been
r very nearly exhausted. For above all
these is the one man whose influence out
weighs all the others the voter who,
and who onlv. determines elections, a TV-
proves or rejects movements and policies,
indorses or rebukes the action of the
public servants, and maintains intact
and entire the system of representative,
popular government, which the others
named would threaten if they had the
' power to assail it New York World.
Hla Sight Was Telescopic
The official of a leading railway com
pany tells a good story about one of the
engine drivers of his line. . The engine
driver was growing old, and frequent
reports- were made to the directors that
his eyesight was not as good as it should
be. This the old man stoutly 'denied,
but nevertheless there is every reason
to believe that his eyes were getting a
trifle dim. However, he stoutly main
tained that his eyes were not only strong,
but phenomenally strong, and thSt these
criticisms were made by jealous fellow
engine drivers.
The test for eyesight on that line was
mode by a doctor who lived in a. house
facing a large common. - When he wished
to test the men's eyes he used to say,
"Look over there and see what you can
ee." This fact had got known to the
employees of the railway, and when the
old engine driver was going to be ex
amined he arranged with his son that he
should take his bicycle about half a mile
across the common and stoop down and
oil it. v '
In due course the old engine driver was
led to the window and the doctor said,
as usual, "What can you see?"
The old man peered out and said:
"Well, I see a young man stoopipg
down beside a bicycle." .
"Do you?" replied the doctor; "I can
not see anything at all." :
"Gammon!" said the . engine ' driver;
"can't you see it? Why, he's oiling it."
On this the doctor took up a pair of
field glasses on the table and looking
out behind quite plainly saw a young
man stooping down oiling his bicycle:
"Magnificent sight!" he said; "mag
nificent!" and to this day the engine
driver is taking his forty shillings a
week with striking .regularity. Ex
change. .
How a Man Acts in a Woman's Company.
"My office is nearly opposite a popular
down town restaurant, the upper floor
of which is reserved for ladies or gentle
men accompanied by ladies," said a
young aspirant for legal honors the other
day at the Lawyers' club.
"The view from my window, however,
allows me to see only one person seated
at any of the three tables near the win
dow, and that fact has enabled me to
have lots of fun, and at the same time
gives me a first rate chance to study my"
fellow man in the presence of a girl of
whom he thinks enough to invite her out
to luncheon.
"In a fortnight 1 got so I could tell in
a nrbment whether any man of whom I
could catch a glimpse at a table had as
his vis-a-vis another man or a woman.
"How did I do it? Oh, it was easily
enough divined. If there were two men
the one I could see would act perfectly
naturally. But if there were a woman
on the other side of the table things
were very much changed. -The fellow
in my view would conduct himself en
tirely differently from the one with his
chum along. His interest in the curl of.
his mustache would be increased ten
fold, and every now and then he would
suspend operations in the eating line to
cast a killing look at his fair companion.
"In fact, under such conditions, I
found that the whole manner and pose
of nine men out of ten became at once
absurdly unnatural and self conscious,
anc their efforts to please, from my point
of view, invariably became most amus
ing." New York Herald.
Doctrine of Malthas and the food Supply.
The doctrine of Malthus regarding the
future food supply of the world and the
ultimate starvation of a portion of the
race has been greatly misrepresented,
but even the most favorable interpreta
tion is a gloomy one. Briefly stated, the
theory is that population increases in a
geometrical and food supply in an arith
metical ratio; and hence the time must
come when there will not be food enough.
Perhaps the simplest and -most correct
reply to this theory is that the assump
tion that the race increases and will con
tinue to increase in geometrical ratio is
not borne out by observed facts. The
theory that the food supply increases in
only arithmetical ratio, and must ulti
mately reach its limit, is doubtless nearer
the truth. But while there is a limit to
the possible production of food, it tran
scends all the ideas that ever occurred to
Malthus or to the people of his time.
It has always been assumed that the
capacity of the soil to produce plants is
measured by what is popularly called its
fertility that is to say, the amount of
production possible under ordinary con
ditions of .culture. The science of to
day, however, shows this measure to be
incorrect, and the practice of agriculture
is already beginning to add its testimony
to the same effect. And remarkable as
is the story told in market gardening, fh
the reclaiming of the desert and in irri
gation, it is only the first chapter of a
tale the already attested wonders of
which almost rival those of the "Arabian
Nights." Professor Atwater in Century.
Tannins; Hldesi
Of late years there has been much talk
of tanning hides by electricity, 'and sev
eral methods have been tried, but with
indifferent success. There is no doubt,
however, but that electricity does greatly
aid in the tanning process. In the old
days of tanning, the hides, after being
dehaired and made ready, were placed
in the tan vats, and there allowed to re
main untouched and undisturbed for
from nine to twelve months, and in some
cases even longer, until the tannin in
the liquors, thoroughly uniting with the
hides, had converted them into leather!
But after a time it was discovered that
by putting the hides into a revolving
wheel or drum, which had first been par
tially filled with the tan liquors, the time
necessary to convert them into leather
was greatly shortened. New York Ad
vertiser. Dressed in Style.
Stage Bobber Hold up y'r hands!
Scared Passengers Yes, yes, yes, of
course.
. Bobber (gallantly) Beg pardon, lady;
you needn't hold yours up. Put 'em
down again.
Lady My hand3 are not up. Those
are my shoulder puffs. New. York
Weekly. '
". HOy THE ESKIMOS UVEA
They Are Uncivilized, but . They Can
Olve Points to many .a Civilian.
A very pleasant and openhearted peo
ple are these Cape York Eskimos. One
would expect to find them gloomy andn
unhappy, like the icy fastnesses of "their
native Greenland. Their frame of mind,
on the contrary, is very different. When
they first sighted the Kite from- their
hillside tents they gave her a joyous
greeting. "Kymol Kymo!" or some
thing resembling that word, they shouted
in hearty tones. They seemed to have
no fear that the visit; of strangers boded
them ill. ' -
All the time aboard the ship they were
smiling and laughing. These people
have never had any Christian teachings,
and almost the only white men they ever
see axe the whalers. Yet they are
scrupulously honest. In trading with
them members of the expedition passed
around among them needles, knives and
many articles as precious to them as
diamonds to an American. .Everything
was returned.
All the men aboard the ship who had
been whaling declared that no Yak had
ever .been known to take anything that
was' hot his. The whole forty-eight
people swarmed over the vessel for two
days and not a single article was missed.
It was very different in the Danish
settlements There everything' was tied
up or stowed below as soon as any Es
kimo came aboard.
There was only one thing that could
have been construed into theft at Cape
York. A Yak walked into the cook's
galley and. grabbed a piece of bacon
from the pan and devouredit. In their
settlements, however, the food appeared
to be common property a rule which
may prevail during prosperity. It was
noticed that they brought aboard birds
and blubber for sustenance while they
remained on the ship, hut it did not
seem to be the exclusive property of any
one. Whoever was hungry helped him
self. ' '.'
Looking at these Eskimos, who are en
tirely beyond the influence of civiliza
tion, who live, as one might say, "on
their own hook," one is tempted to ask
whether the Danish rule is such a bene
ficent thing for the Greenlacders far
ther south.- There does not seem to be
so much happiness in the latter quarter.
The only advantage possessed by the
Danish Eskimo is that he has a better
market for his goods. A few hundred
years of civilization have not done much
else for him, except to give him a liberal
strain of European blood.
What these Cape York Eskimos need
in a material way is wood, and per
haps guns and powder. ' Civilization can
do little else for them. No signs of a
rebellion could be saen, but they evi
dently have traditions, superstitions, and
perhaps a cod, for all their affairs are
well regulated.
Iu the uiob of forty-eight people, all
bargaining, there was no instance of an
Eskimo coveting any article secured
by one of his fellows, nor was there a
single dispute as to property. On no oc
casion, as far as seen, did any Eskimo
lose his or her temper. V
The husband and wife seemed to have
separate property. All was "not owned
by the man. Sometimes a wife went
ashore to get fresh articles of trade be
longing to her husband, but on her re
turn she would never part with them,
however tempting an offer was made,
nntil she consulted him. Her own pos
sessions, however, such as bone needles,
thimbles, necklaces, etc., she sold with
out consulting him. The bargaining of
the children for their toys was not inter
fered with in the least by the old people.
The couples are very fond of each
other and are tremendously proud of
their children. Boston Herald.
Improvements in Leather.
As early as 1S23 an English tanner
conceived the idea of forcing the tan
liquors into the hides by hydrostatic
pressure. By this method he greatly
lessened the time of tanning; and, as he
used a frame on which the hides had to
be. tacked before being put into the
wheel, and as the hides had to be cut to
fit these frames, thus causing consider
able waste and damage, the process was
abandoned.
It is hardly to be doubted, however,
that with the spirit of push and enter
prise now manifested by those engaged J
in tne manufciiccure of leather the future
will see wou&erful-. improvements in
this '. important-, industry, and that
science and electricity ' Will make it
possible to convert hides infeWeather in
as many hours as it now takesTHays. If
this is done at all the shoe consuming
public need have no fears that it will be
accomplished at the expense of the ex
cellency of the material which goes into
its footwear, while tanners themselves
can rejoice in the fact that they, being
able to turn their money several times a
year, can make' both better and cheaper
leather . than 'ever before. New York
Advertiser. ..;
Jelly fsom Klephants Tasks.
; ' How many people ' have ever eaten
jelly made from elephants' tusks? Yet
it is very good, indeed. In the English
factories where many tons of ivory are
sawn up annually to make, handles for
knives and forks, great quantities of
ivory dust are 6btained. This dust is
buiu ac me race or sixpence a pound,
and when properly boiled and " prepared
it makes the finest, purest and most nu
tricious animal jelly known. Years ago
ivory jeUy was- a very fashionable
remedy and much sought after. Wash
ington Star.
Why Bey Choirs Are Preferred. .
There are several reasons why the old
style quartette should have been re
placed by the boy choir. Under the old
system the singers often misbehaved;
they took no interest in the church serv
ice, and I have known cases where they
occupied their spare time during the
service reading novels and newspapers.
Then, again, the solo singers were ex
tremely independent; they used to take
most unwarrantable liberties with the
service and were not at all amenable to
discipline. Interview in New York
. Epoch
The common afflictions of women are sick-bend-aches,
indigestion and nervous troubles. They
arise largely from stomach disorders. As Joy's
Vegetable SarsaparDla Is the only bowel ref
lating preparation, yoa ca seo why it is more
effective than any other Carcapariila In those
troubles. It Is daily relieving hundreds. Tho
action is mild, direct and effective. Wo have
ccorcs of letters from grateful women.
We refer to a few:
Nervous debility, Mrs. J. Barron, 142 7th St., S. F.
Nervous debility, Mrs. Fred. Loy, 327 Ellis St., S.F.
General debility, Mrs. Belden, 610 Mason St., 8.F,
Nerrs "iebility, Mrs. j. Lamphere, 735 Tarlc St,
Nervous debility. Miss K. Eosenblum, 232 17th
for., o. r
Stomach troubles, Mrs. B. L. Wheaton, 704 Post
or., o. F. f
SiClpiaeeJ S 'S' M' M' B" Price' 18 Pro8Pect
Sick headaches, Mrs. M. Fowler, 827 Ellis St., S.F.
Indigestion, Mrs. C. D. Stuart, 1221 Mission St.,
S. F. . .
Constipation, Mrs. C. Melvin, 126 Kearny St.. S.F.
Sf&Il'o Vegetable
Uy Q Sarsaparilla
Most modern, most effective, largest bottle.
6am o price, fl. 00 or 6 for $5.00.
For Sale by SNIPES & KINERSLY,
THE DALLES. OREGON'.
Health is Wealth !
BftAlK
Dr. E. C. West's Kebvk akb Brain Tbkat
ment, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Softening of the Brain, resulting in in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, seli
abuse or over indulgence. Each box contains
one month's treatment. f 1.00 a box, or six boxes
for f 5.00, sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price.
WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure an case. With each order received bv
us for six boxes, accompanied by fo.00, we wlli
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effec'
a cure. Guarantees issued only by
BLAKKLETtHOCGHTON,
9 ' Prescription Druggists,
175 Second St. ' The Dalles. Or.
REAL MERIT
PEOPLE
Say the S. B. Cough Cure is the best
thing they ever saw. We are not
flattered for we known Real Merit will
Win. - All we ask is an honest tiial.
For sale by all druggists.
S. B. Medicine Mfg. Co.,
Dufur, Oregon.
$500 Reward!
We will pay the above reward for anj case of
Liver Complaint, Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, In
digestion, Constipation or Costi veness we cannot
cure with West's Vegetable Liver Pills, when the
directions are strictly complied with. They are
purely vegetable, and never fail to give satisfac
tion. Sugar Coated. Large boxes containing 80
Pills, 25 cents. Beware of counterfeits and imi
tations. The genuine manufactured only by
THE JOHN C. WFST COMPANY, CHIGAGO,
ILLINOIS.
BLAKELEY HOUGHTON,
. Prescription Druggists,
711 Seconil St.
The Dalle. Or.
A Revelation.
Few people know that the
bright bluish-green color of
the ordinary teas exposed in
the window' Is not the nat
ural color. Unpleasant as the
fact may be, it Is nevertheless
artificial; mineral coloring
matter being used for this
purpose. The effect is two
fold.. It not only makes the
' tea a bright, shiny green, but also permits the
ass of off-color " and worthless teas, which,
once under the green cloak, are readily
worked off as a good quality of tea. .
An eminent authority writes on this sub
ject: "The manipulation of poor teas, to give
them afiner appearance, is carried on exten
sively. Green teas, being in this country
especially popular, are produced to meet the
demand by coloring cheaper black kinds by
glazing or facing with Prussian blue, tumeric,
gypsum, and indigo. ThU method i$ so gen
eral that eery little genuine uneolored green tea
is offered for tale."
It was the knowledge of this condition of
affairs that prompted the plae'cg of Beech's
Tea before the public It Is absolutely pure
and without color. Did yon ever sue any
genuine uneolored Japan tear Ask your
grocer to open a package of Beech's, and yon
will see it, and probably for the very first
time. It will be found ia color to be just be
tween the artificial green tea that you have
been accustomed to and the black teas.
' It drawsadeltghtfnl canary color, and Is so -
. fragrant that It will bo a revelation to tea
drinkers. Its purity makes it also more
economical than the artificial teas, for lesi
. of It i required per cup. Bold only in pound
packages bearing this trade-mark:
beeciMtea
TuiAs2Ki1dhood
If roar grocer does not have it, he will get .
it for you. Price 60o per pound. "For sale ai .
IjOjsXio Butler's,
- THE DALLES, OREGON.-
Still on Deek.
PhoBnix Like has Arisen
From the Ashes!
james White,
The Eestauranteur Has, Opened the
Baldwin- Restaurant
ON MAIN STREET
Where he will be glad to see any and all
of his old patrons.
Open day and Night. First class meals
twenty -five cents.
YOUR ATTENTION
Is called to the fact that
Hagh Glenn,
Dealer in Glass, Lime, Plaster, Cement
and Building Material of all kinds.
-Carries the Finest Line of-
To be foond in the City.
. ,
72 LUashington Street.
A NEW
PRINZ & NITSCHKE.
DEALERS IN
Furniture and Carpets.
We have added to our business a
complete Undertaking . Establishment,
and as we are in no way connected with
the Undertakers' Trust our prices will
be low accordingly.
Remember our place on Second street,
next to Moody's bank.' .
Staple
Hay, Grain
Masonic Block, Corner Third and
Picture
mouldings
Undertaking Establishment!
Jfeu; 4 Columbia j-lotel,
THE DALLES, OREGON.
Best Dollar a Day House on the Coast!
. First-Class Meals, 25 Cents.
First Class Hotel in Every Respect.
None but the Best of White Help Employed.
T. T. Nicholas, Pirop.
florth
Wa shington
SITUATED AT THE
Destined to be the Best
Manufacturing Center In
the Inland Empire.
For Further Information Call at the Office of
Interstate Investment Go.,
0. D.YTAYLGR'.THE DALLES. 72 WASHINGTON ST PORTUND.
JOHN PASHEK,
t - Tailoiv
Next door to Wasco Sun.
Madison's Latest System used in cutting
garments, and a fit guaranteed
each time.
Hep airing and Cleaning
Neatly and Quickly Done.
R. B. HOOD,
Livery, Feed and Sale
Horses Bought and Sold on
Commission and Money
Advanced on Horses
Left for Sale.
OFFICE OF
The Dalles and Goldendale Stage fcine.
freight must be left at E. B.
, Hood's office the eve
ning before.
R. B. HOOD, Proprietor.
Opposite old Stand. The Dalles, Or.
THE
Dalles, Portland & Astoria
NAVIGATION OOMPAFTS
Elegant Steamer
REGUMTOi
Will leave the foot of Court Street
every morning at 7 A. M.
for
Portland and Way Points
Connections Will be Made with the
Fast Steamer
MMiES GITY,
At the Foot of the Cascade Locks.
For Passenger or Freight Rates, Apply ,
- to Agent, or Purser on Board.
Office northeast corner of Conrt and Main street
NOTICE.
R. E. French has for sale a number of
improved ranches and unimproved
lands in the Grass Valley neighborhood
in Sherman county. They will be sold
very cheap and on reasonable terms.
Mr. French can locate settlers on some
good unsettled claims in the same neigh
borhood. His address is Grass Valley,
Sherman county, Oregon.
-: DEALERS JN:-
Fancy Gioceiies,
and Feed.
Cpurt Streets, The Dailes.Oregon
Dalles,
Washington
HEAD OF NAVIGATION.
' Best Selling Property of
the Season In the North
west. V.