OUTWITTING- THE SMUGGLERS.
low Uncle Sam 'a Customs Officers Cap
tare Contraband Cigars.
"The ways of smugglers axe peculiar,
but the ways of custom house men can
more than outdo them," remarked the
purser of a Havana li:ie steamship.
'You know," he added reflectively, "a
man who visits the West Indies and ap
preciates a fine cigar seldom comes back
to this couutry without making an at
tempt to do some quiet 'smuggling. Of
course the contraband articles are cigars.
It may not be because he is mean, but
the duty is stiff, and I can easily imagine
with what pleasure a box of cigars can r
be passed around among a few friends
with the recommendation, -'Boys, Uncle
Sam never received any duty on these
and I can vouch for them." I have been
there myself.
"The shrewd deputy of Uncle Sam
Understands all this, and in addition, .
the chances are he appreciates a good
cigar as much as we do. Of course he
makes a thorough search for dutiable,
goods on the arrival of all our Bhips, but
there are, he tliinks, many little ways by
which he can be avoided, and travelers
are not long in finding them out.
"This does not worry our friend, the
customs man, for his arrangements, al
though most simple, do not fall far short
of perfection. He knows of the where
abouts of every large lot of cigars which
leave Havana, and when we arrive here
has, in all probability, a complete list of
the number we have on board and the
names of their owners.
'Yon don't believe it. Well, never
theless it is a fact. When smuggling
was more of a business some ears "ago
veloped a scheme by which the quantity
of cigars smuggled in this port was re
duced to a minimum.
"An agent of the department was
placed at Havana. He straightway made
friends with tht cigar dealers and man
ufacturers. This cost money, but the
game was worth the candle. . Whenever
cigars were sold to an American or an
Englishman, in nine cases out of ten the
dealer delivered them, and politely in
sisted on doing so.
"At the request of the buyer they
' would invariably be sent on board bis
steamship or to the hotel at which he
was boarding. In this way the buyer's
name and address were ascertained.
"The crafty Cuban would then make
a memorandum of this seemingly worth
less information and send it to Uncle
Sam's agent. Once in his possession, that
man kept well posted in regard to the
buyer's movements, and on the day he
sailed for New York the amateur smug
gler's name, description and the number
of cigars which he bad were cabled, to
the authorities here.
"No fear of detection bothered the
would be smuggler, and on arrival he
would give the customs man the coldest
kind of a" bluff until a few facts and
figures were presented to him.
"Do they give up the cigars? Oh, yes,
but with mighty bad grace, and if all
the customs men could be paralyzed for
the wishing, I assure you .Uncle Sam
would not have an ablebodied man in
the business. It is hard luck to have
some other man smoke the weed which
your money has paid for, but it happens
more often than you imagine. The
. goods are always confiscated, and the
amateur smugglers are lucky in getting
out of a bad hole, for smuggling is an
offense not to be trifled with.
"Oh,' yes, there are dozens of ways by
which cigars could be smuggled in this
port without detection; but the practice
could not be carried on long, so the
business has not grown. - Sorry I can't
give you some inside information, but it
would be bad policy."
Then the smart looking purser reflect
ively puffed a cigar which had never
paid duty, New York Sun.
Synods and Sinners. -';'
There's a Presbyterian minister in De
troit whose wife is very fond of this city
as a place or residence, some tame ago
the synod to which he belongs" was dis
cussing the advisability of sending ' him
away on feome important business occu
pying a year or so. It was suggested to
him, and he went to his wife as all good
husbands do. ,
"My dear," he said to her cautiously,
"what do you think of going away from.
.Detroit?"
"I don't think of it at .all," she an
swered promptly. ". "Why did you ask?"
"Well, the synod has asked me to go
ana
She went over to him' softly, and, put
ting both hands on his head in a moth
erly way, she said solemnly:
"My son, if synods entice thee, con
sent thou not."
And he didn't. -Detroit Free Press.
T iie Original Eleven Ostriches. '
' The longevity of the ostaich is a qual-
' ity that commends it to capitalists.
Arthur Douglass, a poor sheep farmer
near Graham's Town, South Africa, was
' the pioneer ostrich'' farmer. He started
ink1865 'with' eleven -wild bird ; chicks
and finding that they could be raised in
captivity, he started in to supply the
market with domestic feathers. " He has
raised and sold thousands of chicks and
stocked, many of V the1"- surrounding
ranches, has. marketed thousands of dol
lars' worth of feathers, and still has the
eleven original wild birds . breeding and
yielding good marketable' ' feathers. In
terview in StTXiOuis Globe-Democrat:
The Happiest and Healthiest.
' After all, those are the happiest and
healthiest persons who can labor moder
ately and sensibly at their duties day by
day through the ' year, and who take
with keen zest the pleasures of each sea
son as they come to them in their own
locality. Those who frantically chase
happiness and pleasure from seashore to
mountain and from continent to conti
uent not infrequently brfng back very
little from the pursuit. Providence
Journal. . - . ,
Give a boy a fundamental knowledge
of the principles 'of chemistry, and the
processes and operations of the farm be
come at once wonderfully interesting to
him.
BRAUN'S STONE FENCE
A Scowling; vllxzard Attempted to Raise I
It, but Abandoned the Uoo. I
A few years ago an old Dutchman I
named Braun bought a quarter section
just below mine. He came from Penn
sylvania, and was a hard worker and a
thrifty chap, as most all ' Pennsylvania
Dutchmen are. "My farm is fenced with
barbed wire. t The Dutchman didn't like
wire fences, so in the spring he planted
a willow hedge around his quarter sec
tion. Summer passed, and the hedge
was growing like a jimsen weed, when
early in -the fall a little black cloud
which had been hangin around over in
the northwest all the afternoon suddenly
swooped down our way and went rippin
and tearin across Braun's place. It
didn't leave a dozen hedge plants
standin.
Then the old man concluded that a
fence which would stand agin a hard
wind would be eheapestr in the long run,
and by the middle of October he ' had
built a stout rail fence to replace the
hedge. It was a beauty seven rails
high, with locked corners .and a- heavy
rider" on every length. But we had
hardly time to look over the old man's
handiwork and pronounce it good before
a blizzard struck it and. scattered the
rails over several neighboring townships.
Rather reluctantly Braun then decided
to follow my example and fence his
place with barb wire. He put in jlace
of the rail fence that was a wire fence
which could scarcely be beaten. It had
large, sawed posts and five heavy wires,
and should have lasted a lifetime. It
might have done so, perhaps, but for an
unfortunate occurrence. One afternoon
early in November another blizzard
came sauntering along, pulled up every
blamed fence post,' carefully wrapped a
few miles of wire around them and sailed
off toward Chicago with the whole outfit.
When the hedge was destroyed the
old Dutchman merely sighed; when the
rail fence went he said something half
under his breath; when the wire fence
followed it he swore. Then he sat dpwn,
lighted his pipe and fell into a brown
study.
Bright and early the next spring he
began another fence. It was somethin
entirely new for our country, but it was
a dandy and no mistake. The old man
set his hired hands to work pickin up
stones and haulin bowlders together,
and in a few weeks he had collected
enough of 'em to build a stone wall. It
was as strong as stone and cement could
make it,' and was four feet wide and
three feet high. One afternoon, just
after it was completed, Braun was
pdintin out to me the fine points of his
new wall, when we noticed a black
cloud over agin the western horizon.'
There s trouble over thar, old man.
said I. ' "That blamed' thing is je,st rolliii
up its sleeves and spittin on its hands
and gettin ready for business. It'll be
along here, too, in about two minutes."
"Veil, let it coom." '
Then, as there wasn't anythin else to
do, we sat down to watch it. It' came
rippin along, twistin Off trees close to
the ground or pnllin em by the roots,
cuttin . the prairie grass as clean as a
mower could have done it and sweepin a
clean path. " 'When it reached that wall
it just stopped a moment as if to look it
over, and I could swear I heard a chuckle.
Then it stopped- and caught hold of the
edge of the. masonry. " It held together
well, but up it came, slowly and steadily.
Jest when the wall had been turned half
over the blizzard suddenly gave a groan,
lost its grip and loosened its hold. The
wall settled down upon its side and the
blizzard jumped over it and went howl
in out of sight. .
"Vellr said Braun jubilantly. . "Vot
I told yon. Dot fence, is a dandy, don't
it? It is von feet higher now as pefore
dot vind coom along." And he winked
the other eye. South Dakota Cor. Chi
cago News.
The Woman with the Van.
'The woman who uses a fan in a public
assembly must see, if she has any ade
quate perception of what she is doing,
that five-sixths of the'air carried by this
implement of torture is thrown" into the
neck of "the gentleman' or lady who sits
in front of her. ' She may have1 read m
works of physiology, and she must have
seen very often' in tbe newspapers, that
pneumonia i and kindred 'diseases- are
often the result of such careless - use of
the fan; but she would not abandon the
habit or forego the slight relief that lit
tle waft "of air 'brings to her cheek to
save the life of the whole assembly. -
We have have had a stiff neck (not the
moral,' but th physical kind) for several
days following the gratification of one
who sat behind us in a church or lecture
room, and we regard the woman with a
fan as the ideal picture of supreme sel
fishness.: Men are bad enough,' but a
selfish' woman with a fan can take the
prize. New York Journal of Commerce.
- Mirrors of the Greeks and Romans. , .
- The mirrors of the ancient Greeks and
Romans were thin disks of bronze, high
ly fpolished and usually fashioned with
handles, though sometimes they ; were
"set upright on stands. Later on silver
was used, and . the first mirror of solid
silver - is said to have been made by
Praxiteles in the- time of Jnlina Caesar.
Sunseqnehtly : silver ' ndrrors took" ' the
place of brass or bronze ones almost-altogether,
though steel, copper and even
gold' were ajso employed. "Looking
glasses". xf metal, were employed every
where np to the Fifteenth century.
Washington Star. '
' His Fred lea:
- Lady (to deaf butcher) Well, Mr.
Smallbones, how- do yon find yourself
today?
Smallbones WelL I'm pretty well
deed np, mum. Every rib's gone, they've
J almost torn me to pieces for my shoul
ders, and I never bad such a run on my
legs. London Tit-Bits.
An English writer asserts that no mat
ter what species of oysters are placed in
the English beds, where the natives are
in excess, they very soon, "by inter
breeding, become of a uniform character,
the descendants being all practically
native oysters."
i-'... . Chemistry on the Farm. : .f
Many farmers, laugh at the notion of
applying the principles of chemistry on
the farm, calling such an application of
science "fooling" and . humbug. ' - Yet
farmers see their sons grow up and drift
away because, having" been educated in
the public schools, the spirit of a scien
tific and progressive age has possessed
them, and they seek elsewhere than upon
an old fashioned.! arm scope for the edu
cation which they have already gained
and for the wider education which they
crave. -' . . .
Now there is no field which offers more
ample scope tog oaveducated ahd scien
tific mind thanfi good farm. The old
fashioned ftirmer says. "What do I want
to .know about chemistry? It's enough
if I manure the ground and plant my
seed; nature will take care of the rest."
But the application of manure is
"chemistry," and if the farmer or his
boy nnderstands the groundwork of that
science he knows what kind of manure
is good for a certain field and what kind
is good for another field, and his knowl
edge may make for him or save for him
many dollars in a single year.
A knowledge of chemistry will enable
him to save the valuable properties of
his manures for the soil, instead of let
ting precisely those properties be evapo
rated and wasted r as they are in the case
of most natural manures as now treated
on the farms of this country.
But the most important function of
science on the farm, after all, .at the pres
ent time, is not the immediate material
advantage whiolv it may bring to thp
farmer, but the means which it will sup
ply of interesting the young, of engaging
their active and 'eager intelligence, and
keeping them from places where they
will be very much worse off. Youth's
Companion. .
Good Fishing.
The most unique locality to be found
by the sportsman is probably that sur
rounding the town of Linkville, in Kla
math county, Ore. The'town nestles at
the foot of a large mountain, and lies
right on the, bank of what is locally
known as Link river. - This stream
which is quite large' and connects the up
per and lower Klamath lakes is. alive
with thousands and probably millions of
large, fish, which are constantly passing
to and fro between the two lakes, and
are as constantly jumping out of water
in sight of the town. .They are of all
sorts and sizes. . "
Some of them appear to be cutting up
those antics for Ae fun of the thing, and!
some to shake some kind of an eellike
looking creaturetwhich attacks them in
the water and becomes attached to their
sides, causing the fish apparently much
suffering. It is no uncommon thing for
large fish to be taken there whose sides
are all scarred up in consequence of these
attacks. "" """ - ' ' "
It would not be surprising if many
fish were :. thus destroyed. Probably
there are" not in-the world two lakes
more numerously stocked with trout
.than the upper and'tower Klamath lakes.
judging by map -measurement,"' they
earfi average thirty miles in length by
ten miles in- width; Many large 'streams
empty into them, ' affording splendid
fishing and spawning . grounds. Lying
east of the Cascade range of mountains,
where genuine winter prevails in the
season for it, the water is better and the
fish healthy and solid features which
do not prevail on - the western' side of
the mountains, where an almanac has to
be consulted to ascertain, accurately the
season or the year. Forest and stream.
; . ' l . ;
.' 'A. Conventional Castom.-: ; i-y.-'r
One of the simplest instincts of good
manners would - seem to be that a man
should uncover his head while eating his
dinner with his family; yet it is pretty-
certain that the first gentlemen of Eng
land two centauries ago habitually wore
their hats during that ceremony, nor is
it known just when or why the practice
was changed. In Pepys' famous Diary,
L which is tbe best manual of manners for
ita period, we read, under date of Sept.
22, 1664, "Home to bed, having' got a
strange cold m my head by flinging off
my hat at dinner and sitting With the
wind in myneck." " '
In Lord Clarendon's essay on the decay
of respect paid to age he says that in his
younger days he never kept his hat on
before those older than himself ' except
at dinner. Lord Clarendon died in 1674.
That the English members of "parlia
ment sit with their hats on during the
sessions is well known, and the same
practice prevailed at the early town
meetings in New England. The presence
or absence of the hat is therefore simply a
conventionality, and so it is with a
thousand practices which are held, so
long as they exist, to be the most un
changeable and matter of course affairs.
Harper's Bazar.
When a Man' Is Thirty Tears of- Age. .
All men who employ animals in work
know how their speed falls off with
increasing age.- 'Race horses are. with
drawn from the track shortly after they
have Arrived at the full possession of
their force; they are still good for com
petitions in bottom, and are capable for
many years yet of doing excellent trot
ting service; but'. they cannot run in
trials of speed:" i -; ;': -"
' Man's' 1 capacity to run likewise . de
creases after he has ' passed thirty years;
and ; "the professional' couriers who are
Btiu seen m Tunis, running over - large
distances-in an. incredibly short -time,
are obbged -' to retire while sfeill "young.
Those who. continue to run after they
are forty years old all finally succumb
with : grave heart affections. Popular
Science Monthly. . ;.l - ' : ; .
Pawned at Five Dollar Bill.
; A man who possessed a five dollar bill,
and wanted to blow it in badly, hit upon
a novel plan the other day by .which to
save and spend it both. The bill was
given to him by a friend, and he was de
termined - not to part with it. After a
lengthy debate with himself he evolved
the brilliant scheme of pawning the
note. He paid a visit to his uncle, raised
$4.62 on the bill, and spent it according
to his tastes. When further funds came
in he redeemed the original note. Phila
delphia Record. x
Bad Bld6d:
Impure or vitiated blood Is ninft
times out of ten caused by some
form of constipation -or indiges
tion that clogs up tbe system,
when ttao blood naturally be
comes impregnated with the el
fetcmatter. TheoldSarsaparQlas
attempt to reach this condition
by attacking the blood with the
drastic mineral " potash." The potash theory Is
old and obsolete. Joy 's Vegetable Sarsoparilla is
modcru. It goes to tUe scat of the trouble. It-
arouses the liver, kidneys and bowels to health
ful action, and invigorates the circulation, and
the impurities uro quickly carried off through
tho natural channels.
Try it and noto its' delightful
action. Chas. Lee, at Bcamish's
Third and Market Streets, S. F.,
writes: . I took it for vitiated
blood and- while on tho first not-"
tie became convinced of its mer
its for 1 "could feel it wns work- f
lied and braced mc up generally.
and everything is now working full and regular,'
Joy's
Vegetable
SarsapariSla
For Sale by SNIPES & INERSLV
r i -THE DALLES. OREGON. " ;
Health is Wealth !
Dr. E. C. West's Nkrvk anb Brain Trkat
mekt, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness. Convulsions. Fits. Nervous Neurateia.
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
oi aiconoi or iodocco, w aiceiuiness, mental im
pression, eoitening ot tne urain, resulting in in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death.
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
In either sex, Involuntary Losses and Bpennat
orrhcea caused by over exertion of the brain, self-
abuse or over indulgence. Each box contains
one month's treatment. - $ 1.00 a box, or six boxes
tor xo.uo, sent Dy mail prepaid on receipt of nnce.
VI GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received by
ns for stx boxes, accompanied by $S.00, we will
send the purchaser our written' guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment- does not effect
a cure, uuorantees issuea omy oy -t .
BIAKILBT St HOUGHTON,
Prescription Druggists,
175 Second St.
'J'. ' VJ
The Dalles. Or.
h-jsl ; KBAIi MEKWr.v
tt t.M.
Say thefS. B. Cnrfi'.Care is the best
thing they ever "bSw.1" We are not
flattered for we. known Rkal Merit will
W in. All we ask is an bonest tual.
For sale by all druggists.
.' 8. B. 'Medicine Mfg. Co.,
. .I .T.j" TyDnlnr Oregon.
A Revelation.
Few peopla know that tfa
bright bluish-green color of
the ordinary teas exposed in
the windows is not the nat
ural colon- Unpleasant as the
fact may be, it is nevertheless
'artificial mtnerat 'coloring
matter being nsed for this
-purpose.- Tae eflbe - Is two
fold. It not only makes the
tea bright, shiny greenbat also permits the
MS tt " off-color " and worthless teas, which.
once . mnder the green cloak, , are readily r
worked off as a good quality of tea.
An eminent authority writes' on this sub
ject: "The manipulation of poor teas, to give
them a'flner appearance, is carried oa exten
sively. Green teas, being in this country
especially popalar, are produced to meet the
' demand by coloring cheaper black kinds by
' glazing or facing with Prussian bine, tumeric,
gypsum, and Indigo. Tbi method U so gen
eral Utat wry UUle ffinutne uncolorat green tea
it offered Jot tale." . : ; ' - c -.
It was the knowledge' of this condition of
affairs that prompted the placing of Beech's
Tea before the public.. It is absolutely para
and without color. Did yon ever see any
genuine nneolored Japan teat ' Ask your
grocer to open a package of Beech's, and yon
will see it. and -DrobablT for the very first
time. It will be found In color to be Just be- "
; tween the artificial green tea that yon hare
been accustomed to and the black teas. '
It.draws a delightful canary color, and is so
fragrant that it will be a revelation to tea
drinkers, 1 Its. Vnrity makes it also in ore
economical than the artificial teas, for less
' of it is required per ctrp. ' Sold only in pound
packages bearing thls trade-mart: '
BEEC
:- .: ' " ' " '" m
TorerAs
ildHood"
If yovr grocer does not have it, he will ge
ftfer-yon -MMotaaecpwand, For sals al
lie 3EJ.-tl.ox'js,
$500 Keward!
We-will mv the above reward for any case of
Liver Comvlaint. Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, In
digestion, Constipation or Costiveness we cannot
cure with West's Vegetable Liver Pills, when the
directions are strictly complied with. They are
purely vegetable, and never fail to give satisfac
tion. Sugar Coated. Large boxes containing 30
Pills, 26 cents. Beware of counterfeits and imi
tations. The genuine manufactured only by
i tit. juhim (J. yiax (juiWAiiu,
ILLINOIS.
BLAEELEY HOUGHTON,
Prescription Irnggists,
VflH
I7S Second St.
The Dalles, Or.
THE DAliliES GHRONIGIiE
is here and has come to stay It hopes "
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy,, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous ,
support.
Its
Obi
will be to advertise the resources of tlie
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing1 our industries, m extending
and opening up new channels for our
trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping.THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Leading City of
four pages of siy colximns
evening, except atinaay, ana will oe delivered in the
city, or sent by mail for the moderate sum of fifty
cents a month.
JUST, FAIR AND IMPARTIAL
We will endeavcr to give all the local news, and
we ask that your criticism of out object and course,
be formed ! from ! the contents of the paper,' and not
from rash assertions of outside parties.
iTHE WEEKLY, i
sent to any addreste for
contain irom. tour to six eignt column pages, and we
shall endeavors ta ; make , it the equal of the best.
Ask your Postmaster for
r; - . J .tt f!4 V- f.'i-K (7. QUI It v!---,::(ij
THE CHRONICLE PUB CO.
Office, .W CiVWash Sts
iff hJOeES BROS,;
Siapie and Fancy Groceries.
Hay, Grain
Masonic Block, Corner Third 'and
' J : - ' THE DAIjIjES, OREGON. !
Best Dollar a Day House on the Coast!
First-Class Meals, 25 Cents.
First Class Hotel in Every EespecL '
None-but the Best of White Help Employed.
r ; T. T. Nicholas, Prop.
Washington
' SITUATED AT THE
i ii.-.'-.ftt.I t;.
v-if -i rj. ii '.'I 'it:- if i '
Destined to be the Best
Manufacturing Center In
the Inland Empire. ., .
For Further Information Call at tti Office of
-'. ! .4
Mefstate to
0. D. TAYLOR, THE DALLES.
eets
Eastern Oregon.
... -' - '':.
each, -will "be issued every
$1:50' per ; year. It will
a copy,1 or address.
S '.fji' s y,
! TV l; STI
and Feed;
Court Streets, The Dalles.Oregon
Washington
HEAD OF NAVIGATION.
. Best Selling Property of
the Season In the North
west.:..... . . ' '
Dalles,
72 WASHINGTON ST., PORTLAND.