Villi SWOOP OF A HAWK.
EXPERIENCE OF A SUMMER VISITOR
IN A NEW YORK SUBURB.
Re Hail lleurd About m HankChailui
Man, bat Didn't Velieve It Until He En
countered One of the Animals in m tone-
- ly Kveuintr Walk How He Tell of It.
Mr. Rogers was late for tea. Tlie reJ
twilight of August had faded, and a sen
breeze was rattling at the shatters before
he caine in, looking warm and agitated.
Seeing him ronsed out of his usual calm
excited our curiosity, but we asked no
questions till he had eaten and refreshed
himself. Then we gathered around him.
"I have had a most unpleasant adven
ture." he said in his solemn wav. " I have
been chased by a hawk." Now, if a
child of sis had made that remark it
would have been touching, but for a
broad shouldered person of any number
of feet to announce that he was afraid
or uawKs was too much ror our sense or
humor we laughed. "What did yon
do?" asked the inquisitive member of our
house party. "I clapped my hands and
shouted," said Mr. Rogers, "but the
hawk didn't mind at all; it kept circling
round my head and swooping down"
We reasoned with him. We said it
was physically impossible for a hawk to
fly away with him. We told him the
next time a hawk chased him to fall flat
upon his face and call for help. We
suggested that a pluinp mosquito had
caused his alarm. All in vain. He lis
tened without emotion, and fixing" his
eye on me as the most obtrusively merry
person present, said, "Wait till a hawk
is after you; you won't like.it."
AN EVENING WALK.
The meaning in his words came to me
a few days later. We had been bathing
in Peconic bay. We staid there, splash
ing and swimming, till the blue water
turned gray and the sun went down in a
red smudge. Then suddenly we all felt
an overpowering desire to get out of our
clammy bathing suits and home to tea
as fast as possible. I decided to walk. I
was cold: besides I rather wanted to' get
awjiv frfmi tli Tinisv f.rnwrl
So the house party packed itself into
the wagonette and quickly disappeared
down the winding road, leaving me to
cut across the hills alone. (Funny with
what alacrity people who ore really fond
of you leave you behind.) 1 felt very
much alone somehow, and I almost
wished I had gone with them. Our
house is only a mile from the Peconic
beach on a level line, but as the Shinne
cock hills are like so many green dump
lings one's progress is very up and downy,
and a mile may be twisted into astonish
ing lengths.
1 struck across the fern scented hills at
a rapid pace, one moment on top of a
mountain range, with a view of the two
bays, the next down in a hollow with
only "bay bushes for a horizon. Istopped
in a sort of cup to watch the coming
night The earth sent up a warm, sweet
smell; little stars began to twinkle as
though pricked into the sky. Some
thing dark started up under my feet
my shadow, for the moon had risen. "It
is nice to be alone sometimes," I thought.
"One can't be intimate with nature
when crowds of people are about I feel
now that I am lying on her bosom"
Whirr-rl from the sky. Then two short
sounds like the flapping of a wet towel.
DISCRETION AND VALOR.
1 looked up. Right over my head,
poised as neatly as the sword of Damo
cles, was a hawk. It looked quite sta
tionary, but I remembered Mr. Rogers'
words, and I felt bold. "The thing
doesn't seem inclined to swoop," I
thought Then I started up a hill, with
my nose pointed at the hawk. Just as
I reached the top it gave two flaps and
swooped, i clapped my hands. Where
upon the bird circled and dropped a few
feet
"I won't encourage it by looking at
it," and I walked into the next hollow
in a dignified .manner. Then I looked.
That brute of a bird was hovering in an
expectant attitude. As it caught my
glance it began to circle: it circled till I
grew dizzy : 1 h hii i t gave a cry of triumph
and 6woot i. That action demoralized
me; it turn ; i '.n' hawk into a roc and
me into a . y.
With on " .mo! of despair, I threw
manhood and self respect to the winds,
I ran. I ran as hard as I could, up hill
and down. Brambles caught at me;
blackberry vines clasped my ankles; but
once mounted on terror nothing could
stop me. My white flanneled figure
shone out in the moonlight, adding zest
to the hawk's attacks. On we raced,
swooping, running, dodging, but never
stopping till the friendly lights from the
house streamed out to meet us. Then
the hawk, with a long cry of scorn,
sailed away to the pine Woods in the
west -
The house party was on the piazza as
I came up. "Glorious walk," I cried.
"Ran half the way. Finest sport in the
" world after bathing!" . Mr. Rogers fol-
lowed me into the house. "It's awful
when it swoops, isn't it? he said, with
a cruel look in his brown eyes. New
YorkPost.
A Mischievous Schoolgirl.
Commodore P. Vedder, while a young
man, teaching school, had occasion to
punish a mischievous girl,' and, as was
usual in that day and locality, was about
to resort to the ferule. To the -offending
maid he said, "Miss , give me your
band." She dropped ' her head and
blushed. Again he said, sternly, "Miss
, 1 say, 'give me your hand." Slowly
lifting her eyes, she remarked: "Mr.
Vedder, this is embarrassing for me.
You should not make such proposals in
public. However, you must ask my papa
first Buffalo Express. .
A Chorairas.
A cluu'agus was 'the superintendent of
the equipment and instruction of a cho
rus. The Athenians made him a state
officer, and the position became one; of
importance and dignity. Tho term clio
ragus was in the course of-time used to
biguify a person who supplied the costs
for any purpose. New York Weekly.
Not for Herself.
i li gives some women a ueep uuu al
most oppressive sense of responsibility
to be intrusted with the selection of a
pair of gloyes or a yard of ribbon for
another woman. "It' isn't for myself,"
said an anxious looking customer at the
ribbon counter of a large dry goods
store one afternoon when the clerks
were busiest "If it was for myself I
should know exactly what I wanted and
wouldn't waste any time over it
But"
"Did you say dark or light green rib
bon?" asked the clerk.
"She said dark, and yet not too dark,
bo I don't exactly know what to get. If
I were going to use it myself"
"How would this do?"
"Well, I hardly know. It seems a
trifle light to me, and yet maybe it
wouldn't bo. I don't know just what
it's to be used for, which makes the mat
ter all the more perplexing."
"How wide did you want it?"
"She said from two and a half to three
inches, which is of course rather indefi
nite. It's for a friend of mine living in
M , and she simply wrote for a yard
of dark green ribbon, from two and a
half to three inches wide, at from thirty
to forty cents a yard, and I am puzzled
to know just what to get. . If it were for
myself"
"You didn't want satin ribbon?"
"She didn't say, and I don't know
whether to get satin or grosgrain or wa
tered ribbon, or ribbon with a plain,
corded or picot edge, or what. Every
thing is so indefinite about it If I knew
what she wanted it for, or had some lit
tle hint to go by, or if it were for myself
but as it is, I'm entirely in the dark."
"I think, on the whole, I'd better
write and get more definite information
before selecting anything. Yes, that's
what I'll do, and then I'll not make any
mistake." Youth's Companion.
A Thought Measuring Machine.
Dr. J. K. McKatterell has constructed
an ingenious apparatus by which be can
determine, with a considerable degree
of accuracy, the time it takes to think,
and has experimented with many inter
esting results. He has shown that to
see a piece of white paper and be con
scious of the fact takes one-twentieth of
a second; to see a picture takes one-tenth
of a second : to see a letter of common
print, one-eighth of a second; to see a
full word, one-seventh of a second; to be
able to judge between red and blue, one
thirteenth of a second.
He has also proved that to see some
words and letters requires more time
than others. By this same machine,
with some added pieces of mechanism,
the time of remembering can also be ac
curately measured. According to the
learned M. D. and his curious little tna
chine it takes much less time to remem
ber the name of a familiar word than it
does the name of a letter, and we are
all supposed to be very well acquainted
with the names of the letters of the al
phabet This seems strange, especially
when we tike . into consideration the
fact that we can see the letter in less
time than we can the word.
The name of the next month to come
can be thought of in less time than that
of the last 1 This machine also shows
that sensations travel by the nerves to
the brain at the rate of one mile per
minute, much slower than has been sup
posed, St. Louis Republic.
Lincoln's Face and the Artists.
Lincoln's features were the despair of
every artist who undertook his portrait
The writer saw nearly a dozen, one after
another, soon after the first nomination
to the presidency, attempt the . task.
They put into their pictures the large,
rugged features, and strong, prominent
lines; they made measurements to ob
lain exact proportions; they ."petrified"
some single look, but the picture re
mained hard and cold. Even before
these paintings were finished it was
plain to see that they were unsatisfac
tory to the artists themselves, and much
more so to the intimate friends of the
man this was not he who smiled, spoke,
laughed, charmed. The picture was to
the man as the grain of sand to the
mountain, as the dead to the living.
Graphic art was powerless before a I
face that moved through a thousand
delicate gradations of line and contour,
light and shade, sparkle of the eye and
curve of the lip, in the long gamut of
expression from grave to gay, and back
again from the rollicking jollity of
laughter to that serious, far away look
that with prophetic intuitions beheld
the awful panorama of war. J. G. Nic
olay in Century.
Cruelty to Lobsters.
It is singular how the cruel practice
of boiling lobsters alive continues. Our
forefathers and, indeed, our parents
let calves bleed slowly to death, on the
theory that in no other way could white
meat be secured, and later on calves
were bled one day and killed the next.
Now every one knows that a calf can be
killed in a humane manner and the veal
made just as good. Hogs are largely
killed by electricity instead of by the
old barbarous method; and, generally
speaking, animals killed for food have
been put out of the way in a much more
humane manner than formerly. But
lobsters are still tortured out of exist
ence, the only difference being that,
while formerly they were exclusively
boiled to death, now some are boiled
and some broiled. Which process causes
the most agony no one can say. St
Louis Globe-Democrat
The Broncho.
The genuine broncho pony is a won
derful product of our western prairies.
He is the great friend of the Indians and
the invaluable companion of the cow
boys, from whom he has received his
various descriptive terms of the "kicking
broncho," the "bucking broncho" and the
"stubborn broncho." These terms have
become so closely associated with the
pony that one can hardly imagine the
existence of a broncho minus all of these
negative virtues. Yet when kindly treat
ed they make staunch friends, and unless
provoked to it they will hold their bad
qualities in reserve until some stranger
comes near them. New York Epoch.
SLICK PATENT FAKIRS.
THE HARM THEY DO. AND THE
DECEIT THEY USE.
Ambitious, ftartlvrorklitg inventors Are
Their Victims They Generally Operate
by PiiblUliiiiE a Paper What They
" Promise and How Tltcy Avoid the Law.
Of the making of patents there is no
end, like the making of books. The
bookmaker and the patentee are half
brothers, the one making machines for
the convenience of the mind, and the
other making things for the convenience
of hand. Both see through the same
glass, and both see the illusive vision of
wealth and fame. The distinction is
that 'bookmaking' and patentmaking,
which are failures, produce an army of
desperate cranks, whose persistence of
purpose is equaled only by the useless
ness or impracticability of the book or
patent. This age of invention baa, how
ever, produced one class of inventors
called "fakirs," which derives a liveli
hood by its schemes to draw the coins
from the pockets of the better class of
inventors. ..
The patent fakir in some cities is be
coming numerous, prosperous and bold.
It is only a question of time until con
gress will have to suppress him. " '
The "patent fakir," as distinguished
from the legitimate agent, is so called
because he runs an agency that is a pure
fake. Any one can become a fakir, and
he doesn't need much knowledge of
either patent laws or mechanical laws.
The legitimate patent agent is a man of
wide knowledge, easily commanded.'
The fakir simply rent3 a 'suite of rooms
and puts up his sign. Then he frequent
ly begins the publication of a patent
paper.
It isn't necessary for the paper to have
any circulation, but is a good idea to
send out several hundred sample copies
to known inventors. Then he watches
legitimate patent journals closely, and
the publications and reports of the
patent office, and when an invention is
found that it is possible, he thinks, to
induce its originator to back it up to the
bottom of his purse, he writes him a
ticklish letter.
HOW THE FAKIR WORKS.
He says something of this sort: That
he "has regarded with deep interest
your valuable invention." Continuing,
he may state that he will be glad to put
the article on sale, and a model will help
him greatly. The last paragraph of the
letter is to the effect that 'fthe agency
is publishing a papar of general circula
tion, and that a description of the pat
ent will be printed for ten dollars; for a
like amount the reading matter will be
adorned with a cut of the invention,
which is the property of the inventor
after used . once, but to properly and
cheaply advertise the iuyention it is
necessary to purchase 6,000 circulars at
two dollars per 1,000, which the "agency"
will mail to interested capitalists.
Here is a bonanza for the inventor for
only thirty-two dollars! Publication in
an illustrated journal and introduction
to the wealth necessary to make his in
vention marketable. So he replies to
the circular and incloses the necessary
amount.
This is how the "agency" plays its
part. When the thirty-two dollars is re
ceived a cheap cut is made and about
two "sticks" of descriptive matter
printed. About three thousand circulars
are printed, a bundle of which is sent to
the inventor, and the remainder fed to
old Boreas from the housetops. The
paper may have little or no circulation,
but still its circulation is "general."
The model of the patent which is for
warded is placed on "exhibition" for
sale, and thus the agreement is nomi
nally kept and no law is violated. Thus
the "agency" is about twenty dollars
better off without much hard work.
When one stops to consider the enormous
number of inventors who accept these
proffers of help it can be seen how pros
perous the business may be.
OULLIBLE INVENTORS.
It is said that one man who has been
in thw "fake" business in a . city down
east for many years has secured a vast
fortune, and that, he occupies several
floors of a building with his offices.
"No persons are more gullible than in-,
ventors," is the belief npon which the
fakir works.
But there are other schemes to inter
est inventors. Another agency method
is to organize n "association" for in
ventors, the membership in which is all
the way from ten dollars to twenty-five
dollars. The inventor is not required to
pay his membership fee until his patent
has passed the "test" of the "examining
board." Be that test successful or Un
successful, the inventor receives a highly
illuminated picture of an examining
boai'd examining inventions and passing
judgments thereon. If his was success
ful he is eligible to membership, and if
unsuccessful he must go elsewhere.
There is no violation of the letter of the
agreement which induces the inventor to
join the association. The latter does all
it promises, but all it promises can bene
fit him little.
Recently there came under the bah of
the French government an academy of
invention. The plan of this institution
was to have a gradual system of inves
tigation of the patents submitted, and
each stage cost a few dollars additional.
When the last one was reached medals
were awarded at different prices, but
the inventor seldom got off for less than
fifty or seventy-five dollars. The "acad
emy" was opened by an astute Parisian,
who, while he had violated no- law, was
morally guilty of working a confidence
game npon thousands of his country
men. Indianapolis News. .
An Agreeable Hen tlf rice.
One of the most agreeable of denti
frices is to be found in a few drops of
tincture of myrrh in half a glass of
water. It not only cleanses the mouth,
making it fresh and sweet, but it is an
excellent tonic for the gams and arrests
decay. It also has the merit of being
very inexpensive, as ten cents will buy
ennngh to Lust a year or uiott. New
York Tribune. '
Water,. it should be known, can easily
be kept cool without ice by infolding
the earthen pitcher or jar which receives
it in three folds of cotton or linen cloth
kept constantly wet.
, Colonel Theodore A. Dodge makes the
startling statement that "every shot
from a big gun consumes $1,000." At
this rate war has become a very expen
sive luxury.
The father of a fretful baby consoled
himself with thinking that after all he
shouldn't kmow how to get along with
out it in fact that it was "a crying ne
cessity." Head
Aches. Hick -headaches are Xbo outward indications of
derangements of tho stomach aud bowels. As
Joy's Yruetablo Sarsaparilla is tho only bowel
rc?:ilitiif; preparation of Sarsaparilla, it is seen
why it is the only appropriate Sarsaparilla in
slcU-hi-ndnchcs. Ic is not only ormronrinfp- itu
! it: i-.!: ol;ite cure. After a course of it an occa-
s.im.-i! ilosc at intervals will forever after prevent
return. -
- J no. !. Cos, of 733 Turk Street, Sail Francisco,
writes: "I have been troubled with attacks of
sic!;-!ie:il:ehe for the last three years from one to
three times a week. Some time ago I bought two
bottles of Joy's Vegetable Sarsaparilla and have
only bud ouo attack since and that was on the
se :: 1 day after I began using it."
Vegetable
w Sarsaparilla
For Sale by SNIPES: &. KINERSLY.
THE DALLES. OREGON'.
Health is Wealth!
Db. E. C. West's Neeve and Bbain Treat
mknt, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache,' Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Softening of the Brain, resulting in in
sanity aud leading to misery, decay and death
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, self
abuse or over indulgence. Each box contains
one month's treatment. $1.00 a box, or six boxes
for $3.00, sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price.
- WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each 6rder received b
us for six boxes, accompanied by $5.00, we will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund tho money if the treatment does not effec
a cure.. Guarantees issued only by
' " BLAKK1KY & HOUGHTON.
Prescription Druggists,
175 Second St. - Xhe Dallns. Or.
REAL MERIT
PEOPLE
Say the S. B. Cough Cure is the best
thing they ever saw. We are not
flattered for we known Real Merit will
Win. All we ask is an honest tiial.
For sale by all druggists.
S. B. Medicine Mfg. Co.,
Dufur, Oregon.
A Revelation.
- Few people know that the
bright bluish-green color of
the ordinary teas exposed in
4he windows is not the nat
ural color. Unpleasant ss the
fact may be. it is nevertheless
artificial; mineral coloring
matter being used for tltfs
purpose. The effect is two
fold. It not only makes the
tea a bright, shiny green, but also permits (he
we of " off-color " and worthless teas, which,
once under the green cloak, are readily
worked off as a good quality of tea. .
.- An eminent authority writes on this sub
ject: "The manipulation of poor teas, to Eire
: them a'finer appearance, is carried on exten
sively. Green teas, being in this country
especially popular, are produced to meet tho
demand by coloring cheaper black kinds by
glazing or facing with Prussian blue, tumeric,
gypsum, and indigo. Thit method it to gen
eral that very little genuine uncolored green tea ,
it offered for tale."
It was the knowledge of this condition r f
affairs that prompted the placing of Beech's
Tea before the public It is absolutely pure
and. without color. Did you ever see any
genuine .nncolored Japan tea? - Ask your
grocer to open a package of Beech's, and you
will see it; and probably for the very first
lime. It will be found iu co'.or to be just be
tween the artificial green lea that yo-.i have
been accustomed to and the black te.
It draws a dellgh t ful canary color, aud Is aa
fragrant that It wiil be a revelation to tea
drinkers. Its purity makes it also more
economical than the artificial teas, for le?i
of it is required per cup. Sold only iu pound
-packages bearing this trade-mark:
BEECBI TEA
"Pure-AslMhdhood:
SICK
Joy
If your grocer does not have it, he will gel
It for you. Price 60o per pound. For sale at
Losllo Bixtler's,
THE DALLES, OREGON. -
THE DflliliES
is here and has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous
support.
Its Objects
will be to advertise the resources of the
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing our industries, in extending
and opening up new channels for our
trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
City of
four pages of siy columns
Leading
d vciuu6, ojLuept Daaaay, ana -win De delivered in the
city, or sent by mail for the moderate sum of fifty
cents a month.
JUST, FAIR AND IMPARTIAL
We will endeavc r to cive all the l final nouro o-rA
we ask that your criticism of out object and course,
be formed from the contents of the paper, and not
from rash assertions of outside parties.
THE WEEKLY,
sent to any address for' $1.50 per year. It will
contain from four to six eight column pages, and we
shall endeavor to make it the equal of the best.
Ask. your Postmaster for a copy, or address.
THE CHRONICLE PUB. CO.
Office, N. W. Cor. Washington and Second. Sts
HUCTION SHLE I
Dry Goods and Clothing at Your Own Price.
The entire stock of N. Harris consisting of General Dry
Goods, Clothing, Boots and Shoes, Hats, Caps, and
Gents' Furnishing Goods will bo sold at
Auction to the highest bidder for
cash in hand.
Sales )eldevery night commencing at 7 o'eloek.
J. B. CROSSEN, Auctioneer.
jNfeu Qolumbia . potel,
THE DALLES, OREGON.
Best Dollar a Day House on the Coast!
First-Class Meals, 25 Cents.
First Class Hotel in Every Respect.
None but the Best of White Help -Employed.
T. T. Nicholas, Pvop.
Italy
Washington
SITUATED AT THE
Destined to be the Best
Manufacturing Center in
the Inland Empire.
For Further Information Call at tho Office of
Interstate Investment Go.,
CHRONICA
Eastern Oregon.
each; will be issued every
Dalles,
Washington
HEAD OF NAVIGATION.
Best Selling Property of
the Season In the Northwest.
O. D. TAYLOR, THE DALLES.
72 WASHINGTON ST., PORTLAND.