.,... .....Maklne M Hot for a Lovsr. :.; ...
An advertisement for a wife brought
several answers to the advertiser, a young
gentleman "of Tarentnm;- Pa. " Among
them was one signed "Cora," of Spring
' dale. The writer's' sentiments and chi
. rography seemed to indicate a young lady
of " refinement regular .correspondence
followed, and then the young man agreed
to go to Springdale and meet bis ideaL
They met at the railroad station and
-started off together. Then a procession
f 200 waga of the place followed the
couple,, and paralyzed the young Lo
thario by stepping up in turn ' and ': in
quiring about the health of the bewitch
ing "Cora. .jr..-:"...' , : .; . , ,
It should here be stated that 'Cera'
was personated by a smooth faced young
man, arrayed in his mother's toggery..
Lothario soon realized that he was the
victim of a practical joke, and deserting
the giggling 'Cora" he hurried to the
train and started homeward. ,. - A. tele
graph operator had prepared for his re
ception in Tarentum by sending a tele
gram thither; and when Lothario arrived
there the whole town; had turned out in
a body to make exasperating inquiries
about his conquest of "Cora." Yankee
Blade. '
"That I Love.
In a small watering place in western
Prussia a rich lady with her daughter,
nineteen years old, hired a' cottage for
the whole summer season.. .
But the two ladies had not been six
weeks in the place when they suddenly
'departed. The reason for this abrupt
ending of their pleasure trip was a love
affair between the young lady and a
spruce fisherman, . which the . mother
crushed in the bud. ..With this, how
ever, the story, does not end.
The inhabitants of the place, fearing
that some more young ladies might fall
in love with the nice fisherman, which
would consequently lead to more abrupt
departures, resolved to prevent such oc
currences in future. -- - -
They held a meeting and decided that
the fisherman should be punished se
verely for his imprudence in allowing
himself to be the object of love for
young ladies. A committee took- the
culprit to an open place and flogged him
so unmercifully that the poor fellow had
to lie in bed for several days. Boston
Globe.., .. r --- -" - ' , . j
Th Price f Col. .t .
A gentleman whq has "given much
thought to the price of coal said to me:
"The owners of anthracite coal hope that
when householders return to town in Oc
tober they will lay in their full supply of
coal f6r the winter. ., Now,, if household
ers do this, they will simply play info the
hands of the coal barons and make the
price of coal higher. The sensible thing
to do is to purchase from hand to mouth
instead of filling their cellars.
"That would result in the large com
panies being compelled to carry along
great quantities of coal nnd would gradu
ally reduce the price of this much needed
article. The earnings and the income of
people nowadays are on the decrease,',
and an excellent way to .curtail -household
expenses is to force down the price
of coal to the level it ought to reach. "
New York Epoch.' ' ' -
A Long Island Ghost.
A house on 'Long Island that long pos
sessed the reputation of being haunted
was rented by a man who had no fear of
ghosts, and who. was determined- if any
existed there to meet them. He sue
ceeded, but the ghosts weren't : of the
kind we see represented in pictures. He
heard a strange noise late one night and
located it on the roof .Tf Accordingly he
armed himself with clubs-and repaired
to the roof. His coming did not cause
the mysterious ., sounds .to. cease, and so
he gradually crept along until he came
down on. the "ghost." It was a large
vase that was being rocked by the high
winds, causing the unearthly noises. He
pitched the ghost to tlie ground, smash
ing it into a thousand piece? and " then
returned to bed. New York Letter.
Tha Trouble 'mm Umbrella Caused. '
"An overturned umbrella blown from
a room in the Hotel Ryan, at St. Paul,
caused a peculiar ' flood recently," said
H.C Calkins. ' ,;J.. :;j.X
"The umbrella blew so as to obstruct
the corner catchbasin during a terrific
rain. Down came the flood, and the
. gutters became swelled ' into young
creeks. Slowly the water in the ditches
increased, until it ran over and flooded
the basements of the neighboring mer
chants, who. found, gallons of water in
their cellars, and hundreds of dollars'
worth of goods were destroyed, all be
cause of an upturned .umbrella." Chi
cago News.
Hi Hat Saved the Trestle.
.. Saturday evening Ben- Rivera, of J ack
sonville. Fla., while .walking the,. West
ern railroad; track discovered that the
trestle over Highland branch . was on
fire. He sent in an alarm to the officials,
and remained to fight the fire as best he
could.' The "jowly mater to be obtained
was from the branch, and Rivera carried
it steadily in his hat for hours until as
sistance arrived from town in the shape
of a locomotive loaded with employees.
The opportune aid of Rivers undoubted
ly 6aved the trestle from destruction.-
iixenange. g 5 ,;- H; ;j .;
i ''
1: ;
The show Of lotus in the lake on the
west 6ide of Central park near One Hun
dredth street. New York, continues, and
there are thousands of seed vessels, full
blown blossoms and 'buds! A young
woman has been sketching the scene
daily for some time past. The impish
lads that infest the park stand "upon th
edge of the lake und lasso the blosaoros., '
Including approaches, the new London
Tower bridge will be more than half a
mile long, and S0.000 tons of stone. 20.000
touS of 'temieiity; 11,000 tons ot steel jmtl
iron unit, $1.O0, toiisi.of vbrieTc will 'sentex
into ft ctjjjipsitjoiui J 'I 3 3 J t f f ?,
fiJii o b) - ... " $. 1
.Eight ' thousand 'Jewish resident of
Odessa are under notice of, expulsion.
The majority of these peoi ov?ii "rel
estate in and about the i-ity. n:rl nearly
all are engaged in business.
.', An Interesting. Tennis. Kuttl.
There is something superb about the
loftiness or, tne average British army
officer when in the presence of "civil
iams." . In the recent tennis tournament
for. the championship of the maritime
provinces of Canada, Halifax sent .the
flower of her majesty's officers to com
pete for tennis . laurels. V The military
men poopoohed the idea that the "civil
ians" had of making a fight worth talk
ing about with British redcoats. . "Now,
if yon had any military men here," said
ane,; ' "it might , be different." They
stalked around with a majestic army
stride before the tourney began. - Then
two young men, hardly more than boys,
who had heard the talk about the "civil
ians," tightened their belts and went for
the whole British army.
They defeated all her majesty's players
save two, the "crack" pair of Halifax,
and when their turn to meet came the
humiliated officers leaned back - and
smiled once more in a superior way.
"Now let these youngsters beat them, if
they can," they said. And the youngsters
did beat them. They played tennis that
made the officers sliiver, and thrashed
them beautifully. The military men
couldn't explain it, but the boys could.
"I would rather have beaten those fel
lows than the best player in the world,"
said one of them, and the young "civil
ian" shut his teeth, "and I'd like to do it
again." New York Tribune.
" Demand for Heavy JSnsines.
At no time in history of railroads have
the efforts to improve the work of engines
received more attention than at the pres
ent. Mechanics are attempting to de
termine the most perfect combinations
of speed and strength, and at the same
time economize in the use of fuel. . Each
year the standard of locomotives in this
country is raised higher,; and the engines
of the present time are a great improve
ment on those of even ten years ago.
Some master mechanics are of the
opinion that the heaviest locomotive now
built is as : heavy as it is practicable to
build one, while others predict that still
heavier passenger and freight engines
will be 1 built and the roadbeds of the
country so improved as to admit of high
speed with safety, even if an engine
weighs one-third more than the ten
wheel passenger engines now in use.
What the future of mechanism Will bring
forth to increase the speed and power of
engines, is a problem of interest to others
than mechanics -New York Telegram.
A Hard Joke on a Bashful Couple.
A pretty girl from ,out ; of town had
been staying for some time with a young
lady friend in Buffalo, and as the time
for her departure drew nigh a young
man from out of town' turned up and
volunteered to attend the young girl on
her homeward journey. The hostess put
up a liberal lunch for the travelers, and
then, filled in all the crevices with rice.;
She also put some in the young man's
coat pockets, slid some into the young
ladyVparasol, and likewise deposited
some in the depths of - the V young man's
umbrella.; v Both boarded the train with
out noticing these suggestive additions
to their traps.
The result is not yet ; known, but as
the young man is slightly . bashful, and
the young lady is known to blush on
slight" provocation,' the 'consequences,
when the rice fell all over the car floor,
can be imagined. Buffalo Enquirer.
-:.iA Good Day 'for Bean, -i i
James E. Cliff, of hii city, who is en
joying a vacation by hunting in the
vicinity of Canaan, Vt., met quite a sur
prise Sundayi1 While walking along in
the woods in Pittsburg, N. H., he sud
denly became aware that three bears
were very near him and his gun was out
of order. ' .Time was precious; however,
and fearing he would lose his chance he
fired,, and ' fortunately ' ; captured the
largest of the three. A second and third
shot brought down the other two. He
sold the pelts of two of - the animals- for
twenty dollars. and as ... there was a
bounty, of ten dollars on bears in that
state he made on the whole -transaction
about fifty dollars. The third bear Mr.
Cliff will stuff and mount. New Bed
ford Standard. . ; ;; , ; i- :
' Ruts Good Etlotr ' '""'
It is reported that a negro employed in
one of the warehouses at Americas has
been in thft habit of supplying dressed
squirrels to' the good people of Americas.
Nothing was known: about him and it
was supposed that he was a huntsman,
but some one grew suspicious, and invea-'
tigations followed. It was discovered
that the fellow had been killing the great
rats : that infest the warehouse, dressing
and selling them' as squirrels. Indigna
tion does not express the feelings of the
negro's customers when they learned of
the fraud that had been perpetrated upou.
them. Savannah News. ,-. ,
. An Enormous Toad Stool. .
A huge toadstool has appeared every
fall for the last ten .years on a low branch
of an elm tree, near Wold eck park, Ber
lin. It stands about twenty-five inches
high and has a cap almost two feet in
diameter. Two years ago a policeman
picked it. cooked it, and ate, and suf
fered no bad resnljts from the meal.'. On -"
Sept. 3 the big toadstool sprouted for
the eleventh time; Paris Letter. " ' f-.
'''"No Obstacle.
'Objectionable Wooer (effusively) I as
sure you that if you are not kinder I shall
take the next steamer and visit friends
in-Germany. m'I ;ii ".":';; J ; 1 X.i- ?',Y
Fair One (calmly) Do; there is now no
reason why vou shouldn't.
O. .W." What do you mean? i
: O.-r-sThere are ho longer restrictions j
upon American pfcrlc fittsbnrg Bulle
tin. .
,,4-V Letter That Came at Last.
.'.Dory Coal, r-u farmer of Saunders
county, came to .'the city Wednesday,
after his mail; "and one: of the Jetfers
handed-him was; from his former sweet
heart. Miss Harris, written at Port
Bryan, Ills.. May 8, 1875. It was six
teen, years, four .-months and thirteen
days reaching its'dostination. Nebraska
!. StateJournaL
-..;., Fb That Shoot flies. ..,
There is a.curious fish of the Indian
ocean, to which; although "it" has long
been known to naturalists, attention has
recently been called on account of some
new observations of its peculiarities. ' It
is flat and chubby, not unlike the ordi
nary sun fish, and seldom exceeds seven
or eight inches in length. ; , ; - .'
It is furnished with a short snout or
muzzle, which, as we shall see, serves
very much the purpose of a sportsman's
gun. It is fond of insects, and its
method of capturing them has suggested
its name of the archer. ; h
Swimming close beneath ' the surface
it watches the brilliant flies flitting '
above, and, having selected one to its
fancy, suddenly thrusts its muzzle out.
and with almost unerring marksman
ship discharges several drops of -water
at its victim. - :: - ;
'Confused by the watery projectiles. '
and with its ; wings entangled and ren
dered, temporarily useless. the insect falls
apon the surface of the sea, and is im-'
mediately seized by its voracious enemy.
The fish is said to be able to bring
down a fly in this manner from a height
of two or three feet.
Some of the inhabitants of Java keep
these little fish in captivity for the sake
of watching them practice their archery
upon flies and ants suspended above
them. Youth's Companion.
Disillusions.
During his days of. youthful enthusi
asm every man promises himself a career
of perfect happiness of stainless re
spectability of. matchless honor. We
natter ourselves that the world will re
form itself for our sake. We anticipate
a faultless partner in our future- bride,
and cheat ourselves with the expectation
that the even current of destinies will
flow over sands of gold. Alas! the first
self deception we are compelled to resign
becomes a bitter trial to our fortitude;
but, one. after another, we see these
cherished visions fade away -we Inure
ourselves to the degree of . mediocrity
which is our allotted portion and final
ly learn to be contented with such scraps
as the charity of fortune throws in our
way. New York Ledger.' " " " ' "' '
Killed a Deer with a Pocketknlfe.
One morning about three weeksago
George Phaup, of Chesterfield,. Va.,
heard two hounds running- a .. deer, but
as this wa; no unusual occurrence in his
neighborhood he paid no attention to it.
Later in the day, while about to , cross
the Appomattox river bridge below his
house, he was surprised to recognize the
voices of the same two hounds he had
heard in the morning, and this time they
were baying something in a slash on the
low grounds, which, on investigation,
proved to be an enormous buck that had
got hung in such a manner that despite
his frantic efforts he could . not release
himself. .-, .', ;..' , . . .' ... ,t .. ,
Mr. Phanp had 'no weapon other than,
a pocketknife, but he attacked the ani-
mal with that, and succeeded after" a'
desperate struggle with the thoroughly
enraged bhek in cutting his throat. The
final and most difficult task was getting
his prize on the horse, but he soon ac
complished . this, and your humble serv
ant had a piece of the venison for break
fast the next morning. Cor. American
Field. - : - -.; . ........
: '. '' .., '. ' .. .', .-J.;,.-
: Saturn's Rings Disappear. V , 7 - - 1
: According tfProf essor George C. Com
etock, of the Washburn : observatory,
Madison.' Wis.,' the phenomenon of the
disappearance of the. rings of Saturn' has
just occurred: Once in fifteen -years the
earth in its motion about the sun passes
through the plane of the rings of Saturn,
so that they are turned edgewise toward
the earth. . The rings are so thin that
they '. then disappear altogether. from
sight in an ordinary telescope, while in
the more powerful ones the planet ap
pears to have a fine needle thrust through
it. The appearance of the rings at the
times of disappearance and reappearance
is of special interest to astronomers, since
it furnishes information with regard to
the nature of these appendages not other
wise attainable. Philadelphia Ledger.
School Savings Banks in Eugland. '. ,'.
There has been -a large increase of the
number of scholars in the schools of
England since Sept. 1, when the free ed
ucation act went into force.' The man
agers of schools advised the parents of
the scholars to put into savings banks
for the benefit of their children the three
pence per week that had previously been
paid for the education of each child, and
school savings banks were established to
receive these deposits. This advice Was
followed by large numbers of parents in
various parts of England, and the banks
have already been of service. In the city
of Manchester, for example, more than
5,000 new accounts have been opened in
them the first month. ; i : The small; funds
thus deposited will be useful to the chil
dren hereafter. London Letter. '
Cheap Chest Protectors..
At this season of the. year so many
people are caught unawares at a distance
from their hearth and home and warm
clothes that it is a good time to mention
the great value of newspapers as chest
protectors. . ? Let the ; papers be firmly
dried and then folded into several thick
nesses and placed across the chest. If
they are also wrapped in strips around
the arms it will be found that they exert
a beneficial influence.' . : ; . : : : i ;
Professional economists who utilize
everything, even to old tin cans and shoe
tops, are quite unstinted in their .praises
of old' newspapers, and use them for
linings for quilts, stuffing, for beds, pil
lows, dress linings and sole protectors.
Neyf .!Yor c Commercial Advertiser.
The Thonderbolt and the Bar!ed Wire.
A wicked Connecticut thunderbolt got
hold of ;a: Tartar at the Cheney farm at
North Haven I a few days ago .when it
tackled a barbed wire fence that encir-Z
cles a big lot belonging to Mr.. Cheney.
The bolt ! hit the fence near ithe house,
split itself in two. and the divided bolt
went entirely around .the field in oppov
site directions at the same time. The
wires jingled like a cotton spindle, but
held their own pretty well, though the
bolt yanked out of the ground eleven
posts that carried the wires. New York
Sun. ' -" - ' r:- -
A stout Indian " woman' whose weight
is over 800 pounds, fell through a wooden
sidewalk in Bath, Me. The injury to
the walk so annoyed the street commis
sioner that he told the woman that here-,
after she must walk in the middle of the
street. ' '' 1;: .
The recent heavy crops of. - wheat and
corn are already showing their effect
upon the stocks and markets. Wall
street is more active than it has been for
years, and the return flow of gold from
Europe has already reached over $1,000,
000. , : - .; -
A laborer, while at work, on -a sewer
in Sedalia, Mo., recently, was approach
ed by a young man inquiring for Work'
who turned out to be his son who- had
run away from home ten years before
when the family 'lived in St. Louis.,:
J: V. H. Is tlio only SrEair:i!a '.hat Via cV
feeble people should take, in fh raii'terr.l rr-f:nY
which io la every other Sarna waii ! !. i hut t d kr.or.
of,- is under certain iconditions ,twit to be
emaciating. J. V. S. on the coutrary.is purely
vegetable and stimulates -f1:jcstii;i oml -crcqte
new. blood, tho.very thins fur old, ilcllcato or
broken down people. It b!iil,ls.thqra..up a.-.d
prolongs their lives. A ease ia ioiut;"' ',' ,
Mrs. Sclden an estimable and elderly lady ol
BIO MfiKoa St., 8. F. -was for mouths declining so
rapidly as to seriously alarm Lcr family.- It got'
so bad that she was finally a!3it-ted with, fainting
spells. . Sho writes: While In that dangerous
condiliou I saw some cC the testimonials con
cerning J.V. 8, and sent for a bottle. That marked
the turning point . I regained my lost flesh and
strength and have not felt so well in yean."
That was two years ago and lira. Belden is wen
and hearty toay, and still taking J. V. S. - :
I If you are old or feeble and want to be built up.
Ask for ' ''. . '' ' '- '
q Vegetable ;
v Sarsaparilla
Most modern, most effective, largest bottle,
Same price, $1.00, six for $5.00. : -"
For Sale by SNIPES & KINERSLy!
THE DALLES. OREGOX,
Health is Wealth !
Dr. E. C. West's Mkbvk ikb Bkain Tbkat
kemt, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervons Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental- De
pression, Soltening of the Brain, resulting in in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Powei
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, self
abuseor over indulgence, ' Each -box contains
one month's treatment. L00 a box, or six boxes
for $5.00, sent by mail prepaid, on receipt of price.,
WK GUARANTEE! SIX BOXES : ')
To cure any case.-With each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied by $3.00, we wlfi
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effec'
a cure. Guarantees issued only by . ,..'
: BLAKELBI HOUGHTON, .
Prescription Druggists, :
175 Second 8t. ',, :.., , - . Tke D olios. tr.f
, Ci,BVEiyASDj Wash., )
June 19tb, 1891.)
Medicine Co., ' . . i '.. .4
S. B.
. Gkntlemek Your kind favor received,
and in reply would say that I am more
than pleased with the terms offered me
on the last shipment of your medicines.
There is nothing like them ever intro
duced in this country, especially for La
grippe and kindred complaints. I have
had no complaints so: far, and everyone
is ready with a word of praise for their
virtues... Yours, etc.i, . . y .,,..,'
: '. ! i -i ' if . F. HACKLEY.
A Revelation.
Few people know that the
bright bluish-green color of
the ordinary teas exposed in
tne windows is not the nat
ural color. ' Unpleasant as the
fact may be, it is nevertheless
P'f artificial; mineral coloring
matter ' being used for this
purpose. The effect Is two
fold. It not only mokes the
tea a bright, shiny green, but also permits the
ue of " off-color " and worthless teas, which, -r
once under the green cloak, , are readily -',
worked off as a good quality of tea.
- An eminent authority writes on this luth
ject: The manipulation of poor teas, to give, .;
them a'finer appearance, is carried on csteu-.,.
sively. - Green teas, Teing In ' tbls country
especially popular, are produced to meet the'?
demand by coloring eheapcr bJack kinds by i
glaring or facing with Prussian blue, tumeric,
gypsum, and indigo. Thi method it so gen-
eral that very little genuine ttneotorcd green tea
it offered for tale."
'. It was the knowledge of this condition of
affairs that prompted the placing of Beech's .
Tea before the public It Is absolutely pure '
and without color.. Did you ever seo any '
genuine uncolored Japan tea ? Ask your;!
grocea to open a package of Beech's, and you ' '
will see it, and probably for the very first,
time. It will be found in color to be jast be
tween the artificial green tea that you have
' been accustomed to and the black teas.
It draws a delightful canary color, and Is so
: fragrant that It will bo a revelation to tea- f
drinkers.. ' Its purity makes ; It ols more : '
. economical than the artlflcial tens, for lest -of
it Is required per cup. Sold only in pound
packagesbearing this trade-mark: . - u
; If your grocer does not have it, he will get
It for you. Price 60c per pound. . For sale at
Xjeslld ,"STLi.i;Xx,,jE3, :
.THE DAlLES, oarr.oN.
THE DAIiliES GHRONICliE
is here and has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous
support. , jyi
will be to advertiee the resonrces of the city, and
adjacent country, to assist in developing ; our
industries, m extending and opening np new channels
lor onr rade; in securing an open river, and in
helping THE . DALLES to take her proper positioS
Its
Obi
will be to advertise the resources of the
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing our industries, in extending
and opening- up new channels for our
trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Leading City of Eastern Oregon.
four pages of siy columns each, -will be issued every
evening, except Sunday, and will be delivered in the
city, or sent by-mail for the moderate sum of flftv
cents a month. -; . r ;
;; -S just;; fair s and impartial
;iWeXw-aiendeaycri the 'local news, and
we ask that your criticism of out object and course
be formed ; from the nnntflnts nraa 1
irom rash assertions of outside parties. .i ; ;
! v i ; V
V";-'' 1 -r- .'i
sent to anv address fo-r :
contain from four to six eight column pages, and we'
shaU endeavor to make it the equal of the best.
Ask your Postmaster for a copy, or address. ;
THE CHRONICLE PUB; M
'.V
Office, N . W. Cor Wash
Dry Goods and Gothiiiff
The entire stock, of; N.' Harris
' .;, : .; Gents' Furnishing Goods ; will be sold at -'
Auction to the highest bidder for '
cash in
Sales held cvety night
II- r.
- J B; CROSSEN, Auctioneer.
flew .o. Qolumbia .6. j-lotel,
: r .'v! i-'f.'fi!' V THE ''nAXLES,:1 OREGON. "
Best Dollar a Day House on the Coast!
i ' :' H:' ': R rt-Ciass Meals, 25 Cents. '
First Class 'Hotei in Every Respect. :, v i
'f 'None but the Best of White Help Employed.
t T. T. flieholas, Ppop.
! .-. ?. ' 1 " .
4 SITUATED AT THE HEAD OF NAVIGATION.
Destined to be the Best
Manufacturing Center in
the Inland Empire. f
' . , For Further Information Call at the Office of
: Iiitef state Ifiiestmeiit Go., ;
0. p. TflUOn, THE OAUES. 72 WASHINGTON ST:, PORTUND
eets
ki f;n
i ngton arid Second. Sts
I
at Your Own Price.
consisting of General Dry
hand. '
commencing at 7 o'eioek.
Best Selling Property of ,;
' the Season In the North- .
west. .'
v t :