M WANTS A . FLOATING HOTEL.
Am. hthuluft TMm mt mm Ideal
IM-
amacr Hoarding House.
"Now t hat another summer u upon as,"
aid the perennial -crank, ."let me urge
wpon you newspaper men that you have an
' opportunity' to do a great act of philan
thropy for many hundreds of New . York
ers whose incomes will not allow them to
spend the dog days oat of the heated city,
ky persuading some capitalist to fit tip
big steamer for a .hotel. ' There's money
to it. ;
"Get a big steamer, or, better still, build
one with plenty of roomy staterooms, well
ventilated, with ample dining, ' smoking
and lounging-saloons, and two or three
.decks for promenade .and chairs. . Charge
the customary summer hotel rates, and let
the steamer have a pier near the Battery.
- "Let her start from that pier every eve
ning at the close of business and steam
aiowly outof the bay while her guests are
at dinner, .Then, let her touch her pier
.again in time for those who want to spend
the evening on shore. After these people
are landed on the pier let the steamer put
out from the shore and steam slowly about
in the cool evening air, while her passen
. ers amuse themselves in her saloons and
staterooms aud on her decks just as people
do in hotels. Just a little before midnight
. let the steamer steam up to her pier and
take on board those people who have been
at the theaters, etc., and then drop away
down the bay again for the night. -
"What refreshing and invigorating sleep
a man could get in that salty air. - Quiet
tad order could be preserved on board just
as well as iq a hotel, and in the morning
passengers could be landed fresh for busi
ness, while those who had no business in
the city could spend the whole day on board
if they liked.
"There need be little unpleasant bump
ing and noise of machinery, as only enough
steam would need to be kept up to insure
steerage way. No one would look, for
peed. The expenses would be as small
. as any other city hotel's, and I am certain
that people would just tumble over each
ether to get quarters on the ship. On those
rare occasions when the water was too
rough or the wind too boisterous the ship
eed not leave her pier at all, as the atmos
phere would be cool enough then down by
the Battery to render the night agreeable.
"Think of the thousands of New Yorkers
who must stay in the reeking hot city all
simmer. How they would jump at such a
boarding house! I tell you there's money in
it for the first capitalist that takes it up."
New York Tribune.
British Eccentricity.
It is bard for an Englishman to say
whether his own countrymen are really
wore eccentric than other people. He is
totd they are; but how is he to know that
tbe inforniatiou may not be built solidly
apoa prejudice? The saying, "Oh, he's an
Englishman," with the shrug of the shoul
ders that means so much, is often indeed
commonly put forward abroad when there
is talk of the doings of this or that man,
' whose ways are not like the ways of the
herd of mankind.
Some Englishmen don't appreciate this
sort of thing. They get in a rage with the
foreigner who charges them with being of
n eccentric race. . But, for my part, I
always take it as a compliment, bow and
express my obligations and assure the
speaker that 1 trust he does not intention
ally flatter me and tbe countrymen of
whom 1 am so proud.
On tbe other hand, however, every one
who has been even but for a few months
among the people of the Continent can not
help coming to the conclusion that we
English folk have not the monopoly of ec
centricity. All the Year Round.
Tea Will Detect Poisons.
"Tea," says a woman who knows, "clear
tea, without sugar or cream, is one of the
best of agents for the detection of suspected
poison. I remember stopping once, in my
travels, at a little count ry inn.whose buxom
landlady offered me some beautiful looking
waffles, beside which she sat down a small
pitcher of sirup. There was talk at that
time it was several years ago-about the
adulteration of some sirups, and this par
ticular pitcberful had a peculiar color
which I did no Hfce. So I asked her that
a cup of tea be brought to me first, and
when it came I took a teaspoonful of the
sirup and put it in.'
"Instantly the tea turned perfectly black,
snowing the presence of a mineral poison.
I dou't know that there would have been
enoituh to have done me serious harm, but
as I dou't care to take poison, even homeo
path icully, when 1 know it, I ate my waf
41es that day with butter and sugar. More
than that. I called the landlady's attention
to the clrc-ti instance, which resulted in ban
ishing nil ot that sirup she had in the
house." Her Point of View iu New York
Ti mes.
The llrifijht Side of Misfortune.
There is a woman in Bellevue hospital
who, though sick of a remarkable diffi
culty, is having a first rate time. She
doesn't suffer any pain at nIL Her right
eye is paralyzed, also the right side of her
mouth, the right side of her tongue and
the entire right side of everything, yet she
sleeps well, eats well and enjoys being an
object or interest. Having only one-half
of her Menses, she very wisely devotes all
that remain to her in sensing only the
. pleasant things of existence. She sees
things onlv out of her smiling eye; doesn't
anieli anything .that she doesn't want to
mnell: ouly tastes of what is good, care
fully putting obnoxious medicines over ion
the right side of, her mouth, where there
isn't any tonus. .
It must be quite charming to have this
power of discrimination and separation.
Think what a comfort a blind spot in one's
eyo may Im, aud then f aacy the joy of being
able to shut off half of .one's whole being
so that.it will b dead to the disagreeable
things Ju life. New. York Commercial
Advertiser. - :.
..' . r Tireri Standing.
Old Lady (in electric car) Dear met
We're going to have a thunderstorm.
Bad Boy (hanging to strap) I don't see
ao signs of it, tuutn. ,
Old Lady No signs?.' Why,4 tbe light
ning is beginning. See tbe flashes and
hear the thunder. , -
Bad - Boy That . ain't outside, mum.
That's in the car. I guess something's
wrong with the electric connections. .....
Old , Lady Goodness met . Conductor!
- Conductorl Stop the can I want to get off.
3ad Boy (taki ug her seat-l guess the old
lady.eau get into some store before she art.
wet. tieod News. -.. .
Inuring Kleotrle Carlos.
The-collection of electrical apparatus on
exhibition at Frankiort-on-tbe-Maiu has
been injured against fire and damages by
explosion to the extent of 3,300,000 marks
The risk has been undertaken by twenty
three of the principal Germ an insurance
offices. The value of the exhibittoa an a
whole is estimated at 7,000,009 msrbi --Hew
Vorfc TeJagrara.
A Copper Plata Found.
It was a piece of shining, bright metal,
and the fisherman's eyes were sharp.
'And thereby hangs a tale.
- It will be remembered that when the
barken tine Thomas J. Stewart stuck on
the ways and "refused to take to the
water one day last November, the tag
boat Ralph Boss went to her assistance.
After one or two sharp polls that were
ineffectual, all further proceedings were
stopped by the sadden breaking of the
post on the Ross to which was attached
the tow line of the T. J. Stewart.
Now, to this post was secured a large
copper . plate weighing about twelve
pounds, bearing the inscription' of the
builder's name, date of building and so
on. This plate dropped overboard with
the wreckage and was lost.
Wednesday a fisherman .attending, bis
weirs at Sandy point saw a glistening
object in the water; and after much dif
ficulty succeeded in obtaining possession
of it It was a copper plate bearing the
inscription which proved to be the one
lost from the tug Ralph Ross last No
vember. The plate was returned to Mr.
Ross on' Thursday at his office.
The query is, How did that plate reach
Sandy point, twenty-five miles away?
- It is hardly reasonable to say that the
current could have carried so heavy a
body so far down the river, and it is
readily explained by stating that the ice
in some underhand fashion obtained pos
session of, the -Ralph Ross passport, and
in its hurried journey to the south this
spring forgot to leave it behind.. It did
not travel . far under false pretenses,
however, but has - dropped its booty,
which is now returned to its proper
owners.
Mr. Ross is to have the plate polished,
handsomely framed and hung, on the
wall of his office on Exchange street as a
reminder of the queer things that Dame
Nature will sometimes do. Bangor.
News.
- How Old Masters Are Made.
Apropos de bottes, I find two curious
business advertisements in my foreign
papers. One is that of an ingenious per
son whose address is at the Batignolles,
and ' who announces himself as a "sig
naturist" and. a "monogramist," and
guarantees signatures of any artist at
any period of his art at a franc apiece.
Only think of itt For the price of a
pony of brandy at Delmonico's one may
convert any unidentified find of the
junkshop into a Rembrandt, a Velas
quez, a Millet, or whatever else one
chooses. ,
Moreover, this expert announces that
he "identifies" pictures for his clients.
A wizard capable of transforming pic
tures could naturally identify them by
the same process. There are some "col
lectors" in America whom it would pay
to make a trip to Paris and a visit to the
Batignolles. The demand for old mas
ters has stimulated the ingenuity of
some German genius in another direc
tion. A standing advertisement in the
leading art magazine of Germany is that
of a "competent artist," as he signs him
self , who offers, to furnish copies that
cannot be identified from the originals
of any pictures in any of the public col
lections. Collector.
Annihilated in Midair. .. .
About 3 o'clock, just before the heavy
shower; several gentlemen were sitting
in front of a store in West Nashville
when one of the party observed a large
turkey buzzard that was sailing majes
tically across the sky, and remarked that
if the buzzard did not look out he would
get wet
Their attention was thus called to the
bird, and all were lazily watching its
flight, when suddenly, just as it was op
posite to and above them, they were
blinded by a flash of lightning, which
seemingly exploded on the back of the
buzzard. They were astonished some
what, but recovered themselves and
looked for the buzzard, but. alas, the
majestic bird was outof sight. All that
was left of him was a few black tail
feathers, which fluttered pathetically to
the ground.
. Those who witnessed the phenomenon
succeeded in catching several of the
scorched feathers, which they exhibit in
corroboration of the story. Nashville
American.
Mr. Sears' Imported Baxorbacks.
; The Tamworth hogs, which J. Mont
gomery Sears has imported for breeding
purposes, are an old English breed char
acterized by the large proportion of lean
meat to the fat in its make up. It has of
late"been overlooked in the effort to breed
for fat. hence has seldom been mmtinnul
or heard of. Mr, Sears has called public
attention to the breed by his importa
tions, and still- others now have them
under triaL They are medium in size,
light in the shoulder, deep sided, and
irather fat as compared with the modern
models, and "red" in color, Their recom
mendation , is. that they are unlike the
'rounded balls of fat that have been fur
nishing us our models. Bangor Com
xnerciaL - .
A Boy Treed by a Wild Cat..
! Charlie Heath, of Brooks, a boy six
teen years old, was attacked in that
"town the other day by a strange anim
jprobably a wildcat.. The boy- saw the
Ssnimal in a tree aud ' threw, a stone at it.
Thereupon the animal sprang down upon
the boy and they had quite is fight, in
which the clothes of young Heath were
torn, his head and face and parts of his
Body badly scratched. The boy then
managed to climb a tree and with his
heavy boots would kick the animal down
aa it tried to get to him. After some
Name the beast became tired of this and
Islunk away. Lewiston Journal. , ,
; , - .
.... Millions In Sawdaat. ' ' ' .
' A well known mechanic of Portland,
Me., is about taking out a patent on an
invention for converting ' the sawdust
and other waste from mills into a wood
pulp of peculiar strength and quality
that he says can be utilized for nearly
every purpose in which wood is used. If
half his claims prove true his invention
'is a . most valuable one. One of the
jlargeet business houses in Portland have
offered the inventor the free use of ona
trf their factories for a year for expeti
aneutinff pwpoaat. New YorkTelec-ram.
Water Tbat Lost a Customer.
. It is fun to watch the pineapple man. .
' He is a generous fello- and the slabs
of pine that he cute off and retails for a
nickel jwe thick and sweet, and his trade
islarge, ' ; -.-
i Unto .Him clerks, - hewsboys and mil
lionaires tm. the livelong day to re
fresh themselves with fruit He peels
arid cuts and cuts and peels: and still the
demand continues.. : -. . -.
A Wall-street banker stops and buys a
piece; an-editor refreshes his inner man
with a slab of pine; a street gamin whee-.
dies a nickel slice but of the old man for .
a penny. An old, decrepit woman, with,
a cheek us hard as that of the statue of
Liberty, comes - up and asks him for a
slice.- - The pineapple man looks at her a
minute, subtracts a thin slice from the
heap and gives it to, the beggar, and she
goes on her way rejoicing.
At last the curbstone merchant gets
out his dinner pail and eats a hearty
meal. It never occurs to him to flavor
it with some of his luscious stock in
trade, and he goes dessertless. .
When he is through he takes out a
very small tin pail of water and sprin
kles some of it upon the fruit to keep it
from getting dry. Then he carefully
washes his hands in the pail, and then,
oh, heavens! he carefully covers up the
pail, as if water were precious under the
shadow of the postoffice and with the
free drinking fountain not thirty feet
awayl '' ' ' ' ' "'.-
.Thank you, not today! "'1 was going to
treat myself to pines, but something has
suddenly stolen my appetite away.
New York Herald. . : '
", Tho Neglect of tho Groom.
A person about to be married has sent
in a complaint for public consideration
against the constant neglect which the
bridegroom receives from the press, from
the friends of the contracting parties
and often from their immediate families.
All interest centers in the bride, whose
dress is described in voluminous detail,
whose bouquet is not considered beneath
mention, and- whose face, blushing be
neath her veil, is the most pleasing at
traction of the wedding. ,
The bridesmaids, lovely girls, flutter
ing in . dainty colors, are worth more
than a passing notice. The ushers, the
guests, and even the organist, are spoken
of in an appreciative manner. Some
times there is consideration shown to the
sexton of the church. But where is the
groom? There are columns of descrip
tions of weddings in the daily press, and
in these columns the personality of the
groom is passed over without a glimmer
of apology. - . . - - ;-
How does the groom dress? '. What is
his choice of flower? Do his gloves fit?
Are his shoes of patent leather? Nobody
knows these interesting details, although
they are undonbtedly important to the
neglected man. His presence is supposed
from occasional mention : of the "young
couple," and he probably may be seen
skulking around the corner of the pul
pit: but he is evidently in a - hurry for
the Completion of the matter. It is not
his occasion. Unfortunate man, he is the
chief and notable instance of "Hamlet
left out of Hamlet" Boston Jotirrial.
Couaolence In the Sleeping .Mati'. . '
- Dreams have been regarded as an In-"
teresting subject study ever since
scientific thought was bom. " Locke, the
essayist on the human understanding,'
was of the opinion that a man. did not
think at all when really- asleep, "while
modern investigators id; this line 'Of
research believe that thought ' no more
ceases during sleep than a watch prop-;
erly wound runs down in the night. . ' '
. According to their notion; under such
conditions the mechanical functions of
the mind are active, though uncontrolled
by the-judgment, and ' thus it happens
that one's dreams are apt to be' unreason
able and even absurd. : ;:
Could anything be more interesting
than to trace tho progress of a dream, if
it were Only possible? Think of theva
rietyof experiences through which one
would be conveyed,, untrammeled by
the limitations of common sense which
restrict one's waking thoughts, and freed
from the moral responsibilities that en
?niaber the doings . of ordinary life.
Probability sets no bounds to the dream
er's vision, and even conscience is dor
mant, since the most righteous of men do,
on occasions, misbehave themselves most
shockingly in the strange Land of Nod.
Washington Star. '.
A Bird's Waterproof Nest.
Being ont on a prospecting tour in the
mountains and having some. knowledge
of birds and beasts in their native haunts,
I was on the alert for anything I could
see. One day while we were wading a
inonntain stream in Skamania county,
W ash., I saw a water ousel leave a water
fall some twenty feet above i the stream'
we were in. By helping my'companion
np the rocks he was enabled to reach the.
place where the bird had left, and was
rewarded by finding the nest, a splendid
waterproof nest," built in a crevice of the
rocks where the water was .pouring oyer
and partly onto the fore part of the nest
1 now, have it and one egg at home in
Vancouver, Wash., as a relic of our trip.
tieorge Mitchell in Portland Orego-
la It To or Too? '
The violation of the particle "to" is a
sin of continual growth, and not merely
by that insertion of an . adverb ' between
it and the body of the verb censured by
Taylor, but by total dislocation, as in
such cases as "try to," "mean to," "going
to" aud "obliged to.. . Dr. Watts has
been taxed with its perpetration in a
well known line which occurs in ' his
didactic rhyme for children, "Let dogs
delight to bark ami bite:" the probable
truth being that he- wrote not "For 'tis
their nature "to.' " but, "For 'tis their na
nature (id est, the nature of bears and
tigers to growl and fight.) 'too. " " A mis
print here is vastly more conceivable
than an ungramin&tical trip on the part
of Dr. Watts. Notes and Queries
ttetleent.
CI e v erton Was Miss Griggson bored
by my talk last night? r - , . ..
-. Dashaway I coaldat get her- to say.
Saw Trk Trath. -. , .
pimples.
; "Jh'e old idea of 40 year ago was that facial
crupuuua were uuo to a "blood humor," for
which they gave potash.'- Thus all the old Sana.
pftrillas contain potash, a most objectionable and
drastic mineral, that instead of decreasing,
actually creates more, eruptions. You have no
ticed .this when taking other SarsapariUaa than
Joy's. It is however now known that the stom
ach, the blood creating power, is the seat of all
vitiating or cleansing operations. A stomach
clogged by indigestion or constipation, vitiates
the blood, result pimples, A clean stomach and'
healthful digestion purines it aud they disappear.
Thus Joy's Vegetable Sarsaparilla is compounded
after the modern idea to'regulare tho bowels and
stimulate the digestion. -The effect is immediate
and most satisfactory. A short testimonial to
contrast tho-action of the potash Sarsaparillag
and Joy's modern vegetable preparation. . Mrs,
C D. Stuart, of 400 Hayes St., 8. F., writes: "I
have for years hod indigestion, I tried a popular
Sarsaparilla but it uctiiaily ratt-seii more pimples
to break oct on my face, lit arlng that Joy's was
slater preparation aud acted dincrcntly, I tried
tt and -the pimples im mediately disappeared."
Joy'
Vegetable
Sarsaparilla
" Largest bottle. Inost er&vtlrc, same price,
For Sale; by. SNIPES K1NEBSLY.
. ... ..THE DALLES. OREGON.'-'
. '.'. . Cleveland, Wash., )
':v. June 19th, 1891.)
S. Bs Medicine Co.,
Gentlemen Your kind favor received,
and in reply would say that I am more
than pleased with the terms offered me
on the last shipment of your medicines
There is nothing like them ever intro-
dnced in this country, especially for La
grippe and kindred complaints. I have
had no complaints so far, and everyone
is ready with a word of praise for their
virtues. lours, etc.,
M. F. Hackley.
2arestrictot
Finer CUas
Ta Karness. Fastest and Vint I- b. nri
FMsener accomodations unexcelled.
EW YORK. LONDONDERRY AND 6U8B0W.
NEW YORK, oiSAllxK'X' and NAPLES.
. . At refrnlar Intervals.
" i LIT " lrum me principle
800TCH, EHOLISH, QI83 a ILL C0OTIS1HIAL POINTS-
E,,r"i?.fT?ea,l15 ? return by eltber the pio-
l 2" . " Naples ft OibralUu
Da; E. C. West's Nbkvb and Brain Tbkat
mknt, n guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Softening of the Brain, resulting In in
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death.
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Powei
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, self
abuse or over indulgence. Each box contains
one month's treatment. 11.00 a box, or six boxes
for $5.00, sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price.
' WE GCAKASTEE SIX BOXES .
To cure any case. With each order received b
us for six boxes, accompanied by to. 00, we will
send tbe purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effec
a cure. Guarantees issued only by
IILAKK1KY i HOUGHTOX,
Prescription Drug-gists,
ITS Movfind St. The Dalles. Or.
A Revelation.
' Few people know that the
bright bluish-green color of
the ordinary teas exposed in
the windows Is not the nat
ural color. Unpleasant as the
fact may be, it is nevertheless
artificial; mineral coloring
matter being used for this
purpose. The effect is two
fold.. It not only makes the
tea a bright, shiny green, but also permits the
IN of K off-color" and worthless teas. Which,
once under the green, cloak. . ara ..readily
worked off as a good quality of tea. -
An eminent authority writes on' (his sub
ject: " The manipulation of poor teas, to give
- them a'flner appearance, is carried on exten
sively. Green teas, being , in this, country
, especially popular, are produced to meet the
' demand by coloring cheaper black kinds by .
glazing or facing with Prussian blue, tumeric
. gypsum, and iudlgo. ' TltU method i as gen
eral thai very little eemuine uneotared green tea.
i offered for tale." t -
It was tbe knowledge of this condition of
affairs that prompted the placing of Beech's
Tea before tbe public. It is absolutely purs
and without color. Did you ever soe any
genuine nneolored Japan tea? Ask your
grocer to open a package of Beech's, and yun '
will see it, and probably for the very first
time. It will be found in color to be just be
tween the artificial green tea that yoa have
been accustomed to and tbe black teas. "
It draws a delightful canary color, and Is so
fragrant that it win be a revelation to tea
drinkers. Its purity makes it also more
economical than the artificial teas, for les.
of It is required per cup. Sotdonly in pound
packages bearing this trade-mark :
beeciMtea
TureAWdhood:
It row grocer does no bare it, he will gel
tt iovrewk-Ptleeeoeperpoaad. Foraateai
Leslie SSixtleri
TH DaXUM, OKGO. - ' .
Health is Wealth !
Dalles
is here and has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous
support.
. - - )
The Daily
-will Toe to advertise tlie resources of the city, and
adjacent country, to assist in developing onr
industries, in extending and opening up new channels
for our trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping THE DALLES to take her proper position
as the
-
Its Objects
will be to advertise the resources of the
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing our industries, in extending
and opening up new channels for our
trade, in securing
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Leading City of
four pages of siy columns each, will be issued every
evening, 'except Sunday, and will "be delivered in the
city, or sent by mail for the moderate sum of fifty
cents a month.
JUST, FAIR AND IMPARTIAL.
' f T -
j We will ehdeavcr to give all the local news, and
we ask that your, criticism of out object and course,
be formed from the contents of the paper, and not
from rash' assertions of outside parties. -
THE WEEKLY,
sent to any address for $1.50 per year,- It will
contain from four to six eight column pages, and we
shall endeavor to make it the equal of the best;
Ask your Postmaster for a
THE CHRONICLE PUB. CO.
Office, N. W. Cor. Washington and Second. Sts
an open river, and in
Eastern Oregon.
" . '
copy, or address.