REVERIE OF A BACHELOR.
8mkM ailid fjre&ni. and "Tbil "Makes
Ip Hla Mind to Light Fresh Cigar.
Pufin-.-This cigar cost a pretty penny
loo is execrable. 1 feel like throwing
it away, only blowing the smoke into
rings' is an amusement that I hate to
forego. Puff! Now, that ring is a posi
tive work of art: ' Pity it has to go up
in smoke. Rings of smoke they are
ery like marriage rings. : The delusion'
lasts about as long. They are infinitely
more amusing and iess wearisome.
Fancy being married! B-r-rl No more
feohemianism. no cakes . and ale nor
champagne, either no pipes and punch.
Instead a drowsy fire a clatter of
dishes from th'e kitchen a wife knitting
ocks for the inevitable family.' Later
a full ' fledged paterfamilias buying
groceries and paying money to the school
book trusts growing posy over "when 1
-was a young . fellow, sir,. ' ,L shudder to
think of it. . ''
Besides, it is so much pleasanter to
play at playing the game than '.really to
play it. It is very pleasant to make love
and that is why marriage is so un
pleasant; one can't make love then.
Making love is a game that should al
"ways be played on: the progressive plan.'.
"With 'the ;sairif partner always7 it be
comes dreadfully monotonous. It is for
that reason that I l?'tv the married man.
To flutter from -flower -to flower, -never
iieMowrtng, affection on any; but affecting
to adore all that is the bachelor's priv
ilege. ,
Bat. yon say, one cannot' make love
-with . gray hairs. . An old . .bean - is the
most ridiculous of men. Yes, yon are
right. ' But it is not necessary to be al
ways making love. As one, grows old
there are so many other hobbies.--'.-
Puff! How 'blue that smoke is! "A
kind of fading, ethereal bine,- not tang
ible in words or . from the, palette., A
blue like the blue of a pair of eyes ah,
what glorious eyes' .they are-set'; in , a
marble d White' frame like, the bine and
white loves of Dresden china r . ,
1 wonder, by the way.' if she meant all
he said with those eyes at the Bron-
aona that nightl She said a good deal.. J
She is really not naif bad. Rose Alwm
pretty- .name-rather. '.Rose-nm.
she will fitill- be1 Rose if : Well the
fact is betweerfTne $.nd the blu.smpke
her face has" been'hadnting. me 'like a
jrhoet. 1 might marry the ghost. Prom
treat ' tier ': eyes r ' said ! that -nignt he
wouldn't say no. If I were to throw
away this .cigar put, on, t my hat. and
gloves, and go tS her-r-whatith exquisite
joke, it would be-opnsidering t what , I
said' about ' marriage 'just 'now' ,' 'Puff!
By jove. I will do itl Pah.'goodbVv ci
gareven bad things have an. end. This
What's that? The city post. B?m.
Dan's - bills. Ah a woman's hand.
"Whaat? ' "-'Mr. and; Mrs. ''Alwinan
nounce the wedding of their daughter,'
Boae" : . ,;. -"""
:' Cgii-'- 'Howchili'the 'room seems: I
must light a fresh cigar. J. Percy Pol
lard in Epoch. '' i ,
A -Oncer Distinction In California.
There were spme-ef. difltncticjns in
titoee1 -dars. '- One Sunday, going to the
'butcher's booth,. I .found a customer
ahead of me, who inquired 'if ne could
sot have a piece of a liver which was
tanging on a tree in ptain sight ' '
- "Don't know if yon ,can or not, said
the butcher. . '
"Td like to know why? I've'' been
trading 'with.1 youj all along, and .never
asked for liver before: but, 1 want some
variety now." - .
"Stand around and let me look at you.
.No, you can't have any liver."
. -Well. why?. ,;..:..'.
"There ain't ' enough to go round. 1
- - i I .
have to have some rule about givin' it
out, ana i , nave aeciaea that no miner
an haver a' scrap of liver from me unless
lie wears a canvas patch on the seat of
his pants." ..'......
" "The canvas patch was a badge of prece--dence
as well-recognized in our camp on
the Trinity as the star of the Order of
the Garter is in Great Britain. E. Q
Waite in Century. ,: ;"" ' t -
Foreign Interference tn Our Affairs.
Fortunately and wisely, we have thus
far steered clear of ''entangling alli
ances, with the single and limited ex
ception 6f onr treaty of 1846 with ' New
Granada respecting the transit of the
Isthmus of Panama; and by thus follow
ing the policy of careful abstention from
all interference in the domestic ques
tions and local issues of other nations,
-we are enabled more . consistently to
heck and repel any impertinent or prag
matical attempt by foreigners to inter
meddle with our domestic policies or to
dictate- alterations in our carefully ar-
ranged aistriDunon or powers, it may
as well be understood that, desirous as
we are of pursuing policies of peace,
comity and : reciprocal advantage with
' all nations, we will never so lower tjie
standard of our independence as to
change.. the 'form and 'principles .of ovlt
government' to accommodate strangers
who come among' us' voluntarily and in
pursuit of their individual tastes and
fortunes. Ex-Secretary.-Bayard in. Fo-
A Chinese Girl's Life.
The Chinese girl's education begins at
six years of age. Then she ' trihst submit
'to" the bandaging of her feet.'wbjch"cfuel
custom cripples the poor child and
causes her untold . suffering. ,. .Bat . as
small feet are' considered' a mark of great
beauty this arbarous custom, which
has obtained In China- for ages,'- is Still
practiced.- The bandages are changed
as often as they become soiled, but the
practice continues until'theVglrl re5he
the age of nineteen. vi6metimes,.wheu
about ten, the bones of the toe are broken
to prevent further growth.
At nineteen the girl is married. . But
coor tshito, -' as' j.t : is ; Itno wn among t (is
ArnnririnnA. f& Tint. rtnnerRtrVKi nr tnlprater
Xthe.'ChineseJ 'Mutual affection .is5 hot
.fdundation'of the marriage." but' the
'ren are betrothed in mfancv bv
parents, and -when 'grown- art
o fulfill the engagement. Phil
Times. . -
glovecomes on too. easily denced pad
form.' 'jmhfVjv' dust '.will' sejtjtl.e oq'a
tnin'fi hat " Mmst 1 tViinb- Ml An
Woirrrtrrt- Accent-It; ' '
People who strive to elevate certain
classes m toe eotfiat taory -often Una. to
their 8ur)ritiev ---that these very persocu
jealously, guard -the barriers of. class ti.a-
tinctions. The following illustration of
that fact is given by the author of "Four
Tears in Rebel Capitals." .-'..-Ci : J
A . Richmond lady had a maid who
devoted 1 and constant to her mistress,
still burned with curiosity for a sight of
everything pertaining to . "Mars' Lin-
kum s men. and especially for -de
skule." - -
For swift, indeed, had newcomers been
to preach the gospel of Alphabet, and
negro schools - seemed to have been
brought in by every army ambulance,
so numerously did they, spring up in the
captured - capital. So: .early; .one day
Clarissa Sophia donned her very best,
and with shining face hied her like any
thing but a snail td school, j , ' . . ,
Very brief was her absence; her Teturn
reticent, but pouting and with unduly
tip tilted nose.
It soon, came out that the 'teacher had
begun by impressing the children with
the fact .that all present were born "free
and equal. and ' that each of them was
quite as good as she was. .
s Wa dat yo's savin now? interrupted
Clarissa Sophia. , ;"Yp say Tse : jes' ekal
as yo isr
"Yes. I said so. and I will prove it to
you. , J. S..r U . Y.
"Ho! "taint no need," was the response.
Reck'n I'is,'"6ho"hnff. ' But does yo say
dat I'se trood as missus, my missus?
Ij rtoihT ypia fop?" '
uen i se jes gwme out yere, rignt
off, cried Clarissa Sophia, suiting action
to word. "Ef I'se . good as nay 'missus.
Vae goin' ter quit, feer . 1 jes know she
ent 'soshiatin' wid -: no sich. white trash
like you is!"
One on Barn am.
When Sen&tor' Mahone, of Virginia.
came here .m March, 1881; to -take his
seat in ; the- United States senate - the
whole country was excited as to his
party affiliation V The senate was close.
On , , the -. little Virginian. . everything
depended- The Democrats hoped to
capture him. So did the Republicans.
The r attentions which the new. senator
was shown were very amusing,- and he
enjoyed them .sp much; that he delayed
the declarations of his "political position
for some weeks. While things were m
this uncertain! condition and' the' whole
country lwas1 wondering' ,Mr , ,Mahone,
sitting in' his room one evening, received
atari' .H:.f ;
"Show the gentleman ud." he said.
The mail', who was a perfect stranger to
the. eenatori; entered, put his.-natroi a
table, shook hands and sat down and
proceeded at once to business in this
style: " 1 y- . : (- v
"My nairie is P. T.' Barnum. You
have' probably heard of me. I am just
starting put on. y summer tour .with
the.greatest m6ral show1- artlr.' - 1
have called tojmake' yon a plain proposi
bon.. Li yon will travel with me this
Bummef I will give' yon $10,000 a month.
lJiavegot Jumbo,. the biggest elephant
ever brought to the United States, and
with yon, mjr .attractions; will., be com
plete. Will you accept?"
.Mahone. is A proud Virginian and a
niiDionjiireiBat he: didn't, get angry.
He replied pelitely, declining the propo
sition, and the great showman withdrew.
This story is told by the senator.. Wash
ington Lietter: ' x - - -
The Mexican Messiah.
rnma. racie, ireiana nas not only a
good claim, but really the - best claim to
be the. Tlapallan orjheMexicans. " If is
the most" western part oT"Enrope; it is
insular, and in the earlier centuries of
the Christian 'era'' was - known as the
"Holy Island." Between A. D. 500 and
A.' D. 800 it was' 'the' most" active center
of ." missionary enterprise inVEuroDe'.' and
its missionaries were ' conspicuous above
all others for their daring maritime ad
ventures. It is natural, therefore, to
suspect that Ireland may have been the
home of Qnetzatcoatl. and. if that were
so, to expect that .early. Irish records
wonld contain some : references to him
and his extraordinary voyage.
Upon this the. inquiry suggests itself
Do the early Irish chronicles, which are
voluminous and minute, contain any
thing relating to a missionary voyage
across the Atlantic at all corresponding
to that which Qnetzatcoatl must .'have
taken from, some part of western Europe!
To one who, step by step, had arrived
at this stage of the present inquiry, it
was not a little startling to come across
an obscure and almost forgotten record.
which is, in all . its -. main, features, in
most striking conformity with" the Mex
lean legend of .QuetzacoatL This is the
curious account of a transatlantic voy
age of a certain Irish ecclesiastic named
St Brendan in the middle of the Sixth
century-about 'A; D. 550. The narra
tive appears to- have attracted little or
no attention in modern times, but it was
widely diffused through the middle ages
Dominick ' Daly : in Popular Science
Monthly.
j.-. -,- A Chinese Opinion. ""
' It is impossible'', to understand these
barbarous people. ' One thing is certain
if they do a thing they do it with all
their might. ..Thirty years ago they had
& big civil was. The whole country was
turned into military camps and battle
fields, and everybody, even to the worn
en folk, .were engaged in the war in one
way or anotoer, ana pne -army numoereu
2,uuu,uuu men. Ana now there are
young men, old enough to vote, who had
never seen a company of soldiers in their
life.
-; ;In fact these people seem tv think
that another war will never , break out
especially in their part of the world.
A-person can travel -clear across the
Affliericaii". continent without seeing
soldier, and follow the main lines ot
travel too; ' In fact, at the present time.
there is only about one soldier for every
5,uw peisona-wuiie. rbussii pas one, sol
dier. to every ninety. Peking Gazette f
Miss Frostique Mr. Brown met me in
the dark hallway last night and kissed me.
Miss Caustiqu- Mistakes will happen
Munsey's Weekly.
CHEAP TURKISH BATHS:
A CLEVER GIRL'S SCHEME TOR
STEAM BATHING AT HOME. ;
An Old Chair.' Pieces of Cast Off Water
proofs. Alcohol and Feminine Ingenuity
Form an Interesting Combination The
Details of Her Method.
'During' the winter I do not have the
enthusiasm about bathing that 1 do the
very first warm spring day," said a girl
to a friend of hers one pleasant day:
and then the baths cost so much."
: ''Yes. 1 have, learned that to my sor
row The bath itself is always one dol
lar, a bit of cracker and a taste of wine
is half as much more, and then my bangs
are straight when 1 am through, but 1
have solved the problem now.".
'How? So it won't cost so much? Oh.
do tell us alL" . v .
Obt 1 have rigged up a Turkish bath
which only costs a cent an hour..
For goodness sake where? I thought
yon lived in a flat." -
:I have it in my Toom where I can sit
and steam away all day. if 1 choose, with
out disturbance. ' ' ' "
.But doesn't it take up lots of room?"
,-fOh, no, not at alL" :
; "Then just sit down and tell us ' all
about it." -
"1 took a low seated, high backed
grandfather's . chair, which .mother had
banished from the parlor, because you
knowevery one has one now, and nailed
narrow strips of wood in, such a manner
as to form a canopy-like top to it. ..Then.
yon know, like every one else, 1 had sev
eral old mackintoshes or gossamers in
the old clothes closet, which from hav
ing sprung a leak about the shoulder or
like cause had. been thrown, aside.
;. HOW SHE -MANAGES. . ...
Cutting out the best parts of these. I
bound the edges of several pieces I had
fitted to the frame with tape, and in the
corners and at intervals along the edges
made strong button holes and fastened
the whole by means of ' these toenail
heads 1 had left. , projecting., about ope
half, inch from the framework: - These
pieces can be. buttoned on . and taken off
in few moments.- When on- the back
and -Asides .of the chair and top; being
covered squarely and neatly ; look like a
high box. In front, another piece falls
down to the seat with .a small piece like
a. little window cut .put of the middle to
breathe through. .. ;.,. -,
-tThis being finished, yon want a small
foot tub placed in front of; the chair and
filled,' when you are ready to use it, with
b6rwater: ,'-.p;sr . r.-x-w
1' thihk'every' one should'' have in her
roomT a one , burner ' oi ; stove ' ot a small
jgas, stove, by "means of which one may
naye. water tnat is not only not, out bou-t
ing, at wilXl,;; tl; i .lU' ,
"Place such a one on a chair at hand,
with a pan of hot water with which to
k'eep"tnaTin"t'5e"foot 'tuDrepTenisHecC"Tf
yon have . not. .a shower, bath.- have i ready
crloateT foFa iightning' spcmge'loaih.
clanfl a unejauag, jm ajancer aod.ponr
on it a teaspoonful of alcohol and set be
neath ."the chaiK-- .": f:-T
Oov yes; ; 1 ttied that once when i had
a t)McoWcomingon,and I nearJy.roasted
"Oh, but if yon just tack a piece of
cardboard on the front of the chair, just
wide enough to protect the" limbs from
the blaze and 'have the seat of wood, "or
else: ' well : padded; ' yon - wUl . have hit
trouble 1 . :: -- v
; V'lt is '4 bother to get all ; these" 'things
together,' but once (raving done so it .is
best to put the'm away in such a manner
as to be easily accessible. , . , ... : ., :
."Notice. how all evidence of it may be
disposed of afterward. , ' The pieces but
toned on to the nail heads may be taken
off in a moment, . the steam wiped off
the , waterproof surf ace, and 'they may
be aired at the window while you are
picking up the other things.
. IT TAKES CP LTTTUE . BOOM. .
'- 'When emptied the tub must be thor
oughly dried over the register,, the bath
towels and : wraps - put : away. A ; neat
drapery of muslin or heavier stuff may
be arranged ; like a canopy'' about the
chair, and a dainty cushion and valance
will conceal the tub in which the folded
pieces of mackintosh are laid, -and the
whole may be stowed away beneath the
chair. 1 "' - - :- :'"' ' :
: '' it is obvious that if the chair is hot
available a simple framework could be
made up by a. yarpenter at low cost,' or,
a bright girl with., a large bedroom or
bathroom at. command could . utilize two
packing boxes for the same purpose with
better effect, if any. than the chair bath,
although "she almost hopeless ugliness of
two packing boxes is a drawback. - "
"And now for the bath.7 '' " ;- -'
'"' 'You disrobe as usual, and lifting np
the curtain with, the little window in it,
step . into '. the . warm footbath , and sit
down in the chair.. Tuck the quilted lap
robe about your knees, letdown the cur
tain .and , put one hand -out: and drop
- a lighted match into the teaspoonful of
alcohol in the saucer: -
- 'Braw your hand in and close every
crevice, to keep the hot air. in. If .you
can. stand it put more of - the alcohol in
the saucer at intervals,-but don't, try
more than on? teaspoonful at once.- The
hot, dry air at first makes yqu feel faint,
but when; the' perspiration- breaks ; out
yon can ' just' sit and, sizzle : In comfort.;
After fifteenihihute8 1 'generally 11 take
the.bath jnitten and plenty of soap and
water and scrub off the perspiration. : '-; , ,.
'..,'j'Tien.l, bun?', aiwtry teaepppqfnj' of
alcohol, and when 1 get; well warmed up
in the hot air l.take a quick bath in cold
water'.mto which-1 .have put a prepara
tion of gum' benzoin, then with a quick
rubbing with a coarse towel 1 jump into
my bath blanket and into bed for a nap."
New York.Wprld,,,- ; - .
,:;: "'-Traii ii.fttghur ''- '-.
"' Mrs. " Bihks;- Goorge. . Francis ( Train
says, that , people will wake up some
morning and find - that- Jay Gould has
lost every dollar -v'
Mr. Binks- That's so, every word of it.
-"My goodness' .-When, will it be. do
yon think?"-. ' !.
. -When he dies," New York Weekly.
J1IIPES & RUiERSLY;
Winlesafe and Mail Urciists.
-DEALERS IN-
Fine Imported, Key West and Domestic
CIGARS.
PAINT
' Now is the time to paint your house
and if you wish to get the best quality
and a fine color use the ' .
Sherwin, Williams Cos Paint
For those wishing to see the quality
and color of the above paint we call their
attention to the residence of S. L. Brooks,
Judge Bennett, Smith French and others
painted by Paul Kreft.
- Snipes & Kiuersly are agents for the
above paint for The Dalles. Or.
Don't Forget the
' . -i- Al -.J ii ::-! I.-". '
ESST
MacDonalJ Bros., Props.
THE BEST OF
fines, LjpoB And Cigars
' ALWAYS ON HAND. ' "
d. e. bayard & do.,
Heal Estate,
Insuanee,
and Loan
AGENCY.
Opera House Bloek,3d St.
Chas. Stubling,
, ' ' PEOPBIETOB Of'lHl"'' l '
New Vogt Block, Second St:
- '
. WHOLESALE AND RETAILS
Liquor v Dealer,
MILWAUKEE BEER ON DRAUGHT.
Health is Wealth !
"wtf r. Joi fcf Jt.Ii-'i .fi.-ji:--- j..a v
Be. E.,G. Wbst' -NBBva;-AKB Bbiih TBiit
xbnt, a guaranteed speclDC for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fita, N errous - Kenralgla,
Headache, N errous Prostration eaused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Softening of the Brain, resulting in in
sanity and leadine to mi&erv. .denav and deitth-
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in eiwer sex, involuntary ixwses ana Bpermat
orrhcea caused by over exertion of the brain, self-
abuse or over Indulgence. , Each box contains
one month's treatment, f 1.00 a box, or six boxes
lor so.uu, sent Dy maii.prepaia on receipt oi. price.
, WK OUARANTEE SIX BOIES .
10 cure any case. , with each order receive by
us for six boxes, accompanied by 15.00, we will
send the nurchaser onr written enarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effect
core, uuarantees issued only Dy ,
J., . BLAKELET HOUGHTON, ' j '';.'
(i Prescription ItrxigglBtB, .
175 Second St. ;. .'.... The Dalles, Or,
YOU NiSED 'BUT ASK
MiDDLB-'VAtlETS'taahb. Kav IX 1891
- Dr. Vanderpool: Yonr-8. B. Headache and
Liver Cure sells well here. Everyone that tries
m wn,
It comes for the second bottle. People are com
ing ten to twelve miles to get a bottle to trv
and then they come back and take three or fcVnr
bottles at a time. Thank you, 'or sending du p
ilcate trill as mine as displaced. I 1
. Respectfully. ' J
' - ' M. A.r TfLETCHER. '!
- For sale by all DruerKista. - j
tub Dalles Honicle
is here and Has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way .to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous
support. -''-V --
The
four pages of six columns each, will be
issued every evening, except Sunday,
and will be delivered in the city, or sent
by mail for the moderate sum of fiftj
cents a month
Its
will be to advertise
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing oiiir mdustries, in extending
and opening up new channels for ; our
trade, in securing an open river' and in
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Wing City of
e paperv"botK dail Qd weekly,
be inaeencleM' in ' politics, and in ' its
criticism of pdUtidal matters'
handling ot local afiairs,4 it "wiir hd '
1 just, i air "And impartial
We will endeavor' to give ali liie lo-
cal nqws;an'd r
of our; qTbject' and cbUree; be formed from
the contents of the paper, and not from
rash assertions of outside parties.
sent to any address
it will contain trom: four, to six eight
column pages; and we shall ehdeavor
to mkke it the equal of the best: Ask
your Postmaster for a copy, or address.
THE CHRONICLE PUB. CO.
Office, N. W. Cor. Washington and Second Sts.
1HE
The Gate City of the Inland. Empire is situated at
the head of navigation on the Middle Columbia, and
is a thriving,-prosperous, city-i en u- ;
!, : 'i; ITS TERRJTjOHY.:
It is the supply city for an extensive and rich agri-;
cultural an grazing country, its trade reaching as
far south as Summer Lake, a ' distance of over;t"wc ;
hundred miles.x .;.'-: "...:..- -wi-w; .
: ; . , THE jliARQEST WOOL MARKET. "... .
. The rich :grazLng";:icd slope
of the the Cascades furnishes pasture for thousands
of sheep, the -vc'bo'l from which finds m arket here: '
The 'Dalles is the- largest original -wool ' shipping
point' ix, jAinericaij ' about '. 5,000,000 . pounds being
shipped last-yearr- li; '1 ".",-..-. . . ;
'b X' ''JTS PRODUCTS.. . '
:.The..salmi3n:nsheri0s.are' the finest oh the Columbia,
yielding-this year aTevenue of $1,500,000,, whicH can
andt5eoe::thah
The products of i;he beautiful'. Klickital- valley find
market . her6vahd: the country south and east has this.
year filled' the -warehouses,' and all '.available ' storage
places to overflowing with their .products. : '
t . .t,-.-,- ... . .- v,, i..: ;- ftiTS;: WEALTH ! r'.-.-V ' , : -V
It is the richest city ''of it& size on the coast, and its.
more farming country than is tributary to anyother
crty in Eastern Oregon;.:-' ; u ? ,- ... -j u:.t-r-
i Its situation is 'unsurpassed! Its climate; delight
ful Its possibilities incalculable! Its-rcscrurces un
limited! And on these corner stones she stands.'
Daily
eets
the resources of the
r v , : .
Eastern Oregon.
''y, y. i ,
Jo, ff r.,
for $1.50 per year.
-1
BAIjIjES
J -1 . : ! .