0
HELPING OUT NATURE.
ALL PARTS OF THE BODY SUP
PLIED EXCEPT VITAL ORGANS.
Hw a So Called Total Wreck - May Bo
Boneated by the Advanced Processes
sod Inventions ot These Days Medical
Selenee Stops at Nothing;.
When one of Noah's grandchildren
loot a finger in a haycntter or an arm in
trazzsaw, or had an eye pnt out or a
leg eat off, or lost his hair or teeth, he
"was forced to go without the item thus
-deducted from his sum total for the rest
of his mortal life. It is hard to credit
the amount of patching up that may
now be accomplished by the advanced
processes and inventions of these days.
Suppose that a man has lost all four
limbs, his hair, his eyes, his nose, all his
teeth and a portion of his palate, and
that he has a fractured skull and tuber
' des on his longs. The gentleman may
also be covered with the pits of an early
case of smallpox and may have been pre
sented at his birth with a large mole on
liis cheek.
First, of course, he will have his head
' trepanned by some skillful surgeon, and
"when he has had the tubercles removed
from his lungs by a specialist in pul
monary diseases and has recovered from
the exhausting effects of these two opera
tions he will be in a proper state to have
his eyes attended to. A rabbit is select
ed whose optics are of a color becoming
-to the subject, and one of them is trans
planted by means of transference. Of
coarse he could hardly expect to have
hoth eyes successfully supplied in this
way, but supposing he has good luck and
one grows satisfactorily, the other socket,
for the sake of beauty and symmetry,
wiu oe nuea Dy one or the glass eyes
now manufactured to such perfection.
GETTING LIMBS, ETC.
His next proceeding will be to call in
a maker of artificial limbs and be meas
ured for a full suit of arms and legs.
If the patient is fortunate enough to
nave one arm down to the wrist, he will
be supplied with a hand with which he
can manage to write a little and feed
himself quite perfectly. His lower limbs
will convey him from place to place, not
very gracefully, to be sure, but still as
well as many merely lame legs convey
their owners, and which, sitting or rest
ing, will present, perhaps, a more sym
metrical appearance than the originals
. they have succeeded.
The once total wreck is still bald,
toothless and disfigured with pock
marks and a mole. An artificial set of
teeth, quite as good as the original arti
cle and incapable of aching, will be sup
plied by any good dentist, and the miss
ing portion of the palate also will be
furnished. Then the hair would nat
urally be his next thought.
He may have hair or portions of scalp
transplanted to the uncovered cranium.
But this is a long and painful process,
o we "will suppose that the subject con
tents himself with a wig. Fortunately
in these days wigs are made which are
entirely deceptive, and so far as appear
ance goes look quite as well as nature's
'own production. The writer of these
lines has shared a room with the wearer
;of such a wig for several days and was
not aware that his companion's Hyperion
locks were not the proper growth of the
head they adorned until in a burst of
confidence the truth was revealed.
, I HQW TIH: VICTd MAY APPEAR I
Thfifceauty seeker next goes to that
" artist of recent growth, the "dermatol
ogist," who first destroys his mole by
electrosis" and then gets to work on
the pockmarks. These are smoothed by
a disintegrating process, which loosens
"up the fibrous structure of the scars and
smooths down the whole face -by a sort
of planing method.
lie is stii: disfigured by the want of a
nose, certainly a most important lack in
a human countenance. This feature
may now be Bupplied by surgery by
transplanting a fold of flesh from some
living arm, which is held near the face
to be repaired until a portion of the fold
has grown fast in its new situation, and
then is wholly separated from the arm
and forms a fairly satisfactory nasal ap--
pendage.
Here the former human wreck may
'walk about the streets or call upon his
feminine acquaintances quite capable of
appreciating their charms, for he has
one available eye. He may smile also,
for his molars and incisors are now
plentiful and of pearly whiteness, and
though his nose may be a trifle pudding
like and lack Grecian symmetry of line,
his delicate complexion and luxuriant
hair largely compensate for this trifling
defect.
He will never, of course, be a satis
factory partner in the waltz, but his dig
nified repose and symmetrical limbs
-must make him an ornament to the re
ception and conversazione.
Thus while the vital organs remain
-within the trunk and the gray matter of
the brain is - intact a man need not de
spair, and surgeons believe that we may
soon expect to see the ill furnished
cranium supplied with such qualities as
it lacks, and poets, painters, inventors
and philosophers manufactured out of
the raw material of the idiot ward and
"i ' the stage door contingent. New York
World.
Pay In the United States Navy.
Ordinary seamen get $19 a month;
seamen get $24. Boys get $10; appren
tices, third class, $9; second class, $10;
first class, $11 a month; seaman appren
tices, second class, $19; first class, $34 a
month. The enlistment is for three
years. You can enlist at the navy yard;
to enlist as a boy or a third class appren
tice you need not "know the ropes."
New York Son.
Palpitation of the Heart.
An excessive palpitation of the heart
can always be arrested by bending
double, with the head down and the
arms pendant, so as to produce a tempo
rary congestion of the upper part of the
body. If the respiratory movements be
suspended during this action the effect
will be only the more rapid. Hall's
-Journal.
Carious Weather Tanas. "
. There is a tiny village in New Hamp
shire which takes special pride in its
weather vanes, and it certainly can boast
t great variety of ingeniously contrived
and weather and wind proof specimens
of these useful articles.
They were evidently designed not only
For use, but for ornament, and there is
scarcely a barn of any size which is not
decorated with a weather vane of r
more or less complicated workmanship.
Most of these vanes were made many
years ago by an old man who took
great delight in carving the queer fig
ures and planning their arrangement so
they would go through various motions.
It is said that he was in the habit of
"trying" a figure, when he had com
pleted it, on his own barn, and then
when he became satisfied that it worked
properly he would carry it with great
pride to the farmer Who had ordered it.
There is one which stiil stands guard
over a barn that has long since been de
serted by its owners, who have left the
lonely farm to seek their fortunes at the
west. It is the figure of a soldier, whose
uniform is greatly faded from years of
exposure, but whose gun still indicates
the - quarter from which the wind is
blowing by its position. Its evolutions
when the wind is, as the weatherwise
farmers say, "backing or hauling," are
quite interesting.
The are animals of different kinds,
such as cows, horses, pigs and bears,
which are used as vane figures, and.
point with their heads, legs or tails, as
the case may be. One figure of a horse,
which has long since left its best days
behind it, presents a startling effect from
the fact that a horsehair tail has been
inserted in the place of the old wooden
one, and being of a length quite out of
proportion to the horse's size, it some
times in a high wind lashes the poor ani
mal's head in a most - uncanny way.
Youth's Companion.
The Padrone System.
If there is any one so deluded as to
imagine that the padrone has no exist
ence in New York he should note the
maneuvers of a big, burly, coarse feat
ured man who watches the "chesanutta"
and flower gang which pre-empts the
walks in West Fourteenth street. I
stood at the corner of that thoroughfare
and Sixth avenue one morning. It was
8 o'clock, and the gang, numbering
twenty-one men, came trooping up the
avenue. The padrone, or the padrone's
agent, was there in waiting. Each re
ceived a small amount of money, and
started off for his accustomed place.
The padrone, or the agent, hovered in
the vicinity, and kept a close surveil
lance over the men, and at the same
time was on the lookout for approaching
policemen.
Two precincts join on Fourteenth
street, so the padrone has no time to
shirk his duty. If a policeman passes
along the lower side the signal is passed,
and the Italians cross to the opposite
side. When a bluecoat disappears
around a corner they return. At 7
o'clock at night Fourteenth street is
clear of these pests. They meet the pa
drone again and turn over to him the
receipts of the day. Then they drag
tneir bent ngures down the avenue and
take a short cut for some Mulberry street
attic Seven days in the week this routine
fa gone through with, cold or stormy
weather not interfering in the least.
New York Star. -
Specialists Increasing.
"People demand more from a doctor
nowadays," said a physician who is
thinking of retiring on his fortune,
than they did when I began' to build
up my practice. That is, they demand
more in some ways and not so much in
others. Not many years ago it would
have been as mach as a doctor's reputa
tion was worth to say to a patient: 'Now,
look here, my dear sir, I know what's the
matter with you, but I would rather not
treat you myself. There is Dr. B
across the way, who makes a specialty
of the disorder you have contracted, and
he can treat you better than I can for
that reason. He may not cure you, of
course, but in any case .you will then
feel that you have had the best advice
available.' Now, fortunately, I can give
such advice, and do every week of -my
life, without being thought any less
skillful a physician by my patients. But
at the same time the profession is run
ning toward specialists, in the cities any
way, and for a doctor who began as I
had to do to cover the whole field of ills
that flesh is heir to, the amount of skill
and experience and special training that
people require from their physicians is
felt to be a trifle burdensome." New
York Tribune.
An Eagle's Big Contract.
John Bettorf, of Crawford county,
Mo., heard a terrible cackling among his
geese, and on going to ascertain the
cause discovered that an immense gray
eagle had buried its talons in a large
gander which with others was swim
ming on a pond in the field. The eagle
was unable to rise with its prey, while
the gander struggled hard to escape.
Bettorf ran to the edge of the pond,
and the gander at once swam to his mas
ter's feet, who caught the eagle by the
neck and legs and held it under water
until it was nearly drowned. He then
removed its talons from the back of the
gander and conveyed it to a coop, where
it soon recovered and became as active
and as well as ever. The gander, how
ever, was so severely injured that it died
a few days -after. The eagle measured
nearly seven feet from tip to tip of
wings. Cor. "St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Chapman's Pointer Cat.
Chapman Vanluvanee is fond of shoot
ing English sparrows with a small cal
iber rifle. He has a handsome gray cat
that always accompanies him in the ca
pacity of a retriever. When Mr. Van
luvanee halts beneath a tree and elevates
his rifle, the cat always locates the game,
and generally nabs his sparrow the mo
ment the bird touches the ground. An
other peculiar trait in the animal's nat
ure is that he will not touch any other
variety of bird, having cultivated an ex
clusive taste for English sparrows.
Doylestown Democrat.
DIDN'T KEEP'A DIRECTORY.
A DruKKlst, Whose Store Adjoins a Uarga
Dry Goods Bouse, Has Ko Picnic.
"'I would liko to look at your ' direct1
nry. please," said L' the other , day, ori
entering a drug store " on Sixth avenue,
near Nineteenth street. :
The man behind the counter looked up
with a weary expression and quietly
shook his head.
"What's the matter," I asked. "Don't
you keep a directory here?"
Again" the head shake was repeated,
and then I sought for an explanation.
You see," said the druggist, "we are
right in among all these large dry goods
Lucres, and as their customers are mostly
ladies of more or less leisure, our place
would be fairly overrun with women all
day long if we had a directory there in
the window. --
"Yes," he went on, "we did keep a di
rectory once, but it got to be such an in
tolerable nuisance that we either had to
stop it or close out our business. I be
lieve," said the druggist, "that some
women like to go into a drug store and
look over the directory. Not, mind you,
because they really wish to find out any
addresses, but simply from pure cussed
ness. Maybe they think it looks busi
nesslike. And then, you know, a drug
store is a great place of rendezvous for
the ladies who do shopping, and study
ing over a directory helps them to kill
time if the other party is late.
"You have no idea," ho went on, "of
the number of women who stop in here
every day and ask foolish questions.
Why, sometimes when I tell them we
don't keep a directory they ask me
whether 1 know where so-and-so lives,
and a thousand and one questions be
sides that might be answered in the di
rectory, but which they never stop to
consider. And then these women come
in here and want to leave their bundles
while they do their shopping elsewhere.
They hold regular conversation bees, and
interfere with customers passing in and
out, and fairly worry my life out with
their petty questions and annoyances.
"Stamps, did you say, miss?" he add
ed, turning to address a young lady who
had just entered. "No, miss: we do not
keep stamps.
"I'd have to keep a branch postoffice
up here," said the druggist as the young
lady went out, and then he turned to
some score or more of ladies who were
waiting to receive attention. New York
Herald.
The Vice of Idleness. ,
It is exceedingly difficult to under
stand the cause of this vice, or of its re
ported increase, but we incline to be
lieve that while it is in a . few a sort of
disease, it is in the majority nothing but
a low form of selfishness, curable only
by punishment, whether the natural
punishment of starvation or an artificial
one. The man hates the self suppression
involved in work just as a savage does,
but he can suppress himself if he chooses,
and invariably does choose, if for any i
reason he passes nnder the : terrible
though avoidable discipline of a convict
prison. , The compulsion which . usually
falls upon the idle takes the form of bad
food, bad lodging and want of tobacco.
and it is not sufficient.
Such wants are all horrible things, but
they are none of them so horrible as
steady work, which presses and tortures
and almost maddens the really idle, just
as civilization, which is its essence, is a
multitude of small restraints, does the
savage. . They will not put up with the
suffering for the time necessary to teach
them that it is endurable, and will
rather break away into the desert, often a
street, where there are only bread to eat
and water to drink and no shelter, but
where there also is no work to do. Lou
don Spectator.
Cabbage Palm Tronki for Submarine Use.
One hundred thousand running feet of
palmetto logs will be shipped right away
from Brunswick to Santiago, Cuba. This
is a new article of export from this state,
and bids fair to become an important
factor in increasing Brunswick's already
enormous timber and lumber trade.
Mr. W. F. Carnegie, the millionaire
iron man, is largely interested in an iron
mine near Santiago, and the order was
made by his company. A great part of
the timber is to be used in the construc
tion of cribs to inclose a harbor near the
mines in which ships can load. The rest
will be converted into piles for building
a railroad across quite a large body of
water.
A gentleman well informed in such
matters said that this material would
last an indefinite length of time under
water, but could not very well stand ex
posure to the air. It is almost proof
against the attack of worms, and is en
tirely free from barnacles. And while
it will no doubt finally succumb to these
two destroying agencies, yet there can
be no doubt of its lasting at least twice
as long under water as any other kind of
wood. Brunswick Times.
The Tooth's Knowledge.
Is it that the average youth of today
knows more geography in a minute than
his father, when he was a schoolboy,
knew in ten years, or is it that the father
forgot nearly all of his knowledge im
mediately after closing the covers of his
"big geography? However that is, one
thing is certain that nine youngsters
out of ten who can't count so many years
as they have fingers can "floor" their
whole grown up families on mountains,
lakes, rivers and streams, cities, towns
and villages and boundaries. They not
only do this persistently and nncompro
misinlv. but thev take jwrticular de
light in making their sisters' callers
flush to the roots of their hair with their
terribly erudite questions. New York
Tribune.
- : . The Navy of China.
So far as the power of the fleet is con
cerned China is the eighth in rank. But
the lack of proper organization, equip
ment and personnel renders her fine ves
sels practically valueless for purposes of
war. It may be said that China has no
army, only collections of uniformed men,
and that she has no navy, but simply, a
number of naval vessels, with some of
the inhabitants on board. New York
Herald.
J. M. HUNTINGTON & CO.
Abstracters,
Real Estate and
Insurance Agents.
Abstracts of. and Information Concern
ing Land Titles on Short Notice.
Land for Sale and Houses to Rent.
Parties Looking for Homes in
COUNTRY OR CITY,
OR IN SEARCH OF
Bngiqe Locations,
Should Call on or Wrijfe to us.
Agents for a Full Line of
Leaiins Fire Insurance CGmpanles,
And Will Write Insurance for
AMOTJUT,
on all
DESZBABIiE IRISZKIS
Correspondence Solicited. All Letters
Promptly Answered. Call on or
Address,
J. M. HUNTINGTON & CO.
Opera House Block, The Dalles, Or.
JAMES WHITE,
Has Opened a
XiuxLclL Counter,
In Connection With his Fruit Stand
and Will Serve
Hot Coffee, Ham Sandwich, Pigs' Feet,
and Fresh Oysters.
Convenient to the Passenger
Depot.
On Second St., near corner of Madison.
Also a '
Branch Bakery, California
Orange Cider, and the
Best Apple Cider.
If you want a good lunch, give me a call.
Open all Night
G. N. THORNBURY, T. A. HUDSON,
Late Rec. U. 8. Land Office. Notary Public.
THDR KBURY & HUDSON,
ROOMS 8 and 9 LAND OFFICE BUILDING,
Postoffice Box 385, '
THE DALLES, OR.
pilings, Contests,
And all other Business in the D. S. Land Office
Promptly Attended to.
We have ordered Blanks for Filings,
Entries and the purchase of Railroad
Lands under the recent Forfeiture Act,
which we will have, and advise the pub
lic at the earliest date when such entries
can be made. Look for advertisement
in this paper.
Thornnurv & Hudson.
Health is Wealth !
Dr. E. C. West's Nerve anb Brain Treat
ment, a guaranteed specilic for Hvsteria, Dizzi
ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
pression, Softening of the Brain, resulting In In
sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, self
abuse or over indulgence. Each box contains
one month's treatment. 11.00 a box, or six boxes
for fd.00, sent by mall prepaid on receipt of price.
WK (iUAKAMEE SIX BOXES
To cure any case. With each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied by $5.00, we will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effect
a cure. Guarantees issued only by
BLAKELEV Se HOl'GJITOX, '
Prescription Druggists,
175 Second St. The Dalles, Or.
C33
Opera 7 Exchange,
BILLS & WHYERS, Proprietors.
The Best of Wines, Liquors and Cigars
ALWAYS ON BALE.
They will aim to supply their customers with
the best in their line, both of imported and do-'
mestic goods.
3 ..c.Wf-j. i!
?&4QTh g ATM E NTfffi
He
Dalles
is here and has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and
if satisfied with its course a generous
support.
The Daily
four pages of six columns each, will be
issued every evening, except Sunday,
and will be delivered in the city, or sent
by mail for the moderate sum of fifty
cents a month.
Its Objects
will be to advertise the resources of the
city, and adjacent country, to assist in
developing our industries, in extending
and opening up new channels for our
trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Leading City of
The paper, both daily and weekly, will
be independent in politicsand in its
criticism of political matters, as' in its
handling of local affairs, it will be
JUST. FAIR AND IMPARTIAL
We will endeavor to give all the lo
cal news, and we ask that your criticism
of our object and course, be formed from
the contents of the paper, and not from
rash assertions of outside parties.
For the benefit of our advertisers we
shall print the first issue about 2,000
copies for free distribution, and shall
print from time to time extra editions,
so that the paper will reach every citi
zen of Wasco and adjacent counties.
THE WEEKLY,
sent to any address for $1.50 per year.
It will contain from four to six eight
column pages, and we shall endeavor
to make it the equal of the best. Ask
your Postmaster for a copy, or address.
THE CHRONICLE PUB. GO.
Office, N. W. Cor. Washington and Second Sts.
Eastern Oregon.