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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (June 20, 1920)
THE OREGON : SUNDAY. JOURNAL, : PORTLAND,, SUNDAY.: MORNING, JUNE , SO, , 1810. 5 ay. . V25ST GIRLS ; I'-WG ''' Vi,', ' ' 1 -' ' - f J .csr' ; I Vx. SIR SOLOMON INVENTS SWIMMING EXTRACT The rood 8up posies have packed ud j And hied 'em to the shore, 1 ' To 8 port upon the sands and bathe And hear the ocean roar. BIr Solomon upon the beach, ' In solemn thought, reclined -. Although the king had bade him rest And ease his mighty mind. Not many of the dear Supposies r Had achieved the art . -J- Of swimming, and out In the sea : I They played a sorry part. It filled the old sage with dismay To see them ducked and flung, Because they- hadn's learned to swim lake you when they were young. -. S'lt I'm. to have a rest," said he, Judge Prim Is Given Medicine 1TR. PETER PRUIT cPROr was' a i-'A solemn old gentleman Tabbit Judge, .who presided over , the 31 eadowviUe court. He was very important and precise and never, never smiled. The little squirrels and woodchucks and turtles and 'possums were very much afraid of him. and took good care not to break : any laws;? for Judge Rabbit would send . a creature up a tree for the slightest misdemeanor. He always did right himself.; and expected every one else to do the same. Even 'Johnny Woodpecker, .who was keeper of the hollow tree Jail, thought him too severe, and - quite sympathised . with , his prisoners. . ? . 1 "If we could Just catch' old Judge Prim breaking a law," he chuckled to Tommy Turtle, "reckon he 'wouldn't be so hard on the rest of us.'" -email chance r said Tommy rubbing his head thoughtfully. "Just the name " He waddled .off to talk It over with Henry 'Possum,.-and Henry allowed that they all ought to put their heads to gether . and fix things so Peter Prim would have to break a law. ' ' That night there was a secret meet, ing In the Meadowville Inn, and after -a great many speeches and resolutions the .little Meadow men hit upon a"plan. 1 Next morning, about 9 o'clock. Mr. Henfy 'Possum and Johnny Hedgehog started off to town. At 1 o'clock, in hts black gown and wig. old Judge Prim ,f started slowly down the little lane to ward the courthouse.- Tommy Turtle and Sammy Squirrel;, who were on police duty that week, winked, at one another and got their clubs ready as If they were going to arrest somebody, ' And they sure enough were! For next mm f ute. Jickety-split through the trees, came Henry and Johnny, ; and after them a big yellow dog. Into a hollow tree , popped the two. and the yellow dog. seeing no one 'cept old Judge Rabbit, gave a bark of Joy and made after htm. The police had discreetly disappeared. When Judge Rabbit heard the awful racket behind him he turned round slow and aolemn to see who was breaking the : law. It was against the law to make a noise on the main thoroughfare of Mea dowville. Then he dropped his law books and went hopping across lawns and fences faster than he had ever gone before. He had never been chased in his life. He had always kept away from doss and expected them to keep away xrom him. But this dog didn't appear' to recognise a judge when he saw one, and chased him all-over the-town till - oici i'eter. in desperation, burrowed a hole In the courthouse lawn and made his way underground to a nearby cellar. The dog waited a long while, but not a little creature ventured out. so. with the scornful sniff, he started back to ; town. t Then down the steps of the courthouse ran Tommy and Sam. and next minute were running up Mr. Henry 'Possum's . tree steps. . "Thieves' Robbers !" cried Mrs. Henry, . waving her apron. "Where?" gasped Tommy. i "Cellar!" shrieked Mrs. 'Possum, fall Ug down the front steps. Tommy and The Chocolate Chaps are harvesting. And working without pause, 1 To gather tn their record crop , Of toothsome chocolate straws. - :! r-vp ' ' ' & N j:- -sfrv I 'nrs-m 1 - - Wfe.. . , , n " :.. "111 have to find a way i To teach them all to swim. Great - . Scott! -- 111 start this, very day. "The methods used by masters here Are Just a bit too slow." Sir Solomon Tremendous Wise Paced quickly too and fro. Then gave a Jump and snapped his ' eyes.- . 1 . "Why should the thing be taught? I'll mix a swimming extract to Be taken at a draughtl" . ... ...... ... ..... All morning he worked hard and fast ' With seaweeds, clams and snails. Diluted with a mixture made -, Of fishes' fins and tails. :v- Mr. Hobln, Mr. Robin,- Will you come down from that tree T Sam rushed into the house - and, sure enough, some - one was thumping hard on the cellar door.; Tommy Turtle opened it. leaned In and, next : minute, dragged out Judge Peter Prult Prim, for it was in Mr. 'Possum's cellar that the poor rabbit had taken refuge.' - ' .' "Why, Judge " gasped Tommy. "What for you breaking Into people's houses?" "We'll have to take you along, Judge, said Sammy sternly. - Before the courthouse door ' Sammy stopped sternly and regarded the huge hole in the. lawn. v "Til be- bound, some one has tres passed on these premises," he snapped sharply, and. walking over, began look ing for footprints, t "Rabbit!" he exclaimed, "with a wink at Tommy. "We'll have to run you in for disturbing thepeace V? Peter Prult Prim had hardly any breath left, but he ex plained and explained to the assistant judge, Jerry Owt But Judge Owl only called him to order, and as no "One had seen the dog, or so they declared, Peter was sentenced to three dears in jail for housebreaking and reckless speeding en the highway, i And when he got out he was a much better Judge and listened to the excuses of his prisoners, which he had never done before. - Transformation A Catholic . church in Cincinnati is to be transformed into a Jewish syna gogue. The Catholic parishioners erect ed a new edifice and sold the old church to the Jews of Anche Ponen congregation The church is being re modeled, naturally. : - , ' - . r .. Blind Man Saw Her Mm. C W. Lowther, wife of a church worker of Victor. Colo., has been con- '-They go on chocolate straw rides, too. And have a load of fun. A f.0?011? cndr straw ride, my! - youV n ne! JWouldnn By coon 'twas done. Armed, with a ' spoon - He gave them several doses. Twas very bitter and the king Was forced to hold their noses. But, oh, great stars! they fairly ran To plunge Into the sea; They swam so far and fast they had To tow them back to tea.'' r But,' oh 1 attacks of swimming often Took them unawares At dinner (how the dishes flew);; Some even swam upstairs! But Solomon said this will stop In time', and Just the ocean ' ' Or water from a lake or pond Set all of them in motion. If yon eat so many cherries There'll be none at all for me. victed of stealing from a blind f man and Is to serve from two to five years in the penitentiary. The vlcim. - testi fying at the trial, claimed to be an eye witness of the alleged theft. ; Conventions and Convention National Meetings and Others By Ring W. XVardner. To the Editor: The newspapers has all been filled up lately with the national conventions and hardily anything else to read about and a i man might 'think they was the bnly ' conventions t hat ever -! c o ra e off, but it looks to me like they was oth- of con- JX0 J v n 1 n 94 I 1 jS - more Import they i don't that's important as only come once every,, yrfc but are going on all the while and if you. think the national conventions is tuny " what about the other conventions witch X refer to,, the kind that people lives by them, like, for Inst. 'a man take in g . off t his hat when they . meet a grl of the opposite sex. no matter if its raining pitchforks, and X have suppose you Just took off your - bat to a girl and It did happen to be raining pitchforks never seen it rain pitchforks, but suppose you just took off your, hat to a girl ' and it did happen to be raining pitchforks and one of them happened , to hit you t in the - bean, prongs down, with your hat off. It would hurt. ' ' f- But I wonder if some of my read ers has ever stopped to think about these -different conventions or you might call them sociable amenities, and if people i did : set -down and think about them - seriously, why I bet they would be a big. howl raised and a specially from the men folks because they get all the worst of it. 't f E!?v e '-e': et For in st. suppose theys 7 gents and 1 lady waiting on the 1st floor of aiotel to go up and finely the elevator : door opens to let them on and the lady is going to get off at the magazine floor like they usually do, but still and all! the men has got to' all stand back and leave her get in the car 1st and she goes to the back end of it so) that when the car stops at the magazine floor, why in order for her to get off she has got to- jep on the gents fU and stick her elbow into- the ; other H gents; Adams t apple, j And further and more, wile she Is In the hotel elevator the gents has all got to take off their hats or "else the other gents gives them a dirty look, but if its a office bldg. instead of a hotel the gents can all keep their hats -on without offending, nobodys sensibil itys, though the office bldgmay be a whole lot more respectable than the hotel and most generally always la' Or speaking about hats, take for Inst, men's straw "bats witch is the only decent kind of a looking bat witch a .man can wear: and they's no reason in the . world why they shouldnt be. wore the year around, but if a man. stick one - on his brains before the V of Jane, ' Why he is the object of rlbbald laughter and if he keeps It on after the 15 of Sept.- his fellow men. thinks them- self Justified in takelng . a cane or a poker and knocking it for a goal. Or -; take the conventions In the dinning room. ' If its consomme . you can thtow the spoon out. the win dow and drink it the way nature in tended, but its vs. rules to do K with oyster soup even after the bipeds themself is all gone, and - they's nothing left -m the. bowl only the condensed milk. If you order roast duck' you" have got to . have apple sauce along with it. or if you order roast lamb it can't come.; Into the fold without mint sauce, though' you can't name me no 2 worse combina tions in the world unless its water melon and paprika," : Or if you; come home to dinner and your wife and a couple sister- in-laws Is dining with you and they been setting- around the house-all day panning their girl friends ; be tween naps and trying to reduce be sides, and, maybe you been playing golf or working a dog. why still and all you have "got to serve them the best ' cuts and: you can't put a morsel of grizzle in your own mouth till they have stopped talking long enough to begin eating. -" ' Now in regards to lntreductiona A gent can go up to another gent that he never seen before on a train or in a hotel or on the st. and with out asking no names they can start a conversation and maybe bore each other to death. Or a man can go up to a perfectly ( strange baby ; of either sex and : speak to them' and so can a woman. Or a woman can go up to a strange' gent and say something and be sure of getting a favorable reply. But if a man goes up to a woman that he never met and opens up a little small talk, why the lease he can expect Is the raza and "he is lucky If a policeman or some hidden escort !- don't sneak .up De Massa Run? ' Ha, Ha! De Darky Stay? Ho, Ho! It Mus' Be Now De King dom Co' An De Year b JabHo. In decorating our front, we haven't overlooked decorating our screen as well, for bare, too. is provided Regal entertainment for our Royal guests. "JUBILO," famous Satur day Evening Post story by ; Ben m Ames Williams. A hobo's ventures in the Land of Work Love. Laughs and chuckle 1 with tears m the most delightfully human photoplay that baa graced the screen this year. EXTRA Jennie Clow Nelson Soprano rv L. 1 'Dir. behind him and lift his chin into the right field Beats. . . Or suppose a lady : and gent is Walking'along the st. and her. shoe string comes untied and -she is about 22 yrs. old and a fly-weight and the gent is along ,'ih the recent fortys and tips the beam at say 257, . It is up to the male to lean ,over the bay window sill and reimburse the' shoe string at great - pains to him self, ' But suppose ' his own" shoe string come untied. - Do you v think the little gal ' would ' lean ' overhand recuperate it' j though " It cost f her nothing in the way of pain and an guish? l. ! " - . r '" i: What I say, friends,, is that the national conventions may be a joke, but they's other conventions that's a whole lot worse and its high and low time that us boys got together and asserted our rights and quit al lowing girls of the opp. sex to make a monkey out of us more than they been doing. . ' . ' RINCJ W.' GARDNER. ' ' Ixmg's Island. June 18. s - (Oop-rijcht, 1I0, by th B-n. BraOltmia lao.) .To Beautify" Men -; London, June 19. Mere man is In for a little beautificatlon, AU the suppressed yearnings of the tailors have been set atingltng by 'the announcement that the ' king- ' desires ordinary . evening, dress coats to be wprh at future court functions, with satin breeches, instead of the regulation court coat. Sartorial ' rumors are going around to the .effect that men will, as a consequence of this edict,. discard the conventional trousers in , (aver of the Highly esthetic knee breeches for danc ing, Savile row ; Is - already ; indulging in ' dreams of purple - satin breeches, wiyx brocaded l waistcoats to. match ; for, at least, men-1 will be . able to wear fanciful clothes with the glib excuse that they are an-r economy. ; "The fact that the dress . clothes are so expensive and that kne breeches are obligatory for court wear will make many men wear them at dances instead of trousers," said a tailor. . ' While black may be chosen at first by the timid pioneers, the gayety of the ballroom will -shortly- be enhanced by gorgeous color schemes in breeches that will rival the women's, frocks. : Only Wanted Shave Kansas City, Mo., June - It. Charg ing 5 $2 : for a shave ' brought Bonnie Broughton, a lady barber, into police court a few days ago. It also resulted in Bonnie being assessed a 2S fine. The trouble .started when Fred Car roll dropped- into ? Bonnie's' shop - and asked for a shave. He got it, also a combination massage, a with hasel rub and a head vlgraUon, which be didn't ask for. i 'r-S.'K 'o When the bill was presented Carroll protested, but Bonnie - was firm. Car roll paid the bill and then appealed to the police.'-. An English inventor 'of a new wire less telephone claims that it is compact enough for a man to carry the entire apparatus. ;-''-' ' misad and mixed mA i l v r i r i . , . A . i J Salaam , es Aleikum , p - I j r tfaV'i My' :?":.;'''': ": y AND ALL VEIII Mildred HsrrU ; Chaplin's First; Picture for First-National WhichX w . Which IS ' . ; ' " IS "The Inferior Sex?" Iff Pi Behold in their natal state Man and Woman Stripped of their-social veneer. A Risque, but not too Risky. LADY . your husband is' slipping, get down here QUICK! J y i NOW AND M , '- 'll M "s'" 1 if , li h ALL WEEK The all-week question: "Where'll I Mcccha?"' "At the Peoples: thcy'vo JUBILO, tho . SHRINER SHOW." to)
