(DopyrlgM. 1M. t"7 E. OrewWr.)
1 1 Everybody Wants Sumthink ! I
; m What la tha Ramilt ? 1
THoy Got IJTotlaiiiLlt. ! ! 2
ADVERTISE
t: In the BINGVILLE BUGLE :
And Sea Whot You Gat
Em
G
TIL
IE
BUGL
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X3 "V TV 33 "W T O IT ffXl WKXIl.IC
-3
:o: WE PRINT :o: ;
Accidents, Marriages and Scandals with Qnat Cheer
: Because We Know Who Our "Subscribers Is
! r .nt Job iork j
I . .v 1 . M I
JEauoT . IrfTO' THE BUGLE OFTCJi MQ HE tfUBBTSn H1& YS A-HD X.QOKXB
wm thi papr( cincht ms "hat tarnation 15 that
HAMB AND HOWr US IM JBL.ACK WHITS S' Tt1 XT"3? OW ?
WHEjREi tfAlV HAD JH HQMmATED LOOKED AMI) SILjtoca FULL OTf THXl
aaaHHHaHMMHaaaHaaaMaaawaaHHaaaMnaaaBHHiaBiuii inaajaHNBaMHMaMHaHBMaMaaMBBBHBHi
"WHICH IF "W PRINTED THlvK Wo OLD 3H
(Tf5 cSIAJKPlHq AS A MffTlBftR Ql THg CHURCH
PSrEH HAT " tiAKTY OF A. CHICKn
EJMTF .AND GOT THli V1SHJ30M11 IN HIS
THROAT AJD rARCr CHOKJlD
TRS S.UAK WOQIlBTaKY RAPlHp Hii TBOTTt PARLOR
3jp
cIBnPETEBS -REPORTS BRiaYANf
SUCCESS AS -A. JSOolt ACJllNr IM BIH&Vl LL.TC
TEE. BINGTILLE : BUGLE!
The Leading Paper of the County I
Bright Breezy Bellicoie Bustling
fin
Bow doth trm bny little b
ImproT' each uhlnlnjr hoar
By srntherlnir hooey nil the rly
From erecj opening floor.
Th ehtfipMt flTertIInf medium in the
country. If J'i belieTe In flrertlalnf. com
and n. For further Information call 00
or address trio editor.
-Jcf3HUA 6 LAD'S TRY1MG TO
BRTiAK HIS TWOVTAR OLX COLT
IwrntAcornrta "wooo oidom smallhv cur
Last week Snide Petersby made
a trip to the County Seat pn busi
ness and pleasure, mostly pleasure ;
and while there" got holt of a old
copy of a city newspaper so that
he could read what was going on
in the outside world as you might
say. The next day after Snide re
turned home he put on his specs
and set down on his front piazzer
and begin to read the news. It was
about 9 :30 a. m. when Snide bust
into the Bugle office with the pa
per rlencht in his hand and showed
us in black and white print where
Taft had been nominated for Pres
ident of the U. S. by the republi
cans and Bryan for the same
office by the democrats. This was
big news to us being as we hadn't
herd nothing about it, and we cal
kilate it will be a surprise to those
of our subscribers who haven't al
ready been toll about it bv Snide
who spread the news nfl over Bing
ville concerning these nominations.
During the past few davs we
shave been askd on many occasions
''vonther the Bugle would support
Tnft nr Brv.-rn for President, if
"'thr. We desire tr ay in reply
''i we ?w.- mt a vet made up
- - "I-! r.-i 'nt point, and will
.. -.. jn Qn ...itil wc ran confer with
n-n-'V" r.irnmittee of both
b;.-h has charge of the
''itr'brtWi of funds. Whether
'e Bugle roncrimsiouslv supports
"ft or Brvan will depend a good
'n! on bow .-v-h the campaim
''f,ir'r are " t
-(M 'upport !
to be governed by the dictates of
our pocketbook than by our con
science. Until the campaign managers of
the two parties takes this matter
up with us, we shaU preserve a
onimous and dignified silence as to
which candidate we will boost and
which one we will bullyrag. Any
propositions made to us will re
ceive our earnest attention, and
will be regarded as strictly confi
dentia1. Subscribe for the Bugle if you
desire to keep posted on what is
going on in the political world.
imnnniTiTTi mTimirl
Samson on Fire
While in Hen Weatfiersby store
totfier evening, Mel Samson put his
pipe in his pockft forgetting to knock
out the hot ashes, and as a result his
coat took fire from spontaneous com
bustion as you might say, causing Mel
considerable annoyance to say nothing
of the damage to his coat and the ob
noxious odor of burnt cloth which
filled the store and drove everybody
outside.
Mysterious Light in the Sky Bing
ville Thought the World Was
Coming to an Eni but It
Didn't. Horrifying Pertit
erisrs Below
Eph in Trubble
Kph Higgins our accommodating P.
M. reports that during this muggy
August weather his postage stamps has
all become stuck together something
awful, until he has to work and sweat
and sware to g:et a postage stamp when
anybody happens to come in and want
one. F.ph scys that between the stamps
sticking together in summer and hav
ing the gum cat off of them by the
cockroaches in winter this job of being
a government official ain't what it is
cracked up to be.
Cy in a Predicament
Cy Hosklni, one or our most promi
nent and respected citizens, had a em-
harassing and humiliating experience to
happen him late Monday afternoon this
week. Cy had been working hard in the
hnyfield most all day, and when he
finally finished shocking his hay about
5 o'clock he wa all hot and sweat up
and nncomforti.ble. Tn Snake Creek,
right back of Cv's house, is a cool deeo
poo!, and Cy thnnpht it would refresh
him a pood deal to fkr a plunge in
this oool. so he goes dnvn and takes
off his clothes in the Hi and jumps
intn the wafer and sr.l.i'hcs around at
a preat rV" . rv M!e:t.
Cy cvkihtd he rrnai'ird fn the
water aho ' 15 miii"'" wh-n he come
nit on shore to r"t his rlothes on and
discovered 1 1 his rontcrnat'on that
there wasn't rnv r'othes to put on, be
ing a Bi;d Hinkley. -.'m aint ottite
right in his hend. aid had bee" fishing
down the rrrk below hrr Cy went
in, had mrk vn '-- r"-ck. grabbed
Cv's cloth" nnd r-x oT with them
:i:st for a ioke -i Cy aw Ttiid
n-ring dov -rfV with his
clothes Ve a'd thines uhirh if we
prirtd thrm here wu'rl ir;'.ire Cv's
''rig to spend for
o- instance, if the
'h!ic.-,n par'v woidd offer to
A a, a. 0 a -a ,
pav us t-r hoos'ing latt. we
cotdd r't consnnsious!v do so pro
vlding Brvan's managers woitld of
fer us Sinn .-,r r"n.ng the same r,nrch Cv ho'd-'-d to Rd as loud as
h:n" Th"re wa a tim in ifip i Ve ouM hoi'--, hut Bird nntv nn the
h-Vorv of the BuHc when it was Tf" rr. '1"rd tr?T11 -.-jb-n wfnes.ed in o,,r midt before.
. ,,,r,r, nW.Vm r,,rr r.t I r"! T ? f opponte the side ! Pill Il-rhurn asked to forcve for tbe
'y " .v.... . .,11 i fi rrrrk- r.r . rf feif!(T in tsaci I f,,r. rf UrVnr rt hurl (Tntfiw. t,,
Last Tuesday night was a red letter
night in the history of Bingville, the
horrible memory of which will linger
in the minds of the dlc.'st as well as
of the youngest inhabitant for many
years to come. It will be remembered
that Tuesday night was a awful dark
night. On the piazza in front of Hen
Weathersby's store was seated the
usual conglomeration of town loafers
smoking, chewing terbaker, and indul-
gin in iaie conversation, -nuuui ? p. m.
Hod Quiggley happened to glance up
at the sky in order to see what kind of
weather there might be the next day,
when his eye caught sight of a lumin
ous red light which seemed to be hov
ering in the Heavens over trie central
portion of the town. Hod he rubbed
his eves and looked again, but the light
was still there, so he seys to the others,
"What the tarnation is that red light
up in the sky there anyhow is it a
star or what?" Everybody looked
where -Hod pointed and silence fell on
fhejrt present. It was the general opin
ion that it was not any star because
stari isn t red. u hue they was look
ing at it; the thing begin to sort of
wobble round and move across the
heavens, whereat a sickening silence
fell on the spectators. Deacon An
drews STfd he calkilated it was some
token. Bill Hepburn, our artistic black
smith, who for the most part has led
a wicked and intoxicating life, asked in
a horse whisper if it might be that the
world was about to come to a end.
Bill's words struck consternation t6 ev
ery heart present. As oon Bill
mentioned this awful suspicion the
others present came to the conclusion
that mebbee be might be righf, and
hastened to their various homes to
prepare for the worst.
The news of this awful red omn In
the sky nread like wiMfire over Bing
ville. and in a few minutes the entire
popalation was out In the streets gaz
incr with awe-sfrirk wonder at the
light as it wiggled abonf wav un yon
der in the sky. Women moaned and
n'per their hands, and some fainted.
while strong men lot ther" corrac-
and begin to recall .ill the wicked
twines they had ever did in their p.tt.
Finally someone sugrested t'-nt the
crowd should go to the narona?e oc
cupied bv Rev. ?imiifl Moor. v,,invP
pastor of the Bingville church, and
should ask him to prav that the end
of the world might be sf-- cd off for
few weeks if nossible Th:s suee"-,
tion was adopfM and rvervbodv made
a rush for the parsonage Key. Moore,
who was just ready to retire for the
rvpht. was routed o''t and when he
learned the cause throwd npm the
rW.r of the chu'oh, lit the lamps' "d
rounded with red tissue paper attached
to the tail of a hitr kite Hv follerine
I .,n I. i:nL. frmx.A lit-!, V, a t nniw
ceast to be alarmed discovered at the
end of the string by which the kite was
pulled in little Andy Andrews and Her
man Hepburn, respective sons of Deacon
Andrews and Bill Hepburn who had put
tip the kite at night with the red lantern
at its tail just for a lark. Bill and Dea
con each administered a sound thrash
ing to their respective offsprings on the
spot, .and then the crowd dispcrst and re
turned to their various homes in deen
discust. Bill Hepburn scys that under
the circumstances he will not feel bound
to keep the vows he made with respect
to drinking. While Deacon Andrews,
who returned Cy Hoskins the $10. seys
that unless Cv gives it back to him he
will persecute him to the full extent of
the law. They as ronfest to their past
now claims that the things they told
about thereselves ain't so, and Bingville
has by now assumed the even tenor of
its way.
Hank Fell In
Personals & Locals Mixt
Peter okins who Sundayrd with
his son Israel Hoskins, who lives at
lion's Cross Roads last Sunday, eat
hearty of a chicken dinner and got the
wishbone in his throat and nearly
choked. Peter reports Iz and family
doing well.
Mrs. Susan Woodbury papered her
front parlor last week and done the
job herself without the assistance o(
anybody. It is a neat job with the
e.Nctption of one side of the room
where the strips of paper don't run up
and down quite plum.
Jrd Peters, our intelligent school
teacher, reports that he has met with
hrillyant success as a book agent in
Bingville and vicinity this summer.
Jed has been re elected to teach the
Bingville school this coining winter.
Jed seems to have the nack of learning
bis pupils considerable.
Hank Dewberry while fishing from
the Bingville bridge ovfr Snake Creek
last Sunday went to sleep, leaned for
ward, and fell about 10 feet into five
foot of water. As soon as Hank struck
the water with a splash he woke right
up, and to say that he was surprised
would be putting it mild. Hank could
n't swim scarcely a stroke so he
splashed around on top of the water
hollerin for help, but nobody herd him,
and finally he begun to pet exhausted
and he sunk when finally his feet
touched the bottom and he walked
ashore in disgust. His fishing pole
was broke by the fall.
Local Items
Deacon Butterworth has been losing
several pullets lately. He iey they
was took by a skunk and furthermore
the Deacon seys he knows the skunk's
name being as he tracked him home.
The Deacon seys there is two kinds
of skunks human skunks and animal
skunks
Abe Wilson of the County Seat was
in Bingville the other dav and swopt
horses with Mel Hinckley. The horse
Abe got died on the way home the
same (lav of the trade, whereas the
horse Mcl cnt liver' until the next
morning. Neither Abe nor Mel got
very niiirh the best of each other in
thaf dicker.
Sometime ago the Widow Skinner
had a portrait made of her husband.
o!d"Ben Skinner, who hat been dead
for lo. these many years, which she 1
hnror in the parlow and took g-eat
rr.ifort in. Last week while dustina
off he pictu-e the nail nulled oit and
it fell down so that the back of a.
chair went right through old P.en'i
face in the picture. Mr Skinner is!
furrihle put out about this. j
Cr fEm
for saioF
It occurred to me ttic other day thai
I rut up more ice last winter than
I will be able to use this season,
and rather than have any of this ice
left over, I will now offer what ice I
have left for sale to whoever desires
ice.
IF I CAN SliLL THIS Ice FOR cash
I mi lit as well do so as to let it melt
and being as this is about the hottest
month in the year, perhaps you will ba
willing to pay whalevcr this ice is
worth to you.
Von will find It A (iOOP THINO
for to cool drinking water with or
to make ice cream out of. and so forth
and so forth to numerous to mention.
Don't Let this OPPORTUNITY pass
to aecure ice for little or ALMOST
NOTHING. i Ve n, e for terms. My
prices will be reasonable.
Bingville. AMOS H1LLYER
LATER- Since writing the above I
have discovered on investigation that
all mv ice has melted and that t' ere is
rothing left in the ice house b':t saw
dust. You will please therefore con
sider the abc. advertisement i 'II and 1
void. !
Amos Hiilvor
standing a mrmher of the Binnill" i fried" to pacify the members of h;(
fork- a v-ell ? nearly evenbodv flue
in Hincvme Mien a scene na never
swerving Pdelitv .- the republican ;
on fo rreet
in a posi-
st-arr.r vou nicht I jr? rjt
fe and vowed he would never
partv. but bv and bv wr found that iav, Cy tumpt ir.to the poo! wherelt-vch anther dron a long ar"e lived,
nrswervipg'ndclitv to the rr-uM-.'he rrn-d .rr;-:? 7 ' bad ; P-acon Andrew, hunted rr Cv Hos.
... .. !pat itb T'-nr -: b. head pro- 1 kins and g'vr htm back $lr which he
can party d'in t pav v a wcl as j fr,1(1:nB. fi r--,k- a lo-7 .torv hor. had c'-cted Cy out of in a -nrv trade
ursw erv.r? fi.-eMv to the derory-rat I T had n rfrr-.atn in the pool until 1 some ime before. Hen Wetthersbv.
party o the Bugle therefore j o-k-r fe". -v
came 'a stanch democrat organ .0
SaV nOWWHff til IS-il J-'J UII-IIV 'lit
vrar and digging for prohibition
another. Because of this change
icv we have. been accused
hen be r-iAde his way prop of onr general fTe, got na anrf
to his house to find .confessed that for many rea- h hid
baaa waiting for him
Vvt J f.rt:rs., 5P.4 that hi had
hern a I over 1. e trym to find
what had teenrrte of hirn. Cy hain't
doctored bis weighing sale and mixed
fjntjr with hit tuear, Otheri present
also admitted their faults. Every little
whw the crowd woo Id adjoam from tba
got hit clothes hack yet and Bud won't : church V take a, look at tba atar of
,1 7, 1 e Vtt Vffl i'l h' h ,hfm- Qr 0 ooorn. and by and b, the r a. aeen I Whlt nming .J?
of bsmg fikel in our poutical at&l-Jthlf tT- frnnn li1ie Bod Hmkky who to W descendirg. I ley Cut his font It wmlj bt hard
iation. but we desire to say in our QujV rht in there head U a mea- A it come lower and lower it was find a mere awkwarder perw w
1 ' . I - . a a.at IVM t ea fcj A L-al
'tj'r-ru Ui it mere fOiU.t.ie ace to liicsre. , tnaii c scorer ea w e aw -
Country Correspondence
SORROW HOLLOW.
It is very dry here at present. A
rain wouldn't do any harm and unless
it was a hard rain it, wouldn't do much
good.
Joshua Slade while trying to break a
two-year-old colt recently broke hi
lep and micht have broke his fool neck
if Peter Cranbv hadn"f ketched the colt
as it was drapirintr Josh along the
roa(' v'th his foot fat in the stirrup.
Joh sc be likes spirited borset to
ride, but not too doggone spirited.
Jemima Hall has raited a second
-rop of lettuce this summer. Who
co"'d beat this for lettuce'
Mis Amelia Tiwker of Rlrrrille ac
companied by Sam Wilkin past
through here in a bucej lat SonUy.
We were surprised to ee them being a
we thociht Amelia had th rowed San
vef Kwnettme ago. . '
While wtrni wood, Uiaeon imii-
to
itb
HAY FOR SALE
Owing to the fact that my I by ha
matured this year sooner than I
expected, and because
I haven't been able to hire any
help to harveat same ant have
nearly worked myaelf to death
In order o put tip and rut what little
hay I have in the barn.
desire tn offer for sale about five
acres of hay standlnz I" field
uncut
which I won't be able to harvest II
vou need hay here is a chance to Ret
it cheap on the toek. Next winter
hen you run o::t of hay you will prob
ably WUh .vou had purchased thla hay
I now offer for aale.
Flrase buv this hay off of me at once,
because the lonrer you delay the more
wo-lhles it will be.
As a furlhrr indurrmrnt 1 nil -
gri t ye 'can of my mere.
if lioc'iio
To cut this hay with if ray L'l ho?
it Immediately. 1 will tak for thie
hay 'whatever ft la worth, and tf yoa
don't thinlr it i morth thM muck
I WILL TAKp LESS
For hay in the field aee me.
EicfTCle,
ISRAEL PUTNAM.