'Tim OREGON SUNDAY "JOURNAL, rORTUND, SUNDAY MORNING? APRIL 19
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9
f "HERE was once a little old man and a little
1
old woman, ana utey urea in a uiue oia
houie on a little old farm. They had a lit.
tie old cow and a little old horse and a
little old dog and a little old cat
One day the little old man dug him a
load of potatoes and started off to the little old town
to sell them. The little old woman took a little old
bucket and went out to the little old barn to milk
the little old cow. But no sooner had she begun her
milking than the little old cow picked up her llttje
old feet and kicked the little old woman over. She
was so badly hurt that she could 'not get up, so she
lay on the ground calling to the little old dog, "Tipsy,
Tipsy, 0 Tipsy I "
j The little old dog came and walked around the lit
tle old woman and knew not what to do. By and by
she began saying, "Go for your master. Tipsy! Go
for your master, Tipsy!" The little old dog, who
was sitting looking at her with his little old tongue
hanging out of his little old mouth, trotted off down
the road to town. "
THE JIM OF "ROGET."
v (A Tautological Tale.)
By Graca Fraaer.
Most of you hare seen Dr. Roget's "Thesaurus of
English Words," the standard reference-book. Now
this "thesaurus" (which word means "treasury") Is
a system of verbal classli cation. Tou take all the
words and phrases that mean pretty much the same
thing, range them In a row, make these rows Into
sections, call the sections by appropriate names, and
there yon are!
Falling asleep, one night, over Roget's curious
fat man Into the bargain. A gentleman behind mit
wsa admonishing me to hasten, with the words: ' V ; 1
"Coma, oome, my good fellow, bowl, trundle, roll'
along!" v v j a
'Wni thmirtt I ."whaf it i tn ha tnnM OnnMr..
my very words. Is het I'll fhow him!" And turn-
Ing, I exclaimed -
"Go! begone! get you gone! get away! go along!
be off! off with you! get along with you! go about
your, business! go your way! a vaunt! aroynt! away
with you!" v , .;: '
"Whew!' cried the saucy man. "What an4irasclble,
susceptible, excitable, Irritable, fretful, fidgety, pee v
Ish, hasty,; quick, warm, not, touchy, testy pettish,
waspish snappish,-petulant, peppery, fiery, passion
ate, choleric fellow it Is!"
. "This annoyed ma. ' . ' '-
"Sir.'M said, "you ahall not ridicule, deride, laugh
at, mock, quia, rally, flout, twit, roast, taunt' or
make game of me; this Is 111 treatment, annoyance, '
molestation, abuse, oppression, persecution,' outrage,
of a kind that I shall net stand!" , ,
The man apparently wanted to fight, for he con
tinued meditatively: '."What a corpulent atout fat'
plump, chubby, chub-faced, lubberly, hulky, un wield-.
- This was more than flesh and blood could stand. I
tried to chastise, him; but he turned Into a police-
SHE PICKED UP HER LITTLE OLD FEET AND KICKED THE LITTLE OLD WOMAN OVER.
.... V, ' .
yOiacc MaQWwookl
He found the little old man la a store, where he
had Just sold his potatoes and was putting his little
old pocket-book In his little old pocket
"Why, bless me, here's Tipsy!" the little old man
cried when he saw the little old dog.
Tipsy took the little old man's coat-edge between
vi. - - j ....ft. .4 t wrinn Tlnavt fa thara
ilia teoia fuiu yuuvu m iu " -1
HE GAVE THE LITTLE OLD WOMAN A LITTLE OLD PILL.
1
man, took me to the station, and accused ma before
a judge of attempting "by tooth and nail., ri et amis,
at the point of the aword, and at one, fell swoop, to
be violent, to run high, ferment, effervesce, run wild,
run riot, to break the peace, to out-herod Herod, and
to run amuck."
I denied the charge with vigor. "It is false, untrue,
unfounded, fictitious, invented, ben trovato, counter
feit, spurious!" I cried. "The policeman is a hypo
crite, tale-teller, shuffler, dissembler, serpent, and
Baron Munchausen. I am Innocent stainless, un
spotted, Inoffensive, dove-like, lamb-like, with clean
hands and with a clear conscience. I demand atone-
reparaUon, ootopensaUon, propitiation, amends,
f ,s;fc ' tJ ... , , , ,
nake them aU, Mr. Roget." said the Judge; and I
was going for the policeman when I awoke. And so
conversation, which could hardly be called a
r conciseness brevity, terseness compression,
condensation, or pithiness, came to a close, termina
tion,' conclusion, finis, finale, finish, determination,
and end.
THE BAT: Jl FABLE.
.i- h. P. s y y
A mouse, one time, rendered a service of some Im
portance to one of the eagles of Jupiter. "Ask," said
the grateful bird, "anything that you desire, and In
the name "of, my master, Jove, I promise to grant it
to you.", -;
"Oh, sir " said the mouse, eagerly, "I have long felt
the mortification ' of living among such, t vulgar
creatures as the tests, 'and have ardently "des'lred to
' associate 'with, the more refined society of the birds. J
If you could but grant ma wings 'ij'iy happiness would
be complete.", V "
"Consider ' well what you ask," said the eagle,
. gravely1, ' "Nature has placed you in a certain grade d
of society,' and you need not hope tbat.wjngs alone
will make you a bird." ..,- , : -. . ,
have considered' the ! matter., thoroughly," said the .
anything wrong at home?" the little old man asked
' him; and when the little old dog kept on pulling, the
little old man ran out to the little old hltching-rail,
untied the little old hone, Jumped !a hla little old
wagon, and whipped tip the little old horse to aa fait
a trot aa he"' could tra?L
When finally he got to hie little old hones he saw
so little Old woman anywhere about, eo he quickly
drove hack to the little old barn, and there she lay,
etlU groaning on the ground. ,
The little old man picked up the little old woman
in his arms and carried her Into the little old house
and laid her on the little old lounge. Then they sent
for the little old doctor, and he came la hla little old
TIPSY TOOK THE LITTLE OLD MAN'S COAT
TAIL BETWEEN HIS TEETH AND PULLED AT IT.
buggy with hla little old fat gray horse and gate the
little old woman a little old pill, so that she was soon
well again,
' But they all knew that If It had not been for the
little old dog the little old woman might nerer hare
got well, so they gare him the best there waa In the
house to eat; but they eold that little old cow to the
little old dairyman, who llred in a little old houie
back of a little old hill. And erery day the little
old dog Tipsy would trot down to make a Tisit to his
friend the little old cow.
S
mouse, "and feel certain that If I had. but wings I
could at last associate with those I have ao long
envied and admired."
"Very well," said the eagle; "be It so!" and, in
stantly, wings springing from the mouse's shoulders,
the first bat was created.
' His ambitious desires, however, were not realised;
for the birds, perceiving that he still had ears and a
"tall and was, besides, covered with .hair, would not
associate with him, while, upon the other hand, his
own pride had withdrawn him from . his old com
panions. "Alas!" said the poor, lonely animal, "why was 1
not contented with the humble sphere that nature
intended me to fill? My very wings, that I hoped
would be my pride, now prevent me from walking
upon the ground, where I belong." ' ;8
. So mortified and disappointed waa he that thence
forth he ventured out Into the world no longer by
daylight, but only at night, when all other creatures
had retired.
THE PENCIL BEWITCHED.
"Then tell me, what are the tasks I must perform
to win the princess's band?" said the handsome young
prince,
"Thera la but one," replied the prince's fairy god
mother. i "Is It difficult?" the prince inquired.
"You may try it and see." she answered. "Here la
the picture of an envelope. You are to draw this with-.
out looking on the paper."
"Wth my eyes open?"
."Certainly," answered the fairy godmotber, "but ;
you must not look at the paper." - . ; v
' "Can I use a mirror?" i
"If you think It will help you," the fairy said. And -then,
with a diagram of the envelope before him, the
prince boldly set out to make a copy.
Suppose you try his experiment, and see If you nd.
as he did, that the pencil had been bewitched? -,
Directions. Place a piece of paper, pinned down,
on a table. Then arrange a book, or screen of some
sort so that you cannot see your hand or pencil, ex-
cept as reflected in a mirror, held before you.
- v . BENJAMIN WEBSTER.
, Copyright by The Century Company
SMILING, SLIP ASLEEP.
By Alex Jeffrey.
Live, my child, so that each day
Bring Us share of work and play;
So that you can truly tell
There are some who love you well;
So that when night's shadows creep
You can, smiling, slip asleep.
Good night, mamma; papa, too.
One more day they've lived for yon;
One more day of joy la done,
MY GARDEN.
By Erlo Parker.
Oh. in my garden every day
It should be always playtime,
And every bird should have a nest,.
And all the world be May-time!
And everywhere would be my own,
And thera would grow together
White winter flowers and buttercups,
All in the sunny weather.
The rain should never come by dsy
To stop the blackbirds' alnglng;
The wind should only sometimes blow.
To set the bluebells ringing.
SECOND SIGHT ON
ByJ.O.
The rule that governs this little circular bicycle
track Is a very simple one, and yet there seems to be
a mystery about the way In which it works. Let the
one who plays the trick, and whom we will call the
station-master, go away to some place from which he
cannot see what you do. Start an Imaginary bicycle
along the track at any station marked by a flag. Be
ginning with the number on the disk opposite the
flag at which you start (say 8 at the bottom of tho
Illustration), and calling the next station "nine"
(even though it Is marked 3, If yon are counting to
the right), count the stations as you pass them. Go
as far as you please, then return, stopping when the
number of flags you have passed coming back reachea
the same number as that at which yo'u stopped in go
ing forward, and the station-master, on being shown
the station from which and the direction In which,
you started, will be able to tell you where you fin
ished your return Journey.
Begin, for Instance, at station 8, at the bottom of
the Illustration; call, this station (as It la marked)
"eight," the next, say to the right, "nine" (never
mind what It is marked), and so on until you have
gone forward as far as you care to, say until you
have counted to fifteen, that Is, at the disk 6 at the
right, near the top. Now return, calling the flag
f Am which yoa start back again "one," and reckon
ing each flag you pass as an additional one until
One more night of peace Is won. '
Now the shadowa round us sweep. '
You can, smiling, slip asleep. -
Into sleep we softly slide
When the heart Is satisfied.
Yes, you've had a happy day
Cheery work and gladsome play; , V
And as darkness gathers deep
You can, smUlng s-M-p a-s-l-a-e-f.
if
The butterflies would let me coma
And look quite closely at them.
And birds and rabbits sit quit still
In case I wished to pat them. ' -
And by the walks I'd watch a brook
Run in and out and under;
And then, could not the flowers do .
Without the rain, I wonder?
Oh, in my garden every day 5
It should be always playtime, ;
And every bird ahould have a nest
And all the world be May-time! .
A BICYCLE.TRACK. ,
Beard.,,' , .- " . " , ' ' ' '-
you have counted a number equal to that at wblcv
yon left off In going forward (namely fifteen), and the
station-master will astonish you by tailing you that
your course is finished at the disk . In this cas
marked 7, at the upper left
Try it and see. The secret of the trick is as aimp!
aa the rule that governs the track. All the statlo:
master, therefore, has to do la to count along, in r
opposite direction from that in which you say j
started off,' as many stations as ara indicated by t:
number on the disk opposite the flag at which you t
gan your course include that initial station in t
count' ' 3 k&&P'V.
If. there were only one starting-point the Cs:
would always occur at the same atatlon; but as &
starting station at will may be used, the trick may
made to appear mora confusing. If, Instead of e!
or any other number, you should call the stat:
from which, you start "one," and count forward s
number, and' the same number hack again, you wor
of course, bring up at your starting-point; wher
if you call tho station from which, you begin y
run "eight" (or any other number, depending c;
the station from which you choose to start), you t
pus It on your return, and go beyond it eight or
many stations as will equal the number of y
starting-point.
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