, THE OREGON SUNDAY ' )OURNAL, PORTLAND SUNDAY KORNINa MARCH 2 1903 ' ' , ,
" . . I " I I I III I I I .1 M. 1 111 In 1 I I I I I I I I j
:'' ."Copyrlgnt. l0i. by The North American Company. ')?'' V.VV .. i'-v'olL ' ' V
y--- - . , ,- . .. . . - - - mr f
TOM wii very dirty littla chimney-sweep.
He Jived In a big
city where there were plant or
' chimneys to sweep. Tom never
washed himself, for there wu no water
In the court where he lived. He cried
half of hla time and laughed the other
halt He cried when ho had to climb
the dark flues, rubbing hla poor kneea
and elbowa raw; when aoot cot into hla
eyes: when hla maater beat him, and
when he had not enough to eat. which
happened every day. lie laughed the
' other half of the day. when he waa
toaalng pennlea With the other boya
or playing leapfrog. Tom never wor
ried about being a chimney-sweep,
or being hungry, or being beaten.
He aald to himself, "When I am a man
there la a good time coming.'
One day Tom's maater, Mr. Crimea,
got an order to clean the chlmneya at
a very grand place, far out la the coun
try owned by a very rich gentleman.
So. at I o'clock one aummer morning,
Tom and his maater started out
Mr. Crimes rode the donkey In front
and Tom, with the brushes, walked be
hind, out of the court and up the street,
and toon they had left the city far be
hind. At; last they came to a very
grand lodge and 'Crimea rang at the
gate. Out came the keeper at once.
They all walked up the great avenue in
front of the mansion. Tom as he went
along" peeped at the aleeplng deer, which
he had never seen before, nor had he
ever seen such big tree. It seemed to
him that the sky rested on the tops of
queer murmuring
noise all about, and Tom, much putsled.
aaked the keeper what it waa.
- The keeper told him It waa a great
many bees bussing among the flowers,
"What are bees?" asked Tom, never
having heard, of bees before.
They make honey," said the keeper.
i AmVJEpJ
Mm .
I a-. WIKAJ H I them.' There was. a
Am tvfi
S - . .MI v Vf .mrvi -w:,at ta honey V aaked Tom.
N H 'X "Hold your tongue r aald Crimea.
"Let the boy be," said the keeper.
"He la A nice, civil Utile fellow," and
Crimes laughed.
"I wish I were a keeper." aald Tom,
"to Uve In sjch a beautlffl! place and
have a real dog-whistle at ray button,
like you." The keeper laughed and told
Tom that some day he might be. , '
At laat they reached the houae. Tom
swept o many chimneys out that he
got very tlrod and a little mixed up.
He cam down the wrong chimney and
found himself standing on a hearth in a
room, the like of whloh he had never
seen before. This room was all white
i and had plcturea on the walls, and he
saw a waahatand with soap and towels
and a large baaln full of water on It
He thought,. "What a lot of things for
waahlng; she must be a very dirty per
on who has to waah so much." And
then he looked toward the bed, and
there he aaw the person and held his
breath with wonder, for there lay a
most beautiful little girL Her face was
almost as white as the pillow, and she
had long hair like threads of gfcd.
MADE HIM WONDEB
Tom wondered whether she was a real
live person or a wax dolL
"No, she cannot D dirty," thought
Tom, and said to himself: "Are all
people like that when they are wash
edf and he looked at his own dirty fist
and tried to rub off some of the soot
"I wish I could look like she does."
He looked around and saw standing
close to him a little ugly black, rag
ged figure, with big eyes and grin
ning white teeth. He soon saw It
was himself, reflected in a big look
ing glase. For the flrat time In Tom's
life h found out he waa dirty, and
tie felt ashamed. Aa he turned to
aneak up the chimney to hide he upaet
the fender and threw the fire-Irons
down with a nolle like thunder.
Up Jumped the little white lady in
her bed and. seeing, Tom, screamed.
In rushed a atout, old nurse, and ehe
made tor Tom, as she thought he had
come to rob them. Tom doubled under
her arm and across 'the toom. and was
out of the window la a moment
Under to window spread a tree,
and down the tree he went like a cat
and across the garden lawn toward
the woods, leaving the old nurse
screaming myrder and fire at the win
dow. The gardener saw Tom and
threw down his 1 scythe and gave
chase. The dairy maid got the chum
between her knees and spilled all the
cream, and yet she jumped up anda
Joined the chase. The groom In the
stable, the plowman, the keeper, all
ran after him, all ahoutlng "Stop
thief!" And all this while Tom ran
up the park and made for the woods.
He heard hla pursuers' shouts die
away In the woods, and. chuckling to
himself, he turned away from the' wall
-and. ran on. , -'
On his way he saw spiders who sat
on their webs, and lUards, brown and
green, and under a rock he' saw a
great brown, sharp-nosed fox. :, She
had five little baby cubs, around her;
they were rolling about and playing
with each other. When they saw Tom
the mother caught on up In her.
mouth and the rest came after her,
and Into a. crack in the roc;k they 1
want II next had a fright as, whirr,
poof-poof,'-cook-kick, something went
off In hi face. He thought the ground
had clown up. but It was nothing bat
a big bird.
At last he saw, many, many feet be
low him, a cool stream, and by the
stream he saw a cottage. He came
slowly up to the open door and saw
inside a nice old woman. When she
saw Tom ahe said:
"Bless your little heart, where did
you come from? Come in and rest
and I will give you something to eat"
TOM FELL ASLEEP
So Tom went In, and the wgman
was kind to him and gave him some
thing to eat and put him on a sofa to
rest Tom fell asleep and dreamed he
heard the'littl white girl crying to
him!
"Oh, you are dirty;' go and get wash
ed!" and he cried out loud, again and
again:
"I must be clean r
He got off the sofa, half awake, and
crawled out of the cottage to the
bonks of the brook. He pulled off all '
his clothes, which waa easy enough,
they were so ragged, and put his
little feet into the water and then
his legs. "Ah." he said, "I muatebe
quick and wash myself." So he tum
bled himself as quick as he could
right Into the stream. And he had not
been in It two minutes before he fell
fast asleep, and when he woke he
found himself swimming about in the
stream. ;.. , . . - ..... j
" In fact the fairies had turned Tom
Into a water baby, and a merry,1 happy
water baby he was, and ha was never ';
tired or dirty again. ,i ' .V -
r ii r ii i. - ...
The Cat Orchestra
THERE were four of them Fluffy,
Snowball, Tabby and Thomas. Udt
. Thomas, the pussy , with' . th
glossy black coat' was ' the' cleverest ;
of the four. 4Ie it was who organised '
the quartet The four pussies sang ever
so nlcely. .lunder the. ..leadership . fit
Thomas, and surely It was only envy
that made the Human Beings around ..
them angry. However, this did not pre -vent
the quartet from practicing.
One evening when they had gathered
in the big library for a chorus, Thomas
suddenly .thought that the musto was
incomplete without the ' accompaniment
of stringed instruments. So he directed
the other puaaies to twang the viol
and violin and guitar t at lay on the
couch nearby. He had often seen
Human Bolngs play these instruments
so he knew exactly how it was done,
He explained it all very carefully to
the other members of the quartet
Then Thomas waved his paw In air
as a signal for the muslo to begin.
The next moment Instead of sweet In
strumental muslo mingling with the
song of the chorus, there wu a succes
sion of simps and whirrs aa the ctrings
broke under the sharp claws of. the four
pussies,
Thomas never found out Just what the
matter waa, for a liuiran Being sent
the quartet flying In ail directions, while
he said very ugly things about cat
choruses in general. Thomas' feelings
were greatly hurt
Bather Difficult.
One of the professors absent-mindedly
aald the other day, while calling the
roll:
"When the names are read out all the
boys who are here will answer 'present
those not present will answer "absent.'
.1
life
mm
AN "APRIL FOOL" REVENGE
The Boy Martyr Magnetic Experiment
"I
JUST tell you. Skinny he's
grown so all-nred conceited
that I" can't stand . him.
What's more, I'm not golng-
to try," firmly announced Billy. ...
"Oh, I aay," pleaded Skinny, "let's
give Jerry one more chance. We'll see
what the fellows think about it ny-
way."
As a result of this conversation, a
liHsty and secret meelng of the "Bloody
Bobbers" was Beld in Warner's hay
loft AS' were present exoept Jerry
Coleman, and especial care was taken
you're, right; maybe lt'a best to try
out some of the others. I've had my
eye on one feller In particular. He
knows heaps more than any of the
rest of ua. an' I've no doubt he'd make
a auperyer sort of a leader. Fellers, I
sommernttt Jerry Coleman for cap
tain." Juat about one minute was con
sumed in the election of Jerry. The
vote was unanimous; enthusiasm was
unbounded.
Jerry, evidently conscious of his new
dignity, strutted over to the highest
one?" sputtered the "April Fool" cap
tain. Skinny laughed carelessly. "Oh, say,
Jerry; you didn't really think we elected
you captain, did you? I thought you
would know it was only an April Fool
Joke."
"Only a-a-a April Fool Joke!" stam
mered Jerry, leaning against the fence
for support
But Skinny had already darted off.
merrily whistling, leaving Jerry staring
blankly after him.
The lad who had been captain for a
day sank down by the roadside. For
fully Ave minutes he lay aa though be
numbed. Then he buried his face in his
hands and sobbed violently,
Jerry was not in school that afternoon,
nor was he seen by any "Bloody Rob
ber" during the rest of the day.
The "Robbers" didn't xt -nearly as
much fun out of the Joke as they had
expected. Indeed, one- and all confessed
tlmt it was "an awful mean thing to
do." They hadn't even the satisfaction
of knowing that the lesson, cruel though
It was, had effected a cure. But it
had.
r
rN THE beautiful churchyard of
Orantchester, near Ca- Midge, Eng
land, there is a small slab about a
foot square. Close under the s...de of a
grand old Saxon tower It stands, and It
la all that remains to mark the spot
where lies the heroic lad whose mar
tyrdom is pathetically told in "The
Chorister." m
. The youth was a choir boy of King's
College, and was about 15 years old.
Before King's College Chapel was
occupied by Oliver Cromwell's soldiers
during the civil wars, a faithful band,
among whom was the choir boy, had
cut out the beautiful stained glass
windows and buried them In a secret
place.
The boy was seised and brought be
fore Cromwell. He was ordered to re
veal the hiding place of ti e windows,
under pain of instant death. He bravely
chose death, and, without a trial, was
mercilessly shot outside tse chapel.
Many viaitors come Into the church
yard to examine the slab and to talk
of the heroio death of the martyred
choir boy.
A Difference.
James Toothache again, eh? I'd have
the thing pulled out if it were mine.
Joseph So would I if it were yours.
T
L across the top of a glass. Grasp
one end of the rule between the
forefinger and the middle finger.
Secure a small sheet or plate of
hard rubber. Rub it vigorously with
a piece of silk to generate electricity.
Hold the piece of rubber between the
thumb and forefinger of the same
TrTfeDDY Who Stood -
- on His Head
JERRY, THRILLS HIS AUDIENCE
that Jerry should not hear of the convention.-:
" , :
There was a silence ; for-' a moment
after Captain Bill. Wumford bad stated
the purpose of the meeting. -Then Bill
Kane arooe. Bill always formed opin
ions mighty quickly, and clung to them,
. too.' .. .
"Fellers," said he. "I think there's
a whole lot in what Bill says. Jerry
brags more than anybody I've ever
known." i .,
"Never made your own acquaintance,
then,"' suggested Joe Stanton.
"And ho does less than any one else,"
continued Bllh . disregarding the laugh
which Joe's remark had caused.
"April Fool should be the best time of
all to cook up some kind of a revenge
on Jerry," remarked Skinny, reflective
ly. He added: -
"Why not hold a sham meeting the
flrrt of April and elect Jerry captain?
When he finds out afterward how we
fooled him it ought to take some of that
UiMiinc uyniiHf VUfc ll J J 1111.
Skinny' plan was adopted with ac
clamation, and the members ftf the
"Bloody Robbers", adjourned to gloat
over their Intended revenge.
Jerry little suspected the gigantic con
epiracy directed ag -inst him. So he was
Biirpriaed not a little w en Billy called
the meeting to a semblance of order
nt the appointed time, on April L and
"Members of the Bloody Robbers
I've asked you to come here so's to elect
a new captain. I ain't got no special rea
son for rfeignin. Though 1 haven't
,ione nearly us good as Skinny did as '
;1ptatn. still I ain't altogether ashamed
my record But there are other fou ler
here who are mueh more deservin'
and 1 want to give 'era a chance." "
When Billy bad seated himself at
the conclusion of thi' announcement.
n i ii ii . , v.w r. ... . U.BW. Q &
ij! !1 1H I'VflllUU
part of the haypile In as haughty a man
ner as the uneven "and unstable sur-
- faee of the hay would permit As fee
gazed ovor bis audience his cheat
swelled visibly, and, as Bill Kane aft
erward declared so did his head.
"I am deeply fected by the honor
you fellers have bestowed on me In
,so great a quantity," he said sol
emnly. , "Hurray for Jerry!" yelled the band.
"An' I want to say that I'm awful
much obliged to you. Comin' from an-
other town, is Skinny says, I've learn
ed lots o' twists that you-fellers ain't
accustomed to. 'Course, I ain't stuck
up about it 'cause I know it Just hap.
pened so. But you can bet your life
that I'm goln' to lead you fellers the
very best I know how. And when I
cry, 'On, brave men, an' . foller me!'
I'm dog-gone sure that every one of
you will foller yer captain Into the
thickest of the fight. - That's all I
want to say, 'cept to thank , you
agram."
In the general hand-clapping and
howling that followed this gallant
speech, Jerry failed to hear Jack War
ner mutter to Skinny: -
"He says he'll lead us Into the fight
does he? What, that guy never was In
a fight In Ms life!'?
Before the members of the band sep
arated Jerry, pompously, announced
that there would be a meeting tomor
row after dinner at the Cave an' he
didn't "expect to find any feller late."
The next afternoon, as Jerry came
from the bouse, he met Skinny, who
bad purposely loitered outsido.
"HUo, ' Lieutenant - Sknny," said
Jerry, in a tone of infinite condescen
sion; "I s'pose you're on the way to
'l7s ; i
'M vV : 1
tlitf f-A-i-
.... r- v, 1 '
' u i - i .ni l m r' r- rin - hiim-h ii mmum
x i r
. '..'.II 1 I I I I , . II. d .
'- . ' . ..,'&,;"')..':- . I...;!;;.., . '-'.y'--i-v '.;:;.vii 'Bit . . .r-, . .
"The old cow Jumped the moon," re- .
marked Ted.
"When aha should nave been snug In
her bed: - - .
But I'm sure It is true
the meet In nlA.ce r - . ; a mcx m can't ao-
.SkKny frowned 1 ii assumed perplexity. - An4 tha "
Piliy," said
tiin, either.
he, "yen do
"What meetlnar nlacer ha W)
, : "To the cave, of course," sharply xe-
r-iit. m e-v never had a better an. ' .i.n'c.Vni'L" . " t.way, , in-
. . vw ' o meeun I
I ' Didn't X give orders for
"Little boys think they're smart" said-
"But I wonder if they are aware
- ' ;That with me they've no show, :
. for they couldn't, I know,
Stand all day with their feet in the air.
Said the Fuszy Dog, "Teddy, my dear,
Pray take care, there are tacks scatter-
v "Oh. I'm not much afraid, -
For of plush I am made,"
Ted replied as he spun on his ear.
"Much mora comfort you'd find, if you
rose .. ;. v v -" ' '
And stood ' firm . and upright on your :
toes!" ..,..' . . . ...
: The wise Fuzzy barked; :
" But the foolish Ted larked. '
And for answer Just whirled on his
!- .. .. nose. ( , .- . , . -v ...
MATERIALS EMPLOYED
hand in which you grasp the rule.
By touching the rule with the rub-'
ber you will find that pieces of paper
thrust upon the under side of the
other end of the ruler will remain
suspended without visible means of
support.
Tho paper, of course. Is attracted by
the magnetised rule.
Marie Avoided the Tax
TO DRIVE In the magnificent lan
dau With madame was a thing
to be proud of, and madame'a
maid, Marie, waa as proud as proud
could be.
When . they reached the chateau,
which was madame'i destination, the
great lady bade Marie trudge to the
neighboring town and purchase some
eggs, while she herself paid her call
at the chateau.
Marie clutched the coin tightly in
her hand and started out 'upon her
errand. For a wonder, she bought the
eggs without ' mishap. Returning
however, she was stopped by the po
lice, who explained that, inasmuch as
she had crossed the border of an
other province, she must pay duty on
the eggs before she could return to
the chateau at which her mistress was
visiting.
Marie was in a quandary.- Madame
had given her Just so much to spend,
and she had no more money with her.
But she had also been told not to re
turn without the eggs What should
she do? She retired to the place'
where she had bought the eggs to
think It all over. Half an hour later
she again appeared before the police.
This time she was permitted to pass
inasmuch as no eggs could be found
about her person:
"Well, Marie, have you come back
with the egga?" asked madame, when
the maid arrived at the chateau.
'Tea, t madame, . the police wouldn't
lei me pass wnu ino eggs, they said'
but I fooled them I ate the eggs, and
got by without the least bit of trou
ble!" u
Marie was so pleased with' what she
had done that madame hadn't the
heart to scold her brilliant maid. ;
" , ' Not Trea'ted LlghtT '
. Jimmy was standing near .a hole In
the Ice. shouting at tne toD of hi.
voice. To one who approached he ex
plained his grievance. "Johnny's down
. there," said he, pointing to the hole,
"and he won't give me the skates. - He's
had "em more than his share of time
- now."
- '- Fond, of Solitude. -
' Jessie I do so like to take long walks
all by myself!
Her Friend Oh. so do Z. Let'a go for'
.one this afternoon! v !
A WAT with all sadness; V
m Let mirth come, and gladness
mSf Nothing but fooling:
Tis the one ruling 1
I ( sDPxl Made by King Jester this day I
in Fol-de-rol, la, tool-de-ray f. "
A 0, hail to the merry Fools' Day!
' ' - F
Long Lives.
Boastful Boy All of our folks live
ionger'n any one else's. ? My grandfather
died when he was 106 years old.
Qulot Boy That's nothing. My grand
father died at 250. . '
-Boastful Roy-Two hundred and fiftyt
: av, I'd like, you to prove that
Quiet Boy Any one will tell you that
grandfather died at 250 Main street
Tried it Before.
Farmer-You may .kate on the pond truTV.5? "Brown h.thTSSb"
1in. I-warn you it la ,Ut today, has a much tter cnsc5 "t
Already Broken.
Teacher Samuel, how . many com
mandmentsT did I say there were
Samuel Not any.
TeacherWhy, Samuel! Don't yoa re
member, I said there were tent
- Samuel Tea, teacher, but you said,
i0'-that very one of 'era was busted
..long ago. j.wf-ii,, , f :....-;.,T"
V ' . A- UaturaJt Supoosltion. ' r '
Ethel (who is c!ever-Do you think it '
unsafe. . . . . . . . - Ilf than the bhv nr rti V.
small Boy-whafs Hhe matterT v X Edith (also clevert-Of course why
skated on It last winter and the ice waa , shouldn't1?. "? ThVbVbv of " flSV years
all right
4
'4 I
ago is half a century old now. (
f V , ' " . . ,-1. .