issfl sunidl HiMffiiw Ilpy Fanun(n)niis Ainmsfis 1? YinM oizi?. M'
Fable of the Meddling Crocodile.
It Happened in BirdlancL
. -a
B JAMES J. MONTAGUE,' ; ,
fL NELLY ISNT I ' I - htKRt' UNCl "7 rvHwwl FUN MY Jm ) - . . Li .
t
;i l MORBID, Meddling Crocodile wu bowed with Carling Cart,
J';' Because he found that Life wa quite a Terrible Affair. -That
Geature Ued aad Swore and Stole and Fought, and Otherwise ;
, Committed Wrongs and Broke the Laws, seemed Evil in his Eyes;
The Steps that others Made Aside had moved him oft to Weep, ;:
V And, Worrying about such Things, he lost much Needful Seep, ,
' , Until he thought that he was Called to make them See a Light,
; : To Check them on their Mad Career and Kindly Head them. Right.
X'.y'S ':". .'''' v.'.- ;" J '
D NE evening m he Sauntered Forth Beside the Rippling NOe
' He Saw a Meretricious and Despiteful Crocodile
Engaged jn the Correction of his Lawful, Wedded Wife, ' .
Whom he had Beaten up within a Half inch of her Life.
"Abar said he. -Here's Where I win both Gratitude and Praise
' By making this Rude Wretch Behold the Error of his Ways!
And, stepping in, he Gave the Gent Pat upon his Wrist
And Velvetly inquired if he'd better not Desist
WHEN next the Mohcn Sun arose above the Orient East
' And Shed Effulgent Rays upon both Sand and Man and Beast,
It lit a Shining Something on the Swirling, Whirling Nile.
A something that was Stark and Cold to-wit, a Crocodile ,
Whose, First and Best Meant Efforts toward the Uplift of the Race
.Were met with the Bestowal of a Sandstone on his" Face,
The Which, alas." in bitter Truth, a Pity 'tis 'tis True
The Which said Half Ton Chunk of Stone the Injured LADY threw.
.' . ,. .'. 1 ' . . ' ' 1 1 1 : '
w
HICH shows that Letting Trouble quite Religiously Alone
' Beats all known Ways of Keeping us from Troubles of our Own.
" - 'it "'IS t i.
:KnpckQ'"thc
. 1
fTWji WAY. MEN
fMrr ! !
A
SCREAM
v --;:r..f-.'.
.MAS STOLC
MPART away
SO CAY
. llYr
V NUT
mmm
C". .. j
The Hallroom Boys Pose as Aristocrats.
But They Gme Back to Their Proper Station of Life When Their Landlady Appears on the Scene.
1S0T. ky AaMrieMfrJeorMl
i I , , SAI f ERO, LET'S TAKtACW- )T70
- ) WHAT'5 THE USE OF HQOFINQ W fffiM
)IT HOME ANO GETTI NGOUrV Wljf
JJJrV CLOTHES AU WET.V71 tf Wife
THE TROUBLE TOlCA ' 'tilFV7&$F
QtE'.PlKE THE PEACHES IN THE CAR-LETS HAVE
iwnthuri.TOUbJATONmtrwiFoon ron.20fi.3
LDU.r lotw v.unt IN A"d TUU U JUbf WUiti ON
tHHJNOUHTAND
YOUU BE A BARONET
inn 1 LiNt,'.r-
. - "
lf10N.TF
THEM SIT
UPANDTAIffl
NOTICE .
HELLO OLD CHAP-IES I HAVE A SUITE AT THE SLSOAKUS DRflPl
OVER TOUAKD LADY CHESTNUTLEIQH AND PAT US A VI SIT-WERE
TOO TO HEAR SPkELLETQ AT THE OPERA LAST NlQHT.'RjpHNC
yPfAH1. K.:!. W HIM AT CONVENT CjARDEIsl iSW
HI 3 VOICL HASVASTLT
IHTnQYE U. i 7
"ahhpon mt WORD IF IT! Shi I T I
V0UNi LORD HERRINQCOURT. 1
itMirki s 1 rrwitr sv 1
vvncri tiu iyu.v? it
vvu
I
All
1 vNjs rj y ) (N dear oidIvt)
I
HEAVENS PERC' HERE COMES Q
THE LANDLADY! HOlDUP I
THE PAPER SOS SHE CT I fl
WONT SEE US .
WHAT'S THE (I
II l "41 Alr 'r'VVrV. 'II II X lr l.J JKAn T l I I
sue vur m to 1 v 1 1 1 11 fjr rv w rvi 1 1 1 v t sn a. ik ktmw : 1 1 t 11 -
r;'
r4 "THANK -WHY IT'S PERCY AND FERDIE- BT THE WAY
BOYS I WAS OVERT0"DAY SELECTING VALL RPER FOR THE)
ROOMA.i WAS THINKING THAT A LIGHT PAPER WOULD SHOW
TO A BETTER ADVANTAGE AS YOUR HALL-ROOM WOULD LOOK Sd
MUCH SMALLER WITH THE "OAF
THE RED ITS ALL THEa m
. . i. . j
1
iyi v
: V -vl 1 i
SHADES BUT IF YOU PREFDj
COMEONPERCJ I
IGUESSWErV-N
r -v v
V
3.
A if
1 f'J-'V '
Rhymo the Monk How He Hates to Get Up!
Ocpnlfht, 1S0T, bf Amttkma-Smitul-KtrnfiiM,
PHC CLOCK STRUCK SEVEN,- 1
THE CLOCK . STRUCK. etCHTV-
THE FOREMAN ON THti . JOB
.. .WAS l-ATE ;
UTS Six OCtocic' l A ; :
IfiHB ! MEM HAD JUST ABOUT Btey) i'v,HO STOLE THF JX)B?- TH5 V 1 ff fHERfe ! NO :.
U '!' ). ' FORCMAN CRlEDj- M YOU v V
NH6M SOMEONE STOLE THE JOB 0R lU HAVE W VYECT POTATOev, i ap t $ )
,V2; '; , - - .FRIED.' J VTTl-
potouinoA T'- ; t iu.cn- HIM ) (" (S5 - 'i
He Writes to His UncIeVjack.
; By WEX JONES.
DBEB UHRKti J1CX I W cott kaw nta b ms tut nttt tommy why dont
B!f miller brown b gar It t a P'r ! I es I want to look
1 think tut U nrittr in nM lfci At tbnav plctars la This ook and tia
? . dm n itoa aea perclrU bow dait Yoo 8af
alaa 8es b It a obt man It baa I bladoa eiich raigtr langwam (la langwan T aplt
bow la tba goldfish bow f la Tba eat bow r,te an ba aea a Ar wrcr fawlt fhtdla
u J aatia la aba ? better . wl? "y??" SZ
bar A black I It was jima Jonana ont naatr atnek Up perbckalda w!t la tbem
I Waaat looking Wbaa ba bit ma and run , unket) an b-i aea good Boy I wll leova a
away . . .
mtatar brown Ha la bar moat trry alt
toimn - 4 ,
. - '.' a v "'
dear ankel Jack I av Jama Jooiaa a
black I t bare my 1 black 2 -
bow la tba goldflab la enny of tbm airlm
mln with tba nndernaatb alda aptf Tbara
if tby !a aod ,
v can tall y tba WbKa wlek'u oa tba
Duderueetb alda
1 Am not faclra aa good 2flay nlatar
brown He brot alaa A bocka of Kaadjr last
Oi( an i am. ic
narTor 2 return aa I aea U prom ltd ma Tba
mown ana yuie nar z nrwg it
bat Ha want away aa alamd Tba dor
- ? "
-leer nokel Jack bow U tba t eat aa tb
cattena
km la anfU ;1 "
. bow 1-la V -
tba mowaawls beter tbaa a froir It llraa
In a kage o can pall Its tall i make It
qneek tba eat watuhea It 1, Tblnk. It
Ukea it v " ' - 1 : : - '
niiatAP tipnwA a-a Ift fi ma laat tilt ha
It waa A big bocks he la Vary alaa tommy ram 2 the dor And aea tommy I brot yore
. " - '., . mnwa la Your Slater At hum and aha waa
deer onkel Jack I pat a frog It waa live behind Tba dora aa I aea aba waa crying
In Jama Johnanna poket And bo yelld when all day an abe cam Out and aas a horrid
He found It In hla poket an teecher aba little beeat I Wasnt and aba waa an mltr
yelld 2 when aha aaw It It Waa, fan tben brown be klsat bar aa 1 Sea yah yah a
butt aba alapd me an It waaent aucb fanny klaat a erl . . .
tben do a like front 1 do tber lunrn when bat Ha dldnt rat mad hnt. ha a ma a.
yon tlkkel them with A traw , nlkket and 1 went an bot P nnta tba mowsa
mlttcr brown be aea He likes frogs ba ! got oat of It kag and the cat la looking
m he will rrtng me A white mowae tor Toe It I dont care miater brown la gom I
a Pett It laeat like the mlae that eeta gtv me A ball dogg I will mak It chaw na
yore cheea An geta cot to A trapp tommy jama Jontona hla ia A frencb puddle .
now ? m ua Kom nan . t r now it I anna . . i .
- " i ' " how ia the cattena did I u dnawad enny
deer ankel Jack ulster brown ttetit aa tommy .
Household Hints.
. . By C. B. QUINCY.' ; . .:
rrm . DAINTY Christmas tree can ba made
H i oat of a grand plana by tearing out
' 4 v tba wires and arranging tbem In a
brancbllke effect Another plan la' to buy
a small tree, bot tbe first way ensnrea a
mora natural effect
When boiling eggs do not forget that
no matter bow long yon boll the water,
tbe eggs will not cook If yoa forget to pot
tnem in ine water. . -
If yoa, are a man and are let la for. a
Job of nailing down carpets,-provide your
self with ' 1 soft hammer. 8 dosen sbarp
tacss ana l gross oi oiunt worae.
Before sweeping a carpet pour e lot of
aabes and dust over It This wilt encour
age tbe carpet sweeper by exciting lta
ambition.. ' "
To dean a window by knocking all tbe
glass out ' Is alorenly , In the extreme.
Tickle tbe glass gently with a three-cornered
brick. ' " - j "
Layer cake la ao called bacaaee It Is
constrncted In layers. If built mora tbaa
fire atorles high, 'the eaaleat method of
eonatruction la the ateel akeleton. - -
' Hlca hare a strong dislike for crts,
which seems strange as eats are gennlnel
fond of mice. - ' - "
Clearing House certlficatea are naefal to
put under carpete. This makes tbe carpets
last longer ; an
catesv,,,.
so tba clearing hvoae certlfl-
e,'e
' A food thing to do with a roast turkey
in to eat It , .
.. Pastry should ba "made light, but not
absurdly aor.. A-pia that three man can
lift ia about right , .
vvr " v ;
I-"' Weak Minded. 1
"Sha'a really too young to ax shooDtng
alone,'1 ' -
"Yes, she is rauer impressionable."
"ImpreaalonableT How do you -meanf
'"I mean she' liable to aet excited and
toy iometbJng."-PbilalelpiUa Presa. , ,
Servants Hall Literature.
; By JAMES J. MONTAGUE. '
(Upton Sinclair and other novelists hare
been getting points oa how the rich live by
working for them as eervanbv Newt Item).
JO mors ma Newport hottett head
I bowed with carking cares
Regarding what it dona and said
r By (bote below the tlaira.
The butler wears a Watbboard brow,
- The nurtemaid ttayt in nights, ..v r
For all the serving pertont now . "
'j , Are literary lighta. "
Yoa footman, sneering in' disdain " '
Behind the metis. chair that's Hall Cain
HTHE lady in the apron who ,
i '' I ladling vermicelli '
Into the (teaming, tavory slew
It Mitt Marie Corelli. . '
While Rudyard Kipling itiffly stands - ' .
ihere where the doors aiar.
And ceremonioutly hands
The mittreta from her car. v
The while he's noting down with cara ,
"A clothetpia with' a hank of hauT
OUT in die ( tile-lined carriage room, 'y
- -. In raiment crude and coarae.
It Henry James, ditguited as groom,
' And currvina a hone. '
By hit perturbed portentoue frowa
' And cerebrating eyea
One teet he'a jotting color" down
- In words of giant sue, , , ' ,,
Which pretently will come to hand . : ;v .
In books we ahaQ not underttand, , '. .
SO, aren't yoa glad mat yon have not -
"A household full of aerving bmu "
Who find nSe faultt mat yon have -got
" And itab them with a pen ? .
A cook who aelt down oa the tly .
Lampoont upon your wife, : ;' '
A' groom who writes that ,yoaf eat pit
" ' Aed eat it with a knife? -.
We folk who L'va ia almott-hoveb, ' ; T
At leatT keen out of modem novels, v t'