THE. OREGON? SUNDAY. JOURNAU'T PORTLAND, SUNDAY ' MORNIlO, SEPTEMBER4 15, 1907 '
REMINISCENCES OF A NA TURE FAKER
10HN KENDRICK "BANGS TELLS Of 1 THE .'. INTELLIGENCE OF INSECTS
"I
(CopyrUbt. t!07. by Joseph B. Bow lea.)
WONDER Jf th' preeldent d tha
United State la an authority on
ttift hablte of tnsecta," said ' B
ji r --noon, wno, navint oeen
.,' ' ' - "'t now hy
dm that afternoon, naturally had tho
.......... ...w'o' tiuaaUALly before
him. ,. , 'V';: . ' ? .".'.
i reckon ho la," aaid tha postmaater.
"He'a aurrounded by 'am down, to Waah-
In'ton." , "
"I don't mean tha kind that cata
eleoted to tha aenate an' bousa o rep
. 'aentatrvea, said SI, '1 mean tha real
kind the buailn' kind," '
"That I don't know." returned .the
poatmaater. . "But for bet It ain't an
awful lone ahot that be be. Far'a X can
aee they ain't much In thlf world that
he don't know all about, ox can't , find
out all about In time for the early edi
tion o' the newspapera In case lie feela
like takln' a whack at It WhjV
"O nuthlnV aaid Bl, ruefully rubbing
tne ena or nia none, "l waa jeat won
derin' If anybody'd ever thought enough
about bugs an' thlnge like that to alt
down an' atudy 'em careful"
" I have." aaid the captain, "an takln'
mem an together I consider tne inseot
life to be about aa intereetln' as any
subject under the canopy;" '
"D'ye think they have bralnaT aaked
Bl.
"Soma have an' some ain't," aaid the
captain. "I ah'd aay for Instance that a
bee that can aet down on a hollyhock
or a bit o' honeyauckle lookln1 for
honey wss a durned fool for aettln' on
the end o' -your noae In' the expectation
o' flndln' anythln' aweet In your dispo
sition. But because one bee ain't got
any bralna ain't any excuae for savin'
thet other bees hasn't got none neither.
'K I was a bee In thes here parte with
them summer girls lookln' like ripe
peaches and cherries up to the Ingle
nook around I'm blamftd If I'd waste any
time foolln' around A desert o' Sahara
for beauty like you, SI."
"Wall, I notice them artist fellers that
comes, up here lookln' for things to
that time I sot on to what ha waa doln'.
He waa fry In' to prove that Insects
eouia oe taugnt mints, an' ne aaia mis
here happenln' proved It Te aee, cap
tain,' he says, 'them tumblebuga prove
my pint, ju ye notice wnai tney re co
in' t Tea.' . says I. they're clayln'
football.' Treoleely.' says he. Tfe'va
hit It aquare on the heed. Wow what
does that prove T It proves,' he says,
'that they hey aome o' the same In
stincts aa college boya has, on'y they're
f ot moT sense. D'ye hear them yellln'
heir heads off while thla game's gotn'
on? I listened good an' hard, but they
waan't nary a sound. No,' says I. 1
don't hear notblnv Tou bet ye don't,
says he. po ye aee 'era bet tin' good
moner on the results 'I ain't seen the
flash of a nickel aaya I. 'Are they
caattn' renections .upon their parients
by alngln' that they're eons o' Gambo
lleVsr ne continued on 'An' smashln'
each other's hats with canes, an' fight In'
p'licemen. an' atealln' signboards, an'
making' fool eyes at a lot o' girls, an'
Salntln' the hull bloomtn' landscape a
eep yeller red T 'I ain't noticed It,'
eaya 1 'Well If that don't show that
they've got more Intelligence than the
average students from rale. Harvard,
Wisconsin. Mlnnysoty or the North Bar
wick Military academy I'll eat my kat
These bugs can play football In a clean,
hullsome. gentlemanly way, which Is
more'n them col Use boya can do. an' If
they can do that what's to prevent their
learnln' Latin an' Greek, an' Mathymat
IcaT He had me atumped all right
though I couldn't aee what kood it
mum do a tumblebua to be able to do
all them things, an' I thought then that
Montgomery waa a good deal of a durn
fool for waatln' hla time on anythln' so
fewtlln. But a month later I changed
mv mind, because one mornlnr' when
emptyln' Montgomery's waste basket I
found a type-wrote letter to him sayln':
Tour article on The Intellectual ca
pacity o' The Tumblebua- As Proven by
Certain Investigation on the Coast of
Maine la accepted for punnration in tne
Scientific Oregonlan. Check for $18
will follow."
Oeer" Vrled 81 Wothersnoon. "Elah-
teen dollars for an article on tumble-
bugs?"
"Yep. said the captain, "An- ne
wasn't over a week wrltln' it, neither,
fly crawled over to a aheet o' white
fcaper he had layln' there, an' Jest
walked around and around, an' finally
when It had walked enough an' sot down
on a piece o' blottln' paper to dry Mont
gomery aaw that In He promenade it
anrkxi mit the words: Thank vsu
for savin' my life. If there la anything
I oan do to reciprocate your moat
thoughtful aaststanoe. pray do not hesi
tate to call upon me.
"O tutt!" ejaculated the poatmaater.
"Ye 'Can tutt till ye drap, Joe." aaid
the captain, "but I know It happened.
Montgomery ahowed me the sheet o'
Baper, an" what I aaya It aaid It aaid.
f court It waan't wrote as clear an'
neat aa the rtpy-book wrltln', but by
Jingo It waa better wrltln' 'n you
could do with yer bind lege with all
your eddlcatlon.
"He did it with hla hind legiT cried
81 Wothersnoon.
"With Mis left hind lea,' said the
captain. "He walked around drag gin'
hie left hind leg after him formln'
the letters with it as he went It waa
covered with Ink an' when he aet down
he'd wrote -what I told ye. Well of
Miiru fhnt nut an Ma In' Mnntvnm-
ery'a head. If a fly could do that with
out Dein taugnt, tney waan i no ena i
to the thlnrs he could do If he waa
taught' and Montgomery waa Jest the
feller to teach him an teach him he
did. At the end of a month he had that
little cuss trained so as he could work
with both his hind legs at once, an'
kick off two or three thousand worde
an hour. The only thing he couldn't
learn waa punctuation marks. Periods
was his lone suit, but when It came to
cotnmai an' lnterrycatlon marks he I
didn't seem to be able to oatch on tor It I
at all. Still, aa Montgomery aaid, It was
somtthln to have his wrltln done ror
him. Unfortunately Stenny got too am
bitious Montgomery called him Stenny
qs l lorroi to ten ye. oienny aoi too
ambitious after awhile, an' beg-an to do i
gomery made one very bud mistake.
He taught the creature to sign his own
name ao's ye couldn't tell It from Mont
gomery's own autamograph. an' one
mornln' when he coma downstairs he
found the fly'h been hUsy on his cheque
to hla own order for a hundred an' fifty
dollars, an' signed Montgomery's name
Twenty
Here
THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE.
paint buys more o' my time for settln's
than they do o' yours," retorted SI.
"I grant ye that," said the captain,
pleasantly. "In the first place I ain't
funny enough to be called pitcheresk,
an' In the second place, as I hered one
0' them lady artists remark, there ain't
know use o' palntln' the lily or tryln"
to put a gilt edge on a refined gold
brick. But speakln' of Insets, . it's re-,
markable what ye' Can teach em if ye
only ketch 'em young:, an' have the pa
tience to keep everlastingly at it Take
the fly for Instance. Everybody thinks
the fly's a. pesky - little. - nuisance
that ain't fit for nothln' but a spider's
breakfast an' for makln' the flypaper
industry a money-maKin enterprise, an
yet I calls to mind a lltery feller I
once knowed down near Klttery that
trained one of 'em to do his wrltln' for
him. t
"Huh!" Jeered the postmaster. "That's
a whopper on the face of It, cap. Ye
never see a fly big enough to hold I
pen in his hand."
"I didn't say ye did." retorted the cat)
tain. "I never so much as mentioned
a pen. This feller's name wag Welling
ton Montgomery, an- ne naa a bungalow
aown near tne navy yara. He was
writer by prefession, an" a student of
insects ror run. I ve seed him settin'
for seven hours at a stretch wutrhln1
an ant tryln' to haul a doormat across
tne grass to wnere his wire waa runnin
an ant's boarding' house. The little cuss
would get a grip on the doormat with
his hind legs and' then start for home
anr motner witn his rront legs, and old
man Montgomery would set there an
laugh fit to kill himself over It. Of
course ne couian t move the mat an inch
but he kep' on tryln' Jest the same, an
Montgomery flnaly Jest to show hli
appreciation of the little feller's Indus
try ana sticKtoitiveness carried 'em
both over to the ant hill, an let 'em
have the door mat all summer 16ng.
An' the ante enjoyed It, too. They quit
buildln' their ant hill and lived In that
mere mat an summer long.
"How'd you know all about It?" de-
manaea ine postmaster.
, I done tha chores that year for
the Montgomery family," explained the
captain. -Ana i nearly lost the Job be
cause I put the doormat back where It
belonged the next mornln'. Mr. Mont-
fromery said I was interferln' with some
nterestln' experiments in Insect life he
was makln', an' waa for throwin' me
off the place, but Mra. Montgomery
said I'd only done what I waa hired to
go, an' they kep' me on. I got ao I was
afread to touch anythln' I found lyln'
i around the place. I remember one morn
'ln' later on It was ralnln" like all get
out an' I see Montgomery's velvet
amokin' jacket hangln' on a tree down
- near the. road, but I let her stav an' till
aoaked. Why didn't ya bring In my
Coat ye jackass!' Montgomery hollered
when he saw- me. , 'I thought may bo
yea aonatea it ror a townnaii ror the
katydids. Mr. Montgomery.' says I. 'An'
I didn't want to Inter f ere with, their pro-
ceeain s or your caiKytauons,' says I.
He aee the p'int all right an' from that
time on we waa good friends, an' he
uaed to Invite ma to oome an jlne him
watohin' stray kugs that turned up.
One day there waa a couple o' dosen
tumble-bugs quarrelln' over a ball like
a lot o college boya, each one tryln'
to nush It a different way. an' old Mont
gomery . waa aengniea. we sat an'
wrltln' an hour every day. That's duru
guod pay. I'd like to be hlrpd to alt on
the grass an' look at any old kind of a
bug for three dollars a day."
"Beats hoeln," said 81.
"Beat's anythln'," returned the cap
tain. "Well, sir, he experimented with
everything in the bug line he could lay
his hands on. He had a couple o'
dozen muakeeters, each one tuned up to
sing a different note, an' when he done
em up in a small paper dox tney souna
ed like a fiddler tunln' up off in the
distance, an' he said he was gotn' to
spend the follern winter teachin 'em to
play the 'Star Spangled Banner.' an.t
'Walt Me Around Again. Willie.' and
other simple tunes, and then go on to
harder things lika 'There'll Be a Hot
Time in me uia Town ionigni,- an
'Onward, Christian Soldiers,' an' 'Yan
kee Doodle.' But nothln' ever came o'
that. He had a friend up from tha
city spendln' Sunday with nlra, and he
carelessly left the cover of the musKce
ter box open, an' that night- they flew
out an' bit the feller that was vlaltln'
him. an he not knowln that these spe
olal muakeeters was different from any
others, squashed every mother'j son of
em except tne one tnat sang a nat
An' as Montgomery said even old Wagg-
ner himself couldn t make any kind of ai
tune out of one note, an' a flat one atr
that."
"Who's old Waggner?" asked SI Woth
ersnoon. "He was a Dutchman that wrote
noises for orchestrys." said the captain.
"I heerd one up at York one night an' it
sounded like somebody was settin' off
a Dack o' big powder crackers in a
chiny shop."
could ye wnisue u. asicea hi wotn-
erspoon, who as a proficient In tho
mouth organ was much interested in
music.
Not unless ye had a tugboat or a
foghorn to do it, with," replied the cap
tain. tJUi we am v taiKin music, we re
discussin' insects. Montgomery was
very muoh upsot by the massycree of
his muskeeter band jest as they waa
tremblln' on the edge o's success, an'
acted kind o' moody-like for a week, an'
then all of a sudden he ohlnnered un
again an' seemed real happy. I tola
him I was glad he was feelln' better.
an' then he told me about what he called
his stennygraphlo fly. That was a new
one on me, but he explained it. A sten
nygrapher is most generally a nice lit
tle girl with blue eyes an' fluffy hair
that set's around when you talk an'
takes down what ye say in a little note
book. Montgomery said they were a
great help as long as tney attended to
business, an' relieved a feller with a
lot of wrltln' to do of a very consld'
rable amount o' drudgin'. Th1 only
trouble with 'em was that they waa ex-
Fienslve an' a leetle Inclined to get on
he nerves of a feller's wife, bein' flirts.:
tious mostly by nater an' costln' any-
wnerea irum a o io a weeic Mrs.
Montgomery had been one before Mont-
Kmery married her, but after they got
ek rrerm -their wtf dtn tour -she ' aaid
she wouldn't take no mere dictation,
as they call it, from him nor nobody
else, so Montgomery ad to do all i.a
wrltln' by hand, an' It come hard. One
day. however while he waa wrltln' an
to It. As Montgomery told me this
Fhowed ..tho possession of crlm'nnl In
stincts, an' he decided that his duty
to .a'clty required that Stenny should
be punished. Consequently he shut him
up In a tin box for two days, an' whPn
he lot him out, the first thing that fly
old was to commit suicide. He dove
head first Into the molasses Jug. nn'
drown hlsself. Montgomery was heart
broken, but ho got considerable conso
lation out of a cheque ror thirty-rivs
dol ars for an article he wrote on Cer
tain Evidences of 8clence In Kites' In
which he toid in simple an touchln
language the tragic story of Stenny."
"Seems to me I've hoard tell of that
feller Montgomery. said the post
master. "Wasn't him name mentioned
in that there article o' th' president's
on the fakirs?"
"Maybe." nald the captain. "I didn't
read that article and I've kind o' lost
sight of Montgomery. The last time I
saw him was three years ago over to
Kennehunk."
"Still workln' on insects?" asked SI
"Yep," ' said the captain. "He told
me he was tralnln' a June bug to butt
out his correspondence on a typewritln
machine."
The Nevermore.
By Rosettl.
Look In my face; my name Is Might-have-been:
I am nlso called No-more. Too-late,
Farewell:
Unto thine ear I hold the dead-sea
shell
Cast up thy Life's foam-fettered feet
between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that
is seen
Which had Life's form and Love's,
but by my spell
Of ultimate things un uttered the frail
screen.
Mark me, how still I am! But should
there dart
One moment through my aoul the
soft surprise
Of that winged Peace which lulls the
breath of sighs-
Then Shalt thou see me smile, and
turn apart
Thy visage to mine ambush at thy
neart
81eepless with cold commemorative
eyes.
Advertising for a Centenarian.
From the Pall Mall Gazette.
German courts appear to take no
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long disappeared. The principal Vienna
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April 84, 1770, to appear before the aaid
court Borne time before March 12, 19o
otherwise he Will bo declared dead. As
Herr Fldelis Rohr would now be IS?
years old, were ne alive, it la hardly
likely that the court will have tha
pleasure of seeing him.
article on how to make limn chlmiM
cleaners out o caterpillars lie saw a' Nearly 200 Iron moldera atmrk t
fly awimmln around In the ink. Bein' Evansvflle the other day because of
a kind-hearted man. he -rescued the an order Issued at the five stove foun-
watched them for four 6ourVa' durti'J wE ha laid It down & "tha , in tt, U,. durlni tta nSoa j&uT
Extracting Free When
Plates or Bridges
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Failing Bldg., Third and Washington I both pkomih: a awp mai aosg"! 4 8 A, M. to 6 P. M. Sundays 9 to 12
T. P. WISE, H. A. STURDEVANT, H A. HUFFMAN and C S. KELSEY Associates