Editorial
Page
OF 1 HE JOURNAL
"-f Ail-
THE JOURNAL
A llDI!PEItHT KWWfArEK
S. JACKSON.
..rvbUaaer
JshltolM4 WTt tettt SuwUr) end
.rr Kaaaa? nonuiii, et Vae Jrl "'
fee. ntb aa4 lamhlU trxi. PorHaea. Q.
gnferad at tn poatofrtc at Portland. Or, fof
trmnamlMjca ttrouaa U atall as eacoad-elaai
Siactnr. - " '
xLirnose mai Tin.
' AS Saeartaieata reaches by this eanbar. tWI
h apwacnf tlx Separtiaeat ye wast. . .,
rVSSIO! ABTSRTTSIMq BPB;WTATI
VrerUad-Benjaaite 6plJ Adertll Afeeev.
IMt tame anat, New Xuckl TtllmM S-eliS-
tug, ChWaf. ' ' " ' '
" Sebacrlprlnar Tense Wr well " eMrai
ta le Galled tuiaa, Oaaeda ktesioel
:-. DAILT, . M '
Bm reef. -S3 SO ( M oBW.J.i.rt.O AO
" ' , . 7 80HDAT ' " " -
to ee .......... ft W On. meets. ......0 JO
V PAU.T ASD SCNDA , r
Oas yer.........T.0 I Oae sanata ,.Q -OS
If a thinf can b done at all,
if can be done easily. -, But It is
that kind of ease with which a.
tree blossoms after long years
of gathering strengths Ruskln.
aessawAaawa. mgim "m saw-saeji
THE"
NEW "ENDOWMENT' AT
. . CORVALLIS. ,, ' : . i
THERE IS wisdom in the new en.
dowinent by congress of ; the
agricultural ' colleges ' of ' the
country. . v Appropriation of
money for' educative purposes is not
for. slaughter, of men or sinking of
ships, as is that spent on armaments.
It is not a, taxation of the poor to fill
the pockets of those ' already , over
rich, as was proposed in the ship-subsidy
graft If is not legislation that
compels people at home to pay more
for American-made articles thsn for
eigners pay for them, as is true of
the tariff. It presents a, loftier con
- -eeptionof the legislative function by
calling in the youth of the nation and
training' them " f Of "best" service for
themselves, their " country and their
countrymen, j -
The colleges of agriculture'and me
chanical arts are the intensely prac
tical phase of education, wherein the
J 1 J I. I. -
mony and provision-made for bring'
ing into utilization - the measureless
resources of the continent. The .set
entific treatment of soils,-the scien
tific way of taking ores and minerals
from the ground, the scientific way
of utilizing- electric power, the scien-
. tific plan of construction wherein all
the ' building . materials 'of earth "are
. involved,theiiracdcalaaiL Jdenjtific
as applied to forests, fields and mines
-in short, the application of science
to everything found on, in of under
the' soil, and the adapting of it to
man's ue all this is the broad, use.
They -are modernised education, pro-
moted Tirst for evolyin g self-sustain-
.ing citizens, and second for bringing
into actual use in the ; country the
crude materials stored during the ages
lor Ul QUiniuri' nu , iiaj'iucaa u
' oo sweeping nave dcch inc ainuca
wnaf fi tttc 'sr)innIi"iTist In tnsnv
instances the great ousy workshops
and laboratories of the east accept the
; .graduates of these colleges by entire
classes and put them into service in
that marvelous industries in which our
country leads the world, and in secur
ing VAhich the scientific colleges are
a more than ' inconsiderable factor.
The act of congress in doubling the
endowment f these College makes
for abctter .and . richer, countryand
builds for a broader and brighter citi
zenship by spending money for pro
moting the noble "arts of peace.'- "
In" hone of these" nationally 1 en
dowed school win. the, added main
' tenance ' be 'more 'welcome' than in
the, excellent, Oregon institution at
Corvallis. where , an 'enrollment i of
more .than 800 jroung, people, makes
the increased - allowance of - urgent
- need and emphatically deserved. ; ! '. '
y... "i. " r" " j-
' COINO AHEAD AT LAST,
LOOKas;if the , United Rail-
I - ways project -were to be actually
X - pushed . forward at . last, . after
many, months t of delay, dissp
pointment and doubtIt 'matters not
ery much to the peopl of Portland
of the portion of the- Willamette val-
ley through which the road .'will run
by whom it is built, so long as the
work goes ahead , and , is completed
within a reasonable time. This, road
will of if self be1 4 Vry valuable ac-
qninition to Tortland and the region
it traverses, .and it will be valuable
slso in the- encouragement and -im
pulse it will give to other' similar and
even larcvr enterprises.
The time has nearly come when
the Southern Pacific with its main
line, cannot expect, to . monopolize
the traffic, of the .Willamette, valley,
Tlicse projected roads will, when
1 ,,:t, do a large and increasing bust
rfj, tut there will be plenty left
f r i'-e Southern Pacific also. Fof
t' roads will develop 'production
1 i
iirics and cause a large in-
(rii( of population all along their
1 i . s, an,?, this strip becomes well
f..!f J x, f.rth-r back also. ' t';"
Tl ' r il frm Salem to Tortland
Icted id the' sot far
distant" future and it will go on to
Eugene. - Those downs will also have
lines to other interior points, so that
each will be a local railroad center.
There will eventually be a network
of railroads throughout the Willamette
valley to accommodate its population
of three, four, five or ten times what
it ia now. There will be unes also
over to the coast; not only two " or
threei but five ot sik jnpre. - - '' ;
Astoria waited ' long many" long
years for a railroad. Now it '. ts
practically the terminus of a great
transcontinental route, and wijl be
ere long the northern terminus, to a
certain extent, of a' coast road that
will -extend clear through .to Sari
Francisco, or at least to-Coos bay.
Hillsboro and Forest . Grove have
waited long for an etectrk line to
Portland, but will not-have - to wait
much longer,; and they wilt also be
put in immediate connection with Til
lamook. ; Salem has talked electric
roads long, but the time is near when
talk will givs. way . to , accomplish
ment'' : r-r-;
New railroads In western Oregon
that are bound to come and. cannot
be very much , longer ' delayed will
work wonders in the development f
this part of the state.- It will - be
pleasant and profitable to watch this
not yet one-tenth developed region
grow, and the building of the United
Railways line marks the beginning of
a new period of development
NOT ALTOGETHER BAD,
W
HILE criticising the late leg
islature let give it credit
for whatever it did that was
good, and for rejecting some
bills that were distinctly bad. -Of the
latter kind the bills to amend the
primary election law and the Aus
tralian ballot law were the principal
ones, ,. but quite a good many bad
minor : bills were , defeated' or re-
mained unreported. " V -
'Of its affirmative meritorious acts
the.railroad i commission Ci bill J was
the most important, and much benefit
may .reasonably" be hoped from it.
Another law that may prove of Im
mense .ultimate . benefit to a lafge
part of the stateis to raise by taxa
tion 300,000 to" be expended along
with a like appropriation by "con
gress iit freeing the Willamette river
at Oregon -City. " The Journal hopes
Ui.aOhi-lclionenthejp4iCotlhe
Oregon, legislature will induce con
gress to appropriate next year enough
money to purchase the Oregon City
locks or construct new ones, .and that
the government will then take hold
of this -work and push it through to
an early conclusion. If this should
be done, the : money raised by : the
state will oei most excellent invest
ment and the legislature will ' de
serve - due credit , for bringing about
a free Willamette river. .W have
no doubt, that -Mr. Hawley and other
Oregon members of congress will
do sll they can in this behalf, and if
they sre successful, and are so in
consequence of this act,' the people
benefited must ' acknowledge that in
one nioney-spending act at. least the
legislature did .very , weli. , ,
4 There are some other) goods , laws
of minor importance, so let us, not
be unfair. and 7 that the legislature
did nothing that was good and-refrained
front nothing proposed that
was eviL . There are several excep
tions, both positive and negative, to
this 'rule.': :,,;1S'';-,a?'!v ...
. BOMB IMPORTATIONS.-
r SEEMS, at' first glance 'that
thert are several things that the
excessively - high tariffites ,' are
' overlooking, , things thai might
possibly ' be made in . this . country
if the duties were absolutely prohibi.
tive. .' '..'.-'"':' '' '.V- -,i
Automobiles, ' for . instance, were
imported last year to the amount of
nearly $SJXC,(XXL During tb e same
time this country exported automo
biles valued -at $4,409,186, thus mak
ing nearly a stand-off, and of these
about $1,000,000 worth went ta Great
Britain, and . another $1,000,000 to
other " automobile manufacturing
countries, showing that in this indus
try we ask no odds of them;, but
shouldn't that $5,000,000 worth have
been kept out by higher duties, on
automobiles 'and all materials of
which they are made? .The thing to
do, as a rule, is to sell great quanti
ties abroad and buy nothing from
abroad. Then automobile manufac
turing must be an infant industry yet,
and as such needs the highest kind of
protection. ,. t 'ft'.; ' . ' .; : ' , yv. ,
, Then why should not the poor peo
ple who own our copper mines, and
delve deep ir. the ground for the red
metal,' be protected by a prohibitive
tariff on eojpper? Amalgamated has
been subjected . to .fierce attacks by
Tom Lawson, and , strugglss . along
valiantly 'to keep its '. Infant bead
above Wall street floods, and yet our
profeioed'proteetionists allowed over
$37,000,000 worth of copper and cop
per ore to be Imported last yesr. At
the tame time we exported $90,000,000
worth of copper, including only about
$2,000,000 worth of one, SO' that the
clearance, of trade was $53,000,000 in
our favor; but why give the pauper
copper producing labor of .Canada or
Mexico a chance to compete even to
this extent with Senator, Clark," Mr,
Henze and our .other copper labor
ers?. , I' t. Y'i
Tbn ' there is cotton, ' $11,000,000
worth of which, raw," was imported
last year besides $1,000,000 worth of
cotton waste. . It was Egyptian cot
ton of long and fleecy fiber, utilized
for mixing purposes in manufacturing
high-grade cotton or cotton and silk
goods, but would we not better "do
without these goods than patronize
the pauper labor 'of Egypt? .Worse
Still, ,we ; imported . cotton manufac
tures to the value of $69,000,000, be
ing 50 per cent -more "than pur ex
ports. .These importations were high
grade articles 'produced- largely by
hand labor, laces, embroideries edg
ings, etc.; but if we haven't infant in
dustries ' to manufacture - all these
things let the tariff be raised so high
that such industries can spring up,
and U necessary give them a subsidy.
What we need to do is to sell .cotton
and cotton goods and bay none. '
Some figures are encouraging,
however; the importations of cham
pagne and other sparkling wines fell
off a little. ; During the past 14 years
Importations of ' champs gne fa ave ' in
creased only ! half a million ' dollars,
while thosvj of laces and embroideries
have i increased ' fron $16,000,000 to
$44,000,000, and of diamonds and other
precious atonea from $14,000,000 , to
$44,ooo,ooa ; ' . :--,..
We can perceive; however, 'a large
and what to our great statesmen
must-appear- msufficient "reason tor
allowing large importations of auto
mobiles,' laces, champagne' and ' dia
monds;; they - are' purchased almost
exclusively by. the rich, i for whose
welfare and . prosperity the govern
ment is chiefly concerned. The arti
cles used by -poorer people, by the
"common, people, ere .taxed., g great
deal higher, in proportion to value, in
accordance with the well established
principle of government that -in taxa
tion the rich should be favored at the
expense of the poor. This is indeed
the basic principle of the Republican
high protective tariff, and It is for
this reason, 'we suppose, that so much
of these expensive things are allowed
toJcom.cin. ,. r.ruila'.MT, , ,
THE MAN ON HORSEBACK. ,
VERY eitiien of the world has
H . "a material interest in the com-
iasi ing session of The Hague con
. ... ' ference at which disarmament
will be J formally discussed. 'The
drift of thenalioTsTirmbre and more
in the direction ' of war' expenditures
so , colossal that, it is problem of
where and how the resistless rush
toward ultimate bankruptcy is to be
topped. " Every government is of
fering princely prises ..and exalted
honors to inventosp who may evolve
the most highly improved appliances
for killing " the greatest possible
number of human being; A modem
Dreadnaught costs $10,000,000, and
the'completion of one in Great Brit
ain is the. signal for laying keels for
Dreadnaughts in all the other coun
tries. In some of .the nations every
producer has to carry-a soldier on
his back,' and there ' the burden is
alreadyT enormous, but "this TJread-
naught era in navy building means
that the past is a trifle compared to
the stupendous coat of armaments to
come. Thert is in - every nation a
class of statesmen -who contend that
the way to preserve the peace Is to
prepare for war, and on that basis
millions are annually taken by taxa
tion front production and wasted in
building the enginery, of death,- The
millions so taken from the art of
commerce - and spent for the trap
pings of war yield nothing, re
turn nothing,- produce nothing, . but
are as truly lost as thrown into the
sea. ' It is a - policy so wasteful of
human energy and so stupid withal,
that Christendom ought on every ac
count to end it " ' ' '.;v -
i The - conference ia' believed to be
foredoomed to a fruitless ending, so
faf as practical results are concerned.
Germany, whose people are hip-deep
in the. mire of militarism,' has' not
yet consented to a discussion of dis
armament At the last session of the
conference , htj delegates "were; in
structed to veto any move for limit
ing her military or, naval program.
Austria, perhaps out of respect to
her German ally, maintains a similar
attitude, and Russia, the other mem
ber of the triple alliance is non-com
mittaL The United States,, least of
all the victim of war lords' and war
chests, leads in advocacy of, discus
sion, and Great Britain and Japan
art willing allies ia, ibe program for
less Preadnaughts and mors f col
leges and commtrce. ' France is fa
vorable, but uncommitted to discus
sion until Germany, her old foe, con
sent s. Italy will yield . to the ma
jority, as will all the smaller na
tions. It is not as hopeful ad out
look as it ought to be, for the peo
ple of the . world deserve surcease
from the demands of the costly msn
on horseback.
i MORE FOREST RESERVES.
HE PRESIDENT , was ' deter
TT:j, ruined to hsve a large num
I ber of " great : new forest re
, : serves in the west, and so cre
sted them before he signed the bill
prohibiting the creation of such' re
serves' without action by congress.
It rnay be a good thing to create
some of these forest reserves, or
portions of them; but as to the oth
ers, or large portions of them, the
need or even good excuse for their
creation is not apparent ;
To what ' extent the . president It
justified in creating these , immense
additional forest reserves to prevent
the "gobbling up" of the forests by
timber .barons or syndicates we are
not prepared to say, though in the
case of much of these lands the tim
ber should be allowed to go into the
possession of those who" wilt manu
facture it - and - ship the surplus
abroad; bat the reason that the tim
ber is needed to conserve water sup
ply is in several cases simply absurd
to people who ,'Vnow the' country.
The : timber in the Coast range . in
southwestern ' Oregon,' where two
great reserves are created, la. not
needed- for ; this purpose, for ' the
water supply is ample, and in tome
localities rather excessive. Think of
conserving the water supply of the
region around Coos bayl 1 . !
v This action waa taken hastily, so
as to take these lands out of the ju
risdiction of congress under the new
tawrvid much of Tthem,-H -may be
expected, will be restored to private
ownership and use; but the creation
of such immense B( in large part
needles! reserves, even temporarily,
will retard settlement and check in
dustry, and be of much injury to the
state and the Pacific northwest r'
LThe. forest-reserve idea. nd Jolicy,
restricted within reasonable limits,; is
a good tone; .but " Mr.' Pinchot who
seems to, nave entirely & is own way
in the matter, has made a hobby of
creating forest reserves,' whether
they were needed or not, and he has
ridden it ; to. a most , unreasonaoie
length. The administration, follow
ing him," seems to nave gone torest;
reicryn .mad. ; -iV-..,'. y.
Billad oi TSVcsu-
Jxooscvelt i.
From' CollUr,ai:
' IVUI VVI A via aaai t
The ordinary hill whloa. remalna for-
AH covered o'er with apeelmena -et
" V. -botany, ' ,'-
Ia hagelrafo and aaae: eat Its heights
. .. seem rthr plain
'And Ha BiUnc broods political mo-
i notony. . :
X nrteir prefer a mount with a crater
- ... aa It fount . - " ; "
" Dropping firebrands like the thundar-
storms or i-iuviuo . T-r-rr
There la aomottilng half aatanle ia eon
AtHnna sa voloanlo.
Tet we're proud ,; ot v our . political
vsrtfc .nmii aiilfursAua
. Rumbllna. grumbUng roll of thunder,
Taav going o orupv - -
..,' ' SUnd from vnndrl .,"' ' '
1 . - . .1 1 ... v. i v '
Where the grafter sloops eontont, ud
tt denly the air le rent v s v
. With a blaat like that which burled
Railway lobbies eough and ehoke In a
..itttA e 4la,m-afiil smoke. t
And the oon script fathera get It In
, the eraalum. . . - ,.,;
Now Chicago beef la shook, now the
poor old spelling-book ' -
Shoutet "Have meroy, - elrel your
-- , heat will crack the shell o me!"
Now the mountain hears its shoulders
and upheave a ton of boulders,
' While the spark deaoend and roaat
,"' fthe. luckless Bellamy. - , '
-r .- .: '''lf ;
With a beetle, apopleetl
Bowling. gTOwllng roll of thunder,-j-
Teddy's! going to blow UP , j -'.Btand
from underl v. J :-. .,
Though there' somstlme scarce a puff
from hi lid. that' Joat a bluff,
nr hi ealmer momenta never mean
- ' eeurtty,--- v.- -:';- " -
And the prophets yell: "look outt he's
Intending for ,t spout . -
: There'll be trouble In the very near
i . futurity. - '
No, we can t foree Jut. what butf hi
I t erater's getting hot "' : '
'i And the seals will soon be propping,
. a thay must again
Singeing up the tariff tatters And the
. mesay old tandpatter-
i There's no telling where Vesuvius will
i '.-; but again. , ' V .v-.-;,
With a Jouncing. nktlon-bonnclBg, '
Bumping, thumping roll ef thunder,
Teddy'e going for to epout
Stand from undrl ,
. t r . .I .
-Advsrtiainst .Psysv''.l
The people' of Stanford, Conneetlont
have .brSn smiling over the ' way in
which Mr. F. 3. Knapp retalUtea on her
husband. ICaepp la a ticket agent for
the New Haven railroad. Recently, for
reasons best known to themselves, Mra
Knapp left her husband. Following her
departure there appeared In a local pa
per the following notlcer . .
"My wife, Grace, having left my bed
and board without any just cause er
provocation, I warn the publlo In gem
eral that I will not be responsible for
any hill eh rosy oontrsct . r
"F. J. KNAPP." .
People wondered, hot next. day they
smiled when they read the following
totlo from Mrs. Knapp:
"I would like to Inform the people In
reneral that I have done washing, gone
out by the day, kept rqomer and board
er, to help support lh house of F, J
Knapp, and I never contracted any bill
for film and never Intend to.
.... ''ttftACifl E. KNArP."
Letters From tLe
People '
Humanity and Immortality.
Portland. March 4. To th Editor of
The Journal s having a most Impor
tant bearing on a Subject with which I
wish to deal In a few letter, I preseot
to those Interested In "Humanity and
Immorality, these 'two propositions, to
which I aak them to give. careful atten
tion: ,.,,
first Man. being mortal, and having
been . "conceived In sin and shapen In
Iniquity," 'la .unable to do anything to
escape th wrath of God, woo la able
to "da troy both body and aouL"
. Second Th conversion of th world.
aa th term la generally understood, can
not be accomplished, either by man or
the Lord.' , ' t
- Regarding th last statement X have
thl to ays Th word convert mean
to turn; and that which Z will show to
be Impossible.- Is that all the people
aofl 'nation will turn, by mean of
preaching and teaching, from being un
believers to believer in Jesus Christ
. . , . NIQHTWATCH.
The Boiling Deep .
By We Jones.
"The ocean's boiling hot; that a why
th weather' warm." Captain Chaplin
of th steamship flhlmosa.
Twas the bosun" : ' mat " who, ' most
sedate, ,' -i'-v--. , V
Huns hi lg e'er th after rait
And, balanoed there, mad me gape and
. - ' a tar , - . . ,., .- - . .--
" As he spun this vereeloua tale:
rve sailed the sea,, boy and man (says
hK . ' . - ; I
For almost a hundred year.
An th porta rv been an' th thing
I'v seen ,. '
- Tou can lay was a'mlghty queer;
But In thl her ship on her latest trip
I'm a Buffering son of toll '
If the whole blamed sea where we sailed
. (says be) r. ;
Wasn't all of a bubbly bolll c
Twas Ilk a dream how th clouds '
i . steam . ..
; Res up to your ehoking neck; ,) jiV
An' that bloom In' steam opened every
Seam, :
-- In out bootlful teakwobd deck. " -r
VOill the kipper' fuss, bet h .couldn't
f. . CUSS, - . . - - , ' . , J
HI lung waa so full ef fog,
80 he smote a tar with capstan bar '
-An' chewed os th patent log.'
It worried me, o I thought (aaya he)
rd sooth th kipper' soul, -80
I say:. "X deem that with nateral
, tam -',....'..... ' :
We'll save Ilk th doos on coal I
"Tpu're right you're right!" In great
.-delight-.....; ... .
Says the skipper, ne longer glum. '
"An' down In my bunk (which I'd never
- thunk) .- , . -. - -. ., .1. .' ..
Tou ll find." says the , kklp, "ome
f. -: (y';::
Wen, that red-hot sea,' for -a fact (says
',-, hl, .- . . -r . .-
In a month would 'a' had as spoiled.
For we hadn't to eeok the fish that we'd
. .' book. . ' -..' .
Seln each one was thoroughly boiled.
An' Tommy Doddj if a whopptn eod -That
we yanked from th deeps below
Hadn't several kegfi of hard-boiled eggs
Inside of it steamln' roe I . ,
Whll th lobster w saw weren't ne
"i - - way raw," .': ' i '
, But eookad to a shtny redi -' '
An' th watch they ; eram onT fln
. sieamea eiams - .
Come up on th deep-sea lead: '
While a sufferln - whale . (so ran th
" - . tai ., - ..
- Twaa all Ilk a bloomln dreamt-
Three hd -eevnd an' round. anL pouldnt
. ouna , . , ,
"As he spouted cloud o' ateem:
AnV the mermaid walls, as they hd
their soal, ' -,
- If ad a wake of our. rwelterln' path.
For you'd think to see the pore things
tears nei
Tou'd broke in a Turkish batht l
Thus the bosun's mate, end I freely
Re left me almost dumb: ; '
But I made a sign, and he says, '.Tor
mine --.
It's thankee hip a rum."T -
: -.Face the Nortbirf'
i.When you take- your dally walk."
says Mine, de Tbebea, the celebrated
Parisian,, necromancer. , whr are von
omethlmea worried and ead. sometimes
gayr it all depend upon whether you
are going north or south, east or west
"If you travel toward the north yonr
nerve are calmed; If west you are meV
anoholy; -cheerful If aaetboundi Impa
tient and fatigued If you wander toward
the aouth. Not only out ef doors, but
In th hone tb earn thing hold true.
Tou will work better and your appetite
will improve If you - face th north or
east Tour deep will be peaceful if
th foot ef your bed be turned to th
north or east - If your back be to tb
south and your face to th north you are
Batnea in a great magnetlo current that
directs the needle of the com pa as, nd
you are magnetically positive. 11 you
face th west you also receive wave of
positive electricity. But It you plaoe
yourself In th opposite direction, th
great terresltal current magnetize you
negatively. If you turn your face to
th east and consequently your back to
th- wast, you are bathed in a negative
current and nightmares are apt to trou
ble your sleep. .'
"These thing are Important Remem
ber them tn building you house, even in
placing your deak, your bed, your fav
orite armchair. - An- you. madam 1 be
careful what corner or your salon you
elect when you are to - receive your
friend on your day at home. The uo
cesa of your entertainment depend .on
your good spirit and they depend en
your choice." , ;
1-, . 1 1 1 ,; ': ;
. House Changed Countries Twice.
A eurlone Illustration of the op and
downs of International ' politics comas
from th Savoy village of St Jean d
Maurienne, where a woman ha died at
th age of SS. In th villag in whlcn sh
was born and without aver leaving It
ha had her nationality changed twice.
- She we born In 1114,. and a Bona
parte had then aelsed 'the territory, she
was ' "French." When th kingdom of
Sardinia was reconstructed the am
rear, after Ms fall, she became "Ital
ian."- and, finally, on Nice and Savoy
being ceded to Franc 'In 11(10, sh one
more found herself rrencn.- .-.
Could Afford to Take Two Pair.
From Judge's Library.
On day, when th northern aoldler
were marching through th south, they
saw an old lady hanging olotbee on th
line. When a aoldler, who needed a pair
of socks, took a pair from th Una, at
said:--
"Tou will hav te par for them."
Th soldier asked her when. Bh said:
: "On Judgment day." , , ,
Th soldier replied:
"Oh, tf you ar going to tniat me test
long I will taks another pair."
Dictionary of Mis
. information "
Wee Jones, Txloogrphr.
ALASKA where th atorte : some
from.- - .
Th Call' of th Riled: -A Btory f
Alaska
The Broiler: An Alaskan Chorus.
, Kid Zero, th Alaska Hour Dough.
Frostbitten Feet, or The Lure ot the
North. Four Bet Seller. - ;
BEB The engineer of a honeycomb.
BISCUIT A rock In the eea of mat
rimony.- , y -
WnhhTniie ennfe I nr a Imnrovlng.
dear; thl 1 a lighter biscuit than -usual
Wlfey Oh, darling, I gav you a door,
knob by mlataka. Domestio Dialogue.
eaMsseasaaaaasai '"
BOIXKR A . mean of upnlylng a
ship with steam and exploslona. -
Captain Where' JagginT . .
Flrt Officer don aloft sir. ! " ,
CapUIn WhyT
Second Officer Went with the boiler,
Ir. Nautical Talks. . ,
CORK A piece of bar Irrwaovably
fixed In th neck of a bottl.
FROO What frog-lags 00m from.
on a log
Expiring frog.'
I will take you down a peg
f when I Xrleaasee your leg.
Charlee plcken..
nTOf Virnm what ' v.'
Oh, a girl 1 a dear and m devil; -a
atona and aalnt In On: ' t :
She' crooked end on th lvl; " . .
. Bhr man ana ene oniy in xun.
Sh stupid, and also h'e witty: :
Sha'e cruet and soft as a dov; . i
She's ugly, and- ravishing pretty;
Dnaroo, ne J ubv oui.iuin, w
- -. . j A Lover's Lunacy..
Essays oy B o d tie ,
''s-''.By;Winiam T. Klrk.." :J-' f
; ' ' MARBELS.." '- -r'"-'
marbels la hard round A thay ar
need as toy by th kid to play a galm
of th aalm calm. . There are many
kinds, such v as Glasses and. Com
mies Agget. etc In , way thay
are . lest like peeput, ' th 1 Aa
gats I the rich on, or Trust.
th Commies Is palmed after the com
mon peepuL thay hav a little money
but thay get brok pretty ay. .
whan w ar little boy at gun we
play with marbels of the regular alio,'
very smalt At when w grow up to be
bis- like nr Pa w play with pool and
btlyard marbels a big aa a hen's egg
Just a costly.
The nlsest galm - of marbels "W "for
Keeps, that la when you win th galir
you take th other boy marbels AV keep
them, yesterday I won all the 'marbels
from my chum dk took them boara to
show them to my Ma., sh ed you are
a bad boy to tak yure friend' marbels
go- and giv tbem back at once. wue
ah waa telling- m to go back . I saw
her taking eight (S doller wlch sh
won from sum lady rroro playing uriog
Wist "..' ' .
; ?...; WEB8TKR. .
" Mister Webster waa a grat man ot
thi couhtry. er which " there -waa -twe
(J) kind. . - . " ; . t- .
It Daniel Webster.
I: " Noah Webtr. , . .
Daniel Webster was a grat lawyer
A a fin speeker, h d many grate
thing In Congrese had them printed
tn th papera, when he waa a llttel boy
his brother Zek eaught a woodohuck
AV waa going to sell it te the butcher but
Daniel sed my brother, would you ae
that Uttel animal aaad Into Foued Veelt
it then -there father made Daniel let th
woodchnek sto.
Noah Webster waa another fine man.
he wrote the dlkbnary, wlch tells u
what everything I. Ilk A Grapefruit Is
a Lemon's Big Brother A President
la a Curly Beaded MAn.Wlch Never Told
a LI eto. ."-t i a
- Whan Noah Webster waa making this
book he had thousands of Uttsl cards
on wlch be wrote the words and there
meaning, but Daniel never played with
that many cards, only (I and sum time
not that many. ' - . - v - ;
Half" Million Pounds Candy Weekly.
Two matinee girls cam out of a
oandy store, each carrying a box of
sweets to pa th time more agree
ably during the Intervals between th
act. Th candy hop proprietor stood
within the doorway, urbanely bowing
and smiling as the customer earn and
went ' - - : 1 .'
"No. thev don't bur much," he said.
In rpon to an Inquiry- - "Twenty to
SO cent apiece la usually tn outlay:
but th small bnyer constitute te per
cent of our customer, snd In -the aggre
gate the candy trade, In this town ts
something enormous. There 0 ere I
or 10 big factories, altogether employ
ing over s.oov people ana paying qui
very year more than $1,000,000 ' In
wages, to say nothing of what they
pay fof materlat Do you know that
this eltv manufactures over 60.000.000
pounds of candy every 'yeart That Is
more man 1,000,000 pouno. weea. 1
don't know how muoh 1 exported, but
tf bait of it goes out Of th city, that
leave over (00,000 pound a week, four-
fifths 'of wbtoh la oonrumed by the
women and children. - Th doctors say
candy 1 bad for the teeth and diges
tion. ' T don't know anything about that
but I do know that th ladle and girls
who eeent the healthiest eat the most
candy. Whoever heard of candy killing
a woman T There ere regular customers
who eome In her every marine day
and buy a bo ef candy, and they gen
erally est It sll during th play, for the
ushers find the empty box under ,the
eat. If candy did them any harm, do
you suppose they would eat half a mil
lion pounds a week T" - .. - , ; -
V Queen Maud's Scrapbook.. .
A rather unique, scrapbook of news
paper ellnplngs ts mad up by Queen
Maud of Norway. Evening are becom
ing long In Norway end th court of
Chrl'tlanla Is not only th youngest on
of Europe, but at th same time one of
th quietest. They "ay Queen Maud
doe not yet. feel nulte at ease In th
new realm of her ?oue, so she devoted
hersvlf to th unique collecting fad.
Th young queen placed order with
every newspaper clipping ageney, snd
receive from them -dally those articles
In which King Hankon or ah I men
tioned. From thl mass of writing aha
selects those which owe their origin to
nothing but the Imagination, the inven
tion or lack of Information of the auth
or and do not cdrreapond to facts.
These are entered In an slbum on the
cover of whlnh she has written "Things
we never said or did." . .
The collection I already pretty vol
uminous and I inoreaalng from day to
day. Later on It will undoubtedly be a
mine of evidence for historical re
searches, and It would be. a good thing
for other crowned persons and states
men te follow th example set by Queen
Maud,. .
Small Change.. Ax
All Is peaceful again at Salem,
.... ... '
The governor's vetoes ar not refer
endlble. ' 'j
' But Mr. Eddy, not Mr. Glover, mad
th money. '
The Thaw case may last till th base
ball season open.
"-i ',
Doubtless any candidate for mayor .
can quote, scripture. ' ., - - "
.- - ' ''"'"....
Is th boom for Coffey for mayor a
temperance movement T ,
. - . ' , ,
' The country la safe from the ship
subsidy grab for another year, at least
'. . .. . , ' - .
If he talked too much. General Grant
certainly doe not rmbl hi father.
' , e:' e ,; .','.';
- No new chief engineer of th Panama
canal ha , been appointed tor several
day now.
e e ' . 'v '
Th bird will sing for the fruit
grower and catch gTub and Insects,
jut th lint,
' 1 ; ..'- ' v - ,
That may hav" been ' a longheaded
society girl who eloped with and mar
ried a eook if he 1 a good one.' t -
1 v-' : '.'... , ;'
The qulokt way to heaven, says an
exchange. Is on th flyer. W thought
the swift life led In the other direction. ,
'' - '.' ' ' . ,' ' e r V. ; ..' 'v.'. j ,
. When T6m Johnson advocates free
beer and lunch along with free car
ride, he will be still mora popular wish
som popie. . , . ; 'I..-.'
' If th garden of Eden was located In .
Tasoo county Ml.. Adam and Ev were
probably eecretly glad when thay war
fired. out of It .
-. -
Senator Ballsy was whitewashed, but
It wa only about a two-thirds job, and
there are spots that appear to have ,.
en' otly eurfaoe. .. . ... '
e !.''? -. '
. The chief objection tb Balome aemad
to be the decapitated head, but It I
usually th theatre managers end not
the eutaldcre who object to deadheads. ;
- " . . .,e y; ; ,;
An Inveatlgator atlmate that nln
per cent ot klase ere laden with dla-
aa germs. O, if that 1 all very
body will take chance on getting only
the $1 per oent ort. .- r- -,v.; y ' ,
-! - , .;': - 'V''
. Uacle Sam would be ss happy ae on
the -Fourth of July over adjournment
of eongres ' If It were not for those
billion dollars of bill to pay and theee
don't worry him very much.,
.a V e. ' ;
It la Strang that Steve Adam' at
torneys. In addition to proving an slibi,"
didn't also prove that he waa the vic
tim ef brainetorm, exaggartad ego, and
both systeraallBed end unsystematlsed
dalualone. r , . ----;--". t- ;-
-. ; -
It 'la reported that an employe of
the United Statea department of agrl
eulture Is trying to teach th people ,
to eat graaahoppers, end Is publishing
recipes of their preparation. This may
be one sort of foot that a trust can't
corner, for everybody can oatch hi;
own; grasshoppers If - he can..'
Oregon Sidelights
Goat shearing Is la progress. ;r'-r-'v--.iS
.,' - .-. '. ':, I". '
- Alea farmere are. digging their fall .
potato. ..v. . .a- . .- . .. '. .
t a " L: r : '
Some remnant wheat crepe around
Wton sold at 00 ejentsv----'--
.r-,-?..'. .-,;: :,
A-Banke man had $40 etolen fromj
him while drinking In a saloon In that
place.. -' . -' , -'-'-; i ' ''J.. ,;' "
, ; j-'--'.'v- ' e . -"' ; w
WheaO Irt the sacks wee not Injured ,
by th freese, reports th Myro , Ob- '
server; V . .,;;-;,; ;;;
Hop grower who hold for a higher
price generally hav te sell for less, re- '' -
marke the Monmouth Star. ; -
.. . ...... ,e'-,- ","it-.'-'i ,
' The Harrlsburg Development Club has ' .
placed an order for 1.000 eight page pans- y
phlets, which will be sent east. f- , - , ...
v. -'-.:::'"';'': ;-
A Sllverton man's It' 4-year eld steere , '
netted him over $00 eacbt another man'
paid $L10I for a carload of Tl beta.
" ' .."-;.''' '- .
"A Brownvffl man's 10 whit leghorn ,
hen have produced S.0M gg In th last
four month, an average of 0T egg .for ,
each hn." - - .. -
.- - "'. ;!.v -''
Why : ahouldn't 1 Brewnevllle prosper ,
with a woolen milt a cannery, a nureery, '
creamery, flouring milt saah and door
factory, tannery, glove factory, ; etc. t.
asks -the Tlmee.. ; . ...V'V '.'
v . 1. , . . , t . j,
A Brownsville woman has just re
ceived a latter containing $10.00, from 1
an unknown party, and te be the amount " - v
of an old atore bill due her husband
long ago deceased. ''; '- -'"". ...5
.. . ' a. ..;y 1 ,..
The rush ' tor timber still continues, , ' '
says the MyrUe Creek Mall. Most every
piece of vacant land 'In thl section haa
been taken. . Everything that looks like
timber la being timber-claimed, -j
- -" Vv''
The affairs at the Umatilla ageney .
need a thorough Investigation, says the
East Oregonlaa. Never Before has thai
been eo much dlssatlafactlon since the .
Umatilla reaervatlon waa' created. . ' .
r '.. '1 ' .
Jefferson people who had the Bay City
fever1 were aured by going ever there.
A yet th town ha but about 10 Inhab
itants, and lots are priced at from 1100
tottooo.; . .;..".'. .,',: -
Wk City eorrespondenee of Toledo
Leader: Th question now Is. what win
th Boiithern Paclflo de with Taqulna
BayT Why. they will deepen and widen
the channel until Noah's ark would seem
but an Indian's canoe upon It glasay
surface.' ' ' '-': .
. ., ; . -'., . -"';
There Is a rumor of a lumbering eon
eern going to build a railroad from Sher
idan to Wlllamlna, 1 The Southern Pa
cific should do that and ge On to Tilla
mook bay. That I the most direct route
from Salem to the sea, and the beet
says the Statesman: ' ' -
.-.;'. , . e.:: e , -.' : t t ,'.
"Squire" Power, an old Weston Dem
ooratle "warhor," sayei "When a boy
I wa taught that George Waahlnrtnn
wa th greatest man that ever llvedln"
th United State. I'v changed my
Idea now.- I think that Oeorg Cham
berlaln has that distinction." - ,'
.' .,'. i- ;
There has not been a month sine last
April that one could not find freah rip
trawbarrle In this - vicinity, says th
Myrtle Creek Malt - Some were picked
last week. Spring wild flowers are all
In bloom, and children pick armaful of
them. Earlier varieties ef fruit trees'
axe la bloom.
! - ,
4 ,