The Oregon daily journal., December 12, 1906, Image 8

Editorial
if
of
ournal
Page
The
THE JOURNAL
C. . JACEBQg mbmfcf
. . BnnAiTY
1M. ttrui 4 JUahUI atresia. .i'erUsea.
OuoSi
tares th Metorfle it rertLsA. OwsfflJ.
lfw trjt.mlwloa IfcrousS tea Us escuss-
bin SMttar. -
; . TKLEKIOMlCa
IMttnilal'annaa.
Bmloau Cffte. .......
........... .eteia
KOREIO ADVKBT1RINO RBPBSMTATlTi
VreUad-BeaJsmla Special Adwtlilnf , Aej.
. 1M tim Mret. York; Tribeoe
4s, Chtcef,
tulMFriptlllB Tw hr stall te sss
U lb I'altes StsUa. Casaas er Mules.
nm.T
' Ce mi.'... ts no I On swats....... ! -
SUNDAY.
Oh rr... ...... 12 oo om BMStk
DAILY AND SUNDAY.
Om year.... 17.00 0m siesta I
We have committed - tht
. Golden Rule to memory; now
. let ut commit it to life- Ed
win Msrkham.
1 ----
WHY THE POSTAL DEFICIT?
A
.DEFICIT of more than ten
million dollars, according to
Mr. Cortelyou, is the result
of operating the postoffice depart
ment the past year. We are the only
nation on the globe whose mails oc
casion a deficit. . It is sheer nonsense
as is well established by the offer of
a responsible Chicago man to oper
ate the department to reduce all pos
tal rates one-half, to climinate.the de-
ficit and pay"thegovemmeflVH
profits above 7 per cent on the neces
sary investment.- ,
Though there are other contribu
tory influences, the main source of the
leakage is the extravagant sums paid
railroads for .transportation of the
mails. This item in 1903 cost the
' government more than $37,000,000.
jOi -this-grcat sum, it has hern provcnl
on the floor of congress that but 52
per cent went for actually carriage of
mail matter, a proposition illustrative
of our wasteful methods. For carry.
' ing Jier mails,. England pays but 2.4
cents per pound; we pay 5.6 cents
per pound. Though the aggregate of
tons of mails delivered is a thousand
fold or more increased, there has been
no reduction in the rate for 28 years. In
that time, passenger, rates have been
reduced 21 pelrTcehTTand freight rates
. 40 per cent, but mail rates have not
shrunk the ' thousandth part of a
perifi;
.What makes the statement forceful
is that postal rates are twice as high
as passenger rates and 44 times as
great as freight rates per pound.
Though the mails and, express are
carried on the same trains. ' require
the same care and involve the same
, responsibility, we pay no less than
ten times, as much as the express
companies pay for the same service.
More than this, all - the furnishings
and equipment of the car, amounting
to 48 per cent of the total weight
... of the mails, are charged up and paid
" for by weight just as we pay for let
ters by weight In other words, 51.60
per cent only of the money we pay
for carrying the mails is paid for car
' rying the mails. We do even worse
than this.- After paying forjhe weight
of Tetters, paying for the weight of
the mailbags and paying for all the
weight of the equipment inside the
car at the same rate we pay for mails,
' we turn around and pay for the car in
rent for one year more than it cost
- to build the car.
, If explanation is sought, the life
record and moral standard of one
man is illuminative of this deficit.
Senator Depew of Yrenzied insurance
. fame, has always been a foremost de-
fender of this railroad graft on our
mails. Perhaps it is but human, for
he stepped from a railroad office into
.' the senate. In 1903, effort was made
. in congress to cut the graft by a re
duction of five per cent in the rates,
but Mr. Depew fought the measure,
and with the aid of his kind of sena-
tors slaughtered it. And thus it is: fren-
lied insurance, Depews and his like in
-the" enstP,-l-frosTal 'deric'it'-'aH "o'f
a kind, all typical and characteristic,
one of the other.
, Put they are passing.
;; GOOD TIMES AND DISCONTENT
THE PHILADELPHIA Inquir
er thinks that Socialism
thrives on hard times and is
checked by prosperity, but this con
clusion seems not borne out by pres
ent facts, for most people will agree
that Socialism has gained more
ground during the past 'few prosper
ous years than it did during the
period of depression. Some, in ex
planation of this discontent, argue
that it arises from comfortable con
ditions, ' tHien , people) have more
chance for thought and reflection, and
when they perceive, a' few piling up
wealth very rapidly, rather than from
bard times, when most people" "have
all XeikftWiQ 'Iff rfiVTe nds meet: n
At any rate, it generally agreed
that times have been good for. nearly
a decade, and that there is a great
Irat of discontent.. ' - The burden of
two addresses delivered , recently at
Trinity churchand Cooper Union, by
Dr. Schurman, president of Cornell
university ln New York, was the,
need of prompt and intelligent reform
inlh'1ndustriar world "In-order to
prevent the growth of discontent and
revolutionary movements! fSome
how," he declared, "the organizers
and financiers and managers of 6u
modern establishments of production
and transportation must devise
method whereby the men whose la
bor builds them up shall become
shareholders in the enterprises. The
present discontent and rankling sense
of injustice must be got rid of if our
economic and industrial system is to
survive." r '
: Observe, Dr. Schurman suggests
that it is the heads of big enterprises,
men of great wealth and huge inter
ests, who must take hold of this prob
lem and devise means of allaying this
discontent." This, the inference ;is,
they should do not as reformers, not
as an observance of ethics or a man
ifestation 'of public spirit, but as
matter of self-protection. For if Dis
content becomes acute and militant
with an organized majority, what
will happen? Who "can tell what
may not happen?. .
The late Marcus A. Hanna, an in
carnation of business interests in pol
itics, perceived "clearly the -trend of
the time and the. most practical means
to avert disaster to his class. Presi
dent Roosevelt in his alleged radical
ism is in the highest sense a friend of
tha big business interests, but. many
of them are too dull to perceive it. Is
it possible that they are desirious of
another period of hard times, believ
ing, on the theory above stated, that
then there will be less danger from
discontent? ,
PAY OF POSTAL CLERKS.
ni HE-POSTOFFICE-cUrk-ia-noi
I -getting a square leaL After
he has prepared himself for a
civil service examination,' and has se
cured .his appointment, he usually
commences work as a substitute with
prospect of only occasional em
ployment. And when he gets a reg
ular position, he begins at a salary of
$600 a year. Advances in salary are
made after awhile, but a clerk may
work several years at $600 a year, and
everybody knows that . if he has a
family he can do no more than barely
exist on that pay. Increases of sal
ary are not Tegular and : cciUin,
though most'' clerks work up after
several years to $900, and a few to
$1,000 and $1,100. Even these larger
amounts are rather meager compen
sation for men - of experience and
skill in their work.
The present period of high prices
and greatly increased expense for the
necessaries of life finds the postal
clerk no better, rather worse off,
than he was 20 years ago.. The result
of this policy is to drive from the
employ of the government many of
the most.efficient men in the postal
service. They cannot afford to work
for Uncle Sam 'when they can earn
more elsewhere. ' The clerks are
themselves prohibited by arbitrary
executive order from petitioning for
morepy,Jut .postmasters are tak
ing the matter up and will try to do
for the clerks what the latter cannot
do for themselves. Railway mail
clerks and rural carriers are also en
titled to more pay. Uncle Sara ought
to pay his faithful and hard "workers
liberal salaries. .
BLIND MR. BAER.
RESIDENT CEO. F. BAER
of the Reading railroad ap
pears to be a man of gross
and incurable wrongheadedness. He
s the victim of hypermetropia, wTilch
can distinguish a mote in the eye of
a man across the street, unconscious
of the big beam in his own eye.
Speaking of the coal mines, he says:
The men who do not by their own
work contribute anything to the gen
eral stores want to control their distri
bution. They create nothing. They only
scold, i The I m measure his resources of
the earth so long hidden hive not been
discovered or utilised for the benefit of
mankind by any thought or act of
theirs. They are drones in the busy
hive. They have had no part or lot In
the mighty army of gifted and capable'
men who are obeying . the primitive
mandate to subdue the eartti end have
dominion over It.
Just who he' means by this attack
is not clear, but probably he means
about all the "common people." Mr.
Baer, it will be remembered, has as
serted a "divine right of him and a
few of his fellows to the coal supply;
but there is no record that they dis
covered the mines, or developed them
exceptfor their own profit. It
scarcely lies in Mr. Baer's mouth to
criticise the people for scolding, when
for man years he and other coal
railroad men have accepted bribes
from the Standard Oil 1 company.
These coal railroads have gone into
politics, of courie,andnaethus
beeri able to destroy competitiowrand
to-charge the people "what Utey please
for coal. It this using the great
stores of coal "for the benefit ol
mankind?" ...
Mr Baer is n of t class of men
who, having beta able to control the
A Little Out
-THINCS-PRINTED-TO READ-WHILE - YOU WAIT. -
The ' Pesaimiat"- '
From the Chicago' News.
that wont bear looklng" Into.
- Distance lends enchantment to the view
ef -a -friend .who Is always In need.
Some men are. as anxious to get Into
the limelight as others are to dodge it.
Muny a no-called charitable man draws
the line when It comes to buying his
wife new clothes.
A woman seldom listens to a man's ex
planation. Vet it maka her angry If be
refuses to orfer one.
An Ohio man recently made a strenu
ous effort to drown his sorrow by push
ing his mother-in-law Into the river.
If a man could marry a rich wife as
often as ha" can go to the race track, he
might win something some day
If a girl can pass the 30th anniversary
of her birth without being detected, she
begins to look upon the family record as
ancient history, ( -
Spider Web Factory,
Ten years ago a French misslonsry
started the systematic rearing of two
kinds of spiders for their web, and a
spider-web factory is now. In successful
operation at Chalali-Meudon, near Paris,
where ropes are made of spider web In
tended for balloons for the French mili
tary aeronautic section. The spiders are
arranged in groups 6f U above a 'reel,
upon which the threads are wound. It
Is by - no means easy ' work for the
spiders, for they are not released until
they have furnished, from 3D yards to 40
yards of threads each. The . web Is
washed, and thus freed of the outer
reddish and sticky cover. Eight of the
washed threads are then taken together, '
and of this strong yarn cords are woven.
which! are stronger and much lighter
than cords of silk of the same thick
ness. "
December 12 in History. -1721
Alexander Selkirk, the original
of "Roblneon Crusoe," died. Born 178.
ISO Sir Mark J. Brunei, builder of
the Thames tunnel, died. Born April
15, 17SS.
1860 Richard .Ye tee, ex-governor of
Illinois, bora. (
'1889 Robert Browning", "English poet.
died. Born May 7, 1212.
1894 Sir John Thompson, Canadian
Dremler. died.
1897 Mother of President MCKlnley
died at Canton. Ohio.
1900 Lord Roberta sailed from Cape
Town for England, after close of Boerf
war..
Ancient Coffins. -
The coffins of the ancient Egyptians
were made of marble and stone. The
Romans used similar receptacles for
their dead, and Alexander the Great Is
said to have been burled In a coffin of
solid gold. In parts of England glass
coffins have been found.
The Athenian heroes were burled In
coffins -mads of -cedar, owing to its ro
matlo and Incorruptible qualities, while
the flrst record of wooden coffins. In Eng
land dates back to the days of King
Arthur. This monarch, was auoDQaedto
have been buried In the hollowed trunk
of a gigantic oak tree. Patent eofflna
were Invented In 17t(, and metallic air
tight coffins-were advertised at Blrmlng
bam In 11(1.
coal fields by the underpaid labor of
workingmcn and the corruption of of
ficials, thTnlTlthey now hive a divine
dominion--ot-this great necessity,
coal. And he cannot understand why
the people complain.' '
While opinions may differ as to
the propriety of the President de
manding reform in Congo, it must be
admitted that the present government
of that state by Leopold is a horror
in the sight of the civilized world. It
would seem that the initiative in free
ing Congo from the clutches of Leo
pold would more properly come from
a European nation, but each one is
afraid of the other, so Roosevelt, who
is afraid of nothing, will take the lead.
It is confidently reported by the
government that the Pulajanes, who
are said to have seen the error of
their ways, will soon become good
Filipinos. In the last effort to pacify
them, four of their leaders were
killed, and General Leonard Wood
thinks the remaining chief will prove
susceptible 46 the government's meth
od of pacification.
At the moment when the brilliant
ight of success- shone gloriously on
his ambition realized, a cruel fate
snatched Julius Persky from the
realm where he reigned tn solitary
and awful grandeur. Julius smoked
half a million cigarettes, and thOgll
oner is unable to decide whether
death was due to suicide' or old age.
Mrs. - Storer emphatically denies
that she ever said that she and her
husband had "discovered and made
Roosevelt.". The lady is certainly en
titled to a wide publication of that
denial.
To use an inelegant expression, the
president's letter to the Storers illus
trate his habit of slopping over.
For a while it was "My dear Bellamy"
and My dear Maria" but, alas, how
different now,.
Now Mr. Harriman is said to be
acquiring the M. K. & T. railroad.
It's not much of a trick for to pick
up a big railroad any week.
Peoplewho-- -cam vto.Or gnn 50
years ago or so would not have be
lieved that there would be a fuel
scarcity by this time. 1
That proposed irrigation law it an
other ery; important matter.
of tkc Common
TH, Wat Not Afraid.
Nervousness Is a thing with which the
Hrinoe er Wales Is but mtle afi
once at a scientific carnival, while Dr
riayfalr was showing the prince and
his party around they came to a big vat
of chemicals, which were hissing and
rising away In a very forbidding
fashion. Dr. Playfair asked the prince
to aip nie nngers in the liquid. There
was a titter and aoma dismay among
tnose wno -nesrd. but the Drtncs. hav
Ing looked the doctor straight In the face,
put his hand Into, the hissing caldron.
and found tha liquid aa cold aa loe. The
explanation Was that some chemicals
when they boll give out cold Instead of
heat.
.". Barbers Ages Ago,
The flrst barbers of whom there is any
record plied their 'trade In Greece tn
the Hfth century B. C. , In Roma the
Meet -barbers operated, in the third cn-
tury B. C. In olden times In England
the barber and the physician were Identi
cal. Thus a king's barber was also his
chief medical adviser,
In the time of Henry VIII of England
laws were made concerning barbers, of
which the following Is an extract: "No
person occupying a shaving or barbery
In London shall use any surgory, letting
of blood or other matter, except the
drawing of teeth."
. Sunshine Beyond.
Martha Shepard Llpplncott.
Though clouds of sorrow often fall
Within this world of ours."
There still Is sunshine for us all.
with passing of life s showers. ,
The flower, beaten by life's stms.
win often raise Its bead.
And, bloom again In loveliness. i
whsn new sunshine is shsd.
Though storms may oft oppress the soul.
And fill It with despair.
Do not despond and cease to, hope,
For life win grow more fair.
Early Beds. .
.The. , beds . oflha . ancients--were
piles of .skins. The first beds resem
bling those used In modern times were
made of rushes and later of strswt
haa been attributed to the Romans, and
Elagabalua (Heliogabalus) Is said to
have used an air cushion for ' pillow
In 21s. Air beds were frequently used
during the sixteenth century. - Feather
beds were largely used during the reign
or Henry Vlll, of England.
Peter F. Collier's Birthday.
Peter ' Fenelor Collier, the magaslne
and book publisher, was born in Car
low, Ireland, December 11, -1849. He
studied for the priesthood, but Instead
of taking orders decided to emigrate to
Ameriea,- where Jie- entered the publish-
Ing business and by his new methods
won a phenomenal success and fortune.
Mr. Collier's chief recreations are riding
and hunting. Ha learned to ride to the
bounds in Ireland and haa long been
one of the best riders of tha famous
Meadowbrook Hunt club of Long Island,
which conferred upon him tha honor of
master of foxhounds. . .
A Dictionary of
"Misinformation
By Wex Jones, Lexicographer.
BRIDGE A structure designed to ob
struct the crossing of a river.
Boss What's kept you so latet . ..
Boy -Bridge.
CITT A place where people try to
live as much as possible like rabbits tn
a hutch, and feel sorry for the poor
folks condemned to live like human
beings In the eountry.
CONSTITUTION A
punching bag
for the executive.
COUNTRY A place full of bugs and
scenery: largely boosted by the poets
most of whom live in a steam-heated
fllL ' . ,
LITERATURE Anything that Isn't
read. ,.
NEO-LITERATURE Phrases that
sell the goods. .
Do you love this old ehapT
HE EATS FRESCO. ,"
OPERA An entertainment at which
one man sings louder than the rest talk.
- I will kill yeht -
He will kill meh!. .. ,
He will kill him! .
I am about .;
I am about ,
" I am about ' - -
about;
I am about
To stab yeb!! .
He Is about ' '
He Is about '
He Is about
To stab meh!
him! .''"
To stab him! !
"With this dag--"-
ger! ' .
" ' dag- ' .
; ger!
tvitrTnis, wrnriTiTs" ':
dsg-gerlf - ;
With that, with thst
. dag-gar!!
Die. villain, die! , .
-Die, die, die. :
die, die!! - - -
t die, I die.
Die, die, die! --
I die!
I'm deed!!
He dlee! He's d-sd!!
Assassination scene from
"Carmen-
clta." I
BHORT BTORX A number of words
unreadably set around Jagged Illustra
tions. "I love you," he whispered softly. ,
PKe did not speak.
"Hark, tha Christmas chimes!"
She did not say a word. '
"Darling!", he breathed softly In her
eat. ... .
She did not move. .
"My sweet love; say you love me." he
whispered In ber sbell-llke esr. ,
fine made no response.
""If you do -not answer I shall kill my
self." he said In a low, determined voice.
Bhe made no sign of having heard.
- Hastily rushing Into the kitchen, he
awaitoweA mi no 4e "b 4ove- oe
not," he erled, and, released at Isst from
(he woes of .this world, fell with a erash
to tne rioor. ...
Btlll the girl did not move.
, Bhe was stone deaf. Short Talea.
Wltk ,i money received from eoyots
scalps a Biivsr lake mas bought a horse
and saddls for KU0.
On the Subject oi
Wnd-Catting
1nthese"days even 'respectable news
papers flaunt full-age advertisements
of mining stocks. " To "glvsan sir of
nnsnclsl Importance to this peddling of
chances. It Is the growing practice to
mpiiULhsejdl!ini..9f securltlee corpov
rations, trust companies and Danns
niany of them In capitate as large as
their reel capital Is Small. Mushroom
mining camps nowadays boast financial
Institutions with Imposing names, and
It la esay-to understsnd that the farm
ers In Iowa, the clerks at New rora.
and tha cooks In Mains do not appreci
ate the fact that such high-sounding
fiduciary organisations may be broker
age concerns and promotion syndicates
of an ephemeral kind. - There is a look
of comlo opera about many of the pros
pectuses advsrtlsd; soma qf this msy
develop Into sordid tragedy, for it la ob
vious that untried prospects are being
floated as mines on the strength of the
wonderful riches of ths new gold nelds
In .Nevada. Our readers do not Indulge
In this form of gambling, they prefer
the saner kind, where the deal la from
the top . of he park so wa need not
admonish them. But for the sake of
decent mining,- ws hope they will keep
as msny of their friends aa posslblo
from throwing away thslr money. The
opportunities for sane epeculstlon In
mining are numerous enough without
Indulging in a blind gamble..
Only recently the . stock of the Bull
frog Rush Mining company wss offered
on the basis that there was H, 000, 000
worth of ore blocked out. Shortly there
after three of the - gentlemen on the
directorate reaigned and published sn
advertisement, stating their reason for
so dolng which was, that although the
properly la "a spleridld prospect" It has
beea ascertained thai "the beat average
assays obtained in the lower workings
are from (0 cents to tl per ton."
Underneath this advertisement appeared
another from the trust company that
had sold the stock, offering to take
back the shares and pay for them?
Not et sll, only permitting shareholders
who had been misled by suppositious
ore reserves to select from any of the
-company's "new promotions." We no
tice that the governor of Nevada, Just
reelected, la a director of this and other
companies. It Is a mistake for gov
ernors to figure on the prospectuses of
stock compsnies; It leads to complica
tions. They pledge the credit, of .the
state to speculative enterprises concern-
. ...., .u,., i juu, ,,, en . , m uuivir.
Governors are not necessarily good
I Judges of mines.
First Law Case of
Patrick Henry
By Rev. Thomas B. Gregory.
It was the year 17S. and Patrick
Henry had Just passed his examination
snd been admitted to the bar.- He hod
not aa yet had a case. He wss the
genius of poverty and the living incar
nation of Indolence, and his fellow
townsmen had anything but roey pre
dictions concerning te future of the
new-fledged lawyer.
But the unexpected always happens.
and the unpromising limb of the law
was destined to give his brother VI r-
gintsns the surprisao,tberJlyes.
In this same yesr, 176J, some si:
Ixtyl
ministers of, the Episcopal church of
tne.uia Dominion endeavored to re
cover their loas from the reduction thst
had been made seven yeara. before in
tha price of tobacco. At that time, ow
ing to the fact that so many were In
the war or on guard at home, tobacco
Went tothe vIueo J shillings a pound
and the assembly voted that for a spec-.
lned period jliJHs might be paid at the
rate of 2 shillings a pound. This gave
general relief, and the clergy were the.
only ones to object.
And now the ministers were. trying
to get out of having to help bear . the
common burden. The assembly in
formed them that nothing could, be done
for them and that they must share the
afflictions of- their flocks. The minis
ters then appealed to the king, saying
thst they were not Virginians, but
clergy of the diocese of London.
The king took their part, annulled
the decision of the Virginia assembly
and ordered that the ministers' salaries
be psld In full:' The assembly paid no
attention to the king's order snd a Rev.
Mr. Maury brought suit for his claim
In Old Hanover.
The people of Hanover at once re
solved to fight the Rev. Mr. Msury to
the last (Itch and looked about them
for an able lawyer to take care of their
side of ths case. But able lawyers st
that time were anything but plentiful.
In the Old Dominion, and the few to
be found were favorable to the king
rather than to the people. What were
they to do? At last some one said,
"Try Patrick Henry." The suggestion
waa taken up at once and Henry was
employed. . "
When the day for the trtal came the
green young attorney was In his place.
He was trembling like a leaf. By and
by the time arrived for him to stand
up before the Jury and he nearly col
lapsed from fright t out tne scare wss
only, for s moment. Getting his feet!
well under him and bracing himself for
his tssk. Henry suddenly broke forth
Into eucb speech ss Virginia Juries hsd
never heard before.
Under the scorching mvectlve the
ministers,, one after another, picked up
their nsts, cuncnea ineir mm n-j
snaffled out of the room, while the
people felt that at last they had found
t h elr young countryman's true mess
ure'. " " r : r
In words that rang like ths notes of
a bugla the young orator declared that
the king who would support such claims
as thst which ths ministers were con
tending for waa a tyrant whom nobody
was bound to obey, and when the Rev.
Mr. Maury cried out "Treason!" Henry
repeated his words and then thundered
forth this pioneer defiance of the revo
lution: "The burgesses of Virginia are
the only authority which can give force
to the laws for the government' of this
colony."
The Rev. Mr. Maury got a verdict
for one penny's damage, and Patrick
Hsnry strode forth from,, ths court
room the most famous man In Vir
ginia!
Why tht Cake Waa Failure.
Mrs. Tom L. Johnson, discussing ths
other day the school of household
science that she Is helping- to found In
Cleveland, said:
No Cleveland girl after a course in
our school, would ever make ths mis
take thst a young bride made last
Thanksgiving.
"This young bride, after serving to
her husbsnd a Thanksgiving dinner that
w so so, esM.-as she es r et anloe
pie waa brought on:
' 'I intended, dear, . to . nav . . some
sponge cake, -too, but It haa bean a total
failure.'
"How was thatr the husband asked
In a disappointed tone, for. he was fond
of sponge cake.
"The druggist," she explained, "sent
me ths wrong kind of sponges.' "
BIRDSEYE VIEWS
cf . TIMELY TOPICS
. . SMALL CHANOE.
Mrs. .Btorer' will hayethessljfgrd
- Teddy praotlces the strenuous life, all
right.'.;. .'; - -
, e
It is becoming so that murder Is a con
clusive proof of Insanity,
' '.' e '-- "' ' 1
Now you're glad you built that good
road or aorry you didn't.,
' e ' a :
Depew says Roosevelt must'-mn again.
Now what doea Piatt aay?
It is easy to believe that Castro Is
sick; he haa been quiet so long. . . ,
.. '' - e - . .
A doctor ssys soup haa no nourishment.
Why doesn't he change his boardings
house? . v '..
".'-.'-.". .1 ' . '
Nor Is It anybody's business' what
Senator Bailey did with the money be
borrowed. 9
s ... e a
We have never heard It explained why
the magasines have their Chrlstmss a
month or two too esrly. . .
-
"Home la where the heart le," de
clares a Writer. . Also where the gro
cery, fuel and meat bills sre.
Now that Colorado Is to have a
preacher-professor for governor, we hope
to see sonv little messure ct reform
in that wicked etste.
- i- ...... ..
A Flttsburg girl has gone to Africa
to study the ape language. Why didn't
she listen to some of the newly rich
families of that city? .
a,
It Is reported that Burton Is writing
book, and when hs gets out will lec
ture. If so, the- country, will somewhat
regret his conviction. ,
The Coos Bay Harbor says Mrs. Dunl-
way has brains enough to occupy a seat
In the senate. But brains are not al
ways the main qualification-.
...
"When I get to Wsshlngton." ssys
Senator-elect ' Jeff Davis of Arkansas,
"lherew!Jlbe something- doing Injtown.'
jno uoubt, perhaps In
e e
General Greeley has written an article
to show that there is nothing new In
Mrs. Parsona'tiial marriage theory. Any
divorce court Judge could teatlfy to the
same thing. ..
e i
The Congo people think that old King
Leopold Is the worst ruler Imaginable,
but If they are to have Ryan on their
backs, too. tha sooner they go off and
die the -better. ,
"TPnson, Sweet Prison
By Rev. Thomas B. Gregory.
One of thsstrangewfrsges In our
American history Is the one which deals
with the "martyrdom" or Jamea swan
of Dorcheater, Massachusetts.
Born in Scotland In 1TS4. Swan, wben
a mere lad, came to America. Begin
ning as a clerk In a Boston stere Swan
worked his way up until he became one
of ths leading merchants ot the coun
try. 7-r-
But, not satisfied with legitimate
business. Swan entered Into speculation,
and, as often happens, he speculated to
hla ruin.
Head over heels In debt. Swan in
17S7 went to Paris. The friendship of
Lafayette brought him government con
tracts and other fat Joba. and be soon
found himself wealthy again. '
In 176. Swan, hsvlng squared him
self with the world, returned with his
wife to the United States, settling In
Dorcheater. At Dorchester he built for
himself a palatial home, which he fitted
with rich snd rare furniture from the
mansions of Parisian nobility who hsd
been driven out during the "Reign of
Terror." -
In lint Swan and his wife made a
trip to Paris, where ha was met by -a
debt claim ef t.000,o franca. He de
nied he claim and though amply able
to pay ' It - refused to do . on, on the
ground thst It was a plot.
He was thrown into St Pelagie, the
Some Essays
' : By William r. Kirk.,, "
' - DOCTORS. '
doctors Is the men thst keeps ue
from getting sick when we are well
sncT keeps us from glttlng well when
we are sick, doctors Is of 2 (two)
kinds. Regulsr doctors at horse doc
tors. ".' ; .
' the first doctor Was Adam s eon. Cain.
He was talking to his brother Abel
Abel sed Cain waa a Joak. Vary well,
sed Cain, I will give you your medlsin.
ft Tie hit Abel witn a oak club Abel
breethed no tnoar.
. Uhlnk horse doctors sre better than
regular doctors, beekaus Isst week my
Auit May had the feever- our horse
had the collck. & Pa got a regular doe
tor for Aunt May ft a horse doctor for
the horse, ft Aunt May died ft the h&r
got well. ,
1 had a doctor when I had the meesles.
he calm, ft sed Well, my little man.
stick out yours toung. ft when I stuck
out my toung he r,ed What seems to be
the matter with you? ft I sed t have the
meesles. so the doctor turned around to
Pa ft sed Der me. be has the meesles',
I will give him some meesle medlsin, 25
dollars, pi esse, he left me some medl
sin ft I dldnt talk It so t got well. , .
there sre sum things s doctor esnt
cure, nslmly Leporsy. Consumshun,
hroaken harta ft other diseases.
My Ma hsd a doctor for a broaksn
hart first week Pa calm hoam without
his weeks munny A Ma sed My hart Is
brsklng. send for h doctor, ft when the
doctor calm Ma told him about Pas
munny beeing gone he sed Deer me, you
doent want to see the doctor, you want
to see the cashier.
I cant think of any moar about doo-
tore. r -
e e e .
EDITORS. ' 1
editors'"! the men that reeds every
thing In the pspera. magneeens ste. ft
tells the printers whst to print.
editors Is different from doctors, bee
kaus doctors lern there trade In akool
'ft -4he-4ltra -ter- he-bottom- ft
work up Inch by Inch aa the long yeers
go by. . - . ,
. editors Is mostly very nice men but
they never have, much time to tslk ex
cept to the oaner of the paper If a re
porter rums In ft shows s editor a story,
the editor Jest arunla ft ssys Hello,
(londbv. If s poet sums In with a poem,
the editor Jest says Ooodby.
HI
OREGON. SIDELIGHTS."
The Callpoola Lumber company has
donated tMO toward a good road below
Crawfordsvllle. .
Outside people . are , looking; over
Brownsville with a view . to putting up
a big sawmill there.
1 - '
" A wasco county man secured a 1 teens
to marry the woman from whom he was
divorced IS years sgo, , .
''.' j , i e
Crook county people will ask ths leg
islature for sn spproprlation for wall
drilling on the plains. -...........
., . a ,., . "
Art- consequence of damage done by .
snowballing, four Mitchell ' boys were
fined 110 each and one $35. . ,
v '
Clem brothers of Lebanon raised 3.S0S
bushels of potatoes on eight acrea. which
teey have already sold for cents.
I
An Athena merchant being short of
fuel, burned a lot of damaged prunes,
and tbey made a good, hot, crackling
fire.
. If you don't Juat like everything you,
see In your home paper, go around the
streets and bowl, advises -the Aurora
Borealls. -,
, . . .,...' ' . . 1
"A l!-year-old Union county boy fell
Into a well 26 feet deep, and his smaller
brother slid down the rope snd held his
head above water until help arrived.
i a e '
Recently, In tearing down an old store .
building tn Brownsville, there waa dis
covered In the garret a number of papers
(0 yeara old bearing upon the early his
tory of the city.
, . k, .Ik..
Buttevllle correspondence of Aurora
Borealls: Our blacksmith still keeps
busy as the young ladles In this vicinity
have learned that he hes a phone and
they keep it ringing.
. ' e
A ' Hermlston Irrigation company is
selling a large number of f lye-acre (
tracU..and.-4here--aajns to b a great -demand
for this sort of land.. which can -later
be used for town lota. f '
e e ' . '
The shortage In railroad cars has been
the police courCTdemo'nstrated to the peopleofFoss.il by",
the pssturlng of ovsr too hsad of horses
the past few days. The buyer Is ' al
ready out about 12,000 for extra hay and
pasture needed on account of the delsy.
- . I :
The editor Is on the sick Hat this
week. While going to church last 8un-
day evening he slipped on the Icy side
walk falling on his neck and shoulders,
badly bruising his entire back and hips,
says the Wallowa News. ' That'a what
an editor gets by going to church. - '
debtors' prison, -and there he remained
front S0S te 1810. 4 period of 22 years. -"With
funda sent by his wife," says,
the euthOT of "Old New England Roof '
trees," "Swan klred apartmenta In the
Rue da la Cliff, opposite St. Pelagie.
which' he caused to be "fitted up at great .
expense. Here were dining and draw---Ing
rooms, coaches and arables, and here :
servants, putting at the dtaposnl of th
former his carriages.: In which ttiry"
drovs to the promenade, the ball, the
theatre everywhere In hla name. At
this Parisian home-he gave great din
ners to his constant but bewildered
friends. He seemed happy In thus brav
ing his creditors and Judges, sllowsd
his beard to grow, dressed a la mode,
and waa cheerful to the last "day of -his
confinement." His wife died" in - IMS
and Ave yeara later the revolution it
July threw open his prison door In the
very lest hour of his twsnty-second year
In captivity. His one desire upon being
relessed wss to ambrsc bis friend .
Lafayette, snd this he did on the steps
of the Hotel de Vllle. Then he returned,
July 21. te reinstate himself In prison
for SU Pelsgle had after. 21 yesrs come
to stand to him for home. He wss
seised almost Immediately upon his sec
ond confinement with a hemorrhage, and
died suddenly in the Rue d'Echlquler.
aged 7." k
by Bobbie
' My Pa wrote a poem ones ft went to
show It to a editor ft took me with htm.
the editor was amosktng a pipe ft dtdent
look up ft Pa sed Pardon me I have
wrote a poem, ft the editor aed If yo
have wrote a poem I cant pardon you,
but my Pa wssent scared of him ft aed
I will reed It ft he sed:
t stood at Eve when the sun went dows
neer a gralv where a woman Ilea
wlch lured mens soals to ths depth of sis.
O Bridget, ssve them plea! .
the editor looked at Pa a minuet A
sed "21."
then when Pa dldent go he called a
office boy A sed Show this gentleman :
the elevator.
wHenTgruw'np t wud like to be si
editor so I can smoak a pips ft say "22."
ess.
ENGLAND. '
. england Is a grata country that Is
bounded by the oshun but england owns
lots of reel estate so It Is sed the sun
never sets on engllsh tsrltory or on ths
engllsh flsg.
the engllsh people sre a grata race,
the wlmmen are butlful ft graceful ft
the men are vary pollght thay alwaya
say My Word Old Chap ft thay kno Jest .
what to ware when thay talk there
wives out. nltes. My Pa knos what to
ware too but he owa the tailor So muoh
that he dosent always ware It.
the principal city of england la called
London. It Is a grata city ft the prin
ciple producka are moaatly lords that
cum over hear ft marry American gurls.
ths king of england la called Ed the
Tth. he. Is a Just ft grate ruler that
used to be Prince of Walls, ha waa a -lolly
dog ft had 17 suits of close ft used
to bet on ths horse but aow he Is a
King ft sets on hla thrown alt day ft
his psnts gits baggy from setting down
so he hss to havs 121 bult of close now
. the grnteet'man In england was Mr. -Shakespeer.
he waa a writer who wrote
moastly plays Ilka Romeo ft Juliet Ro
meo was making luv to Juliet ft he used
to stand under her poarch ft aay She Is
My. Lady. She Is My Luv, but sh sed
You will have te ask Pa, Also how
much life Inshuratme- havs you got? ft
Romeo sed I dosnt carry any Inahuf-:
ance.'so she sed Fairwell to The ft he 1
killed hlaself. "; -
I kno about sum ether eountrles wloU ,
I will tell you islter. -.
i
v: