The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972, October 12, 1906, Image 8

The Oregon daily journal., October 12, 1906, Image 8

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Newspaper Page TextTHE JOURNAL Alt IMDSrUMNT nawarara. nwj SSaoay BOOitmi. t Th Jorn hu. rSSt mat VuulUU treta. Prllod. MM at Ik putofrw t Portlssd. Ohm tr imMn toraaxk te J TiUfBOKtl. .Mata soe OWm. OUiCN ADVgBTISINO HKrBKSSMTATtVB. Wnmmt nij.ls Special Idwrtuiy T I'-O hu ttt. New Xark; Tnasms MM llhMTlnfWn Trn I,. nU to Hf tm lb lutud Stat.. Cun.d. or Mexico. MU.I. SUNDAY. t - Dm iwr 4140 Oh grata. DAILY AND SUNDAY. Do rl. ST.0S I Oa month..... I M .s .as Occasion may be the bugle Call summoning an army to battle, but the blast of a bugle can never make sol diers nor win victories. Garfield. THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION. WHEN young Senator Bev eridge and Senator Lodge make an appeal to Repub licans, saying the Democratic party Is a good party of opposition but nhoold not be trusted with govern ment itself, they are oblivious to logic la a way quite discreditable to sen ators. There can be no valuable op position to a good thing, so if the Re publican party is sll right all opposi tion to it is bad. If it is not ail right smd the Democratic party points out Its errors and the remedies, then the Democratic party is the one that should be trusted to correct these er- I rors and apply the remedies. ' The fact is the Republican party has been the party in power for nearly half a century. It is responsible for i present conditions, so far as any po I ' liticsl party is responsible, . It is ap- pealing to popular feeling today on the strength of President Roosevelt's t achievements. And they may say ' what they please, these achievements I have been along Democratic lines, I with Democratic aid and against the I real feeling and real creed of the Re ! publican party. j Every man knows in his heart that ! the Republican leaders had to be cwhipped into line with Democratic help and by the big stick of the presi i dent. Everyone knows that the Re j publican party leaders in the senate ' and in the organization would knife 1 Roosevelt to the heart 4 they dared. If the Democratic party is valuable fes an opposition, it is more valuable s, as a party to be entrusted with power , to kill the evils it opposes. That is logic. PROTECTION. EX-GOVERNOR DOUGLAS of Massachusetts, who is visiting in Portland though a manu facturer on a very large scale, is not a protectionist, and says that only the trusts receive the benefit of protec tion Shoes, he says, and he knows iwhat he is talking about, can be sold In Isge quantities abroad in compe tition with foreign manufacturers, and b far greater amount of them could be Bold abroad except for the duty on bides and sole leather a duty that Hoes the farmer and cattle-raiser on a small scale no good whatever, but Only benefits the beef trust. Amer ican manufacturers of shoes pay higher wages than are paid abroad, but they need no protection in order .to do so. The reasons for this have been often stated, and need no repe tition. That the duty on many ar ticles of American manufacture is imply a means of enabling the manu facturers to extort unreasonable prof Its from American consumers is dem onstrated in many instances. The case of steel is a luminous one. Amer ican steel is sold in many foreign countries at the American price less the duty, the manufacturers paying the freight abroad besides. The duty Of $8 per ton or more is simply a legaj. holdup of American consumers Ja order that the trust may make profits amounting to tens of millions a year. This is only one example of tnany that might be mentioned, all of which show that high duties have for Kfr sole object the enrichment of usts or combinstions of manufac refS, and monopolists of necessaries. The plea 'that the high duties protect the American laborer is wholly de lusive and meretricious Employers buy their labor as cheaply as they can and secure good efficient labor. Those who divide profits with their em ployes are very rare. The high duty enables them to amass millions, to take trips to Europe and play high stakes at Monte Carlo, to divorce their wives and squsnder fortunes on sradora girls, to marry their dangh- to foreiga titles, to buy Amer rongreesnren. to corrupt elec- Uon and to consider the common consuming American people their oranges and oysters. MILD CLIMATE. TE Manufacturers' Record, published in Baltimore, speak ing of the advantage of a mild climate for building operations, says: "There is no day in the year ia which some crop cannot be grown in some one of the 14 southern states or in which stress of heat or cold may com- pel s suspension of manufacturing. In no part of the south are the win ters so severe as to lirhit for many days at a time aay kind of work upon buildings, and in most of it there need be, on account of weather, no inter ruption of work into which reenforced concrete enters. Almost the same could be said of the i'acjtic coast states, wnose winter climate is scarcely more severe than that of the central south. Rains, if somewhst continuous at times, are scarcely ever severe, frost in the lower altitudes makes but brief visits, and many kinds of work go on with but little interference or interruption. The Record has building and manu facturing operations only in view, but to the agriculturalist, the dairyman and the stockman the mild winters of a great portion of the Pacific coast are of even greater value than to me chanics. As compared with northern states east of the big divide stock needs but little feeding end along the coast almost none; farm operations can often be carried on extensively in one or more of the winter months, and outdoor labor, with rain-proof ap parel is not only possible .without great discomfort, but there is always plenty of work to be done to advant age, as is not the case in a frozen-up region. Then the fact that this re gion is free from bliaxards, cyclones tornadoes and very destructive floods is another big item in its favor. Take it year in and year out, one year with another, the Oregonian has no good reason to complain of the climate. If after living here a few years he goes back to Minnesota or New England or Kansas or even down south, he is likely to have the Oregon fever until he comes back or dies, hoping that heaven is as good a place as Oregon, Smile st the rain. We need lots of it. It is beginning now to rain next year's-gold. The increased number of open streetcars continues to be the peo ple g, best weather guide. The fore cast for the 'week is Closed cars, windows hermetically sealed, and with doors hard to open: Fair, with soft and balmy breezes. Open cars, with soggy curtains flapping: Rain, eager and nipping air; followed by pneu monia. If General Eunston is not needed to prevent the Cubans from looking cross-eyed at each other, Mr. Roose velt, might have him visit those dis tricts in the south which are busy elevating the negro with a long pull. and a strong pull, and a pull alto gether. Any nation possessed of a love of humanity and heavy artillery and that is fond of intervening can find a splendid field for its operations in Russia. According to Napoleon's war maxims, however, the heavy ar tillery is absolutely necessary. The straw vote has again been taken in the Empire state, and shows beyond the shadow of a doubt that Hughes or Hearst will be elected, ac cording to the political sentiments of the people who made the canvas. Seattle has not offered $200,000 for the deciding game of the world's base ball championship series, probably be cause she has used all her stage money in buying mythical ships for sn imaginary steamship line. It took nearly 40 years of Mr. Hughes' time and unremitting care to cultivate that luxuriant beard which has made him famous from one end of the country to the other ss " Whiskers'" The weather is so cold in New York that the heat engendered by the hot test campaign ever held in the state does not serve to mitigate the suffer ings of the poor. General Eunston on his way from Cuba may be regarded as testimony that the "big stick" is considered mightier thsn the sword. Though the harvest is over, the call for labor is still loud, continuous snd insistent. It will be a busy winter on the Pacific coast. v Pleasures of Rich. A society writer for Vanity Fair one of Lord Northcllff'a papers) main tains that Father Veughan's strictures on smsrt society are perfeetly merited, "A man told ms ths other day, who was staying with some of the set whom Vsughan attacked, that both man and women playd leapfrog in the hall In the evening after dinner. The hostess bore a greet name. Many nf the guests are well-known women In society. "I have heard and Been eo-called In oountry A Little Out THINGS PRINTED TO READ WHILE YOU WAIT, Good American Business. Practically every industry In ' the country (except where strikes prevail or are threatened), lad by iron and steel. la crowded to Ha utrauat limit with or ders, aeveral ot them having booked to their capacity for the first half of 10T Iceland has decided to buy American roods direct Instead of through Den mark. Arizona ranks third among the atat and territories producing copper ore. Its manufacturing- capital (census of lSOS) Is tl4,t6,000, an Increase Of 14.878.000 tp five years; sad Its yearly manufac turing output la t2S.083.000, an lncsease of (7,(44,000. Its female achool teachers are better paid than those of any othsr state or territory In the union: it has nearly (12,000,000 on deposit In Its ft nanclal institution; only SI woman and 18 children are Included In Its 4.7SS wage earners, or 48.( per cent lasa than In 1800; of Its 1S0.000 population 91.000 are white: It Is In good shape for sep arate statehood. In five years, 1900-05, the larger American factorlea Increased their In veated capital to (12.1(6.000. a gain of 41. S per cent; their yearly product to (14,(00,000, a gain of ((.7 per cent, and their yearly wage-earners' payrolls to (2.(11.000,000, a gain or 29.S per cent The number of wags-earners Increased 16.S per cent Good American buatneas Is now caus ing the output In our country of 1,000. 000,000 pounds of copper yearly, worth probably (180,000.000, to sell, with a profit on the operation of (80,000,000 a year, After supplying home needs we exported In the past 12 months 450, 000,000 pounds of copper and ,15,000.000 pounds of braas.. In this we got not only a profit on the metal but also a profit on lta manufacture Into bars. In gots, etc, from countries abroad. Before the fires had cooled In Valpa raiso a 1,200,000 foet cargo of American lumber left Puget Sound for that port. Labor Question in China. The almost universal use of fans In toiany parts of China gives rise to an important Industry. In Nanking some (0,000 or 70,000 people are employed In the work of making paper fans. Hardly any machinery, except that of the sim plest kind, is used at present but en- erprlslng foreigners are Investigating the possibility of supplanting handwork by machinery. Doubtless machines could be devised which would reduce the demand for fanmakers to less hundreds than thare are now thousands employed In Nanking, but what would happen to the displaced thousands? Tkc fchInterest0,, in Mexico BUELL BUTTERFIELD, IN THS PUBLIC It may seem ventureaome even to as sume the possibility of war between the united States and Mexico. ' But fore warned la forearmed. Nothing will be lost and something for international peace and national Independence may be gained. If the people on both sides of the line are watchful and thoughtful. Tne plutocrats of the United Btatea, In K4S, provoked an unjust war for the double purpose of despoiling Mexico of a great slave-holding territory, while di verting 'public atentlon from the slavery question then being agitated. So In 1896. did the newer Interests of monopoly fo ment the Cuban revolution against Spain, providing the Cubans with money and weapons, while the plutocratic news papers fairly breathed the spirit of in tervention. W do not even know who It waa that destroyed the battleship Maine at Havana, and thus brought on a war which all efforts until then had failed to precipitate, and which brought subject colonies Into the control of the Interests, besides, most Important, help ing to tide over the election of 1900. The habit of sacrificing nations to themselves is nearly universal among privileged classes threatened with equal ity. The war In South Africa was fought to acquire a rich subject territory, and Lsave the Jingo power In England. Ths war In Asia had two objects: To con quer new subject territory, and to save the autocracy of Russia. These wars failed of their greatest objects the kill ing of the discontented, and the divert ing of public atentlon from the nation's real enemies. Tet such wars are re peated again and again, and even now the plutocrats of the United States in tend that their nation shall go to war. For years they have visibly been cast ing about for some suitable country with which to war. Germany offered, but such a nation cannot be despoiled, even If vanquished; Morrocco, Venezuela, Santo Domingo, China and Colombia have all been looked over with war In view within three years. But no nation answers the requirements so well as Mexico. Mexico Is contiguous territory. Its gov ernment Is antlplutocratlc. Above all. whlls not abls to withstand ths United Btstes, It can put up a real light one that will keep the United States busy until after 1908. Meanwhile, the Interests could run things as they please; could buy high per cent bonds and could ssll embalmed beef to both sides. Afterward, two exhausted nations would be at their mercy one to be despoiled of Bonora and the other of Its public rights. - In a long contest Mr. Rockefeller haa been fairly beaten by President Dlaa. Rockefeller's sfforts to dominate Mexico have always been met by maaeuvera which left him where he began with the same powers as others have. When Mr. Rockefeller's railroad (ths Central) triad to buy the national system the govern ment bought la ahead of him; when he spoks of acquiring the Mexican oil wells President Dais advocated. In a published Interview, that they be nationalised When Mr. Rockefsller contracted to buy the whole oil output the government pro posed to buy his Junk line, the Central. At different times, corners and trusts have been satabllshed, each time to col'! lapse at the prompt removal ot the tariff which leapfrog Is considered s game of great refinement A girl well known In certain hunting circles told me that after dinner in the bllllard-room a man came up and said: 'Do let me weigh yea, Miss X I will carry you across the room. There were weighing scales In the room, but when I quite good naturedly refused, he then actually said: 'Well, look here. If you don't let me carry you I shell empty my whiskey and soda down the hack of your frock.' "She, never for a moment suspecting he was In earnest sstd: 'All right, you can. but I shan't be weighed,' and he actually turned half of hie whiskey snd sods down the back of her neck, smld ths roars of laughter of every one. "A male relative of mine was visiting a well-known hostssa After dinner the of the Common Disappointing Hoapitaltty. A Philadelphia business man recently bad as guest a friend from Toledo, an extremely busy Individual, little famil iar with the social gracea. For the first evening of bis stay dinner party had been arranged. The hoatess had provided a moat attractive young woman for the Toledo man; and It waa thought that he would take a aeaperace rancy to nor, wnicn inaeea no did. When the guests had gathered and ware ready to go out the host, with his poll teat bow, said: "Mr. Blank, will you pleaae take Miss Dash out to dinner r' "Certainly," responded the Toledo man, with alacrity, "but I understand that ws were to have dinner herarin the house." lei-Baa. From ths French of Sully-Prudhomm. Here below the lllaoa lie. All the song-birds heavenward fly; I dream of a summer for evsr and aye. Here below the Hps that greet Leave no imprint when they meet; I dream of a kill that will ever be sweet Here below the lovers mourn Friendships dead and hearts forlorn; I dream of the ties that shall never be torn. , Charles Houston Qoudlss. The Useful Walnut. In some parts nf France walnuts form a regular article of diet. The peasants eat them with bread that has often times been rubbed with garlic. . The hy gienic effects ere considered good, re placing meet to a large extent. Theae nuts are also used to make oil. It Is much cheaper and similar in taste to that pressed from olives, and lav em ployed to adulterate the latter. The prlaonera In certain prisons are engaged In cracking walnuta and picking put ths kernels, which are pressed into oil. Telephones in Theatre Boxes. From the London Opinion. To enable young married women. If they become anxious, to tslsphons horns and Inquire as to the condition of their children, telephones are fitted In every private box of the Coliseum. It la a common thing in' ths opera and many West End theatres to see a queue ot ladles waiting their turn at the tele phone between the acts, Just "to have a word with nurse." on the article cornered. And now Mr Rockefeller is keeping very quiet In Mexico. His feelings. or rather those of . bis dummies. are very much hurt; and they , will not again attempt to do business In such a country as Mexico. Capital will with draw from the country, we are told. frightened away by the hostile attitude of the unapprectatlve people and the gov ernment a Every natural human right ia as well guaranteed In Mexico as In the United States, and the vast riches of Mexico are open to all the world. The man In New Tork haa only to -ask for what he wants that la Mexico's and it ia hla almoat for the asking; be need never even see the country In all his Ufa. The sons of the country are not preferred to the man or woman of any land. But the man who takes more than he needs was not even thought of In the almpte calculation; and when he appeared on the scene It waa to meet the disapproving watchful ness of an alert government. At every turn the great monopolist, elsewhere al ways victorious, was quietly checkmated by the man who has never made 0,000.000, but haa made a nation prosperous and happy. But the interests never give up; they will not relinquish their Intention of dominating Mexico. There also must they resort to war. If they are to ac complish their purpose. They have stirred up rumors of revo lution, a thing that for to 'years has been of the past Probably ths riots at the copper camp of Cananea last June were of their making: for the lives of their countrymen are nothing to them, snd Abe copper trust Is fully capable or navmg committed that dounte tree aon. Very likely the present Insurrsc- tlon In Cuba, like those fomented In Venezuela by the asphalt trust, comes about through their machinations. How quickly comes the talk of Intervention I Did not Just such a revolution once take place at Panama? A In spite of all of the rumors, there is no country so tranquil as Mexico. Not a single one of the great powers of Europe Is In a stats of Internal psace so well contented as that of Mexico, unless we count Oreat Britain and Ger many as exceptions. Tet Mexico haa practically no stsndlng army. There are only about 3(,000 men. But present Indications seem to point this way: that If at any time It should be possible to stir up soms kind of a revolution In Mexico, or even a pretended revolution, the -trusts of the United States may be depended upon to do It. If possible, the revolution will be "ntl-f oreliry ' and hireling ruffians, the riff-raff of the cities, will be hired with oily money to murder a few American citizens (no matter about them, of course), and stir up as big a disturbance as they can. Of course, this will be considered ground for en Immediate invasion from the United States, and thus will follow a war that will not terminate until North America Is depleted of brave men. But no matter for the fallen Independence of one nation, or the forgotten republic of the other; no matter for the lost men and broken hemes: no matter to the Interests for the thousands whs Ills upon parching battlefields defending the lost flags. woman next to htm, during a slightly heated argument lifted a finger-bowl and poured the water down his neck. His retsliatlon was to put a whole plats of his grape skins down the back of her dress ' Congress Looks Good. Former Governor Jamea E. Campbell, who waa once regarded as a Democratic presidential possibility, has accepted ths nomination for congress In the Third Ohio district Politiciane by Heredity. Philip B. Stewart, who declined to run as the Republican candidate for gov ernor nf Colorado, la a aon of John W. Stewart, ones governor of Vermont sad a grandson of Horatio Seymour. v. Bishop McCates ffirtLday Bishop C C afcCabe, one ot the moat widely known bishops of ths Methodist Episcopal church, celebrated hla 70th birthday yesterday. He was born at Athens. Ohio, October 11. MM. He waa educated at Ohio Wealeyan university and entered the Ohio, conference of the Methodist Episcopal church In IMS. The moat adventnroua nart nf hla ca reer was hla week as a federal chaplain during the civil war. He was captured at Winchester and confined In Llbby prison. After the war he became pastor rurnrau unio, ana nnanciai agent Bishop McCabe, Who Is Three Score Years and Tan. of Ohio Wealeyan university. ' His work In obtaining money for the university at tracted the attention of the newly formed Church Extension society, which enlisted him aa assistant secretary. In 1(84, at a critical period In the ex istence of the Methodist Missionary so ciety, he undertook the secretaryship of .that Important organisation. During his' long connection with v these two so cieties Dr. McCabe's work has made him famous throughout the Christian world. Millions of dollars havs been raised and expended under his auspices. His voice has been heard in more hamlets, vu ltures, towns and cities than that of any other living Methodist Tkc Play By Johnston McCulley A mummy cannot talk and a maid can. At the Hellig last night when Richard Carle's "The Maid and the Mummy" eras produced, several hun dred people sat In their seats snd wished devoutly that the mummy would talk- and the maid wouldn't. Because of some mistake in booking this aeaaona attractions, "The Mali and the Mummy," It Is alleged, could not be housed at the Hellig longer than one night Therefore the first-nighters and the second and thlrd-nlghters Joined together last night In comfortably fill ing the Washington atreet theatre. The our tain aroae on .almost schedule time and disclosed to view some grimy scenery snd some grimy costumes upon some girls whose forms were shapely because the oostumers knew their busi ness. After half an hour of preliminary aklrmtahlng, Florence Coolman tripped upon the a tag and warbled a ditty en titled "Flo, Flo." which caused people to elt up- snd' look at their programs. Mies Coolman, said the programs, was playing "The Maid." and the first song promised much. But much is some times promised. Then there passed before the audience the usual 'comic opera characters, all of mediocre ability, and at last Fred Warren, as Bolivar the Mummy, dropped before the footllghta From that time until the last curtain fell Fred Warren worked his mightiest and what c red ft goes to the show goes to Fred Warren. Me made the most of bis role, he la bored Incessantly to provoke a laugh. and he won. He Is a comedian, la War ren, worth the price of admission. But the crowd of chorus girls that at tempted to back him up, though they worked hard enough, failed to evoke ant great amount of enthusiasm. The audi ence kept Its eye on the wings waiting for the entrance of Warren. Aa a show "The Maid and the Mum my" la superior to "The Royal Chef." There are aeveral strong hits In it. ths most popular ones being "Sad Experi ences," by Warren, Earle Dewey and Joe Edmonds; "Gee! It's Oreat to Be Crazy." by Edmonds; "I Fell In Love With Polly," by Dewey and chorus; "The Little Village Cut-Up," by 81 ma Harris, and "Peculiar Julia," by Dewey and chorus. la this laat number the chorus really made a nit s Jrrw But It was ths only nlaceaVemorella in a rack, and u win onen in here the chorua did. I There was an abundance of characters In the show, and It waa characterized, as are all of Carle's productions, by a daah and go that keeps an audience guessing. But "Ths Msld and the Mum my" falls to hold together consistently, snd one Is Inclined to think the real good of the show Is smothered In the number of characters snd the effort Of the producers to give each one a chance to make a hit There wasn't an excellent voice in the entire aggre gation. Earle Dewey comes the near est satisfying in thst line. None, of the female members of the company could sing. Costumes were changed fre quently, but they all bore stains -of an eastern season and a trip across the continent. Fred Warren, with a droit mimicry, and Eerie Dewey with hla songs snd his natural stage walk, con stitute "The Maid and the Mummy." It Is a case of s man and a mummy, be cause the maid wasn't there last night and Isn't the play at all. The msld Is entirely secondary; and It would have bean more consistent to have celled the show "The Mummy." But thst would never have done, of course. Thers has to be s maid in a comic opers. "The Msld snd the Mummy" was here for a one-sight stand. There will be no other chance for Portland playgoers to gee It unleee the eorapsny Is able to work la a return date later In the He Denies It. D. J. Campau. ths Michigan Demn- eratle leader, denies the report that he favors Hearst for the presidency, IB BIRDSEYE VIEWS r" TIMELY TOPICS SMALL CHANGE. Fine place to River. go Just now Hood The supply of Havana cigars will not be affected. e e Thai harvest la past but the summer declines to end. ' e Some other people besides the Cubans should bs relieved of nreerma. s Nobody seems to care whether David Bennett HUI Is for or against Hearst It Is still confidently believed that there will be plenty of football mud. Ws will, have a nice problem on our hands down In Cuba. too. If we annex It e But If the cans were labeled truth fullv how could ana sat with a sood appetite T Chicago will have the largest court house In the world; , needs It for dl Veres cases. Pheasants nsver tasted better It Is said by the few who have had a chance to taste them.. We haven't heard from Mr. Jerome on the stump yet but perhapa ha Is tak ing a preparatory nap. If a person gets killed while attend ing an auto race he shouldn't complain and he doesn't, either. e The Panama canal will probably he noted as the greatest grafting enter prise ever known on earth. Between Cuba and Teddy Jr. the president hasn't time 'to write his mes sage and watch the trusts, ton. Hsarst may deserve some of the abuse he Is receiving, but he can't hit amiss or too hard a good many of thoae who are oppoelng him. e ; . i Governor Cummine of Iowa will loaa great many Republican stand-pat votes, but some of the few Democrats In Iowa will vote for htm. tTlie Latest New REPORTED BY A. BENNETT, I went up to the fair at Pendleton ard seen the whole show from a to lssard, and it waa a hummer. There hae been bigger shows and better shows, mebbe, but at Pendleton a feller could take It all In and have a bully good time, and not get robbed or t romped on by the mob. And I tell you they had a lot of fine things to show ua, all raised In them two counties of Umatilla and Mor - I seen seme horses) there that Sure eras dalalea, and cows, too. and pigs and chickens, and lots of all Wads of grain, and fruit that would make a feller think he wss in God's own country for sure. And I seen a watermllllon that would break up the biggest nigger campmect ing that ever camped In this or any other oountry. It eras bigger nor a barrel, and wayed ever fifty 5 pound by the watch, and the, feller what brung It from Irrlgon said hew It waa took to the fair before It was near done growing. I geaa mebbe it would way at least a hun dred pound If it was left to get Its full growth. ' I went out to Tom Hailey'a ranch to sse his pigs and cows, and too Jeff My ers sad Mike Wisdom and Fred Locksley along, me and Toss did. I say "Tom," and ha la Jest "Tom" up there in his old home, where- people know him and love him. When he gets down to Salem he ia "Judge Hailsy," and When hs sets on the bench In the aooprssne court ha Is every Inch a Judge. As Wm drove along t heard lots of rich men holler out In Joyous tones, "Hello Tom," and lots of poor folks In the same Joyful way aay, "Hello Tom," and I though mebbe It wae better to bo so loved than to bs a Judge. a This has been a big weak In Rabblt vllle. and If ennybody ewer doubted about us getting to the front let him or her no longer doubt. Everything Is on the move. Hank Btirei sot a new, pen for hfs gate early In the weak, snd rite on the heels of that Old Man Bunco whitewashed hla hen houee. and then al most before the whitewash waa dry Major Falrply cleaned his winders, and not to bs outdons 81mm Dlpp put a new ridgepole into his tent I tell you the coming of Jeff Myers Into our midst to be one of us has put us all on our msttal, and there la nothing now that ean keep us back but a famine or a pestilence or mebbe a raise in the price of perscrlptlons. Everybody is talking about ths sits for the new haul tor the new order of Language of Umbrellas. There ia a language of umbrellas aa of flowers. For Instance, place your dleate that It will change owners t. it nulcklv In the Street meana jkat eomebody's eye le going to be In danger. To shut It quickly signifies that a hat or two will probably be knocked off. An umbrella carried over a woman, the man getting nothing but the drip pings of the rain, signifies eourtehlp When a man has the umbrella, and the woman the drippings, It Indicates marriage. To punch your umbrella Into a ser aon. and then Open It eeeana "I dislike you." To swing your umbrella over your ehoulder signifies '1 am making a aul baitce of myself." To trail year umbrella along the foot path means that ths man behind you la thirsting for your blood. To carry It at right angles under your arm signifies thst sn eye is to be In Jursd by the man who follows you. Thle Is generally a woman's way of carrying her umbrslls To open sn umbrsl'.a quickly. It la said, will frighten a mad bull. To put an alpaca umbrella by the side of a silk one signifies "exchange no robbery." To purchase an umbrella meana "I sm not smart, but honest." To lend aa umbrella indicates "I sm a fool -To return sn umbrella means well, never mind what It means; nobody ever does that. To carry an umbrella In esse signi fies it s shabby esM. To press aa aasarella oa m OREGON SIDELIGHTS. A load of grain hauled to Pilot Rock with one team weighed MSO pounds. A fine hopyard near Corvallta wss not picked because there wss no dryer to eure the hops in. lone will held an election to decide whether to bond the town for (4,000 to enlarge Its electric light plant e e Dell correspondence of Vale Oriano: W hear that Mr. Pope is fixing up a nice dinner for tomorrow. None but ladlss Invited. e e Pheaaants era not numeroua around Stayton because, says the Times, too msny were shot before , they were feathered out. Canby Tribune: We would rather be a "cross-roads" editor and have three meals a day than to work on a city dally and eat free lunch. Aa effort la being made to get coal from the WUlow creek onal mines by s numoer or people in MQBfjasr. two men are mining the coal which will be hauled by wagon and team. e Samples of hops contracted at IS cents a pound show, says the Aurora Borealta, that not alone wars the hops picked and put in the hale, but also the leaves and a good per cent of the vines. e e Harney correspondence of Vale Ori ano: Hands are scarce so someone thought they would get them In good ' working order by filling them up on whisky, but some way It didn't do wall and but little grain was pitched se a consequence. One waa lying in a ditch two nights afterwards hollowing. e e A Sulslaw man thus announces In the Florence West that he wants a wife: Prefer a woman from (6 to 40 years old. admire either a blonde or a brunette. She must be sober and eminently super stltioua I em 10 years old. would be taken for man of 46. I am sound, have a good appetite i love nttie cnuaren. I am working at Hurd's mill, sm an old democrat and believe in that good old democratic principle. "The hair of the dog Is good for the bite." I hsve a ranch on north Ten Mile. From RaDDitville OF THE DALLES OPTIMIST. Coagulated Rabbits, but Jeff and me Is keeping mumm. We have a place picked out. but we got to keep It to ourselfs for a time ontil we git the plans reddy. sad can get the lot befoar some eyndlcate gits In ahead of ua But we wont call it a haul, but a correii, and our meetings la to be called round ups, snd our traps for members Is to be 1 drives. .Noble Surefoot Myers haa It nseny an worked out and we expect to hold the first roundup down to Salem and take In Chamberlain and some mora Big Guns, for Jeff says we sot to bee-ln at the top end work down, r . There will be a preaching at early candlelight next Lord's Day evening. All are invited to attend and bring their frienda. Arrangement has been msde with the city drug store to sbet up during the ceremonies, so come one and come all to the house of preaching at early candlelight, and be sure and come early so not to disturb the services. A duett will be sung by Lisa. Buttsrbottom during ths lifting of the collection, the tune being a secret until ths tune Is sung by Liza. ' The city drug stars Has Just received a fine stock of hose and hoee, the for mer for lady's wars and the latter for aprinkllng purpoaea. Also some eggs, which are offered cheap for cash aa some of them are not evry fresh. And soms buttsr that la warranted to please. And a few more of them . number I mackerrel and a hamm. Also aoma glrablets and wire nates and a fsw seeder-fence poets. Also dry goods of aver description, and a oupple of large sized coffins which will be out down to fit any purchaser, and do not forget we servs perscrlptlons at any hour day or nlto. e e v Hank Stlfsl is trying to induce the dominie to run a protracted meeting next weak aa Hank aaya he would like to get some religion, not having been converted now for most a year. Mebbe the dominie wUl do It e e e We dont think of anything more worth repeating exoept that Sim Dion dropped quite a little wad In a gams of poker the other site. He run us agtast four aces with only 4 Kings. Slur saya hs has reformed and will never gambol again. But Sim Is busted and has no credit at Ue elty drug store and is sober. And he 1 liable to make any old promise when he is sober. saying, "Oh. do take It; I would much rather you would than not" signifies lying. To give a friend half your umbrella meana that both of you will gat wst To carry It from home In the mornlrur ??". m likely be a fins Oldest Ship Afloat? The De Trend Brodre la her name, and If shs Is not shs ought to be the oldest ship at present In commission on the four oceans. Only a few weeks age this old sating ship, whose keel was laid at Marstal, Prussia, In 17(8. ar rived In Swedlah watera. and la Febru ary of next year eke will eelebrste her met birthday. Not only Is the De Tvende Brodre la S class by herself In point of age but shs Is Just as Interesting so far aa the history of her eklppsra Is concerned During all the years ahe has been oa the sees she has had but five eaptalna, and sarsry one of these skippers belonged to the asm family. The first skipper nav igated the vessel for years, the sec ond ( years, the third to years, ths fourth II years and ths present skipper has base IT years In command. At the present time the De Tvende Brodre Is taking on cargo In the harbor of Nykoping, Sweden. Will Make It Unanimous. Owing to his business affairs at home, Hoks Smith, the new governor of Georgia, haa found It necesssry to de cline the Invitation to take the stump In Texas Despite the fsct that their success Is sssured ths Democrats of the Lone Star state are pursuing a vigorous campaign with a view to rolling u an unprecedented majority.