12 - . ' TOE OREGON , DAILY v JOURNAL. PORTLAND, SATURDAY EVENING, MARCH 26, 1904. V,
11 JJ JJjljBBBjssBB
DOES-DOUBLEUTY
r -
POPULAR PLAYS FOR THE PEOPLE.
"THE OLD HOMESTEAD.' ;
(Copyright 1804. f W. B. Bearat.) ,. J
. '
Uncle Josh and "Happy Jack."
i - - - - - i r j m i . t ji i i . i i i- i - r
r f I I II U III i ll-'l' If .a.
II ma-., -u
"I don't cara, I'm perfectly happy,"
said Frank.
"I'm ure I don'freare, I'm nappy per-
fectly happy. Don't see how I could be
. more so," ald Nellie, in a hopeful tone
f voice.
Neither was looking at the other. Each
tried to be absorbed in a book; but cer
'tatnly neither -was absorbed, for on the
average, during the entire afternoon,
' they had made remarks similar to the
foregoing at least every 10 minutes.
i "Did you say, Nellie," continued Frank,
Just a trifle doubtful, "that there was
enough In the bouse for supper and
breakfastr '
"I'm quite sure, dear," said Nellie,
' "that there la enough for supper, and
perhaps for breakfast But we shall not
want much for breakfast You know that
you have very often said that you did
not care for much breakfast and really
I can get along on nothing at all."
"I don't see what we have to worry
about then, do youT" v
. "Indeed, I do not I think we have
every reason to be perfectly happy," she
.. answered. .-7 i
"Sure of supper today and breakfast to
morrow. I should say we have every rea
son to be thankful," continued Frank. :
"Yesndeed." added Nellie. "Just think
of the number of people! in the world who
. are sure neither of supper today nor
breakfast tomorrow. Take the case of a
cannibal"- -
"Just What I. was thinking," broke In
Frank. "He Is dependent on the chance
call of a missionary surely a precarious
'. existence."
"Oh, Frank, you are Joking!" said
Nellie.;
'Proof that I am perfectly happy.
responded Frank.
' ' "While I am perfectlyappy," said Nel
' lie, "I do wlnh that tl firm had not
: failed, and that you haAnot lost your
' pool uon,r and your good salary."
7 "Yes, and while I am perfflptly haapy,'
'said Frank, "I do wish thaf our parents
bad not objected to our marriage."
"The Idea that we, who are children
. . both of us, of rich parents, should be left
. to the disagreeable expedient of pawning
the few wedding presents that we re
1 celved!" ( i-
"Bay rather the disagreeable expedient
. . of pawning the last wedding prenent that
we recewea. now now (now, uuie wile,
you are going to cry
"Indeed, I am not," said Nellie, etrug-
' gllng bravely to supprees the tears.
think we are very luckjr to have any
wedding, presents to pawn. In fact
think we are very lucky Indeed."
. "And so do I," added Frank, "verr.
; ' very lucky'-" Just there he was Inter
rupted.
There Is bo better time than an Inter
' ruption to explain the condition of af
fairs In a romance, so I will take ad
vantage of the present one, which may
, te tne oniy interruption in my story,
Frank and Nellie Hayward had married
s against their parents' wishes. Their
i parents, though rich, refused to help
them In any way, or even to receive them
In their homes. Frank was brave and
manly, and Nellie was sensible and worn
anly. They determined to do for them
selves, and at the very outset made a
solemn compact with each other that
corns what might they would consider
their love for each dther compensation
lor an tne me or lire.
Vor a time things went very welL Frank
. obtained a position that enabled them to
live very comfortably In a furnished flat,
Hut as In the life of every one else, the
time came when luck .turned against
thtin. The firm that employed Frank
failed, and hewas unable to get another
Pl(in.- The kittle money that they had
i va ttp from bis salary was soon ex
' Imusted. They were forced to the dls
nirreeable expedient ' of pawning such
tiunrs of value as they possessed. . and
finally they had come, to the end of, even
Never during all their trouble had
either acknowledged to the other that
they were anything but happy. The
crisis, . however, had just about been
reached. They were in a quandary. It
was a question whether they would be
forgiven by their parents under any
circumstances, and they were hot at all1
willing to acknowledge that they bad
made a mistake. They were obstinately
proud; . ; . : ;
But there was an Interruption. It. was
knock at the door. Nellie rose from her
seat and Frank was about to do so, when
it occurred to him that the chances were
that it was a creditor, and he thoughtIt
hardly worth while to go to the door. Be
was rather aurpriaed though, when, atnd I frankly confess that for a leng
the Invitation of his wife, the door was time I havs had a disguised heart I
were saying you were when I knocked on
your door you are lucky. I am a man
of whimsicalities. I have been looking all
my Ufa for a happy married couple.
Someone, never mind who, told me that
you were the couple I was looking for.
I did not believe It for & long time, but
when I discovered that you were in hard
luck, and still were not complaining, I
began to believe it My mission on earth
la to assist happy couples who are In hard
luck. This ,1a tba first time I have ever
had a chance to fulfill my mission. It is
all the more to your advantage, though
there Is more money In the fund than
there -would be If the world were stocked
with happy couples. I propose to settle
on you a little Income of 1500 a year.
The old gentleman paused to see what
effect this startling announcement would
have on the happy couple. The effect was
not marked. They looked at him very
much aa they would look at a curiosity.
I suppose you think I am' an insane
man?" he said, angrily.
No," answered Nellie, "but I. think
you are my father, with a wig and eye
glasses, and a very poor attempt at a dls
gulsed voice,
Saying which, she ran to him and
threw her arms about his neck.
"WelL I am," auld the old gentleman.
laughingly, as he removed his disguise.
5
opened by a queer old man, who looked
at each of them over the rims of his
eyeglasses for a full minute-before he
spoke. ' i
Mr. and Mrs. Hayward, Z believe?" he
said at length.
Yes, sir," replied Nellie. "Will you
take a chalrt"
Ought to havs been named Wayward,
I suppose," he said, chuckling to himself,
ss he took his proffered chair. "I sup
pose my visit la rather unexpected T"
"Decidedly," said Frank, curtly.
"Well, It la the unexpected that always
happens," said the old gentleman. . "I was
rather surprised to hear you through
the door, accidentally, of course, assur
ing yourselves that you were very lucky
and very happy, arid all that sort of
thing
"May I inquire what business It is of
of yours, sir?" asked Frank
'None, except that It assured ma that
I had found the right place," answered
the old gentleman.
And what place were yon looking torr
asked Frank r
The house of a happy married oouple.
said the old gentleman.
"You have found It said Frank and
Nellie together.
"Ah!" said the old gentleman. "It Is
quite a curiosity. I suppose you will par
don an old gentleman like myself If .he
asks a few questions. I am a student of
human nature, you know, and who
knows? perhaps this visit may redound
to your advantage.
Fire away," said Frank, who was be
ginning to be interested. '
"In the first place, what was the occa
slon of your saying just now that you
were lucky V
"Because we had some wedding pres
ents to pawn," answered the Ingenuous
Frank.
"No," corrected his wife, gently, "be
cause we had had some wedding presents
to pawn.
Dear me!" said the old gentleman,
"their -ara all tawned then?" .'
Yes," ahtrwered Neliier "but that does
not make us unhappy."
"I suppose that you occupy a good post
tlon?" said the old gentleman to Frank.
"I have lost my position, sir," the lat
ter answered.
'.'You -have plenty of money In the
bank?" '
"Kern n
"Undoubtedly you havs a 'well-stocked
larder, though?" A
"It Is about exhausted. j
"Of course, in the case of real distress
you have your parents to rely on?"
, "On the contrary, -we would, not wish
to ask tnem to neip us under any clrcum
stances."
"Well, young man," said the old gen
tleman, excitedly, "wjll you tell me what
In the world you are! going tA,rdo?"
"I would much rather have; you - tell
me what I am going to do," answered
Frank. .
"Nothing, answered the old gentle
man, solemnly.
"That's what I have been doing quite
a-wnue. ' - -.i-
"The fact Is," continued the old gen
didn't want to help you until I thought
you needed It, so I waited. But I will
tell you this if you had acknowledged
that you were not happy I would have
given you double the allowance I have."
"I don't care," said Nellie. "I'm per
fectly nappy."
"And so am I," said Frank.
A UCOBD TOM XCKM.
From the Corva.ll la Times.
Mrs. J. A. Bmlth of this cltv hss 80
Brown Leghorn hens that are "breaking
tne record'- lor winter laying. From the
first day of October, 1903. to the 20th
day of March, inclusive, they have laid
100 dosen eggs, six settings of which
were sold for 13, and the market value
of the balance was S1S.24, making, a to
tal value of their product $38.24. ' Dur
ing this time she expended for food
313.65, so the net profit on the eggs was
325.69. Their record by months was as
followst
Dos.
October 13
November 21
December .............. S4
January 22
February ...4.. 29
Twenty days in March.,, 43
Total .-.,..160
Six settings....
Value.
$ 2.61
(.33
9.71
4.84
6.84
S.90
I3S.24
3.00
$38.24
Tor Weak and Hervous People.
We have a cure for nervous and on
steadv doodIs. weak, fleshless neonlr.
ana pimpjy, pais or aaiiow people; peo
pie who are troubled with loss of am
bitlon, falling memory, depression of
spirits, lacK 01 connoence, nervous head'
ache and wakefulness: all these avmn,
tnma a m nrrvluctful hv wu IrnnaH hen..
brought on by the watery condition oi
the blood. Make strong, rich red blood
and furnish food for the nerves is the
way to stop the source of the disease,
snd the cure then Is only a question of
days. The best flesh and blood builder
1 T. i il .. . . x . , .
im iri . uunu 1. ututru miu i-verve XOniC, 111
tablet form,'1 to take at meal time. Belli
at 75c a box, or i boxes for $2, at all
drug stores, or sent postpaid on receipt
of price. People gain from 1 to I lbs.
of solid, Imalthv flesh per week by the
una 01 nim memcine, mat is an Indica
tion that It is doing good. Address, Dr.
VVHU.U XV., A lliUIU)IUll, It.
JfaU All Over Himself Again.
From the Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Maklnbrakes was complimenting
the. preacher, whom he had happened to
meet at a street corner.
"I liked that sermon of yours last
Sunday first rate. Mr, Snow." he s.M.
."It was right to the point Reminded
me -1 didn't trunk or It till Just now of
a sermon I heard in Missouri once. The
preacher by the way, he was a er
colored manrd forgotten that but the
coincidence was you know there are
colored preachers that that can preach
like the old Harry sometimes and
and, wen. when you come to think of it
you know there's a good deal of soir-
itual awakening on the part of your
congregation now, isn c inere, Mr,
5 w
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It's like a magnet - draws
to your" store.
ople
It speaks for you by" dajr and does
double duty at night burning your name into
the public mind. There is nothing; so effect
ive as an ELECTRIC SIGN. It will tell
. ., ... - ' . ,,., v. .,77 7 , ' -V , , 7" 7 '7. '7"::;- ' ;;:..7 . : ; v'.'-'." v'.7;77'':
the people in a moment that you are up-to-date.
It will show ycur location at night.
It makes an impression that is not easily
extinguished; the public never forgets
where it saw anything that impressed them.
They are effective, economical,
convenient and tell the tale attiie
proper time and place.
On flat or meter
basis
Special
rates made on term contracts.
Gall on us and we will be
pleased to explain all details.
km
ECffiflC
;SEVENTH AND ALDER STREETS
CM PAN Y
1
7 -V ,
uuu resource, . ., j -
i tleman, "you are precisely what yotl
8 now' ,
1
-I.