The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972, October 07, 1903, Image 6

The Oregon daily journal., October 07, 1903, Page 6, Image 6

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Newspaper Page TextPORTLAND m 4 , OREGON EDITOR I A L : WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 7 & M ) OF JL JTX. V JLW X 1JLU THE OREGON DAILY JOURNAL AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER v JOURNAL PUBLISHING; CO.,. . Proprietor C. 8. JACKSON. . . . .... . Publisher at The JourwU Building. Fifth and . ' Yamhill 6ts Portland. Or. colonial, do not want an empire. They are not seeking to be the greatest power the world has ever seen. He is a very poor stu dent of English history who .finds this the Ideal of the English people. The. Norman adventurers, who have given daah to the British stock, have led the alower yeomanry to many a foreign grave; put questions of CHARACTER AND TEETH. These Seems to Be An Evident Connection Between the Two. The girl whose teeth are not pretty must take herself to a dentist, for character is to be read in the teeth, and not only character, but personal traits. V , , , , , j ne reaamg or cnaracter oy ma teetn wai OFFICIAL, CITY PAPER GOCO EVENING. . Today Is your day and ml no tho only day we have, the dny In which we play our part. What our part may signify In the great whole we may not understand, but we are here to play It, and now is our time. This we know It Is a part of action, .not of whining. It Is a part of love, not cyn icism. It Is for use to express love In terms of human helpfulness. This we know; for we have learned from sad experience that any other course of life leads toward decay and waste. Preface to "Philosophy of Despair." THE BANK CLERKS'. UNION. It Is Arranged on New Lines That Are Help ful to the Members. "H. D. B." In Chicago Journal. A novel kind of a labor union held a na tional 'convention on Friday and Saturday Ot-lasU week. aU Cleveland O., Jt, Is the WHAT ARE THE QUALIFICA- l HE MAYOR is Just as determined that mere lotteries shall not be oper ated as he Is that faro and roulette games shall be operated; the difference being that his success In preventing lotteries does does not equal his success In promoting the Other forms of gambling. Nevertheless, the mayor hopes, with the aid of a chief of po- lice devoted to his interests, in time thor oughly to establish the gambling trust upon an. Impregnable basis, yielding a safe cor ruption fund, and at the same time drive all ; other competitors from the field, j Just what is the mayor's principle of selec tion among the ancient and approved gam bling devices he has not condescended to . confide to a meddlesome and impertinent public. Since the lotteries, Caucasian and Ast ' atlc, are henceforth to be excluded from mu nicipal favor, it must be supposed that they hare failed to qualify themselves to be mem bers of the trust. What those qualifications are Is not disclosed by the public archives. 'Nevertheless, there is some excusable curi osity on that subject. What does a gambler have to do to obtain the mayor's grace? What arguments must he use before the sov ereign seat of power for gracious permission to swell the public revenues? What creden tials must he have to join the gambling trust? To what must he subscribe for leave to corrupt the city government? - When men shall desire to immolate them-, selves upon the altars of the fickle goddess, the people. It Is hardly possible that the disposition of the people has suffered change. The IJrltlsh people, as ever, desire liberty, Justice, equal rights and opportunities. They contend for these for themselves; they yield them, even though tardily, to others. An opium war, an American war or a Boer war are spots of shame in their history self-recognized. "The greatest power In the -world'' would be Instantly suspected, both at home and "over seas" to use a fa vorite Briticism as premeditating an at tack on popular rights. The English people have always loathed "the greatest power in the world" In their king. They have never surrendered It; they will not be likely now to place It where It Is hard for any one sec tion. or even any one Individual, to get It back. But aside from the Ingrained hostility of the British people to that concentrated and Irresponsible form of sovereignty rightly known as empire, the British possessions are treosraDhlcallv incapable of assuming it. The self-governing colonies are already com monwealths. They will not - p'ace money or ships at the disposal of an Irre sponsible central power. When Great Brit ain ceases to protect them, they will protect themselves, and let England protect herself. Equally Impossible Is a commercial empire Chamberlain" program of free trade and preferential tariffs between the various ele ments, or congeries of states. No system could prove satisfactory In every section. Chamberlain himself steps down on the cry of Dearer Bread. But above that the sys tem may be punctured by other states. By offer of free trade with Canada, that do minion could be Instantly severed from the British Zollvereln; and the United States Is perfectly able to establish complete reci procity with Canada at any opportune mo ment. Contiguity of territory is necessary for a protective system. This the British empire has not. In fact. Great Britain and her dependencies are not an empire. The name is a misno mer. So far as anything they are a federa tion hot yet developed. The tie is senti mental and historical. To make anything more out of it Is to snap the tie as was done in 1776 In America. As makers of commonwealths the English people have np superiors; as empire-builders they are fail ures. In the present crisis they may learn again the significance of the distinction. who had turned his attention toothward. "If the character can be told by the- palm, it can also be read In the teeth," he de clared. And at once, by a reading of the teeth of those in the drawlnfoom at the time, he 'demonstrated the fact that it was possible to tell, not only character, but ten dencles and traits, cultivated and inherited. "Teeth that point Inward." said he. ''art teeth that remind you of a fish's teeth. They are usually short, rather sharp, and the In ward curve Is very pronounced. "Such teeth belong to the selfish woman. They denote some personal vanity, but spe cially great selfishness. If you know a woman whose teeth curve Inwardly, beware, for she Is a woman who looks out for her self first and for you afterward. Such peo ple are usually inordinately fond of good things to eat, and they will go to great lengths to get that which they want. "The best teeth are those that are even and not too small, but rather regular and of a creamy whiteness. Blue-white teeth de note weak mental powers, and teeth that are very dark usually tell of a poor state of physical health. But the cream-white teeth, of medium size, set regularly In the moh 'iO. a nice, even row, are the . of all to have iJVJirJnilAitute of ,Bnk Clerks 1 JTWhJ clerks of the United States. The banks of Chicago contribute 400 members. The central Idea of this labor union la the same as with all labor unions the ; mutual benefit of its members. The methods, how4 ever by which it is sought to achieve such benefit are diametrically opposed to the methods in vogue ameng most labor unions. Instead of agitating for shorter hours t work the American Institute of Bank Clerks agitates for longer hours. Instead of dis ciplining its members for Working overtime, It encourages them to spend their leisure evenings tn overtime special work oh the theories and practices of banking.5 Instead of demanding that every member restrict his work to a certain feature of banking. It prompts them to acquire Intelligent Inter est In all features of banking. Instead of Insisting on higher pay for the same service it instills the notion of better service for the same pay. The plan and purpose of this union is to raise the standard of competence among all bank clerks, and not to create a common middle-level standard to which the lowest may aspire to rise, and to which the highest must be forced to fall. BEGAN AS A CLERK. Interesting Career of Late Northern Paoifio i.. ,, From the New York Times. ' Charles Sanger Mellen, who haa resigned the presidency of the Northern Pacific rail road, was horn in Lowell Mass -on. August J ' 1 mm SHORT STORIES J'" ' ' . : , Knew Its Location. fronuth ..Brooklyn Eagle.- Is": 1881. He had brief schoolln In th.locl Josepn af lm before local noJlra ftia- mfohiHJim- Jk fairway 3iVee fct'fhV fWslsAaeU Wrttfn 7cT La haW age of 1 years when In 18f he entered as a lw" n ! cuetomary, the warrant was clerk the office of the cashier of the New to him before the case opened It Yorlc.Naw Haven A. Hartford railroad.. Ma stated, that the?, applicant for the warrant was afterward successively clerk tohactriaf cted 0 "Information and belief." The Jus. engineer of the Central - Vermont railroad c nJous that Joseph should thoroughly and clerk In the treasurer's department of the Northern New Hampshire railroad. In 1873 Mr. Mellen went Into, the servlca of the Boston, Lowell & Concord railroad, and 'a tti order assistant to the manager,, auditor, superintendent and general superintendent. In 1888 Mr. Mellen became general pur haslng agent of the Union Paclflo railroad,' and after that was assistant general man-. agar and general traffic manager of J that road. In 1902 he returned to the Bast and understand the nature of the proceedings, said! - .... "I presume you knnw h,t tbu M.n. "Tea. sir.f ariswarl tha rninri ,f What. does It meaor' asked his ' honor. hot yet satisfied, Joseph did not seem to be able to clearl explain. ' I "Ten the court what is meant by informa tlon.tf said the judge. On," I know that," Joseph hastened to as- "Teeth that are separated by large open spaces generally belong to a vicious dispo sition. The man whose teeth are separated Is cruel in his nature, and the woman whose teeth are not pushed together, but that grow apart so as to leave big spaces between, ia the woman whose fits of temper have gotten her into trouble many a time and oft. "Very large teeth that show prominently and seem to come out 'to a point In front denote much animal spirit. Women who have such teeth as this are Inclined to laugh a great deal and to enjoy life. When you find such a set of teeth you will find a good disposition; and the teeth. If well cared for, are a positive beauty in the good-natured face. the mayor chooses the altars. No person I to be allowed to sacrifice himself except at a shrine of the mayor'i particular selection. No man Is to be permitted to throw away 10 cents on a Chinese lottery, when he can con , tribute dollars, to the exchequer of the mayor's favorites. Since men will gamble, they shall gamble for the good of the pub He treasury and the mayor's friends. And the .public treasury Is subordinate to the mayor's friends. , There Is some other reason than the pre tense of public welfare for the present situa tion. There are gamblers clamoring to be fined, and by whose fines .the corruption - fund of the treasury could be largely in creased. If it is to be the policy to make as much as possible out of the violation of the law, why shall it not be extended to ac compllsh that object ? The harm would In no wise be augmented. The gamblers' trust already, accomplishes all the harm possible. '.The policy Is quite indefensible. It is des picable. The mayor's obstinacy In 'defying jaibJlceclDJoji an! injuring, bis .own reuuta tion, not only for wisdom, but for probity, is not, pleasant to consider. It Is not that rounding of an honorable career which his. friends his true friends had so much rea son to expect. GREAT BRITAIN'S POLITICAL CRISIS. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN'S manifesto to the British public is well calculated, as It is intended, to precipitate the greatest crisis in the development of the Engllgh peo ple. As has been well shown, his policy is not truly economic or commercial. It is po litical. "The plain, blunt question now reaching the surface Is: Do the English people desire an empire? By the English people is meant not only those in England, but those of Eng lish blood and language in the colonies. Hitherto It has betn assumed, especially In the manifestoes and pronunciamentoes of the English imperialifits, that the English people did desire an empire. The name of empress of India was bestowed upon Vic toria. Salisbury stated twenty-five years ago, "We have been the center of a splendid empire, a converging trade." The term "em pire" was used thus, as usual, in introdueing new tendencies of doubtful public approval, In a vague sense. Almost any people Is pleased and flattered at the sense of power looeeiy suggested in me largest term or su 1 preme sovereignty. Commercial sovereignty or superiority was linked with a hint of that of .political supremacy. 'Since that tjme the use of terms has tight ened immeasurably. Not the loose general hint, but the exact, bedrock significance is now required of politicians when they ex press themselves. This Is why Chamberlain "has been hissed "by the London worklngmen, has resigned his cabinet position, bringing the cabinet Itself down about him, and is 'now addressing manifestoes to the British electors. Chamberlain, now declares that those opposing his fiscal propositions are "not -friends- of the British etaplrer thls win go to pieces unless preserved by his meas ures. He charges that Cobden had no real isation of the imperial Idea, and even looked Upon the colonies 9s encumbrances. He an nounces therefore that It is the empire rather than any economic scheme which is . at stake. . . , , . , , It Chamberjain' antagonists are clear and flrnv, they will meet him squarely. Thejr St til fj that the English people, insular or J T THE JOURNAL AND THE THEATRES. HE ACTION of the theatres In with drawing their patronage from The Journal Illustrates an erroneous view of the newspaper function, which we shall be at pains to dispel. If one enterprise seek ing to perpetrate a fraud on the public can make the newspaper an ally in its fraudu lent purpose, every other such enterprise may do the same thing. By such a system it would soon transpire that the newspaper, instead of being an advocate of the peo ple's interests, would degenerate Into a mere instrumentality of deceiving the public. The advertising columns of a legitimate newspaper are not Intended to convey the opiniona of Jhe paper upon questions relat ing to public matters, but are vehicles to enable the business advertised to speak to the public in its own behalf. -The money paid therefor buys space, but ,it does not purchase the conscience of the paper. Of course, it Is always a pleasure to be able. when the facts warrant, to support the truth of the advertisement.' But' when the facts do "hot warrant, and the matter relates to the public, as theatres do, then the duty of the paper is to the public, and not to the advertiser. The engagement of the news paper in such cases "Is to tell the truth as It sees It. It makes that engagement to the public by being a newspaper. If Is paid for doing that very thing, and It cannot fall in that regard without violating its contract with Its patrons. ' And honest advertisers of theatres, as of other business, must see that the course of The Journal Is of the greatest benefit to them. It gives an added value to their ad vertisements. Only .those can complain who are not , honest, and as to them, their com plaints are compliments. i The Journal Is therefore under obligations to the theatrical trust for Its action. It af fords a demonstration to the "people of The Journal's fidelity to their Interests, and the withdrawal of theatrical patronage under these circumstances Is worth more money to this paper than the price of the space. The Journal is not belligerent, but only just. It would do it no good to criticise ad- ersely a' meritorious play. Its duty to Its public forbids that. The long and short of it Is that The .T jrnal means to rescue Port land from the low estate Into which it has fallen in the theatrical world. ThiB city. In its intelligent appreciation of good art. Is worthy of the'best that is soing. It must no longer be viewed as a field for the ex ploitation of Inferior talent at the prices of superior talent. The patrons of theatres look to honest dramatic criticism as a pro tection. They shall have It. Portland audiences are critical, indeed, but appreciative. No bad acting can suc ceed here, but no really meritorious com pany was ever greeted with cold houses. When theatrical managers shall thoroughly understand this, they will come to rely rather upon' the merit of their companies than upon intimidating the press. "Teeth set in a narrow Jaw Indicate refine ment. No matter how large they be or how Irregular, they show that the owner has re fined tastes and quick natural sympathies. "Very short, very stubby teeth denote ob stinacy, and where the teeth are very blunt, as ' though they had been sawed off, the woman who Is blessed with such teeth can be relied upon to hold her own In an argu ment, whether she be- right or wrong. She will neither give up nor in to anybody. "Teeth that project are not a charming feature, but they denote generosity. Women with projecting; teeth are usually pious, gen erous, good-souled and free from the affecta tions of womankind. Such teeth belong to the best people In the world those who can be relied upon in time of trouble, ' as they say. "There is another kind of teeth the teeth that are very uneven and crowded In the Jaw. Where such teeth are of different sizes and of different colors, as is often the case, they denote an erratic disposition. "Very talented people have uneven teeth all sizes, all shapes and gathered together apparently at haphazard by Mother Nature. The precocious girl and the piecoclous boy will show such teeth as this, and you will not Infrequently find such a row of teeth in the mouth of a man or of a woman who has done something In the world." bant rtJ has iuit Issued a little booklet announcing lecture courses and plan; of study, for the ensuing year. A number of pithy paragraphs by Chicago bankers are included in it, as official mottoes for this novel union of work lngmen. Charles GL Dawes broaches the theory that he who avails himself of oppor tunities to be helpful to others will help himself. E. 'D. Hulbert suggests that the man who aspires to excel his fellows can afford to neglect nothing that will add to his mental and physical equipment and he must alsd keep the good-will and respect of his fellowiworkmen. S. R. Flynn says that the man who knows how has always been In demand, but never so much as now. One of the features pf the work of this union is public speaking not in arraign ment, however, of the "money power" which employs bank clerks, but In open debates on such subjects as branch banks and asset currency, concerning wnicn many or tne clerks have doubtless come to clearer under standing than some of their employers. undertook the general management of the I "un him: "Information is something folk New York St New England railroad; from 1 na" on in bowels." which he passed in the same year to tho I office of second vice-president of the New Laek of Precaution. xorx. wew Haven & Hartrora raiiroaa. an 1 'nun me tJosion rost. 1 office which he held four years, when he be- I T Trowbridge, the aged author, is writ came president of the Northern Pacific. auiomograpny at nis home In Ar inc. which has expanded largely under his man- ton Mr. Trowbridge wa born In Ogden,' N. gement. It was Mr. -Mellen who negotiated I - " Tn otner day he said: the purchase by the Northern Pacific ;Com-U - Trom Ogden I went to' school at Lock pany of the St. Paul ft Duluth railroad, and I P" n my boyhood, and there was a Lock- In 1001 the Seattle & International railway. Prt etonecutter whom I used to like to talk . . . . . . A . ... . I A fnm V a a-... .... 1 k ..... M. A... . . . . ,1V JtiU. .Ctl I .-...T.rj,,BW.M PIUI Bl KUUU I... Into the Northern Pacific system. Under Mr, Mellen's leadership, too, the company fol lowed the plan- of making large sales' of the lands received from the government. DRINK IN. SOCIETY. If the bank clerks of Chicago should ever go on a strike, it would mean a general tie- up or business. Half a dozen weii-posteu and well-trusted clerks In almost any large bank could, by suddenly walking out, em barrass the bank so that it would perhaps save money by shutting down. The bank clerk sees and handles an enormous amount of money, an Insignificant pittance of which he gets In wages for himself. He does a great deal of wearing mental work. A financial publication recently estimated that if the check and draft items handled by Chicago bank clerks every day were laid lengthwise I mainly the fault of the men in a line, in aDOUl a weea mey wouicj ex tend a distance almost equal to that between New York and Chicago, and In a month they would extend a distance pretty nearly all around the world. Jockeys as Money-Makers. From the New York World. Whatever may be said of the pecuniary rewards of other expert talent, those of the little star Jockey are certainly rising to tempting figures. Orover Cleveland . Fuller, who 10 months ago was a stable boy earn ing 30 a month, has an income now of about $50,000 a year the salary of an Amer ican president. He is but 18 years of .age, stands 5 feet 4 Inches high and rides at 100 pounds weight. WhIJe Fuller's rlee to fame and fortune has been unusually rapid his first winning race was "over the Lakeside track in Chi cago last November the star Jockeys of the period all command Incomes on a level with bank and railroad presidents and the most eminent men of the professions. Ar thur Redfern Is paid $10,000 a year by W. C. Whitney, and earns as much more from others. Captain S. S. Brown of Pittsburg pays $ 16,000 a year to George Odbm, who .is believed to receive aa much more for his services to others. "Pittsburg Phil" paid Willie Shaw a $15,000 fee for the season, and William Gannon Is said to receive $10, 000 for riding for the Keenes. Let no money-eager youth mistake the well-paid Jockey's Job, however, for a "soft thing." His day begins about 4 a. m., lasts till late in the afternoon, and Is full of "strenuous life" training down, exercising horses and the tremendous ' tension of the great rate,. with his employer's money and his own reputation both at stake. And if he makes big money while he lasts, he rarely lasts beyond the age of 25, and unless he has the saving faculty, soon finds himself a poor 'man again An old-time Jockey who formerly made $10,000 a season Is now seen on Broadway earning a pittance as a sand wich man. ' ... ' Fortunately for business Interests, there is never likely to be a strike of bank clerks. The most influential and capable among their number would not lead a strike movement, for they would not want to forfeit their chances for promotion. And If the less capable furthered such a movement, they would swiftly lose Jobs which many men who aspired -to be bankers would gladly take. Ambition to rise in life would make it im possible for any labor union among bank clerks to succeed, except on the lines pur sued by the American Institution of Bank Clerks. , . - , ; Louis 8 Kerry, the New -York Restaurateur, Says It Is Not Abused. From the New York American. "We should he proud of the American so clety women instead of slandering them' " Thus did Louis Sherry-exclaim indignantly when asked about the statements made In Salt Lake City by Bronson Howard, the dramatist, who declared that the Women of the "Four Hundred" were becoming habitual drinkers, says the New York American. "I have better opportunity to observe them than most people, and I never see any drink ing such as Mr. Howard describes," icon Untied Mr. Sherry. rTake, for Instance, three recent events Baroness Belllieres dinner for her daughter, Miss Livermore; Mrs. Oelrich's dinner and Mrs. Astor's ball. There was scarcely any drinking among the women. I saw the glasses come out myself, and in eight out of twelve the wine was hardly touched. In public places there Is even lees drinking among the women. "Our women are more like the French women. As much as the French are talked about for their drinking, you seldom see the French Imbibing to any great extent. They drink the lightest sort p( wines, or else take coffee or tea only. 'In American restaurants drinking Is They take heavy drinks, like cocfctaUsi 'And. Insist th tne women arinic, .too. " Mrs. Russell Sage, when asked her opin ion of Bronson Howard's attack on the women of the "Four Hundred" for their drinking, said: "I don't associate with women who drink. There is a mistaken no tion as to what some people call the 'Four Hundred.' There are many different sets In the' society of New York. There may be some people who do countenance consider able drinking, but they could hardly be con sidered the real society of New York or of the nation." The President's Boyhood. :". From, the Cleveland Plain Dealer. : Sagamore Hill, the home of President Roosevelt at Oyster Bay, which has been the center of so much Interest during sev eral recent weeks, was left to its present owner by his father, Each, of the sons and daughters of the latter came into $400,000 from the estate of their parent, and Theo dore's portion has been increased since by $10,000 left him by an uncle. The president has made some money from his books, but the sum Is small In comparison to his ex penses. A New York business man who has per sonally known the president all his Use was telling of his boyhood. - . "When he Was about 10 years of age," he said, "there were three or four of us who were together most' of the time. Theo dore was one . of them, and another was Some Variety Theatre Jokes, Here are some echoes from Weberfleldlana, which give a very good idea Of what "Whoop-de-do in two whoops" is like. Ob serve:, "Are we gentlemen?" asks Weber. "Yes," replies Fields, "but one .of us ain't." Weber What deos It mean by "Amen?" Fields It's the end of a tiresome conver sat Ion. v , Fields has Invested some of Weber's money on the wrong Horse, '."Wheravar you put my money in,1' observes Weber, "you dlt it good. It didn't come out Weber Dlt you say this was the Insane river? Fields Yes. Same as in America we have the Misslssdippy. "An idea," observes Fields, philosophical ly, "is a sort of dream, only you don't wake up." . . .Weber Why am 'I n Insect? Fields because wherever you are yotl axe Here is a bit of Fields' philosophy: "A liar is a man whose Inside thinking does not agree with his outside speaking.' Pete.Dally There are two kinds of sports The Moral Is Plain. From the Pendleton East Oregonlan. The Portland plumbers have spent $3,000 during the past seven weeks fighting for a raise In wages from $4.50 to $5 per day. In this time they have lost $3,000 in wages through Idleness while the strike has been In progress, and now at the beginning of winter they go back to work for their old employers at $4.50 per day, the same Wages they were receiving before. The moral le plain. Their demand for $5 per day of eight hours' work was unreasonable and their de- Douglas Robinson, who was then courting Roosevelt's sister, and later married her. J u-the fellow who drink -And does not buy, est little women that ever uvea, ana wnen we were small boys she used to sit and tell us stories by the hour. She and the presi dent's first wife died on the same day, on Sunday, and their funerals were both- held on the Friday following. "When Theodore was a boy he was never Idle for a moment. I never knew a per son who was always so ready to do good to some one else.' Hto Industry, public spirit and absolute honesty and fearlessness were as marked characteristics of his youth as they are of his mature "manhood of today." , JAMES A. BAILEY PLANS A HOUSE. 1 The Home Newspaper for Results. " The newspaper that goes lntft" thS"home Is the one that brings results to the advertiser. The Journal Is the "home paper" of Portland of the Oregon country and that is why it Is the best medium considering the cost of' spacedfor profitable publicity. Cause to Envy Canada. From the Detroit Journal. - We may laugh at Windsor for closing her lice station at night, but we must envy er for the public probity that permits JL - " - feat not unexpected. The business of the country will not Justify any such wages, and tne quicker the working people learn this the better 1t will be for them. They have sunk $6,000 in cash and go back under very unpleasant conditions. It costs money t learn. Sorrows of the Poor Young Girl, From the Boston Globe,, The girl who has a stock half done reads with dismay In the fashion column that the stock is disappearing before the inroads of the linen collar. How It Happened. ." From Judge. Rooney Where did ye get th'black eye, Moike? j?.---" I--'" ,. Clancy Why, TlrnDolana" Just back from his honeymoon an 'tas m "dyjaad Jim git married- -u v,- 8howman Will Lay Out About $300,000 at Mount Vernon. , From the New York Sun. James A. Bailey of the Barnum-Bailey circus signed agreements yesterday for the erection of a $150,000 house and a $40,000 stable which are to go up this fall on the 40 acres purchased recently by him from the Glover estate, Mount Vernon, N. Y. The property Is on a high elevation" over-' looking the city, and has been used by the Siwanoy Golf Club for Its links. The house wjll be several times larger than any other dwelling in Mount Vernon, and when the grounds are completed the place will, have cost about $300,000. The house will have a frontage of 150 feet and will be of a Spanish style of architecture,. , ' ,, ' - ' William Archer of Mount Vernon, .who built the Criminal Courts building In New York, is the contractor. Work, on the house will" be begun within a few days, and Mr. Bailey expects to be living In it next summer. Cure for Homely Hat. . From the Syracuse Herald. ' Floorwalker I'm, very sorry, madam, but I can't exchange this hat for you. Mrs. Smithson But my husband doesn't like tfci. ;.'; : '. ' Vf,f T- Floorwalker Then I'd advise you to get a divorce, - '- :v ; . " . ' : .WeberrrWhen I. was young I was stuck on my voice. Fields Well, you were stuck bad Mann Is your friend Of a. suspicious na ture?- Fields Suspicious ? Why, he'd even test a golden opportunity with acid. Pete Dally to Evle Stetson The only way you'll get on the stage Is to throw your hat over the footlights and go after it. Dally , to Carter de Ha,ven The trouble with (hat story you ' triefl to tell Is that everybody knew; the point of It but you. j Miss Russell A musical comedy is a dis ease that breaks out In London and kills In New York. . ; f Reflections of a Bachelor. From the New York Press. Every time a person loses his temper he finds a lot of trouble. It's funny how little right married men have to the money they earn. The average girl has a sneaking longing for a photograph, of herself with nothing on but a big picture hat. Some men are so generous they give their wives liberal allowances and then win It back from them at poker, A woman gets as furious with the woman who won't admire her husband as she gets jealous of the one who does. 1 remember a lob that ha one untr. took the Job of cutting a sentence from Scripture over the door of a little stone church. The committeemen who Intrusted him with this Job didn't- comprehend his Childlike, unreflecting ''nature, or they wouldn't have" couched their order In the terms they dlL "They wanted, they said, the sentence. 'My house shall.be called a house of prayer.' He told them they had better write It down for, him. But they said It would only be necessary to write down the chapter and he could copy the sentence right out of the good book. "Well, our Lockport stonecutter copied the sentence, but he didn't end where he should have ended; he went right on to the sen tence's conclusion. The result was that the legend over the church door read: 'My house shall be called a house or prayer, but ye have made it den of thieves.' " r A Wise Father. From the New York Times. Everyone knjrws of the college student who, when he Ws "hard up," sent home a set of verses to which the governor replied In kind. The son penned: "The rose Is red, The violet blue, "-i- ' Send me fifty P. D. Q." This was the reply: "The rose Is red, 4 And sometimes pink; m send you fifty I don't think." Another father was looking over his son's account, when he discovered an Item he did not quite understand. "H m ! " herald. "Thirty dollars for ten nis. Isn't that rather a large sum for such a game? How do you explain It, sir?" 'Oh," replied the hopeful, carelessly wav ing his hand, "that was Just for a couple of rackets." ' Why not call them bats?" asked the knowing father. Her Degree of Courage. From the Kansas City Journal. Amle had been suffering from tooth ache for several days. At last she consented to go with her pap to the dentist. When she was starting, her mamma said: "Now, dearest, be a brave little girl. Show fortitude, and mamma, -will be proud of you." . In due time" Amie returned. "And did you how fortitude T mamma Inquired. i. Amie- hesitated. "It hurted awful, mam ma! I ''guess treflecUvely) I showed about twentytude." kV In Recent Novels. "Some people come-out .of a. bonk like a spaniel out of water, scattering a shower of Ideas over you." "Women's hearts never break nowadays; but, oh, how often they wither!" "Some men are born business-like, my dear, the same as they're born bowlegged." "To wear love's brand you must stand love's burn." Good men," she .once said, "are like good roads made to walk over." "It is a sorrowful day when the eyes et youth can gaze openly Into the eyes of defeat." "It Is the ebb tide of love that shows tho mud flats of the soul." "Great men are rugged and lonely, like lighthouses, and, like lighthouses, , they are yery useful." To a good many Americans a life of hurry is the only life of ease." That's Different. 1 z From the Boston Transcript. Aunt Jane They tell me you took $50 of Mr. Young's money at the card table " last night. I did not know that you ever gambled. Nephew That wasn't gambling, auntie. Young was quite elated at the hand he held,- and I bet with him merely to give him a lesson not to trust too much to appearances. Aunt Jane Oh, that was It, was It? I thought you wouldn't be so wicked as to gamble. ; They Quit Evenr ' . From Lippincott's Magazine. A red-headed man met a bald-headed man on the 'street one day. Thf-red-headed man 4 said to the bald-headed man: "Huh! There don't seem to have been "rhvuch hair where you came, from." "Oh, yes," replied the aid-headed man, "there was plenty of hair, but t was all red, and I wouldn't have it." ' " Wouldn't ItT h From f the4 Indianapolis Sentinel.- j A -Frenchmen -Js b cross the" ocean In an alrshloJ- That js, he says he is. Wouldn't It make professor Langley, mad If he dldt Song of the Governor of Qusm. From the New, York Herald. Salaam! Salaam I I'm the governor of Guam! am glorious and great, 'm a pampered potentate, So I am! I run things as I please Get down on your knees m the ruler of the tightest little Island in . the seas ' That's met -.' Those who do not like my sway I shut up or chase away; , ' I'm a wonder and J know It of the thirty- ,' , thlrd degree. ,.S""-V'; :;. J jy- j,;,; "jw - .-. - . Behold! .Behold! If "' .ill am iearles -and :mJsold; T'wi tfcA ffnv,inm,nt" tYia low! Kings refer to me with awe, . . So Fm told. j What I want I go and take, When I roar the windows break, When I shake my fists In anger "people stafttf" . '. around and quakeT ; . ' V A Salaam! : ,. V-.v-,"- f Here. In regal statavf sit tt $ fc"?-;. 't 4 -To-' be candid, I am. TSi-iiv7Mf.r Gernian Willie's ,not a marker to the gov . . ernor of Guam!. . : . . jo'.3ST -t ti ? ;