(I TIIE OKEGON DAILY JO UIWAL, 1 PORTLAND, WEDNESDAY EVENING, J ULY 8, .1003. EDITORjIcAL COoMcTWENT cAND TIV1ELY JL THE OREGON ; DAILY, JOURNAL ; BY ' a a jackson TOPICS Jfoutmaf A PERIPATETIC UNIVERSITY AROUND THE CORRIDORS JOURNAL PUBLISHING COMPANY, Proprietors. Address! THE OREGON DAILY JOURNAL, Fifth and Yamhill 8U Portland, Oft CITY OFFICIAL PAPER. AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER Entered at the Poatofflce of Portland, Oregon, tor transmlr:!on through the malls at ' second -cla. 4 matter. Postage for single copies For an 8, 10. or 12-page paper, 1 cent; IS to IS pages, 3 nts; ever it pagea, I cents. TELlZPHO-'VESi ' Business Office O: on. Main 600: Columbia, 706. Editorial Rooma Oregon Main 150. SUBSCRIPTION Terms by terrier. : The Dally Journal, one year $5.; . The Dally Journal, fix montha S.60 , The Dally Journal, three months 1.30 The Dally Journal, by the week 10 RATES I Terma by Mall. The Dally Journal, by mall, one year..$4.C9 The Dally Journal, by mail, six montha. 12S The Daily Journal, by mall, three montha l.JS The Dally Journal, by mall, one month, ,6ft The Semi-Weekly Journal. The Semi-Weekly Journal, eight to twelve pagea each Isaue. all the newa and full market re porta, one year $1.10. The Vfckly Journal. The Weekly Journal 100 columns of read ing each Issue, Illustrated, full market re ports, one year, 11.00. ordera and small Remittances should be made by drafts, postal notea, express amounts are acceptable in one and two-een t postage stamps. THE JOURNAL. P. O. Box 121, Portland. Oregon. Forgive and forget why the world would be lonely, The garden a wilderness left-to deform. " If the flowers but remembered the chilling winds only, And the fields gave no verdure for fear of the etorm. Charles Swain. OWE OF PORTLAND'S NEEDS. , One of Portland's great needs is an emergency hospital. Perhaps there is no Other city of equal else In the country, Cer tainly there la none on the coast, where there ! auch inadequate provision for "first aid" to persona who are Injured or suddenly stricken with illness, under circumstances re quiring the intervention of the municipal : authorities. It would require but! a email outlay to es tablish a amall emergency hospital, adequate for the temporary care ' of all such cases,. ' Under existing conditions, there Is no place for the reception of the Injured or the dy ing save the private hospitals, and much precious time la lost In transporting them thither. Common humanity demands that the city should provide, at aome central lo cation, an operating room and a ward, with skilled medical aid alwaya within reach, so . that the assistance that is given may not lose its efficacy by delay. The time thus saved would often result In the saving of life, for minutes are precloua in that clasa of . cases which an emergency hospital com monly recelvea. The need for such an Institution Is suf flciently evident already and it will become even more apparent as time passes and the city grqws. It will be an Imperative ne cessity two years hence, when the city la thronged with strangers and when accidents will be largely increased in number. of the Eastern papers and aerlously dis cussed. It would be unwise to conclude that auch a structure is Impossible, for en gineers and architects would doubtles be found to solve the problems which It presents. It Is probable, too, that there would be no difficulty In getting tenants, for office room in the skyscrapers of Eastern cities is always at a premium. But to the Westerner, unaccustomed to roost at such dizzy altitudes, there is a decided suggestion, of peril in climbing above the clouds for the dally transaction of hia business. The enormous-congestion of commerce in the lower end of Manhattan Island has been gradually and Inevitably forcing the city skyward, and 20-story buildings are now so common that It needs no ungovernable Imagination to fancy them doubled In height But residents of less crowded cities may congratulate themselves that they are still able to keep within hailing distance of terra firms, and that they do not need an airship or a balloon to reach their office when the elevator boy goes on strike. A-FALSE DEDUCTION. Because the report of the Secretary of th Treasury for the fiscal year just ended shows a surplus revenue collected during the year of 163,000,000, many Republican papers are Insisting that the country's financial condi tion is all that can be desired, and that the ' policy of maintaining the present scale of tariff duties is amply vindicated. The argu ment Is shallow and misleading. - It Is obvious that the government' la col lecting annually an immense sum in cus toms duties that is not needed for either pro tection or revenue. It is a tariff for monop oly only, a mere shelter for the trusts, as the Iowa revisionists truthfully declared. The wage-earners of the country are being taxed in .order to swell the profits of these huge corporations, and the proceeds of the tax are being piled up in the government vaults, a constant temptation to wasteful and unnecessary appropriations. The huge surplus which Is being accumulated belongs of right In the pockets of the men who earned It and not In the United States treasury. Just so long as the national revenues ex ceed requirements, extravagance and cor ruption may Be expected in the administra tion of the country's affairs. The remedy and the only remedy lies In the revision of the, tariff thereby at the same time placing so effective check upon those financial mon strosities, the trusts. TOO MUCH CELEBRATION The fact can no longer be disguised that our venerable morning contemporary did too much "celebrating" on the Fourth. This is the only charitable explanation of the symptoms which have been so painfully in evidence ever since the racket and roar sub sided. No other diagnosis explains the savage misanthropy of its comments "the day after," upon the "American hog," nor the pessimism which led it to conclude even 48 hours after the celebration waa all over, that the country Is going to the dogs. Our con temporary's head must have been aching still when it reached the conclusion that "as a great national holiday, instinct with the vital spark of patriotism, the day (Fourth of July) exists no longer." It was that linger ing dark brown taste which made the oc casion seem In the retrospect "the noisiest and most annoying observance of the Fourth of July In the history of this city." No doubt this dyspeptic 111 humor will dis appear in the course of a few days. It is but a passing malady and should serve as a reminder that the sports and enjoyments of the young are not for one of such Jaundiced temper as our venerable contemporary. Governor Cummins claims that the Iowa platform is a triumph for the revisionists. Roosevelt Republicans call It a victory for the "standpatters." To the outsider It looks like a contemptible surrender by both fac tlona for the unworthy purpose of catching votes. , A blue-goggled, bald-headed man, with heavily subsidised rum canals lining his face, entered the lobby, and, after casing around for a few momenta as If In search of some one, took the chair next to the man with the red four-in-hand background to bis four-caret scarf pin. ' . , ": "Salesman?" he asked after a suitable pause. ; . "Tea, shoes. What's your line V - v- ;. For answer the man with the blue goggles passed over a card bearing the simple legend "Marklngham University." , , "Ah," said the shoe salesman, with a polite show of interest. "So you're connected . wlth--er Marklngham University?" , ";, " ;T "Connected with It? Well, rather! Why, I'm It; I am Marklngham University, , "I don't mind telling you, this, sir, for I flatter myself that I havs never mads a mistake in reading character, and I can see at a glance that you are a man who caji fully appreciate this latest great stride forward In the march of educational progress. "As at least a first lieutenant of industry, sir, you undoubtedly realise ths enormous advantages to be derived from consolidation. Railroad units, steamship units, In fact the units of almost every form of commercial Industry are dally being combined, with equal benefit to employer, employe and patron Or conaumer. "This being the case, sir, why should education be left to lumber along In Its old fashioned, cumbersome way? Why shouldn't learning cast off Its former unwleldly organisation and reap the harvest that invariably takes root In any Intelligent com blnatlon? "There Is no reason. For proof of my statement look at me. 'In me you behold the ideal of a consolidated educational Institution. I, sir, am Marklngham University!" . " Marklngham University leaned back to observe the effect of his words. The effect seemed good. "Here," he continued, drawing a circular from his pockety "this little pamphlet will give you a fair Idea of our university of me, that is, In my broadest sense." The footwear exponent started to peruse the pamphlet. "Where Is your university situated?" he asked. "Right next to you at present. In other words I am It, and wherever I am. It Is." '"But this thing speaks of the large undergraduate body. Surely you" "Yes, I'm the undergraduate body. And while I'm not an enormous map, Tin not, what you'd call a small body, by any means." "But then, who comprise the faculty? It says here that the members of the various faculties, having received their education and training in various parts of the world, are fully competent to' " ' "Quite true, quite true," interposed the University. "I.as the undergraduate body, am in full possession of all my faculties, and have trained them all over the world. "My early experience as a bookmaker in California eminently fits me for the duties of professor of literature. The few years I put In studying probability and chance at Saratoga have been an incalculable help to me during my Incumbency of the chair of mathematics. "My drink-mixing experience In Chicago helps me wonderfully In the demonstra tion of practical chemistry, while as' for my six-months' course In philosophy at El mlra but I could go on Indefinitely. "What I particularly wanted to call your attention to in our little circular is our cor respondence school for business men, with examinations either oral or by mall. "Take your own case, for example. You haven't time to put in four years in a resident college, and yet think of what a great aid to you in your business It would be to have a B. Ch. from Marklngham. People who wouldn't think of buying shoes front an ordinary salesman would Jump at the chance of making a purchase from a' full- fledged bachelor of chiropody." , "Yes," objected the shoeseller, "but you see " "Tut, tut, man!" the University hastily assured him. "Of course, you could pass the examinations. I can tell a man by his face and conversation. Why, I wouldn't Insult my Judgment of character by even asking you to take them. "Fifteen dollars merely to' cover the cost of engraving, and I can give you a B. Ch. diploma that will meet with recognition from scholars the world over. Or, better still, call It $20, and I'll make yau a M. Ch. Master of Chiropody. An M. Ch. degree that covers courses in both feet. Think of the prestige that that carries." The boot purveyor overcame whatever thirst for knowledge he had and shook his head. "Well, I'm sorry," sighed Marklngham University. "There's nothing I'd like better than to be an Alma Mater to you, but, of course, if goodness mel I had no Idea It was so late. The university holds ita commencement at 8 o'clock and It's almost 8 now. "Can't I persuade you to attend our graduating exercises? It's Just a few steps, over in the bar. I'm, sure you'll be Interested In our old college customs the passing of the loving cup, extemporaneous speaking, the repassing of the loving cup, the col lege cheers, the passing back of the loving cup, and the singing of the old college songs by the entire undergraduate body and his guests. I'd like to have you see what a strong college spirit old Marklngham really has." To this the shoeman had no objection. As soon as he had fallen In line behind the undergraduate body (consolidated) the academic procession started solemnly toward the bar. At a late hour that night the drummer began to have a different Idea about Mark lngham University. He much more fully appreciated the great advantages possessed by. a holder of an M. Ch., or even a B. Ch., degree. In fact, he then would Have gladly accepted either one of them, but by that time the Marklngham University undergraduate body had completely lost possession of its faculties, happy and otherwise, and there was no one present with power to bestow degrees. "Over In my town." said O.' N. Taylor of animal product from the Union Meat Corn New York, at the Perkins last night, "we are pany of this city and a specimen of vetch, a accustomed to seeing a goat occasionally, forage plant much resembling alfalfa, but . out here the oldest Inhabitant can "I find the . country rapidly filling with scarcely refrain from noting the fewness of settlers," said Mr, Le Roy, "and they are all butters. The fact is that here two would delighted with their new homes and many ' be too many. There may be some in hiding, are urging friends In the East to come to but my residence of five days tends to show Oregon.", One thing that pleased .me was the that the visible supply is several heads interest the people of the state are taking In short. The only head I have seen was a the Bureau of Information and the hearty regulation goat that possessed all the follies co-operation I am receiving. Every one de and cussedness of his ancestors and yet his sires to see the state prosper, and that Is title was simply 'Bill.' But 'Bill' was big the ' spirit that ;wlll make It forge to the enough for him, for he was not from Mis- front." ,,'.'., f souri and he did not have to be shown and Mr. Le Roy Showed a pile of periodicals his life was short. In his way he. was a good from all parts of the state, remarking: 'The', goat, but he weighed a great deal, as I newspapers are giving me lots of help and the bureau is on the free list of all these. "All the grains on the walls and the fruits are home grown, from seeds collected from all parts of the globe. It Just shows what the Oregon climate will do." ' ' Here is one J. P. Jaeger, of this city, tells on Nat Goodwin; Several years ago."' Mr. learned when I crossed Front street one afternoon. I also learned that he consumed all the showbills near the terminal round house, and he fought several bull pups, and generally won the scrap. After that I al ways Inquired as to his whereabouts when business called me to Front street, but I did not see 'Bill' again until one morning when a team trotted down with a wagon full Jaegar was visiting in Brooklyn, N Y, and of furniture behind It. In the rear waa a goodly-sized mirror and 'BUI' spotted him self In the glass. Well, he did not do a thing to that image.- He Just sang "What a Gathering There Will Be Bye and Bye,' and he leaped on the wagon. The team trotted one night thought he. would go to the thea tre and see the late Stuart Robson as "Bertie the Lamb" In the "Henrietta." It so hap pened that Actor Nat arrived In the city that very day, and he, too, decided to wander around and see his friend Stuart cut up on and when the Alblna ferry was reached the stage. But before going to the play on the wagon carried not only its original load. but also a goat. Somebody lost a mirror by the escapade of the animal, but the teamster owna the goat, the only one I have seen In Portland." Harry E. Bickers, superintendent of the house. Brother Ooodwin began to imbibe quite freely of the colored liquid that en tangleth, and by the time he reached the theatre his every sail waa In the wind. He waltsed up to the stage entrance and sail! in; Robaon was the only one before the foot lights and he was making some heart-break nm i state reform school, came down from Salem tng talk to the multitude gathered before 'V yesterday afternoon and was at the Perkins for a few hours. In speaking of the work of the school, Mr. Bickers said a great deal of good has been accomplished. There are now about 120 boys under hla charge and all of them are fitting themselves for a re spectable life. Of the numerous graduates of the past, 15 or 20 who were noted as hard cases when they were sent to the school, are doing well. . "Nearly all of these were committed from Portland and they came back here to make amends for their previous bad life. I hear from them very often, for theyvapparently like to let me know of their doings. It seems strange that the boys. Just as soon aa they leave the school, should come to Port land or some other large city to seek their fortunes. I have never asked them their reasons for overlooking chances in the towns, but I suppose they want to keep away from small settlements whtre there might be too close an inquiry made into their past and where it would be hard for them to get work." him. Onto the stage marches Nat; walking straight up to the acting actor, he slaps him in the amall of the back and sings out: "Hello, old (hie) man! How do (hie) you stack up?" But the greeting did not seem to phase Robson In the least. He gently led his gushing friend out of sight, and returned to his talk again as though nothing had hap pened. The audience did not realise what a foolish thing had been done by the some times called "Naughty .Nat" until the next morning. . Several nights afterward, when Goodwin's amusement foundry was In good working order, Robson perfectly sober, strolled on the stage when Nat was there thinking him self all alone; Stuart walked up and gave him a 38-degree greeting. The audience caught on In a minute and Justly roared. But Nat was somewhat rattled. Nearly every man connected .with Portland: shlDDlns knows Angus Gor. He Is known as a Mike Hollaran, from up Vancouver way, came to town on the Foruth of this month, having In an inside pocket of his vest Just three $100 bills, crisp and clean. Now, Mike la a rancher, but he failed to put-up at a "leading hotel." He became entangled In Jolly, good fellow, and has many friends who the meshes of the throbbing metropolis, and TWO KI8SE8 AND ONE DOLLAR. On the Kronprlnz Wllhelm, one moonlight May night, a young man and a girl were discovered making love. The news of this discovery spread among the passengers, and many a Joke was cracked. But Senator N. B. Scott of West Virginia said in the smoking room: "' . "There is nothing to laugh at here. Innocent lovemaklng la natural In the youhg. This fact was well brought out by an adventure that happened to a friend of mine years ago in the mountains of West Virginia. "The young man was hunting. He came to a lonely cabin, and, being thirsty, he knocked at the door for a drink. The drink was handed to him by a girl so charming that, with a smile, he said: " 'Would you be angry if I should offer you a dollar for a kiss? " No, sir," the girl answered, with a little blush. "So my friend took the kiss and then lie-gave the maiden the dollar. She balanced It In her hand a moment. She knitted her pretty brows In perplexity. " 'What,' she asked, 'shall I do with all this money?" " "Why, anything you please my dear,' said my friend. " 'Then,' she murmured, 'I think I'll give It back to you, and take another kiss. " Kansas City Journal. THE COUNTY'S TAX SALE The sale of tax sale certificates by the county, now In progress, is producing some very gratifying results. The certificates sold thus far have Tealized far more than they originally cost the county, in some cases bringing 15 or 20 times the amount Of the county's claim. While this ratio will not, Of course, be maintained throughout the sale, It seems evident that the county w4U realize handsome , sum in the aggregate. The generous prices thus far paid by pur Chasers suggest speculation as "to the amount realized from those tax certificates which were turned over to W. F. Whits The bank asserted. In its petition, that the cer tificates were "of no value, but this ap praisal seems to have been slightly, inac curate. Recent developments lead to the be lief that the certificates acquired by White or the bank were worth far more than their face. , A New York chorus girl whose part re quired . her . to stand on her head for Jive minutes every evening, is threatened with insanity, her brain being affected. The manager of the theatre Is now seeking a girl without brains, but 'thus far he has had singular HI success In his search. If a Rip Van Winkle slumber should steal over PostmaBter-General Payne In the Catskllls, where he is spending his vaca tion, the postal Investigation would probably go on just as well as If he were back at his desk In Washington. ' TROLLEYINQ FOR PLEA8URE. Eastern New England Is fairly netted with electric lines. The bell clangs and the air-whistle blows from Boston to New York. A line is planned from Springfield across the Berkshire Hills to connect with AlbjJiyj,andso on througJNew-JYorkJtatej-J where, the open links are rapid closed. Across Ohio the connection is complete, while Indiana and Michigan are pushing their roads in every direction at the rate of many miles a day. Pennsylvania, too, is becoming a trolley state, and I must not forget New Jersey, almost every portion of which is accessible by electric lines. The trolley salesmen, the trolley traveler and the trolley explorer are abroad in force. Therefore let me repeat, that for local travel, for pleasure touring, for genuine, thorough, cheap and ir responsible recreation, the trolley Is certainly the thing. Albert BIgelow Paine, in the World's Work. . N know that at one time he was very fond of cooked rat. In his balmy kidhood days, Angus was a sailor bold before the bloom in' mast. Once, while on a British lime-Juicer laying at Havre, Franoc. the captain asked him to go ashore and take dinner with him; this was a queer thing for a skipper to do, but queerer things were to happen later. They found a cafe that looked good, and so Vancouver way, they sailed in. (This yarn is true, because Mr. Gor told It hlrhself.) As neither of the tars could sabe French, they Just pointed to a few things on the menu which were promptly brought . In. , There was a certain dish of meat that was more than enjoyed by the sailors. They could not tell whether it was fresh pork or salted cod-fish, but they knew it was good. After they had eaten all of It, and smacked their lips many times during the feast, a friend happened by who could talk French. He was asked to find out the kind -of meat that had been so enjoyable. He found out The dish was fricasseed rat. A smiling, prosperous country, filled with contented settlers, its grain fields heavy and its orchards groaning with the weight of their fruits is the report that A. Le Roy of the Oregon Information Bureau brings back to Portland after a trip through the eastern and southern part of the state. Hops, owing to the late season, are not doing as well on the east side of the district, Mr. Le Roy re ported, but, he declared,' the, crop on the west side was all that could be desired. Mr. Le Roy will report to the Oregon In- formafibh Board at before he knew it, two of the $100 bills had taken their flight from his pocket into some one's else. How It" was done, Mike does not know, but that it was, he does know. He reported the matter to the police, but they were shy on advice or explanations as to the solution of the strange case. Mike went back home, feeling sorry, as he Journeyed up A carpet cleaning In the San Francisco mint resulted In the saving of $9,000 in gold dust. The house-cleaning in Multnomah County promises to give even better results. . GENUINE SKYSCRAPER 1 The assertion that New York capitalists ' are planning the erection of a 45-story build Ing, to cost $50,000,000, sounds very like one of the perennial jokes on the subject of tall Vbtjll dings, but It Is given credence by some President Roosevelt's hesitation about forwarding that petition to the Czar, strongly suggests that he Is ready to cut and run as soon as he gets It in the letter box. The University of Chicago has modestly asked Mr. Rockefeller for an additional $6,000,000. It doubtless foreshadows another advance In the price of kerosene. It takes a new broom to sweep clean and the Postofflce Department will never be thoroughly purified until Mr. Payne steps down and out. Happily General Funston's fame does not rest solely upon the fact that a new brand of whisky has been named after him. ' OUT OF PROPORTION. Rear Admiral Coghlan, while In the Northwest, had many encounters with men of more brawny strength and girth, perhaps, than brain and refinement. One of this type had an argument with Coghlan over a sailor the rear admiral had forgiven for some small offense. "My opinion Is worth something, Blr," said the man of brawn. "I'm a self-made man, and I'll " ' , ... "Humph," Interrupted Coghlan, as he' looked him over. "Maybe so, but, ray friend, haven't you spent more time on the banquet hall than the attic?" New York Times. a meeilng- Thursday evening and expects to leave immediately after for another visit to outside points in the state. He brought back a great many articles for his exhibit at the Union Depot and others will be recelvedj within a few days. Some of the new exhibits comprise woolen fabrics from the mills at Brownsville; a col lection of native woods from all portions of the commonwealth; some fine specimens of minerals from Josephine bounty, Including a piece of white marble; fruits from Ashland; Mr. R. C. Jennings, who comes from Evansville, Ind., where he made his home for many years, and the stories of the race riots there, that resulted yesterday In a bat tle between the mob and the sqldlers, are of vital Interest to him. "There Is a vast difference between the blacks of the North and the South," he said; "and that brings about trouble. Up here, they dress as well as the whites and have about the same liberties. When the North ern negro goes South, where the colored pop ulation is kept in a strata of its own. he breeds dlicontent, some luckless colored- Southerner attempts to Imitate his Independ em. airs anu as a result ne generally man- ft ages to in-uu some oi jne wniies ana irouDie follows. In late years these little thtngV have kept portions of the two calsses con tinually on an edge, as It were." '" There Is a stuffed Bengal tiger on the lower floor of the city hall, screened back of the stairway railing to represent an animal caged, and so realistic is the deception that a pirtectly sober person might be pardoned for "feeling chilly" when coming suddenly face - A MA I I to face with the ferocious wide-open Jaws and glaring eyes. An Unsophisticated maid "frum down Squashvllle way" was viewing the sights of the metropolis yesterday and wandered Into the free museum. She sud denly found herself staring Into the den of the tiger. The taxidermist had done his work well. With a scream that could have been hea-d several blocks, she ran for thn door and it was thought for a time that murder was being done. "Country peoplev said a bystander, "want to h careful nf fh tiger." - V NO COMPARISON WHATEVER. An exchange wants to know what would , be thought of a man who would have his pants made from 16 to 20 Inches too long for his legs and then go around holding them up to keep them from trailing in the muddy filth. He would probably be con sidered crazy. But where does the comparison come In? I don't know of any women who do this. Pecan Gap. , - REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. If burglars were women, the best watch-dogs would be mice. A woman wants to go to weddings the way a man wants to go to Congress. A young man married may be a young man married, but a young man unmarried Is a broken plaything for alt womanhood. When a woman is not on good terms with her-husband she has an idea that the only reason he doesn't get rich is to keep her from having all the things she desires. New York Press. .. ' ' .' . - - ' . . New York City will no longer take her refuse to sea and dump It. but will make It into briquettes with a bituminous flux, which wUl probably he burned In a munlclppr jjgnung piant. , . . . " . . v . , ,. f JUST FOR FUN. The old Mother Hubbard Lay In the cupboard , And stifled a dreadful moan; It had gone out of style" And for quite a long while Its owner had let It alone. v Baltimore American. Will She takes a very small shoe, doesn't she? Nell Oh, yes. . Will What size? -Nell Two sizes smaller than her foot Philadelphia Ledger. No, Maud, dear; we bave never heard that camphor would keep moths out of fir trees. Philadelphia Record. - - Caddie Na, jia, he canna' play. ' But hech, mon, his swearing's Just ' heavenly! John Bull. f- DOCTOR OR UNDERTAKER. First Wall-street Patient Cheer up! I know, we're all pretty sick; but the doctor is oecona- .wan-sireet jfatient You mean Morgan? I'm not sure whether he Is the doctor or the undertaker. New YorkEven Jng Post. "If every day Is to be Sunday byndTy. it will be mighty hard on some people." "Who, for Instance V "Well, the men who run picnic trains among others." Chicago Poet.- The proportion of water in a child at Mwii Is 75 per cent; in. thadult 68 per cent. New York City has more Jews Jerusalem and London together. than The minimum rainfall at which trees will J' grow is 20 Inches.'' . ; .: ; .. '" , . " . ' ! b Mi