The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972, June 19, 1903, Page 14, Image 14

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    .
i
tyf 1 , SO EAST,
GETTING SOLID WITH THE OLD MAN.
& - Off
MHHMHB .....
Mr. Grouoh "No washing don yt
and all tb family away!
Slably "Now, I'll please her father by showing him
one of my clever card tricks.
JiMMi I
CLEAB UNDERSTANDING.
"You hold the pack, air, and I will strike it a amart
blow, leaving in your hand only the card which you
have selected !"
(Ulfft)
Her rather Tin glad you ehowed your trua colors,
yount man. Ton bet no assassin ain't goln' to marry
lata tola family I"
THOSE LOVEMAXINO CLASSES WOULD BE EAST-
CAUGHT.
JOUBNALISTIO INNOVATION.
"Ha, bat ril ahow 'em how easy
domestlo work la if one has brains.
TTowf That watera scalding!
"Ouch I This wringer la aa infernal
machine!"
(Br-rr-rrrl)
Hamlet "Before I proceed with my
celebrated soliloquy Just lemme re
mark that If any rent tosses an egg
this way I'll nail him with the skull."
L - " 1 ' ",m,,L 1 1 1
saps.
I , " IfiToNT IIDonT KMttu . i incycHMiNiri
Mrs. Lover "Oh how mmA I am i
aee you, my dear John'a own mother!
And let's aurorise him. You ahall
cook dinner!"
Towser -Too don't aeem worried
about baring to wear that heavy steol
muisle."
Tlaer "I guess not Aa long aa I
bar tbla on the women can't kiss me."
With the aaslstane of the coeds.
ANOTHER TESTIMONIAL.
ANT IMPROVEMENT WELCOME.
Dins "I aee Orabba. the defeated
aldermante candidate, haa taken to
crib cracking."
Bias; "Well, I'm glad be has some
conscience."
can
O'Reels "This Joint sticks like glue! Come help me.
w't you. wifef
UNPLEASANT POLITENESS.
Mrs. O'Reels "Hold on a minute. I'll fix ltl
Mr. Swsmply "Bai Jove, there's Miss
Grace, yonder! Now for
"There' nothing else for it, I must
get downtown somehow. '"
NATURALLY.
"There, I knew Rlckett's rheumatism remedy'd loosen
its joints!"
USED TO BOUGH TREATMENT.
Walll "Why, grandpa's snorln't
Mr. Lorey "Call this fit to eat?
Say, you ought to have seen my moth
er cook I"
Bl "I hear ye bad a rough time brlngtn the new
Holsteln critter from town. B'lleve he rolled ye all
raound the cattle car'"
Hi "Yea, bu I didn't rnnd it. Ve see, I'd been bruehed
by the Pullman porter on my way in."
.1
"Guess I H fool W
Grandpa "Wal, wonder what patent
medicine dope that poor little cuss haa
been swlggln'T"
BEJINED CRUELTT.
And then they told him.
QUICK WOBK.
HAND OF BUIN.
UUt-AAAJUUUUi-iL
BSSSffiBIHMBJSa
IT V 7
Prof. Flipper "I'm sure I aaw a rare
dufllckua geewhlzzer just ahead there!
Boss (to office boy)" 'Go to the
ball game'? Not much, my aon. I'm
going myself! It will be the hottest
old gam of the season, and you'd bet
ter stay right her and If anybody
calls tell him I've gone to my grand
mother's funeral."-
Father "Yes, dear, that la the bona 'that grandpa
used to live in."
Tot "But there Is no roof on it."
Father "No; you aee grandpa had such a large
family that he used all the shingles spanking the children."
ANXIOUS TO PLEASE.
"Aha! X bar ltl My own! My
own!"
THE MAN WHO MEANT WELL.
First Phot ogtapher "How did you
get along In London I"
Second Photographer "No good.
Plates were always getting fogged."
EVIDENT.
9
Farmer Snlpemarsh "What'a the
matter with old bossy T"
Hi Jinks "Oh, ahe's Jest board that
tb summer boarders are coming and
she's gone to the crick to see if her
bonis are on straight"
GETTING EVEN.
Miss Oldish "Ob. sir. tbla is so sud
dnl-
I4 w ,
1
"Bow!"
Hostess "Mr. DabMu, weald row kindly wot
some coal oil th flrof
Hr. Dobbin (atartlnar anddenly) "Wnr .
"floral"
Taacher "Don't yon knew tbat pun
tsation meana that yon moat pausT"
Lemuel "Course I Aa. An auto fal
ter punctuated his tife In front of osr
bouse Straday nd he paoaed two boors."
Aggrlered Actor "Was tbat a bias,
mlsur. or is it only a punotured tire
on ono of them wheels la your bead?"
f
4
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