. I . - " 'J. " . , ' t I . ' ' A i ' " V ,i v , - ;'.('''' ' ; . ... .-. . ' WAWTS BUTPwaa. a NO HOW. , ' i i - i. -I'-: ' f Nifty Nugfnt "hone woman an' no dorgt No dorgt Ah dat'a eoineptn' like! Dorgs li de cuas of dis per fusion! DU la da. place Ur me, cuj da alien ae 'No dora!' No dorg! , "Ha ha' See de proud conferdence wld wlch I atrolla up lo'de door! I'll take charge hert fer awhile! No dorg! Ha, ha!" Mme. Zara (the animal trainer) "Heer, Roltot Hear, Tlgert Leef ae poor man! Do not aqueeze him to death! No, no! Come back, chll-l-ldren!" Nlfty-"Ah. dore you U! Da tiger, do bear, da snake an' all de raatl But dara ain't no .dorgl No dorg I Ha-ha, ha-a-a-al" WEIGHTY. Balloonist "Dear mat The old 0kr ainktaf fMtf (Crania, gurgle, gwglaO 1 KNEW WHAT HE WAS ABOUT. Km Kaane "Oh. how nice of you, dear, to more mamma'a portrait flrat of 11!" SUGGESTION FOB NEXT ABBOB DAY. MATTERS FOB EXPEBT. Tanky Thompaon "Could you lupply Jfk poor man 'a wanta. ladyT"- T V Mra. 8 mart 'Sural I'll girt rou U, beat I hayel" Houae Owner "8U11, It doean't aeom to ma that It ought to coat ao much to paint the houae." Painter "Pardon me, but you're no Judge. I might aay the aame about your noee." JU8T AS BAB. riant rooa where they will be ef aoaae vae mm placet ef refes. FATAL WEALTH. Keen "Great echemel 111 hang It right up In the new houae and acare away the ratal" - THERE ABE TIMES. "I know what aunk me I Twaa tbia awfully heayy atoryr HE DID NT MIND, Button (western total) -"That ten derfoot aaya ycu ar tarring hlxn In thla blamed hotel." Proprietor (furtoualyj 'Tell Mm, ,ni make him eat hie words." Button "I did, air, and he said they would be better than nothing." SOME HOPS. :.20tf; VKrtlm (faintly) -W-wbat ta ftT Byataader "Way, maa, you're been run over by a steam roll an i Victim "Thank goodsesal I thought It was a raolng automobile." GOOD BUSINESS. 1 ' 4 The Ijadr "Dont yon regret not bar ing a home of your own?" Sandy Pikes "Yea, always except at house-cleaning time." EXTRA. R Haydust "I paid ye 111 That's 11 eent fur the drink an' 86 cents change, Where's the B5 cents" Barkeep "Owanl t charge that fur de kntfekout drops." SURPRISING. Hippo (aside) "Walt till he's won a few more cocoa nuts and then giro the table a Jog." HUBh!" : .... -.v Chatters "Help! Murderll Foul play!!!" EXPENSIVE LUXURY. Mrs. Trickier "Tu dont lore, me any morej you harent asked ma why I am crying." Mr. Trickier "I'ra had to ult that habit i it costs too much." '" CARNTVOROUS. Toy Horse "It erer I get back Into the toyshop again I shall stipulate that I be sold to a regetarian family." ... Toy Cow "Indeed?" Toy Horse "Yesi that baby la eating me up." UNPAIB. Dachshund (at Kennel Athletic olnb "Here, reteree, put him on stilts or the fights effr PABTNXBSHXP. WZAX REVENGE. IV Stroller "It's wicked to kill. Why don't yon simply take a walk, as I do?" Boy "Dat'a killln' time." - 1 4- ' NERVE. Mrs. Sklnnem "My uncle la a rich tannen he In vented a process of toughening leather." Mr. Hallrume "Did he keep a boarding house, tool" FALSE A T.A Tt.Hff- Heary rotce outside i "Are you reading "Dead wood Dick,' HankT" . Hank "Y y yes, dad, but dont lick me, ptoaaot I xut Heary roloe outside i" "Lick no thin' I I wanter read It myself." OBEDIENCE. OaptalB (to awkward squad) M 'Tenstual WmU lat" , Blllynna "You dont look like a man who would erer amount to much.' Applicant for Job "Oh. X dunno. Look at yon. You rose." PINE POINT. Miss Worry "That man seems to be ailing." . BxperW'Ale nuttto', mum! Dat'a beer!" SWEET YOUHQ TSX1TOS. Mlas Trunkfoid'That hnpndent MP. Tuskley insinuated that I'm 104 yeara old, whan srerybody knows Tm Juat M LABGariTB. Tanky Thompson "Dls is greatl Prob'ly it'll be turkey an' flxln's! Say, de ladies knows me style, bey?" a Mrs. Smart "These two tracts are on the subject of the demon drink, the rest are on industry. They are the very belt published." ONWARD AND UPWARD. Cyrus "8o yeour boy Zeke went to college. Do him any good!" . ... Silas "Should aay so.- Before he left he used to smoke cigarettes, but now bo smokes a pipe." TIMES AND SEASONS. QulDleV "Oh. such a funny thing! Really, I must tell Jones, yonaer. -' TtsteB Hto thisl -It'll Juat make laugh till you Jones "Say, aay maa who 11 laugh a that stuff wants a surgical operation or hi brain, airi on in Drain i" to ooanr. v ! 17' it