hi
V TILE OBEGON DAILY JOUBNAlj, POHTLA3TD SATUBDAY : EVENTNG, ? AUGUST 30, 1902;
:;The Oregon Daily Journal.
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The Eaetern representative of this paper 1b Albert E. Hasbrook,
tl Times Building, New York, and Hartford Building, Chicago.
' " When you leave the city or change your address even for one week, don't
fall to call at the business office and leave your order for The Oregon Daily
journal. ' . ' . ?
r "Am I tar brother' keeper?"
i ' To the Young Men of Portland Are you doing anything to contribute to thei
fwork pt making the world better7 Are you affiliating with the Y. M. C. A.J
f' mnn church., soma organization that makes for per-
sonal righteousness, or some Institution that has as
lis distinct object the curing of in and the bringing
of higher life? During the week that has Just, passed'
toavs vnu Derfornied one act. taken part liu one move-l
1 Sneht been a factor in one effort that has lightened the days for some of those
' . .. . . . . . .'m: -i ? t ' f
- A SATUEDAY
EVENING SERMON,
People In the world who need assistance' from ethersT 1 'J
R?,a't rest on the fallacy that you can care for youraulf. and that, therefore,
ethers may do the same. Don't fall Into the error that you are independent;
''that you'll look after No. L and that No. 2 can look after himself.
t Your are 1 part of a social organism, a member of a body, and you are what
you arenas much by reason of causes operative outside of yourself, as by reason
' "Of your ownettorts and .Impulses. You have received a wonderful .heritage from
the past, from, gteua, parents, from the philosophers, from the philanthropists,
; : t from the soldiers, from the authors, from the educators, ""from all who have
Wrought for the upbuilding of the human race, - .
You., ere one of the heir of a rich legaty that has been given to the, world by.
j "ten who did not hold to the erjponeous doctrine that every mart, should fee law
junto himself, and who, therefore, "went to work to Justify their existence by ex-;
pending time and. thought for' the od of others, ' ; ! ' "'
There ha never been a time when'soclety coulj get along without the maW or
.woman who thought about others. , - . fj-. ,J
f Agalry selflshness will not broaden and deepen yomveharacter, will not epvata
L your thought, Will ,110 refine .you, nor win It bring yourH,,o.ttrr-4van approxi-'
cnation-of the one man who stands as the world's greatest exemplar oT alt that
. vsome who understood .not the spirit of "Old Timer,,; the'young .man who -la not
an old timer, and who, perhaps,, does ..not PPveaskte4he,effeoi.ia musings
would produce npon the mlndaof the heroes of the-Weetr'' i -:r " , - ':
Let us honor' the pioneers. Let , ps revere -those who .came before ut In this;
great West. JLet us fall not to respect hebrave hifssho were" not daunted f
by. the perils of savagery, , and THiose vision was co:eiten)!ve with .the poaaiblll-t
Ues of their duy. Tliy were trwe 8tatesmen,,'whose thought went put to the fu-
wno aeiermineu mi mc w u fueiuui 01 aiujiiniRg tnat luiure s
llintrv fit ours. r . . . ' V ' "
ture, and
for ttye country, ot o.urs,
It is asserted that President Roosevelt Intend to jrlslr-the Padflc Coast this;
all. If he -oees so, he will pass through Portland,. . He should be given a wel-;
le that will leave him Pleasant memories of the metropolis of Oregon. Indeed,
come
GIVE-fflH;
A ROYAL '
WELCOME.
it is not to be doubtedtbat he will receive such a wel- S
come, if, in the event Jt 'be definitely announced that j
he ; w ill come,
preparation are made with sufficient
elaboration. - It behoove the City of Portland to fceep
close watch upon the plan of tie President, and permit
no time to elapse after the visit becomes a promised fact before matters are under ;
' way for the moat fnthuslastlo reception that ever a man was given by thejpeojile.'
of this-city and state. Thus early, even before It is knownwhether or not", he Is
coming, TSe Journal has pleasure in extending to ib -nation's Chief Magistrate
the frcedum of the City of Rorcb, und in so doing, U assured that it but to :
voice the sentiments of every person here". ' , . '
The dispatches cToncernlnp: tho Russland,
P. C, lire, said: "In 20 minutes from the
ili-st outbreak, the tire had spread north
to the Anaconda saloon, -west to the M. &
M. suloon, and south to the Coeur dAlene
saloon." As to the saloon on the east
thai the tlru Hend reached in Its liquor
consuming sweep, we are left In painful
and anxious Ignorance.
The Dalles Chronicle threatens- to send
a re'portt r to every charch In that city to
give the numbers attending. If the re
porter stay during services, the pastors
will each think there has been a great
religious awakening, something The
Dalles certainly neds, but It might be,
better to' send the reporters' salaries to
the heathens.
si-
, ".' i ,- a
' Ton have missed most of jour life, If you have not learned the deep satls
faction resultant from a, knowledge that you have fllghtened a burden, elped-
etrer rough place, conveyed past a danger point seme hjumawelng whiiwaj
sorely tempted ajid.tr led. and might have fallen ha4(H yit,4oyiUe f
V wl.t. , . , M. . .1..' ii
. wisest expendltare of these efforts and energies and most wisely to direct these
' force; . or. If not that, permit no day to pasa at the close of which you do not
knew that someone la glad you live, and who remember you as one who bright-
jened What otherwise Was a dreary portion of the pathway of life.
Don't fall Into the error that people do not appreciate such unselfish effort.
That Is cynicism -of the worst type. Good deeds do bring reward. Good work
; Insures compensation Kindness pays tha hlghrat dividend of all earthly invest-
. meats, , '
Hence, Jet It be sold to the young men of Portland, as the winter approaches
Incorporate In your plans for daily life a regular contribution of time and effort
and money towards some object of the character herein Indicated. You will be
worth- more to the community than if you live an utterly selfish life.
President Roosevelt, In his speech at
Hartford, said: "Fair and square dealing
with all men. so that men shall have
their rights under the law, that all shail
be given an even chance in the Struggle
for life, a we can best give It." Good
enough for anybody, Teddy. Now then
"pi'. the equal chunces around.
ConAress and the Legislatures are the
only b.Vlles allowed to mis-appropriate the
people's Vnoney without being liable to
prosecution. Ignorance of this fact has
gotten more than one person into trouble.
Gentlemen, a -stone walk in front of
jrour premises Is1, of more benefit, both to
yourself and the city, than alt the granite
you can place over your graves. If you
Just won't try the first, try the other.
'FOXY GRANDPA MAN.
I hear the children's laughter
From mjr chamber overhead;
1 know DE'S 'mo they're after v
To .show the' Jokes they've read.
Carl B. Schultxe, the originator of the
famous "Foxy Grandpa" sketches, has
probably more friends among the little
people than any other newspaper artist
fjo country. He scored, a great suc
cess with. "Foxy Grandpa" and mude
many rriends for the paper and for him
self. ,
Sir,. Seoul tie has developed bis genius
and Is today a decided favorite with the
children of the entire country.
Carl . Bchultze was born May 25, l&G,
in Lexington,. Ky. When 10 years, old he
visited Heeae Kastle, Germany, where he
remained, three years. In his 18th yeiif
he studied In New York under the famous
painter , Walter Sattelle. At 22 he edited
a society weekly. Truth, at Loui6vfller
Kv.
w
HE "WAS
.MM.
DISCOVKRKD.
While in the Palmer House, Chicago,
with seieral'' eompaiinn and Incidentally
It is not an evidence of strenuous
money conditions when you have to put
up your umbrella. Yet if you put up
yoar umbrella, you soak It; and if you
soak It, of course you put It up.
Ob this page, In the edtltlon of Wednesday, appeared" ah" article" written "by
""01ds Timer, discussing the advertising given to the Weftjln tfia. Eaat .andto
the European continent by be Buffalo Bill .Wild wist shcrws. TheJ arcte th
part saldt '-'
TfTrTflNul? -1 -U -Bup?c'r,t- the statement. .that B,uffalp .BJirs
- ' OLD TIMERS .ng elsewhej-e It reates tn,,thelr niinds the Jmpreesion
'" . . ii that "but here one must "carry a gun," else run into
.. constant danger. It apparently demonstrates to Easterners that their concep
tlons of the West, prompted by dime novel and romances, are correct. In
,- ; reality, the Wild West show merely is a bit of history from a past that has
gone with the stage coach and the pony express riders
, , To, remove these false impressions is now the great' task to which the Pacific
Coast is addressing itsolf. To prove that here people may find comforts to
; their liking, may secure satisfatclon for all tastes that refined people possess, is
-tiecessary just now, and such shows- as Buffalo Bill takes to the East render tho
task exceedingly difficult' i j, . "
. , Leet omex take exception to Old Timer's remarks, misapprehending what
,, , the young; man meant, who occasionally contributes to The Journal over that
,.om de plume, let it be n!adeear that there was probably no disposition on
.jkiB, part to say anything that hinted at lack of respect for the men and women
wh conquered this region from the savages and turned It to the uses of modern
civilisation. Perhaps the young man Joes not properly separate things posses
, ! rBlngr historic value from those that refer to present needs. Perhaps he attaches
' .too touch valuation to the utilitarian life, and does not to a sufficient degree
Ktve room lor the memories of that tn the past which made possible what we
, aow have. A
s . i".e . Q worm or healthy sentiment In the consideration of
.Buffalo Bill and others of his ilk. And no one could see the Wild West exhibi-
, , tiott without thrilling with the thought that It was Just such scenes that, were
ijT nacted when the Wild West was first visited by the brave pioneers who
I jfcttsrtfc'k! m.t t leave th comfort and security of the East and who came West
TiC-hixt 1'-. . If ivr;,- for the millions who have followed.
wo.tftri wisr. h of the Star of Empire, its progress -was forwarded by
5 ' Ae'Jl nd woaen WflC were of that gallant band of early settlers. When they
t-fhIrH-jet JSwara'tthe Pacific slope, here were nothing but dangers and
"puitctlaliil- . r-kfi, their lives In Uelr hands who left the East to cross
the "plains '.with only crude appliances for travel,'
If Buffali J3H1 Show men riding and shooting from their saddles, he is showing
,,wbat occurred, for there had to be men who could ride swirtly over .the prai
ries repulse the hordes of painted savages who swarmed before the emigrant
train.,,., V..;. . ' ' 3 ' '
, It Was 6t recklessness that characterized those early comers. It waa that
the spirit of empire possessed them; that they hoped to plant the Stars and
rtrlpe upon the mountain peaks of the western country and take It for Colum
bia it as that, they proposed to see to it that John Bull did not dlsplant
trncle Sain In hl. region; and, therefore, it was that there ever were things
that are today' and therefore It was that there was ever heard the cry 1"54-40 or
'fight?. , K - : :
l Let.no yonng man, affecting the non de phime of Old Timer, cast even sugges
tive rejection vpon the real old timers, who went before us and some of whom are
here with u yet :1 ' " ' '
Purthermore, Buffalo Bill elves one , act referable to other scenes, yet possess
"7 lu beat.; brings his small army onto :Thls miniature field, repre-
i uo.uni raiies oi ne vunan campaigns, .and illustrates a bit of
It is possible the brand of beverages
at the seaside resorts is falling off in
quality.' Here the season is more than
half gone,, and no sea serpents are yet
reported.
"FOXY GRANDPA."
A Georgia paper says: "Col. Boggs
fell Into a dry well Buturday last,, but
the colonel was not dry when- he fell
In." "-' "
, When'Jull-a-Xraesar spaaka -at Shields'
Park, it should be borne in mind that the
most.toee4wrar1 fils ijSpS'och.' of e
... jt"; ' . ,. t.. . i
those, you .dwnlt hear. , v , , ... : J
When a woman's mouth is shaped like
a Cupid's bow, it does not lessehv; the
danger to her listener when she ''shoots
off her mouth."
The Bhah's little luncheon the other.'day
cost him $15,000. And now he ,kn6
' if" -If1 '' . ,,v
Something Of the Beef Trust, and how it
is himself. , t
Those people kicking against the side
walk ordinance, should visit the Wild
West Show and learn how to buck. -
Agulnaldo is going to farming and re
fuses to talk politics. Funston might,
after all, learn something from Aggie.
Mary Macl-ane chirps, I was born to
be alone. So it seems Mary can't even
sff catch the d 1. , . ,
Teddy should remember that in the
multiplicity of talk, there is much dan
6r.
V
7 life to the spectator. It was a scene to, tlk jhg latent admiration of
1 " bat u tn breast ,of all periw.nsit -was dramatic, and
x r.1teene, Indeed, when,, bivouacked upon the bat'tlefleld. light turned
-rprpsent nlghti,' one soldier struck up. the national anthem, "Amarjoa,
l?y J lined by others, until 130 men were singing the song" that to
i t : o 1 ( ' t song ever written, 1 '
-fa prompted by !UcIsilw passed. ujoa 'iju;Uol.by;.
Buffalo Bill can break the public more
successful than his cow boys can break
- -
the bronchos. .
J. Pierpont Morgan is again home. No,
he did not bring Germany with, him.
Perhaps the Fair site committee could
locate It better by scent than sight. -.
Simply as a suggestion, why not make
a trust reserve of the Philippines?
The Friar bands in the Philippines have
caused more stew than fry.
, ACCOMMODATING GEORGE,
George Washington had barely fallen
into a doze when his trusty aid awak
ened him. - 'V: , , . v '.' '
''Pardon excellent" said the bravo
and watchful soldier; "but you have al
ready ; slept three and one-fourth min
utes." . -. V
'True," replied the father of his coun
try, "letus go on to the next."
Forthwith they trekked down the road.-
for the great man -was determined to
Jeave to his countrymen the largest pos-
iuia iiumuer vi ruuia unuer WOlCa 9
had Slept New Xork Sun. ,
sketched a subject on an envelope. One
of the bystanders wag struck with the
strong lines of the Impromptu cartoon
and suggested selling It to the newspa
per.
Acting on this suggestion, Schultze went
to the Tribune and was promptly turned
down. He called on Dr. Frank Rellly,
managing editor of the Chicago Morning
News, who refused the sketches, but
spoke kindly to the young artist. Some
what encouraged, he submitted the
sketches to Horatio Seymour, of the
Herald. Here ait last they were accepted
and exchanged for good dollars.
GOT A JOB.
Victor Lawson, of the Chicago Dally
News, noticed the work of the young art
ist and offered him a position at $16 a
week. This was accepted and retained
until an, opening on the Tribune at $30 a
week presented Itself. After two years
with the Tribune Schultie became man
ager of the art department of the Times,
Where he remained for several months.
The great World's Fair in 18S3 proved
an irresistible attraction and Schultze
threw up his position to becomeit frbe
lance. (After doing service on the Inter
i)oea and the ChrerUsle, Sohultse visited
?w'jrfc.,. 6ut" rintfnjgji n6 opening return
ed "to a -profitable proposition with W. D.
Boyce, of Chicago.
A trip to California filled in a year's
time and while In San Francisco Schultze
made a series of original4 lantern slides
for Clarence Webater, of the Sah Fran
cisco Post. This suggested the idea and
some 20 series of lantern slides were sent
to New York. These w-ere promptly re
jected but visiting New York some six or
seven months later every one was easily
disposed of.
" -ORIGINATED THE PICTURES.
After "a lour-months' tour in Europe
among old school grounds and familiar
places Schu'tze returned to New York,
and after contributing to Judge and
other papers, for some time, went with
the New York Herald, and in January,
1900, originated the now famous "Foxy
Grandpa" serle.
Foxy Grandpa" was an Instantaneous
favorite. Children were enraptured with I
his antics and grown folks were, much
amused at his cleverness. "Bunny" re
ceived letters galore from different sec
tions and usually made firm friends of
his correspondents. "Foxy Grandpa" was
admitted without question Into the homes
of the aristocracy as well as the homes
of the masses.
BOOMED HIS PAPER.
The circulation of the Herald boomed
considerably through this, grand, old) man,
who had a proclivity for, winning but in
Just the right way. The European ei..aon
of the Herald published the "Foxy Grand
pa" sketches simultaneously and the
ojilldren of two continents were amused.
Carl E. Schjjltze ear a resemblance
to "Foxy Grandpa ' himself. Kouna ana
4ovial, good-natured to a degree, fond of
a Joke, and pleasant witnai at au. times,
Schultze ha (unconsciously, perhaps) Im
parted some of his own personality to the
clever old gentleman Of the sketch. Mr.
Schultze resides at Mt. Vernon, N. Y.,
and is decidedly, a family man. There
in the quiet of the -country life he con
jures up the adventures. which have set
a good portion of tha world a-smlllngi -.
'FROM OTHER VIEWPOINTS. :
There is no reason why oil should not
satisfy, 'mechanically, the seeds , of j-war
ships -as a fuel. All experiements point
to the conclusion that It will, as far as
mere generation of motive power is, con
cerned. But in time of war It would be
different. In a naval battle a 'ship fitted
with oil . tank, subject to explosion by
a shell, Would not be on equal terms with
one whose full coal bunkers . increased
her protection rather than added to her
danger. Seattle P.-f. .
A BOOM COM1NQ. ; '
wood and water are going- to be re.
sponsible for two booms ihat ara head.
ed for Oregon, as surely as anything; in
the future T:an be. There will'bb a boom
in Southeastern Oregon as iwn as that
suction Is connected with the outside
world by rail and. water applied by
means of irrigation' canals o the and
lands. There will be a boom all along'
the coast line as soon as railroads are
constructed so that mills may be put in
and operated In eawlng up the Immense
forests of magnificent timber. - The Wil
lamette Valley, betwen the twosections.
will profit from both of -these coming
booms. Salem Statesman.
HOPES THElTWlLL WIN.
The mlner3 have not yet. surrendered.
They are making a hard' fight. . They
have never won out before, and there
are many who hope they will this time.
There 1 nqt much confidence In their
Victory, however, as the odds all seem to
be against them.- But. still, they may
succeed In getting concessions. When the
Koer-wnr began lt was predicted that
they would not succeed; that, their defeat
In short order was inevitable, The coun
try said tney Were right, but that fate
was overwhelmingly - against them. Still,
they surprised the world by their stay
ing qualities, --and ultimately won what
may be considered a victory under the
clrcumstancno. The mlner3 haVe many
sympathizers and these may render suf
Sclent, assistance to them to aid In pull
ing out with concessions that will be
beneficial. East Orcgonlan, Pendleton.
ROOSEVELT ON THE TRUSTS.
To use bis own homely phrase. Presi
dent Roosevelt "stays put" on the trust
qntstlon. His speech at Providence, R.
I., though temperate and regardful of the
benefit, and rights of organized capital.
ro-venled a clear purpose in the sneaker's
mind to put the great trusts and jinonop
olles under curb of law. The president
made it plain that he believes:
First, that these corporations ought to
be curbed.
Second, that the existing law will be
vigorously enforced.
Third, that his odmlrilstrntlon win urge
additional 'legislation,', m 6rder; that still
greater' restraint may be put upon dKrt-
gerons combinations.. i:-: i
If will be noted that the President is
even firmer on thld question now' than
when he first dlscused this probleny In
his message to congress. Time and more
mature reflection seem to have deepened
his convictions. Neither the blandish
ments of great wealth nor the subtle
threatB of the trust leaders and their or
gans and attorneys have swerved him
from the' pa'th of duty. This discloses
courage of high order and firmness that
is always one of the attributes of true
statesmanship. Whatever else the Pres
ident's enemies may say of him, they will
not refer to him as a Jelly-fish. Spokes
man-Review. Spokane. v
DEMOCRATIC ERRORS.
Roosevelt's administration bids fair to
make expansion as universally an ac
cepted fact as McKtnley's Made' the gold
standard. Grant's results of the war, and
Lincoln's the union and emancipatipti.
.T1
A MOCKER.- -T
'Will A, Campbell, a printer, editor, hu
man being and genius, saw ;the-4lgbt of
day nrst in same obscure little Nebraska
town. He grew up like other children of
Nebraska towns, obtained some schooling
and began ttfscrarabl for a-living when
no wai yet at a tender age.
There was always something, the mat
ter with him. He knew it and others
knew.it, but he never knew what it was
until , ho started a little magazine called
"The ivnocker," and then it developed
that he wss a genius. v
- HIS ARTICLES OF FAITH.'
In the initial number of his literary
venture the young scribe relieved him
self of 28 articles of faith.
I knock on the knocker who knocks on
Christ and the church. It is a Sign that
a man- is seeking notoriety. Let's keep a
good thing until we get a better,
I knock on the self-righteous. They are
usually, people who by Wordbf success
juvyc iiunueu mvu vie-w. xne pest we
fcun do id 'to be virtuous as nossible.
knock on the social rule that permits
a woman to cover indiscretions otother
days with a sealBkln cloak. A woman
has a right to "live it down," but a rich
woman should "have no shorter probation
ttan a poor one.
I knock pn the man who tells children
that there Is no Santa Claua. The trag
edy of Ufa begins when faith departs and
the pan who will hasten the departure
is related to the devil,
I knock on the knocker who knock on
his wife. A tnan who respects not the
mother of his own children respect not
himself. His plaint that'she has not kept
apt vlth him fool nobody. He has hi
eye on 'another woman. In the Greek
'lor better .or for worse" means "take
your medicine." .
I knock on the social pest, whose social
ratlnjr is a hat full of prunes, and who
passes by old friends." He Is a snob.
Trace him back to. his father and you'll
end a rabbit. . ,
KNOCK ON NAGGERS.
I knock on the woman who nags her
txsband. .. .More men have gone to hell
by this rouv'vand picked up more corre
spondents alon,'- the way than by any
other. "'
I knock on the mother -who blondes her
hair, paints, 'powders and tries to pass
us the younger sister of her eldest daugh
ter. She Is a humbutr. I be to state. 1
I knock i.n the American girl. The girl
who has been raised in a cultured home;
who possesses both talent and accom
plishment; who has grown into a woman
ly woma; and is too worthy for any
young man, but who casts her life by her
own choice with a smooth guy, whose
brain are worth 2 cents a pound for soap
easer-a . descendant of a long line of
half-wits; a dlzsy f'oung dude too lazy
to work' and too cowardly' to steak too
everlastingly "ornery" fd raise a respect
nfile crop or wild oats; ft young lollipop
ribbon clert dh'$2 per aht a monopoly on
the gdtl of -the globe that is the kind of
Apollos American girls admire, and It
would give a buzzard a bilious attack.
I knock on the mother-in-law who goes
loaded with advice. She Is not so many
as some make out, but, like the bad egg
In the dozen, it is tough on the man who
gets her.
I knock on the pessimist. He is an
Ighmaellte and tells disagreeable truths,
The thing to do is to Join the procession
nnd stand for the things "what Is."
STRIKES AT CRANKS.
I knock on the relielous rrnnfc who
scares chlldiWlnto nightmare by preach
Ing hell fire. God created man to enjoy
life here below and life with him here
after. He Is not sending untold millions
to hell. ,
Marquam-"The Toy Maker, Tlvoli
Opera Company. , '
Cordray-."Tids'of XJfa.'V Melodrama,
enieid's Park-Vaudevills. '! " ,
, t J . ' v , 'J
M ".iCOMINQ ATTRACTIONS. '.''
Marquam llard Juvenile Opera;.
Comnanv fnm r.mVai : ' . s
Baker's-Nelll' BtockCompany, 'Social".
Highwaymen." week besmnlns; Sunday, i
August 8L . ' '
Cordrays-Belcaco Juvenile Soecialti v
Company .beginning Sunday slight. , 3 'i , ; '
Shields' Park VaudevUle coming week
BILLS OF THE PLAYS.
"Toy Maker" was sung by the Tlvolli ;
at the Marquam on Fridajj night and it
to be the bill tonight It jWai repeated
this afternoon, at the matinee, . when
there was a world of interest for the
children, because each one who was .
present was given a toy souvenir by the
generous management "Toy Maker"
was ouite up to the attainments of the
Tivoll on previous nights of the weekr
Staging effects were good, the chorus
singing was again the feature, and there
were numerous recalls for some of thd
soloists. '
The Pollard Juvenile Opera Compan
will be the attraction for Carnival week;
Cordray' had "Tide of Life" again. t
good business. The Belasco Juvenile -Specialty
Company is next week's at
traction. -. ,
Last night the amateurs, held ths
boara at Shields' Park, after the reg
ular performance. Shields and bis Pan
ama hat did the announcing. ' Julius
Caesar was the first number on the pro
gram and was greeted with vociferous
SDDfaUBe. Mara Antniiv'a ftlenilNR.a. o,l
oVessed the assembled crowds on "Labor
Day;" he then sang twoongs, after
which he left the stage with grandilo
quent impresslveness.
W. T. KIrby, tho California baritone.
rendered "Absence Makes the Heart
Grow Fonder." Pat and Casey attempt,
ed to do an Irish stunt, but became con
fused, and were ejected from the -stage.
Ada Parker and Sally Parrott comnienced
singing a duet, but were routed by the
Jeers of the small iboy. The crowning
act of the amateur show, was the pie
eating contest which was won by a small
boy about seven feet tall, and who says
that this Is the third pte-eatlng contest
in which he is the winner.
A CHESTNUT TREL
Hafry "Don't youJ remember that
when we, were engage lasf summer we
out our initials on.ithat tree?" xx -
MaJ6rle-"Oh that!sea cUeBtnuf-New
.York Sun, - ' , ' - ; , 1 ,
True democracy erred and Were woefully
beaten in opposing these principles and
In persisting In opposition to them.
r Brooklyn Eagle. ..,.
NOT CHAROEABLE TQ CltY LIFE.
Medical science differs widely as to the
causes of the increase In Insanity. That
rural life has produced possibly the larg
est number of Insane patients disproves
the theory that the nervous, excitable
life of our cities' is calculated to cause
insanity. Alcoholism and heriditary
taint serve to swell the growing list,
while insufficient sleep and lack of
wholesome recreation are among the
other moat prolific causes. Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
FRaV?Z SiGEL. PATRIOT.
The dfth, in New York, of Franz Slgel
removes from our midst one of the last
of the wonderful men of '48, who, while
falling short of their aspirations of lnde
pendence, yet took an Important part In
the history of Europe and made for-
themselves n a meg' .jf-Tffd u r i n g fame.
Nor can his services to this . country
ever be forgotten by the government or
the people, while among our sturdy Ger
man-American citizenship his name will
always be remembered with reverence
and affection. He was a great soldier,
a devoted patriot of the country of hjs
adoption. America will always welcome
svoh -men as Franz Slgel. Buffalo Even
ing Times.
STRONG AND ABLE.
A great many 'people who are not Ro
man Catholics will be much interested
and pleased if it 8balI" provetrue that
Archbishop Ireland Is to be made a car
dinal. He is a very strong, sound and
able American, and his devotion to- t lis
great Republic is a fine example for all
his countrymen, ot whatever religious
views or associations. " The Pope could
not dp anything which would be more'
pleasing to the American people, as a
whole, than to bestow Increased power
and new honors upon Archbishop Ire
land. Cleveland New and Herald. .
TURKEY.
This country and Turkey are still con
tending over the Stone abduction case
and the consequence Is that the relations
betwen , the two nations are somewhat
Strained. The Turkish government does
not recognize nor will it admit any re
sponsibility for Miss Stone' abduction
or for the destruction of property during
the Armenian outbreak. .They say that
wnen missionaries invode that country
and seekto make- proselytes against the
Mohammedan faith they must do It at
their own' risk, and this claim ha so ap
pealed to the horse sense of the Roose
velt administration that it 1 now. taking
time to reflect. Peoria Stay . f ' ; j
i. .-. ; li ' . , "
I knock hard' on tha bum the les-lti
mate off sTing of ho?odl'umin5 the curse
of modern civilization. He never pays
taaes, but makes a:"'"monthly tour in
ser.rch-Of a sof snap where wages are
nigner. no Knows tne road to every
Joint and his example artistically escorts
the youth to damnation. I He scoffs at ths
church, defies goqd citizenship and ruins
the community. The man who will no
work heads the excursion to helt May
the Lord have mercy on his soul.
I knock on the man who knocks on this
magazine. He Is an intellectual dwarf,
parody on manhood, and la in for a roast
In the next issue.
I knock on the little pothouse politician
vho posss to run the whole electoral col
lege and point out wiser men their duties,
He is a bore and don't know a fundament
al principle from his funny bone..
I knock on gold-plated godliness. Christ
never built a church or asked for a vaca
tion on full pay never. Jesus Christ
human or divine, was the grandest man
tr.at ever graced the tide of time. Be of
the same mind. '
I knock on trying to reform' Tallen wo.
men by turning them over to the police
a la Parkhurst. Better put some lucre
Into the .work Instead of supporting mis
ginneries to peddle saving grace in pagan
p lands who Incidentally extend the market
for tobacco, snide Jewelry and 40-rod bug
.Juice.
KNOCKS BHAMS.
I knock on the "philanthropist" who
tosses a million or so to some conspicuous
charity and next day corners a human
necessity. He don't fool God. I knock on
the subjects of puppet Kings and Dukes
who come to this country and breed dis
content and anarchy by kicking on the
Cswerr.ment. To live in America is to be
a King. j " ;
I knock on the man who gossips. The
truy who tell his. troubles to others In
stead of keeping them for home consump
tion. If he was up to the moral level of
the mangy coyote or the Intellectual alti
tude of an acephalous kouse I would give
him more spacebut he's too small fry.
r I knock on public osculation. A man
should have some sympthy for bystand
ers even if he don't know they are by.
Such , offenses are agalnBt the noble in
man and the modest , in woman.:' These
osoulatory demonstration ot esteem
Ehould be received for the holy of holies
and not be permitted ' in well-regulated
parlors. We know ayoung man whom
we would like to take out behind the
smokehouse and cause him to pasa to the
untimely bourne where all faces stand
ajar in everlasting singing.
RESORTS STRENUOUS. - .
"Going away for the . summer T"
"No,": answered. t the man who com-.
plain; "I'm not feeling strong enough
to fao the brass- bands and merryvgo
rounds at a summer resort The dbctor
says I' have to stay at horn and iC
I Washington Stat
ADVANCE NOTICES.
Advance notices will he fonud
page 6.
on
SOME SUMMER LAUGHS.
"No." said Mrs. Finicky, proudly "my
husband is so particular that he will
never carry a bundle or a package on the
street"
"How charming!" remarked Lunshup.
But to himself he remarked: "That
why he insisted on having a cab the
other night when he wasn't more than
half full."-Cinclnnati Commercial Trl.
oune.
"How did you come out of that last
speculation of yours, Blowley?"
"None of your business,"
"Sorry that you lost old man." New
York Daily News.
A Elizabeth approached the mud pud
dle she noticed Raleigh unfastening his
mantle. "What Is your game?" demand- t.
ed the monarch, showing a royal flush.
"To play the queen for all its worth,
answered the courtier, laying his cloak
at her feet
'Take my hand," rejoined the sover-.
eign, raising him.
Those in attendance thought that cards
would soon be out, but Sir Walter, being
promoted to command the rlsyal yacht
secured a new deck. New York Times.
"When are you going to call' on the
Van Dulls V asked the daughter.
"Just aa Boon," answered the mother,
"as I can find -out when they are not ffo
lng to be at home." Washington Star.
Whisky," shouted the lecturer, "will
take the coat off a man's stomach."
"Worse than that," grumbled the mas
with the pawn ticket; "it will take the
cot off his back." Philadelphia Record.
"How's this?" asked the customer in
the book store. "Last week the prices on
Bacon and Lamb were only-' $1.25 and
.how you have marked them up to S3."
"Well, you see," explained the book'
seller, "since the meat trust began cor
nering supplies"
But tho customer hurried away to se
cure matinee seats for" "A Texas Steer"
before the prices went up et'the theatre
also." Baltimore American.
"Master I "cried little Emerson Bost-
ing, "may! not amuse myself with the
yidltequus?" .'
1 "Ye. Tou may permit him to do so.
nurse."
'But what is it he wants, ma'am T
inquired the new nurse. ;
The saw horse, I suppose you would
call it," said Mrs. Bosting, admirably,
concealing her Impatience at such ignor
ance. Philadelphia Press. . .
"Yes, he swindled us," said one of the
victims, "and we considered him Such a
perfect gentleman; he had auch a gentle,
suave .way about him-!' "Providing,"
remarked the other, "that the way of the
transgressor Uisometlmes soft." Catho
lic Standard 'and Times.
- HIS KIND OF WAR.
On the bleak shores of Massachusetts
stood a man his face wreathed In smiles,
Far out In the briny deep the Imagin
ary' enemy was firing Imaginary shots at
the Imaginary fleet conducting . the im-
aginary defense, . V '
Suddenly an imaginary officer appeared
in the imaginary distance and hoisted an
imaginary signal announcing an Imagln
ary viotory. . . ' 1 .
"Ah," smiles Mr. Long, "an imaglnarjj
4
j? . I hero at last" Baltimore American, (
if